1. Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.orgCopy !req
2. Oh God! Bills, bills, bills.Copy !req
3. One is born, one runs up bills, one dies.
What have I got to show for it? Nothing.Copy !req
4. A butler's uniform
and a slightly effeminate hairdo.Copy !req
5. Sometimes I feel like a pelican - whichever way I
turn, I've still got an enormous bill in front of me.Copy !req
6. Pass the biscuit barrel.
Let's see what's in the kitty shall we?Copy !req
7. Nine pence. Oh God, what are we going to do?Copy !req
8. Don't worry Mr B,
I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.Copy !req
9. Let us not forget, that you tried to solve
the problem of your mother's low ceilingCopy !req
10. by cutting off her head.Copy !req
11. But this is a really good one.
You become a dashing highwayman,Copy !req
12. then you can pay all your bills and, on top of that,
everyone'll want to sleep with you.Copy !req
13. Baldrick, I could become a prostitute
and pay my bills,Copy !req
14. then everyone would want to sleep with me,
but I do consider certain professions beneath me.Copy !req
15. And I fail to see why a thief should be idolised,
just because he has a horse between his legs.Copy !req
16. My favourite's the Shadow. What a man! They say
he's halfway to being the new Robin Hood.Copy !req
17. - Why only halfway?
- Well, he steals from the rich,Copy !req
18. but he hasn't got round
to giving it to the poor yet.Copy !req
19. Look, I've got a poster of him.Copy !req
20. I have no desire to get hung
for wearing a silly hat.Copy !req
21. If I want to get rich quick, all I have to do
is go upstairs and ask Prince Fathead for a rise.Copy !req
22. (BELL RINGS)Copy !req
23. The bank's open.Copy !req
24. Good morning, sir.
May I say how immensely rich you're looking?Copy !req
25. Was there anything you wanted? Anything at all?Copy !req
26. Yes, I was wondering
if you could lend me a bit of cash.Copy !req
27. But of course, sir, I... Cash?Copy !req
28. Yes, I'm rotten stinking stoning stinking broke.Copy !req
29. What about the 5,000 poundsCopy !req
30. that Parliament voted you last week
to drink yourself to death with?Copy !req
31. All gone I'm afraid. You see, I've discovered this
terrifically fun new game. It's called "cards".Copy !req
32. You sit round the table with your friends,
and you deal out five "cards" each,Copy !req
33. and then the object of the game is to
give away all your money as quickly as possible.Copy !req
34. - Do you know it?
- Vaguely, sir, yes.Copy !req
35. All the chaps say I'm terrific at it.Copy !req
36. I was very bad at it. I always seemed to end up
with more money than I started with.Copy !req
37. It's all down to practice.
I'm a natural apparently.Copy !req
38. The only drawback
is that it's pretty damned expensive.Copy !req
39. So I was wondering
if you could lend me a couple of hundred.Copy !req
40. I'm afraid that's impossible. I'm as poor as a
church mouse that's just had an enormous tax billCopy !req
41. on the very day his wife ran off
with another mouse, taking all the cheese.Copy !req
42. - What am I going to do?
- It's a difficult one.Copy !req
43. Let's see now. You can't borrow money,
you're not going to inherit any moneyCopy !req
44. and obviously you can't earn money.Copy !req
45. Sir, drastic situations call for drastic measures.
If you can't make money, you'll have to marry it.Copy !req
46. Marry? Never!Copy !req
47. I'm a gay bachelor, Blackadder.Copy !req
48. I'm a roarer, a rogerer, a gorger and a puker.Copy !req
49. I can't marry.
I'm young, I'm firm buttocked, I'm...Copy !req
50. - Broke?
- Well, yes, I suppose so.Copy !req
51. And don't forget, sir, that the modern Church
smiles on roaring and gorging within wedlock,Copy !req
52. and indeed rogering is keenly encouraged.Copy !req
53. And the puking?Copy !req
54. I believe still very much down to the
conscience of the individual churchgoer.Copy !req
55. Well, tally-ho then, Blackadder.
Yes, you fix it up.Copy !req
56. You know the kind of girls I like,
they've got to be lovers, laughers, dancers...Copy !req
57. And bonkers.Copy !req
58. That goes without saying.Copy !req
59. - Oh God!
- Something wrong, Mr B?Copy !req
60. I can't find a single person
suitable to marry the prince.Copy !req
61. Please, keep trying, I love a royal wedding.Copy !req
62. The excitement, the crowds, the souvenir mugs,Copy !req
63. the worrying about
whether the bride's lost weight.Copy !req
64. Unlikely with this lot. If the prince had stipulated
"must weigh a quarter of a ton" we'd be laughing.Copy !req
65. Of the 262 princesses in Europe,
165 are over 80, they're out,Copy !req
66. 47 are under 10, they're out,
and 39 are mad.Copy !req
67. They sound ideal.Copy !req
68. They would be if they hadn't all got married
last week in Munich to the same horse.Copy !req
69. - Which leaves us with two.
- And what about them?Copy !req
70. Well, there's Grand Duchess Sophia of Turin -
we'll never get her to marry him.Copy !req
71. - Why not?
- Because she's met him.Copy !req
72. Which leaves?Copy !req
73. - Caroline of Brunswick.
- What's wrong with her?Copy !req
74. Get more coffee! Change it! Take me roughly
from behind! No, not like that, like this!Copy !req
75. Trousers off! Tackle out! Walk the dog!
Where's my presents?!Copy !req
76. Which one do you want me to do first?Copy !req
77. No, that's what Caroline's like. She is famous
for having the worst personality in Germany.Copy !req
78. And as you can imagine,
that's up against some pretty stiff competition.Copy !req
79. - So you're stuck then.
- Yes, I'm afraid I am.Copy !req
80. Unless...
Pass me the paper, Baldrick, quick.Copy !req
81. Why has half the front page been cut out?Copy !req
82. - I don't know.
- You do know, don't you?Copy !req
83. Yes.Copy !req
84. You've been cutting out the cuttings
about the elusive ShadowCopy !req
85. to put in your
highwayman's scrapbook, haven't you?Copy !req
86. I can't help it, Mr B. His life is so dark and
shadowy and full of fear and trepidation.Copy !req
87. So is going to the toilet in the middle of the
night, but you don't keep a scrapbook on it.Copy !req
88. I do.Copy !req
89. Now, let's see, society pages.
You see, it needn't necessarily be a princess.Copy !req
90. All the Prince wants
is someone pretty and rich.Copy !req
91. Oh dear, that rules me out then.Copy !req
92. Now, let me see.
"Beau Brummel in purple pants probe."Copy !req
93. "King talks to tree. Phew! What a loony."Copy !req
94. God, the Times has really gone downhill recently.Copy !req
95. Aha! Listen to this:Copy !req
96. "Mysterious northern beauty, Miss Amy Hardwood,Copy !req
97. comes to London
and spends flipping great wodges of cash!"Copy !req
98. That's our baby!Copy !req
99. I don't know why I'm bothering to get dressed.
As soon as I get to the Naughty Hellfire ClubCopy !req
100. I'll be de-bagged
and radished for non-payment of debts.Copy !req
101. - Radished, sir?
- They pull your britches down.Copy !req
102. - And push a large radish right up your...
- Yes, all right, sir!Copy !req
103. There's no need to hammer it home.Copy !req
104. - As a matter of fact they do often have to...
- No! No!Copy !req
105. - Your money worries are over, sir.
- Well, hurrah for that.Copy !req
106. I have found you a bride. Her name is Amy,
daughter of the noted industrialist, Mr Hardwood.Copy !req
107. Dammit, Blackadder,
you know I loathe industrialists.Copy !req
108. Sad, balding, little proles
in their damn-your-eyes waistcoats.Copy !req
109. All puffed up because they know where
to put the legs on a pair of trousers.Copy !req
110. Believe me, sir, these people are the future.
This man probably owns half of Lancashire.Copy !req
111. His family's got more mills
than you've got brain cells.Copy !req
112. - How many mills?
- Seven, sir.Copy !req
113. Quite a lot of mills then.Copy !req
114. He has patented a machine called
"The Ravelling Nancy".Copy !req
115. - What does it do?
- It ravels cotton, sir.Copy !req
116. - What for?
- That I cannot say, sir.Copy !req
117. I am one of these people who are quite happy
to wear cotton, but have no idea how it works.Copy !req
118. She is also a beauty, sir.Copy !req
119. Well, if she's gonna be my bird, she'd better be.
Right, so what's the plan?Copy !req
120. I thought I could take her a short note
expressing your honourable intentions.Copy !req
121. Yes, yes, I think so too.
All right then, take this down.Copy !req
122. "From His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales
to Miss Amy Hardwood.Copy !req
123. Tally-ho, my fine saucy young trollop.
Your luck's in.Copy !req
124. Trip along here with all your cash,
and some naughty night attire,Copy !req
125. and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling
from now till Christmas, you lucky tart.Copy !req
126. Yours with the deepest respect etc, signed George.
P.S. Woof! Woof!"Copy !req
127. - Well, what do you think?
- It's very moving, sir.Copy !req
128. Would you mind if I changed
just one tiny aspect of it?Copy !req
129. - Which one?
- The words.Copy !req
130. I'll leave the details to you, Blackadder.Copy !req
131. Just make sure she knows I'm all man,
with a bit of animal thrown in.Copy !req
132. Certainly, sir.Copy !req
133. From his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales
to Miss Amy Hardwood:Copy !req
134. "The upturned tilt of your tiny wee nosy,
smells as sweet as a great big posy."Copy !req
135. - Fanciful stuff, madam, but from the heart.
- He says my nosy is tiny?Copy !req
136. And wee, madam.Copy !req
137. Well, he must be an awful clever clogs,
because you see, my nosy is tiny,Copy !req
138. and so wee, that I sometimes think
the pixies gave it to me.Copy !req
139. He continues:
"Oh, Lady Amy, Queen of all your sex."Copy !req
140. I apologise for the word, madam,
but Prince George is a man of passion.Copy !req
141. Don't worry,
I can get pretty cross myself sometimes.Copy !req
142. I've heard a teensy rumour that the Prince
has the manners of a boy-cow's dingle dangle.Copy !req
143. - What do you have to say to that?
- That is a lie, madam.Copy !req
144. Prince George is shy and just pretends to be
bluff and crass and unbelievably thick and gittish,Copy !req
145. whilst deep down he is a soft little marshmallowy,
pigletty type of creature.Copy !req
146. Oh, I'm so glad.
You see, I'm a delicate tiny thing myself,Copy !req
147. weak and silly and like a little fluffy rabbit.Copy !req
148. So I could never marry a horrible heffalump,
or I might get squished.Copy !req
149. Tell me,
when can I meet the lovely Prince?Copy !req
150. You want to meet him?Copy !req
151. If we're going to get married
I think I probably ought to.Copy !req
152. I know! Tell him to come and serenade me
tonight. I'll be on my balcony in my jim-jams.Copy !req
153. Certainly, madam.Copy !req
154. Eh up! Who's this big girl's blouse, then?Copy !req
155. Father, this is Mr Blackadder, he's come
a-wooing from the Prince.Copy !req
156. - You have a beautiful and charming daughter.
- Indeed I do.Copy !req
157. I love her more than any pig,
and that's saying summat!Copy !req
158. It certainly is.Copy !req
159. And let me tell you, I'd no more place her
in the hands of an unworthy manCopy !req
160. than I'd place my John Thomas
in the hands of a lunatic with a pair of scissors.Copy !req
161. An attitude that does you credit, sir.Copy !req
162. I'd rather paint my bottom blue
than give her to a man who didn't love her.Copy !req
163. What self-respecting father could do more?Copy !req
164. On the other hand, if he's a prince,
he can have her for ten bob and a pickled egg.Copy !req
165. - I can see where your daughter gets her wit, sir.
- I thank you.Copy !req
166. Although where she gets her good looks
and charm is perhaps more of a mystery.Copy !req
167. - No one ever made money out of good looks.
- You obviously haven't met Lady Hamilton, sir.Copy !req
168. I tell you, Baldrick,
I'm not looking forward to this evening.Copy !req
169. Trying to serenade a light fluffy bunny of a girlCopy !req
170. in the company of an arrogant half German yob
with a mad dad.Copy !req
171. - He is the Prince of Wales.
- Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?Copy !req
172. - No, but I've often thought I'd like to.
- Well don't, it's a ghastly place.Copy !req
173. Huge gangs of tough sinewy men roam the valleys
terrifying people with their close harmony singing.Copy !req
174. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat
just to pronounce the place-names.Copy !req
175. Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick, you'll
be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.Copy !req
176. - So being Prince of it isn't considered a plus?
- I fear not, no.Copy !req
177. But the crucial thing is that they must never
be left alone together before the marriage.Copy !req
178. - Isn't that a bit unfair on her?
- It's not exactly fair on him either.Copy !req
179. The girl is wetter
than a haddock's bathing costume.Copy !req
180. But you know, Baldrick, the world isn't fair.Copy !req
181. If it was,
things like this wouldn't happen, would they?Copy !req
182. What's the plan?Copy !req
183. Shin up the drain and ask her if she'll take
delivery of a consignment of German sausage?Copy !req
184. No, sir.
As we rehearsed: poetry first, sausage later.Copy !req
185. Right. So, what do you think?
"Harold the Horny Hunter" should do the trick.Copy !req
186. Remind me of it, sir.Copy !req
187. "Harold the Horny hunter,
had an enormous horn."Copy !req
188. It is absolutely excellent, sir.
However, might I suggest an alternative?Copy !req
189. "Lovely little dumpling, how in love I am.Copy !req
190. Let me be your shepherdkins,
you can be my lamb."Copy !req
191. I think we'll be very lucky if she doesn't just
come out onto the balcony and vomit over us.Copy !req
192. Let's give it a whirl.Copy !req
193. Just stand right here, sir.
Call for her romantically.Copy !req
194. (GEORGE SHOUTS): Oy! Come on out here,
you rollicking trolloping sauce bottle!Copy !req
195. - (AMY): George?
- (GEORGE): Woof! Woof!Copy !req
196. Is that you?Copy !req
197. Yes, 'tis I, your gorgeous little love bundle.Copy !req
198. Oh, George, I think you must be the snuggly
wuggliest lambkin in the whole of toy-land.Copy !req
199. Yucch!Copy !req
200. What was that?Copy !req
201. Nothing, there was just
a little fly in my throaty. Yucch, yucch...Copy !req
202. Do you want a hanky wanky
to gob the phlegmy wemmy woo into?Copy !req
203. Phwoah! Crikey!Copy !req
204. What was that?
Is there someone down there with you?Copy !req
205. No, it was just the wind
whistling through the treesCopy !req
206. and making a noise that sounded like
"phwoaaaah crikeeeeeey".Copy !req
207. Oh, joy!
Then come, Prince Cuddly Kitten, climb up my ivy.Copy !req
208. Sausage time!Copy !req
209. - There is someone down there with you!
- Oh my God, so there is.Copy !req
210. - A filthy intruder spying on our love.
- Hit him, George, hit him!Copy !req
211. Very well.
Would you mind screaming, Your Highness.Copy !req
212. Take that! And that!Copy !req
213. And that!Copy !req
214. Oh, you're so brave!Copy !req
215. And I'm so worn out with all the excitement
that I'd better go sleepy bobos,Copy !req
216. otherwise I'll be all cross in the morning.Copy !req
217. - Nighty-night, Georgy Porgy!
- Nighty-wighty, Amy Wamy.Copy !req
218. I think it worked, sir.Copy !req
219. In the morning I shall go in and ask her father,
you go out and start spending his money.Copy !req
220. I can't stand meanness
when it comes to wedding presents.Copy !req
221. - And well done, sir, you were brilliant.
- Was I?Copy !req
222. - But I'm in agony!
- Well, that's love for you.Copy !req
223. Sir, I come as emissary of the Prince of Wales
with the most splendid news.Copy !req
224. - He wants your daughter Amy for his wife.
- Well his wife can't have her!Copy !req
225. Outrageous, sir,
to come here with such a suggestion!Copy !req
226. Mind, sir, or I shall take off my belt
and by thunder me trousers will fall down!Copy !req
227. No, sir, you misunderstand.
He wants to marry your lovely daughter.Copy !req
228. Ah, ah... Can it be possibly true?Copy !req
229. Surely love has never crossed
such boundaries of class?Copy !req
230. What about you and Mum?Copy !req
231. I grant thee,
when I first met her, I was the farmer's sonCopy !req
232. and she was just the lass who ate the dung,
but that was an exception.Copy !req
233. And Aunty Dot and Uncle Ted.Copy !req
234. Yes, he was a pig poker
and she was the Duchess of Argyle, but...Copy !req
235. And Aunty Ruth was a milkmaid
and Uncle Isiah...Copy !req
236. The Pope!
Yes, yes, all right. Don't argue.Copy !req
237. Suffice to say if you marry, we need never be
poor or hungry again. Sir, we accept.Copy !req
238. So obviously you'll be wanting
an enormous ceremony... What did you say?Copy !req
239. Well, obviously, now we're marrying quality,
we'll never be poor or hungry again.Copy !req
240. - Are you poor and hungry at the moment?
- Oh yes!Copy !req
241. We've been living off lard butties
for five years now.Copy !req
242. I'm so poor
I use my underpants for drying dishes.Copy !req
243. - So you're skint?
- Aye.Copy !req
244. In that case, the wedding's off. Good day.Copy !req
245. But what about George's lovey-wovey poems
that won my hearty-wearty?Copy !req
246. All writteny-witteny by me-wee
I'm afraidy-waidy. Goodbye.Copy !req
247. Sir, you know I told you to go out and spend a lot
of money on wedding presents, well apparent...Copy !req
248. Yes?Copy !req
249. Nothing.Copy !req
250. Crisis, Baldrick, crisis!
No marriage, no money, more bills!Copy !req
251. For the first time I've decided to follow a
suggestion of yours. Saddle Prince George's horse.Copy !req
252. You're not becoming a highwayman, are you?Copy !req
253. No, I'm auditioning for the part of Arnold the Bat
in Sheridan's new comedy.Copy !req
254. Oh, that's all right then.Copy !req
255. Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?Copy !req
256. Yeah, it's like goldy and bronzy,
only it's made of iron.Copy !req
257. Never mind, never mind.
Just saddle the Prince's horse.Copy !req
258. That'll be difficult, he wrapped her
round that gas lamp in the Strand last night.Copy !req
259. Saddle my horse then.Copy !req
260. What do you think you've been eating
for the last two months?Copy !req
261. Well go out into the street and hire me a horse.Copy !req
262. Hire you a horse? For ninepence?
On Jewish New Year in the rain?Copy !req
263. A bare fortnight after the dreaded horse plague
of Old London Town?Copy !req
264. With the blacksmith's strike in its fifteenth week
and the Dorset Horse-Fetishists fair tomorrow?Copy !req
265. Right, well get this on then.
It looks as though you could do with the exercise.Copy !req
266. Honestly, Papa. Ever since mother died
you've tried to stop me growing up.Copy !req
267. I'm not a little girl, I'm a grown woman.
In fact I might as well tell you now, Papa:Copy !req
268. I'm pregnant, and I'm an opium fiend,
and I'm in love with a poet called Shelley,Copy !req
269. who's a famous whoopsy.
And mother didn't die, I killed her!Copy !req
270. Well, never mind.Copy !req
271. (GUNSHOT)
(BLACKADDER): Stand and deliver!Copy !req
272. Oh no - disaster.
It's the Shadow - we're doomed, doomed.Copy !req
273. Good evening, Duke, and the lovely
Miss Cheapside. Your cash-bags, please.Copy !req
274. You'll never get away with this!
You'll be caught and damn well hung.Copy !req
275. - I think he looks...
- Madam, please.Copy !req
276. Not the jest about me looking
pretty well hung already, we have no time.Copy !req
277. - Now, sir, turn out your pockets.
- Never, sir!Copy !req
278. A man's pockets are his own private kingdom.
I'll protect them with my life.Copy !req
279. Got something embarrassing in there, have you?
A particularly repulsive handkerchief, hm?Copy !req
280. One of those fellows who has a big blow
and then doesn't change it for a week?Copy !req
281. - Aha!
- Highwayman, I also have a jewel.Copy !req
282. I fear however, that I have placed it here,
beneath my petticoat, for protection.Copy !req
283. Well in that case I think I'll leave it.Copy !req
284. I'm not sure I fancy the idea of a jewel
that's been in someone's pants.Copy !req
285. A single kiss of those soft lips is all I require.Copy !req
286. Never, sir!Copy !req
287. A man's soft lips are his own private kingdom,
I shall defend them with my life.Copy !req
288. I'm not talking to you, grandad.Copy !req
289. Oh, I am overcome. Take me with you
to live the life of the wild rogue,Copy !req
290. cuddling under haystacks
and making love in the branches of tall trees.Copy !req
291. Sadly I must decline - I fear my horse would
collapse with you on top of him as well as me.Copy !req
292. I could try.Copy !req
293. - No, Quicksilver, you couldn't.
- That's not fair then.Copy !req
294. I had you on my back for ten miles,
and I don't even get a kiss out of it.Copy !req
295. All right, very well then...Copy !req
296. - All fair now?
- Not really, no.Copy !req
297. No pleasing some horses. Hi ho, Quicksilver!Copy !req
298. Papa, you did nothing to defend my honour.Copy !req
299. Oh, shut your face, you pregnant junkie fag-hag.Copy !req
300. Well, Baldrick, a good night's work, I think.Copy !req
301. It's time to divide the loot. I think
it's only fair that we should share it equally.Copy !req
302. Which I suppose is highwayman's talk
for you get the cash, I get the snotty hankie.Copy !req
303. No, we did this robbery together,
so you get half the cash.Copy !req
304. Thank you, Mr B.Copy !req
305. This robbery, on the other hand, I'm doing alone.
Hand it over, your money or your life.Copy !req
306. - There you see, all fair and above board.
- As long as I haven't been cheated I don't mind.Copy !req
307. Hands up! I'm the Shadow, and I never miss.Copy !req
308. Oh no.Copy !req
309. - You, the one that looks like a pig.
- He's talking to you, Baldrick.Copy !req
310. Scedaddle!Copy !req
311. So...who have we here.Copy !req
312. A well set up fellow indeed. Sir, a kiss.Copy !req
313. - Sorry, I'm not sure I heard that correctly.
- Oh dear. Maybe your ears need unblocking.Copy !req
314. Oh, a kiss! Of course. Then perhaps a light supper,
some dancing, who knows where it might lead.Copy !req
315. - Good Lord, it's you!
- Of course!Copy !req
316. - But your voice?
- Clever, isn't it?Copy !req
317. - Does your father know you're out?
- He had to go.Copy !req
318. - You mean he's dead?
- Yes. Dead as that squirrel.Copy !req
319. Which squirrel?Copy !req
320. (A SQUEAK, FOLLOWED BY A THUD)Copy !req
321. Oh, that squirrel.Copy !req
322. Of course! You killed him for ruining your chances
of marrying Prince George.Copy !req
323. I despise the Prince.
Don't you know it's you I want.Copy !req
324. I want a real man.
A man who can sew on a button.Copy !req
325. A man who knows where the towels are kept.Copy !req
326. And yes, I crave your fabulous sinewy body.Copy !req
327. Well, you're only human.Copy !req
328. Here's the plan, brown eyes,Copy !req
329. you rob the Prince of everything he's got,
right down to the clothes he's standing in.Copy !req
330. I'll get my stash and meet you here.
Then we run away to the West Indies.Copy !req
331. Well, I don't know, I'll have to think about it.Copy !req
332. I've thought about it, it's a brilliant plan.
See you here tomorrow.Copy !req
333. Right, I'm off.Copy !req
334. But what about the danger?
Look, the reward is going up day by day.Copy !req
335. I laugh in the face of danger.
I drop ice-cubes down the vest of fear.Copy !req
336. Things couldn't be better, Baldrick.
She'll get me abroad and make me rich.Copy !req
337. Then I'll probably drop her
and get two hundred concubines to share my bed.Copy !req
338. Wouldn't that be rather prickly?Copy !req
339. Concubines, Baldrick, not porcupines.Copy !req
340. I still can't believe you're leaving me behind.Copy !req
341. Don't worry - when we're established on our
plantation in Barbados, I'll send for you.Copy !req
342. No more sad little London for you, Balders.
You'll stand out in life as an individual.Copy !req
343. - Will I?
- Of course, all the other slaves will be black.Copy !req
344. Oh, Mr Blackadder, what's all this I hear
about you buying a bathing-costumeCopy !req
345. and forty gallons of coconut oil.
Are you going abroad then, sir?Copy !req
346. - Yes, I'm off.
- Oh, sir, what a tragic end to all my dreams.Copy !req
347. And I'd always hoped you would marry meCopy !req
348. and that together
we might await the slither of tiny Adders.Copy !req
349. Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth
I'd be trying to start a family with Baldrick.Copy !req
350. Here I am, all packed and ready to go.Copy !req
351. Darling, I'm so pleased to see you.
And I've got a little surprise for you.Copy !req
352. Close your eyes and open your mouth.Copy !req
353. Hand over the loot, goat brains.Copy !req
354. Ha ha ha! I always said the bedrock of a good
relationship is being able to laugh together.Copy !req
355. - Good. Well done. So, which way to Barbados?
- You're not going to Barbados.Copy !req
356. Get away from the cart, Mr Slimy,
or I'll fill you so full of leadCopy !req
357. we could sharpen your head and call you a pencil.Copy !req
358. This is turning into a really rotten evening.Copy !req
359. You'd better make the most of it - it's your last.Copy !req
360. And it's a pity, because it's usually
against my principles to shoot dumb animals.Copy !req
361. - Except squirrels?
- Yes. Bastards.Copy !req
362. I hate them with their long tails
and their stupid twitchy noses.Copy !req
363. I shall return at midnight to collect the loot -Copy !req
364. when I'll fill you so full of holes
I could market you as a new English cheese.Copy !req
365. (EVIL LAUGHTER)Copy !req
366. Oh God, what a way to die.Copy !req
367. Shot by a transvestite
on an unrealistic grassy knoll.Copy !req
368. - Morning, Mr B.
- Baldrick!Copy !req
369. Thank you for introducing me
to a genuinely new experience.Copy !req
370. - What experience is that?
- Being pleased to see you.Copy !req
371. - What are you doing here, you revolting animal?
- I've come for the Shadow's autograph.Copy !req
372. - You know, I'm a great fan of the Shadow.
- Yes. Just untie me, Baldrick.Copy !req
373. Has he gone? What a pity.
I wanted him to autograph my new poster.Copy !req
374. Look, his reward's gone up
to ten thousand pounds.Copy !req
375. Good Lord, ten thousand pounds -
that gives me an idea.Copy !req
376. Take this cart-load of loot back to the palace
and meet me back here at midnightCopy !req
377. with ten soldiers, a restless lynch-mob
and a small portable gallows.Copy !req
378. Ha ha! Brekkers!Copy !req
379. I could eat fourteen trays of it this morning
and still have room for a dolphin on toast.Copy !req
380. Any particular reason
for this gluttonous levity, sir?Copy !req
381. Well, what do you think, Blackadder?
I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love.Copy !req
382. Oh, Amy, bless all ten of your tiny pinkies.Copy !req
383. Now, let's see what's in the paper.Copy !req
384. Oh my God! She's been arrested and hanged.Copy !req
385. Really?Copy !req
386. - It turns out she was a highwayman.
- These modern girls.Copy !req
387. Apparently someone tipped off the authorities
and collected the ten thousand pounds reward.Copy !req
388. What a greasy sneak.
If only I could get my hands on him.Copy !req
389. - You can't trust anyone these days.
- It says here that she had an accomplice.Copy !req
390. But they don't know who it was.Copy !req
391. Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy, I shall never forget you.
Never ever never ever...Copy !req
392. - Right, what's for breakfast?
- Kedgeree, sir.Copy !req
393. Great. I didn't need to get married anyway.
I've got pots of money.Copy !req
394. - Really?
- The most extraordinary thing happened.Copy !req
395. I was a bit peckish during the night,
so I nipped downstairs to the biscuit barrel.Copy !req
396. And do you know what I found inside?
Ten thousand pounds I never knew I had.Copy !req
397. I've got so much money now
I don't know what to do with it.Copy !req
398. - How about a game of cards, sir?
- Excellent idea!Copy !req
399. Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV PlayerCopy !req