1. MISS CACCIATORE,
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2. ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP,
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3. OF FLUNKING OUT.
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4. MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S
A DICK.
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5. YOU'RE PRE-MED
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6. YET YOU HAVEN'T ATTENDED
A SINGLE LAB.
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7. WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?
- I'M YOUR DEAN!
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8. - OH YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, I SEE STUDENTS
LIKE YOU EVERY YEAR.
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9. IS A FOUR-YEAR PARTY.
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10. WELL, I MEAN, I'M STANDING
SMELL THE ALCOHOL OFF YOU.
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11. IT'S HOT.
I'M SWEATING IT OUT.
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12. YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU NEED
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13. IS REALLY ABOUT.
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14. CHECK THIS OUT.
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15. MOVIES!
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16. I LOVE MOVIES.
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17. I am BMS.
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18. I am BMS.
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19. We are BMS.
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20. I am BMS.
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21. Hi, I'm Dean Simon.
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22. Enroll now and score
a touchdown in education.
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23. GOD, THAT WAS GOOD.
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24. I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING,
MISS CACCIATORE,
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25. - MISS CACCIATORE!
REAL QUICK.
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26. - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?
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27. YOU BETTER HOLD ON.
THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.
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28. SOMEONE DRINK WITH ME!
COME ON.
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29. - I'M IN.
- YES.
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30. MARY JO, WHY AREN'T
YOU DRINKING WITH HIM?
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31. ON ACADEMIC PROBATION.
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32. WAIT, THEY HAVE THAT HERE?
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33. - APPARENTLY.
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34. I GOT IT.
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35. FOR ALEX MORAN.
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36. WHAT'D YOU SAY, GLASSES?
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37. I'M HAVING TROUBLE
THICK GLASSES, GLASSES.
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38. WHOA WHOA WHOA.
COME ON, HEY.
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39. THANKS, GARY.
WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?
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40. - LEARN SOMETHING.
- WHOA, ARE YOU GIVING HIM
SASS, GLASSES?
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41. - 'CAUSE I'LL BREAK
- OKAY, YEAH.
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42. APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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43. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
- YEAH.
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44. THAT NERD'S A NERD, MAN.
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45. JOCKS LIKE US DON'T TALK
TO NERDS, WE PRANK THEM.
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46. SAMMY, YOU'RE NOT A JOCK.
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47. GOOD ONE.
I'M NOT A JOCK.
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48. WHO'S PRANKING WHO NOW?
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49. EXCUSE ME.
STOP TALKING.
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50. LOOK AT ME.
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51. YOUR COMBINED TEAM G.P.A.
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52. IS THE HIGHEST IN B.M.S.
FOOTBALL HISTORY.
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53. - WHAT'S A G.P.A.?
- WHO ARE YOU?
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54. - I AM YOUR DEAN.
- OH.
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55. I'M LOOKING FOR ALEX MORAN.
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56. - UH-OH.
- RELAX.
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57. YOU'RE NOT BEING PUNISHED.
YOU'RE BEING PUBLISHED.
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58. YOUR PAPER,
"SUPERMAN'S BROTHER:
AN EXPANDED THEORY OF REALITY,"
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59. THE ACADEMIC COMMUNITY.
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60. COOL.
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61. TELL ME, WITH ALL
OF YOUR PRACTICES,
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62. PIECE OF WORK?
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63. IT HAPPENED, I GUESS.
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64. WELL, WE ARE GOING
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65. IN YOUR HONOR.
AND...
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66. ON THIS PAPER.
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67. THE PAPER, CORRECT?
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68. I MEAN, I'D HATE
TO FIND OUT OTHERWISE.
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69. YEAH, I— I ACCEPT
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70. - AND I'LL DO
YOUR PRESENTATION.
- GREAT!
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71. - COOL.
- Radon: THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
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72. IT'S NOT IMPRESSIVE.
HE DIDN'T DO SHIT.
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73. EVERYTHING FOR HIM.
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74. WAIT, YOU GUYS
GOT NERDS HERE?
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75. WE DON'T GOT THOSE
IN DETROIT.
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76. THEIR WORK FOR THEM.
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77. EVEN YOU.
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78. I HAVE MY OWN NERD?
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79. COACH, YOU SHOULD BE
VERY PROUD OF YOUR PLAYERS.
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80. SHUT UP AND GET OUT.
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81. DO IT! DO IT!
DO IT! DO IT!
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82. GARY!
HEY, YOU MADE IT.
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83. - THAT'S FOR YOU.
- WHAT'S THIS?
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84. OH, YOU KNOW
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85. "SUPERMAN'S BROTHER"?
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86. - IT'S BEING PUBLISHED.
- NO WAY!
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87. YES WAY, YES.
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88. IN MY HONOR,
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89. ATTENTION, IF YOU ASK ME.
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90. A LITTLE, THAT'D BE GREAT.
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91. DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THE PRESENTATION.
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92. - GOOD.
- THIS IS SO EXCITING.
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93. I KNOW.
I'M OVER THE MOON.
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94. HEY, WHICH ONE
IS RADON RANDELL'S NERD?
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95. I KNOW YOU'RE ALL
HERE SOMEWHERE.
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96. OH SHIT!
YOU'RE MY NERD!
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97. WHOO!
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU EXISTED, MAN.
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98. OR SOMETHING.
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99. LIKE YOU'D
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100. UNDER THE PROFESSOR'S PILLOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
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101. - NO.
- MY NERD! MY NERD!
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102. I FOUND— I FOUND MY NERD!
WE ABOUT TO GO GET DRUNK.
COME ON, MAN.
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103. YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?
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104. NERDS AND JOCKS HANGING OUT TOGETHER.
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105. IT'S DISGUSTING.
IT'S GROSS.
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106. YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE
ENTIRE PARTY, RIGHT?
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107. LABELS, MAN—
PEOPLE CALLING YOU A NERD;
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108. ON THE EARTH.
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109. WE JUST PEOPLE, MAN.
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110. AND COME BACK,
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111. AS WHATEVER WE WANT.
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112. I'M GONNA COME BACK
AS A RARE FERRARI.
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113. - I DON'T FEEL GOOD.
- GO TAKE A NAP.
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114. ANY BED YOU WANT.
IT'S ALL GOOD.
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115. HEY, YOU WANT ME TO SING
TO YOU OR SOME SHIT?
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116. I DON'T REALLY KNOW
HOW NERDS GO TO SLEEP.
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117. NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
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118. I LOVE YOU,
MY NERD BROTHER.
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119. LOVE YOU TOO,
RADON.
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120. THIS IS A WATERBED.
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121. BEST PRANK EVER.
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122. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO WET.
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123. WHOA, SO WHAT HAPPENED
TO NO MORE PARTYING?
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124. ALEX, I HAVE MONTHS
OF WORK TO CATCH UP ON.
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125. WEED HELPS ME FOCUS.
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126. OH MY GOD, MY WATERBED!
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127. - MY FRIEND!
- MY NERD!
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128. MAN, SOMEBODY DROWNED
MY NERD.
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129. THERE'S NO PERMANENT DAMAGE,
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130. BUT THERE'S NO TELLING
WILL LAST.
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131. IT'S JUST SOMETHING
TO REMEMBER HIM BY.
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132. NERDS, WE GOT YOU THIS.
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133. NO?
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134. MAYBE LATER.
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135. FOR YOUR LOSS.
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136. WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE
HURTING RIGHT NOW.
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137. OFF OF OUR HOMEWORK.
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138. BUT IT'S STILL DUE
THIS WEEK THOUGH, SO IF—
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139. NEANDERTHALS DID THIS?
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140. HEY, WE'RE ALL
HURTING RIGHT NOW.
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141. I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
LARRY'S WATERBED
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142. UNTIL MINE GETS FIXED.
THERE'S PAIN EVERYWHERE.
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143. THAT'S IT.
I'M SICK OF US BEING TREATED
AS SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS.
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144. - WHOA.
HOMEWORK EVER AGAIN.
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145. - WHAT?
- I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH
IT ALMOST GETS US LAID.
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146. NERDS, MAKE IT SO.
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147. THERE'S A PROTRACTOR
IN THERE!
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148. SMART, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
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149. GOOD.
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150. I DIDN'T EVEN WRITE CALLED
"SUPERMAN'S BROTHER."
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151. SUPERMAN DIDN'T HAVE
A BROTHER.
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152. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT TOO.
I'M SO CONFUSED.
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153. I HAVEN'T
EVEN READ THE PAPER.
I CAN'T GET THE PAPER.
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154. THE PAPER. THEY DON'T WANT
TO EXPLAIN THE PAPER.
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155. THEY DON'T EXPLAIN
WHAT'S IN THE BOX.
WHAT IS THIS? LOOK.
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156. "BLACK POWER"?
REALLY?
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157. - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.
- ALEX!
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158. RELAX.
YOU JUST NEED TO FOCUS.
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159. AHEM.
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160. I'LL PACK MY BONG.
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161. SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
I GOT HEURISTICS HOMEWORK DUE.
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162. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT HEURISTICS IS.
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163. WE'LL JUST GET
SOME NEW NERDS.
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164. GO TO THIS SCHOOL?
LITERALLY BILLIONS.
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165. AH!
WHAT THE HELLSIES?
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166. TROT EVANS?
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167. DOING ON OUR TURF?
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
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168. YEAH WELL, THE RULES CHANGED
OUR HOMEWORK, BRO.
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169. SO NOW YOU'RE
GONNA DO IT.
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170. THE BASEBALL TEAM'S
HOMEWORK TOO, BRO?
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171. IT'S CAMPUS-WIDE, BRO.
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172. IS ON STRIKE.
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173. - BRO?
- BRO.
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174. - BRO.
THAN I THOUGHT.
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175. I'M CALLING A MEETING
OF THE B.M.S. CAPTAINS.
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176. CAPTAINS OF B.M.S.,
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177. OF THE CURRENT NERD CRISIS.
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178. IF THIS ISN'T RESOLVED
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179. DOING OUR HOMEWORK.
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180. I'D LIKE TO OPEN THE FLOOR
TO ANY SOLUTIONS YOU MAY HAVE.
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181. BRYCE WOODSY, TENNIS TEAM.
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182. BE FOOD HERE?
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183. UM, YEAH.
FOOD COMING, BRYCE.
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184. OF KNUCKLE SANDWICHES.
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185. DO YOU WANT ONE?
SANDWICH?
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186. - I'M GOOD.
- THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
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187. NOW, DOES ANYONE HAVE
ANY SOLUTIONS?
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188. LUCY WILLIAMS, VOLLEYBALL.
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189. WAS FOR SPORTS CAPTAINS,
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190. SO WHY IS GOLF HERE?
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191. HEY, GOLF IS A SPORT.
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192. - IT'S A HOBBY.
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193. - IT'S MORE LIKE
CHESS OR CHECKERS.
- IT'S NOT A SPORT.
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194. GUYS, THE NERD CRISIS!
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195. CLAUDE CHAVALIER, HOCKEY TEAM.
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196. I DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD
YOU'RE SAYING, BRO.
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197. LIKE NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.
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198. NOT A WORD.
I DIDN'T—
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199. SAMMY CACCIATORE,
SPIRIT SQUAD.
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200. PRANKING.
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201. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, BRO?
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202. I'M THE JOCK WHO PUT
THAT NERD IN A COMA.
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203. THAT'S WHO I AM,
TOUGH GUY.
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204. - THAT WAS YOU?
- YUP.
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205. WHY?
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206. BECAUSE SCREW THEM.
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207. THAT'S WHY.
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208. OKAY, SO LET'S REVIEW
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209. 'CAUSE I THINK WE WERE
GREAT STUFF SO FAR.
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210. - MALCOLM X...
- YEAH.
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211. - ... IS DEAD.
- YEAH.
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212. AS A DOORKNOB.
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213. - I LIKE THAT.
- BUT...
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214. THROUGH TIME AND SPACE.
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215. WHICH IS WHERE SUPERMAN'S—
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216. SUPERMAN COMES FROM.
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217. ALEX.
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218. ALEX, AND IF SUPERMAN
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219. THEN SO IS HIS BROTHER.
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220. YES!
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221. - I LIKE THAT.
- I THINK WE GOT IT.
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222. YOU GUYS WANTED TO SEE US?
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223. RADON?
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224. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
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225. SOLIDARITY, BROTHER.
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226. SOLIDARITY.
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227. OKAY, FIRST OF ALL
I'D LIKE TO SAY
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228. BEEN HARD ON ALL OF US.
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229. ESPECIALLY ME.
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230. WILL BE HAPPY WITH.
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231. PRANKED, NERDS.
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232. HE'S THE ONE YOU WANT.
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233. HE'S THE ONE THAT PUT
YOUR NERD IN A COMA.
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234. - YOU!
- TAKE HIM, HE'S YOURS.
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235. WE'LL LEAVE
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236. AND BID YOU A FOND ADIEU.
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237. HEY, YOU CAN'T DO THIS,
YOU TRAITORS!
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238. YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
I'LL PUT YOU IN A COMA!
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239. ALL PUT YOU ALL IN COMAS!
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240. MARTY.
THE PLEASURE?
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241. SO WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON?
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242. LATE FOR PRACTICE TODAY.
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243. YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE THEY'RE
DOING HOMEWORK.
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244. - THEY'RE STUDENTS FIRST, MARTY.
- WE HAD AN UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT.
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245. AND ALL I ASK YOU TO DO
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246. THE GRADES THEY GET.
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247. FOR FAR TOO LONG.
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248. CREDIT FOR?
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249. I GET IT NOW.
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250. HOMEWORK BOYCOTT,
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251. YOU PUT 'EM UP TO IT.
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252. TOWARD REDEMPTION.
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253. TOMORROW, ONE OF YOUR PLAYERS
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254. THAT HE DIDN'T WRITE
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255. AND HE WILL BE EXPOSED.
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256. AND THINGS WILL CHANGE.
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257. FOR A REASON, NERD.
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258. MUST COME TO AN END, JOCK.
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259. NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFICE.
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260. OKAY, SO WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN?
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261. ON YOUR WIZARD.
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262. NO MAN, I REVERSED THAT.
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263. OUT WITH MY WIZARD STICK.
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264. WHAT IS THIS?
AREN'T YOU NERDS GONNA GET
REVENGE ON ME OR SOMETHING?
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265. YOU'RE ONE OF US, SAMMY.
AND NERDS DON'T HURT
OTHER NERDS.
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266. STOP SAYING THAT.
I'M NOT A NERD.
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267. YES YOU ARE.
LOOK AT YOU.
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268. - YOU'RE SMALL AS SHIT.
- SO WAS DOUG FLUTIE.
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269. - YOU HAVE NO ATHLETIC ABILITY.
- I'D ARGUE THAT.
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270. YOU RARELY GET LAID.
YOU DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK.
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271. YOU'RE UNCONCERNED
WITH YOUR PERSONAL HYGIENE.
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272. YEAH, MAN.
YOU DRESS.
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273. YOU AIN'T GOT
NO STYLE.
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274. AND THE B.M.S. CAPTAINS
SOLD YOU OUT. PFFT!
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275. OH MY GOD.
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276. I'M A NERD.
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277. HEY, NERDVILLE
IS NOT THAT BAD.
IT'S OKAY.
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278. THOSE JOCKS AREN'T GONNA
GET AWAY WITH THIS.
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279. I'M JUST AS ANGRY AS YOU ARE,
SAMMY, BUT THERE'S NOTHING
THAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
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280. OH, THERE'S SOMETHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
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281. AND IT'S CALLED THE MASTER
OF ALL PRANKS.
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282. OH SHIT! WE'RE LATE.
WAKE UP.
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283. - MARY JO, WAKE UP.
- ALEX.
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284. - WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?
- I GOT HERE LAST NIGHT.
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285. WE FIGURED THIS OUT.
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286. RIGHT?
DID WE FIGURE THIS OUT?
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287. WHAT WE FIGURED OUT?
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288. NO.
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289. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
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290. - YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD.
- ALL RIGHT.
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291. DID WE...?
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292. IF WE DON'T REMEMBER...
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293. IT DOESN'T COUNT?
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294. MY FAVORITE SUBJECT?
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295. UM, ENGLISH,
'CAUSE I LOVE WORDS.
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296. I LOVE HEARING THEM.
I LOVE SAYING THEM.
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297. EXAMPLE OF A SENTENCE.
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298. SEE, THAT'S WHAT
I JUST DID.
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299. I'VE BEEN DOING IT
MY WHOLE LIFE. I'M GETTING
PRETTY GOOD NOW.
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300. I ALSO LIKE PARAGRAPHS.
I LOVE COMMAS.
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301. THE DOT UNDERNEATH.
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302. SAMMY, THIS MASTER PRANK,
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303. NEEDS TO BE MADE HERE,
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304. DO A BETTER JOB.
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305. GARY, I'M RUNNING
THE SHOW NOW, OKAY, PAL?
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306. THEY'RE NOT GETTING AWAY
WITH PUTTING AL IN A COMA.
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307. BUT YOU PUT AL
IN A COMA.
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308. HE HAD IT COMING.
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309. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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310. I AM YOUR DEAN.
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311. OF ENLIGHTENMENT.
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312. TODAY I'D LIKE
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313. FLOWERS IN MY GARDEN.
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314. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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315. FOR ALEX MORAN.
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316. - I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
- YES YOU CAN.
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317. - I CAN'T—
- TRUST THE WEED.
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318. SUCKER.
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319. NERD!
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320. - HI.
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321. THANK YOU, DEAN.
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322. WHAT IS A PRESENTATION?
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323. UH...
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324. - SUPERMAN WOULD KNOW THAT.
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325. TO ASIA?
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326. PROBABLY.
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327. HE FLIES AROUND A LOT.
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328. YES!
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329. THE RUBIK'S CUBE.
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330. TO BE ABOUT WORMHOLES?
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331. SUPERMAN IS, UH...
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332. YOU KNOW,
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333. WHO SITS IN HIS SHADOW.
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334. SURE, HE CAN'T THROW
SUPERMAN CAN, RIGHT?
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335. SHOULDN'T BE APPRECIATED?
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336. NO WAY.
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337. I'VE GOT TO MAKE.
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338. HE'S GONNA CONFESS.
WE GOT TO CALL IT OFF.
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339. THAT'S THE GO SIGNAL
FROM GARY.
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340. - LET'S DO THIS.
- DON'T DO IT, SON.
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341. IT WASN'T ME WHO—
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342. Since the beginning
of time,
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343. the nerd has been
oppressed by the jock.
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344. That ends today.
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345. And I want you to look
deep into the face
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346. of the nerd
who's gonna do it.
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347. IT'S OUR HOMEWORK.
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348. NERD.
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349. GARY, I'M SORRY ABOUT
EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED.
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350. ALL RIGHT?
I'M GONNA MAKE IT
UP TO YOU.
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351. GARY, THIS IS LISA;
LISA, THIS IS GARY.
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352. - HEY.
- HAVE FUN.
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353. Mary Jo:
THAT WAS SWEET OF YOU.
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354. THANKS.
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355. WOW.
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356. OUT FOR EVERYONE.
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357. - DIDN'T IT?
- YEAH.
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