Blark and Son 1x13

Directed by

Donald Faison as Fletch (voice) • Deborah Baker Jr. as Regina (voice) • Jim Rash as Stacey (voice)

When the internet goes out, Son comes to learn an important lesson about the adults in his life.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Son.

2. - Not now dad.

3. - Hey son.

4. - Shut up.

5. - I love you son.

6. - Son my mana's low, I've got to go back to base.

7. - Regina, keep soaking up the damage my ultimate

8. is almost ready.

9. - Son, what's up, you're not moving.

10. - I don't know, I don't, (gasps) I'm lagging.

11. - Just destroy the last inhibitor,

12. you're so close, do it for me.

13. - No, no, no, no, no,

14. no.

15. Dad, the internet went out, and I need you to fix it now.

16. - Mmm?

17. - Whoa.

18. Why are you wearing a burlap sack that says,

19. I murder babies on it?

20. - (sighs) Son throughout my life

21. I've overcome many challenges,

22. - Oh, here he goes.

23. - One time I saved an Indian village

24. from a category five mudslide using nothing

25. but a paper mache shovel.

26. - Hundred percent false.

27. - I also beat a Russian KGB agent at chess

28. while sitting on a block of ice containing

29. a heat triggered bomb.

30. - Can someone checkmate my life?

31. - I even jumped over Jimmy, Timmy and Rod

32. at a full sprint in my backyard when I was 11.

33. But, my most elusive foe

34. is the never ending molasses waterfall that is

35. laundry.

36. It's killing me.

37. - And how does this tie in with the burlap sack?

38. - This t-shirt is the only reason I've ever finished

39. a single load of laundry in my life.

40. It's the most physically

41. and socially uncomfortable thing I own.

42. I literally can't go anywhere with it on.

43. Thus, forcing me to dedicate the entire day

44. to washing my five month build up of dirty clothes.

45. It's a necessary evil.

46. - Okay, you're obviously going through a little something,

47. something today, but I am in the middle

48. of a very important game with Regina

49. which is even more important in the game of my life,

50. so if you could spare me five minutes of your time

51. to help me fix the internet, I will leave you alone

52. to do whatever this is.

53. - You think I could just buy,

54. - Excuse me.

55. - New clothes.

56. I could just buy new clothes.

57. - You effing kidding me.

58. - Somebody lift me from this hell.

59. - Gentlemen's wear pack light, can I help you?

60. - Oh, hey yes, this is Fletcher Murphy

61. and I'm the owner of the Gentlemen's wear

62. pack light suitcase, I've been on hold.

63. - Hold please, - no!

64. No I can't wait another, don't you do it,

65. don't you god damn it.

66. - You, secondary grown up authority,

67. help me get the internet back on.

68. - I'm in the middle of the fight of my life

69. for the flight of my life.

70. - No,

71. I'm not gonna get dragged into another boring adult story

72. about bull (beeps), I just need your help

73. for like five minutes.

74. I don't need to know what you're fighting for,

75. - What am I fighting for?

76. Freedom, liberty, and the pursuit of a serious

77. two whisper glide genteleman's pack light replacement wheel.

78. I got a five o'clock flight, this back up dad's

79. going to Hawaii baby.

80. - What?

81. - I am so glad you came in here Son,

82. I have to get this off my chest.

83. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

84. - So, I'm in the middle of packing for my annual trip

85. to Hawaii, mind you every time I go on vacation

86. I run a routine performance check on my suitcase,

87. and during that check I didn't hear

88. the whisper friendly purr of the gentlemen wheel

89. pack light generally provides.

90. - You know I heard Hawaii is so much better

91. if you provide internet for a certain boy.

92. - See what I had heard was the cacophonous noise

93. of the clickety-clackety wheel that needed to be replaced.

94. So, I called up the gentleman's wheel pack light

95. customer service and ordered myself a brand new,

96. series two whisper glide wheel,

97. only problem, they had the audacity to send me

98. a series one, all terrain wheel, mother (beeps).

99. - Oh please God, make this boring old man stop talking.

100. - Now, in an unpaved setting this wheel is

101. a mighty fine bonafide choice,

102. but on the smooth floors of the airports

103. I usually frequent, the treads of this all terrain wheel,

104. makes a, you guessed it, a clickety-clackety noise.

105. - I'm in a dream right?

106. This is obviously a bad dream.

107. - I'm a gentlemen Son, you know that,

108. I hold myself to a strict standard

109. and the last person I want to be,

110. is a clickety-clackety traveler that strolls through

111. a clickety-clackety terminal

112. with a clickety-clackety suitcase

113. that drives everyone clickey-clackety crazy.

114. - Hello can I help you?

115. - Yes, I'm still here, I need a series two,

116. - It's like, has the world tilted off it's axis?

117. Adults are supposed to help kids, I can't believe

118. I let my dad put the router on the roof,

119. 'cause he thought it would get a better signal.

120. This is obscene, ridiculous, an outrage,

121. an obscenely, ridiculous outrage.

122. - Yeah, it's also a total bummer.

123. Zeke keeps calling me wanting to join our team.

124. - Oh, why don't you answer, he is your boyfriend.

125. - I mean you're just a much better Toplinger than him.

126. Have you asked everyone you can to help you?

127. What about your neighbor?

128. - Hot snizzle-gee that's it.

129. I'll ask Stacy.

130. Thanks for helping me, sorry for waking you up,

131. didn't think you'd be asleep at three PM.

132. - It's two PM somewhere.

133. - Are you like okay?

134. - The simple answer is no.

135. The more complicated answer is

136. eventually, I'm stuck in a loop of my own meta-cognition.

137. Do you know what that is?

138. - I'm 12.

139. - Meta-cognition is being aware of being aware.

140. Adult humans are the only living beings

141. cognizant of their emotions, I am sad and I am aware

142. that I am sad, which in turn makes me even more sad.

143. It's a yeah, it's a never ending infinity pool of despair.

144. - Yeah, pools, cool, gonna be a killer summer, Wi-Fi.

145. - (sighs) what I need to do it break the cycle

146. and let go and, (laughs)

147. but I've never been very good at that.

148. - Well I bet you're great at ladders, come on now,

149. up you go.

150. - If I made load eight fit,

151. load eleven should fit just fine.

152. - A gentleman's dream.

153. - Oh, there she is.

154. No!

155. - Clickety-clack, clickety-clackety.

156. - Break the cycle and let go Stacy, let go

157. let go.

158. - No!

159. - No!

160. - No!

161. - Adults are supposed to help kids.

162. - A never ending Infinity pool of despair.

163. - It's killing me.

164. - Fixed it.

165. Internet's back up.

166. - Oh thank the Wi-fi lords.

167. I would have climbed up there myself

168. but my back's been acting up you know, ah.

169. Wasn't scared or anything.

170. - Totally, no problem, Son.

171. - Man, what happened today,

172. it's like all the adults quit life.

173. - They didn't quit, parents are people too you know.

174. They do grown up stuff that makes them weird

175. and sad and overwhelmed sometimes.

176. My mom does it all the time.

177. Sometimes she's rad and sometimes

178. she sleep through my birthday.

179. Oh.

180. - Hey Stacy?

181. - Yes Son?

182. - Are you gonna get up?

183. - No.

184. - How bout you guys?

185. - I feel safe here.

186. - Clickety-clackety, clickety-clackety, clickety-clackety.

187. Clickety-clackety, clickety-clackety.

188. - Sweet.