Blue Mountain State 2x3

Directed by Fred Savage

Denise Richards as Debra Simon • Kwasi Songui as Coach Jon Jon • Omari Newton as Larry • James Cade as Harmon • Brian Bosworth as Self

The team becomes celibate in order to boost their performance on the field, but it backfires when Mary Jo, out of frustration, stirs them into a frenzy. Plus, Coach Daniel's ex-wife Debra shows up to collect unpaid debts.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. YOU'VE KNOWN THAT GIRL

2. AND YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER? AND YOU AIN'T WANT TO?

3. WHAT? NO, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.

4. SO? I'VE HAD SEX WITH ALL MY FRIEND'S SISTERS

5. SISTER'S SISTERS.

6. MAN, YOU TRIPPIN'. THAT GIRL'S FINE.

7. - Girl: HEY, BABY! - NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

8. I'M GONNA ADD HER TO MY LIST.

9. - NO. NO NO NO. SHE'LL DESTROY YOU. - PUSSY.

10. I'M SERIOUS. IN HIGH SCHOOL SHE DATED THE CAPTAIN OF THE HOCKEY TEAM.

11. HE WAS ALL-STATE, HAD A FULL RIDE TO MICHIGAN.

12. - KNOW WHERE HE IS NOW? - UH, NO.

13. I EVER HEARD OF THIS DUDE.

14. HE'S BAGGING GROCERIES.

15. TO COMPETE.

16. MOST GIRLS ARE YOKO ONO. SHE'S LINDA McCARTNEY.

17. YOU'RE IN THE BEATLES. HOOK UP WITH HER, YOU'LL END UP IN WINGS.

18. WHO'S THE BEATLES?

19. I SWEAR,

20. - MAKE OUT WITH ME. - NO, I SHOULD PASS.

21. YOU KNOW I'VE WANTED KINDERGARTEN.

22. - OH REALLY? - COME ON, WE'RE NOT IN CHEYENNE ANYMORE.

23. NO ONE'S GONNA CARE.

24. HEY LINDA, HOW DO YOU SPELL YOUR LAST NAME?

25. - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?

26. YOU BETTER HOLD ON. THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.

27. I'VE GOT THREE FRESHMEN STARTING IN THE SECONDARY.

28. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

29. NO.

30. - THE DEFENSIVE LINE, WE'RE PRETTY VETERAN—

31. - I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION. - I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

32. THAT 60% OF YOUR TEAM HAS AN ARREST RECORD?

33. WELL, THAT'S BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.

34. TO MY SCHOOL, MARTY!

35. DEAN SIMON, I'M HAVING

36. WITH MY EX-WIFE'S TIT IN YOUR MOUTH.

37. REALLY? YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.

38. OUT OF YOURS.

39. YOU'RE ONLY WITH HIM PISSES ME OFF.

40. ENOUGH! WE HAVE GOT

41. IMAGE OF THIS TEAM.

42. NOW I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE BOOSTERS.

43. - CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS. - WE'RE ORGANIZING

44. AND THE ST. MARY'S CHURCH GROUP.

45. AND THEN WE'RE SENDING YOU ON A P.R. TOUR.

46. REALLY? WELL, IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

47. THIS IS YOUR BOSS, MARTY. BEHIND US ON THIS.

48. YOU'RE FINISHED.

49. I'VE TOLD THEM I THINK YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER TITLE IN YOU.

50. DON'T PROVE ME WRONG. LET'S GO.

51. THE CAMERAS, COACH.

52. HEY, WARREN, YOU WALK LIKE A PUSSY.

53. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE WASTING GOING TO CHURCH.

54. MORAN'S RIGHT. THIS WHOLE RELIGION THING'S A CROCK OF SHIT.

55. DOESN'T EVEN EXIST.

56. I LOVE JESUS.

57. WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO.

58. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS APOLOGIZE AFTER.

59. I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

60. HEY, LISTEN. TRUST ME, IT IS.

61. WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD,

62. MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE.

63. SEE THE PRIEST.

64. ALL I HAD TO DO

65. AND THAT WOULD BE THAT.

66. I'VE BEEN A BELIEVER EVER SINCE, BABY.

67. JESUS!

68. CROCK OF SHIT, MORAN.

69. MR. CASTLE, CAN YOU GIVE US ON SATURDAY?

70. YES, BUT FIRST I'D LIKE

71. AN AWESOME FOOTBALL PLAYER.

72. IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, OF THEIR SONS.

73. OF CHARITY TOUCH FOOTBALL.

74. THANKS TO THEIR KINDNESS, WE'LL FINALLY HAVE THE MONEY

75. OUR CHURCH'S RENOVATIONS.

76. SO GOD BLESS COACH DANIELS,

77. - GOD BLESS THE GOATS...

78. B.M.S. FOOTBALL PROGRAM!

79. PURITY.

80. PURE AS THE DAY IS LONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

81. THAT'S HOW WE HAVE TO BE,

82. - TO GET THROUGH THAT GAME. - SORRY, JESUS.

83. OH. THANK YOU, JESUS.

84. TO GET THROUGH THAT GAME OF LIFE.

85. EACH AND EVERY DAY, FOLKS, IT'S FOURTH AND LONG.

86. TO MOVE THOSE CHAINS.

87. THAT'S RIGHT. JUST AS OUR LORD...

88. NO NO NO.

89. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID? SHE'S OFF-LIMITS.

90. MADE TO BE BROKEN. I DO IT ALL THE TIME.

91. PAULINE. PAULINE'S A GOOD TIME.

92. SHE'S A GREAT TIME. SHE'S REALLY NICE.

93. I'VE ALREADY BEEN WITH HER. WE ALL HAVE.

94. YOU KNOW THAT. WHY YOU BRINGING UP HER?

95. - Moran: WHY? WHY WHY WHY HER? - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

96. RANDELL, MORAN,

97. IN YOUR SEATS NOW!

98. SORRY, FATHER. CONTINUE.

99. SO I'M DEFINITELY GONNA HIT YOU UP THIS WEEK.

100. - I'MA TAKE YOU DANCING. - SHUT UP.

101. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DANCING.

102. MM-HMM.

103. YEAH, NO, YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH RADON.

104. 'CAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS, RIGHT?

105. BECAUSE HE'S REALLY THE TEAM.

106. HE'S VALUABLE TO THE WHOLE TEAM.

107. WHO I CAN AND CAN'T SLEEP WITH?

108. TRACK RECORD WITH GUYS.

109. I WASN'T EVEN THINKING OF PORKING RADON,

110. TALKED ME INTO IT.

111. THAT GUY'S GONNA OWE YOU A THANK YOU CARD.

112. MARTY. MARTY.

113. MARTIN.

114. YOUR TEAM MASCOT.

115. HE'LL BE GOING WITH YOU ON YOUR P.R. TOUR.

116. WOW. COACH, IT WILL BE AN HONOR SPENDING TIME WITH YOU.

117. IS FUNNY, DON'T YOU?

118. A LITTLE, BUT DON'T WE'RE BLUFFING.

119. DO AS YOU'RE TOLD OR YOU'RE GONE.

120. IS A LUCKY LUCKY MAN.

121. WOW.

122. Father West's voice: PURE AS THE DAY IS LONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

123. THAT'S HOW WE HAVE TO BE,

124. THAT GAME.

125. BRIAN BOSWORTH? YOU WERE GOD.

126. - NOT QUITE, BUT THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

127. THAD, GOT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.

128. OF NEXT YEAR'S N.F.L. DRAFT.

129. OH SHIT! OH SHIT!

130. HUGE FOR ME!

131. HOWEVER, IN ORDER FOR THIS TO HAPPEN,

132. FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON.

133. ABSOLUTELY NO SEX.

134. NO BEAV? FINE.

135. - I GOT A POCKET PUSSY. - NO, WE WON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT.

136. FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON.

137. IF I DO THAT, I'LL GO TOP THREE?

138. THIS IS YOUR SHOT, THAD.

139. DON'T BLOW IT.

140. GOODBYE, OKSANA.

141. BLUE 18, BLUE 18,

142. SET, HIKE!

143. THAT'S FIVE SACKS TODAY, RANDELL!

144. OUT OF YOUR ASS!

145. O-LINE CAN'T HOLD HIM TODAY, COACH!

146. IN YOUR STEROIDS TODAY?

147. BORN-AGAIN VIRGINITY.

148. IF I GO BEAVER-FREE,

149. I'M GONNA GO TOP THREE IN THE DRAFT.

150. JUST A HEADS UP, LADIES, I'M BEAVER-FREE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

151. SO DON'T TRY TO SEDUCE ME WITH YOUR KNOCKERS.

152. IT WON'T WORK. YOU'RE DISMISSED.

153. GIVES UP SEX FOR FOOTBALL?

154. TO BE THE BEST.

155. GIVE UP SEX.

156. THAT'S WHY YOU'LL NEVER BE GREAT.

157. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! HOMELESS PEOPLE, EAT SOME FOOD. EAT SOME FREE FOOD!

158. ALL RIGHT, ENJOY! YEAH!

159. HERE. PUT THIS ON YOUR HEAD.

160. I'M NOT WEARING THAT.

161. OH, YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU ARE.

162. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, COACH! YEAH, ALL RIGHT!

163. REALLY STUPID ON YOU!

164. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S MAKING YOU WEAR THAT!

165. - PICTURE TIME! - I'LL TAKE SOME PICTURES. HERE WE GO.

166. NO THANK YOU. NO GIRLS TODAY.

167. NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME. GROSS.

168. AND GROSS.

169. WHY ARE YOU WEARING LINGERIE? IT'S SO AWESOME AND SICK!

170. GET IT OFF.

171. THAD BADASSLE, SACTION NEWS 4,

172. SACK MAGNET IN B.M.S. HISTORY.

173. RADON RANDELL, TELL US WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SUCK SO BAD AT FOOTBALL?

174. A BAD DAY, MAN.

175. EAT SHIT!

176. UH-OH.

177. YOU KNOW, THE ONLY REASON WHY THAT GUY'S BEATING YOU IS BECAUSE HE'S GIVEN UP SEX.

178. THE HUMILIATION TO END, YA GOTTA DO IT TOO.

179. - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. - IT'S EITHER THAT OR

180. KICKING YOUR ASS.

181. HEY, SEXY. I HAVE DRINKS IN MY ROOM.

182. WANNA HELP ME DRINK THEM?

183. - UM...

184. I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

185. A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, PORK ME IN A CHURCH.

186. - REALLY? - YEAH. WHAT'D YOU SAY TO HIM?

187. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. MAYBE YOU'RE NOT HIS TYPE.

188. I'M GONNA NAIL THAT GUY AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

189. AWESOME BOOBS DISGUSTS ME!

190. BLUE 18. SET...

191. HIKE!

192. BREAK IT UP. BREAK IT UP!

193. HEY, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU TWO?

194. YOU'VE BEEN AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS ALL DAY!

195. HE STOLE MY MOVE, COACH!

196. IF I STOP BONING SLOOTS,

197. I'D GO TOP THREE IN THE DRAFT.

198. IS GOING BEAVER-FREE TOO.

199. IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHOICE!

200. HEY, HOLD ON. HOLD ON.

201. THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE CELIBATE?

202. YES, COACH.

203. I LIKE IT. I LIKE THIS CELIBACY THING.

204. OKAY, FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,

205. - IS CELIBATE.

206. JON JON, CALL THE PAPERS.

207. GIVE THEM THE HEADLINE,

208. "B.M.S. TEAM CELIBATE."

209. ALL RIGHT. COME ON, HUDDLE UP.

210. THE STARTERS, RIGHT?

211. WHEN I WAS ON BEAVER, I USED TO DO VERY BAD THINGS.

212. YOU GUYS KNOW. MOST OF YOU WERE THERE FOR IT.

213. IT'S ONLY BEEN 24 HOURS FOR ME,

214. MY BALLS GETTING HEAVIER.

215. AND I'M AFRAID THAT'S GONNA AFFECT MY KICKING.

216. THIS FOR EVEN ONE MORE DAY,

217. MY BALLS'LL GO STRAIGHT-UP EAT EACH OTHER.

218. TRIED PRAYER?

219. PRAYER MIGHT WORK FOR YOU. YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX.

220. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.

221. I, ON THE OTHER HAND— I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M MISSING.

222. EXCUSE ME. HI.

223. SUPPORT GROUP?

224. JESUS CHRIST... IANSONS.

225. - I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. - HM?

226. ABOUT BOINKING?

227. HANDS ON MY TITS.

228. MARTY, THIS CELIBACY STUNT MAY HAVE SAVED YOUR ASS.

229. WE WERE MARRIED. FOR 10 YEARS.

230. OH, SO BANGING THE ENTIRE YOU BEING CELIBATE?

231. IT WASN'T THE ENTIRE TEAM.

232. WERE LESBIANS.

233. COACH, I JUST WANT

234. THE TIME OF MY LIFE.

235. I'M SURE GLAD YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF.

236. BUT COACH, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY THAT I'VE WANTED TO SAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS NOW.

237. YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THEIR LITTLE BITCH, OKAY?

238. THERE, I SAID IT. I SAID IT.

239. EXCUSE ME?

240. I'VE NEVER

241. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

242. WITH COLLEGE.

243. I APPLIED THE NEXT DAY.

244. TO STOP DRINKING.

245. EVERY CHANCE I GET.

246. AND STOP BEING A BITCH.

247. GET OUT OF THE CAR.

248. NO. NO.

249. AND HE WAS LIKE, "I'M GONNA FINISH."

250. I WAS LIKE, "JOEY, YOU SON OF A BITCH,

251. YOU'RE NOT FINISHING

252. OUT OF YOUR BIG—"

253. THE END! THE END! THANK YOU, MARY JO.

254. WOW.

255. TO GET THAT OFF MY TITS.

256. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS AROUND.

257. BYE.

258. SCREW IT. I'LL GO AGAIN.

259. WITH MOTOR OIL.

260. YEAH, I WAS THAT GUY.

261. YOUR BONERS UP OR DOWN?

262. I'M TAPED MY SHIT DOWN. YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

263. YO, LOOK, JUST A HEADS UP...

264. THIS WEEKEND.

265. - WHAT, WHY? - BECAUSE I'M SMASHING THAT GIRL TONIGHT.

266. I DON'T CARE ABOUT BEING BENCHED.

267. I DON'T CARE IF I END UP IN WINGS.

268. I'M TAKING HER TO MY BED TONIGHT.

269. OKAY, EVERYBODY, GATHER ROUND.

270. THERE'S GONNA BE NATIONAL MEDIA AT THE CHURCH TODAY.

271. SO LET'S GO OVER THERE, SMILE PRETTY,

272. RUN AROUND A LITTLE BIT, AND THEN GET THE HELL OUT.

273. UNDERSTOOD?

274. YES, COACH!

275. HOW YOU DOING, COACH? A MERCY RULE?

276. NO, I DON'T THINK THAT'LL BE NECESSARY.

277. YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT EASY ON US, THOUGH, RIGHT?

278. EXCUSE ME.

279. THE PERFORMANCE YESTERDAY.

280. I WANTED YOU TO.

281. HAVE A GOOD GAME.

282. NO BEAV ON THREE.

283. ONE, TWO, THREE. NO BEAV!

284. - OH SORRY! I'M SORRY! - HOLY SHIT.

285. MADE ME DO IT! I'M SORRY.

286. MARTY! FOR A CHANGE, HUH?

287. LISTEN, STAY STRONG. ALL RIGHT? FOCUS.

288. UNDER CONTROL.

289. YOUR TEAM'S EMBARRASSING US IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.

290. I TOOK YOUR WIFE, MARTY.

291. DON'T MAKE ME TAKE YOUR JOB TOO.

292. THEIR BITCH, COACH! COME ON, DON'T DO IT.

293. HEY, WARREN,

294. THE DAY I LET YOU

295. IS THE DAY DEBRA SWALLOWS.

296. - EXCUSE ME? - YOU HEARD ME.

297. ON THE FIELD?

298. THAT'S YOUR FAULT BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT.

299. YOU WANNA FIRE ME? GOOD!

300. I WANT YOU TO!

301. I'LL FIND ANOTHER COACHING JOB.

302. WHEN I DO, I'LL COME BACK EVERY YEAR

303. AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS! YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.

304. AND NEITHER ARE YOU!

305. SECOND TEAM, GET IN THERE!

306. NO. FIRST TEAM STAYS IN THERE.

307. RANDELL IS M.I.A.

308. MORAN, YOU'RE IN FOR RANDELL!

309. TO BURY THESE PRICKS!

310. AFTER THE GAME!

311. OH, I CAN'T GO IN RIGHT NOW, COACH.

312. TALKING ABOUT?

313. I...

314. I GOTTA GO POOP.

315. HOLD IT IN. GET IN THERE!

316. YOU BETTER PRAY, SON. I GOT YOUR NUMBER.

317. YOU HAD BETTER PRAY!

318. LET'S LEAVE IT UNLOCKED.

319. OF MAYBE GETTING CAUGHT.

320. YEAH, I LIKE THAT.

321. RADON RANDELL SEDUCTION?

322. - COME ON. - FATHER, I GOT TO MAKE A CONFESSION.

323. WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.

324. SHE'S ABOUT TO BANG MY TEAMMATE IN A PORT-A-POTTY,

325. AND I CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN.

326. - THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND GOD. - WHAT?

327. YOU HAD BETTER PRAY! COME ON!

328. DOWN.

329. PLEASE, GOD.

330. SET, HIKE!

331. UHN.

332. LOOK, RADON, I THINK YOU'RE AMAZING.

333. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING

334. MMN, RADON'S COMING.

335. WAS THIS DUCT TAPE?

336. AAH! OH, MY DICKY!

337. WHOO! YOU LIKE THAT, HOTSHOT?

338. THAT'S HOW DO IN GOD'S HOUSE.

339. YEAH.

340. FATHER, YOU NEED TO GET LAID.

341. I BROKE MY DICKY!

342. OH, IT HURTS!

343. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

344. THANK YOU.

345. HI. CONGRATULATIONS.

346. YOU'RE ON THE FRONT PAGE OF "DEADSPIN."

347. THE DUCT TAPE WAS YOUR IDEA, WASN'T IT?

348. NO, IT WASN'T MY IDEA.

349. ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M GOING TO FRENCH YOU, ALEX.

350. AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

351. AWAY FROM ME!

352. I'M GOIN' TOP THREE!

353. YOU PASSED THE TEST.

354. YOU'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PERFORM AT THE PRO LEVEL.

355. DRAFT PICK NEXT YEAR.

356. NUMERO UNO?

357. NUMERO UNO, THAD.

358. JUST LIKE ME.

359. OH, THANK YOU. OH, THANK YOU, MR. BOS—

360. - YEAH.

361. JUST LIKE ME.