1. - Son.
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2. - Not now dad.
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3. - Hey son.
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4. - Shut up.
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5. - I love you son.
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6. - Son my mana's low,
I've got to go back to base.
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7. - Regina, keep soaking
up the damage my ultimate
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8. is almost ready.
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9. - Son, what's
up, you're not moving.
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10. - I don't know, I don't,
I'm lagging.
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11. - Just destroy
the last inhibitor,
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12. you're so close, do it for me.
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13. - No, no, no, no, no,
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14. no.
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15. Dad, the internet went out,
and I need you to fix it now.
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16. - Mmm?
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17. - Whoa.
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18. Why are you wearing a
burlap sack that says,
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19. I murder babies on it?
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20. - Son throughout my life
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21. I've overcome many challenges,
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22. - Oh, here he goes.
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23. - One time I saved
an Indian village
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24. from a category five
mudslide using nothing
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25. but a paper mache shovel.
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26. - Hundred percent false.
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27. - I also beat a Russian
KGB agent at chess
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28. while sitting on a
block of ice containing
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29. a heat triggered bomb.
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30. - Can someone checkmate my life?
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31. - I even jumped over
Jimmy, Timmy and Rod
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32. at a full sprint in my
backyard when I was 11.
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33. But, my most elusive foe
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34. is the never ending
molasses waterfall that is
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35. laundry.
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36. It's killing me.
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37. - And how does this tie
in with the burlap sack?
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38. - This t-shirt is the only
reason I've ever finished
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39. a single load of
laundry in my life.
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40. It's the most physically
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41. and socially
uncomfortable thing I own.
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42. I literally can't go
anywhere with it on.
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43. Thus, forcing me to
dedicate the entire day
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44. to washing my five month
build up of dirty clothes.
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45. It's a necessary evil.
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46. - Okay, you're obviously going
through a little something,
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47. something today, but
I am in the middle
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48. of a very important
game with Regina
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49. which is even more important
in the game of my life,
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50. so if you could spare me
five minutes of your time
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51. to help me fix the internet,
I will leave you alone
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52. to do whatever this is.
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53. - You think I could just buy,
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54. - Excuse me.
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55. - New clothes.
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56. I could just buy new clothes.
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57. - You effing kidding me.
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58. - Somebody lift
me from this hell.
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59. - Gentlemen's wear
pack light, can I help you?
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60. - Oh, hey yes, this
is Fletcher Murphy
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61. and I'm the owner of
the Gentlemen's wear
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62. pack light suitcase,
I've been on hold.
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63. - Hold please,
- no!
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64. No I can't wait another,
don't you do it,
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65. don't you god damn it.
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66. - You, secondary
grown up authority,
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67. help me get the
internet back on.
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68. - I'm in the middle of
the fight of my life
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69. for the flight of my life.
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70. - No,
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71. I'm not gonna get dragged into
another boring adult story
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72. about bull,
I just need your help
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73. for like five minutes.
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74. I don't need to know
what you're fighting for,
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75. - What am I fighting for?
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76. Freedom, liberty, and
the pursuit of a serious
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77. two whisper glide genteleman's
pack light replacement wheel.
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78. I got a five o'clock
flight, this back up dad's
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79. going to Hawaii baby.
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80. - What?
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81. - I am so glad you
came in here Son,
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82. I have to get this off my chest.
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83. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
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84. - So, I'm in the middle of
packing for my annual trip
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85. to Hawaii, mind you every
time I go on vacation
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86. I run a routine performance
check on my suitcase,
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87. and during that
check I didn't hear
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88. the whisper friendly purr
of the gentlemen wheel
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89. pack light generally provides.
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90. - You know I heard
Hawaii is so much better
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91. if you provide internet
for a certain boy.
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92. - See what I had heard
was the cacophonous noise
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93. of the clickety-clackety wheel
that needed to be replaced.
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94. So, I called up the
gentleman's wheel pack light
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95. customer service and
ordered myself a brand new,
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96. series two whisper glide wheel,
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97. only problem, they had
the audacity to send me
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98. a series one, all terrain
wheel, mother.
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99. - Oh please God, make this
boring old man stop talking.
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100. - Now, in an unpaved
setting this wheel is
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101. a mighty fine bonafide choice,
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102. but on the smooth
floors of the airports
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103. I usually frequent, the treads
of this all terrain wheel,
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104. makes a, you guessed it,
a clickety-clackety noise.
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105. - I'm in a dream right?
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106. This is obviously a bad dream.
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107. - I'm a gentlemen
Son, you know that,
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108. I hold myself to
a strict standard
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109. and the last person
I want to be,
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110. is a clickety-clackety
traveler that strolls through
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111. a clickety-clackety terminal
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112. with a clickety-clackety
suitcase
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113. that drives everyone
clickey-clackety crazy.
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114. - Hello can I help you?
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115. - Yes, I'm still here,
I need a series two,
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116. - It's like, has the world
tilted off it's axis?
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117. Adults are supposed to
help kids, I can't believe
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118. I let my dad put the
router on the roof,
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119. 'cause he thought it
would get a better signal.
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120. This is obscene,
ridiculous, an outrage,
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121. an obscenely,
ridiculous outrage.
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122. - Yeah, it's also
a total bummer.
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123. Zeke keeps calling me
wanting to join our team.
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124. - Oh, why don't you answer,
he is your boyfriend.
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125. - I mean you're just a much
better Toplinger than him.
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126. Have you asked everyone
you can to help you?
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127. What about your neighbor?
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128. - Hot snizzle-gee that's it.
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129. I'll ask Stacy.
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130. Thanks for helping me,
sorry for waking you up,
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131. didn't think you'd be
asleep at three PM.
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132. - It's two PM somewhere.
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133. - Are you like okay?
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134. - The simple answer is no.
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135. The more complicated answer is
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136. eventually, I'm stuck in a
loop of my own meta-cognition.
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137. Do you know what that is?
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138. - I'm 12.
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139. - Meta-cognition is being
aware of being aware.
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140. Adult humans are the
only living beings
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141. cognizant of their emotions,
I am sad and I am aware
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142. that I am sad, which in
turn makes me even more sad.
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143. It's a yeah, it's a never
ending infinity pool of despair.
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144. - Yeah, pools, cool, gonna
be a killer summer, Wi-Fi.
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145. - what I need
to do it break the cycle
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146. and let go and,
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147. but I've never been
very good at that.
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148. - Well I bet you're great
at ladders, come on now,
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149. up you go.
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150. - If I made load eight fit,
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151. load eleven should
fit just fine.
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152. - A gentleman's dream.
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153. - Oh, there she is.
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154. No!
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155. - Clickety-clack,
clickety-clackety.
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156. - Break the cycle
and let go Stacy, let go
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157. let go.
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158. - No!
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159. - No!
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160. - No!
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161. - Adults are
supposed to help kids.
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162. - A never ending
Infinity pool of despair.
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163. - It's killing me.
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164. - Fixed it.
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165. Internet's back up.
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166. - Oh thank the Wi-fi lords.
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167. I would have climbed
up there myself
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168. but my back's been
acting up you know, ah.
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169. Wasn't scared or anything.
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170. - Totally, no problem, Son.
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171. - Man, what happened today,
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172. it's like all the
adults quit life.
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173. - They didn't quit, parents
are people too you know.
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174. They do grown up stuff
that makes them weird
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175. and sad and
overwhelmed sometimes.
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176. My mom does it all the time.
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177. Sometimes she's
rad and sometimes
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178. she sleep through my birthday.
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179. Oh.
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180. - Hey Stacy?
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181. - Yes Son?
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182. - Are you gonna get up?
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183. - No.
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184. - How bout you guys?
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185. - I feel safe here.
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186. - Clickety-clackety,
clickety-clackety,
clickety-clackety.
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187. Clickety-clackety,
clickety-clackety.
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188. - Sweet.
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