1. OKAY, LADIES, HERE'S HOW
WE'RE GONNA DO THIS.
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2. I'LL BE FLYING.
YOU TWO ARE CATCHING.
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3. YOU'RE GONNA DO SPLITS.
YOU'RE GONNA DO FLIPS.
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4. AND YOU, YOU SHAKE
YOUR POM-POMS.
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5. UGH! AGAIN?
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6. IS SHAKE MY POM-POMS.
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7. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T
DRUNK ALL THE TIME,
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8. MORE STUFF TO DO.
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9. I SHOW UP BUZZED, KARA.
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10. OKAY, FINE,
LOOK AT THIS, HUH?
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11. DURING PRACTICE.
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12. YOU LIKE THAT?
NOW CAN I DO IT?
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13. YOU KNOW, MISSY DOES
HAVE A SORE WRIST.
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14. - OKAY, FINE.
- BUT JUST TODAY.
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15. - SHIT YEAH!
DO IS CATCH ME.
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16. - ALL RIGHT?
FOLLOW KARA'S LEAD.
- NO PROBLEM.
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17. ARE YOU LADIES READY?
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18. - MY HEEL!
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19. - OH, MAN!
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20. LIKE 80 BUCKS, YOU GUYS.
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21. KATE!
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22. - Man: CAN YOU FEEL THAT?
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23. YOU BETTER HOLD ON.
THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY.
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24. ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT
HAVE A FOUR-HOUR PRACTICE,
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25. WHY CAN'T WE
TO DRINK A COLD BEER?
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26. - OR LIKE NAP TIME, HUH?
- OH, NO, I DON'T TAKE
NAPS, MAN.
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27. - I DON'T TRUST 'EM.
- REALLY?
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28. I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
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29. IT'S THE OFFSEASON
CONDITIONING PROGRAM.
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30. THICK THIS YEAR.
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31. HEY, COACH, DO YOU HAVE
FOR THE BACKUPS?
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32. - NO.
- HEY, HOW COME
HE DON'T GOT ONE?
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33. IN THE OFFSEASON.
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34. SO IF I DO ANOTHER SPORT,
I DON'T HAVE TO DO CONDITIONING?
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35. THAT'S RIGHT.
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36. TWO-SPORT ATHLETES, BOY.
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37. IN THE DAY.
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38. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT, MAN. BO JACKSON,
DEION SANDERS!
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39. STOP PLAYING, MAN.
WHOO!
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40. - HOW COME THEY DON'T
DO THAT NO MORE?
- I DON'T KNOW.
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41. I'M GONNA BRING
THAT SHIT BACK, WATCH.
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42. SO AM I, RADON.
SO AM I.
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43. BLOW! DRINK.
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44. HOW ABOUT BASKETBALL?
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45. HELL, NO, MAN!
MY EGO COULDN'T TAKE
GETTING DUNKED ON.
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46. - FENCING?
- NO, THAT'S A WHITE
PEOPLE SPORT.
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47. AIN'T A BLACK MAN ALIVE
THAT FENCES.
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48. - HOCKEY?
AND YOU COME BACK WITH HOCKEY?
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49. HOCKEY COULD BE PERFECT.
I COULD BE THE BACKUP GOALIE.
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50. I'LL NEVER PLAY,
AND EVEN IF I DO,
WE'RE GETTING KILLED,
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51. SO WHO CARES?
AND YOU...
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52. YOU COULD BE A TRAILBLAZER.
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53. - CAN YOU SKATE?
- I CAN ROLLER-SKATE.
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54. - SAME THING.
- ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU RIGHT, MAN.
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55. PLAY IT, RIGHT?
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56. - PLAY WHAT?
- WE'RE TRYING OUT
FOR THE HOCKEY TEAM.
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57. THAT'S GREAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? ME TOO.
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58. I'M GONNA BE
THE HOCKEY TEAM'S NEW MASCOT.
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59. SAMMY, THEY DON'T
HAVE MASCOTS IN HOCKEY.
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60. - THEY HAVE A ZAMBONI DRIVER.
- IS THAT A CHALLENGE?
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61. - NO.
LIKE A CHALLENGE.
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62. ACCEPTED.
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63. HEY, LADIES.
OH, WHAT'S THAT?
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64. IT'S YOUR NEW JOB.
YOU'RE THAD CASTLE'S
CHEERLEADER NOW.
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65. IT USED TO BE KATE'S JOB
BEFORE YOU,
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66. YOU KNOW,
SPRAINED HER ANKLE.
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67. - Kate: YOU'LL MAKE SURE
HE'S READY FOR EVERY GAME.
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68. MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY
AND EMOTIONALLY.
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69. YOU'RE AT
HIS BECK AND CALL.
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70. KATE, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE MILKING THE ANKLE
THING JUST A LITTLE BIT?
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71. YOU'RE THAD CASTLE'S
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72. OR YOU'RE NO
CHEERLEADER AT ALL.
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73. - HAVE FUN. IT SUCKS.
- YEAH.
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74. OF ME.
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75. - WHOO!
- Coach: PERFECTION!
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76. WILL BE TOLERATED.
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77. NOW IF YOU DIDN'T COME
HERE TO BRING ME THE BEST,
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78. THEN STAY OFF MY ICE!
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79. THE PAST TWO SEASONS.
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80. WE'RE GONNA GO BACK
TO THE FROZEN FOUR.
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81. WHO'S COMING WITH ME?
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82. BREAK UP INTO SQUADS.
LET'S GO.
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83. LET'S GO!
COME ON, LET'S GO.
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84. WHAT IS WITH THE PADS?
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85. TO TAKE MY JOB?
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86. - WHAT?
- 'CAUSE IF YOU ARE,
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87. WILL BREAK YOU.
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88. NO, IT'S QUITE
THE OPPOSITE ACTUALLY.
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89. I'M HERE
TO BE YOUR BACKUP.
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90. YOU SHIT, ANTTI?
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91. LET ME GUESS,
YOU'RE THE ENFORCER.
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92. - PUNCH HIM IN THE FAZZ, BYERS.
- WHOA, HOLD ON, NO, NO.
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93. NO PUNCHING IN THE FAZZ,
ALL RIGHT?
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94. IT'S A MISUNDERSTANDING.
I'M A FOOTBALL PLAYER.
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95. I'M LOOKING TO
IN THE OFFSEASON.
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96. AND GET SOME FREE BEER?
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97. - All: WHOO!
- ACCEPTED.
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98. HEY, ASSHOLE!
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99. OH, SHIT.
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100. HEY, WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
HOW YOU DOING?
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101. TO CUT MY BRAKES?
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102. WHAT? NO. COME ON.
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103. HEY, SAMMY CACCIATORE.
I'M THE NEW HOCKEY
TEAM MASCOT.
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104. - GOOD TO MEET YOU.
- THIS IS A HOCKEY TEAM, KID.
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105. WE DON'T HAVE A MASCOT.
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106. AROUND BETWEEN PERIODS,
AND THAT'S THAT.
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107. LISTEN, WHEN I RUN
ONTO THE FOOTBALL FIELD,
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108. 90,000 PEOPLE
STAND UP AND CHEER.
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109. THING AROUND,
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110. AND TAKE CRAPS.
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111. HELP YOU OUT.
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112. - WHAT THE HELL NOW?
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113. YOUR MINDS BLOWN.
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114. TO BE BROKEN,
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115. AND THEY'RE ABOUT
TO BE BROKEN TODAY, BABY.
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116. IS HE TRYING IN OUT TOO?
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117. - YEAH.
- Radon: I'M OKAY.
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118. ON SOME ICE.
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119. - OH, HI, HOW'S IT GOING?
I'M MARY—
- NO NAMES.
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120. YOU'RE MY CHEERLEADER NOW.
THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.
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121. MY MANIFESTO?
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122. IT'S MOSTLY JUST PICTURES,
ISN'T IT?
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123. - IT'S A GRAPHIC NOVEL.
- OH.
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124. MY FAVORITE BEVERAGE.
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125. UM...
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126. TWO MOJITOS, POR FAVOR.
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127. NICELY DONE. SHOULD BE
A LITTLE QUICKER NEXT TIME.
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128. - YEAH.
- POP QUIZ! WHAT'S MY
FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
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129. TOO LATE. LUCKY CHARMS.
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130. MY MORNING POOP. WHY?
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131. 'CAUSE MY BITCH MOTHER
TOLD ME I COULDN'T
WHEN I WAS A KID.
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132. - I'M SORRY.
MY SHIRTS FOLDED?
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133. - LET ME SEE.
- TRICK QUESTION.
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134. TO AVOID WRINKLES.
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135. - ARE YOU WRITING THIS DOWN?
IN THE MANIFESTO.
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136. NOT ALL OF IT.
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137. PSYCH! YES, IT IS.
YES, IT'S ALL IN
THE MANIFESTO.
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138. TAKE A CHILL PILL.
YOU LOOK CONFUSED.
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139. I'LL SEE YOU FIRST THING
CAN POP MY ASS ZITS.
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140. - MAN, ICE HOCKEY IS NOTHING
LIKE ROLLER-SKATING.
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141. I WAS WAY OFF.
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142. LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
IT WAS JUST THE FIRST DAY.
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143. ON THE FIRST DAY.
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144. BRAKE LINES ON A ZAMBONI?
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145. TWO-INCHES THICK.
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146. I'M NEED TO RETHINK
MY STRATEGY.
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147. NEVER MIND.
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148. OKAY, LISTEN,
WHEN THE PLAYERS GET HERE,
WE GOTTA WIN 'EM OVER.
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149. LOTS OF SEX AND BOOZE.
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150. ALL RIGHT?
BOYS!
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151. YOU MADE IT!
GRAB A DRINK.
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152. I'LL TAKE YOUR DRINK.
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153. WELL, OKAY,
HE'LL HAVE MY DRINK.
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154. HEY!
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155. YOU GUYS AROUND.
- YEAH!
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156. ALEX, THESE WOMEN
ARE INCREDIBLE.
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157. TO GET ONE?
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158. YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FIGHT ANYBODY.
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159. NO, YOU JUST GOTTA
GO TALK TO THEM.
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160. TO THESE GIRLS?
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161. - YEAH.
- YOU'RE JUST A BACKUP.
YOU'RE A NO ONE.
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162. IT'S CALLED
TRICKLE-DOWN BANGING.
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163. TRICKLE-DOWN BANGING?
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164. IF YOU GET ME
ON THE HOCKEY TEAM,
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165. I'LL TELL YOU ALL
ABOUT IT. YEAH!
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166. LET'S GET TWO SHOTS
OF VODKA, PLEASE.
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167. - TWO VODKA.
- TWO VODKA.
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168. OH, SNACK FOOD.
CAN I EAT THEM?
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169. GO AHEAD, MAN.
HELP YOURSELF.
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170. HAVE AT IT.
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171. SO, CLAUDE, YOU'RE
THE TEAM CAPTAIN, RIGHT?
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172. CORRECT.
IT'S A GREAT PRIVILEGE.
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173. YEAH, SO HOW COME
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174. IS LEADING THE TEAM IN SCORING?
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175. RENEE IS VERY GOOD.
I ASSIST HIM.
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176. THAT'S COOL.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW ASSISTS
DON'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING.
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177. YOU SHOULD BE SCORING.
ME? I WANNA SCORE EVERY
TIME I TOUCH THE BALL.
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178. TO MY RECEIVERS.
I HATE IT.
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179. OF MY DAY
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180. THAT BALL OUT MY HAND.
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181. - KNOW WHAT THAT MAKES ME?
- SELFISH.
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182. IT MAKES ME THE KING, MAN.
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183. LISTEN, GRETZKY DIDN'T
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184. BY PASSING THE PUCK.
REMEMBER THAT.
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185. WHERE I CAN GET A HAND JOB?
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186. MORAN, WHY ARE THERE
HOCKEY PLAYERS IN MY HOUSE?
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187. FOR THE HOCKEY TEAM.
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188. THEY'RE NOT WELCOME HERE.
THEY'RE NOT LIKE US.
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189. THEY'RE A LITTLE STRANGE,
BUT WHO CARES?
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190. A LITTLE STRANGE?
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191. ON THE BOTTOM OF THEIR FEET.
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192. OUT CONSTANTLY AND DON'T
BOTHER TO GET THEM FIXED.
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193. THEY HAVE MULTIPLE CAPTAINS.
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194. OF ME ON A TEAM?
- OH GOD.
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195. I'M GOING BACK TO MY BEDROOM.
I'M GONNA COME BACK OUT
IN FIVE MINUTES,
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196. AND IF THEY'RE NOT GONE,
I'M GONNA KICK YOU
SQUARE IN THE NUTS.
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197. RIGHT.
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198. MOVE, GET OUT
OF MY WAY. MOVE IT!
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199. - CAN I HELP YOU?
- YEAH, THIS IS MY ROOM.
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200. ACTUALLY, I'M ALL SET.
ENJOY YOUR STAY.
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201. THAT ONE HURT.
YEAH, RIGHT THERE.
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202. - MM-HMM, YEAH.
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203. ALEX, HOW'S IT GOING?
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204. IT'S PERFECT.
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205. YOU DON'T PLAY...
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206. - NO.
- ... YOU DON'T FIGHT...
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207. - UH-UH.
- ... YOU DON'T WORK HARD,
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208. AND YOU PARTY ALL THE TIME.
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209. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
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210. WELL, I LIKE TO SET
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211. LET DOWN, YOU KNOW?
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212. LIFESTYLE, ALEX.
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213. - IT'S CRAZY. IT'S SEXY.
IT'S COOL.
- IT'S FUN.
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214. MY DREAM WAS TO BE IN N.H.L.,
BUT JUST LIKE IN FOOTBALL,
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215. BACKUP GOALIES GET DRAFTED.
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216. BACKUP GOALIE.
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217. - MANY THANKS TO YOU.
- WHAT?
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218. - HEY!
- I'M TELLING YOU, CLAUDE,
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219. YOU BACK, MAN.
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220. IT'S OKAY TO HAVE AN EGO.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD AN EGO?
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221. MUHAMMED ALI.
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222. REMEMBER HIM?
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY,
STING LIKE A WHAT?
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223. - BAE!
- THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, MAN.
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224. - HEY, CHARLIE!
- OH, GREAT.
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225. LISTEN, WE GOT OFF
THE OTHER DAY.
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226. I HELP YOU OUT, HUH?
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227. I DON'T NEED
ANY HELP, KID.
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228. YEAH, YOU KIND OF DO,
CHARLIE.
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229. CHANGING AND YOU DON'T SEEM
TO WANT TO CHANGE WITH IT.
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230. BEEN DOING THIS FOR?
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231. I DON'T KNOW—
30, 35 FIVE YEARS.
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232. DINOSAUR SHIT, CHARLIE.
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233. IT'S TIME TO ADAPT
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234. BY A WAY YOUNGER,
FOREIGN ZAMBONI DRIVER.
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235. YOU GET ME ON THAT ICE,
AND WE'LL HAVE THIS PLACE
ROCKING, CHARLIE.
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236. I MEAN, PEOPLE
AND SCREAMING YOUR NAME.
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237. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
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238. I SAY I THINK YOU'RE
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239. FOR ME TO SAY NO
TO YOU, KID.
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240. - OH, GOOD, YOU'RE AWAKE.
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241. THERE'S A HOCKEY ENFORCER
LIVING IN MY BEDROOM.
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242. UNTIL HE MOVES OUT,
I'M LIVING WITH YOU.
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243. - LIVING WITH ME?
- IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?
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244. IN A DORM.
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245. I HATE DORMS,
BUT WE'LL MAKE IT WORK.
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246. QUESTION, CAN I PUT
TACKS IN OUR WALL?
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247. 'CAUSE I HAVE
POSTERS I WANNA HANG UP.
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248. - LIVING WITH ME?
- SO THERE IS AN ECHO IN HERE.
THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP.
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249. ALL RIGHT, WELL,
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250. - I'LL TAKE MY BREAKFAST
IN BED WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
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251. - OH, GREAT.
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252. WAS THAT FOR, DUCHARME?
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253. TO BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE,
AND WITHIN ONE WEEK,
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254. HOCKEY TEAM.
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255. WITH YOUR HOCKEY TEAM?
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256. THIS IS AMERICA.
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257. ABOUT COLLEGE HOCKEY HERE.
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258. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE WRONG.
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259. 'CAUSE WE GOT A TELEVISED
GAME THIS YEAR ON CABLE,
SO THERE!
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260. ONE MORE TIME, AND I'M
GONNA TAKE YOU OUT.
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261. - LET'S GO.
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262. - LET'S GO, BRING IT!
- NO!
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263. - COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO!
- I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS ASSHOLE.
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264. YOU DON'T WANNA FIGHT
A HOCKEY COACH.
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265. HEY, I'M GONNA GET
THIS HOCKEY SHIT DOWN, MAN.
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266. I'M FROM DETROIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
WE ROLLER-SKATE.
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267. - ANTTI.
- ALEX! WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
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268. - DO YOU LIKE THE CLOTHES?
- YEAH, I LIKE THE CLOTHES.
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269. PUT THEM IN MY CLOSET.
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270. - HOW DID YOU GET THESE?
- YOUR WINDOW WAS UNLOCKED.
I LET MYSELF IN.
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271. JUST LIKE YOU, ALEX.
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272. YOU'RE THE KING OF B.M.S.
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273. MAN, THAT DUDE IS
WEIRD AS SHIT, HOMEY.
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274. FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES
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275. REALIZED IT WASN'T YOU.
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276. OH MY GOD.
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277. ANTTI, YOU HAVE A REALLY
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278. GOALIE POSITION.
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279. ALEX, I'M YOUR BACKUP NOW.
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280. I TRICKLE-DOWN BANG THE GIRLS.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
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281. OKAY, LOOK,
I CAN'T START IN GOAL.
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282. THE TEAM'S GONNA SUCK.
SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
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283. I NEED TO BE YOUR BACKUP.
OTHERWISE I'M GONNA SPEND
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284. LIFTING WEIGHTS AND RUNNING.
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285. I DON'T LIKE RUNNING, OKAY?
THERE'S NO OTHER SPORT
THAT WORKS FOR ME.
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286. SO PLEASE DON'T
TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME.
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287. IF YOU WANT THE BACKUP POSITION,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE IT FROM ME.
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288. OH, SHIT, CLAUDE!
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289. THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, BABY.
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290. CAPTAIN RIGHT NOW, MAN.
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291. THIS LEAGUE.
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292. - RENEE WHO?
- MY MAN!
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293. TO SOME GIRLS.
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294. THE GAME, I HAVE A VERY
SPECIFIC RITUAL.
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295. A FRACTION OF IT,
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296. I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO
THE DAY ALL OVER.
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297. IF I DO THAT, I'LL BE
LATE FOR THE GAME.
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298. THAT HAPPEN.
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299. SO THIS GUY'S
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300. FOR THE HOCKEY TEAM?
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301. WHO'S THE ENFORCER
FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM?
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302. WE DON'T HAVE ONE.
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303. AND BECOME ONE, HMM?
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304. WHY DON'T YOU
AND BECOME ONE?
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305. FINE, MAYBE I WILL
GROW SOME BALLS.
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306. OUT OF MY LIFE.
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307. - UGH!
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308. GET BACK HERE!
YOU'RE NOT DONE
WITH MY NIPPLES!
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309. BRING ME DOWN HERE, SAMMY?
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310. WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT.
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311. I CAN'T GROW TITS, SON.
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312. I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT THE TITS, CHARLIE.
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313. WELL, I AM, BUT I'M NOT.
I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE SHOWMANSHIP.
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314. A SHOW, CHARLIE.
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315. YOU KNOW WHAT?
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316. YOU'RE REALLY
MY HEARTSTRINGS, KID.
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317. SURE. GOTTA GO.
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318. KATE, KARA,
I JUST CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.
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319. YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT,
OKAY?
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320. NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO TAKE THAD BACK.
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321. SUCKS, RIGHT?
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322. HIS NIPPLES YET?
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323. AFTER HIS LUCKY CHARMS POOP.
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324. - OH!
- YEAH.
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325. ON YOURSELF.
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326. GIVES YOU THE OKAY.
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327. AND THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN
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328. AT THE GOAT HOUSE.
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329. - SORRY.
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330. - HELLO.
- Thad: Cheerleader now.
My ball rub.
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331. LAST DAY OF TRYOUTS,
GENTLEMEN.
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332. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
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333. WHAT THE HELL, ANTTI?
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334. COME ON, ANTTI!
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335. HEY!
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336. CLAUDE, RENEE, CUT THE SHIT!
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337. HEY, OFFENSE!
COME ON, BRING IT IN.
BRING IT IN.
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338. LET'S HAVE A GOOD
PRACTICE TODAY.
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339. FIRST PLAY, WE'RE GONNA
LINE UP, SPLIT LEFT, 52 DRIVE.
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340. NOW, RADON,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE—
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341. WHERE'S RADON?
WHERE'S MORAN?
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342. ARE MY QUARTERBACKS?
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343. GOT A MESSAGE FROM RADON.
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344. LAST DAY OF HOCKEY TRYOUTS.
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345. WELL, THIS SHIT'S
GONNA STOP TODAY.
GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.
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346. TAKE OVER.
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347. REALLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.
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348. SO CONGRATULATIONS,
YOU'VE ALL MADE THE TEAM.
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349. - Radon: YEAH!
- WE DID IT. NO WEIGHTS!
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350. - NO RUNNING.
- DEION SANDERS, BABY,
HERE WE COME.
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351. ANATOLY SAMSONOV.
IMMIGRATION.
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352. - AMERICAN.
TO RUSSIA AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
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353. NO NO NO.
HEY, THEY'RE ALL I GOT LEFT!
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354. HEY, NO, NO,
DON'T DO THIS TO ME!
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355. SHIT!
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356. DUCHARME.
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357. MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL
ON ANOTHER MAN'S FLOOR.
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358. - FENCING?
- FENCING.
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359. - YEAH.
- LET'S GO.
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360. OH, GREAT, WHAT NOW?
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361. LET'S GIVE THEM THE SHOW
THEY'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR, CHARLIE.
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362. - HIT THE MUSIC.
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363. YEAH, WE DID IT, CHARLIE.
WE DID IT!
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364. - LOOK AT US.
- WE SURE DID, KID.
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365. WE SURE DID!
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366. - ANYBODY IN HERE?
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367. OH, EXCUSE ME.
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368. HEY, YOU.
YEAH, HELLO.
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369. TAKE THE HEADPHONES OFF.
HELLO.
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370. HEY, YOU, HEADPHONES.
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371. HEY, HEY THERE,
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372. MR. SCARY ENFORCER
ASSHOLE MAN, YEAH.
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373. SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CAN MOVE BACK IN.
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374. I'M NEVER LEAVING
THIS HOUSE.
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375. ALL RIGHT, WELL,
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376. YOUR FINAL WARNING,
YOUNG MAN.
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377. RIGHT NOW,
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378. REAL FAST.
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379. OOH, I'M SHAKING.
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380. WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
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381. WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON?
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382. THANKS, GUYS.
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383. COME ON, GUYS, HELP ME!
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384. I DON'T WANNA GO!
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385. - YOU DID THIS?
- YEP.
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386. GREW SOME BALLS.
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387. FOOTBALL ENFORCER.
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388. NOW YOU HAVE TILL 5:00
OF MY ROOM.
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389. - YOU'RE WELCOME.
- HEY!
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390. YOU!
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391. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK,
WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS!
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392. WAS AWFUL.
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393. EW! NOW GO
MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
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394. AND IF YOU
PUT MAYONNAISE ON IT,
I SWEAR I'M GONNA FLIP OUT.
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