Bob's Burgers 4x19

1. Tina, good. Louise, ehh.

2. Gene, get the back a little. Back, back, up, down, side, side, go, go.

3. And time. Brushes down.

4. Yuck. What was that stuff?

5. - Toothpaste. - So that's toothpaste.

6. Now hurry up and floss

7. like you've been flossing every day for the past six months.

8. We don't have any floss.

9. We all agreed not to get food between our teeth.

10. Maybe Dr. Yap won't notice.

11. Oh, he'll notice.

12. Dr. Yap notices everything.

13. He's like an eagle soaring through your mouth.

14. You know, I think I'm gonna sit this one out today.

15. Not so fast, Miss Missy.

16. Those teeth are gonna get cleaned twice a year

17. until Dr. Yap stops taking our insurance.

18. Why do we even have to get our teeth cleaned?

19. What kind of a racket is that?

20. We know you hate going to the dentist,

21. but can we have this go smoothly just one time?

22. Sure, sure. Let me go get my coat.

23. - She's gonna lock herself in her room. Don't make me tackle you.

24. - Got her foot. Damn.

25. Spotless, as always, Tina.

26. We don't always have to make this about business.

27. I'm more than a mouthful of perfect teeth.

28. And off you go.

29. All right, all set.

30. I feel violated. Maybe a toy would help?

31. - Okay. You like that toy basket? - Mm-hm.

32. Toy basket is what it's all about.

33. Come on, cup n' ball, or pirate tattoo.

34. - Ooh. - Ah.

35. The old get-all-the-BBs into-all-the-holes game. A classic.

36. I'll master this when I should be brushing my teeth.

37. - That's not the idea. - Bup, bup, bup.

38. Got the toy, gonna go.

39. Well, well, well.

40. They haven't ripped up your dental license yet, huh, Dr. Yap?

41. What's it made out of? Is it hard to rip?

42. Ah. Hello, Louise.

43. Still afraid of the dentist?

44. Afraid? I'm not afraid.

45. You're afraid.

46. - You reek of fear. - Whatever you say. Scaredy-cat.

47. How about I sit in that chair for the allotted time,

48. flip through a nature mag, and you can get your easy money?

49. - Nope. - Ugh. Fine.

50. But you're in and out in two minutes, or I start biting.

51. No loitering.

52. Scrape a gum, I slap your face, got it?

53. I know the rules, Louise. You're the boss.

54. - Just in case you forgot. - All right.

55. We need you to open your mouth.

56. Okay, now just— You're doing great.

57. Just, the opposite of what I've asked you to do. Just open it.

58. - Are we done? - Almost. Just...

59. There you go.

60. Ah. Great, great.

61. Perfect, tiny opening I can see through.

62. - Hmm. - Ow!

63. That was fair. That was my bad. I didn't—

64. - You need to talk to me! - You're right. I know.

65. - It was my fault. No, I know. - You got real quiet.

66. Bob, we have a situation.

67. - Did Louise hit you? - Yes, but that's not the problem.

68. - She's got a cavity. - Wow. So, oh, Louise got her first cavity.

69. Yeah, and it's a doozy. Oh, it's so bad.

70. Look, I have a cancellation. I can do the filling right now. Boom, bam.

71. Hmm. Yeah, maybe a surprise attack is best.

72. This isn't gonna be easy. Ah.

73. I don't want to go back in there.

74. I really don't want to go back in there.

75. - Listen. You can do this. - Mm-hm. Yup. Yup.

76. - All right? - Okay.

77. - So, I'll see you later? All right. - Yup. Yup.

78. I need to stretch out a little bit.

79. Yup.

80. You know, I'm just gonna do a little trivial touchup on that second molar.

81. - What the hell's all that for? - Um, you have a cavity.

82. A cavity?

83. No, no, I'm not getting a filling.

84. Hey, fill this.

85. Hey. Hey.

86. You back off!

87. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - It's fun in there. It's fun.

88. Here's what's gonna happen, okay?

89. I'm going out this window,

90. and that's the last you'll ever see of these teeth.

91. Your parents will bring you back. You have a cavity.

92. Let them. I'll keep running.

93. Ho-ho, they'll never find me.

94. You're gonna wait ten— Hey.

95. You're gonna wait 10 minutes till you tell my dad.

96. - This is sil— Okay! All right! - What did I just say?

97. Ten minutes. I'm sorry.

98. Adios, Yap.

99. - She's gone. She ran away. - What?

100. She told me to wait 10 minutes but I'm a grown man,

101. and she's a little girl, so I waited eight.

102. You waited eight minutes to tell me my daughter ran away?

103. Don't tell Louise I didn't wait the full 10.

104. Maybe she ran away into the car.

105. Oh, no, she's gone.

106. Oh, my God.

107. Louise! - Dad, you're scaring everyone.

108. - Oh, sorry. - Yeah.

109. Louise!

110. Oh, I can't believe my baby ran away.

111. We haven't found her yet, but we're going to.

112. I don't know. She is pretty small when she crouches down.

113. She could be anywhere, and in need of semi-urgent dental care.

114. She could have fallen into a crevasse. Do we have those?

115. - How deep are they? Oh, God. - She has to come home.

116. She's 9 years old. It's not like she's thought this through.

117. Exactly where I left it.

118. Oh, right.

119. Candy cell phone.

120. I was only 7 when I packed this go bag.

121. I guess I was just a kid back then.

122. Hello? Louise, is that you? Are you dead?

123. Oh, I'm alive and well and I plan to stay that way.

124. Don't bother tracing this call, because I'm not gonna be on long enough.

125. Louise, honey, come home.

126. Only if you call off that lunatic, Dr. Yap.

127. Louise, it's your father.

128. Just come home and get the stupid filling.

129. Sorry, Dad, that's not gonna happen.

130. So, oh, jeez, I guess this is goodbye. Not how I imagined it.

131. What? Goodbye? What do you mean? We're your family.

132. Sometimes these things just don't work out.

133. - Louise, don't— - No, don't go—

134. So, Ms. Black, you want to reserve the Duchess Suite for an indefinite stay.

135. And you have one Mr. Bob Belcher's credit card.

136. Now all I need to complete this check-in is an adult.

137. Yeah. I believe this photo I.D. says I'm an adult.

138. - Yes. It says you're 43. - Yeah. Mm-hm.

139. But it's written in pencil.

140. And the background says "Wagstaff School Picture Day."

141. Wagstaff was my platoon in 'Nam.

142. Oh, man, they said there'd be people like you when I came back.

143. - Uh-huh. - Serving my country, protecting your ass.

144. I'm going to have to call the police now.

145. - What? Goodbye. - So they can give you a ride home.

146. Louise, what a surprise.

147. I'm so glad it's you and not a murderer.

148. Nope. Just me, as planned.

149. Remember?

150. No.

151. Aunt Gayle, I wrote you weeks ago about staying with you.

152. Oh, that darn mailman must be taking my letters.

153. If that's his way of getting me to notice him,

154. it's kind of working.

155. You remember the cats?

156. Do I?

157. There's this one and that one.

158. Oh, the other one.

159. Oh, they like you.

160. The farther they walk away from you, the more they like you.

161. What's going on with the plastic situation over here?

162. Are you renovating your bed?

163. I'm not such a good sleeper, so I kind of invented this little game

164. where I'm the last living person in the world.

165. Oh, does that help, or?

166. Yeah. This keeps out the radiation and the mutant carnivores

167. that prowl the earth at night, and I sleep like a baby.

168. Okay. Well, that's great.

169. I'm gonna go hit the can.

170. I'll just call your mom and let her know you got here safely.

171. No, no, no, do not do that.

172. My mom said for you to only call her if I don't get here safely.

173. - Makes sense. - Mm-hm.

174. In case I have to keep running, Cuba's that way.

175. I can just take a— Ow, ow, ow.

176. Suck it up.

177. - Hello? - Gayle, it's Linda.

178. Hey, Lin, it's me, Gayle.

179. Yeah, I know, hon. I called you.

180. Oh, okay.

181. Listen, have you seen Louise?

182. Yeah, she's here at my place.

183. Oh, thank God.

184. Bob, she's at Gayle's.

185. Yeah, it's that scheduled visit I didn't know about.

186. She ran away, Gayle.

187. Oh, my. Where'd she go?

188. - She's at your house, hon. - Oh, right.

189. She's afraid of the dentist and got a cavity

190. - and doesn't wanna get a filling. - Well, who does?

191. We'll come pick her up, but don't tell her, or she'll run.

192. Oh, good thinking, Lin.

193. - You're the smart one, I'm the hot one. - No.

194. That little dental dodger.

195. - How come Louise gets to run away? - She doesn't get to run away.

196. I want to run away.

197. Yeah, I could stand to run away.

198. It could be chapter four of my memoir,

199. right after chapter three, "Going to the Dentist."

200. No one else is running away. We just need Louise to get that filling.

201. Good luck with that.

202. Maybe it's time for a little creative parenting.

203. What do we do, Lin, bribe her to get the filling?

204. Bribe Louise? We don't have that kind of money.

205. But if she lost a bet.

206. I don't know. What's the bet?

207. Pack your bags, kids. You're running away, too.

208. Yay!

209. What the? What are you guys—

210. Guess who else is running away.

211. Us. Gene and myself.

212. What about Mom and Dad?

213. They dropped us off.

214. I'm not coming home.

215. I know. Stay at your Aunt Gayle's.

216. Great. I will. Forever. Thanks.

217. I bet you can't last the weekend without Gayle driving you nuts.

218. Bet I can. I love it here!

219. - Yeah, care to make a wager? - Sure!

220. I'll tell you what. If you last the whole weekend,

221. you don't have to get the filling, but if you crack, if you can't hack it,

222. you get the drillin' and the fillin', deal?

223. Of course it's a deal!

224. I can stay here till I'm 30!

225. It's the most fun studio apartment in the world!

226. This better work.

227. It's gonna work because we're gonna cheat.

228. - We got a man on the inside.

229. "Hi, Mom. Ready when you are. It's Tina. Tina, your daughter, Tina."

230. Okay. It's time to text Tina her first instructions.

231. We're gonna raise Gayle's crazy meter to un-fun levels.

232. Super-secret style, like a ninja.

233. This whole situation is absurd.

234. You gotta fight crazy with crazy.

235. Louise gets this from your side of the family.

236. You don't think I know that?

237. What are you doing? Stop that.

238. Go in the hole, BBs.

239. I was so close.

240. What do you have against novelty amusements, cat?

241. Hi, Aunt Gayle. So, we were wondering if you'd read us your poetry.

242. - What? - Really?

243. - What? - You kids wanna hear my poetry?

244. - Tina. - Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

245. What's happening?

246. "Happy Things We Should Send Into Space."

247. A jar of mayo

248. Magazine clippings of Scott Baio

249. That song that starts with "Day-O"

250. Little cat, you're just like me

251. You go outside and squat to pee

252. Squat! Squat!

253. Squat!

254. Squat!

255. Yeah.

256. Okay. That's— Oh, we got to stop.

257. But I'm not done. Squat!

258. - The end. - Great poems, Aunt Gayle.

259. - I'll take that. Thank you. - Wait. But I have so many more.

260. And I wanna read them.

261. Later. Alone.

262. So I don't disturb anyone when I go, "Mmm. Uh-huh. Well put. Devastating."

263. Oh, poopsicles.

264. Louise outflanked us. I think we gotta turn up the heat.

265. I haven't read any parenting books,

266. but I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be in there.

267. Parenting books? There are parenting books?

268. - I thought they were— That was a joke. - There are parenting books.

269. I should write a book.

270. I'd call it Hey, You, I Saw That. Put It Back.

271. That's— Yeah. Yup, you should do that.

272. - I know, right? Make a fortune. - Mm-hm.

273. Hey, Aunt Gayle, do your cats' claw caps come in other colors?

274. What, their Pretty Paws?

275. Of course. I got lots of colors.

276. It's just maybe Jean Paw'd Van Damme would be happier in pastel colors.

277. - It is spring, after all. - You're so right.

278. Oh, Pink Eye and Mr. Business,

279. you must be so embarrassed

280. that you're still in winter colors.

281. - Let's change 'em up. - We'll all help.

282. Yeah. If we all pitch in,

283. - it'll only take a few hours. - I'm sure you got it covered.

284. - I'm just gonna go— - Cat nail salon.

285. Louise, you hold Mr. Business. Hurry.

286. Why do I have to have Mr. Business? He's the worst one.

287. - Gene, you switch with me. - Hell no.

288. Oh, yeah. Oh, wrap 'em up with these towels,

289. because when we take the old Pretty Paws off, they tend to go for the eyes.

290. Just round 'em up. Close your eyes and dive on 'em.

291. Thanks so much for helping, kids. Now that I made 'em all pretty,

292. the pound will have to give me that fourth cat.

293. Time to get some shut-eye.

294. The apocalypse is upon us.

295. Why? Why must the world end right when I'm getting sleepy?

296. What's happening?

297. Oh, it's how she sleeps. Don't worry about it.

298. - But there is an apocalypse.

299. Every human is dead except for me.

300. Especially the men.

301. So there's no men.

302. So it's okay to sleep alone.

303. - Good night, kids. - Night, Aunt Gayle.

304. Gayle had 'em in the cat salon for hours.

305. Well, Louise has to be cracking a little, right?

306. But we need to push her over the top.

307. Hmm. Wait, wait, wait.

308. Remember when Gayle hosted a game night

309. and made us play the board game she invented?

310. Gayle Force Winds?

311. Yes. Gayle Force Winds.

312. We should get the kids to play that. It's horrible.

313. The rules don't make sense, it takes all day to play it.

314. Yes. Gayle Force Winds will drive Louise nuts.

315. - All right, sex time. - Oh, my God, right.

316. We can do that, because they're gone.

317. - Yeah... - Let's do it.

318. - Yeah. Let's go!

319. You want me to win. Yes, I did it.

320. So, what do you kids wanna do today?

321. You're looking at it, babe.

322. Okay, great. How does butter sound for lunch?

323. - Am I gonna say no to a butter lunch?

324. Aunt Gayle, I wish there was a board game that we could play

325. that stimulates the imagination

326. but that was too good

327. for the major board game companies to even touch.

328. I made a board game that stimulates the imagination,

329. but that was too good for the board game companies to even touch.

330. Oh, I got to make room.

331. What's happening now? Why are you looking at me?

332. I'm on the same moving couch as you.

333. If Louise makes it to tomorrow morning, she doesn't have to get the filling?

334. - Right. - But if Gayle's craziness drives her out,

335. - she loses. - Mm-hm.

336. And she wins because her cavity will be filled.

337. - Right. - Pretty high-level parenting.

338. - Yeah. - We know what we're doing.

339. - Pretty badass. - But what if Louise flies the coop

340. and just goes somewhere else?

341. - Oh. - You didn't even think of that?

342. - I mean, it's been— - You have no contingency plan in place?

343. Teddy, it's been mostly Linda's thing.

344. So we'll, we'll stake out Gayle's apartment.

345. Oh, a stakeout. That sounds fun.

346. Hey. Get takeout for your stakeout. Huh? Maybe you could order steak,

347. - have a takeout-steak stakeout. - I'll get the menus.

348. It's called Gayle Force Winds. It's more than just a board game.

349. It's about love and war and fantasy and plagues and fashion.

350. Cool. So how do we play it?

351. Princess Gayle must save the five realms of Worldlandia from the evil winds

352. sent by the wicked sorceress, Rebecca, who thinks she's so cute.

353. She lives upstairs. Louise, you go first.

354. Uh-oh.

355. You landed in Sponge'in Dungeon.

356. You got to sit with this wet sponge on your head

357. for 30 minutes.

358. This game seems pretty weird. Maybe we should go home.

359. I'd rather sit here with a wet sponge on my head all day

360. than get that stupid filling.

361. Nice romantic stakeout.

362. - What is that smell? - Oh.

363. - Bobby, Linda, what are you doing here? - Teddy?

364. What are you doing here?

365. I was just gonna park over there for a few hours and then,

366. I happened to see you guys, and I thought I'd just—

367. Wait, are you crashing our stakeout?

368. What? No. I brought pizza.

369. Oh, pizza. Hand it over.

370. So what'd I miss? You guys taking copious notes?

371. Can you—? Do you mind both just scooting up

372. just a little bit? A little more.

373. Is that it? That's as far as it can go? Should we all just move over to my truck?

374. - Teddy. - You know what, I'm fine.

375. I'll make it work.

376. Did you mind cracking a window?

377. Aw, man. I landed in Cold Sore-ia.

378. Oh, that's hard. You can ask Tina for some of her magic ointment.

379. But I clucked like an enchanted chicken for 20 minutes to get this magic ointment.

380. I don't know...

381. Uh-oh. Your indecision has upset the Gayle Force Winds.

382. - Everyone has to start over. - No.

383. We've been playing this game for six hours

384. and no one has even made it past the Cliffs of Huxtable.

385. - That cavity's really bothering you. - What's it to you? Whose side are you on?

386. - Don't you want me to win? - Stay cool. I'm on your side.

387. Team Louise all the way.

388. Why are you talking like that?

389. Like what? This is how I always talk.

390. Now I don't remember how I talk. Is this how I sound?

391. Never mind. Just help me get past Rebecca's monkey army.

392. Oh, Tina says Louise is losing it.

393. - Hopefully our little girl's gonna snap.

394. Yeah, let's hope it's soon. Teddy's apnea is making me sick.

395. - Oh, God. Thank God. - That one was, like, six seconds.

396. - He's breathing again. - I mean, how long before you die?

397. I did it. I made it through the weekend. I don't have to get the filling.

398. I win, I win.

399. Let's all celebrate with more sleep and no more talking.

400. Morning, sleepyheads.

401. Oh, my God, did we sleep through the night?

402. We sure did. Never slept better.

403. - Linda. Linda. - Wha—

404. Did you know that you snore?

405. What happened? Did we win? What's going on?

406. - It's morning. - Damn it.

407. That little bugger pulled it off. She beat us.

408. That's not an option, Lin.

409. She needs to get that filling or her teeth will fall out.

410. Okay. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.

411. We're gonna have to make our baby feel some pain.

412. Oh, wow. You— You did it, Louise.

413. How about a victory breakfast of ice cream?

414. Thanks, T, that's a great idea.

415. My baby.

416. Our baby.

417. We had to do it.

418. It was the only way.

419. You gonna finish that?

420. Make it stop, make it stop.

421. Knock, knock, time to pick up some runaways.

422. - Ow, ow, ow. - Oh, no, what's wrong, Louise?

423. She ate a bite of ice cream and I guess it upset her cavity.

424. Louise couldn't handle her high.

425. - Why is Teddy here? - Yeah.

426. Why are any of us here? Think about that.

427. Whoa, you kids got further

428. in Gayle Force Winds than I thought you would.

429. Wait, you knew we were playing Gayle Force Winds? Ow.

430. I didn't. I just, um...

431. What's Gayle Force Winds?

432. Oh, now I get it. You guys were behind all of this.

433. You cheated. How could you? Ow!

434. Tina helped us cheat.

435. - What? - Mom.

436. Sorry, it's true.

437. - We cheated because we love you, honey. - Yeah.

438. Oh, that is disgusting.

439. I hate you guys right now. I can't believe it.

440. Louise, you got to get that filling.

441. I'm fine! Ow!

442. Honey, now you listen to me. I know you're afraid.

443. I'm not afraid.

444. Screw it. I'm afraid, I'm afraid.

445. I know a little something about fear.

446. You've seen my life.

447. Yeah. It's bad.

448. So why don't you let Aunt Gayle help you get through this, okay?

449. We're gonna turn your fear-believe into make-believe.

450. That's not gonna work.

451. Ow. Let's do it.

452. Great. Now, what character do you wanna play?

453. - Agent Yap. - Gayle. Lookin' good.

454. - You've been briefed of the situation. - I have.

455. This is the asset I spoke about.

456. Is the asset willing to do whatever's necessary to save the universe?

457. - She is. - And the asset promises not to,

458. bite me during the procedure?

459. The asset promises.

460. Then why the hell are we out here wasting time, damn it?

461. - Let's go! - Let's go, men.

462. Sector eight, clear.

463. Sectors nine and 10, clear!

464. Ow.

465. That pain is a toxin from our enemy's ice cream serum.

466. The antidote is in this needle.

467. Ooh! Oh.

468. Oh, I don't know...

469. Okay, no. You must.

470. The whole universe is counting on you, kid.

471. Proceed.

472. Ow!

473. Very good. You should be completely numb in just a few seconds.

474. Now, this might look like ordinary porcelain filling

475. from a sad, lonely dentist's office,

476. but this is a microchip of our plans

477. for the most amazing weapon system ever.

478. Oh, wait. Wait a minute.

479. Oh, no. Our enemies are here.

480. Louise, the mission must go on.

481. Do it.

482. - Get him! - Cover me, Bobby.

483. Go, go, go. Grenade!

484. Flamethrower!

485. Okay, okay, all right, all right.

486. - I'm hit! I'm hit! - I'm taking fire here.

487. You got to call in some air support. This is crazy.

488. We get the point!

489. - Jeez. - We got you.

490. Okay. You may have shot me too many times,

491. but our cause will never die.

492. You did it, Louise.

493. I did it?

494. You did it. And it didn't inconvenience anyone, at all.

495. I'll hug him back to life.

496. - Okay, I'm fine. - Tina, he's fine. Don't do that.

497. Okay. - Almost there.

498. - No. - Almost there.

499. Let him go. Tina, get up.

500. When you get to the toy basket, get the squirt ring.

501. The squirt ring. The future depends on it.

502. Hey, you were good in there.

503. You, too. I'd do a mission with you anytime.

504. I hate to say it, but I think Gayle out-parented us.

505. Maybe we should let her watch the kids more often.

506. Oh, maybe Gayle could move in with us, be our full-time nanny.

507. I'm gonna call your bluff on that. Yes.

508. - No. No, no. - Too late. It's done.

509. - See you at home, Gayle. - Gotcha.

510. "Happy Things We Should Send Into Space."

511. A jar of mayo

512. Magazine clippings of Scott Baio

513. That song that starts with "Day-O"

514. Little cat, you're just like me

515. You go outside and squat to pee

516. Squat!

517. Squat!

518. Squat!

519. Squat!

520. Squat!

521. Squat! Squat!

522. But I'm not done

523. Squat!

524. The end.