1. I hope you didn't
need this jar.Copy !req
2. We're getting
into canning.Copy !req
3. What are you gonna can?Copy !req
4. Farts.
Oh!Copy !req
5. When you need one,
you don't have one.Copy !req
6. And when you have one,
you need more!Copy !req
7. Wash it when you're done!Copy !req
8. Wait. If we freeze the fart,Copy !req
9. it'll last forever!Copy !req
10. It'll be all that's leftCopy !req
11. of the human race
when the aliens show up.Copy !req
12. Ha-ha, aliens!Copy !req
13. We farted on you!Copy !req
14. Hey, let's go down and seeCopy !req
15. if we can make the walk-in
cold enough to make fartcicles.Copy !req
16. Guess who just went
to the doctorCopy !req
17. for his five-year
checkup?
Kirstie Alley.Copy !req
18. Me. Longest I've been
naked in three years.Copy !req
19. Well, what'd he say?Copy !req
20. Doctor stuff. You know,Copy !req
21. "Your cholesterol
is off the charts."Copy !req
22. "You absolutely must change your
eating habits,Copy !req
23. or you will die." Anyway,Copy !req
24. one cheeseburger
and fries, please.Copy !req
25. Maybe you should be
a little concerned, right?Copy !req
26. You eat a burger
pretty much every day.Copy !req
27. That-that can't be
good for you.
Yeah.Copy !req
28. Right. Don't you eat
your burgers every day?Copy !req
29. Not every day.
Yeah. We order
off-menu.Copy !req
30. It's how we
have fun, right?Copy !req
31. Kill me.Copy !req
32. Ha-ha, that's nice.Copy !req
33. Anyway, cheeseburger
and fries, please.Copy !req
34. You sure you want
to ignore your doctor, Teddy?Copy !req
35. I'm not ignoring him.
I'm just not listening to him.Copy !req
36. Bob's Burgers.
This is Teddy's doctor.Copy !req
37. Let's take a look
at Teddy's heart, shall we?Copy !req
38. Okay.Copy !req
39. Whoa.
That's strange.Copy !req
40. Oh, hey...
hey, that tickles!Copy !req
41. What are you doing?Copy !req
42. Whoa.
Look at that.Copy !req
43. Sick!
Can I bring that
to show-and-tell?Copy !req
44. See how disgustingly
unhealthy it is?Copy !req
45. And it gets bigger and bigger
with every burger you serve him.Copy !req
46. Uh...Copy !req
47. Doctor, stop shoving
burgers into his heart!Copy !req
48. Oh, but I'm not, Bob. You are.Copy !req
49. Mmm! Keep 'em
coming, Bob.Copy !req
50. Oh, God, no!
Keep 'em coming...Copy !req
51. No!
Keep 'em coming!Copy !req
52. It's gonna pop!
It's gonna blow!Copy !req
53. I'm sorry, Teddy!Copy !req
54. What? What happened?
What-what happened?Copy !req
55. I'm killing Teddy.Copy !req
56. What? You're gonna
kill Teddy?Copy !req
57. All right, car's gassed up.
That's good.Copy !req
58. Guess I could
home-school the kids 'cause...Copy !req
59. No, Lin, the burgers
are killing him.
What?Copy !req
60. The ones I give
him every day.Copy !req
61. Oh. Gotcha.Copy !req
62. Good God, Linda.
You had all that ready?Copy !req
63. What? I'm just
being supportive.
Good night.Copy !req
64. Lowering the temperature
a few degrees really works.Copy !req
65. I should have worn
my higher socks.Copy !req
66. You guys call them pants.Copy !req
67. Is it frozen?Copy !req
68. Sorry, kids,
no fartsicles.Copy !req
69. Just disappoint-sicles.Copy !req
70. Well, this
experiment was a bust.Copy !req
71. Aah! Stupid patch of ice!Copy !req
72. Sorry, you're not stupid.
You're just slippery.Copy !req
73. Hold on.Copy !req
74. This stupid patch of ice
might actually be a genius.Copy !req
75. And tomorrow, the walk-in
goes from stinky to rinky.Copy !req
76. Feels weird cooking
a veggie burger.Copy !req
77. Plus, he's gonna know
it's not a hamburger.Copy !req
78. Nah, nah, Teddy'll eat whatever
you put in front of him.Copy !req
79. Remember when he
ate that receipt?Copy !req
80. Well, I hope you're right.Copy !req
81. This tastes kind of funny.Copy !req
82. You don't need
to look at it.
Just eat it.Copy !req
83. It tastes burger-ish,
but not good.Copy !req
84. Is that what you were going for?Copy !req
85. It's a...
veggie burger.Copy !req
86. It's a what?
A veggie burger?Copy !req
87. Listen...
Agh! Ugh!Copy !req
88. Why would you do that? Oh!Copy !req
89. Why? Oh!
Teddy...Copy !req
90. Now I can't get the taste out
of my mouth.Copy !req
91. Ugh!
Look, I can't
in good conscienceCopy !req
92. serve you a burger
every day.Copy !req
93. I don't see you shoving a veggie
burger down Mort's throat,Copy !req
94. and he eats a burger every day.Copy !req
95. That's not true.
I often get the soup.Copy !req
96. What? You do? Soup?
Take it easy, Teddy.Copy !req
97. Wait, Teddy, you eat
a burger every day?Copy !req
98. Of course I do!
That's messed up.Copy !req
99. You eat a lot of burgers,
Mike, the mailman.Copy !req
100. Yeah, but I walk nine miles
a day. Look at my calves.Copy !req
101. Wait. Don't look at my calves.
They're not that impressive.Copy !req
102. Okay, here's
the deal, Teddy.Copy !req
103. I'll-I'll make you soup
or salad,Copy !req
104. but I don't think I can
serve you my burgers anymore.Copy !req
105. You cutting me off, Bobby?Copy !req
106. I guess I am.Copy !req
107. You're cutting me off?Copy !req
108. Is this some kind
of sick joke?Copy !req
109. I think it's for
your own good.Copy !req
110. You stay the hell
out of this, Mort!Copy !req
111. Bob, if you take
your burgers from me,Copy !req
112. I will murder you
and your mouthy wife.Copy !req
113. What?
Huh?
I'm sorry!Copy !req
114. I don't know what I'm saying.Copy !req
115. I'll kill you!
Give me a burger!Copy !req
116. Teddy!
Calm... down.Copy !req
117. You calm down!Copy !req
118. Oh, my God.Copy !req
119. Whoa.
I will replace that.Copy !req
120. I don't want to be alive.
I don't want to be alive!Copy !req
121. He's handling
this well.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
122. Fire! There's a fire. Fire!Copy !req
123. No, Lin, it's
the alarm clock.Copy !req
124. What? Snooze it.Copy !req
125. Oh, you know the
buttons don't work.Copy !req
126. I have to unplug it.Copy !req
127. Someone unplug the alarm clock!Copy !req
128. Thank you.Copy !req
129. Where are you going
so early?Copy !req
130. I told Teddy
I'd go jogging with him.Copy !req
131. He wants to prove to me
that he's healthy enoughCopy !req
132. to be un-cut-off
from our burgers.Copy !req
133. Why are you running
if you don't want to?Copy !req
134. Just tell your teacher
you have sciatica.Copy !req
135. I think it's sweet
you're helping your best friend.Copy !req
136. Teddy's not my best friend.
Teddy thinks
you're best friends.Copy !req
137. He does?
Sure.
Yup.Copy !req
138. Wait. Who's your
best friend then?Copy !req
139. Mm... probably
Walter Russo.Copy !req
140. Walter Russo?Copy !req
141. When was the last time
you talked to Walter Russo?Copy !req
142. I don't know, like,
six years ago.Copy !req
143. Bob, you see Teddy
every day.Copy !req
144. Yeah, but Teddy's not
my best friend, Lin.Copy !req
145. He's my best customer.Copy !req
146. There's a big difference.Copy !req
147. And I really value
that 30 inchesCopy !req
148. of Formica that's between us.Copy !req
149. Are you talking about
your dingdong, Daddy? Brag.Copy !req
150. Yeah, well, off to take
my best customer joggingCopy !req
151. so his heart
doesn't explode.Copy !req
152. All right, have fun.Copy !req
153. Are you all in
bed with Mom?Copy !req
154. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
155. Coming up,
coming up.Copy !req
156. Oh, our little
seal platform.Copy !req
157. What is that?Copy !req
158. My alarm clock.
Got to go.Copy !req
159. Oh! Uh, we gotta goCopy !req
160. check on... nothing!Copy !req
161. Oh, yeah, maybe
the nothing's ready!Copy !req
162. Aw.Copy !req
163. It's... perfect.Copy !req
164. Huh? Look how
high my knees are!Copy !req
165. I'm in great shape.Copy !req
166. Great enough
for one burger?Copy !req
167. I don't think so, Teddy.
Oh.Copy !req
168. Should we call the cops?Copy !req
169. Some kind of
early morning gang brawl?Copy !req
170. Wait... I-I think
they're fake fighting.Copy !req
171. Excuse me. What-what's
going on over there?Copy !req
172. It's called stuntman boot camp.Copy !req
173. I'm in the best shape
of my life.Copy !req
174. You're a stuntman?
No. I just train like one.Copy !req
175. You should check it out.Copy !req
176. Whoa.Copy !req
177. Grenade!Copy !req
178. And another
grenade!Copy !req
179. Got to admit, that
looks kind of cool.Copy !req
180. Sort of cool.Copy !req
181. Well, that guy
doesn't look cool.Copy !req
182. All right, great
"grenadies," everybody.Copy !req
183. Now, don't forget to
sign up for the intensive,Copy !req
184. weekend-long, stuntman
boot camp in the woods.Copy !req
185. Where you might learn
how to do this.Copy !req
186. Go ahead.
Now this is actually
a ten-story burning building,Copy !req
187. and I'm on fire.Copy !req
188. Ow! On fire!
Oh, wow.Copy !req
189. I'm on fire!
I'm on fire!
So much fire!Copy !req
190. Falling and rolling
like you're on fireCopy !req
191. burns as many calories
as running, people.Copy !req
192. That is why, pound for pound,Copy !req
193. stuntmen are the greatest
athletes in the world.Copy !req
194. Up top!Copy !req
195. Huh. I thought
it was golfers.Copy !req
196. It's not golfers?Copy !req
197. Holy frozen nips!Copy !req
198. Look at this place!Copy !req
199. It's so slippery!Copy !req
200. Yeah, we like it.Copy !req
201. It's all right, I guess.Copy !req
202. So, what do you
do down here?Copy !req
203. Well, we've experimented
with lots of stuff.
We triedCopy !req
204. curling.
We tried lyingCopy !req
205. on the ice.
That was refreshing.Copy !req
206. Some of us didn't like it
as much as others,Copy !req
207. but we respect their opinions.Copy !req
208. And ice fishing.Copy !req
209. We did not get a bite.Copy !req
210. In the end, the most
fun thing to do is this.Copy !req
211. Whoa!Copy !req
212. So... pushing?Copy !req
213. Ice pushing.Copy !req
214. It all makes sense!Copy !req
215. Hi, Andy. Hi, Ollie.Copy !req
216. Hi, Louise and Gene
and Tina's mom!Copy !req
217. Louise said to say
we're meetingCopy !req
218. in the basement
for homework club.Copy !req
219. Okay. Have fun.Copy !req
220. Homework club?Copy !req
221. Oh, my God, they're doing drugs
to each other!Copy !req
222. Push me till
I feel something, Zeke!Copy !req
223. Well, well, well.Copy !req
224. Mom! Hey, uh, uh, we were
just all getting...Copy !req
225. a-a head of...
Yeah?Copy !req
226. A head of lettuce.
Mom, you didn't happen
to look down, did you?Copy !req
227. As a matter of fact, I'm looking
down right now, Tina.Copy !req
228. And... it's amazing!Copy !req
229. Oh, God, look at it shimmer!Copy !req
230. It's frozen water!Copy !req
231. They call it "ice," and
it's gonna change the world!Copy !req
232. If you're gonna be pushing
each other on the ice like this,Copy !req
233. you need to be wearing...
Helmets.
I know.Copy !req
234. I've been a broken
record about it.Copy !req
235. No! Costumes!Copy !req
236. Glitzy ones
with sequins!Copy !req
237. I want to be the bad boy of
ice pushing like Elvis Stojko!Copy !req
238. And I want to be the bad boy
of public radio,Copy !req
239. like Elvis Mitchell!Copy !req
240. I'll go get the costumes. Ooh,
and don't tell your father.Copy !req
241. We won't if you won't!
Got to love that woman.Copy !req
242. Hey, Lin.
Whoa!Copy !req
243. Where-where...
where are you going?
What?Copy !req
244. What...?
What? Nowhere.
What's this stuff?Copy !req
245. What?
What are we doing?
We're making burgers?Copy !req
246. Let's do it.
Let's go.Copy !req
247. What's this?
This is to-go?Copy !req
248. Hey, buddy, catch!
I-I got this.
Geez, Lin.Copy !req
249. Here you go.Copy !req
250. Hey, there,
Teddy.Copy !req
251. One veggie burger, please.Copy !req
252. I just got to use
the restroom real quick.Copy !req
253. Hmm. You ever see Teddy
with a briefcase before?Copy !req
254. Only in that one play.Copy !req
255. I forgot about that.Copy !req
256. Put the coffee down!Copy !req
257. Coffee is
for closers only!Copy !req
258. Teddy, what are
you doing in there?Copy !req
259. Washing my hands
or something.Copy !req
260. I can hear you chewing.
You're chewing a burger.Copy !req
261. Did you get that guy
to buy you a burger?Copy !req
262. No, I'm just
checking the bathroomCopy !req
263. to see that it's not leaking.Copy !req
264. He's eating!
Teddy, stop eating.Copy !req
265. You don't know
how hard this is for me.Copy !req
266. I paid that guy $300
to buy me this burger.Copy !req
267. Come on, Teddy,
you owe it to yourself.Copy !req
268. No, I don't.
Okay. Well, then do it for me.Copy !req
269. Ah, you're just helping me
because you feel guilty.Copy !req
270. That's not why.Copy !req
271. Yeah, it is.
Admit it, Bobby.Copy !req
272. No, it's not.
Admit it!Copy !req
273. Teddy, it's because...
you're my friend.Copy !req
274. Your best friend!
I didn't say...Copy !req
275. Besties.
Linda.Copy !req
276. Really, Bob?
We're best friends?Copy !req
277. Linda, thank you.Copy !req
278. You son of a bitch.
Get in here, bestie.Copy !req
279. Oh. Okay.
You got it.Copy !req
280. You got it.
Yeah.Copy !req
281. Ah, hockey.Copy !req
282. Well, I-I guess it's time
to hit the hay, huh?Copy !req
283. Bup-bup-bup-bup,
hold on, hold on.
What? What?Copy !req
284. I got to take this. Hello?Copy !req
285. Really? We got in?Copy !req
286. Ha, ha! How about that.Copy !req
287. Okay, hey, we'll see you
in the morning.Copy !req
288. Tremendous news!Copy !req
289. Remember how you said that
stuntman boot camp was cool?Copy !req
290. You... didn't sign us up
for that, did you?Copy !req
291. Better! I signed us up
for the intensive weekendCopy !req
292. boot camp retreat
in the woods!Copy !req
293. What? You did?
Yup, the whole weekend.Copy !req
294. So I'd watch the restaurant,
the walk-in,Copy !req
295. everything in the walk-in,
and you'd be gone?Copy !req
296. Huh?
Ah, nothing.Copy !req
297. And it's two to a cabin, so you
and me will be roomie-caboomies!Copy !req
298. I don't know, Teddy.
That, um,Copy !req
299. doesn't sound like
something I want to do.Copy !req
300. What? You've always wanted
to do stunts in the woods.Copy !req
301. Yeah. Get the
hell out of here!Copy !req
302. Yeah, go for it, Dad.
Do it!Copy !req
303. Though you've already pulled off
the toughest stunt of all—Copy !req
304. raising three
great kids.
Yeah.Copy !req
305. Come on, Bobby.
My treat!Copy !req
306. Okay, I'll go.
That's, um...Copy !req
307. Thanks.
Aw, it's nothin'.
Well, not nothin'.Copy !req
308. I won't have electricity
for three months.Copy !req
309. But yay!Copy !req
310. There's gonna be a lot
of exercise this weekend.Copy !req
311. So take it easy, okay?Copy !req
312. You're not
in the best shape, you know.
I know, best buddy.Copy !req
313. Okay. Now I need everybody
to breath out stress...
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
314. breath in stunts.
Stunts.Copy !req
315. Congratulations, you've now
got stunts inside of you.Copy !req
316. Now we're gonna get
cracking and roll downCopy !req
317. these stairs here.
So everybody knowsCopy !req
318. that falling down
a flight of stairsCopy !req
319. is the same as doing
100 sit-ups.
Really? We're doing this?Copy !req
320. You're a mid-level drug dealer
in an apartment stairwell.Copy !req
321. Cameras are rolling.
Bang! You've been shot.
Uh...Copy !req
322. Action! Action, man!
Go! You got to go!Copy !req
323. Go! This is a go.
That's you, Bobby.Copy !req
324. That was a go.
Go, go, go
go, go...!Copy !req
325. What? Wait a... Aah!Copy !req
326. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
327. Ow.
Wow! That was terrible!Copy !req
328. Wait, have you done any of
your morning melees in the park?Copy !req
329. No!
Oh!Copy !req
330. Well, then you could
really get hurt.Copy !req
331. Welcome to the Freezer-Dome!Copy !req
332. Whoever wins this whole shebang
takes this baby home!Copy !req
333. Ooh.
It's beautiful.Copy !req
334. Aw. You all look so cute.Copy !req
335. Everyone got their pillows?Copy !req
336. Everyone safe?
Yes.Copy !req
337. Now let's rumble! If your butt
touches ice, you're dead.Copy !req
338. Really?
No. No, you're just out, honey.Copy !req
339. Two kids enter, one kid leaves!Copy !req
340. Two kids enter, one kid leaves!Copy !req
341. First up,
Rudy versus Louise! Go!Copy !req
342. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why am I going against Rudy?Copy !req
343. He's a pushover, a cupcake.Copy !req
344. What? I'm tough.Copy !req
345. Rudy, I'm in your P.E. class.Copy !req
346. I was there
for the kickball incident.Copy !req
347. That was humbling.
Yeah.Copy !req
348. Hey, it's called weight class,
cool breeze.Copy !req
349. Deal with it. You can't hang
with the big boys, anyway.Copy !req
350. Oh, I can't hang
with the big boys?Copy !req
351. No, I'm gonna hang
with the big boys.Copy !req
352. You'll see.Copy !req
353. Look at me. Ding!Copy !req
354. Oh.
All right,
take care, buddy.Copy !req
355. Next!Copy !req
356. That's Mama's girl!Copy !req
357. This is sugar
glass, everyone.Copy !req
358. Fights often end with someone
flying through a window.Copy !req
359. It's a staple
in action movies.Copy !req
360. And an amazing cardio workout,
which you can incorporateCopy !req
361. into your daily routine.
My grandmother does it.Copy !req
362. Now, Teddy, you're
looking for the guy who
kidnapped your daughter.Copy !req
363. Bob, you're the
guy who kidnappedCopy !req
364. his daughter.
Ooh.Copy !req
365. You are a horrible person.Copy !req
366. Teddy wants revenge. Go!Copy !req
367. Wait, why am I the person
who's...Copy !req
368. No!Copy !req
369. Where's my daughter, punk?Copy !req
370. Get... Teddy, get off.Copy !req
371. Get off!Copy !req
372. Today, one of you will advanceCopy !req
373. to the Freezer-Dome
championship.Copy !req
374. The other one will
leave in shame.Copy !req
375. But all the losers get stickers.Copy !req
376. Stickers of shame!Copy !req
377. Now fight! Clank-clank!Copy !req
378. You're going down, Zeke.Copy !req
379. Good luck
with my low center of gravity.Copy !req
380. I'm practically unpushoverable.Copy !req
381. We'll see about that.Copy !req
382. Come on, girl!Copy !req
383. I told youCopy !req
384. you're going...Copy !req
385. down.Copy !req
386. Yeah! I did it! I pushed a girlCopy !req
387. and not because I like her
and didn't know how to show it!Copy !req
388. Oh. Sorry, sweetie.Copy !req
389. You got to get off the ice.
Go on, get off.Copy !req
390. Louise versus Gene!Copy !req
391. Easy win, Gene.Copy !req
392. I'll be waiting for you
in the finals.Copy !req
393. Well, if he shows up
to the finals and looks like me,Copy !req
394. that's because
it's me, Zeke!Copy !req
395. I'm Mommy to both of you,Copy !req
396. but let's see who wants
Mommy's love more. Ding!Copy !req
397. I want Mom's love pretty bad,
so look out.Copy !req
398. Oh, yeah?
How 'bout a little of this?Copy !req
399. Well, you're sturdier
than I thought.Copy !req
400. Sturdy and purdy.Copy !req
401. Hold on, hold on.
I got something in my eye.Copy !req
402. Man, it's really
in there.Copy !req
403. Gene, have a seat.
This could take a while.Copy !req
404. No problem.
You fell for it!Copy !req
405. Aw!
She beat you fair and square,Copy !req
406. unfairly,
here in the Freezer-Dome!Copy !req
407. She advances
to the finals tomorrow!Copy !req
408. I'm coming for you, Zeke!Copy !req
409. Bring it on!Copy !req
410. You've got to
be kidding me.Copy !req
411. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
412. Wake up, stuntboys!Copy !req
413. I'm sorry that was weird—
I don't have a bugle.Copy !req
414. It can't be morning.
No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
415. Big day today! You're gonna
get chased by robots,Copy !req
416. get set on fire— it literally
burns the calories right off.Copy !req
417. Freeze, human.Copy !req
418. We have
apprehended you.Copy !req
419. Beep beep. All right,
time-out, time-out, time-out.
What is going on here?Copy !req
420. Oh, my God.
You don't have the mental
fortitude of someone that wantsCopy !req
421. to train to not be
an actual stuntman.Copy !req
422. It's like you don't
even want to be here.Copy !req
423. Because I don't!
What?Copy !req
424. Look, guys, I only came here
as a workout buddyCopy !req
425. for my friend Teddy
because I felt guilty.Copy !req
426. I mean, he's not even my friend.Copy !req
427. What are your words
even meaning?Copy !req
428. Listen, between you and me,Copy !req
429. I had to say
he was my best friendCopy !req
430. so he'd get healthy and not eat
my burgers all the time.Copy !req
431. Oh, I sell burgers.Copy !req
432. So he's really my best customer,Copy !req
433. 'cause all he does
is shove burgers in his mouth.Copy !req
434. But he's not my best friend.Copy !req
435. Oh.Copy !req
436. Oh, my God.
Hey, Teddy.Copy !req
437. Hey.
So, uh, you
just heardCopy !req
438. all that. And
you're on fire.Copy !req
439. Those words hurt more
than that fire.Copy !req
440. Yeah, he's gonna be
scarred inside and outside.Copy !req
441. And o... We should put...
Put him out— he's scarring.
We should put him out.Copy !req
442. He's starting to scar.
Yeah.Copy !req
443. How could you lie
to me like that?Copy !req
444. Who says they're someone's
best friend when they're not?Copy !req
445. I lied because I
care about you.Copy !req
446. Pull over here. Here!
Stop the car, Bob!Copy !req
447. You're not the only guy
that serves burgers.Copy !req
448. I'm gonna be a regular
at Dusty's Feedbag now, friend.Copy !req
449. Come on,
Teddy, d...
Oh,Copy !req
450. and one more thing—
three years ago,Copy !req
451. you forgot a tomato on my burger
and I said nothing— nothing!Copy !req
452. Teddy, don't go in there!
You don't tell me
what to do!Copy !req
453. Oh, wait, I guess
this entrance isn't open.Copy !req
454. It's around the back.Copy !req
455. Then just come
back here.
You... Keep driving!Copy !req
456. Is it around the side or...
Where am I? Something.Copy !req
457. It's right there in the
front, the huge entrance.
I think this door goes...Copy !req
458. Get out of here, Bob!
I don't need your help!Copy !req
459. Boys and girls, girls and boys,Copy !req
460. future adults of America,Copy !req
461. it's time for the most important
thing in the world...Copy !req
462. the Freezer-Dome finals!Copy !req
463. Only one of you will go home
with this!Copy !req
464. I want that belt.
And I'm not gonna fallCopy !req
465. for your little tricks, girl.Copy !req
466. I wouldn't try
to trick you, Zeke.Copy !req
467. Ding!
Ow! Oh, wait, wait, wait!
I got something in my eye.Copy !req
468. Hold on, hold on.Copy !req
469. All right, I guess
I'll just take a seat here,Copy !req
470. bend my little knees down...
Ha! Just kidding!Copy !req
471. Hey, hey, you had to try. You
know why? 'Cause you're tiny!Copy !req
472. Ah!Copy !req
473. You're
home early.Copy !req
474. What, did you
pull a hammy?Copy !req
475. No. Long story.
Where's Linda?Copy !req
476. Downstairs, I think.
Mike, what are you doing?Copy !req
477. That's weird.
I'm normally over there.Copy !req
478. I thought you were with Teddy.Copy !req
479. Uh, he's at Dusty's Feedbag,Copy !req
480. his new favorite restaurant.Copy !req
481. Oh, that's not good.
Why?Copy !req
482. You haven't heard
of the Belt Buckle Belly Buster?Copy !req
483. They serve that there.Copy !req
484. Belt Buckle Belly Buster?Copy !req
485. It's a five-pound burger.Copy !req
486. If you eat the whole thing
in a half hour,Copy !req
487. it's free, and you get
your picture on the wall.Copy !req
488. Oh, no, no.
No, no, no, no. Teddy!Copy !req
489. So you said it's cool
to have more ice cream?Copy !req
490. You're gonna get destroyed.Copy !req
491. Throw in the towel!
Never.Copy !req
492. Never, never, never!Copy !req
493. Finish her!Copy !req
494. Why you putting up a fight,
you tiny sweet angel?Copy !req
495. Take your medicine, girl.
Just go down.Copy !req
496. I'm s...
I'm still totally gonna win,Copy !req
497. so shut your mouth.Copy !req
498. You might have beaten me,
Louise,Copy !req
499. but blood is thicker than ice.
But not actually.Copy !req
500. Time to unleash the beast.Copy !req
501. Now's your chance!Copy !req
502. Oh, God.Copy !req
503. Oh, that's what killed
the dinosaurs.Copy !req
504. That's awful. Ooh.Copy !req
505. Zeke is down!
Louise, you win!Copy !req
506. Yeah!Copy !req
507. Teddy!
Bob.Copy !req
508. You didn't order the Belt Buckle
Belly Buster, did you?Copy !req
509. Maybe I did,
maybe I didn't.Copy !req
510. But I did.
Excuse me.
Uh, are you Dusty?Copy !req
511. Dusty?
Uh, no. There's no Dusty.Copy !req
512. Uh, this is a chain, pal.
I'm Kevin. I'm the manager.Copy !req
513. Listen, Kevin, you can't serve
this guy your five-pound burger.Copy !req
514. Oh, okay, making a note.Copy !req
515. I can't serve someone a burger
in my own restaurant.Copy !req
516. Look, Teddy is... Well...Copy !req
517. He has the biggest heart
of anyone I know.Copy !req
518. Both because
he's incredibly sweetCopy !req
519. but also
because it's fullCopy !req
520. of cholesterol.
Which is why you can't serve himCopy !req
521. that huge burger—
he-he might not survive it.Copy !req
522. Well, you know what?
Big boy paid for it,Copy !req
523. so order up!Copy !req
524. Good God,
look at that thing.
Oh.Copy !req
525. Let me at it!
You're not giving him
that burger.Copy !req
526. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on,
let that Belly Buster through.Copy !req
527. Please take the burger back
to the kitchen, ma'am.Copy !req
528. It is so weird that you think
you work here. I just...Copy !req
529. Damn it, I don't remember
hiring a fat Burt Reynolds.Copy !req
530. Look, this burger
is not going anywhere.Copy !req
531. This is just
fantastic.Copy !req
532. I'm gonna get to throw fat Burt
Reynolds out of my restaurant!Copy !req
533. Oh, yeah?
Well, I can get tough, too.Copy !req
534. And I'm staying.
Guys, come on.
Don't fight over me.Copy !req
535. Wait, is that what's happening?Copy !req
536. Bad news for you, Kevin.
I've just been throughCopy !req
537. a bunch of kick-ass training,
so if you thinkCopy !req
538. you can just...
Oh, no...Copy !req
539. Oh, yeah? Well, I hope you got
trained to get your ass kicked!Copy !req
540. Actually, I did! Oh, God!Copy !req
541. Here comes the glass!Copy !req
542. Thanks for coming!Copy !req
543. Are you okay, Bobby?Copy !req
544. Real glass hurts so bad.Copy !req
545. Am I bleeding?Copy !req
546. Not, like, too much.Copy !req
547. And the concrete wasn't padded.Copy !req
548. It was so hard
when-when I landed on it.Copy !req
549. Before you pass out,
that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.Copy !req
550. I have so much glass in myself.
I'll get you out of here, buddy.Copy !req
551. All right, let's go
to the hospital, Teddy.Copy !req
552. No, Bob. Let's go home.Copy !req
553. No. No, we're gonna go
to a hospital...
Shh, shh, shh.Copy !req
554. Home it is, Bob.Copy !req
555. Here we go, almost home.Copy !req
556. I'll just see if
someone else can take me.Copy !req
557. Hey, even though
I'm not your best friend,Copy !req
558. I really appreciate
what you did.Copy !req
559. Look, I-I'm sorry I said
you're not my best friend.Copy !req
560. Because you are.
I am?Copy !req
561. Yeah, I mean, it depends
on how you define it.Copy !req
562. You technically
are my best friend.Copy !req
563. But, I mean... I might meet...
Bup, bup, bup— stop
right there, Bobby.Copy !req
564. But, I mean,
I don't know who...
Yeah. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.Copy !req
565. Eventually I...
Enough. Can I carry you
across the threshold?Copy !req
566. All right.Copy !req
567. Ow.
Watch your head. Sorry.Copy !req
568. Aw, my little beat-up Bobby.Copy !req
569. Where's that belt from?
Where's all the food?Copy !req
570. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shush.
Is the ice helping?Copy !req
571. Pretty
refreshing, right?
Yes, Tina.Copy !req
572. How 'bout this?
Is this helping?Copy !req
573. Thanks, Teddy.
Yes, it's good.Copy !req
574. How 'bout some smelling salts?
Oh, God. Come on!Copy !req
575. Oh, you come on.Copy !req
576. That fart's a winner
and you know it!Copy !req
577. All right,
let me smell it again.Copy !req
578. Yeah, you're right.Copy !req