Blark and Son 1x15

Directed by

Justin Roiland as Junior (voice) • Jim Rash as Stacey (voice)

Blark finds Stacey in a vulnerable place after he drops off Junior for a sleepover.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - No, Dad, you can't.

2. That kid is a weirdo.

3. - Hey, Blark, thanks again for doing this.

4. Oh, I was, I was in the middle of a family game night

5. with the boy when boom!

6. I got the call.

7. (sighs) Tony Gobbins is in town

8. and I can finally get that pool quote

9. for my book, really, yeah, really gonna pick things up.

10. Yeah, with this celebrity guru's endorsement,

11. it's gonna, it's gonna be good.

12. - OK, you go get that pool quote, buddy.

13. - (sighs) Thanks a ton, Blark, you know I really

14. - Oh, not now, Dad.

15. - Hey, son? - Shut up!

16. - I love you son!

17. - Soapy, soapy, scrub, scrub, dishy, dish, dish.

18. By god it's a trespasser.

19. Neighborhood integrity has been compromised.

20. Looks like this king's gotta go save another man's castle.

21. - Game over.

22. - God damn you, Cyborgstein.

23. (crashing) - Now boys,

24. the last thing I'd want to do is make you panic

25. or feel unsafe, that being said,

26. I have a feeling we're all gonna die tonight.

27. Someone's broken into Stacey Manor.

28. - Broken?

29. - Yeah, it might just be a simple burglar

30. or it could be some kind of escaped asylum clown.

31. (maniacal laughter) - Clown?

32. - Oh yeah, (sighs)

33. happens all the time.

34. He may have already killed Stacey

35. and now he's hunting for you,

36. so he can put an end to the Stacey bloodline.

37. - Cool, Dad.

38. - While I'm gone, it's panic room rules for you two.

39. So no matter how much I beg and plead and scream,

40. even if they're torturing me

41. while they defile Stacey's corpse in front of you,

42. do not open that door.

43. - (exasperated sigh) Dad, why are you wearing the raincoat?

44. - Because the forecast is in boys,

45. and there's a hundred percent chance of murder tonight.

46. - Dude, don't listen to my dad.

47. He's always saying crazy stuff.

48. Wanna try my game?

49. I've been stuck on this one part forever.

50. - Nothing broken, could be magic.

51. It's a good thing I have my guest key.

52. - Who's there?

53. - Eeny, meeny, miny, punch in the face!

54. Come on you Stacey-defiling clown,

55. you're either leaving here in a tiny clown ambulance

56. or a tiny clown hearse.

57. - Blark, it's me.

58. (light switch flicks) - My god,

59. that Stacey mask is incredible.

60. If we survive this, I need the number

61. of your mask guy (laughs).

62. - Dammit, Blark!

63. It's really me (groans).

64. - Rest well, my beloved, may flights

65. of angels sing thee to thy slumber.

66. - You win.

67. - What?

68. I have been trying to beat this game for months.

69. How did you do that?

70. - (murmuring)

71. - Oh yeah, I forgot,

72. you don't really do the whole talking thing.

73. - (clears throat) Every end boss in this game has attacks

74. that fire in one of three rhythmic patterns.

75. If you know the sequence, you know where to jump.

76. - Holy creebles, you used a full sentence.

77. - Only with friendlies.

78. - (laughs) Wanna help me beat other games?

79. - Games?

80. - Like I keep telling you, Blark,

81. I needed a pen so Tony could write everything down,

82. and no, nobody had one.

83. - Stacey, I think you're wearing glasses.

84. Is everything all right?

85. - (bleep) no, Blark!

86. Everything is not all right (groans in frustration).

87. I just can't.

88. You know I graduated summa cum laude

89. from literally the most prestigious university

90. on the planet? (liquid splashes)

91. Want to know what my friends are doing

92. with their lives?

93. Oh, they're winning Nobel prizes,

94. they're conducting research that will allow human beings

95. to terraform Mars.

96. Meanwhile, I wrote a book on how to get rich

97. that bankrupted me.

98. - Wow.

99. The glasses are actually starting to grow on me.

100. - It's my ego, man.

101. I saw my friends succeed and decided

102. to shut down my practice, go all in

103. on a pop psychology finance book.

104. Then they had kids so (laughs) of course,

105. Stacey had to get one too.

106. So I adopted Junior 'cause, you know,

107. gotta keep up with the Joneses.

108. - Whoa, Stace, calm down, buddy.

109. Listen, I think there's been a happy accident here.

110. You look great in these glasses.

111. - Do you hear how sick that sounds?

112. Oh, here's the twist, I actually love him.

113. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me

114. but he is so much work.

115. And he's weird, he's so (bleep) weird.

116. I mean how do you even prepare for that?

117. You can't, you can't.

118. Because parenting's impossible, life's impossible.

119. (exasperated sigh) I don't know how you do it, Blark.

120. - Space Cowboy is so hard.

121. I have been playing for years,

122. but every time I die the galaxy changes

123. and I lose all my in-game progress.

124. If things change, how can I plan to win?

125. I can't figure it

126. - Out, you know?

127. How do you keep going when you just want

128. to hit the reset button?

129. And how am I supposed

130. to connect with someone I'm so different from?

131. - You know, Stace, when a bear mauls you,

132. it'll keep slashing at your guts until you relax.

133. You just have to go with it.

134. - Go with it?

135. - Yep, the game is embedded with randomized algorithms,

136. generated unpredictable enemies, bosses and maps.

137. Winning is impossible.

138. - Well if I can't get the cosmic royal, what's the point?

139. - The point is to paddle out and ride the waves you catch

140. and to not get too bent out of shape when you wipe out.

141. I don't know, I mean, really, you just gotta

142. - (in unison) Have fun.

143. - (in unison) Wow.

144. - Oh, do you want to play the new Street Brawlers game?

145. The main chick is super hot.

146. - Super hot?

147. (door opens) - Did you guys hear

148. about the super storm?

149. (laughs) Because Mr. Hurricane Dad is here

150. and he's a Category Fun.

151. - Oh, all right Hurricane Dad,

152. let's bring it down to a tropical storm, OK?

153. - Hurricane Dad (grunts).

154. Is Hurricane Dad defiled? - What?

155. - OK, let's get this love train moving.

156. Hey, Stace?

157. - Yeah, Blark?

158. - Well I hate to be that guy,

159. but I've never been in a physical altercation

160. where I didn't punch the other guy

161. in the face at least three times,

162. and I really don't wanna spoil my record.

163. - (laughs) Very funny.

164. - Jenga. - You win.

165. (biting noise) - Sweet.