1. All right!
My Bobby's going off to college.Copy !req
2. I'm not going off to college, Lin.Copy !req
3. You don't have the grades!Copy !req
4. I'm just going to the college
to fill in for Pepe,Copy !req
5. cooking at the fraternity house
for a week.Copy !req
6. Aw, you're gonna have so much fun.Copy !req
7. I don't really see what's fun
about being ordered aroundCopy !req
8. by a bunch of frat boys.Copy !req
9. - I can explain it.
- That's okay, Tina.Copy !req
10. All I know is we need the cash.
So I'm doing it.Copy !req
11. Well, you're gonna miss me hosting
one of Gretchen's LadyGoods parties.Copy !req
12. - What are "lady goods"?
- I don't know. Makeup?Copy !req
13. - Tampons and pony saddles?
- Breast organizers?Copy !req
14. Okay, well, guess I'd better go
feed Chad and Trip and Chip and SkipCopy !req
15. and all the other rich kids.Copy !req
16. You say that like we're not rich.Copy !req
17. Wait, Dad. Are we not rich?Copy !req
18. Hi. I'm the cook. I'm filling in for Pepe?Copy !req
19. Looks like you guys got TP'd.Copy !req
20. Yeah, the Alpha House likes to prank us.Copy !req
21. Joke's on them, though.Copy !req
22. - Free toilet paper for us!
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
23. Tough to roll it back up, though.Copy !req
24. I'm the Beta president. They call me Pud.Copy !req
25. Oh, okay, Pud. I'm Bob.Copy !req
26. That's Hefty Jeff,
he's the fraternity historian.Copy !req
27. Oh, uh, that's a thing?Copy !req
28. Ask me anything
about the history of this frat.Copy !req
29. Uh, okay. When was it founded?Copy !req
30. Crap. Ask me something else.Copy !req
31. - I'm Turd. Put her there.
- Hey, Turd.Copy !req
32. So Turd, Pud, um, Hefty Jeff.Copy !req
33. This is a...Copy !req
34. - Nice place you got here.
- Thank you.Copy !req
35. - I mean, the sofa is upside down, but...
- That's for hiding.Copy !req
36. - And forts.
- Yeah.Copy !req
37. Okay. So, I'm guessing
this isn't the top fraternity on campus.Copy !req
38. Oh, no. Our motto is "If you rushed us,
you'd be pledged by now."Copy !req
39. Hey, worked on me.Copy !req
40. We haze with hugs.Copy !req
41. - Some good huggers in this group.
- Girls never come here.Copy !req
42. How we doing, ladies?Copy !req
43. Let's give it up for Linda for hostingCopy !req
44. - tonight's LadyGoods party!Copy !req
45. Stop it.Copy !req
46. Now that everyone's hammered,
let's look at the product line.Copy !req
47. Think it's appropriate
to have children here?Copy !req
48. - Why wouldn't it be appropriate?
- Our money's as green as yours, toots!Copy !req
49. Our first LadyGood
is called the Joie de Vibe,Copy !req
50. which we all know is French for "fun."Copy !req
51. - Buh-buh-buh...Copy !req
52. - Ho-ho!Copy !req
53. I don't know what that thing is,
but the look on Mom's face is hilarious!Copy !req
54. - I'll buy it!
- Okay, kids. Come on. Go to your room now.Copy !req
55. Yeah, go to your room, guys.Copy !req
56. - You, too, missy.
- What?Copy !req
57. - Come on. Out now.
- Oh, man!Copy !req
58. Grown-up stuff is going on!Copy !req
59. Okay.Copy !req
60. I want a magic vibrating club
just like any other boy!Copy !req
61. Yeah. All right.
Yeah!Copy !req
62. Bob, this burger is superb.Copy !req
63. What'd you put in there? Spices?Copy !req
64. - Uh, a few.
- You deserve a beer.Copy !req
65. Follow me to the Fellowship Room.Copy !req
66. - Fellowship Room! Fellowship Room!
- Fellowship Room!Copy !req
67. So, fellowship basically means drinking.Copy !req
68. - And drinking games.
- Like Beer Beer Goose.Copy !req
69. - What's the "Slowhand Crooner Corner"?
- Oof. Slowhand.Copy !req
70. Yeah, seriously.Copy !req
71. Someone's got to tell him
he graduated a million years ago.Copy !req
72. Now, now, Hefty Jeff, Turd.Copy !req
73. Slowhand is a very generous Beta alum.Copy !req
74. He buys us stuff
like that karaoke machine.Copy !req
75. Uh, and what's that?Copy !req
76. - Beta!
Beta!Copy !req
77. - That's Beta.
- Yeah, I got that.Copy !req
78. Beta was the house iguana from '67 to '86.Copy !req
79. Only a true brother may drink from him.Copy !req
80. You drink from him?Copy !req
81. I ate Indian food out of him once.Copy !req
82. You're not supposed to.Copy !req
83. We're out upstairs.Copy !req
84. - Oh, hey, Bob. Did you drive here?
- Uh, yeah. Why?Copy !req
85. Maybe it's time to "go to the library."Copy !req
86. - Tonight? We're supposed to wait.
- Bob can drive.Copy !req
87. And we're the perfect level of drunk.Copy !req
88. - To go to the library?
- Yeah.Copy !req
89. Could you give us a ride to campus?
I can't drive at nightCopy !req
90. - because I don't have a car.
- Okay.Copy !req
91. Moving on, this one is called
Here Comes the Sun.Copy !req
92. It's solar-powered
so you leave it on your porch all day.Copy !req
93. Any takers?Copy !req
94. No?Copy !req
95. Okay.Copy !req
96. - Linda. Linda.
- What, what, what?Copy !req
97. I'm dying here. This crowd is all married,
boring people who suck.Copy !req
98. You got to help me.Copy !req
99. - What? No. I can't sell anything.
- You'll be fine.Copy !req
100. - I can't sell—
- Linda swears by this thing, don't you?Copy !req
101. You know, because of your problems
with your husband?Copy !req
102. Yeah! Uh, Bob's got a condition
that makes him, uh, sex bad.Copy !req
103. My husband's got that.Copy !req
104. It's called being married for 20 years.Copy !req
105. Being married for 20 years.Copy !req
106. She says being married!Copy !req
107. I'll take the one with the hand crank,
for the camping.Copy !req
108. Okay! Who wants more wine?Copy !req
109. - So, where's the library?
- It's just up ahead.Copy !req
110. I'm really nervous.Copy !req
111. The library must be different
than how I'm imagining it.Copy !req
112. Stop here.Copy !req
113. Okay, this isn't the library. At all.Copy !req
114. Hey, would you mind waiting here?
And keep the engine running.Copy !req
115. What are they doing with that fish
and that air conditioner?Copy !req
116. Oh. They're putting the fish
in the air conditioner.Copy !req
117. That's a good prank. Kind of.
No, it's not.Copy !req
118. - Yeah, we did it!Copy !req
119. - Yeah, a lot.Copy !req
120. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
121. - Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
- What?Copy !req
122. - Everybody, be cool!
- Oh, God. Oh, God.Copy !req
123. Oh, God. Oh, God.Copy !req
124. - Oh, God.
- Evening, sir.Copy !req
125. Evening, uh, officer.Copy !req
126. I'm, uh, teaching a class on, um...Copy !req
127. Creative driving.Copy !req
128. - Creative driving?
- Yeah, it's a special—Copy !req
129. - Elective.
- Elective.Copy !req
130. - Pass-fail.
- It's pass-fail, but that's...Copy !req
131. unnecessary information.Copy !req
132. - You're an adjunct professor.
- I got it.Copy !req
133. All right. Have a good class, professor.Copy !req
134. - Really?
- Go, go, go!Copy !req
135. Bob, you're a hero. You made the prank.Copy !req
136. You're a sick old man.Copy !req
137. - Is that a good thing?
- Yes!Copy !req
138. Gentlemen, I think Bob deserves a beer.Copy !req
139. - You just gave me one, so I'm good.
- I didn't finish.Copy !req
140. Bob deserves a beer out of Beta.Copy !req
141. Beta, Beta, Beta!Copy !req
142. Wow, really? Are— are you sure?Copy !req
143. I mean, that's disgusting, but...Copy !req
144. Beta, Beta!Copy !req
145. - Beta!
- Uh, which end do I drink from?Copy !req
146. - Dealer's choice.
- Uh, I guess I'll do mouth.Copy !req
147. You don't know what you're missing
from the butt, Bob.Copy !req
148. - All right, I'll do butt.
- Yeah.Copy !req
149. Yeah.Copy !req
150. Oh, my God.
I just drank from a lizard's butt!Copy !req
151. Reload!Copy !req
152. No, no, no. I'm good, guys.Copy !req
153. I'm good. Well, maybe one more.Copy !req
154. Betas!Copy !req
155. Yeah, give me the lizard again!
I'll go get it!Copy !req
156. You're off to the frat house already?Copy !req
157. The guys are playing Beer Beer Goose,
so I'm gonna make lunch.Copy !req
158. Now I kind of regret not going to college.Copy !req
159. You regret not going to college?Copy !req
160. Come on. It's not like you ended up
flipping burgers.Copy !req
161. Oh, wait...Copy !req
162. Why don't you take the kids with you?Copy !req
163. A house full of boys?
I can't go. I have plans.Copy !req
164. Just kidding. Let's go.Copy !req
165. Hey! There he is!Copy !req
166. Everybody, Bob's here!Copy !req
167. Yeah, Bob!Copy !req
168. Hey, guys. I brought my kids.Copy !req
169. This is great.
I can't not step on cold pizza.Copy !req
170. - Upside-down couch for hiding?
- And forts.Copy !req
171. This is the biggest man-cave ever.Copy !req
172. And Tina's going spelunking.Copy !req
173. - No, Tina. No.
- Hey, Bob.Copy !req
174. Word of warning, Slowhand's here.Copy !req
175. Slowhand? Oh, oh, the alum?Copy !req
176. - Yeah, he's in the bathroom.Copy !req
177. Guys, I think he's coming.Copy !req
178. Coming back from the bathroom
entrance music. Bom-chicka-bom-chicka-bom!Copy !req
179. Dr. Yap? I thought I'd never see you again
until my next dental appointment.Copy !req
180. - You're Slowhand?
- Bob, what are you doing here?Copy !req
181. I'm filling in for the cook.Copy !req
182. Oh, great, great. Hi, kids.Copy !req
183. How are you doing?
Are you flossing, Beana?Copy !req
184. Yap, yap, yap.Copy !req
185. Hey, you signed up
for the Slowhand Memories Tour?Copy !req
186. Actually, I should get into the kitchen.Copy !req
187. Leaving now. Keep up.Copy !req
188. And that's where I had
my first French hug.Copy !req
189. - That's where you feel a girl's armpits.
- We done, Yap?Copy !req
190. - We've hit every room in the house.
- Not every room.Copy !req
191. Behind this very door
are Betas' greatest treasures,Copy !req
192. our darkest mysteries
and our washer-dryer.Copy !req
193. Pause for laughter.Copy !req
194. Only brothers may enter
the Room of Secrets.Copy !req
195. Secrets, secrets, secrets. Shh.Copy !req
196. - You kids want to see inside, huh?
- Sure.Copy !req
197. No! What did I tell you?Copy !req
198. Brothers only.Copy !req
199. Okay, Yap, we get it.Copy !req
200. - Moving on. Last stop.
- That was the last stop.Copy !req
201. - You said that's the last stop.
One more.Copy !req
202. - There's one more thing.
- Yeah, the best way to keep your secretsCopy !req
203. hidden is to put them in a room
labeled "Room Of Secrets."Copy !req
204. Damn it!Copy !req
205. And finally, the Beta House Wall of Honor.Copy !req
206. Hey, wait a second. What's this?Copy !req
207. Whoa, Hefty Jeff, you framed that already?Copy !req
208. I'm the house historian.Copy !req
209. His dad owns a frame shop.Copy !req
210. Are you freaking kidding me?Copy !req
211. - Slowhand, calm down.
- No, you calm down, Pud!Copy !req
212. You let a non-brother drink out of Beta?Copy !req
213. And he crooned in my Crooner Corner?Copy !req
214. B to the S!Copy !req
215. It's okay. Bob helped us prank
the crap out of the Alphas.Copy !req
216. You'll prank with these guys
but you won't prank with us?Copy !req
217. We put the dead fish in their AC.Copy !req
218. What? That was my prank!Copy !req
219. Why wasn't I in on my prank?
You should have called me!Copy !req
220. I put my number
in all of your cell phones.Copy !req
221. Bob had a car,
the fish was starting to smell...Copy !req
222. I bought that fish!Copy !req
223. That's why when I have a fish
I write my name on it in permanent marker.Copy !req
224. Sorry, Yap.
I didn't know it was your fish.Copy !req
225. You're right, Slowhand, we screwed up.
If you want to take time offCopy !req
226. from hanging out here,
we would understand.Copy !req
227. No, that won't be necessary.Copy !req
228. The important thing is you
finally sacked upCopy !req
229. and pranked those Alphas.Copy !req
230. Yeah, Operation Bob-Fish
was a huge success.Copy !req
231. Yap-Fish! It was a Yap-Fish!Copy !req
232. History will say it was a Bob-Fish.Copy !req
233. I'm so proud of my dad.Copy !req
234. That stuff about Bob's problems
in the bedroom was great.Copy !req
235. You are a natural saleswoman.Copy !req
236. Thanks. Selling's easy.
You just tell lies about your husbandCopy !req
237. - and you're all set.
- Yeah. Throw it all out.Copy !req
238. - What?
- Different crowd.Copy !req
239. See that woman crying over there?Copy !req
240. - Yeah.
- The one with too much eye shadow.Copy !req
241. - Oh, it's awful.
- No, I know.Copy !req
242. Anyway, she just got dumped.
You tell me why.Copy !req
243. - Her friends threw her this party.
- Right.Copy !req
244. - Think you got an angle for her?
- Maybe. Yes. I don't know.Copy !req
245. - Good. Save it.
- Okay.Copy !req
246. - Let's go sell some sex toys!
- Whoo!Copy !req
247. - And Linda? Here.
- Ow. Ow! What?Copy !req
248. - Your own Pleasureologist coat.
- Aw.Copy !req
249. Welcome to the Pleasureologist family.Copy !req
250. - Hey. Listen, sweetie.Copy !req
251. I just broke up, too.Copy !req
252. Yeah. I broke up
with my husb— My boyfriend.Copy !req
253. - Oh, yeah?
- Bob. Jerk.Copy !req
254. But guess what. I found somebody better.Copy !req
255. The Sneaky Pete!
Oh, hi, it's nice to meet you.Copy !req
256. - What's your name?
I'm Susan.Copy !req
257. - Susan, hi.
- Hi, Pete.Copy !req
258. I like you, Susan.Copy !req
259. I got a crush on you.Copy !req
260. I never felt this way before.Copy !req
261. I want to go home with you
with your bedside drawerCopy !req
262. and live there forever.Copy !req
263. Oh, now she's smiling. Whoo.Copy !req
264. - We got another one!
- Tell her about the holster.Copy !req
265. Dad, what do you think the frat boys
keep in their Room of Secrets?Copy !req
266. I don't know, Tina, but whatever it is,
it attracts ants.Copy !req
267. Well, don't you worry.Copy !req
268. Today we're getting in
or Gene dies trying.Copy !req
269. - You got it!
- Guys, you heard Dr. Yap.Copy !req
270. That room is off-limits to non-brothers.Copy !req
271. - You're not a brother.
- I'm basically a brother.Copy !req
272. I'm more of a brother than you are, Gene.Copy !req
273. You've never even touched the iguana!
I drank from its ass!Copy !req
274. Are you okay, Dad?Copy !req
275. I just— I like those guys.Copy !req
276. And— and they like me.Copy !req
277. And it's not just because
we're always drunk.Copy !req
278. - Oh, my God.
Dr. Yap!Copy !req
279. What happened here?
- The Alphas hit us, man!Copy !req
280. They got us, man!Copy !req
281. Pretty hard, bro!Copy !req
282. This could be payback
for Operation Bob-Fish.Copy !req
283. Yap-Fish.Copy !req
284. And the worst thing is they took...Copy !req
285. They took...Copy !req
286. A long, hard look at your lifestyle?Copy !req
287. No! They took Beta!Copy !req
288. Beta!Copy !req
289. No! I want everyone to see
what the Alphas did to me.Copy !req
290. What happened, Slowhand?Copy !req
291. I just came by the house
with a new karaoke CD,Copy !req
292. Steady Rocking Booty Jams. Volume Two.Copy !req
293. Suddenly, the Alpha president
barged in with his foot soldiers.Copy !req
294. First they held me down and shaved me,
then they flung me over here,Copy !req
295. and shoved me over there,Copy !req
296. and beat up my face!Copy !req
297. And then they took Beta!Copy !req
298. - Oh, and they left this.Copy !req
299. No, no, no!Copy !req
300. Frigging Alphas!
They have no respect for anything!Copy !req
301. - I'm gonna go pee out the window.
- You pee out the window?Copy !req
302. That settles it, I'm going to college.Copy !req
303. - Poor Beta.
- You drank out of his butt.Copy !req
304. What are the standards here?Copy !req
305. In my day, if the Alphas hit us,
we hit them back twice as hard!Copy !req
306. Brothers, this is war.Copy !req
307. And if that means I need to move
back into the houseCopy !req
308. for the foreseeable future, so be it.Copy !req
309. And it does mean that.Copy !req
310. - Oh, okay.
- Get my room ready, Turd!Copy !req
311. I'm in. Not— I mean, not to move in.
But to help.Copy !req
312. We won't— Probably won't need you at all.Copy !req
313. - Bob, but—
- I'll do whatever.Copy !req
314. I'm in it for the long haul, brothers!Copy !req
315. Yeah, we need Bob now more than ever!Copy !req
316. Yeah! Bob's one of us!Copy !req
317. All right, it's— All right, it's fine.
Thanks, Bob. You're in.Copy !req
318. - Let's get them!
- Yeah!Copy !req
319. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
320. Yeah, go get them!Copy !req
321. Take your time,
don't come back for a while!Copy !req
322. Betas!Copy !req
323. Room of Secrets, time to spill your guts!Copy !req
324. Oh, no.Copy !req
325. Splat.Copy !req
326. No, Beta.Copy !req
327. In the hole.Copy !req
328. Gotcha.Copy !req
329. "Due to reports of property damage,Copy !req
330. Beta Upsilon Pi fraternity
is hereby placed on probation.Copy !req
331. Signed, Dean Dixon."Copy !req
332. Stupid Dean Dixon. I hate that guy.Copy !req
333. - Is it a guy?
- He's the dean. He's nice.Copy !req
334. Well, probation or not, this isn't overCopy !req
335. until we show the Alphas
they can't get awayCopy !req
336. with disrespecting our lizard.Copy !req
337. What about Dean Dixon's letter?Copy !req
338. - Shouldn't we lay low?
- Turd's got a point.Copy !req
339. - Thank you.
- I'm one semester away from graduating.Copy !req
340. Oh, Pud, there are no jobs out there.Copy !req
341. - You know that, right?
- Listen to Bob.Copy !req
342. Even though he's technically
not even a brother.Copy !req
343. - Well, if Bob's on board...
- You know I'm on board, T-bird.Copy !req
344. - Yeah, B-bow.
- The B-T express.Copy !req
345. - Ha, ha.
- Choo-choo!Copy !req
346. - We're coming to awesome town!
- Okay.Copy !req
347. - Just two passengers today, Turd and Bob!
- Brother—Copy !req
348. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
349. Brothers, and not-really brothers,Copy !req
350. I give you...Copy !req
351. Operation Spit Take.Copy !req
352. Wow.Copy !req
353. If I can't get the secrets out,
I'm gonna put my secrets in.Copy !req
354. I have a cat under my bed.Copy !req
355. I've had it for eight months.Copy !req
356. I know about Gene's secret cat.Copy !req
357. I can't believe we'll never know
what secrets are in the Room of Secrets!Copy !req
358. Or what laundry is in the Room of Secrets.Copy !req
359. Wait a minute.
If the building's old and crappy,Copy !req
360. there might be a laundry chute.Copy !req
361. Oh, that's weird. I was correct.Copy !req
362. Ladies.Copy !req
363. Let's check out some secrets.Copy !req
364. - I'm good.
- Tina!Copy !req
365. - Yeah?
- Those aren't yours.Copy !req
366. Oh, how'd these get on?Copy !req
367. Tonight, none other than Dean Dixon
is hosting a banquetCopy !req
368. recognizing campus community service.Copy !req
369. And their guest of honor? Guess who.Copy !req
370. It's the president of those
iguana-thieving Alphas!Copy !req
371. Getting a special awardCopy !req
372. for their so-called "dedication to raising
thousands of dollars for cancer research."Copy !req
373. - Boo!
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
374. But what this douchebot doesn't know
is that an award for fighting cancerCopy !req
375. isn't all he's going to get tonight!Copy !req
376. Yeah, not if the Betas
have anything to do with it.Copy !req
377. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
378. To the Beta-mobile!Copy !req
379. - We've got Alphas to crush!
- Right.Copy !req
380. Oh, crap, the kids.Copy !req
381. You guys go ahead.Copy !req
382. I'll meet you there. Uh, Betas!Copy !req
383. Check out the past brothers.Copy !req
384. Mm. If those sideburns could talk.Copy !req
385. Here's a magazine about jugs.Copy !req
386. Their secret is they love pottery?Copy !req
387. Did I mishear them?Copy !req
388. Is this actually called
the Room of Suck-rets?Copy !req
389. No, I think we heard them correctly.
It's the Room of Secrets.Copy !req
390. Well, these secrets suck!Copy !req
391. Oh, here's Dr. Yap's class.Copy !req
392. It's Beta!Copy !req
393. And a bunch of tiny clothes.Copy !req
394. Oh, Beta's starting his own fashion line.Copy !req
395. No, dummy. This means the Alphas
never stole the iguana.Copy !req
396. Hey, you guys aren't supposed
to be in— Beta?Copy !req
397. We found him in the wall
behind Dr. Yap's class photo.Copy !req
398. Why would Beta be here in the house?Copy !req
399. Unless Yap made up that whole story.
He wouldn't.Copy !req
400. - He would. He would.
- He would.Copy !req
401. - Who would?
- Dr. Yap.Copy !req
402. - Oh, yeah, he would.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
403. We have to stop him
before he gets those kidsCopy !req
404. - kicked out of school.
- It's all right, they can move in with us.Copy !req
405. - Dibs on Turd.Copy !req
406. I can't believe it.
Yap made up the whole thing?Copy !req
407. - He's been pranking his own frat!
- It's the ones you least suspect.Copy !req
408. Sometimes. Not this time.Copy !req
409. Oh, good, Bob.
I thought you might have wussed out.Copy !req
410. You're just in time to see the Alphas
pay for taking Beta.Copy !req
411. I know what you did, Yap. It's over.Copy !req
412. Recognize this iguana?Copy !req
413. - Oh.
- Ah!Copy !req
414. - Recognize this iguana tail?
- Or these briefs?Copy !req
415. Just curious. They're mine now.Copy !req
416. Okay, Bob, you got me. I took Beta.Copy !req
417. I thought a prank war
would bring the brothers togetherCopy !req
418. - and show them how much I mean to them.
- So it wasn't the Alphas at all.Copy !req
419. Those damn Alphas
don't even know we exist.Copy !req
420. Yeah, they seem pretty focused
on their charity work.Copy !req
421. I've been TPing our house for years
just to get this thing going.Copy !req
422. Okay, this fake prank war ends now.Copy !req
423. The brothers are already
on probation, Yap.Copy !req
424. Prank the Alphas here,
and you'll get the house shut down.Copy !req
425. - So what? They'll be legends.
- Oh, no. What's the prank, Yap?Copy !req
426. Well, since you're too late to stop it,
I'll tell you.Copy !req
427. First, I dressed as a waiterCopy !req
428. and snuck into the banquet
while they were setting up.Copy !req
429. Oh, my God, how long is this story?Copy !req
430. Then I drilled a hole in the stage,Copy !req
431. and underneath, I planted
the splatter-master saliva keg!Copy !req
432. - The what? Are you insane?
- I don't know.Copy !req
433. Is it insane to collect
the spit of every patientCopy !req
434. who's passed through my office
for the past six monthsCopy !req
435. - and put it in a pony keg?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
436. - Not necessarily.
- No.Copy !req
437. Right now, all the Betas
are under the stage with the keg,Copy !req
438. waiting for that Dean Dixon
to introduce his Alpha lapdog.Copy !req
439. And when the Alpha president
steps up to the podium?Copy !req
440. - Sploosh.
- This is a great plan.Copy !req
441. - We're doing this!
- No, we're not, Louise.Copy !req
442. - Come on, Yap.
- No!Copy !req
443. It's all so easy for you, isn't it, Bob?Copy !req
444. You just moseyed into the Beta house
and stole their heartsCopy !req
445. with your hamburgers
and your perfect body.Copy !req
446. Yap, I'm sorry, okay?Copy !req
447. And I get it. The fraternity's great.Copy !req
448. It's like being in a family of guys
with beer and karaoke.Copy !req
449. Sucker punch!
- Ow! We're definitely switching dentists!Copy !req
450. - No!
- You'll never get a better family dentistCopy !req
451. who's in your provider network!Copy !req
452. Hello, I'm Dean Dixon,
and you're all expelled.Copy !req
453. Just kidding.Copy !req
454. Except for you, you're expelled.
Just kidding.Copy !req
455. Oh, God. He started his intro.
I've got to do something.Copy !req
456. You're too late, Dad.Copy !req
457. - You'll never stop it now.
- I've got to try.Copy !req
458. Uh, now I'd like to introduce
a truly outstanding young man...Copy !req
459. Me! Hello.
I am the honoree's, uh, twin brother.Copy !req
460. Hm?Copy !req
461. Not identical twins, obviously.Copy !req
462. But I'm 20 years old.Copy !req
463. Excuse me, um...Copy !req
464. That's okay, Dean. Thanks. Have a seat.
You know what I like about my brother?Copy !req
465. He's nice. He wouldn't hurt a fly,
much less—Copy !req
466. I don't know,
I'm just naming animals here— An iguana.Copy !req
467. Boo!Copy !req
468. Please have her removed.Copy !req
469. I want everyone in the room to know,Copy !req
470. even people who might be
under the stage right now,Copy !req
471. that the Alpha president
would not hurt or kidnap an iguana.Copy !req
472. - Right?
- Maybe he would!Copy !req
473. No, he wouldn't!Copy !req
474. Those are the kind of things
our crazy oldest brother would do, though.Copy !req
475. You know, our crazy,
Asian dentist older brother?Copy !req
476. I'd point him out, but I have a slow hand.Copy !req
477. A slow hand.Copy !req
478. Dad should leave the jokes to Dean Dixon.Copy !req
479. Ha, ha. Ha-ha-ha. Come on, help Dad out.Copy !req
480. Are you talking to us?Copy !req
481. Don't set off the spit keg.Copy !req
482. Um, let's go out
and ask him what he means.Copy !req
483. - Hi. How are you?
- Excuse me, who are these young men?Copy !req
484. I probably should have come
to rehearsal. But I—Copy !req
485. - No, Yap, no!Copy !req
486. Dad, um, you've got a little...Copy !req
487. On your— Bit right here.Copy !req
488. I did it! Betas!Copy !req
489. Yap, yap, yap!Copy !req
490. What are we working with?
What's going on? Are these cougars?Copy !req
491. Cougar, cougar, cougar.
Kind of a cougar-poodle mix.Copy !req
492. - Cougar-doodle.
Aw.Copy !req
493. Ah! Oh!Copy !req
494. Wow. The cougar-doodle
opened the sample case.Copy !req
495. - Yeah, they're very smart.Copy !req
496. Bobby! Why are you all wet?Copy !req
497. Wow, hi, guys.Copy !req
498. I brought the guys for burgers.
I've kind of been forgetting to feed them.Copy !req
499. Sorry Dean Dixon banned you
and Slowhand from campus.Copy !req
500. But thank you.
Because, you know, you de-Yapified us.Copy !req
501. With that guy banned from the frat,
my GPA might go up.Copy !req
502. Yeah, sorry Yap called you a nerd
for doing homework.Copy !req
503. And that I said I agreed with him.Copy !req
504. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
505. [purrs, then laughs] Woof! Woof!Copy !req
506. What is— what is happening right now?Copy !req
507. - What is this?
- Go for it, man.Copy !req
508. - I don't know what to do from here.
- Beta rules!Copy !req
509. How do you like that?Copy !req
510. Why are none of these guys interested?Copy !req
511. Whoo! Tonight everybody gets hazed!Copy !req
512. My sisters are my brothers!
I'm gonna go pee out a window!Copy !req
513. Wait, why is everybody holding vibrators?Copy !req
514. I want to go home with you,
with your bedside drawer,Copy !req
515. and live there forever.Copy !req