Blark and Son 2x5

Directed by

Donald Faison as Fletch (voice) • Deborah Baker Jr. as Regina (voice) • Ben Bayouth as Blark (voice)

Son asks Fletch for a very serious favor: Keep Blark out of his room while he has a heart-to-heart with Regina.

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!req Blark and Son 2x5 [02:32]
!req Blark and Son 2x5 [Blark and Son 2x5]
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For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Blark and Son 2x5 [10-11]; !req Blark and Son 2x5 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - Thanks for writing this email, son.

2. I'd call, but I'm saving my voice for Sunday at 3:00 P.M.

3. Me and the disgruntled senior citizen quad

4. are singing "Paper Cut" by Lincoln Park.

5. - Don't care.

6. (exhales static) Attention all geezers,

7. if you could please follow the skeet socks

8. to the nearest exit.

9. - I owe you a solid, son

10. and a solid from Fletcher Bastille Murphy never expires.

11. You have your whole goddamn life to collect.

12. - Hey mother (beeps)

13. - Fletch, I'm gonna call in a solid right now,

14. please keep my dad outta here for the next 30 minutes.

15. - Sir, yes sir!

16. - Regina, so nice of you to stop by.

17. - Oh cut the (beeps) son.

18. Were you really just going to ignore me

19. after we got into a fight last week?

20. - I ruined our date.

21. You hate me. (crying)

22. - (groaning) I don't hate you.

23. Just because our relationship is over

24. doesn't mean our friendship needs to be.

25. What I hate is you not coming to me to patch things up,

26. but when Mama G cares about something that's broken,

27. Mama G fixes it.

28. - God, you're so confident

29. and sexy.

30. - We're fixing this friendship, all right?

31. Exactly the way our favorite characters

32. from Teenage Ghost Warrior fixed theirs

33. in episode 48, season 12.

34. - You're gonna scoop my eyes out

35. and fill them with the Devil's honey?

36. (evil laughing) - Oh, mm, my bad.

37. Episode 38, season 12.

38. We're gonna lock that door and eat this sugary root

39. which is going to open us up big time.

40. Then we're gonna talk it out

41. until things aren't awkward anymore.

42. Ya in?

43. - No leaving this room until we save our friendship.

44. (exhales) Bottom's up.

45. (upbeat music) - Son?

46. - Not now, dad

47. - Hey son. - Get out!

48. - I love you, son!

49. - I'll go crazy.

50. - 1981, you and I trucking poison bananas

51. across the Kapapa Islands.

52. We stop at a gas station

53. (door bell rings) and I buy you a Slurpee

54. because you left your wallet in the car.

55. Do you remember that Blark?

56. - I remember as if it were years ago.

57. $0.89, XXL, small, Bahama Mama Blast.

58. - And you remember what you told me

59. after I purchased it for ya?

60. - That I owed you a solid?

61. - Shake my hand.

62. - Oh (beeps) homey.

63. - Now that you're locked in bahana,

64. son's in there patching things up with Regina

65. after their date night blowup.

66. (beeps) going down!

67. Your boy called in a solid from me

68. asking to keep you outta there for 30 minutes.

69. Now I'm calling a solid from you.

70. No going in there, Blark, 'til 6:42, starting now.

71. - I'll never forgive this.

72. - I have liked you for like a really long time,

73. but you were with Zeke and then when you guys broke up,

74. I was so happy that we finally became a thing.

75. - Oh man totally, me too.

76. - Exactly, wow,

77. this root is like flying through my system right now.

78. - Yeah dude, I'm feeling it real hard. (laughs)

79. - So anyway, that's why that day died,

80. I was just trying to impress you and I thought,

81. oh.

82. - You good, dude?

83. (gurgling) - Regina,

84. I need you to leave.

85. - What?

86. (heart beating) What's happening?

87. Why are you whispering?

88. Why am I whispering?

89. - The root.

90. Listen, if I move or talk too loud,

91. I am 100% going to poop in my pants.

92. - You have a queen?

93. - Must

94. see

95. son.

96. - You all right?

97. - I'm dandy.

98. I just need

99. water.

100. Call it off, Fletch, call off the solid

101. or I'll blow my (beeps) brains out!

102. My blood will be on your hands (beeps)

103. Call it off!

104. (stopwatch ticking) - It's been nine minutes.

105. Are ya finished?

106. - Yes.

107. - Good.

108. Now, do you have

109. a queen?

110. - Go fish.

111. - Mother (beeps)! (dramatic music)

112. - Okay, I guess I'll leave.

113. - You know what?

114. Stay, it's okay.

115. This is important to me and I think I can make it.

116. (gurgling) - Are you sure?

117. - It's now or never, babe.

118. - Okay, I was pissed that you weren't listening to me

119. and then I blew up on you after being a dick

120. because you just ignored me, which was not cool!

121. But then, (dramatic music)

122. - Lower abdomen?

123. - Mmhmm.

124. - Dull yet sharp pain that feels

125. like an over-filled water balloon perched on a pin cushion?

126. - Yep.

127. - You're in.

128. - No no no no, this can't be happening.

129. I cannot crap my pants in front of you.

130. I will literally kill myself.

131. I want to leave, but if I lift my knees past my knees,

132. I'll shotgun, butt chum out my dumper.

133. Son, what do we do?

134. - We do what we came here to do,

135. but it's gotta be quick, 'cause G,

136. there is a man out there named Blark

137. who hasn't barged into this room for a full 27 minutes

138. and when he does come in here,

139. our butt holes don't stand a chance.

140. - Let's finish this, Tark.

141. - Regina, I am so sorry for not listening,

142. but I'm even more sorry that I was not man enough

143. in reaching out afterwards.

144. That was wrong of me.

145. Our friendship means everything to me.

146. (groaning) I want you to know that.

147. - Son, I got a lot on my plate at home

148. and sometimes I take my aggression out on people I love.

149. So I'm sorry for that,

150. but you hurt my feelings, dude.

151. And I know this isn't the right way to say this, but

152. (grunts) but I wish you would have manned up and called me.

153. You're my best

154. friend. (slow, dramatic music)

155. And I never wanna lose you.

156. (body thumps) - Hm?

157. Blark?

158. - I don't wanna lose you either, G.

159. (clock ticking) - So,

160. no more awkwardness?

161. - No more awkwardness.

162. - A queen, go fish.

163. - I just wanted to (inhaling)

164. What happened here?

165. - I told ya, Blark, we're not supposed to (sniffing)

166. I think what happened here

167. is the kids thought eating some dirty ass backyard root

168. would make for a cute way to solve their problems.

169. Little did they know, it would simply make them

170. (beeps) their little butt holes rotten.

171. Now they're both slacks deep in kid doogie

172. and embarrassed the hell by it, as they should be.

173. - Yep.

174. - Maybe the best thing for us to do

175. is leave them be.

176. - Hm, yeah,

177. maybe.

178. Or,

179. You guys (beeps) your pants!

180. - Smells like the (yelling incoherently)

181. You're idiots! (men laughing)

182. Is that why you called a solid, son?

183. To (beeps) yourself? (laughs)