Blark and Son 1x4

Directed by

Jim Rash as Stacey (voice)

Son makes Blark insecure about his legacy, so he strives to achieve some kind of immortality.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Everyone knows our songs, Tit Boat and Rubik's Boob,

2. but we wanted to stretch creatively.

3. - And artistically, which is why

4. we wrote the song Nipple Party.

5. - That song changed my view on life, and nipples.

6. - Our music is our legacy.

7. What's your legacy?

8. - My legacy?

9. Uh son, you're home.

10. Hey, how was school?

11. - I got this dumb project from my

12. dumb history class about our dumb family.

13. - Well, this old tuna can is

14. packed full of salty Blark family memories.

15. Wanna crack it open and take a whiff?

16. - Dad, there's no need to hack through the

17. gnarled vines of our family tree.

18. I already know that your great great uncle

19. supposedly invented the bicycle seat.

20. - Do you have any idea what people did

21. before that man came along?

22. - Rode around with pipes up their butts?

23. - Well sure, those are the broad strokes,

24. but let me dive into the details.

25. You see son, the human anus-

26. - Dad!

27. - Settle down, this won't take long.

28. The Blark family history actually begins

29. in the year 1990.

30. - Oh.

31. - B.C.

32. - I found a treasure trove of family history, dig in.

33. - These are photos of Asian women

34. opening pickle jars with their feet.

35. - Oop, wrong box.

36. - Look, my assignment is to pick

37. one ancestor that I'm proud of.

38. Do we even have one of those?

39. - Do we?

40. Our family's grubby fingers have been

41. knuckle deep in history's pie for years.

42. - Mary-Todd, why don't we stay in tonight?

43. - Hey Abe, I got free tickets to the theater

44. and they're balcony seats.

45. - Iceberg dead ahead, let's go around it!

46. - Around it, no, we're going through it

47. I don't want to be

48. too hands on with these Star Wars prequels.

49. - George, you've got to write and direct these yourself!

50. And make 'em all about trade disputes,

51. audiences eat that stuff up.

52. - Dad, those are in arguably the three darkest

53. and most terrible moments in human history.

54. This project has to be about someone

55. in our family that I'm actually proud of.

56. So I guess I could write,

57. about you!

58. My beloved hermit crab Sandy Dumpkin!

59. She's pretty crafty, and technically a family member.

60. - Ah, sure does make a lot of sense.

61. Doesn't hurt my feelings at all.

62. Not one bit.

63. - Hmmm?

64. - Thanks for seeing me Stacy.

65. - Well, I am trying to

66. drum up business, so I can offer you a very generous

67. five, three percent discount.

68. - You'll be paid in Little Cheesers pizza coupons.

69. - Oh, um okay, I'll need to check

70. the expiration dates first you know, I've been hurt before.

71. So, you're concerned about your legacy,

72. that's completely normal.

73. We all hope to create something that will outlive us.

74. Think of it as an immortality project.

75. - Immortality, huh?

76. That's it, I'll create a mummy,

77. just need to find some enchanted sand.

78. - Okay, Blark, these immortality projects

79. are all around us, whether it's something

80. as revolutionary as Edison's light bulb,

81. or as simple as this chair I'm sitting on.

82. - That's just a pile of unsold copies

83. of your self help book.

84. - Right, which is technically an immortality project.

85. Blark, my advice to you is to find

86. one thing you're passionate about and use it

87. to change the world forever.

88. - Forever?

89. - Mhmm yeah, now about those Little Cheesers coupons.

90. Would any of them happen to include,

91. oh I don't know, free wacky bread?

92. - Hey loin fruit, your old man did

93. something you can be proud of.

94. - You've finally turned yourself in for

95. setting fire to that carpet store?

96. - Never, I've invented something that will

97. etch my name into history.

98. Behold, the Drazoreidel.

99. Warning, keep away from hands, feet and face.

100. - Dad, you took two things that worked

101. perfectly fine on their own, and forced them together

102. until they didn't work at all,

103. just like you do with us!

104. - Hey, you're right, I'm just a big dumb nobody.

105. Whoa!

106. Who desperately needs a tetanus shot.

107. I could be remembered as the worlds biggest failure

108. but I'd probably fail at that too!

109. - [TV] Whoa, you're watching happy TV!

110. Up next, Everything's Great, followed by Successful Dad.

111. - Why am I watching this?

112. - Hey dad.

113. - Grumble.

114. - So, I turned in that project

115. and it actually came out really well.

116. - Oh, I'm sure your hermit crab is gonna be stoked.

117. - Actually, I didn't write about my hermit crab,

118. I wrote about you.

119. - Me?

120. But I haven't done anything.

121. I haven't even gotten that tetanus shot yet.

122. Which might become an issue.

123. - Here.

124. - This is the most touching thing I've ever read.

125. I will cherish this C minus always.

126. - I've been thinking about your whole immortality thing,

127. and the way I see it anything I do,

128. is an accomplishment for both of us.

129. So yeah, stop being so weird and sad.

130. - My god!

131. You're right!

132. My immortality project is you!

133. - Okay no no no, don't take this too-

134. - Haha, think of this report as a binding contract.

135. Blark and son, together in perpetuity.

136. - Oh balls.

137. - I'm gonna be all up in your business, forever.

138. Haha, I gotta get this baby notarized, hahaha!

139. - Should have just written about the crab.

140. - Sweet.