1. I spy with my little eyeCopy !req
2. something beginning with..."M".Copy !req
3. Mmm...Copy !req
4. Mmm...Copy !req
5. Mmmm... Mmm...Copy !req
6. Mmmm...Copy !req
7. Mmm...Copy !req
8. - Mmmuh...
- Mmmuuu...Copy !req
9. - Ya, ya!
- Mmuu... Mmuu...Copy !req
10. Mug!!!Copy !req
11. Oh, I say, well done, Sir. Your turn.Copy !req
12. I spy with my bored little eye
something beginning with "T".Copy !req
13. - Breakfast!
- What?Copy !req
14. My breakfast always begins with tea,
then I have a little sausage,Copy !req
15. then a egg with some little soldiers.Copy !req
16. Baldrick, when I said it begins with "T",Copy !req
17. I was talking about a letter.Copy !req
18. Nah, it never begins with a letter.Copy !req
19. The postman don't come 'til 10:30.Copy !req
20. I can't go on with this.Copy !req
21. - George, take over.
- All right, Sir.Copy !req
22. Um... I spy with my little eyeCopy !req
23. something beginning with "R".Copy !req
24. Army!Copy !req
25. For God's sake, Baldrick!Copy !req
26. "Army" starts with an "A".Copy !req
27. He's looking for something
that starts with an "R".Copy !req
28. Rrrrrrrr!Copy !req
29. Motorbike!Copy !req
30. What?Copy !req
31. A motorbike starts
with a "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrm"!Copy !req
32. All right, right, right, right.Copy !req
33. My turn again.Copy !req
34. What begins with "come here"Copy !req
35. and ends with "ow"?Copy !req
36. I don't know.Copy !req
37. Come here.Copy !req
38. Ow!Copy !req
39. Well done.Copy !req
40. No, I don't think you've quite gotCopy !req
41. the hang of this game,
to be honest, Sir.Copy !req
42. I tell you what,
let's try another one.Copy !req
43. Um... I hear with my little ear,Copy !req
44. um, something beginning with "B".Copy !req
45. What?Copy !req
46. Bomb.Copy !req
47. I can't hear a bomb.Copy !req
48. Listen very carefully.Copy !req
49. Ah, yes.Copy !req
50. Finished.Copy !req
51. Come on, then.Copy !req
52. All right, and then you can
tell me what you think,Copy !req
53. but be honest now.Copy !req
54. - I will!
- All right, then.Copy !req
55. Dear uncle H., how are you?Copy !req
56. Yeah, it's good, isn't it?Copy !req
57. It's beastly rotten luck
being laid up here,Copy !req
58. but everyone's very nice,Copy !req
59. and at least now I can
write to you every day.Copy !req
60. Oh, then I put in
a silly bit about, um...Copy !req
61. What? What?Copy !req
62. No, it's, um...Copy !req
63. Oh, come on, you can tell me.Copy !req
64. And the nurse is an absolute peach.Copy !req
65. Anyway,
After the explosion,Copy !req
66. Captain Blackadder was marvellous.Copy !req
67. He joked and joked.Copy !req
68. 'You lucky, lucky, lucky bastard!'Copy !req
69. he cried, then he lay on his back,Copy !req
70. stuck his foot over
the top of the trenchCopy !req
71. and shouted, 'Over here, Fritz!
What about me?'Copy !req
72. Well, Captain Blackie does indeedCopy !req
73. sound a most witty
and courageous chap.Copy !req
74. Yes, and he's very amusing
and brave, as well,Copy !req
75. not to mention being as clever
as a chap with three heads!Copy !req
76. Thanks ever so much.Copy !req
77. You really are terribly kind,Copy !req
78. as well as being dash pretty, to boot.Copy !req
79. A fluffy pillow and a big cheery smileCopy !req
80. is the least my lovely boysies deserve.Copy !req
81. Now, you take a little trip to dozeyland.Copy !req
82. You've got visitors comingCopy !req
83. and we don't want to be
all tired and cross, do we?Copy !req
84. Absolutely not, no.Copy !req
85. It'll be so jolly to see
Baldrick and the Cap' again.Copy !req
86. They'll have been worried
sick about me, you know.Copy !req
87. All right, where is
the malingering git?Copy !req
88. Hello, Cap! Pip pip, Balders!Copy !req
89. Here I lie.Copy !req
90. Nice to see the lieutenant
looking so well, Sir.Copy !req
91. Of course he's looking well.
There's nothing wrong with him.Copy !req
92. Pff!Copy !req
93. Didn't I tell you the Captain
was a super cove!Copy !req
94. You did!Copy !req
95. Well, Captain,
you are indeed fortunateCopy !req
96. to have a loyal friend
like darling Georgie.Copy !req
97. Mm, I think you might be underCopy !req
98. a slight misapprehension here, Nurse.Copy !req
99. I lost closer friends than "darling Georgie"Copy !req
100. the last time I was deloused.Copy !req
101. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got better things to doCopy !req
102. than exchange pleasantries
with a wet blanket.Copy !req
103. Would you get out?Copy !req
104. We've got some important
military business.Copy !req
105. Well, 10 minutes only, then.Copy !req
106. Right, porkface, where's the grub?Copy !req
107. Pardon?Copy !req
108. Come on, the moment that
collection of inbred mutantsCopy !req
109. you call your relatives
heard you were sick,Copy !req
110. they'll have sent you a hamper
the size of Westminster Abbey.Copy !req
111. My family is not inbred!Copy !req
112. Come on, somewhere outside
Saffron-WaldonCopy !req
113. there's an uncle who's
seven feet tall with no chinCopy !req
114. and an Adam's apple
that makes him lookCopy !req
115. as though he's constantly
trying to swallow a ballcock.Copy !req
116. I have not got any uncles like that!Copy !req
117. Anyway, he lives in Walton-on-the-Naze.Copy !req
118. Well, exactly. Now, where's the tuck?Copy !req
119. Well, there were one or two things, yes.Copy !req
120. There was, uh, a potted turkey,Copy !req
121. a cow in jelly, three tinned sheep,Copy !req
122. and, uh, 1,200 chocolates.Copy !req
123. - But, in my weakened state...
- Yes?Copy !req
124. - L, uh, I ate them.
- What?!Copy !req
125. Well, Nurse Mary nibbled a trotter or two,Copy !req
126. but oh, Cap, she's such wonderful girl.Copy !req
127. She helps me with all my letters.Copy !req
128. She can do all the German spelling,Copy !req
129. and she's terribly good at punctuation.Copy !req
130. I don't care if she can singCopy !req
131. I May Be A Tiny Chimney Sweep
But I've Got An Enormous Brush.Copy !req
132. Come on, Baldrick.Copy !req
133. The only thing we're going to getCopy !req
134. for free around here is dysentery.Copy !req
135. But, Sir, I haven't givenCopy !req
136. Lieutenant George my bunch of flowers yet.Copy !req
137. All right, hurry up, hurry up.Copy !req
138. Here you are, Sir,
I got you these.Copy !req
139. Unfortunately, they've had
their heads shot off.Copy !req
140. Where others choose
to say it with flowers,Copy !req
141. Baldrick says it with stalks.Copy !req
142. Well, Captain, I'm afraid
you'll have to leave us now.Copy !req
143. Oh, really?Copy !req
144. Yes, you must report
to General Melchett immediately.Copy !req
145. Oh, great.Copy !req
146. Yet another tempting opportunityCopy !req
147. for suicide beckons.Copy !req
148. Gosh, I wish I could come
with you, you know, Sir.Copy !req
149. Oh, no. You must take care,
my brave hero.Copy !req
150. Brave hero, Nurse?Copy !req
151. I was more woundedCopy !req
152. the last time I clipped my toenails.Copy !req
153. Take no notice of him.Copy !req
154. Yes, pay no attentionCopy !req
155. to the nasty man.Copy !req
156. Look, if I can't give my brave boysCopy !req
157. a kind word and a big smile,Copy !req
158. what can I give them?Copy !req
159. Well, one or two ideas
do suggest themselves...Copy !req
160. but you'd probably think
they were unhygienic.Copy !req
161. Come on, Baldrick.Copy !req
162. Hello, what's your name?Copy !req
163. My name is Mr. Smith.Copy !req
164. I'm sorry that you've
been landed oppositeCopy !req
165. such a total git, Smith.Copy !req
166. It's bad enough to be woundedCopy !req
167. without having to share
a ward with Banana-Brain.Copy !req
168. Danke schön, danke schönCopy !req
169. "Ich bin ganz" comfortable, old fruit.Copy !req
170. Yes.Copy !req
171. Enter.Copy !req
172. Hello?Copy !req
173. Hello?Copy !req
174. Ahhh!Copy !req
175. Right, spread 'em!Copy !req
176. Right, he's clean, Sir.Copy !req
177. Baahh!Copy !req
178. Can anyone tell me what's going on?Copy !req
179. Security, Blackadder.Copy !req
180. Security?Copy !req
181. "Security" isn't a dirty word, Blackadder.Copy !req
182. "Crevice" is a dirty word,
but "security" isn't.Copy !req
183. So, in the name of security, Sir,Copy !req
184. everyone who enters
the room has to haveCopy !req
185. his bottom fondled by
this drooling pervert.Copy !req
186. Only doing my job, Blackadder.Copy !req
187. Oh, well, how lucky you are, then,Copy !req
188. that your job is also your hobby.Copy !req
189. Now there's another dirty word ..."job".Copy !req
190. Sir, is there something the matter?Copy !req
191. You're damn right there
is something the matter...Copy !req
192. something sinister
and something grotesque.Copy !req
193. And what's worse is thatCopy !req
194. it's going on right here
under my very nose.Copy !req
195. Sir, your moustache is lovely.Copy !req
196. What the general means,
Blackadder, is...Copy !req
197. there's a leak.Copy !req
198. Now "leak" is a positively
disgusting word.Copy !req
199. The Germans seem to be able
to anticipate our every move.Copy !req
200. We send up an aeroplane,Copy !req
201. there's a Jerry squadron parked
behind the nearest cloud.Copy !req
202. We move troops to Boulogne,Copy !req
203. the Germans have boughtCopy !req
204. the entire town's supply
of lavatory paper.Copy !req
205. In short, a German spy
is giving awayCopy !req
206. every one of our battle plans.Copy !req
207. You look surprised, Blackadder.Copy !req
208. I certainly am, Sir.Copy !req
209. I didn't realize we "had" any battle plans.Copy !req
210. Well, of course we have!Copy !req
211. How else do you think
the battles are directed?Copy !req
212. Our battles are directed, Sir?Copy !req
213. Well, of course they are, Blackadder,Copy !req
214. directed according to the grand plan.Copy !req
215. Would that be the planCopy !req
216. to continue with total slaughterCopy !req
217. until everyone's deadCopy !req
218. except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig,Copy !req
219. and their tortoise, Alan?Copy !req
220. Great Scott!Copy !req
221. Even "you" know it!Copy !req
222. Guard! Guard! Bolt all the doors!Copy !req
223. Hammer large pieces of crooked wood
against all the the windows!Copy !req
224. This security leak is far worse
than we'd imagined!Copy !req
225. So you see, Blackadder,Copy !req
226. Field Marshal Haig is most anxiousCopy !req
227. to eliminate all these German spies.Copy !req
228. Filthy Hun weasels fighting
their dirty underhand war!Copy !req
229. And, fortunately, one of our spies...Copy !req
230. Splendid fellows, brave heroes,
risking life and limb for Blighty...Copy !req
231. ...has discovered that the leak
Is coming from the field hospital.Copy !req
232. You think there's a German spy
in the field hospital?Copy !req
233. I think you might be right, there.Copy !req
234. Your job, Blackadder,
is to root this spy out.Copy !req
235. How long do you think you'll need?Copy !req
236. Uh...Copy !req
237. You'll have to be away from
the trenches for some time.Copy !req
238. Six months?Copy !req
239. Too bad, Blackadder.
You've got three weeks.Copy !req
240. Yes, three weeks
to smoke the bugger out!Copy !req
241. Use any method you see fit.Copy !req
242. Personally, I'd recommend youCopy !req
243. get hold of a cocker spaniel,Copy !req
244. tie your suspect down on a chairCopy !req
245. with a potty on his head,Copy !req
246. then pop his todger between
two flowery bapsCopy !req
247. and shout, "Dinner time, Fido"!Copy !req
248. However, if you are successful,Copy !req
249. I shall need you back here permanentlyCopy !req
250. to head up my new security network,Copy !req
251. Operation Winkle.Copy !req
252. - Winkle?
- Yes, to winkle out the spies.Copy !req
253. You never mentioned this to me, Sir!Copy !req
254. Well, we have to have some
secrets, don't we, Darling?Copy !req
255. Right, well, I'll be back in three weeks.Copy !req
256. Excellent.Copy !req
257. And if you come back
with the information,Copy !req
258. Captain Darling will
pump you thoroughlyCopy !req
259. in the debriefing room.Copy !req
260. Not while I have my strength, he won't.Copy !req
261. Damnation, Sir!Copy !req
262. His insolence makes my blood boil!Copy !req
263. What's more, I don't trust him, Sir.Copy !req
264. I think it would be bestCopy !req
265. if I went to the hospital myselfCopy !req
266. to keep an eye on him.Copy !req
267. What, spy on our own spy
as he searches for their spy?Copy !req
268. Yes, why not?Copy !req
269. Sounds rather fun.Copy !req
270. You'll have to go undercover.Copy !req
271. Oh, definitely, Sir.Copy !req
272. You'll need some kind of wound,Copy !req
273. a convincing wound.Copy !req
274. - Naturally, Sir.
- Yes.Copy !req
275. Aah!!Copy !req
276. Yes...Copy !req
277. that looks quite convincing.Copy !req
278. Right, pack me a toothbrush, Baldrick,Copy !req
279. we're going on holiday.Copy !req
280. Hurray! Where to?Copy !req
281. Hospital.Copy !req
282. Oh, no, I hate "hostipals."Copy !req
283. My grandfather went into one,Copy !req
284. and when he come out, he was dead.Copy !req
285. He was also dead when
he went in, Baldrick.Copy !req
286. He'd been run over
by a traction engine.Copy !req
287. I don't like them doctors.Copy !req
288. If they start poking around inside me...Copy !req
289. Baldrick, why would anyone wishCopy !req
290. to poke around inside you?Copy !req
291. They might find me interesting.Copy !req
292. I find the Great Northern and
Metropolitan sewage system interesting,Copy !req
293. but that doesn't mean that
I want to put on some rubber glovesCopy !req
294. and pull things out of it
with a pair of tweezers.Copy !req
295. Still, I tell you what, Sir,Copy !req
296. you might have a chance to get to knowCopy !req
297. that pretty nurse.Copy !req
298. No, thank you, Baldrick.Copy !req
299. She's as wet as a fish's wet bits.Copy !req
300. I'd rather get to know you.Copy !req
301. I'm not available, Sir.Copy !req
302. I'm waiting for Miss Right to come alongCopy !req
303. and gather me up in her arms.Copy !req
304. Yes, I wouldn't be too hopeful.Copy !req
305. We'd have to get her arms out
of a straitjacket first.Copy !req
306. Now get packing!Copy !req
307. So very interesting!Copy !req
308. Please do continue, old bean.Copy !req
309. Right, then I go on to say,Copy !req
310. The orders came through
for us to advanceCopy !req
311. at 0800 hours
in a pincer movement.Copy !req
312. Gosh, how exciting!Copy !req
313. Yes, well, hmm...Copy !req
314. Afternoon, George.Copy !req
315. Ah, hello, Cap!Copy !req
316. Ah, Captain.Copy !req
317. I hope you're going to conduct yourself
with a little more decorum this time.Copy !req
318. No, I am going to conduct myself
with "no" decorum.Copy !req
319. Shove off!Copy !req
320. Oh!Copy !req
321. Ah, "jawohl, Herr Kapitän"Copy !req
322. So, Cap, what's going on?Copy !req
323. Well, there's a German spy
in the hospital,Copy !req
324. and it's my job to find him.Copy !req
325. A Ger... ?Copy !req
326. Well, snakes alive!Copy !req
327. Exciting stuff, eh?Copy !req
328. Wait a minute!Copy !req
329. I think I might have a plan already.Copy !req
330. What is it?Copy !req
331. Have a look through the list of patientsCopy !req
332. and see if there's anyone hereCopy !req
333. whose name begins with "Von."Copy !req
334. Well, it's almost bound to be your bloke!Copy !req
335. I think we may find that
he's using a false name.Copy !req
336. Oh, crikey.Copy !req
337. Well, that's hardly fair, now, is it?Copy !req
338. I, too, have a cunning plan
to catch the spy, Sir.Copy !req
339. Do you, Baldrick, do you?Copy !req
340. You go round the hostipal
and ask everyone,Copy !req
341. Are you a German spy?Copy !req
342. Yes, I must say, Baldrick,Copy !req
343. I appreciate your involvement
on the creative side.Copy !req
344. If it was me, I'd own up.Copy !req
345. Of course you would.Copy !req
346. But, sadly, the enemy have not addedCopy !req
347. to the German Army entrance form
the requirement,Copy !req
348. Must have intellectual capacity
of a boiled potato.Copy !req
349. - Now, Baldrick, see that man over there?
- Yeah.Copy !req
350. I want you to stick to him like a limpet.Copy !req
351. Make sure he doesn't leave the hospital.Copy !req
352. Yes, Sir.Copy !req
353. Hello, Darling.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
354. Bullet in the foot.Copy !req
355. Well, I can understand
people at the frontCopy !req
356. trying to shoot themselves in the foot,Copy !req
357. but when you're 35 miles
behind the line...Copy !req
358. I did not shoot myself.Copy !req
359. The General did it.Copy !req
360. Finally got fed up with you, did he?Copy !req
361. No, it was a mistake.Copy !req
362. Oh, he was aiming for your head.Copy !req
363. He wasn't aiming for anything.Copy !req
364. Oh, so he was going
for between your legs, then.Copy !req
365. Very funny, Blackadder.Copy !req
366. You'll be laughing
on the other side of your faceCopy !req
367. if you don't find this spy.Copy !req
368. Don't you worry, Darling.Copy !req
369. I intend to start interviewing
suspects immediately.Copy !req
370. This is completely ridiculous,
Blackadder!Copy !req
371. You can't suspect me.
I've only just arrived.Copy !req
372. The first rule
of counterespionage, Darling,Copy !req
373. is to suspect everyone.Copy !req
374. Believe me, I shall be asking myselfCopy !req
375. some pretty searching questions later.Copy !req
376. Now, tell me, what is the colorCopy !req
377. of the Queen of England's favorite hat?Copy !req
378. How the hell should I know?Copy !req
379. I see.Copy !req
380. Well, let me ask you another question.Copy !req
381. What is the name
of the German head of state?Copy !req
382. Well, Kaiser Wilhelm, obviously.Copy !req
383. So, you're on first name terms
with the Kaiser, are you?Copy !req
384. Well, what did you expect me to say?Copy !req
385. Darling, Darling, shhh...Copy !req
386. Cigarette?Copy !req
387. Thank you.Copy !req
388. All right you, stinking piece of crap!Copy !req
389. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
390. Shut your cakehole!Copy !req
391. Tell me, von Darling,Copy !req
392. what finally won you over, eh?Copy !req
393. Was it the pumpernickel,Copy !req
394. or was it the thought of hanging aroundCopy !req
395. with big men in leather shorts?Copy !req
396. I'll have you court-martialed
for this, Blackadder!Copy !req
397. What, for obeying the general's orders?Copy !req
398. That may be what you do in Munich,Copy !req
399. or should I say Munchen?Copy !req
400. But not here, Werner!Copy !req
401. You're a filthy Hun spy, aren't you?Copy !req
402. Baldrick, the cocker spaniel, please!Copy !req
403. No! No! No!Copy !req
404. Wait! No, look, I'm English!Copy !req
405. I was born in Croydon!Copy !req
406. I was educated at
lpplethorpe Primary School!Copy !req
407. I've got a girlfriend called Doris!Copy !req
408. I know the words to all three verses
of "God Save the King"!Copy !req
409. - Four verses.
- Four verses!Copy !req
410. I meant four verses!Copy !req
411. Look, I'm as British as Queen Victoria!Copy !req
412. So your father's German,
you're half-German,Copy !req
413. and you married a German?Copy !req
414. No! No!Copy !req
415. Look, for God's sake,
I'm not a German spy!Copy !req
416. Good. Thanks very much.Copy !req
417. Send in the next man, would you?Copy !req
418. What is all this noise about?Copy !req
419. Don't you realize this is a hospital?Copy !req
420. You'll regret this, Blackadder.Copy !req
421. You'd better find the real spyCopy !req
422. or I'll make it very hard for you.Copy !req
423. Please, Darling, there are ladies present.Copy !req
424. Well, well, Captain Blackadder,Copy !req
425. this is an unexpected pleasure.Copy !req
426. What?Copy !req
427. Nice to have you back with us.Copy !req
428. A spy-catcher, eh? Huh!Copy !req
429. That silly kid George was right.Copy !req
430. You are a bally hero.Copy !req
431. Wait a minute.Copy !req
432. I thought you liked George.Copy !req
433. That's just my bedside manner.Copy !req
434. What I call my "fluffy bunny act."Copy !req
435. So you're not a drip after all.Copy !req
436. Oh, no.Copy !req
437. So, Mr. Spy-Catcher, how's it going?Copy !req
438. Well, not much luck so far.Copy !req
439. I think he might be as difficult to findCopy !req
440. as a piece of hay in
a massive stack full of needles.Copy !req
441. So you're going to be around
for quite a while, then.Copy !req
442. Looks like it.Copy !req
443. Good, because, uh...Copy !req
444. it can get pretty lonely
'round here, you know.Copy !req
445. God, it's nice to have
someone healthy to talk to!Copy !req
446. - Cigarette?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
447. I only smoke cigarettes
after making love.Copy !req
448. So, back in England,
I'm a 20-a-day man.Copy !req
449. A man should smoke.Copy !req
450. It acts as an expectorantCopy !req
451. and gives his voice a deep,
gravely, masculine tone.Copy !req
452. God, I love nurses.Copy !req
453. They're so disgustingly clinical!Copy !req
454. Tell me, Captain Blackadder...Copy !req
455. Edmund.Copy !req
456. Edmund,Copy !req
457. when this war is over, do you thinkCopy !req
458. we might get to know
each other a little better?Copy !req
459. Yes, why not?Copy !req
460. When this madness is finished,Copy !req
461. perhaps we could go cycling together,Copy !req
462. take a trip down to
the Old Swan at HenleyCopy !req
463. and go for a walk in the woods.Copy !req
464. Yes, or we could just do it
right now on the desk.Copy !req
465. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
466. Ah, Baldrick.Copy !req
467. Have you seen Nurse Mary?
I need someone to post this letter.Copy !req
468. She's in her office with the Captain, Sir.Copy !req
469. Ah, poor girl,Copy !req
470. tied to her desk, day and night.Copy !req
471. Ah, Cap!Copy !req
472. I hear you've been seeing
a lot of Nurse Mary.Copy !req
473. Yes, almost all of her, in fact.Copy !req
474. How is she, Sir?Copy !req
475. Unbelievable!Copy !req
476. What I really want to know is,Copy !req
477. are you any closer to finding the spy?Copy !req
478. Yes, I think I'm getting there, George.Copy !req
479. Everything all right, Smith?Copy !req
480. Oh, "ja", excellent, excellent.Copy !req
481. Jolly good.Copy !req
482. Smithy, you haven't seenCopy !req
483. any suspicious characters
hanging around, have you,Copy !req
484. who might be German spies?Copy !req
485. NeinCopy !req
486. Nine?!Copy !req
487. Well, the Cap's got
his work cut out, then.Copy !req
488. Tell me, Edmund,Copy !req
489. do you have someone special in your life?Copy !req
490. Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do.Copy !req
491. - Who?
- Me.Copy !req
492. No, I mean someone
you love and cherishCopy !req
493. and want to keep safeCopy !req
494. from all the horror and the hurt.Copy !req
495. Um... still me, really.Copy !req
496. No, but back home, in England,Copy !req
497. there must be someone waiting,Copy !req
498. some sweetheart.Copy !req
499. Oh, a girl. Nah.Copy !req
500. I've always been a soldier,
married to the Army.Copy !req
501. The Book of King's Regulations
is my mistress,Copy !req
502. possibly with a Harrod's
lingerie catalogueCopy !req
503. discreetly tucked between the pages.Copy !req
504. And no casual girlfriends?Copy !req
505. Skirt? Hah!Copy !req
506. If only...Copy !req
507. When I joined up,Copy !req
508. we were still fighting colonial wars.Copy !req
509. If you saw someone in a skirt,Copy !req
510. you shot him and nicked his country.Copy !req
511. What about you?
Have you got a man?Copy !req
512. Some fine fellow in
an English country village?Copy !req
513. A vicar, maybe?Copy !req
514. Quiet, gentle, hung like a baboon.Copy !req
515. There was a man I cared for a little.Copy !req
516. Wonderful chap...Copy !req
517. strong, athletic...Copy !req
518. What happened to him?Copy !req
519. He bought it.Copy !req
520. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
521. I didn't realize that
that was the arrangement.Copy !req
522. Um, so what's it been?Copy !req
523. Uh, 1 2 nights and, let's say,
9 afternoons.Copy !req
524. How much is...Copy !req
525. I mean he died.Copy !req
526. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
527. He was test-driving one
of those new tank contraptions,Copy !req
528. and the bloody thing blew up.Copy !req
529. What a waste.Copy !req
530. God, I hope they've scrapped the lot.Copy !req
531. Ha! Fat chance.Copy !req
532. They're going to use
40 of them next week at, oh...Copy !req
533. Sorry, I mustn't talk about that.Copy !req
534. You never know
who might be listening.Copy !req
535. No, of course.Copy !req
536. Oh, God, I miss him so much.Copy !req
537. He was such a wonderful chap.Copy !req
538. Clever too, I expect.Copy !req
539. Brilliant.Copy !req
540. Went to one of the great
universities, I suppose...Copy !req
541. Oxford... Cambridge...Copy !req
542. Hull...Copy !req
543. Mmm.Copy !req
544. But why are we making small talkCopy !req
545. when we could be making big love?Copy !req
546. Good point.Copy !req
547. This could be our last chance.Copy !req
548. My three weeks are up.Copy !req
549. I'm going back to staff HQ tomorrow.Copy !req
550. Look, why don't you come with me?Copy !req
551. It could be fun.Copy !req
552. We could have supper or something.Copy !req
553. How about something first,
then supper?Copy !req
554. Good idea!Copy !req
555. Ah, hello, Blackadder.Copy !req
556. Good morning, Sir.Copy !req
557. Uh, may I introduce
Nurse Fletcher-Brown.Copy !req
558. She's been very supportive
during my work at the hospital.Copy !req
559. How do you do, young lady?Copy !req
560. Do sit down.Copy !req
561. So, any news
of the spy, Blackadder?Copy !req
562. - Yes, Sir.
- Excellent.Copy !req
563. The Germans seem
to know every move we make!Copy !req
564. I had a letter from Jerry yesterday.Copy !req
565. It said, "Isn't it about timeCopy !req
566. "you changed your shirts, Walrus-Face"?Copy !req
567. So, do you have any ideas
who it might be, young lady?Copy !req
568. Well, Sir, I'm only a humble nurse,Copy !req
569. but I did at one point think it might be...Copy !req
570. Captain Darling.Copy !req
571. Well, bugger me with a fish fork!Copy !req
572. Old Darling, a Jerry Morse-tapper?Copy !req
573. What on earth made you suspect him?Copy !req
574. Well, he poo-pooed the Captain hereCopy !req
575. and said that he'd never find the spy.Copy !req
576. Is this true, Blackadder?Copy !req
577. Did captain Darling poo-poo you?Copy !req
578. Well, perhaps a little.Copy !req
579. Damn it all, what more evidence
do you need?Copy !req
580. The poo-pooing alone
is a court-martial offence!Copy !req
581. I can assure you, Sir,Copy !req
582. that the poo-pooing
was purely circumstantial.Copy !req
583. Well, I hope so, Blackadder.Copy !req
584. You know, if there's one thingCopy !req
585. I've learned from being in the Army,Copy !req
586. it's never ignore a poo-poo.Copy !req
587. I knew a major, got poo-pooed...Copy !req
588. made the mistake
of ignoring the poo-poo.Copy !req
589. He poo-pooed it.Copy !req
590. Fatal error, because
it turned out all alongCopy !req
591. that the soldier who pooh-pooed himCopy !req
592. had been poo-pooing
a lot of other officersCopy !req
593. who poo-pooed their poo-poos.Copy !req
594. In the end, we had
to disband the regiment,Copy !req
595. morale totally destroyed...Copy !req
596. by poo-poo!Copy !req
597. Yes, I think we may beCopy !req
598. drifting slightly from the point here, Sir,Copy !req
599. which is that, unfortunately,Copy !req
600. and to my lasting regret,Copy !req
601. Captain Darling is not the spy.Copy !req
602. Oh? And then who the hell is?Copy !req
603. Well, Sir, there is a man in the hospitalCopy !req
604. with a pronounced limpCopy !req
605. and a very strong German accent.Copy !req
606. It must be him... it's obvious.Copy !req
607. Obvious, but wrong.Copy !req
608. It's not him.Copy !req
609. And why not?Copy !req
610. Because, Sir, not even
the Germans would beCopy !req
611. stupid enough to field a spyCopy !req
612. with a strong German accent.Copy !req
613. Well then, who is it?Copy !req
614. Well, it's perfectly simple.Copy !req
615. It's you.Copy !req
616. Edmund!Copy !req
617. Baldrick!Copy !req
618. Explain yourself, Blackadder,Copy !req
619. before I have you shot
for being rude to a lady.Copy !req
620. Well, Sir, the first seeds
of suspicion were sownCopy !req
621. When Lieutenant George unwittinglyCopy !req
622. revealed that she spoke German.Copy !req
623. Do you deny,
Nurse Fletcher-Brown...Copy !req
624. or should I say
Nurse Fleischer-Baum? ...Copy !req
625. that you helped Lieutenant GeorgeCopy !req
626. with the German words in his letters?Copy !req
627. No, I did, but...Copy !req
628. my suspicions were confirmed
when she probed meCopy !req
629. expertly about tank movements.Copy !req
630. Oh, Edmund, how could you,Copy !req
631. after all we've been through?Copy !req
632. And then the final, irrefutable proof.Copy !req
633. Remember you mentioned
a clever boyfriend?Copy !req
634. Yes.Copy !req
635. I then leapt on
the opportunity to test you.Copy !req
636. I asked if he'd been to
one of the great universities...Copy !req
637. Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull.Copy !req
638. You failed to spotCopy !req
639. that only two of those
are great universities.Copy !req
640. You swine!Copy !req
641. That's right, Oxford's a complete dump!Copy !req
642. Well, quite.Copy !req
643. No true EnglishwomanCopy !req
644. could have fallen into that trap.Copy !req
645. Oh, Edmund, I thought there wasCopy !req
646. something beautiful between us.Copy !req
647. I thought you...Copy !req
648. Ioved me.Copy !req
649. Nah.Copy !req
650. Take her away, Baldrick.Copy !req
651. Raus! Raus!Copy !req
652. Well, good work, Blackadder.Copy !req
653. Now I'd better go
assemble a firing squad.Copy !req
654. Watch out, Sir!Copy !req
655. Darling, what on earth do
you think you're doing?Copy !req
656. I'll tell you exactly
what I am doing, Sir.Copy !req
657. I'm doing what BlackadderCopy !req
658. should have done
three weeks ago, Sir.Copy !req
659. This is the guilty man!Copy !req
660. Darling, you're hysterical.Copy !req
661. No, Sir!Copy !req
662. No, I'm not, Sir!
I'll ask him outright, are you a spy?Copy !req
663. Yes, I am a spy!Copy !req
664. You see, Sir?!Copy !req
665. Well, of course he's a spy, Darling...Copy !req
666. A British spy!Copy !req
667. This is Brigadier
Sir Bernard Proudfoot-Smith,Copy !req
668. the finest spy in the British Army!Copy !req
669. B-but he can't be, Sir,Copy !req
670. He... he doesn't even sound British.Copy !req
671. Unfortunately, I have been workingCopy !req
672. undercover in Germany
for so long that I haveCopy !req
673. picked up a teensy-weensy bitCopy !req
674. of an accent.Copy !req
675. This, Darling, is the man
who told us that there wasCopy !req
676. a German spy in the hospital
in the first place.Copy !req
677. Ah.Copy !req
678. Right, well,Copy !req
679. that's that, then.Copy !req
680. - Blackadder.
- Yes, Sir?Copy !req
681. You are now head of Operation Winkle.Copy !req
682. - Thank you, Sir.
- Darling.Copy !req
683. Yes, Sir?Copy !req
684. You are a complete arse.Copy !req
685. Thank you, Sir.Copy !req
686. Right, Bernard, let's go
and watch the firing squad.Copy !req
687. Jawohl, mein General!Copy !req
688. Sir, what the devil is going on?Copy !req
689. I've just seen Nurse MaryCopy !req
690. being led away to a firing squad!Copy !req
691. Nurse Mary is the spy, George.Copy !req
692. - What? Lmpossible!
- Afraid so.Copy !req
693. Well, cover me with eggs and flourCopy !req
694. and bake me for 14 minutes.Copy !req
695. Who'd have thought it, eh?Copy !req
696. Nurse Mary,
a Bosche nose-poker-inner!Copy !req
697. Oh well, lots of exciting stuff to put inCopy !req
698. my next letter to my
Uncle Herman in Munich.Copy !req
699. Sorry?Copy !req
700. Those letters I've been
writing in hospital to my German uncle.Copy !req
701. New information, Blackadder?Copy !req
702. George.Copy !req
703. Oh, yes, well, I know there's a war on,Copy !req
704. but family is familyCopy !req
705. and old Uncle Hermie does so loveCopy !req
706. to be kept abreast of what's going on.Copy !req
707. I even wrote and told him aboutCopy !req
708. old Walrus-Face Melchett
and his smelly old shirts!Copy !req
709. Would you like me to tell
this one to the General,Copy !req
710. or would you enjoy that
very special moment?Copy !req