Blue Mountain State 2x5

Directed by Rob Schrab

Denise Richards as Debra Simon • Kwasi Songui as Coach Jon Jon • Rob Ramsay as Donnie • James Cade as Harmon • Michael J. Willett as Joe Daniels

Alex, Thad, and Radon receive a message from an unknown woman saying she is pregnant and each respond very differently. Meanwhile, Sammy must decide between staying with a girl out of his league at a price or to go back to being single while Coach Daniels attempts to rekindle his relationship with his son.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. DIFFERENT MARTIAL ARTS?

2. IT'S TRUE. I'D SHOW YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU.

3. - DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK!

4. HEY HEY, WHOSE PHONE IS THAT? CUT THE MUSIC, DONNIE.

5. I'M GONNA CLOSE MY EYES

6. AND WHEN I OPEN THEM, ANSWERING THEIR PHONE!

7. IT'S COMING FROM IN HERE.

8. Whassup? You've reached the Goat House.

9. We can't make it to the phone right now

10. - because we're probably partying super hard... - UH... NOPE.

11. - ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE. - IT'S HERE.

12. CHECK THE REFRIGERATOR. - We'll get back to you ASAP.

13. BMS, party on!

14. - WHAT THE HELL IS IT? - IT'S AN ANSWERING MACHINE.

15. - Hey, it's me.

16. This is awkward, but...

17. I'm pregnant.

18. So we need to figure this out.

19. I'm keeping it and I have expectations.

20. Call me back.

21. - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

22. YOU BETTER HOLD ON. THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

23. - Cheerleader: COME ON, GIRLS. - DADDY, DADDY!

24. HEY! HEY HEY HEY HEY.

25. - HEY, I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. - WHAT IS IT?

26. - THIS! - JON JON, GET HIM OFF THE FIELD.

27. GO BACK TO MOMMY.

28. THE OTHER DAY. - JOE WHO?

29. - JOE YOUR SON. - REALLY?

30. - CONGRATULATIONS. - HE'S STILL BARTENDING.

31. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD INVITE HIM TO THE FIELD SOMETIME.

32. HE WOULDN'T COME.

33. WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER, MARTY.

34. THE FRIGGING PRACTICE?

35. DUDE, WHY WOULD YOU USE CONDOMS?

36. THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER HEARD OF IN MY LIFE.

37. - ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

38. THIS WOMAN, WHOEVER SHE IS,

39. TRYING TO TRAP ME.

40. SHE KNOWS I'LL BE MAKING

41. - AND SHE'S JUST LOOKING TO CASH IN. - MAN, WHATEVER, MAN.

42. THAT MESSAGE WAS FOR ME.

43. GOT A BABY MAMA. SHAWN KEMP, BABY MAMA.

44. HOLYFIELD, BABY MAMA. HELL, EVEN TOM BRADY GOT A BABY MAMA.

45. - MAN, THAT BABY MY DESTINY. - SHE CALLED THE GOAT HOUSE.

46. I LIVE THERE. YOU DON'T.

47. I KNOW IT'S NOT MINE. I USE CONDOMS.

48. TEAM DOES, I'D SAY THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR.

49. FOR BANANAS.

50. - HEY, SAMMY. - OH HEY.

51. - HOW'S IT GOING?

52. LATER, BABY, OKAY?

53. - YOU BET YOU WILL. - YEAH?

54. OH, WHO'S THAT? THAT'S MY NEW GIRLFRIEND.

55. DOES SHE GIVE GOOD SLOW BLOWS? YES, SHE DOES.

56. - WAY TOO HOT FOR ME, RIGHT? - ABSOLUTELY. DEFINITELY.

57. - I KNOW. CRAZY. - SLOW BLOWS? I NEVER HEARD OF THOSE.

58. YEAH, NEITHER DID I, BUT, MAN, WERE WE MISSING OUT.

59. MAN, I'D PAY $500 JUST GIRLS IN THE SHOWER.

60. WELL, BAM! CHECK THIS OUT, LOOK AT THIS.

61. - POSTGAME, PREGAME... - NO WAY!

62. - LOOK AT THIS. - THAT'S YOUR—

63. - ISN'T THAT YOUR SISTER? - YEAH, SHE WALKED INTO MY SHOT ACCIDENTALLY.

64. SHE WALKED IN ON THAT ONE. - THAT'S YOUR SISTER.

65. - THAT'S HER TOO. - SHE WALKED IN ON THAT ONE TOO.

66. SHE KEEPS WALKING IN. - THAT'S KINDA WEIRD, MAN.

67. OKAY, HERE'S THE LIST OF ALL THE SLOOTS I'VE BONED IN THE LAST NINE MONTHS.

68. NOW I'VE RUN OUT OF CHALK, SO LET'S START BY

69. IN THE VENGEFUL CATEGORY.

70. DURING INTERROGATIONS, DO NOT LET THEM FOOL YOU.

71. THEY MAY SEEM HARMLESS, BUT SOME WOMEN WILL BE VERY VERY SMART...

72. I'M GONNA MAKE A GREAT FATHER.

73. A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS, BUT I'M A GREAT LISTENER.

74. 'CAUSE THEN GIRLS CAN'T GET PREGNANT THAT WAY.

75. - RIGHT? - YEAH.

76. BABY NAMES TOO? - NO NO NO.

77. I'M GONNA TAKE A VICTORY LAP. I'M GOING TO STOP BY,

78. I'VE EVER SLEPT WITH THE WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN HERE.

79. IT'S KIND OF A GOOD WAY TO RECONNECT.

80. - WHAT'S THE NUMBERS FOR? - FOR THE RANKINGS.

81. - DAMN, THAT'S A GREAT SYSTEM. - ISN'T THAT GREAT?

82. I JUST ASK EVERYBODY.

83. - THAT'S GOOD. - HEY, WHAT'S UP, GIRL?

84. - YOU PREGNANT? - NO!

85. AND THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BUDDY SYSTEM.

86. OKAY, LET'S GET OUT THERE AND FIND THOSE SLOOTS.

87. LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

88. JOE!

89. - HOW ARE YOU DOING? - STILL BEING SUPER GAY, DAD.

90. - THANKS FOR ASKING. - THAT'S GOOD.

91. HEY, I WANT YOU TO COME BY THE FIELD THIS WEEK.

92. SOME TIME, LIKE BACK IN THE OLD DAYS.

93. - WHY, ARE YOU DYING? - NO NO.

94. SOMEPLACE ELSE?

95. WHY, IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?

96. THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND, BY THE WAY— DEMITRI.

97. - HELLO. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

98. - THIS WAS A MISTAKE. - YEAH, IT WAS.

99. TO TALK ABOUT ANYWAY?

100. CHEATING ON OUR WIVES? BEFORE OUR OWN FAMILIES?

101. - DRINKING BUDWEISERS? - I DON'T DRINK BUDWEISERS.

102. MARTY DANIELS, EVERYBODY! HE'S A SHITTY DAD, BUT WHAT A COACH.

103. COME ON, GIVE ME A SHOT. OKAY, GO.

104. MAN, OH, I FORGOT HOW GOOD HARD LIQUOR TASTES.

105. YOU KNOW, I USED TO DRINK IT ALL THE TIME, BUT—

106. IT MADE MY KINDA CRAZY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

107. I THINK I DO! ONE MORE BEER...

108. - ALL RIGHT. - ... THEN YOU GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR FAMOUS SLOW BLOWS.

109. AS YOU WISH.

110. AWESOME!

111. MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH FUN WE HAVE TOGETHER.

112. - YOU'RE SURPRISED THAT I'M FUN? - OH NO, IT'S AN EXPRESSION.

113. WHAT, NORMALLY I BORE YOU?

114. AM I NOT— FOR YOU, HMM?

115. NO NO NO NO. NO NO NO, OKAY OKAY.

116. YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST FORGET

117. AND WE GET TO THE SLOW BLOW?

118. SLOW BLOW, YEAH, ALL RIGHT, YEAH SURE.

119. THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

120. FOR A SLOW BLOW?

121. - WHAT DO YOU WANT? - MY NAME IS THAD CASTLE.

122. YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.

123. READ THIS ALOUD, POR FAVOR.

124. "HEY, IT'S ME. THIS IS AWKWARD, BUT I'M PREGNANT"?

125. THAT'S GREAT! NOW TRY IT IN YOUR REAL VOICE.

126. - HI. - ALEX?

127. DARLENE, I WAS IN THE AREA

128. TO STOP BY AND SAY HELLO.

129. - HELLO. - YOU AREN'T PREGNANT BY ANY CHANCE, ARE YOU?

130. - NO. - THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.

131. - CAN I COME IN, MAYBE? - YEAH.

132. JUST OUT OF THE SHOWER, HUH?

133. ARE YOU PREGNANT?

134. - NO. - OKAY GOOD.

135. THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S— THAT'S FINE.

136. THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.

137. SLOW BLOWS? THEY SOUND AMAZING!

138. I HAD A PENIS. - EXACTLY!

139. THEY'RE SO GOOD THEY HAD PENISES.

140. SAMMY, CAN YOU TAKE THE GOAT HEAD OFF? IT'S CREEPING ME OUT.

141. EH, I'D RATHER NOT IF THAT'S OKAY. THANKS.

142. OKAY.

143. - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? - WHAT?

144. - IT LOOKS REALLY BAD. - OKAY, I GET IT.

145. A BIG THING THERE. - I FELL, OKAY?

146. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. THE SLOW BLOWS.

147. SLOW BLOWS LATER TODAY.

148. - YEAH.

149. OUT DRINKING LATER.

150. WHEN SHE DRINKS. - YEAH,

151. - CAN WE MAYBE NOT DRINK? - SAMMY.

152. - WE'RE DRINKING. - OKAY.

153. - SLOW BLOWS. - SLOW BLOWS.

154. IT'S NOT GONNA WORK AGAINST THE 4-3.

155. - MARTY. - NO, WE TRIED—

156. AHEM.

157. HEY, YOU MADE IT.

158. UH, DAD, I, UH...

159. THE OTHER NIGHT.

160. TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

161. UH, DEMITRI A REALLY EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT.

162. WILL YOU COME?

163. YOU MEAN RIGHT NOW?

164. FOOTBALL PRACTICE.

165. SURE SURE. YEAH, I'LL COME.

166. DAD.

167. LET'S GO.

168. - ALEX! - JILL.

169. HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

170. HI—

171. - OH, CHARMING. UNCOMFORTABLE?

172. NO.

173. SO, DEMITRI, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO?

174. WHAT DO I DO? WHAT A WEIRD QUESTION.

175. THAT IS A WEIRD QUESTION. WHO SAYS THAT?

176. YOU'RE SHITTING ME!

177. - OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES. - MOM!

178. YOU MADE IT. YOU REMEMBER DAD, RIGHT?

179. ON THE DAY I RUN OUT OF MY XANAX.

180. OH, I HAVE SOME FOR YOU.

181. MY DOG HAS A PRESCRIPTION.

182. IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

183. AND HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND.

184. - AND HIS SISTER. - SLOW BLOWS.

185. SLOW BLOWS!

186. WHOO, I'M ON FIRE!

187. - I'M GONNA GO GET US ANOTHER BOTTLE. - GOOD IDEA.

188. A LITTLE BIT FIRST.

189. MAN, WHAT A GREAT DAY, HUH?

190. WHAT IS HAPPENING? AH AH AH!

191. YOU SON OF A BITCH!

192. I CAN SEE THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING AT HER.

193. - SHE'S MY SISTER!

194. ALL THAT "BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD" BULLSHIT?

195. - YOU LIKE MAKING ME MAD. - NO NO, I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

196. WHEN THIS IS OVER, I AM

197. BLOW YOU HAVE EVER HAD.

198. I AM SO CONFUSED. I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

199. HEY, GUYS, WE'VE GOT TO DRINK THIS QUICK.

200. IN 15 MINUTES.

201. - OH. - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

202. IT'S JUST REAL DRY IN HERE.

203. - HEY. - OH WOW.

204. - OH MY GOD. - RELAX, IT'S NOT YOURS.

205. - ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH, I'M SURE.

206. AND WE'RE IN LOVE.

207. OH, YOU'RE IN LOVE, HUH?

208. WHAT'S THAT LIKE?

209. IT'S PRETTY FUN ACTUALLY.

210. THAT'S GOOD. IS HE HOME?

211. - I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU... - WHAT? NO, I—

212. I WANTED TO MEET HIM.

213. ALTHOUGH I AM

214. INTO YOUR TOP 50.

215. HIGHER ON THAT LIST.

216. - THAT'S BALLSY. - HMMM.

217. - PRETTY BALLSY. - THANKS.

218. YEAH.

219. NO, A WOMAN CALLED THE GOAT HOUSE.

220. - SHE SAID SHE WAS PREGNANT. - OOOH.

221. - NO NAME, NO NUMBER. - YEAH.

222. WHAT THE HELL, RIGHT? - THE GOAT HOUSE HAS A PHONE?

223. - YEAH. - LIKE A LANDLINE?

224. - I KNOW, RIGHT? - WHO WOULD HAVE THAT NUMBER?

225. OLD CHEERLEADERS, BOOSTER GIRLS,

226. - PROSTITUTES, YOU KNOW. - MM-HMM.

227. HOLY SHIT.

228. I KNOW WHO IT IS.

229. THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

230. BY THAT, RIGHT? WE'RE GOOD?

231. - YEAH. - OKAY, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

232. - OKAY, THANK YOU. - NAME IT AFTER ME.

233. SO LET'S PLAY BREAK THE ICE. I'LL GO FIRST.

234. WHEN I WAS 10, MY DAD AN AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR.

235. THEN TO GET BACK AT HIM,

236. WITH HIS BOSS, THE DEAN OF BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE,

237. - WHO SHE LATER MARRIED. - OUCH.

238. A YOGA INSTRUCTOR.

239. JUST A FLEXIBLE WHORE.

240. THAN YOU.

241. REALLY? YOUR BOSS ISN'T COMPLAINING.

242. - I'M GAY!

243. HEY, WILL YOU SIT DOWN? YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.

244. - YOU SIT DOWN. - SIT DOWN, JOE.

245. - SHUT UP, MA. - HEY, DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!

246. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US? WE'VE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING.

247. I WANT— $5,000.

248. - OH JEEZ. - EXCUSE ME?

249. $5,000 AND THE PAST IS FORGIVEN.

250. - LET ME THINK ABOUT IT. - GREAT.

251. I CAN'T WAIT TO RECONNECT WITH YOU, DAD.

252. READS PRETTY WELL.

253. AND THAT PICTURE IS BADASS.

254. MAN, I DONE TALKED TO 900 GIRLS

255. MY BABY IN THEM.

256. YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA JUST IN CASE.

257. I'VE GOT IT! I KNOW WHO IT IS.

258. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HER VOICE BEFORE.

259. LISTEN TO IT AGAIN.

260. Uh, hey, Beavis?

261. This is Butthead.

262. Just kidding, guys, it's Dave!

263. Hey, it's me.

264. This is awkward, but...

265. I'm pregnant.

266. THINK ABOUT IT! LANDLINE.

267. WHO'S OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE THAT NUMBER?

268. I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT:

269. WE'VE ALL HAD SEX WITH HER WITHIN THE PAST NINE MONTHS.

270. - HMMM? - WAIT A MINUTE.

271. OH YEAH. HA HA.

272. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

273. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

274. TO BRING US GOOD LUCK, NOT BAD LUCK.

275. IS THIS TEAM NOT UNDEFEATED?

276. WITH A PRICE.

277. HAPPENS TO BE A BABY.

278. IT CAN'T BE MINE, RIGHT?

279. HARMON, YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT IN THE BUTT.

280. JUST DOUBLE CHECKING. SEE YOU LATER, SUCKERS.

281. - ALL RIGHT, BRO. - LISTEN, I CALLED

282. BECAUSE THIS BABY...

283. - COULD BE ANY OF YOURS.

284. WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS.

285. JUST IN CASE.

286. THAT'S GOOD.

287. AND THEN I GET A SLOW BLOW, SO THAT'S NOT BAD.

288. FINGERS UP THE NOSE, AND THEN A SLOW BLOW.

289. SO AGAIN, SLOW BLOW WINS.

290. IS KAREN HURTING YOU?

291. YOU DON'T KNOCK ANYMORE, REALLY?

292. - SHUT UP. IS SHE? - MARY JO, I KNOW YOU'RE MAD.

293. WORTH IT, OKAY?

294. OH WAIT.

295. - EW. - THAT'S MY TOOTH.

296. GOD DAMN IT, SAMMY! I KNEW IT.

297. OKAY LISTEN, KAREN'S ON HER WAY OVER TO SLOW BLOW ME NOW.

298. I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU LEFT.

299. OH, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

300. - IS THAT THE MONEY? - YEAH, IT IS.

301. YES! CONGRATS, DAD.

302. - YOU HAVE A SON AGAIN.

303. YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

304. IN THE HOSPITAL? - HEY, REMEMBER ME?

305. WHO YOU ABANDONED?

306. ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

307. COME ON, HAND OVER THE MONEY SO WE CAN BE A FAMILY AGAIN.

308. I GOT 100 FOOTBALL PLAYERS

309. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

310. YOU KNOW, THEY NEVER ASK ME FOR ANYTHING EXCEPT GUIDANCE.

311. WITH RESPECT. - RESPECT?

312. - YOU NEVER ACCEPTED ME. - YOU'RE RIGHT.

313. I DIDN'T.

314. BECAUSE OF THIS WHOLE GAY THING.

315. BUT IT WASN'T, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE

316. AND WATCH "WIZARD OF OZ" 10 TIMES A DAY.

317. BUT WHAT I WON'T ACCEPT IS THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A DISRESPECTFUL,

318. MANIPULATIVE LITTLE PRICK. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JOEY?

319. - YOU'RE CUT. - YOU CAN'T CUT ME.

320. YOU'RE CUT!

321. SAMMY?

322. HI, SAMMY BABY.

323. MMM.

324. SLOW BLOW?

325. - I AM.

326. - ALL DONE. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

327. MY BROTHER?

328. YES, SHE DOES,

329. - GIVES GREAT SLOW BLOWS. - SHUT UP, SAMMY!

330. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? IN THE FA—

331. OOOH!

332. YOU DOING?

333. I BEAT HIM?

334. - WHY? - BECAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU.

335. - YEAH RIGHT!

336. - OH YEAH? - YEAH.

337. ON YOUR CELL PHONE?

338. HUH? WA-BAM!

339. OF ME ON YOUR PHONE?

340. NOT JUST YOU. THERE'S—

341. THERE'S OTHER PHOTOS ON THERE.

342. AW SHIT.

343. WELL, I GUESS IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING THIS WEEK IT'S

344. DOUBLE-BAGGING IT'S NEVER A BAD IDEA, HMM?

345. CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED.

346. HEY, I DON'T CARE WHOSE BABY THIS IS.

347. I'M RAISING IT LIKE IT'S MY OWN.

348. - EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO.

349. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

350. I LOST A SON TODAY,

351. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

352. I GOT 100 SONS...

353. RIGHT HERE.

354. BRING IT IN.

355. COME HERE, GUYS.

356. AND I MEAN THAT. OF MY HEART.

357. YOU GUYS ARE MY BOYS, I'M TELLING YOU.

358. - GUYS, WE NEED TO TALK. - COUGAR.

359. YOU'RE GONNA BE OUR MILF.

360. AND WE'RE GONNA RAISE THIS BABY AS OUR OWN, TOGETHER,

361. AT THE GOAT HOUSE.

362. NO.

363. I'M GONNA RAISE THIS BABY. ALONE.

364. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS.

365. MY B.M.S. BOYS NEED TO KEEP

366. CONGRATULATIONS, MARTY DANIELS.

367. 101 SONS, COACH.

368. - RIGHT?

369. WHOA WHOA WHOA. MARY JO, WHAT HAPPENED?

370. - MASCOT. - HE FELL.

371. SLOW BLOWS. THIS IS SLOW BLOWS.

372. SLOW BLOWS.

373. SLOW BLOWS.