1. Oh, boy!Copy !req
2. Minutes away from a hotel weekend.
You almost done, Teddy?Copy !req
3. Right. The big burger meet-up.Copy !req
4. Yup. The first annual gathering
of the North Atlantic Burger Lovers.Copy !req
5. It's also the first gatheringCopy !req
6. of Bob and Linda's privates,
in a hotel room, in years.Copy !req
7. Uh-huh. That and BurgerBob
finally gets to meetCopy !req
8. all his friends from the message board.Copy !req
9. - Who's BurgerBob?
- Me.Copy !req
10. - It's my online handle.
- So, just went with the first idea, huh?Copy !req
11. Where's the sitter? She's supposed to be
here by now. I wanted to go over stuff.Copy !req
12. - Hello?
- Jen, it's Linda Belcher.Copy !req
13. Did you forget you're watching
the kids this weekend?Copy !req
14. No. Uh, wait.Copy !req
15. Yeah, I must have
because I'm in France with my family.Copy !req
16. Goodbye, Linda.Copy !req
17. Crap. Jen's in France.
What are we gonna do?Copy !req
18. Gayle said she can't watch the kids
'cause she's fostering a baby chick.Copy !req
19. There's gotta be someone
who can watch the kids.Copy !req
20. - I'm someone.
- Well, we could call your cousin Vanessa.Copy !req
21. - She's in a cult.
- What, people in a cult can't babysit?Copy !req
22. - I'm not in a cult.
- Come on. There's gotta be someone.Copy !req
23. What about the checker
from the grocery store?Copy !req
24. She said the kids were cute.Copy !req
25. Oh, she smells awful.Copy !req
26. I think your kids are cute.
I'd love to watch your kids.Copy !req
27. Teddy, have you ever babysat before?Copy !req
28. Nope. I bet I'd be good at it.
And I wouldn't charge you guys.Copy !req
29. - I don't think that...
- Let's hit the friggin' road!Copy !req
30. What do you think of my walk?
I'm trying something a little different.Copy !req
31. It's bold.Copy !req
32. Whoa. Looks like Reggie's Deli has
a new delivery boy.Copy !req
33. Cold cuts just got hot.Copy !req
34. Welcome home, kids. How was your day?Copy !req
35. - Teddy? What are you doing here?
- You're not Jen.Copy !req
36. I'm watching you childrenCopy !req
37. while your mommy
and daddy are out of town.Copy !req
38. - Why are you babysitting?
- It'll be fun.Copy !req
39. - How much are they paying?
- Nothing.Copy !req
40. Really? Yikes.Copy !req
41. Uh, we'll be doing many fun things
this weekend,Copy !req
42. including dinner, roughhousing,
not too rough,Copy !req
43. brushing teeth, and going to bed.Copy !req
44. Think of me as the cool uncle
you never had.Copy !req
45. Maybe call me TJ.Copy !req
46. Probably not.Copy !req
47. So, what kind of TV are we gonna watch?Copy !req
48. I don't know. Do you like The Mentalist?
Who likes The Mentalist?Copy !req
49. Hands are not going up.Copy !req
50. Oh, boy. This isn't going
like I thought it would.Copy !req
51. Hello. We have a reservation
under "Belcher."Copy !req
52. Or maybe under "BurgerBob,"
my online name.Copy !req
53. Yes, are you folks here for
the burger conference, I'm assuming?Copy !req
54. - BurgerBob? Okay.
- We definitely are, yes.Copy !req
55. As well as a little hubby
and wife getaway.Copy !req
56. You know, bubble baths and just touching,
feeling, loving, room service.Copy !req
57. - Chocolate, wink, wink.
- Sorry, we don't have those things.Copy !req
58. But the welcome cocktail party starts now
in the Sunset Lounge.Copy !req
59. And your name badge is good
for a complimentary drink.Copy !req
60. Wonderful. Now, I did want to ask,
do you have a fax machine?Copy !req
61. We don't have a fax machine either.Copy !req
62. I wanted to fax this to the kids.Copy !req
63. - Now what?
- Can't fax.Copy !req
64. - We'll just do it Monday. We'll do it—
- Yeah, Monday it'll have to be.Copy !req
65. That's where it's all gonna happen.Copy !req
66. A little small,
a little rinky-dink, huh?Copy !req
67. Except for that tub of mayo. Ugh. Gross.Copy !req
68. - It's bad. It's a bad attitude.
- What?Copy !req
69. Hey, JustGrillin'. It's me, BurgerBob.Copy !req
70. - Oh. Hey.
- Linda, this is JustGrillin'.Copy !req
71. He's one of the guys on the burger forum.Copy !req
72. Hi, JustGrillin'.
We're chillin' with JustGrillin'.Copy !req
73. Yeah, that's my wife.Copy !req
74. So, we're just gonna drop our bags off
in the room.Copy !req
75. We'll catch you and the gang at the party.Copy !req
76. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
77. Isn't BurgerBob the guy
you were talking about?Copy !req
78. Yes. Oh, my God.
I got to text BeeferSutherland.Copy !req
79. Back from the bathroom. Was there a lull?
What are we doing?Copy !req
80. Just watching TV.Copy !req
81. All right. So, no takers on checkers?Copy !req
82. Or Chinese checkers?Copy !req
83. No checkers for me tonight.Copy !req
84. Okay, I'm just gonna fix the kitchen sink.Copy !req
85. - I noticed it's draining slow.
- Have fun.Copy !req
86. - What'd you say?
- I think we just said, "Have fun."Copy !req
87. - We'll be here. Yeah.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
88. What you got there?Copy !req
89. Oh, this? A plumber's snake.Copy !req
90. - To clear out the pipe.
- Whoa!Copy !req
91. What's the holdup with those chips?Copy !req
92. Whoa, what am I looking at?Copy !req
93. What will it find? Goop?
Probably some goop.Copy !req
94. Hey, guys, what are we doing for dinner?Copy !req
95. I know. How about sandwiches from Reggie's
Deli? Great. I'll pick them up. Bye.Copy !req
96. Hey, Reggie. Four sandwiches, please.Copy !req
97. - You got it. what you want on them?
- What?Copy !req
98. You know, I need to know cheeses, meats.
That sort of thing.Copy !req
99. - Oh, uh, surprise me.
- Okay.Copy !req
100. - That for here or to go?
- For delivery?Copy !req
101. - Delivery? But you're here.
- Just make the sandwiches, Reggie.Copy !req
102. Okay, I'm making it,
making the sandwiches.Copy !req
103. - It's okay. Here we go.Copy !req
104. Hey, Jonas, you got another delivery.Copy !req
105. Jonas.Copy !req
106. Cool keyboard.
My brother uses his to make fart sounds.Copy !req
107. Ugh. It's not a keyboard.Copy !req
108. It's a melodica.Copy !req
109. But, hey, why am I talking about itCopy !req
110. when I could be doing this?Copy !req
111. Well, get a melod-a-you.Copy !req
112. - See you.
- Back at my house.Copy !req
113. - That's were your next delivery is.
- Wait. Whoa. Hang on.Copy !req
114. If I'm delivering this to your house,
why don't you just hop on?Copy !req
115. That's a good idea that I never thought of
until you just said it.Copy !req
116. - It's happening.
- You don't have to hold me so tight.Copy !req
117. Oh, this isn't tight.Copy !req
118. I'm so hungry, I'm so hungry,
I'm so hungry. Food's here!Copy !req
119. Teddy, I don't know
if this will interest you,Copy !req
120. but Tina is riding on a death machine
with a stranger.Copy !req
121. What are you doing on the back
of a motorbike?Copy !req
122. - It's okay. I wore a helmet.
- Right, but still.Copy !req
123. Just seems like it's a gray area
between bicycle and motorcycle.Copy !req
124. - I don't know how I should react.
- Ground her.Copy !req
125. And give me all of her stuff.Copy !req
126. Next time, put a helmet on the food.Copy !req
127. My sandwich top is askew.Copy !req
128. Askew!Copy !req
129. Well, come on up soon, Tina.
It's dinnertime.Copy !req
130. Pfft. Cool dad.Copy !req
131. Oh, thanks, but he's not my dad.
He's a regular in our restaurant.Copy !req
132. And he's watching us
because my parents are out of town.Copy !req
133. Wait, wait, wait.
Your parents are out of town.Copy !req
134. - And you've got your very own restaurant?
- You're a good listener.Copy !req
135. - We should have a gathering here. Tonight.
- We should?Copy !req
136. Uh, of course, we should.Copy !req
137. I don't think I'm allowed to have a party.Copy !req
138. It's a gathering.Copy !req
139. Where like-minded young adults
come together and just gather, you know?Copy !req
140. I guess I know.Copy !req
141. I'll be there, right?Copy !req
142. - That's not too bad, right?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
143. - I'll bring my hair.
- Yeah.Copy !req
144. Okay. I punch out in an hour, 60 minutes.Copy !req
145. - And I'll tell my friends to swing by.
- Um, okay.Copy !req
146. - Hey, you good at catching things?
- Not really.Copy !req
147. Well, get good, so you can catch this.Copy !req
148. Caught it.
No, wait, I think I dropped it.Copy !req
149. See you! Damn it.Copy !req
150. Won't start.Copy !req
151. Don't look at me.Copy !req
152. I'll try not to.Copy !req
153. No promises.Copy !req
154. These people are more
than just online usernamesCopy !req
155. that I share burger tips with.Copy !req
156. It's a community. They're my people.Copy !req
157. Okay, save it for your friends, honey.Copy !req
158. Hey, Beefgeek.
You look exactly like I thought you would.Copy !req
159. - Meatcute. There she is.Copy !req
160. Oh, not a hugger. That's fine.Copy !req
161. So, here we are,
finally getting together in person.Copy !req
162. Party started! You know what we should do?Copy !req
163. Shots. I'll get them.Copy !req
164. - Don't let him ruin your weekend.
- No, no, I'm gonna say something.Copy !req
165. Hey. BeeferSutherland, it's me, BurgerBob.Copy !req
166. - So, where's your oversized luggage?
- What?Copy !req
167. What are you talking about?Copy !req
168. You must have the world's biggest suitcase
to lug your gigantic balls here.Copy !req
169. Beefer, I'm totally lost here.Copy !req
170. I'm saying it took big balls to show up
at this conference.Copy !req
171. - Big balls!
- Big balls?Copy !req
172. I don't have those.Copy !req
173. Why wouldn't I show up here?Copy !req
174. Maybe because all your posts are
either crapping on us amateursCopy !req
175. or you're bragging about
your flashy restaurant.Copy !req
176. - That's crazy. I don't do that.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
177. I asked how to get rust off
a cast-iron skillet.Copy !req
178. And you say, "Don't let it get rusty
in the first place!" All caps.Copy !req
179. Yeah. What a jerk.Copy !req
180. I was just kidding around.Copy !req
181. Then why didn't you write "LOL" or "JK"
or use an emoticon?Copy !req
182. Oh, I don't know how to use those things.Copy !req
183. Oh, come on.Copy !req
184. Trust me, my restaurant isn't flashy.Copy !req
185. We've got a funeral home
on one side of us.Copy !req
186. And I think on the other side is a guy
that sells indoor outhouses.Copy !req
187. - I bought one of those!
- Oh.Copy !req
188. - Why?
- Because it's cheaper than—Copy !req
189. Never mind.Copy !req
190. Let's get out of here
before BurgerBob yells at usCopy !req
191. with his caps lock key.Copy !req
192. - Wait, I—
- Blocked.Copy !req
193. Oh, hey, where'd everyone go?Copy !req
194. Nobody likes me.Copy !req
195. Sure, they do. Have a shot.
You'll feel better.Copy !req
196. - I don't feel like a shot, Lin.
- Do a shot. It makes you more fun.Copy !req
197. - They'll like you.
- I don't want to.Copy !req
198. I paid for five shots,
we're doing five shots.Copy !req
199. Go. Wolf it.Copy !req
200. Ooh. We hooked something big.Copy !req
201. - You smell that? It's vile.
- Yeah.Copy !req
202. But so vile you want to suck it
into your lungs, right?Copy !req
203. Ah, you getting that?Copy !req
204. What is that, sulfur?Copy !req
205. Is that Satan?Copy !req
206. It's putting up a fight.
Give me a hand here.Copy !req
207. - It's magnificent.
- It really is.Copy !req
208. Tina. We're bonding like crazy in here.Copy !req
209. - Be part of it.
- Oh, yeah. That's great.Copy !req
210. So, I'm gonna go down to the restaurant
and do some homework.Copy !req
211. It's Friday night. It's time to party.Copy !req
212. Grab the bathroom scale, let's weigh this.Copy !req
213. Maybe after I knock out
this pesky homework, huh?Copy !req
214. What are you, a bookworm? Have fun.Copy !req
215. - Who wants to taste it?
- Me.Copy !req
216. And then I want to name it
and raise it like it's our own.Copy !req
217. Maybe they won't come.
Maybe that's for the best.Copy !req
218. - I really do have homework to do.
Hey, little girl.Copy !req
219. - Psst. You.
- It's Tina.Copy !req
220. - Right.
- Well, come on in.Copy !req
221. I'm totally comfortable
with having you all here.Copy !req
222. This place is lame, right?Copy !req
223. Yeah, let's get out of here.Copy !req
224. Great gathering, Jonas.
It's the leaky gazebo all over again.Copy !req
225. No, wait. Hey.Copy !req
226. Free burgers isn't lame, right?Copy !req
227. Um, I'm really not allowed
to light the grill by myself.Copy !req
228. I could go for a cheeseburger.Copy !req
229. Cheeseburger for Marco, Tina?Copy !req
230. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
231. Okay. I'll fire up the grill.Copy !req
232. Cool, cool. Oh, hey.Copy !req
233. Did someone order some tunes?Copy !req
234. - I don't think so. Anyone order—Copy !req
235. Oh, you were just...Copy !req
236. - I'm likable. I know I am.
- Yeah.Copy !req
237. No, you have friends.Copy !req
238. - The kids like me, Teddy likes me.
- Right, Teddy.Copy !req
239. - Teddy likes you.
- My dad hates me.Copy !req
240. Not that again.Copy !req
241. What the—
They just threw an olive at me.Copy !req
242. He can't get away from my olives.Copy !req
243. Bobby, screw those burger nerds.Copy !req
244. Let's go check out the Jacuzzi.Copy !req
245. It's open till 9:45.Copy !req
246. That's nice.Copy !req
247. Isn't it? See?Copy !req
248. Even if we don't have room service
or a fax machineCopy !req
249. and everyone at the hotel hates you,Copy !req
250. we can still have a romantic getaway.Copy !req
251. Oh, no, not you guys.Copy !req
252. Come on, Beefer,
let's just come back later.Copy !req
253. And let BurgerBob win? No way.Copy !req
254. I showered and everything.
We'll just sit here and wait.Copy !req
255. Well, you're gonna be waiting a long time
'cause we're just getting comfy.Copy !req
256. Myeh, myeh, myeh.Copy !req
257. Yeah. This Jacuzzi is for members
of the Jacuzzi forum only.Copy !req
258. That's not a thing. You made that up.Copy !req
259. No, I didn't. And you are blocked.Copy !req
260. A nice thick layer of chocolate squares
make up the base.Copy !req
261. A couple of handfuls of crushed pretzels.Copy !req
262. Top it all off with marshmallows, and...Copy !req
263. Whoa!Copy !req
264. Voila. Teddy Brûlée.Copy !req
265. Finally, arson and food together.Copy !req
266. Teddy, can I play with that blowtorch?Copy !req
267. - Just want to inspect it, learn about it.Copy !req
268. Yeah, sure. Here you go.
Hold on. You hear that?Copy !req
269. - Nope.
- Sounds like an accordion but worse.Copy !req
270. - Nope, in your head.
- Nope, it's downstairs.Copy !req
271. No, in your head upstairs.Copy !req
272. Sorry, folks, private party.Copy !req
273. Yeah? I think we're on the list.Copy !req
274. - Right, Tina?
- Uh...Copy !req
275. - Yeah.
- Tina, Tina, Tina.Copy !req
276. You're supposed to be the good one.Copy !req
277. Somewhere there's
a convenience store parking lotCopy !req
278. worried sick about these teens.Copy !req
279. Tina, you're putting me in a tough spot.
You're not allowed to have friendsCopy !req
280. - down here this late at night.
- Dude, with that kind of attitude,Copy !req
281. you're only gonna raise
your blood pressure to unsafe levels.Copy !req
282. Don't lecture me about my blood pressure!
I'm predisposed to like salty foods.Copy !req
283. Out. Everybody out
of my friend's restaurant.Copy !req
284. Oh, my God.Copy !req
285. Teddy, could you embarrass me anymore?Copy !req
286. Oh, that's a great question,
and the answer is yes.Copy !req
287. Please start. Please start.Copy !req
288. - Oh, thank God.
- Let's just go to the cove.Copy !req
289. The cove?
- It's the cove by the lighthouse.Copy !req
290. - Come by if you want.
- I know that place.Copy !req
291. It's the cove by the lighthouse.Copy !req
292. And, hey, if you come,
bring some burgers with you?Copy !req
293. Here's a little one.Copy !req
294. - Got it.
- Little mouth burger.Copy !req
295. We just got our goop baby to sleep,
and we had to come downstairsCopy !req
296. to deal with this?Copy !req
297. We are very disappointed.Copy !req
298. Tina, I have no idea
what's gotten into you.Copy !req
299. You can't stop what's happening.
Jonas likes me. He invited me outCopy !req
300. - with his friends, and I wanna go.
- Sorry, Tina.Copy !req
301. You're 13 years old, it's 9:00,
you're in for the night.Copy !req
302. My temporary house, my temporary rules.Copy !req
303. You don't like it?
There's the door that you can't go out!Copy !req
304. I hate your temporary rules.Copy !req
305. You're not my dad, Teddy.Copy !req
306. Or my mom. Or my uncle.Copy !req
307. And I don't think you're my godfather.
I don't think I have one.Copy !req
308. I'm coming, Jonas.Copy !req
309. You're right, box. The ladder did install
in less than 30 seconds.Copy !req
310. Hey, guys.Copy !req
311. I made it. Now it's a party.Copy !req
312. - And I brought burgers.
- Nice!Copy !req
313. Not from our restaurant
because I couldn't get the key.Copy !req
314. - That melodica's not gonna play itself.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
315. No. No.Copy !req
316. - No, no, no.
- Great.Copy !req
317. Wow, it's almost like music.Copy !req
318. - Belcher residence.
- Teddy, it's Bob.Copy !req
319. Wait, I called your cell phone.
Why'd you say Belcher residence?Copy !req
320. Just to be respectful.
How's the conference?Copy !req
321. Uh, it's complicated.Copy !req
322. - How's it going over there?
- It's complicated.Copy !req
323. What? Teddy, I can say it's complicated.Copy !req
324. You can't say it's complicated.
You're watching my kids.Copy !req
325. - Sorry, Bob.
- So, is it complicated, Teddy?Copy !req
326. No, it's great.Copy !req
327. - You wanna talk to the kids?
- Not really.Copy !req
328. - You sure? I can put them on.
- Yeah.Copy !req
329. - Yeah, go, yeah, all right.
- Okay.Copy !req
330. Louise is asleep.Copy !req
331. Gene's asleep.Copy !req
332. And Tina's—Copy !req
333. Asleep. Tina's asleep, Bobby.Copy !req
334. All right, let her sleep.Copy !req
335. - We'll talk to them in the morning.
- Okay.Copy !req
336. I'll happily put on TinaCopy !req
337. - if you want to talk to her right now.
- Let her sleep.Copy !req
338. I will wake her up with a bucket of water
and a cowbell to make you happy.Copy !req
339. You want to talk to your daughter?Copy !req
340. Teddy. It's okay. Stop.
I'm hanging up now.Copy !req
341. - Go to bed.
- Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
342. Oh, this is bad. This is terrible.Copy !req
343. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hey, you woke us up.Copy !req
344. What gives, Teddy?
We need our sleep. We're so little.Copy !req
345. Tina's missing, Louise.Copy !req
346. More like kissing. You know.Copy !req
347. Jonas. The sandwich boy.Copy !req
348. Ugh. The sign says to limit
your soak time to 15 minutes.Copy !req
349. That sign says, "No running,"
and you're running your mouth, MeatCute.Copy !req
350. I bought these trunks for this conference.Copy !req
351. I'm not bringing them home dry!Copy !req
352. - They're gonna be damp at the very least.
- Screw these guys.Copy !req
353. - Let's just get in there with them.
- Like hell you will!Copy !req
354. - Back it up.
- Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
355. Easy now.Copy !req
356. - Oh, no, you don't.
- Hey, hey.Copy !req
357. - We never get a weekend away.
- Hey, don't touch me.Copy !req
358. This is all the vacation we have left,
and you're not getting it!Copy !req
359. I'll go right, you go left.Copy !req
360. Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
361. - Ooh, splashing. Good idea.
- I know.Copy !req
362. Excuse me. Excuse me.
What is going on here?Copy !req
363. - Stay out of this.
- Give me that.Copy !req
364. These people are jabbing us
and harassing us.Copy !req
365. And they've been in there for an hour!Copy !req
366. An hour? That's crazy.Copy !req
367. We just got here.Copy !req
368. Oh, really? Hmm. Prune-y.Copy !req
369. I've had a bad feeling about you two
ever since check-in.Copy !req
370. That's it. Please exit the hot tub
so these people may enjoy it.Copy !req
371. - Fine. Okay, we'll leave.
- Really?Copy !req
372. Yeah. We're all grown-ups here.Copy !req
373. Thank you.Copy !req
374. Bye-bye, BurgerBob.Copy !req
375. Oh, that jet is right on my back.Copy !req
376. Oh, that's a lumbar paradise.Copy !req
377. I trust your conference is
going well otherwise.Copy !req
378. I'm not completely dissatisfied.Copy !req
379. Hope you like your Jacuzzi
with extra relish.Copy !req
380. And mayo.Copy !req
381. LOL.Copy !req
382. Laugh on loudly!Copy !req
383. - And post.
- That's it. I'm calling security.Copy !req
384. Good, we're leaving anyway.Copy !req
385. - Yeah. And get a fax machine.
Oh, go fax yourself!Copy !req
386. Stop.Copy !req
387. Stop.Copy !req
388. - Stop, Jonas.
- No one likes that except the girl.Copy !req
389. - And she's probably had enough, right?
- It's okay, I guess.Copy !req
390. - Stop if you want to stop though.
- What about, um...?Copy !req
391. Let's break into the lighthouse
and make shadow puppets onto the fog.Copy !req
392. - Eh.
- Well, no one else is coming upCopy !req
393. with ideas, Marco.Copy !req
394. I'll break into the lighthouse with you
without the melodica.Copy !req
395. - How do we get in?
- Through that window up there.Copy !req
396. One of us can go inCopy !req
397. and then unlock the front door
for the rest of us.Copy !req
398. - Terrible plan.
- Seriously, Clay?Copy !req
399. Yeah, seriously, Clay?Copy !req
400. - It looks like a tight squeeze.
- I'll do it. I can fit.Copy !req
401. Uh, okay, sure. I'll give you a boost.Copy !req
402. You've got strong arms.Copy !req
403. Must be delivering all those sandwiches.Copy !req
404. Yeah. Can you reach the window?Copy !req
405. Uh, I have to step on your head.Copy !req
406. Ow. Ow.Copy !req
407. - Cops. Run!Copy !req
408. Wait. Jonas, wait for me.Copy !req
409. Uh...Copy !req
410. Gotcha!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
411. All right, come on out.Copy !req
412. Oh, this isn't my house.Copy !req
413. What the hell were you doing
in the lighthouse?Copy !req
414. I was gonna make shadow puppets
to amuse the ships at sea?Copy !req
415. Oh, you think this is funny?Copy !req
416. - Some ship sees a huge dog in the fog?
- I don't know how to make a dog.Copy !req
417. - Everybody knows how to make a dog!
- Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
418. All right, smart-ass,
let's call your parents,Copy !req
419. - so they can pick you up.
- My parents are out of town.Copy !req
420. Well, looks like you'll be spending
the night at the station.Copy !req
421. Uh, the police station?Copy !req
422. No, the ranger station.Copy !req
423. It's the same,
but we have a foosball table.Copy !req
424. Reggie. Reggie. Open up!Copy !req
425. You can't wait till morning
for a nice sandwich?Copy !req
426. My oldest temporary niece Tina ran off
with your delivery boy.Copy !req
427. - I'm not blaming you, but I'm blaming you!
- Where are they, Reggie? Where are they?Copy !req
428. - Jonas would sell you out in a hot second.
- You can't even look us in the eyes!Copy !req
429. - Where are they, Reggie?
- Well, for a while,Copy !req
430. him and his friends liked
to hang out in my gazebo.Copy !req
431. But then, one night, it rains,Copy !req
432. and it leaks a tiny bit,
and they wouldn't shut up about it.Copy !req
433. Like I'm the jerk.Copy !req
434. I think they go to the cove
by the lighthouse.Copy !req
435. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
436. Wait, I want to see this gazebo.Copy !req
437. The gazebo that cold cuts built.Copy !req
438. No, no, no, we got no time for gazebos.Copy !req
439. Okay, we'll take a quick look.Copy !req
440. Go out! I'm dumping sand on you.Copy !req
441. - Go out.
- Excuse me, officer.Copy !req
442. Have you seen a bunch
of teenagers around here?Copy !req
443. They're of the dorky variety.Copy !req
444. - Yup. I apprehended one of them.
- Tina!Copy !req
445. - Hi, Teddy.
- Oh, you know this girl?Copy !req
446. Yes, I do. I'm her weekend guardian.Copy !req
447. Well, I caught her trespassing
in the lighthouse.Copy !req
448. You got to let her go, officer.Copy !req
449. I could do that, or I could let her spend
the night behind bars.Copy !req
450. No, Ranger Dainko. Is it Ranger Dainko?
What's your first name?Copy !req
451. - Matthew.
- Matthew Dainko.Copy !req
452. That's a pretty name.
Look, I've only been an uncle for a day.Copy !req
453. I guess I couldn't handle the job.Copy !req
454. If anyone should spend the night
in teen ranger jail, it should be me.Copy !req
455. It's not teen ranger jail,
it's just ranger jail.Copy !req
456. Maybe she didn't do
the right thing tonight,Copy !req
457. but she's got heart, this one,
and she follows it.Copy !req
458. She's a mixed-up kid who's going
through a ton of puberty right now.Copy !req
459. - Am I right, Tina?
- Yes.Copy !req
460. And then some.Copy !req
461. Well, it's not that simple.Copy !req
462. There's a form involved,
two signatures and an initial.Copy !req
463. - You got to sign here. And again here.
- Okay. Right.Copy !req
464. - And initial here.
- Right. Okay.Copy !req
465. So, just anywhere?Copy !req
466. No, where it says guardian.Copy !req
467. So, at the bottom?Copy !req
468. No, on the line.Copy !req
469. So, just anywhere on the form?Copy !req
470. - Just write—
- No— Anywhere.Copy !req
471. Just— Okay, just never mind. Forget it!Copy !req
472. I was so worried about you, Tina.Copy !req
473. I'm sorry, Teddy.
I shouldn't have snuck out.Copy !req
474. Thanks for getting me out
of ranger danger.Copy !req
475. I don't think
I would have made it in the joint.Copy !req
476. Jonas, you came back for me.Copy !req
477. Uh... Yeah. And this.Copy !req
478. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You didn't come back for Tina.Copy !req
479. You came back for your moped.Copy !req
480. You used Tina for free burgers,Copy !req
481. then you hung her out to dry
when Ranger Matthew Dainko came.Copy !req
482. Oh, God, you did, didn't you?Copy !req
483. She's too good for you.Copy !req
484. But good enough for a lot of guys.Copy !req
485. Which makes you the worst, Jone-ass!Copy !req
486. Okay, I'll keep that in mind
as I ride away.Copy !req
487. - Oh, no, you don't.Copy !req
488. - Hey!
- Nobody messesCopy !req
489. with my temporary niece.Copy !req
490. - Yeah!
- No!Copy !req
491. Oh. Oh, that's bad.
Tell you what. Instant regret.Copy !req
492. I cannot believe I did that.Copy !req
493. Talk about losing your cool, Teddy.Copy !req
494. You're gonna have a lot to talk
about this week in therapy.Copy !req
495. Right? Eh. "Did you lose your cool?"Copy !req
496. "A little bit, doc.
A little bit I lost my cool."Copy !req
497. Hey, we should call TeddyCopy !req
498. and let him know
we're coming home early.Copy !req
499. - Hello.
- Teddy. Hey, it's Linda.Copy !req
500. You're on speakerphone.Copy !req
501. Hey, Teddy. The conference was a bust.Copy !req
502. - We're coming home early.
- Oh, goodie. How early is early?Copy !req
503. We'll be home in 15 minutes.Copy !req
504. Okay, great.
Your parents are 15 minutes away.Copy !req
505. If we hurry, we can beat them home
and pretend nothing happened.Copy !req
506. Teddy?Copy !req
507. - Yeah?
- We just heard everything you said.Copy !req
508. - No, you didn't. I had it on mute.
- You didn't.Copy !req
509. - No, I definitely tried to press it.
- Wait. Are you at the beach?Copy !req
510. - No.
- We can see you.Copy !req
511. That's them right there.
- Oh, yeah. Hey, Bobby.Copy !req
512. What is that kid doing in the water?Copy !req
513. Rescuing a drowning moped.Copy !req
514. Oh, God, it's late.
Bedtime, kids. Bedtime.Copy !req
515. Anything you say, Uncle Teddy.Copy !req