1. And he says... he says,
"Why the long face?"Copy !req
2. And I say, "Hey, buddy,
I can't help it."Copy !req
3. You get that? Long face.
Horses have long faces.Copy !req
4. I am a horse, my face is long.
You get it, right?Copy !req
5. Good, good.Copy !req
6. What about
the Rock Hudson stuff?Copy !req
7. Felt like that flew
over your heads.Copy !req
8. Did you get that?Copy !req
9. Keep this up, and the only
thing we're gonna getCopy !req
10. is our money back!Copy !req
11. Okay, okay,
it wasn't that funny.Copy !req
12. Maybe you didn't get it.Copy !req
13. Uh, hey, guys, guys...Copy !req
14. Hey, let me buy you a drink.Copy !req
15. Get cancer, jerk wad.Copy !req
16. You've got some good material,
you really do.Copy !req
17. The Gorbachev stuff,
it's killer.Copy !req
18. But you gotta stop asking people
if they get things.Copy !req
19. But then who do I know
if they got it?Copy !req
20. They'll laugh.Copy !req
21. Why are you giving me advice?Copy !req
22. Look, I've been doing stand-up
for a year now,Copy !req
23. and it's the responsibility
of big shots like meCopy !req
24. to always be looking out
for the little guy.Copy !req
25. Let me buy you a drink.Copy !req
26. Oh, I don't drink.Copy !req
27. BoJack Horseman.Copy !req
28. Herb Kazazz.Copy !req
29. Oh, God!Copy !req
30. Goddamn it, Todd,
clean up your shit.Copy !req
31. What am I supposed to do, okay?Copy !req
32. You don't give me
any closet space.Copy !req
33. Not my problem.
A better man than youCopy !req
34. once said, and I quote,Copy !req
35. "It's the responsibility
of little guys like youCopy !req
36. to be looking out
for big shots like me."Copy !req
37. Who said that?Copy !req
38. I don't know, Jesus, Ghandi,
Malcolm-Jamal Warner.Copy !req
39. Clean up your shit!
Oh!Copy !req
40. Gloria Steinem,
one of the leading lightsCopy !req
41. of modern feminism.Copy !req
42. You will surely go down
in the annals of historyCopy !req
43. just as surely
as Lisa LampanelliCopy !req
44. will go down in the locker room
of the Houston Rockets.Copy !req
45. Hey, BoJack, settle a bet.Copy !req
46. Are you a Zoe or a Zelda?Copy !req
47. Don't know what that means.Copy !req
48. Well, I was talking to Wayne.Copy !req
49. - Who's Wayne?
- I'm Wayne.Copy !req
50. Wayne's writing an article
about me for BuzzFeed.Copy !req
51. BuzzFeed?
What'll they think of next?Copy !req
52. Fun fact: Wayne is also
my ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
53. Ha! You're funny.Copy !req
54. Pretty cool, eh, BoJack?Copy !req
55. Diane's writing a book
about you,Copy !req
56. Wayne's writing
an article about me.Copy !req
57. We're the same!Copy !req
58. How could you think that
that's the same?Copy !req
59. My book will be in libraries
for hundreds of years.Copy !req
60. Your BuzzFeed article
will be crammedCopy !req
61. between an animated GIF
of a cat falling asleepCopy !req
62. and a list of fun facts
about Legally Blonde.Copy !req
63. Ha! Classic Zoe.Copy !req
64. I still don't know
what that means.Copy !req
65. Well, are you familiar
with Mr. Peanutbutter's House?Copy !req
66. Do you mean his sitcom
that coincidentallyCopy !req
67. had the exact same premise
as my sitcom?Copy !req
68. Not the exact same.
Mr. Peanutbutter's HouseCopy !req
69. featured a pair of twins,
Zoe and Zelda.Copy !req
70. Zelda was the sunny,
fun-loving extrovert.Copy !req
71. Look at my pumpkin,
Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
72. Pretty smile, Zelly-belly.Copy !req
73. Aww...Copy !req
74. Whereas Zoe was the smart,
cynical introvert.Copy !req
75. My pumpkin's throwing up
because HalloweenCopy !req
76. encourages excessive consumption
of refined sugarCopy !req
77. at a time when obesity rates
are sky high.Copy !req
78. Plus, Halloween costumes are
a gateway to casual racism.Copy !req
79. Why don't I keep the knife,
Zo-bo?Copy !req
80. Now, was the show's acting
ham-fistedCopy !req
81. and the writing moronic?Copy !req
82. N-n-no?Copy !req
83. Yes, but the Zoe/Zelda
paradigm rang true.Copy !req
84. I believe everyone's
either a Zoe or a Zelda.Copy !req
85. For example, Nixon was a Zoe
and Kennedy, a Zelda.Copy !req
86. Al Gore, Zoe.
George W. Bush, total Zelda.Copy !req
87. It's R2-D2 and C-3PO,
Zooey and Emily Deschanel.Copy !req
88. So Zooey's a Zoe?Copy !req
89. No, Zooey's a Zelda.
Emily's the Zoe.Copy !req
90. What a crazy world.Copy !req
91. So which one are you, BoJack?Copy !req
92. I think I'm...
above this.Copy !req
93. Said the Zoe.Copy !req
94. Well, I think I'm a Zelda.Copy !req
95. Or maybe you're
the third kind of person,Copy !req
96. whose only function is to drain
the energy and life forceCopy !req
97. from his host organism.Copy !req
98. Come on, BoJack.Copy !req
99. Nah, he's right.
I'm pretty much worthless.Copy !req
100. See? You say something
to someone enough times,Copy !req
101. and eventually,
he internalizes it.Copy !req
102. The system works.Copy !req
103. I don't have a job,
I don't have any prospects.Copy !req
104. I probably won't ever finish
the rock opera I'm working on.Copy !req
105. What?Copy !req
106. Since when are you
working on a rock opera?Copy !req
107. Oh, no.
Why'd I ask that?Copy !req
108. Basically, it's Tommy
by way of Cirque du SoleilCopy !req
109. set in space,
with heavy erotic overtones,Copy !req
110. and the gripping psychodrama
of a thrillerCopy !req
111. with plenty of heart
and more than a little humor.Copy !req
112. I call it
Newtopia Rising, Book I:Copy !req
113. The Search for a New Utopia.Copy !req
114. Book I?Copy !req
115. You've got me
thinking sequel here.Copy !req
116. Ugh.Copy !req
117. - I'm in.
- I'm out.Copy !req
118. Loam?
"Rich with loam?"Copy !req
119. Yeah, it's a kind of soil.Copy !req
120. These people are simple,
agricultural types.Copy !req
121. On a spaceship?Copy !req
122. "Slaves."
Just say "slaves."Copy !req
123. That was... and I don't
say this lightly...Copy !req
124. worse than a hundred
September 11ths.Copy !req
125. Yeah, you're right.
This was stupid.Copy !req
126. I don't know
what I was thinking.Copy !req
127. Well, guess I'll give up
forever.Copy !req
128. That's the spirit.Copy !req
129. Now, you have to understand
that as a port city,Copy !req
130. Liverpool had unique access to
all aspects of American culture,Copy !req
131. especially Blues music and its
unruly nephew, Rock and Roll.Copy !req
132. I thought this story was about
running into Paul McCartneyCopy !req
133. in the bathroom
at the Golden Globes.Copy !req
134. It is. I thought you would
appreciate some context.Copy !req
135. Let's skip that one
for a minute.Copy !req
136. Tell me about Todd.Copy !req
137. Todd?
What's to tell?Copy !req
138. Five years ago, he found his way
into one of my house partiesCopy !req
139. and never left.Copy !req
140. And you've never asked him
anything about himself?Copy !req
141. I've asked him to get a job,
I've asked him to move out.Copy !req
142. With a little encouragement,Copy !req
143. I'll bet he could
really flourish.Copy !req
144. I mean, didn't you have anyone
who helped youCopy !req
145. when you were just starting out?Copy !req
146. Um, actually, no.Copy !req
147. Todd clearly thinks
the world of you.Copy !req
148. Todd thinks the world
of Pop-Tarts.Copy !req
149. Look, I get that helping other
people is not your thing, but...Copy !req
150. What? I let Todd live
rent-free in my stately manse.Copy !req
151. I am his own personal
Mother Teresa.Copy !req
152. But do you let him stay here
because you're kindCopy !req
153. or just because you're terrified
of being alone?Copy !req
154. That is insane!Copy !req
155. I would love to be alone.
That is all I want.Copy !req
156. Mmm... if that were
really true,Copy !req
157. I don't think you'd be clipping
Todd's wings all the time.Copy !req
158. What? That's unbelievable.Copy !req
159. Todd!Copy !req
160. What?
Clean up my shit?Copy !req
161. Yes, but also,
I would like to...Copy !req
162. help you with your
dumb-ass rock opera.Copy !req
163. - What?
- I am... supporting you.Copy !req
164. I-I don't understand.
Oh, my God, are you dying?Copy !req
165. No. I... think you have great
depth of untapped potentialCopy !req
166. and I wish to mentor you
in your... art.Copy !req
167. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
168. Wait, is this going to be
like that timeCopy !req
169. you promised to take me
ice skating,Copy !req
170. and I got really excited
about the ice skating,Copy !req
171. but then instead of ice skating,
you left me at homeCopy !req
172. so you could go
to the strip clubCopy !req
173. and then you took the strippers
ice skating?Copy !req
174. - No.
- Then hooray!Copy !req
175. Let's dig in.
Where to start?Copy !req
176. Okay, well, the headline is,
I hate it.Copy !req
177. I hate everything about it.Copy !req
178. The premise is bad
and the execution is also bad.Copy !req
179. It's an irredeemable jumble
of shit.Copy !req
180. Tough but fair.Copy !req
181. Ahem.Copy !req
182. That said, I don't see whyCopy !req
183. we can't make something
really great here.Copy !req
184. Okay, thank you.
I'll work on that.Copy !req
185. Are you close?Copy !req
186. No!Copy !req
187. - How 'bout now?
- No!Copy !req
188. Now?Copy !req
189. You're not even inside of me.Copy !req
190. Oh, God!Copy !req
191. Did you get there?Copy !req
192. Okay, so you know
in the second act closerCopy !req
193. when the seekers of Newtopia
are in the Turbidians' dungeonCopy !req
194. and they learn their shipCopy !req
195. - has been destroyed?
- No.Copy !req
196. Well, what if we move that
to the fourth act?Copy !req
197. I have no idea
what you're talking about,Copy !req
198. but that idea is terrible.Copy !req
199. I hear the note.
Let me see what I can do.Copy !req
200. So?Copy !req
201. How can I put this?Copy !req
202. Imagine if the Holocaust
happenedCopy !req
203. every four years
like the Olympics.Copy !req
204. I would rather that happened
than your rock opera.Copy !req
205. That's not really a note.Copy !req
206. In fact, none of your notes
have been notes.Copy !req
207. I feel like you're
not even listening.Copy !req
208. Yeah, well, you know what?
Maybe I would listenCopy !req
209. if the Turbidians
had some reasonCopy !req
210. to enter
the Cave of Swollen DreamsCopy !req
211. that didn't break the pact
they made in act oneCopy !req
212. with Queen Darneesa.Copy !req
213. You have been listening.Copy !req
214. Just doesn't make sense.Copy !req
215. The Turbidians
are a loyal people.Copy !req
216. They... they wouldn't
betray their queen.Copy !req
217. Unless...Copy !req
218. They were working
for Queen Darneesa,Copy !req
219. who gave them a potion
that would counteractCopy !req
220. the effects of
the Elixir of Failed RemembranceCopy !req
221. so they could bring
the secret knowledgeCopy !req
222. from the cave back to her,
and then establish NewtopiaCopy !req
223. as a vassal state
to the Craterman kingdom!Copy !req
224. Well, don't just sit there!
Get this down!Copy !req
225. Oh, you like that.Copy !req
226. You like daddy's good stuff?Copy !req
227. Not especially.Copy !req
228. Did you get there?Copy !req
229. Okay, what if there isn't
a robot army?Copy !req
230. I think you just
blew this thing wide open.Copy !req
231. That was great!
This train is moving.Copy !req
232. Let's take a break
and get lunch.Copy !req
233. Wait, you want
to get lunch with me?Copy !req
234. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
235. Is this like the time
you invited me to lunch,Copy !req
236. but then, when I got
to the restaurant,Copy !req
237. you texted me to tell me
you weren't comingCopy !req
238. because you were at a strip club
"eating stripper" for lunch,Copy !req
239. and also, it was my birthday?Copy !req
240. No.Copy !req
241. Then hooray!Copy !req
242. And that was a last time
I worked with David O. Russell.Copy !req
243. What's that old expression?Copy !req
244. "Fool me once, shame on me,
but fool me twice...Copy !req
245. fiddle-dee-dee."Copy !req
246. I do believe
that is the expression.Copy !req
247. Ooh, hold on.Copy !req
248. I gotta take this.Copy !req
249. Erica, I don't have timeCopy !req
250. to be charmed to death
right now.Copy !req
251. So how long have you been
dating Mr. Peanutbutter?Copy !req
252. Is it serious?
I'm only asking for the article.Copy !req
253. Better question:
How long does it takeCopy !req
254. to write a BuzzFeed article?Copy !req
255. I want to be thorough.Copy !req
256. What? Diane, Diane,
Diane, Diane!Copy !req
257. - Do you know what today is?
- Sunday?Copy !req
258. It's "burritos as big as your head" day
at El Taco Loco!Copy !req
259. We gotta go right now!Copy !req
260. I thought we were going to see
the Diane Arbus showCopy !req
261. at LACMA today.
You know I love Diane Arbus.Copy !req
262. I see what's happening here.Copy !req
263. Her name is Diane,
and your name is Diane.Copy !req
264. That's not what's happening.Copy !req
265. I can go to the Arbus show
with you, Diane.Copy !req
266. What?Copy !req
267. I've actually been meaning
to go myself.Copy !req
268. Oh, man, you guys
are perfect for each other.Copy !req
269. Why did you ever break up?Copy !req
270. Okay, less yakking,
more snacking.Copy !req
271. Let's go ride in the car!Copy !req
272. Here's your steak.Copy !req
273. - Uh, sorry.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
274. You mean to tell me
that for a full yearCopy !req
275. you were on the run
from the Russian mafia?Copy !req
276. Well, a Russian mafia.Copy !req
277. I can't believe you never
told me any of this stuff.Copy !req
278. I just thought you were
a dumb freeloaderCopy !req
279. who ate all my food
and played video games all day.Copy !req
280. You should have seen me
in high school.Copy !req
281. There was this one game,
Decapathon.Copy !req
282. I remember that game.Copy !req
283. I was up for Dr. Decapitator
in the movie version.Copy !req
284. They said they wanted
someone hipper,Copy !req
285. but the part ended up
going to Robert Downey.Copy !req
286. - Junior?
- If it was Junior,Copy !req
287. I would have said, "Junior."Copy !req
288. That game basically
destroyed my life.Copy !req
289. I flunked out of school,
my girlfriend left me.Copy !req
290. I mean, I didn't stop playingCopy !req
291. until my mom
threw me out of the house.Copy !req
292. I mean, that's when
I first realized, you know,Copy !req
293. I'm a total screw-up.Copy !req
294. You're not a screw-up
anymore, Todd.Copy !req
295. You're about to have
a hit rock opera on your hands.Copy !req
296. I'm really glad you think that.Copy !req
297. I got Princess Carolyn to inviteCopy !req
298. Virgil Van Cleef
to our next rehearsal.Copy !req
299. Who in the what Van?Copy !req
300. Virgil Van Cleef is
the biggest name in rock opera.Copy !req
301. Okay, think of all
the great rock operasCopy !req
302. from the last 20 years.Copy !req
303. Okay.Copy !req
304. He had a piece of all of them.Copy !req
305. Wow, Todd, are you sure
we're ready for that?Copy !req
306. Hey, you said yourself
the train is moving,Copy !req
307. but if you think
we're not ready,Copy !req
308. I mean, I'll listen to you.Copy !req
309. Hey, you've done
enough listening, buddy.Copy !req
310. Maybe it's about time
I start listening.Copy !req
311. Well, I feel like...Copy !req
312. Gotta take this.
Hello?Copy !req
313. Hello?
BoJack Horseman?Copy !req
314. We have some very delicate
pictures you mightCopy !req
315. have an interest in not getting
into the wrong hands.Copy !req
316. I am very happy with my currentCopy !req
317. long distance provider,
thank you.Copy !req
318. What?Copy !req
319. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm having lunch with my friend.Copy !req
320. But if you just listen...Copy !req
321. All right, gang, when Virgil Van
Cleef gets here, look alive.Copy !req
322. This could be Todd's big break,Copy !req
323. so clap really hard
and laugh at all the jokes,Copy !req
324. even if they're not funny,
but also, be careful,Copy !req
325. because a lot of things
you might think are jokesCopy !req
326. are not jokes,
so, you know, look out.Copy !req
327. - That was not a joke.
- That was not a real laugh.Copy !req
328. I hope you don't mind
I brought Wayne along.Copy !req
329. - Who's Wayne?
- I'm Wayne.Copy !req
330. I just wanted to make sure
he had everything he needsCopy !req
331. for the big BuzzFeed
cover story.Copy !req
332. BuzzFeed is a website.
There is no cover.Copy !req
333. Eh, "tomato,"tomato."Copy !req
334. It's "tomato,"to-mah-to."Copy !req
335. You say, "tomato,"to-mah-to,"Copy !req
336. I say, "tomato,"tomato."Copy !req
337. Oh, hey, Diane,
I got you something.Copy !req
338. Oh, plane tickets?Copy !req
339. Yep, to San Francisco.Copy !req
340. That's where the Arbus exhibit
is heading next.Copy !req
341. Oh, my God.
Thanks, Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
342. Gentlemen, dazzle me.Copy !req
343. What you're about to see
is rough, very rough.Copy !req
344. It's a vomit pass at what
might become a rock opera.Copy !req
345. Right now, it's set
mostly in space,Copy !req
346. but we're not married to that.Copy !req
347. Todd is neither a singer
nor a trained musician.Copy !req
348. In fact, he never even
graduated high school,Copy !req
349. he told me in confidence.Copy !req
350. Keep all that in mind
as you give it up for Todd.Copy !req
351. Okay, so we start in 1887Copy !req
352. with a young Emma Goldman.Copy !req
353. It needs
a third act showstopper.Copy !req
354. I had the same note.Copy !req
355. But in all, it's spellbinding.Copy !req
356. All right!Copy !req
357. Whoo!Copy !req
358. You know, I run a small
theater in North Hollywood.Copy !req
359. We were supposed to mount
a J.C. Superstar revivalCopy !req
360. next month, but of course,
Andrew Lloyd Webber has to beCopy !req
361. a real hot penis
about everything.Copy !req
362. Oh, Andy.
Fool me once, shame on you,Copy !req
363. but teach a man to fool me,Copy !req
364. and I'll be fooled
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
365. Anyway, could this show
be ready to debut in six weeks?Copy !req
366. Six weeks? Uh, damn.
Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
367. Marvelous! We'll schedule
an investor showcase posthaste.Copy !req
368. In the meantime, libations!Copy !req
369. Ah!Copy !req
370. - Popping, what?
- This is great.Copy !req
371. You know, just when you think
you have a person pegged,Copy !req
372. he can still find ways
to surprise you.Copy !req
373. Yeah, Todd really rose
to the occasion, didn't he?Copy !req
374. I was talking about you.Copy !req
375. Ah, well, it was nothing.Copy !req
376. Maybe the Zoe has
a little Zelda in him after all.Copy !req
377. I appreciate the sentiment,Copy !req
378. but I still think
that game is stupid.Copy !req
379. Hey, BoJack, do you realize
what this means?Copy !req
380. I mean, if this thing's a hit,
I could finally move out.Copy !req
381. Oh, uh, you're gonna move out?Copy !req
382. You won't have to yell,
"Hey, Todd, clean up your shit!"Copy !req
383. Or, "Todd, why haven't you
cleaned up your shit yet?"Copy !req
384. Or, "Todd, what was the name of
that guy from Perfect Strangers?Copy !req
385. Not Bronson Pinchot,
but the other one?"Copy !req
386. Good, that's great.
That's great and good.Copy !req
387. So good, so great.Copy !req
388. - Just great, and also good.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
389. And as you can see,
progress has been swift.Copy !req
390. For tomorrow's
investor showcase,Copy !req
391. we'll have choreography
and pyrotechnics for you.Copy !req
392. This is all just
happening so fast.Copy !req
393. I don't... I don't think
Todd is ready for this.Copy !req
394. Todd's not ready
or you're not ready?Copy !req
395. Don't make this about me.
I've seen what happensCopy !req
396. when baby birds get pushed
out of the nest too soon.Copy !req
397. It's not your fault.Copy !req
398. I thought he was ready.
He seemed ready.Copy !req
399. It's not... your... fault.Copy !req
400. You're right.
In these heady times,Copy !req
401. what Todd needs is an agent.
Ha! Ha!Copy !req
402. - I just need you to deliver...
- Hoo! Ha!Copy !req
403. - That third act showstopper...
- Ha!Copy !req
404. And then we'll be
fully financed!Copy !req
405. Todd can do it!
Todd can do anything!Copy !req
406. - Can I get your autograph?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
407. And another autograph,Copy !req
408. and initial here, here,
here, and here.Copy !req
409. - Right here?
- And the last four digitsCopy !req
410. - of your social.
- Okay.Copy !req
411. So I think the big
third act number Virgil wantsCopy !req
412. might be a big anthem that...Copy !req
413. Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, buddy,Copy !req
414. I'm not gonna let you start
on this until we stock upCopy !req
415. on snacks and Red Bull.Copy !req
416. I do get snacky.
You think of everything.Copy !req
417. 'Scuse me, young man.Copy !req
418. Can you hand me
that Ronnie Milsap cassingleCopy !req
419. in the 10-cent bin?Copy !req
420. Sure thing, lady.Copy !req
421. Oh, my God.
Decapathon VII?Copy !req
422. This just came out.Copy !req
423. Todd, put it down.Copy !req
424. Is this really only a dime?Copy !req
425. If it's in there,
that's the price.Copy !req
426. Todd, this is no time
for a relapse.Copy !req
427. Look, okay, I'll buy it now,
but I won't play itCopy !req
428. till after I've written
the new song.Copy !req
429. Todd, this is a bad idea!Copy !req
430. - Whoa!
- All sales are final.Copy !req
431. Okay, let's see here.Copy !req
432. I wonder if it still
smells the same.Copy !req
433. I assure you, it still smellsCopy !req
434. like cheap plastic
and child labor.Copy !req
435. Okay, here we go. Song time.Copy !req
436. Or should I just play
one game now,Copy !req
437. just to get
the creative juices flowing?Copy !req
438. We both know that if you
play that game tonight,Copy !req
439. you'll never leave this couch!Copy !req
440. Ah, no, you're right, of course.Copy !req
441. - Thank you.
- Good night.Copy !req
442. Come on, Decapathon, come on.Copy !req
443. Oh, come on, Decapathon.Copy !req
444. Oh.Copy !req
445. Wake up!
It's the morning!Copy !req
446. Damn it, Todd, the investor
showcase is in half an hour.Copy !req
447. - Did you work on the song?
- Huh?Copy !req
448. Pull yourself together, man!Copy !req
449. Ugh! Why did the water
have to come out of your mouth?Copy !req
450. Well, I'm awfully sorry
to have wasted your time.Copy !req
451. I don't think our man
is going to show.Copy !req
452. Wait!Copy !req
453. Good God, what's happened?Copy !req
454. He looks like he was
up all nightCopy !req
455. playing some sort of
videographic game.Copy !req
456. He's in no condition
to debut a song.Copy !req
457. Give the kid a chance,
Van Cleef.Copy !req
458. Rock opera?
More like "schlock flop-era."Copy !req
459. Ugh!Copy !req
460. Enough!Copy !req
461. Clearly, Van Cleef has shownCopy !req
462. a rare lapse in taste
and judgment.Copy !req
463. I apologize for wasting your
time with this talentless imp.Copy !req
464. Hey, Van Cleef,
Todd may not be readyCopy !req
465. for the high-flying world
of rock operaCopy !req
466. or the larger world
outside of my living room couch,Copy !req
467. but you know what?
He's a good friend.Copy !req
468. I don't see how that's relevant.Copy !req
469. No, of course you don't.
Maybe Todd's worse off today,Copy !req
470. but you're worse off
in the long run,Copy !req
471. because you're gonna die
alone and unloved,Copy !req
472. you pompous, affected asshole!Copy !req
473. Mon dieu!
Never have I ever!Copy !req
474. Hey, maybe don't
burn the bridge.Copy !req
475. I could still beg
for a second chance.Copy !req
476. Shut your mouth, Todd.Copy !req
477. And you shut yours, Van Cleef,
or I will buck it shut.Copy !req
478. Suck a dick, dumb shits!Copy !req
479. Oh, that damn video game.Copy !req
480. No, it's not
the video game's fault.Copy !req
481. I blew it.Copy !req
482. For a second,
I actually convinced myselfCopy !req
483. I was more than
just a worthless screw-up.Copy !req
484. Fool me once, fool me twice,
fool me chicken soup with rice.Copy !req
485. I guess there's a reason
they don't call itCopy !req
486. "the rock opera fun."Copy !req
487. They call it
"the rock opera business."Copy !req
488. Guess I won't be needingCopy !req
489. this piece of junk anymore.Copy !req
490. Hey, no.
Hold on to that.Copy !req
491. Why don't you just put it
in the living room closet?Copy !req
492. - Really?
- In fact, from now on,Copy !req
493. you can keep all your stuff
in the living room closet.Copy !req
494. Thanks, BoJack, for everything.Copy !req
495. This, I will get rid of.Copy !req
496. - What the...
- Don't look at those!Copy !req
497. - Those are private!
- Are these the notesCopy !req
498. you've been taking
on Mr. Peanutbutter?Copy !req
499. It's gibberish!Copy !req
500. Have you just been mashing keys
this whole time?Copy !req
501. It's a... it's a work
in progress.Copy !req
502. What's really going on here?Copy !req
503. Look, I've been following
you two aroundCopy !req
504. for the last couple weeks,
and I think it's pretty obviousCopy !req
505. to everyone that you shouldn't
be with Mr. Peanutbutter.Copy !req
506. You should be with me.Copy !req
507. No, I've dated you.Copy !req
508. Sure, you're smart
and sophisticated and cool,Copy !req
509. but you're also mean.Copy !req
510. What's your article
on Mr. Peanutbutter called?Copy !req
511. The working title is,
"Nine Jokes From the '90sCopy !req
512. We Haven't Stopped
Laughing at."Copy !req
513. - I knew it!
- Come on!Copy !req
514. Like you're not gonna
tear BoJack apart in your book.Copy !req
515. I'm not "tearing him apart."Copy !req
516. I'm writing a nuanced portrait
of a complicated man.Copy !req
517. Well, then, we might be
doing different things.Copy !req
518. Mr. Peanutbutter
is nice to me!Copy !req
519. He's kind and he's generous
and he's loyal.Copy !req
520. You know what your problem is?
You're trying to be a ZeldaCopy !req
521. but you're so obviously a Zoe.Copy !req
522. Ugh! Don't label me.
You don't know who I am.Copy !req
523. You can live your happy Zelda
life in this happy Zelda townCopy !req
524. and pretend you're
a happy Zelda,Copy !req
525. but I know you,
and this isn't you.Copy !req
526. People don't change, Diane,
not really.Copy !req
527. Mr. Peanutbutter's a Zelda.Copy !req
528. He's happy and he's carefreeCopy !req
529. and he's loving,
but you and me, we're Zoes.Copy !req
530. Yeah, I bought this earlier,
and I'd like to return it.Copy !req
531. I don't know where
the receipt went.Copy !req
532. I remember you.
You came in yesterday.Copy !req
533. No problem.Copy !req
534. We're Zoes, Diane.Copy !req
535. We're cynical and we're sad
and we're mean.Copy !req
536. Thanks for your help,
character actressCopy !req
537. Margo Martindale.Copy !req
538. I don't feel good
about what we did here, BoJack.Copy !req
539. I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
540. This never happened.Copy !req
541. There's a darkness
inside you,Copy !req
542. and you can bury it deep
in burritos as big as your head,Copy !req
543. but someday soon,
that darkness is gonna come out,Copy !req
544. and when it does,
I want you to call me.Copy !req
545. I like that guy.Copy !req
546. Ahh.Copy !req
547. Boxer versus raptor.Copy !req