1. Two days until
trick-or-treating?Copy !req
2. What am I supposed to eat
until then? Other food?Copy !req
3. I know. Like what? Like, bread?
I don't knowCopy !req
4. if I'm gonna go trick-or-
treating this year, guys.Copy !req
5. All the bigger kids are hanging
out at the old cemetery.Copy !req
6. Hi, Jimmy Jr. Are you going
to the cemetery on Halloween?Copy !req
7. Follow-up question: what time
were you planning on going?Copy !req
8. 'Cause I'm planning on going
at that time, too.Copy !req
9. I'm going when all
the other kids are going.Copy !req
10. Oh, cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.Copy !req
11. But why does everybody want
to go to a stupid cemeteryCopy !req
12. on a day when you can knock
on people's doorsCopy !req
13. and they literally
hand you free candy?Copy !req
14. And then you kiss them
on both cheeks!Copy !req
15. So, just to nail
this thing down,Copy !req
16. we're going
to the cemetery together?Copy !req
17. Geez, Tina. Everybody's
going at the same time.Copy !req
18. We're not going together.
It's a group activity.Copy !req
19. Kids go and break
into the mausoleum.Copy !req
20. It's a rite of passage!Copy !req
21. Mm-hmm. So you think
that's, like, 8:30?Copy !req
22. Maybe touch base around 8:15?Copy !req
23. I'll just see
you there if I see you.Copy !req
24. God, he was all over you.Copy !req
25. This year I got the bats
that are smiling.Copy !req
26. It's more realistic.Copy !req
27. Why is it more realistic?Copy !req
28. 'Cause they're happy.Copy !req
29. It's their favorite holiday.Copy !req
30. They love it.
Hi, I'm
the exterminator.Copy !req
31. Oh, hi. From Hugs Not Bugs,
the sensitive bug killers.Copy !req
32. Well, the name is misleading.Copy !req
33. We actually use
a highly toxic chemical.Copy !req
34. It hugs them to death,
really slowly.Copy !req
35. They suffer. I'm Marcus.Copy !req
36. Uh, they showed up
the other day.Copy !req
37. I-I don't know
what they are.Copy !req
38. They're weird.Copy !req
39. Uh, everything okay?Copy !req
40. This isn't good.Copy !req
41. What-what isn't good?Copy !req
42. This is very bad.Copy !req
43. What is very bad?Copy !req
44. This is really creeping me out.Copy !req
45. You're creeping me out.
What-What's going on here?Copy !req
46. Bobby! Is he
squirting poison?Copy !req
47. The kids just got home
and they want to watch.Copy !req
48. There is definitely
an otherworldly presenceCopy !req
49. in this basement.Copy !req
50. A what?
A presence.Copy !req
51. Wait, are you saying "presence"?Copy !req
52. A presence?
Presents?Copy !req
53. I always thought there
should be Halloween presents!Copy !req
54. No, not presents. A presence.Copy !req
55. A ghost. There's a ghost
in this basement.Copy !req
56. Yes!
What?
A ghost?Copy !req
57. Who said "ghost"?
We have a ghost?Copy !req
58. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.Copy !req
59. You need to catch it
and get rid of it.Copy !req
60. Like salmon.Copy !req
61. Whoa, whoa... Marcus.
Hi. Hello.Copy !req
62. Uh, question. Did you say we
have to catch the presence?Copy !req
63. Yes.
How does one do that?Copy !req
64. First, you got to make contact
with the ghost.Copy !req
65. Then you got to try to get it
into a vessel.Copy !req
66. A vessel?
Yeah, like a bottle. Or a box.Copy !req
67. Oh, a vessel.
Cool.Copy !req
68. Can you please get rid
of the bugs first?Copy !req
69. Dad! So we get it into
the box. And then what?Copy !req
70. Throw away the box
in the trash.Copy !req
71. Great. Now on to the bugs.Copy !req
72. Can you just squirt them
with your thing now?Copy !req
73. No way. Those are probably
phantasmal bugsCopy !req
74. attracted to
the spirit world.Copy !req
75. Sure, sure.
Phantasmal bugs.Copy !req
76. I'm not going down there.
I got to go.Copy !req
77. You cannot be
a real exterminator.Copy !req
78. I'm licensed
and I'm running away.Copy !req
79. Bye, Marcus!
Bye.Copy !req
80. Uh, I'm not paying you
for this!Copy !req
81. I'll get the Ouija board!
And a box!Copy !req
82. And candles!
And some smooth jazz.Copy !req
83. Well, the restaurant
is closed. Thank you so muchCopy !req
84. for not helping out
at all tonight.
You're welcome.Copy !req
85. I called another exterminator,
not that you care.Copy !req
86. So, yeah, just go ahead, do
your capture-the-ghost séance.Copy !req
87. Mm-hmm.
All right,Copy !req
88. so here's our vessel.Copy !req
89. I brought my Easy
Breezy shoe box.Copy !req
90. It used to hold the world's
most comfortable heels.Copy !req
91. Now it's gonna hold a ghost.Copy !req
92. What a life
this box has had.Copy !req
93. Okay. Here we go.Copy !req
94. We're gonna make contact
with the other side.Copy !req
95. I just need one more sip
of my séance wine. Yep.Copy !req
96. If you make contact,
can you ask the ghostCopy !req
97. if it's any good with a mop?Copy !req
98. Ha-ha. Very funny.
Open the door.Copy !req
99. Attention, ghost.Copy !req
100. We are gathered here todayCopy !req
101. to help you cross over
into this box.Copy !req
102. Kids, put your hands
on the thingy.Copy !req
103. Question one: is there a spirit
here in this basement?Copy !req
104. It's moving!Copy !req
105. Great.Copy !req
106. They're in here, too.Copy !req
107. Hey, guess what.Copy !req
108. You're not phantasmal.Copy !req
109. You're phan-dumb.Copy !req
110. Oh, my God!Copy !req
111. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah! Ooh...Copy !req
112. What is your name?Copy !req
113. What's your name, baby?
Stop moving it, Louise.Copy !req
114. I know it's you.
I'm not moving it.
It's Gene.Copy !req
115. It's not me.
Ooh! Look,
it's spelling something out.Copy !req
116. J...Copy !req
117. E...Copy !req
118. F...Copy !req
119. F.Copy !req
120. Jeff. I just got chills.Copy !req
121. How old are
you, Jeff?Copy !req
122. One. Three.Copy !req
123. So the ghost is a
13-year-old boy.Copy !req
124. That's interesting.
To all of us.Copy !req
125. Jeff, do you, uh, want
to check out the insideCopy !req
126. of this totally normal
shoe box?Copy !req
127. I think he's in
the box! Put the lid on it!Copy !req
128. Got it.
Hello?Copy !req
129. Did anybody hear
me screaming?Copy !req
130. There was a crazy amount of
bugs flying at my face.Copy !req
131. Bobby, calm down.Copy !req
132. We caught the ghost.
His name is Jeff.Copy !req
133. Everything is fine.Copy !req
134. Everything is
not fine, Lin.Copy !req
135. We have a horrible
bug problem in there,Copy !req
136. and I'm sick of all
this ghost stuff.Copy !req
137. Ghost stuff is over.Copy !req
138. Now we do the ceremonial
throwing it away in the trash.Copy !req
139. No, wait! Don't!Copy !req
140. You can't just throw Jeff out.Copy !req
141. Ghosts were people, too.Copy !req
142. What if it's Jeff Bridges?
Imagine the money.Copy !req
143. Tina, what are
you doing?Copy !req
144. We're keeping Jeff.Copy !req
145. You can keep him, Tina,
but you haveCopy !req
146. to empty his box every night!Copy !req
147. So, Jeff, how's your first day
at school going?Copy !req
148. Which is worse: purgatory
or the smell in Tina's locker?Copy !req
149. It doesn't smell anymore,
Louise; I got rid of the yogurt.Copy !req
150. Why do you guys have
an Easy Breezy's shoe box?Copy !req
151. I didn't know it was Take
Your Mom's Shoes to School Day.Copy !req
152. There aren't shoes in
this box. It's a ghost.
Mm.Copy !req
153. You're totally lying. And lying
is bad for your skin, thank you.Copy !req
154. Why is everyone looking
at a box? What am I missing?Copy !req
155. I'm bored.
Somebody explain it to me quick!Copy !req
156. It's a ghost.
His name is Jeff.Copy !req
157. It's a strong
Christian name.Copy !req
158. You have a ghost, Tina?
Oh. Hi, Jimmy Jr.Copy !req
159. This is Jeff.
He's a ghost, he's a boy,Copy !req
160. and we've been spending a lot
of time together.Copy !req
161. Ghosts aren't real.
Yeah. Death is the end.Copy !req
162. It's final!
That's right, Zeke.Copy !req
163. Yeah, nothing more!
High five!Copy !req
164. Really? Well, maybe Jeff
will have something to sayCopy !req
165. about that. Anyone
want to talk to him?Copy !req
166. I do.
Okay.
All right.Copy !req
167. Hands on the Ouija board,
everybody.Copy !req
168. You can ask him anything
you want about the afterlife.Copy !req
169. All right. If you're real,
what do ghosts eat?Copy !req
170. It's moving.Copy !req
171. S...Copy !req
172. O... U...Copy !req
173. P.Copy !req
174. Soup! He's right!Copy !req
175. Must be real. Whoa.Copy !req
176. This changes a lot for me.
A lot.Copy !req
177. Are you okay, Zeke?
No, this is weird.Copy !req
178. Well, Zeke's changed.
Who's next?Copy !req
179. I have a question. Were you
cool when you were alive?Copy !req
180. V... E...Copy !req
181. R... Y.Copy !req
182. Very! Jeff is cool!Copy !req
183. I-I don't
think Jeff is real.Copy !req
184. Something smells fishy.Copy !req
185. "U."
Oh, man.Copy !req
186. He got you!
Ghost burn.Copy !req
187. That's not funny.Copy !req
188. Jeff's funny.Copy !req
189. Uh-oh.Copy !req
190. Time's up everyone.
Wait, wait.Copy !req
191. One more question. Hey, Jeff,
do you want to walk me to class?Copy !req
192. You go, girl.Copy !req
193. He has a creepy crush on you.Copy !req
194. Weird.Copy !req
195. We have to call
another exterminator.Copy !req
196. Let's go with...
"Beetle Kanevil"?Copy !req
197. What is wrong with the
exterminators in our town?Copy !req
198. Why don't you ask him?Copy !req
199. Marcus!Copy !req
200. I just wanted to show this place
to some of my friends.Copy !req
201. This is Phil and Don.Copy !req
202. Hi.
Wait, what?Copy !req
203. They're gonna check it out.
I'm gonna run away.Copy !req
204. Bye, Marcus!
Good luck!Copy !req
205. I hope you don't die!
He always says that.Copy !req
206. What are you doing?
What's all this?Copy !req
207. Mm. I'm definitely
recordingCopy !req
208. some EMF traces
in here.Copy !req
209. We just might have something
substantial on our hands.Copy !req
210. Are you
paranormal investigators?Copy !req
211. Guilty.
I'm Don,Copy !req
212. vice president of
our local chapter.Copy !req
213. This is Phil.
He's president.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
214. Voted in by a landslide.
One vote. It was me.Copy !req
215. Uh, you can't do that stuff
in here. This is a business.Copy !req
216. So, Marcus told you about
our ghost. His name is Jeff.Copy !req
217. Uh, he's doing great. I
mean, he's adjusting well.Copy !req
218. I... Bob, do you think
he's... comfortable?
Lin, stop.Copy !req
219. There is no ghost.
Oh, boy.Copy !req
220. Don, you're gonna want
to take a look at this.Copy !req
221. Okay.
This booth is coveredCopy !req
222. in some serious
spectral traces.Copy !req
223. My meter's
going crazy.
Mine, too.Copy !req
224. Of course, it could be
cell phone interference.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
225. Or an AM radio. Or a microwave.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
226. But I bet it's a ghost.
Mm-hmm.
Oh!Copy !req
227. You hear that, Bob?
A ghost.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
228. Looks like we got
our work cut out for us.Copy !req
229. Phil, you think
we should order some lunch?Copy !req
230. Burger. Medium well.Copy !req
231. Man knows what he wants.Copy !req
232. That's why
he's president.
Ow.Copy !req
233. What's going on here?Copy !req
234. Um, nothing.
Don't mind them.Copy !req
235. Can I help you?
They have a ghost.Copy !req
236. We're here
to investigate.Copy !req
237. No, there's no ghost.
Don't listenCopy !req
238. to him. He's...
Honey, they have a ghost.Copy !req
239. Let's eat here.
I mean,Copy !req
240. yeah, we have a ghost.Copy !req
241. Uh, come on in.
Sit down.Copy !req
242. We have at least one
in every booth.Copy !req
243. Jeff, people are
loving you!Copy !req
244. Tina's hanging out with the most
popular box in the school.Copy !req
245. I don't even care that he's
popular. To me, he's just Jeff.Copy !req
246. Bye.
Wait, wait, where are you going?Copy !req
247. Oh, I was thinking
of showing Jeff the butterfliesCopy !req
248. at the science center. You guys
don't want to come along,Copy !req
249. do you? Probably not.
Great. Bye.Copy !req
250. Jeff, you have my sister home
by 11:00!Copy !req
251. Wait, make that 9:00,
8:00 central!Copy !req
252. Jeff and I are gonna watch
Kitchen Nightmares.Copy !req
253. That's gonna be our thing!Copy !req
254. The butterflies are beautiful
this time of year.Copy !req
255. The rest of the time,
they're caterpillars.Copy !req
256. Are we holding hands?
I can't really tell.Copy !req
257. Jeff, you'd tell me
if you were just a box, right?Copy !req
258. You're just a box,
aren't you?Copy !req
259. I'm on a date with a box.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
260. Whoa. I'm getting butterfly
kisses from a butterfly.Copy !req
261. Is it you, Jeff?Copy !req
262. Is this a sign?Copy !req
263. Oh, boy. You really are real.
What are you doing?Copy !req
264. No, no, no.
No eating the butterflies!Copy !req
265. What is in the box?Copy !req
266. Um... Jeff.Copy !req
267. Who's Jeff?Copy !req
268. Oh, wow. Um...Copy !req
269. you're kind putting us
on the spot here.Copy !req
270. Is he a friend?
Is he more than a friend?Copy !req
271. We're just enjoying it
right now without labels.Copy !req
272. Oh.
I thought it was food or drink.Copy !req
273. Enjoy your visit.Copy !req
274. Lin, I never thought
I'd say this, but I'm gladCopy !req
275. a crazy exterminator
told us we had a ghost.Copy !req
276. Big day. People like
your burgers moreCopy !req
277. when there's a dead person
in the restaurant.Copy !req
278. Okay, people.
We're gonna listenCopy !req
279. for subsonic metaphysical
phenomena now.Copy !req
280. We need everybody
to be very quiet in here.Copy !req
281. Except for ghosts.
You guys talk it up.Copy !req
282. Hi, everyone!
Oh!
Ah!Copy !req
283. Oh, my. Oh.
Damn it.Copy !req
284. We have an announcement.
We're officially dating.Copy !req
285. Ooh! Ghost boyfriend!Copy !req
286. You'll have to get some
clanking chains for prom. Aw.Copy !req
287. Wait. Is there a
ghost in that vessel?Copy !req
288. Did you just say
you two were dating?Copy !req
289. Dad, you're not gonna like
every guy she brings home.Copy !req
290. Mm, I'm getting
some heavy activity.Copy !req
291. Of course you are.
It's Jeff. He's like that.Copy !req
292. Congratulations, Bob.
He seems great.Copy !req
293. Yep. Every father's dream.Copy !req
294. Aw.Copy !req
295. There he is!
Coolest guy in school.Copy !req
296. What's up, Jeff?
Oh, hi, everyone.Copy !req
297. Uh, me and my boyfriend Jeff
were just lookingCopy !req
298. to have a little lunch.Copy !req
299. Oh, my God, did you
just say "boyfriend"?Copy !req
300. Did I? Oh, yeah, I did. Hmm.Copy !req
301. You guys are
so cute together!Copy !req
302. You're the new
"it" couple!Copy !req
303. Whoa, people, give
them some space here.Copy !req
304. No photos!Copy !req
305. Well, Jeff and I
are gonna get in line.Copy !req
306. God, just leave him
here for a second.Copy !req
307. You're smothering him, Tina.Copy !req
308. Let him breathe.
He's already in a box.Copy !req
309. Yeah, let him hang out with us.Copy !req
310. This ghoul needs some guy time.
Come on, Jeff!Copy !req
311. I'm gonna get ya!
Get over here, all right!
Oh. Uh, okay.Copy !req
312. We'll do our own thing for a bit
and then meet up later.Copy !req
313. See you in a few, Jeff.
I'm gonna get you!Copy !req
314. Get over here.
Miss you already.Copy !req
315. Get your ass up here!
Come on.
Careful.Copy !req
316. I'm back, Jeff.
Hope you like hot dogs...Copy !req
317. Where did Jeff go?Copy !req
318. Tammy got some mustard
on Jeff's box,Copy !req
319. so she went to
wash it off.Copy !req
320. You guys, get in here!Copy !req
321. I went into the stallCopy !req
322. to go number one,
because I never goCopy !req
323. number two at school, or at all,Copy !req
324. because that's gross,
and Jocelyn clogged the toiletCopy !req
325. that one time.
I'm sorry, Jocelyn.Copy !req
326. But look what I found
when I came out!Copy !req
327. Huh?Copy !req
328. "Tina and I
are taking a break.Copy !req
329. "Tammy, you are hot.Copy !req
330. Be my GF."Copy !req
331. Wait. What?
Jeff asked me out!Copy !req
332. And of course I said "no"
'cause that's not fair to Tina.Copy !req
333. Just kidding!
I said yes!Copy !req
334. Oh, yay! Oh, my God,
you guys areCopy !req
335. the coolest couple in school!
You deserve it.Copy !req
336. I guess now I have a hottie
without a body.Copy !req
337. Come on, Jeff.Copy !req
338. Nobody's saying it,Copy !req
339. I can't believeCopy !req
340. Jeff dumped me for Tammy.Copy !req
341. Since when can Jeff
write on mirrors?Copy !req
342. I'm pretty sure
that's his handwriting.Copy !req
343. It's girly, but it's just
'cause he's sensitive.Copy !req
344. The girl's bathroom is nice!Copy !req
345. Each stall has a
tiny metal mailbox.Copy !req
346. I'm glad I was carrying
around that postcard for Ken.Copy !req
347. I don't know how I'm gonna make
it through the rest of the day.Copy !req
348. Come on, Tina,
get off the floor.Copy !req
349. What's the big deal?
He's not even...Copy !req
350. hot... for a box.Copy !req
351. That's not
what I care about.Copy !req
352. I care about
what's inside.Copy !req
353. Also, we don't know if that's
water or urine you're lying in.Copy !req
354. I think it's just water.
Yeah, water.Copy !req
355. No, pee.Copy !req
356. Tina, they're gonna doCopy !req
357. an ultrasound
on your box.Copy !req
358. The box didn't quite make
it home with us today.Copy !req
359. Kids, there's a lot of people
who are very focused on the box.Copy !req
360. Where's the box?Copy !req
361. Did he switch vessels?Copy !req
362. No, he didn't switch vessels.Copy !req
363. He switched girlfriends!Copy !req
364. To an annoying girl named Tammy!Copy !req
365. Ugh! I hate
his stupid ghost face!Copy !req
366. He dumped you?Copy !req
367. I'm gonna kill
him. Again.Copy !req
368. Oh, I knew
this would happen.Copy !req
369. Sort of.Copy !req
370. Spirit appears
to be a bit of a player.Copy !req
371. Tina's gonna be okay.Copy !req
372. I made her a PB and J.Copy !req
373. She said she didn't want it,
so I ate it.Copy !req
374. She was still sad,
so I made her another PB and J.Copy !req
375. She didn't want that one either,
so I ate it. Anyway,Copy !req
376. Tina wants to be alone
for a little while,Copy !req
377. and we're out
of peanut butter.Copy !req
378. Guys, I hate to break
your hearts, too,Copy !req
379. but Jeff isn't real.Copy !req
380. What are you talking about?Copy !req
381. I was controlling
the Ouija Board.Copy !req
382. I was messing with you guys.Copy !req
383. Yeah. I thought
that was pretty obvious.Copy !req
384. I named him Jeff.Copy !req
385. It's the stupidest name
for a ghost I could think of.Copy !req
386. Of course.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
387. I know
Jeff's not real.Copy !req
388. It was Louise. Sure.Copy !req
389. Wait, so let me
get this straight.Copy !req
390. His name's not Jeff,
but he's real.Copy !req
391. No, Gene, there
is no Jeff!Copy !req
392. I just thought
it would be funny.Copy !req
393. I didn't think Tina would
fall in love with him.Copy !req
394. And I definitely didn't thinkCopy !req
395. Tammy was gonna pull
the same crap as meCopy !req
396. but better
with that mirror thing.Copy !req
397. And now I'm gonna go tell Tina
and say I'm sorry,Copy !req
398. and we're all gonna laugh about
this someday, right, guys?Copy !req
399. I don't think
that's such a good idea.Copy !req
400. Lin, why is that not
such a good idea?Copy !req
401. 'Cause Tina's already
feeling heartbroken right now.Copy !req
402. If we tell her the truth, she's
gonna feel heartbroken and dumb.Copy !req
403. She got catfished by a box!Copy !req
404. So... I'm not
telling Tina?Copy !req
405. You'll see. You'll all go
trick-or-treating tomorrow.Copy !req
406. She'll be fine.Copy !req
407. She'll be back
to her normal, teeny Tina.Copy !req
408. She just
needs nougat.Copy !req
409. Happy Halloween!Copy !req
410. I'm a witch!Copy !req
411. Costume fashion show!
Get out here, kids!Copy !req
412. Here comes Gene!
Turner and Hooch.Copy !req
413. Half dog, half
Hanks, all cop!Copy !req
414. More like Turner and Cute.Copy !req
415. Come here, you!Copy !req
416. Oh, here comes Louise.Copy !req
417. Shiny scorpion person. Wow!Copy !req
418. I'm Ryan Gosling from the major
motion picture trailer Drive.Copy !req
419. So violent,
but so well-reviewed.Copy !req
420. And here she is,
last but not least, Tina!Copy !req
421. Dressed as a...
pretty glasses girl.Copy !req
422. Wait. You didn't change at all.Copy !req
423. I'm not gonna go
trick-or-treating, guys.Copy !req
424. What? No.Copy !req
425. You should go!Copy !req
426. Eat your candy.
You need it.Copy !req
427. Yeah, no, I'm just gonna
hang out here for a while.Copy !req
428. And later, I might
stop by the cemetery.Copy !req
429. If I don't show my face now,
I'll never be able to do it.Copy !req
430. What? Why would
you go there?Copy !req
431. Tammy's gonna be there.Copy !req
432. And a certain
cardboard box. Ruff!Copy !req
433. You guys go ahead
without me. I'll be fine.Copy !req
434. I'll just watch other people
have fun on Halloween.Copy !req
435. That kid's having fun.Copy !req
436. Glad Tina's okay. Time
to go trick-or-treating!Copy !req
437. Are you kidding me?
Tina is not okay.Copy !req
438. Look at her.Copy !req
439. I know what
we have to do now.Copy !req
440. Tammy's going down,
and she's going downCopy !req
441. with a strong dose
of her own medicine.Copy !req
442. Which I invented!
Love it.
One suggestion.Copy !req
443. Can we go
trick-or-treatingCopy !req
444. for a couple of hours,
and then see how we feel?Copy !req
445. No, Gene!
Can we just
stop for ramen?Copy !req
446. Ha, all right!Copy !req
447. We're the older kids now!Copy !req
448. Hanging out
in the cemetery!Copy !req
449. Man, in a few years,
we'll be parents!Copy !req
450. And I have
a serious boyfriend.Copy !req
451. So, uh, I guess we're
supposed to break into thatCopy !req
452. creepy mausoleum, huh?
It's a rite of passage.Copy !req
453. Hey, we got
a ghost with us.Copy !req
454. We're good, right?Copy !req
455. Jeff, you know
the doorman?Copy !req
456. Oh.Copy !req
457. Oh, man.
Hey, guys.Copy !req
458. Oh. Um,Copy !req
459. you two have, like, zero out
of ten permission to be here.Copy !req
460. You're too young.Copy !req
461. Yeah, little
fetuses.Copy !req
462. Hooch, heel!Copy !req
463. Where's Tina?
Crying into her butt?Copy !req
464. No.Copy !req
465. My butt is dry... and strong.
Ew.Copy !req
466. Ruff! Good boy.
Hey, Louise.Copy !req
467. Tina, I'm glad you're here.
You're gonna want to see this.Copy !req
468. I thought you guys
were gonna go trick-or-treating.Copy !req
469. And I thought
you guys were gonnaCopy !req
470. actually go into the mausoleum.Copy !req
471. We're going! We're just... we're
just getting our legs ready.Copy !req
472. Look, here they go!
We're about to march right in!Copy !req
473. Tammy? Tammy?
What? What?Copy !req
474. It's so awkward
that Jeff's ex is here.Copy !req
475. It's like so... You could cut
the tension with a knife.Copy !req
476. No, like, whatever.Copy !req
477. I'm so confident, because
Jeff is, like, so over her.Copy !req
478. Come on, legs.
Good, great, come on.Copy !req
479. Keep going! You can shake,
but you can't quit on me!Copy !req
480. I can't see anything!Copy !req
481. Whoa.Copy !req
482. Someone just knocked
Jeff out of my hands!Copy !req
483. You guys don't even care!Copy !req
484. I would care,
but I'm too scared!Copy !req
485. JIMMY JR.: Zeke, light the
rite of passage candle.Copy !req
486. Here you go! I took it
from my Dad's Jacuzzi tub.Copy !req
487. Here's your boyfriend, Tammy.Copy !req
488. I found him on the ground.Copy !req
489. You should really
be more careful.Copy !req
490. Great. Now he's
got ground on him.Copy !req
491. Sorry the candle smells
like lavender.Copy !req
492. Kind of changes the vibe
a little bit.Copy !req
493. Yeah. I'm feeling
really relaxed all of a sudden.Copy !req
494. The door slammed shut!Copy !req
495. Well, somebody open it!
It's locked!Copy !req
496. I can't open it!
No!Copy !req
497. Oh, no.Copy !req
498. Tina, try it again!
I can't budge it.Copy !req
499. It just won't open.Copy !req
500. Louise, how'd you do that?Copy !req
501. I didn't.
That wasn't part of my plan.Copy !req
502. Well, then what
was your plan?Copy !req
503. I put some bugs from
the basement in Tammy's box.Copy !req
504. That's it?
Gene, you were there.Copy !req
505. You helped me
get the bugs.Copy !req
506. I know. I just thought there
was gonna be more to it.Copy !req
507. But, yeah, no,
it's-it's good.Copy !req
508. Oh, my God!Copy !req
509. Guys, look at this!Copy !req
510. "You are all condemned
to eternal damnationCopy !req
511. "in here with me.Copy !req
512. "This is...Copy !req
513. Jeff!"Copy !req
514. Jeff trapped us!Copy !req
515. Not cool, Jeff!
Not cool.Copy !req
516. Oh, no! Oh, no! Eternal
damnation sounds bad and long!Copy !req
517. It's the worst
kind of damnation!Copy !req
518. If you really aren't
doing this, Louise,Copy !req
519. Hooch is gonna have
an accident.Copy !req
520. I swear it's not me.Copy !req
521. I knew I shouldn't have taken
Tina's spooky seconds! Ugh!Copy !req
522. Got her.Copy !req
523. Uh-oh.Copy !req
524. This might have backfired
a little bit.Copy !req
525. They're on me!
They're on me!Copy !req
526. Listen! Listen to me!Copy !req
527. I have something to say.Copy !req
528. We're not trapped in here
for eternal damnation.Copy !req
529. I wrote that.
What?Copy !req
530. Jeff the ghost isn't real.
My sister made him up.Copy !req
531. Dude, what?
Oh, my God.Copy !req
532. That was me.
Uh, hi, everybody.Copy !req
533. The bugs
were also me.Copy !req
534. Part of me always
kind of thought Jeff was fake.Copy !req
535. But then, last night,
when I heard my family talkingCopy !req
536. about how fake he was,Copy !req
537. I realized
that he definitely was fake.Copy !req
538. Mm. Ah. Also, it's crazy.
It's a box.Copy !req
539. But the things we wanted
from Jeff were real.Copy !req
540. I wanted a boy
to pay attention to meCopy !req
541. and never leave my side. Ah.Copy !req
542. Oh, man.Copy !req
543. I wanted to believe that
there's more than this life.Copy !req
544. I wanted to believe so bad.Copy !req
545. It's okay, Zeke.
Oh, God.Copy !req
546. It just means take advantage
of the here and now.Copy !req
547. Oh, I hear you, man.Copy !req
548. And I wanted someone to watch
Kitchen Nightmares with.Copy !req
549. And I just liked him 'cause
everyone else liked him.Copy !req
550. I need to start
thinking for myself,Copy !req
551. unless you guys don't think
that's cool. Then I won't.Copy !req
552. And Tammy wanted
to steal someone away from meCopy !req
553. because she's a horrible,
jealous girl.Copy !req
554. She's right!
Tammy's a handful!Copy !req
555. But we don't need Jeff.Copy !req
556. We can get these things
from ourselves.Copy !req
557. Ah! I don't need a boy
to pay attention to me.Copy !req
558. I'll pay attention to myself.Copy !req
559. And, Gene, it's okay to watch
Kitchen Nightmares alone.Copy !req
560. And it's okay that
I'm jealous and terrible.Copy !req
561. No, no.
Fix yourself!Copy !req
562. Holy crap!Copy !req
563. Tina, you're amazing.Copy !req
564. I can't believe
you planned this whole thing.Copy !req
565. You-you shut the door
and pretended it was locked.Copy !req
566. You came here early
and wrote this on the wall.Copy !req
567. What'd you use, by the way?
Hopefully, not paint.Copy !req
568. It's ketchup.
Checks out.Copy !req
569. Listen, I'm really
sorry I made up a ghostCopy !req
570. that you fell
in love with.Copy !req
571. It's okay.
It was good practiceCopy !req
572. for when a real ghost
comes along.Copy !req
573. Well, you made this
the best Halloween ever.Copy !req
574. And there's still time
to go trick-or-treating!Copy !req
575. It's 10:30.
It's too late.Copy !req
576. Ah, damn it, Jimmy Jr.!Copy !req
577. Why do you always
know the time?Copy !req
578. I have a watch.
Oh.Copy !req
579. Quick, to the Pacific
time zone!Copy !req
580. It's still Halloween
in San Diego!Copy !req
581. I'll be honest. I miss Jeff.
Well, Bob,Copy !req
582. we have a lot of
data to sift through.Copy !req
583. We got to get
back to the lab.Copy !req
584. Let's, uh, close out
your tab here.Copy !req
585. You guys ate,
uh, 11 burgers.Copy !req
586. All delicious.
We were about to settle
the bill with you, too, Bob.Copy !req
587. Let's see. We did a beta wave
test, a black light scanCopy !req
588. and an audio
spectral recording.Copy !req
589. With all these
services rendered,Copy !req
590. looks like it's gonna be a wash.
Bye, Bob. Bye, Linda.Copy !req
591. You can't leave. You have
to pay for your food.Copy !req
592. We can't pay you.
Mm. Why?Copy !req
593. Should we tell him, Phil?
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
594. We've been dead
for 12 years.Copy !req
595. Oh, my God!
Bobby, they're ghosts!Copy !req
596. I knew it.
Bye!Copy !req
597. Wait, wait, wait.
Wait. Hold on.Copy !req
598. Watch out, Bobby! They're gonna
walk right through you!Copy !req
599. Do you take credit cards?
Oh, they're not ghosts.Copy !req
600. Je t'aime, mon chéri.Copy !req
601. Le petit Jeffrey.Copy !req
602. Il est mort.Copy !req