1. YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU'VE KNOWN THAT GIRL
MOST OF YOUR LIFE
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2. AND YOU AIN'T
NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER?
AND YOU AIN'T WANT TO?
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3. WHAT? NO, THAT'S MY
BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
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4. SO?
I'VE HAD SEX WITH
ALL MY FRIEND'S SISTERS
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5. AND THEIR
SISTER'S SISTERS.
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6. MAN, YOU TRIPPIN'.
THAT GIRL'S FINE.
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7. - Girl: HEY, BABY!
- NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
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8. I'M GONNA ADD HER
TO MY LIST.
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9. - NO. NO NO NO.
SHE'LL DESTROY YOU.
- PUSSY.
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10. I'M SERIOUS. IN HIGH SCHOOL SHE DATED THE CAPTAIN OF THE HOCKEY TEAM.
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11. HE WAS ALL-STATE,
HAD A FULL RIDE TO MICHIGAN.
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12. - KNOW WHERE HE IS NOW?
- UH, NO.
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13. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I EVER HEARD OF THIS DUDE.
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14. HE'S BAGGING GROCERIES.
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15. SHE MADE HIM SO HAPPY
THAT HE LOST HIS WILL
TO COMPETE.
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16. MOST GIRLS ARE YOKO ONO.
SHE'S LINDA McCARTNEY.
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17. YOU'RE IN THE BEATLES.
HOOK UP WITH HER,
YOU'LL END UP IN WINGS.
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18. WHO'S THE BEATLES?
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19. I SWEAR,
YOU SAY A COMMENT
LIKE THAT AGAIN—
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20. - MAKE OUT WITH ME.
- NO, I SHOULD PASS.
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21. YOU KNOW I'VE WANTED
TO FRENCH YOU SINCE
KINDERGARTEN.
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22. - OH REALLY?
- COME ON, WE'RE NOT
IN CHEYENNE ANYMORE.
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23. NO ONE'S GONNA CARE.
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24. HEY LINDA, HOW DO YOU
SPELL YOUR LAST NAME?
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25. - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?
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26. YOU BETTER HOLD ON.
THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.
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27. I'VE GOT THREE FRESHMEN
STARTING IN THE SECONDARY.
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28. THAT'S NOT GOOD.
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29. NO.
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30. - THE DEFENSIVE LINE,
WE'RE PRETTY VETERAN—
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31. - I WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION.
- I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
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32. ARE YOU AWARE
THAT 60% OF YOUR TEAM
HAS AN ARREST RECORD?
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33. WELL, THAT'S BETTER
THAN LAST YEAR.
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34. PARENTS ARE GOING TO BE
AFRAID TO SEND THEIR KIDS
TO MY SCHOOL, MARTY!
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35. DEAN SIMON, I'M HAVING
A LITTLE DIFFICULTY
UNDERSTANDING YOU
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36. WITH MY EX-WIFE'S TIT
IN YOUR MOUTH.
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37. REALLY?
YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
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38. IT MIGHT TAKE THE TASTE
OF BOOZE AND WHORES
OUT OF YOURS.
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39. YOU'RE ONLY WITH HIM
BECAUSE YOU THINK IT
PISSES ME OFF.
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40. ENOUGH! WE HAVE GOT
TO WORK TOGETHER
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41. TO TURN AROUND THE NEGATIVE
IMAGE OF THIS TEAM.
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42. NOW I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH
WITH THE BOOSTERS.
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43. - CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THIS.
- WE'RE ORGANIZING
A CHARITY GAME
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44. BETWEEN YOUR PLAYERS
AND THE ST. MARY'S CHURCH GROUP.
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45. FATHER WEST IS EXPECTING
YOU AND YOUR PLAYERS
AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY
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46. TO ANNOUNCE THE EVENT
AND THEN WE'RE SENDING YOU
ON A P.R. TOUR.
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47. REALLY?
WELL, IT AIN'T
GONNA HAPPEN.
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48. THIS IS YOUR BOSS, MARTY.
AND THE BOOSTERS ARE
BEHIND US ON THIS.
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49. THEY THINK
YOU'RE FINISHED.
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50. I'VE TOLD THEM
I THINK YOU'VE GOT
ANOTHER TITLE IN YOU.
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51. DON'T PROVE ME WRONG.
LET'S GO.
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52. SMILE BIG FOR
THE CAMERAS, COACH.
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53. HEY, WARREN,
YOU WALK LIKE A PUSSY.
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54. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE WASTING
PRIME DRINKING HOURS
GOING TO CHURCH.
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55. MORAN'S RIGHT.
THIS WHOLE RELIGION THING'S
A CROCK OF SHIT.
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56. GOD PROBABLY
DOESN'T EVEN EXIST.
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57. I LOVE JESUS.
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58. HE LETS YOU DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO.
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59. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS
APOLOGIZE AFTER.
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60. I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.
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61. HEY, LISTEN.
TRUST ME, IT IS.
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62. WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD,
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63. I BURNED DOWN
MY NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE.
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64. MY MOM MADE ME GO
SEE THE PRIEST.
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65. THE PRIEST TOLD ME
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66. ALL I HAD TO DO
WAS APOLOGIZE TO JESUS
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67. AND THAT WOULD BE THAT.
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68. I'VE BEEN A
BELIEVER EVER SINCE, BABY.
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69. JESUS!
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70. CROCK OF SHIT, MORAN.
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71. MR. CASTLE, CAN YOU GIVE US
A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE GAME
ON SATURDAY?
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72. YES, BUT FIRST I'D LIKE
TO THANK MY LORD AND SAVIOR
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73. FOR MAKING ME SUCH
AN AWESOME FOOTBALL PLAYER.
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74. IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER,
THE MOTHER AND BOTH
OF THEIR SONS.
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75. WE ARE SO EXCITED COACH DANIELS
AND THE MOUNTAIN GOATS
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76. HAVE AGREED TO PLAY US
IN A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED GAME
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77. OF CHARITY TOUCH FOOTBALL.
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78. THANKS TO THEIR KINDNESS,
WE'LL FINALLY HAVE THE MONEY
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79. WE NEED TO COMPLETE
OUR CHURCH'S RENOVATIONS.
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80. SO GOD BLESS COACH DANIELS,
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81. - GOD BLESS THE GOATS...
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82. AND GOD BLESS THE ENTIRE
B.M.S. FOOTBALL PROGRAM!
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83. PURITY.
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84. PURE AS THE DAY IS LONG,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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85. THAT'S HOW WE HAVE TO BE,
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86. MUCH AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER
HAS TO BE PURE OF MIND
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87. - TO GET THROUGH THAT GAME.
- SORRY, JESUS.
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88. OH.
THANK YOU, JESUS.
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89. TO GET THROUGH
THAT GAME OF LIFE.
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90. EACH AND EVERY DAY, FOLKS,
IT'S FOURTH AND LONG.
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91. AND WE HAVE TO DO
WHAT WE NEED TO DO
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92. TO MOVE THOSE CHAINS.
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93. THAT'S RIGHT.
JUST AS OUR LORD...
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94. NO NO NO.
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95. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID?
SHE'S OFF-LIMITS.
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96. LIMITS ARE
MADE TO BE BROKEN.
I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
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97. PAULINE.
PAULINE'S A GOOD TIME.
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98. SHE'S A GREAT TIME.
SHE'S REALLY NICE.
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99. I'VE ALREADY BEEN WITH HER.
WE ALL HAVE.
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100. YOU KNOW THAT.
WHY YOU BRINGING UP HER?
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101. - Moran: WHY?
WHY WHY WHY HER?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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102. RANDELL, MORAN,
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103. SHUT THE HELL UP
AND GET YOUR ASSES
IN YOUR SEATS NOW!
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104. SORRY, FATHER.
CONTINUE.
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105. SO I'M DEFINITELY
GONNA HIT YOU UP THIS WEEK.
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106. - I'MA TAKE YOU DANCING.
- SHUT UP.
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107. I'M GONNA
TAKE YOU DANCING.
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108. MM-HMM.
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109. YEAH, NO, YOU CAN'T
SLEEP WITH RADON.
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110. 'CAUSE YOU'RE
JEALOUS, RIGHT?
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111. BECAUSE HE'S REALLY
VALUABLE TO ME—
THE TEAM.
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112. HE'S VALUABLE
TO THE WHOLE TEAM.
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113. SINCE WHEN DO YOU TELL ME
WHO I CAN AND CAN'T
SLEEP WITH?
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114. I KNOW YOUR
TRACK RECORD WITH GUYS.
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115. I WASN'T EVEN THINKING
OF PORKING RADON,
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116. BUT YOU JUST
TALKED ME INTO IT.
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117. THAT GUY'S GONNA OWE YOU
A THANK YOU CARD.
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118. MARTY.
MARTY.
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119. MARTIN.
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120. THIS IS
YOUR TEAM MASCOT.
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121. HE'LL BE GOING WITH YOU
ON YOUR P.R. TOUR.
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122. WOW.
COACH, IT WILL BE AN HONOR
SPENDING TIME WITH YOU.
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123. YOU THINK THIS
IS FUNNY, DON'T YOU?
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124. A LITTLE, BUT DON'T
THINK FOR A SECOND
WE'RE BLUFFING.
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125. DO AS YOU'RE TOLD
OR YOU'RE GONE.
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126. THAT DEAN SIMON
IS A LUCKY LUCKY MAN.
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127. WOW.
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128. Father West's voice:
PURE AS THE DAY IS LONG,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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129. THAT'S HOW WE HAVE TO BE,
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130. MUCH AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER
HAS TO BE PURE OF MIND
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131. TO GET THROUGH
THAT GAME.
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132. BRIAN BOSWORTH?
I ALWAYS SAID
YOU WERE GOD.
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133. - NOT QUITE, BUT THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
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134. THAD, GOT SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
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135. YOU ARE GOING TO GO
IN THE TOP THREE
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136. OF NEXT YEAR'S
N.F.L. DRAFT.
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137. OH SHIT!
OH SHIT!
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138. THAT WOULD BE
HUGE FOR ME!
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139. HOWEVER, IN ORDER
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN,
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140. YOU MUST BECOME CELIBATE
FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON.
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141. THAT MEANS
ABSOLUTELY NO SEX.
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142. NO BEAV?
FINE.
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143. - I GOT A POCKET PUSSY.
- NO, WE WON'T HAVE
ANY OF THAT.
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144. YOU WILL TAKE
YOUR LITTLE PLAYERS
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145. AND KEEP THEM
IN THEIR LOCKER ROOM
FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON.
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146. IF I DO THAT,
I'LL GO TOP THREE?
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147. THIS IS YOUR SHOT, THAD.
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148. DON'T BLOW IT.
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149. GOODBYE, OKSANA.
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150. BLUE 18,
BLUE 18,
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151. SET, HIKE!
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152. THAT'S FIVE SACKS TODAY,
RANDELL!
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153. GET YOUR HEAD
OUT OF YOUR ASS!
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154. O-LINE CAN'T
HOLD HIM TODAY, COACH!
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155. WHAT DID THEY PUT
IN YOUR STEROIDS TODAY?
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156. BORN-AGAIN VIRGINITY.
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157. BRIAN BOSWORTH TOLD ME
IF I GO BEAVER-FREE,
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158. I'M GONNA GO TOP THREE
IN THE DRAFT.
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159. JUST A HEADS UP, LADIES,
I'M BEAVER-FREE UNTIL
FURTHER NOTICE.
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160. SO DON'T TRY TO SEDUCE ME
WITH YOUR KNOCKERS.
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161. IT WON'T WORK.
YOU'RE DISMISSED.
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162. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT
GIVES UP SEX FOR FOOTBALL?
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163. AN IDIOT WHO WANTS
TO BE THE BEST.
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164. I COULD NEVER
GIVE UP SEX.
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165. THAT'S WHY YOU'LL
NEVER BE GREAT.
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166. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
HOMELESS PEOPLE, EAT SOME FOOD.
EAT SOME FREE FOOD!
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167. ALL RIGHT, ENJOY!
YEAH!
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168. HERE.
PUT THIS ON YOUR HEAD.
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169. I'M NOT WEARING THAT.
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170. OH, YOU BET YOUR ASS
YOU ARE.
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171. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, COACH!
YEAH, ALL RIGHT!
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172. THAT HAIRNET LOOKS
REALLY STUPID ON YOU!
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173. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S MAKING YOU WEAR THAT!
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174. - PICTURE TIME!
- I'LL TAKE SOME PICTURES.
HERE WE GO.
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175. NO THANK YOU.
NO GIRLS TODAY.
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176. NO, I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LOOK AT ME. GROSS.
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177. YOUR FACE IS AWESOME
AND GROSS.
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178. WHY ARE YOU WEARING LINGERIE?
IT'S SO AWESOME AND SICK!
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179. GET IT OFF.
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180. THAD BADASSLE,
SACTION NEWS 4,
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181. HERE WITH THE BIGGEST
SACK MAGNET IN B.M.S. HISTORY.
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182. RADON RANDELL,
TELL US WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO SUCK SO BAD AT FOOTBALL?
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183. SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE
A BAD DAY, MAN.
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184. AND SOME PEOPLE
EAT SHIT!
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185. UH-OH.
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186. YOU KNOW, THE ONLY REASON
WHY THAT GUY'S BEATING YOU
IS BECAUSE HE'S GIVEN UP SEX.
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187. IF YOU WANT
THE HUMILIATION TO END,
YA GOTTA DO IT TOO.
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188. - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
- IT'S EITHER THAT OR
YOU GO ALL SEASON
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189. - WITH THAT GUY
KICKING YOUR ASS.
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190. HEY, SEXY.
I HAVE DRINKS IN MY ROOM.
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191. WANNA HELP ME DRINK THEM?
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192. - UM...
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193. I GOT TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
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194. A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO,
THAT GUY WAS TRYING TO
PORK ME IN A CHURCH.
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195. - REALLY?
- YEAH. WHAT'D
YOU SAY TO HIM?
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196. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT
HIS TYPE.
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197. I'M GONNA NAIL THAT GUY
AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
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198. THE SIGHT OF YOUR
AWESOME BOOBS DISGUSTS ME!
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199. BLUE 18.
SET...
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200. HIKE!
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201. BREAK IT UP.
BREAK IT UP!
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202. HEY, WHAT IS IT
WITH YOU TWO?
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203. YOU'VE BEEN AT EACH OTHER'S
THROATS ALL DAY!
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204. HE STOLE MY MOVE,
COACH!
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205. BRIAN BOSWORTH
CAME TO ME AND SAID
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206. IF I STOP BONING SLOOTS,
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207. I'D GO TOP THREE
IN THE DRAFT.
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208. NOW THIS PRICK
IS GOING BEAVER-FREE TOO.
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209. IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHOICE!
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210. HEY, HOLD ON.
HOLD ON.
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211. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE CELIBATE?
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212. YES, COACH.
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213. I LIKE IT.
I LIKE THIS CELIBACY THING.
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214. OKAY, FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,
EVERYBODY ON THIS TEAM
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215. - IS CELIBATE.
- [ players groan, complain ]
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216. JON JON, CALL THE PAPERS.
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217. I WANT YOU TO
GIVE THEM THE HEADLINE,
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218. "B.M.S. TEAM CELIBATE."
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219. ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, HUDDLE UP.
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220. THIS IS ONLY FOR
THE STARTERS, RIGHT?
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221. WHEN I WAS ON BEAVER,
I USED TO DO VERY BAD THINGS.
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222. YOU GUYS KNOW.
MOST OF YOU WERE THERE FOR IT.
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223. IT'S ONLY BEEN
24 HOURS FOR ME,
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224. BUT I ALREADY FEEL
MY BALLS GETTING HEAVIER.
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225. AND I'M AFRAID THAT'S
GONNA AFFECT MY KICKING.
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226. I HAVE A SERIOUS CONCERNS
THAT IF I HAVE TO GO THROUGH
THIS FOR EVEN ONE MORE DAY,
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227. MY BALLS'LL GO STRAIGHT-UP
EAT EACH OTHER.
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228. HAVE ANY OF YOU
TRIED PRAYER?
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229. PRAYER MIGHT WORK FOR YOU.
YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX.
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230. YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
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231. I, ON THE OTHER HAND—
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M MISSING.
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232. EXCUSE ME.
HI.
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233. IS THIS THE BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN
SUPPORT GROUP?
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234. JESUS CHRIST... IANSONS.
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235. - I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
- HM?
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236. THE THING I MISS MOST
ABOUT BOINKING?
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237. HANDS ON MY TITS.
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238. MARTY, THIS CELIBACY STUNT
MAY HAVE SAVED YOUR ASS.
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239. WE WERE MARRIED.
WE WERE CELIBATE
FOR 10 YEARS.
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240. OH, SO BANGING THE ENTIRE
GIRLS VOLLEYBALL TEAM WAS
YOU BEING CELIBATE?
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241. IT WASN'T
THE ENTIRE TEAM.
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242. TWO OF THEM
WERE LESBIANS.
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243. COACH, I JUST WANT
TO LET YOU KNOW
Copy !req
244. THAT I HAVE HAD
THE TIME OF MY LIFE.
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245. I'M SURE GLAD
YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF.
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246. BUT COACH, I HAVE SOMETHING
TO SAY THAT I'VE WANTED TO SAY
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS NOW.
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247. YOU'RE ACTING LIKE
THEIR LITTLE BITCH, OKAY?
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248. THERE, I SAID IT.
I SAID IT.
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249. EXCUSE ME?
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250. I'VE NEVER
DONE A SINGLE THING
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251. ANYBODY HAS TOLD ME TO DO
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
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252. MY DAD TOLD ME NOT
TO WASTE MY TIME
WITH COLLEGE.
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253. I APPLIED THE NEXT DAY.
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254. MY DOCTORS TOLD ME
TO STOP DRINKING.
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255. I DRINK
EVERY CHANCE I GET.
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256. GROW A PAIR OF BALLS
AND STOP BEING A BITCH.
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257. GET OUT OF THE CAR.
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258. NO. NO.
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259. HE TURNED ME AROUND
LIKE THIS
Copy !req
260. AND HE WAS LIKE,
"I'M GONNA FINISH."
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261. I WAS LIKE, "JOEY,
YOU SON OF A BITCH,
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262. YOU'RE NOT FINISHING
UNTIL I SUCK
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263. THE GODDAMN HELL
OUT OF YOUR BIG—"
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264. THE END! THE END!
THANK YOU, MARY JO.
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265. WOW.
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266. IT FEELS SO GOOD
TO GET THAT OFF MY TITS.
Copy !req
267. WELL, I'LL SEE
YOU GUYS AROUND.
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268. BYE.
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269. SCREW IT.
I'LL GO AGAIN.
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270. I USED TO MASTURBATE
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271. EXCLUSIVELY
WITH MOTOR OIL.
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272. YEAH, I WAS THAT GUY.
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273. DID YOU GUYS TAPE
YOUR BONERS UP OR DOWN?
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274. I'M TAPED MY SHIT DOWN.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
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275. YO, LOOK,
JUST A HEADS UP...
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276. YOU MIGHT BE STARTING
THIS WEEKEND.
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277. - WHAT, WHY?
- BECAUSE I'M SMASHING
THAT GIRL TONIGHT.
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278. I DON'T CARE
ABOUT BEING BENCHED.
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279. I DON'T CARE
IF I END UP IN WINGS.
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280. I'M TAKING HER
TO MY BED TONIGHT.
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281. OKAY, EVERYBODY,
GATHER ROUND.
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282. THERE'S GONNA BE NATIONAL MEDIA
AT THE CHURCH TODAY.
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283. SO LET'S GO OVER THERE,
SMILE PRETTY,
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284. RUN AROUND A LITTLE BIT,
AND THEN GET THE HELL OUT.
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285. UNDERSTOOD?
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286. YES, COACH!
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287. HOW YOU DOING, COACH?
YOU WANT TO ENACT
A MERCY RULE?
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288. NO, I DON'T THINK
THAT'LL BE NECESSARY.
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289. YOU'RE GONNA TAKE IT EASY
ON US, THOUGH, RIGHT?
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290. EXCUSE ME.
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291. THAT WAS QUITE
THE PERFORMANCE YESTERDAY.
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292. YOU KNOW YOU COULD HAVE
AVOIDED THE WHOLE SITUATION
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293. IF YOU BENT ME OVER
AND NAILED ME WHEN
I WANTED YOU TO.
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294. HAVE A GOOD GAME.
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295. NO BEAV ON THREE.
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296. ONE, TWO, THREE.
NO BEAV!
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297. - OH SORRY! I'M SORRY!
- HOLY SHIT.
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298. BRIAN BOSWORTH
MADE ME DO IT!
I'M SORRY.
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299. MARTY!
KEEP IT CLEAN
FOR A CHANGE, HUH?
Copy !req
300. LISTEN, STAY STRONG.
ALL RIGHT? FOCUS.
Copy !req
301. YOU GET THIS
UNDER CONTROL.
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302. YOUR TEAM'S EMBARRASSING US
IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.
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303. I TOOK YOUR WIFE,
MARTY.
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304. DON'T MAKE ME
TAKE YOUR JOB TOO.
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305. STOP BEING
THEIR BITCH, COACH!
COME ON, DON'T DO IT.
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306. HEY, WARREN,
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307. THE DAY I LET YOU
OR YOUR WIFE
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308. TELL ME HOW TO DEAL
WITH MY PLAYERS
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309. IS THE DAY
DEBRA SWALLOWS.
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310. - EXCUSE ME?
- YOU HEARD ME.
Copy !req
311. YOU SEE THIS RIGHT HERE
ON THE FIELD?
Copy !req
312. THAT'S YOUR FAULT
FOR TRYING TO MAKE MY PLAYERS
BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT.
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313. YOU WANNA FIRE ME?
GOOD!
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314. I WANT YOU TO!
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315. I'LL FIND ANOTHER
COACHING JOB.
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316. WHEN I DO,
I'LL COME BACK EVERY YEAR
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317. AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!
YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.
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318. AND NEITHER ARE YOU!
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319. SECOND TEAM, GET IN THERE!
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320. NO. FIRST TEAM
STAYS IN THERE.
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321. RANDELL IS M.I.A.
Copy !req
322. MORAN,
YOU'RE IN FOR RANDELL!
Copy !req
323. I WANT YOU
TO BURY THESE PRICKS!
Copy !req
324. I WANT THEM PRAYING TO YOU
AFTER THE GAME!
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325. OH, I CAN'T GO
IN RIGHT NOW, COACH.
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326. WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
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327. I...
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328. I GOTTA GO POOP.
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329. HOLD IT IN.
GET IN THERE!
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330. YOU BETTER PRAY, SON.
I GOT YOUR NUMBER.
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331. YOU HAD BETTER PRAY!
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332. LET'S LEAVE IT UNLOCKED.
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333. I LIKE THE IDEA
OF MAYBE GETTING CAUGHT.
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334. YEAH, I LIKE THAT.
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335. YOU READY FOR THE FULL-ON
RADON RANDELL SEDUCTION?
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336. - COME ON.
- FATHER, I GOT
TO MAKE A CONFESSION.
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337. I WANT TO HAVE SEX
WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
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338. SHE'S ABOUT TO BANG
MY TEAMMATE IN A PORT-A-POTTY,
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339. AND I CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN.
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340. - THAT'S BETWEEN
YOU AND GOD.
- WHAT?
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341. YOU HAD BETTER PRAY!
COME ON!
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342. DOWN.
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343. PLEASE, GOD.
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344. SET, HIKE!
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345. UHN.
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346. LOOK, RADON,
I THINK YOU'RE AMAZING.
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347. BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
I GOTTA TELL YOU—
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348. MMN, RADON'S COMING.
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349. WHOSE IDEA
WAS THIS DUCT TAPE?
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350. AAH!
OH, MY DICKY!
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351. WHOO!
YOU LIKE THAT, HOTSHOT?
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352. THAT'S HOW DO
IN GOD'S HOUSE.
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353. YEAH.
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354. FATHER, YOU NEED
TO GET LAID.
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355. I BROKE MY DICKY!
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356. OH, IT HURTS!
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357. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
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358. THANK YOU.
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359. HI.
CONGRATULATIONS.
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360. YOU'RE ON THE FRONT PAGE
OF "DEADSPIN."
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361. THE DUCT TAPE WAS YOUR IDEA,
WASN'T IT?
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362. NO, IT WASN'T MY IDEA.
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363. ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'M GOING TO FRENCH YOU, ALEX.
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364. AND YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
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365. GET YOUR PRETTY FACES
AWAY FROM ME!
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366. I'M GOIN' TOP THREE!
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367. YOU PASSED THE TEST.
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368. ONE WHOLE WEEK
WITHOUT SEX PROVES
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369. YOU'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES
TO PERFORM AT THE PRO LEVEL.
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370. YOU WILL NOW BE THE NUMBER-ONE
DRAFT PICK NEXT YEAR.
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371. NUMERO UNO?
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372. NUMERO UNO, THAD.
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373. JUST LIKE ME.
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374. OH, THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU, MR. BOS—
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375. - DID YOU JUST—
- YEAH.
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376. JUST LIKE ME.
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