Blark and Son 1x6

Directed by

Deborah Baker Jr. as Regina (voice) • Jim Rash as Stacey (voice)

Son is terrified by a story he read on the internet, and it's up to Blark to make him confront his fear.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - As Victor pulled his gnarled, bloody stumps

2. out of his shoes, he realized the shoe snake

3. had claimed another victim.

4. S-S-S-Snake-s-s-s-s.

5. - This freaky fettuccine site is scary,

6. which I'm like totally down for, by the way.

7. But all these stories are fake, right?

8. - No, that's the best part.

9. Zeke told me all of them are real.

10. Oh knuckle rappers, Gene's here, later alligator.

11. - See ya Regina.

12. My sweet raven of the night.

13. Huh, Clovis La Roche?

14. In 1926 New Orleans,

15. Clovis Clemens was accused of over 50 counts of murder.

16. He'd snatch neighborhood children

17. and feed them to his bloodthirsty alligator, La Roche.

18. - Clovis would play his accordion

19. to mask the screams of the kids being eaten alive.

20. Until one night, he waded into the swamp himself

21. and fused with La Roche creating Clovis La Roche.

22. After he gets ya, and he will, he'll suck your soul

23. into the reeds of his squeeze box.

24. And you'll be another note in his symphony of screams.

25. Also, he'll take your fingers

26. and put them in a bindle slung over his shoulder.

27. And also, he'll take your hat!

28. - Son, your Papa Roach cooked you some breakfast.

29. - 10 fingers, 10 toes, 10 fingers, 10 toes.

30. - What's got my child riled?

31. - Oh Dad, it's Clovis La Roche.

32. He's gonna get me.

33. - Grover the Coach?

34. - Clovis La Roche!

35. The child eating gator man from Louisiana.

36. If I hear the wheeze of his squeeze box,

37. he'll gobble me up.

38. I'll be a swamp snack in his swamp shack.

39. - Whoa, scary, good thing he only eats kids like you.

40. - F you old man.

41. You think that's it?

42. After he eats me, he's gonna put my cut off fingers

43. in his bindle.

44. - Mm the finger bindle.

45. Seems like a hat on a hat.

46. - Oh, I haven't even gotten to the hat part yet.

47. After your dead, he takes your hat.

48. - Okay, that's just dumb.

49. Besides, if this bogus cologne guy did come here

50. why wouldn't you just choke him out?

51. - Choke him out?

52. I'm 90% body fat.

53. If all you're gonna do is make me feel bad,

54. then you can just leave.

55. 10 fingers, 10 toes, 10 fingers, 10 toes.

56. 10 fingers, 10 toes, 10 fingers, 10 toes.

57. - The real problem is Son thinks he's too weak

58. to keep this Boris McToast fella from murdering him.

59. - Well, at his age fears can seem insurmountable.

60. I, for example, used to be terrified of tight spaces

61. and being buried alive by a band of psychotic hillbillies.

62. - Ty Barry you ought leave your gorgeous face exposed.

63. - One summer, my kid sister Greg

64. taped a bankers box over my head

65. and forced me to lay in a sprinkler trench for a week.

66. - Sweet Christ, that's a grim image.

67. - Maybe if you present this Clover the Ghost guy

68. to your son in a friendly manner,

69. he'll extinguish the associative fear he has,

70. and provide him with what we call emotional power over it.

71. - Your brain is almost as impressive as your cheekbones.

72. - By the way, thanks again for helping me out with the AC.

73. I really owe you one bud.

74. - Hmm.

75. - Blark, I think the time we've spent crafting this

76. outweighs the monetary value of fixing my AC.

77. - Shh, you're beautiful.

78. - Oh, this head mask is pretty tight.

79. - Just stick to the script I wrote Stace.

80. My name's Clovis and I'm full now.

81. Me and all the dead kids in my accordion

82. think you're a cool guy.

83. Hang on, I'll be right back.

84. - I'm wrestling.

85. - Son, I've got a very dope surprise for you

86. in the living room.

87. - No, no more living rooms.

88. This is my home now.

89. I'm gonna stay in here and push my lane

90. as my favorite champion Tryndamere the Barbarian King.

91. - Tryndamere, huh?

92. - Yup.

93. - You think Tryndamere would be scared of Clovis?

94. - Pfft, with one swing of his 10 foot sword,

95. Tryndamere would turn Clovis into a hot smear.

96. Plus, he can activate undying rage

97. and become temporarily immortal.

98. - Well for now I'm safe and sound above the ground.

99. I'm safe and sound above the ground,

100. safe and sound above the ground,

101. safe and sound above the ground, safe and sound.

102. - Whew whee, this one's still alive.

103. - Good catch Clem.

104. Make sure you bury him

105. alive or dead.

106. - Dad, what are you doing?

107. - I'm giving you the power of Tryingdammer.

108. - His name is Tryndamere,

109. and he isn't real.

110. - But you're real.

111. And without you, all those little blue dudes

112. would beat Tryndamere with their magic baseball bats.

113. - Crystal wands, but I get what you're saying.

114. - Oh God, what's happening?

115. - I'm saying, he only does what you let him.

116. You cast every spell,

117. and you've killed every baseball player sent his way.

118. You are Tryndamere, Son.

119. - Pick me up.

120. I'm still alive.

121. - Uh oh, Stacey, not now.

122. - Screw you La Roche, undying rage!

123. - Here it comes.

124. Holy shh, Son you got a mean right hook.

125. Just like your Pappy.

126. - Thanks Dad, I hope Stacey's okay.

127. - He's more than okay.

128. I bought 12 of his books to use as kindling for the winter.

129. A small price to pay to see you conquer your fear

130. of Corbin the Musical Gator.

131. Why are your shoes filled with newspaper?

132. - Shoe snakes Dad, shoe snakes.

133. - (laughing) Shoe snakes, oh?

134. Shoe snakes?

135. - I already stuffed your shoes Dad.

136. - Oh, good, good.

137. All right, love you Son.

138. - Sweet.