1. What about this plague then?Copy !req
2. Rumours from the North
say it's worse there than ever.Copy !req
3. No, no.
Now we've found out about the rats,Copy !req
4. we'll never have plague again.Copy !req
5. You know what they're saying.
A rat a day keeps the plague away.Copy !req
6. Believe me, madam.Copy !req
7. There'll be no more plague
in our lifetime.Copy !req
8. Well, I hope you're right.Copy !req
9. Ah, Edmund, I'm glad I've caught you.Copy !req
10. Doing what?Copy !req
11. I'm afraid Father's feeling
a bit under the weather.Copy !req
12. Oh, dear. Any idea what?Copy !req
13. Not sure.
I think it's probably Black Death.Copy !req
14. Nevertheless, I am sure
he'd appreciate a little visit from you.Copy !req
15. Well, I'm sure
I can pop my head around the door.Copy !req
16. Sort of now-ish.Copy !req
17. Mother, would you like to...Copy !req
18. No, dear. He won't let me near him.Copy !req
19. Oh.Copy !req
20. How is he?Copy !req
21. Well, he's up.Copy !req
22. My Lords of the council,
we face today the gravest crisisCopy !req
23. this country has known
since the Roman invasion!Copy !req
24. - Hear! Hear!
- Therefore...Copy !req
25. The King has stirred and calls for you.Copy !req
26. Ah. Very well.Copy !req
27. Gentlemen! I must leave you.Copy !req
28. Prince Edmund is in charge!Copy !req
29. Shame!Copy !req
30. Ah, yes.Copy !req
31. Uh, gentlemen, right.Copy !req
32. Well, as you know,
"Today we face the gravest crisisCopy !req
33. "this country has known
since the Roman invasion."Copy !req
34. - Rubbish!
- Nonsense!Copy !req
35. What about the Viking invasion?Copy !req
36. - And the Norman invasion?
- And the Swiss invasion?Copy !req
37. Well, the greatest crisis for some time.Copy !req
38. - And we all know why!
- Why?Copy !req
39. Because the King is possessed!Copy !req
40. - What?
- True! True!Copy !req
41. The land is full of omens
of bewitchment!Copy !req
42. Only last week in Cornwall,Copy !req
43. a man with four heads was seen
taking tea on the beach!Copy !req
44. Two women in Windsor claim to have
been raped by a fish!Copy !req
45. I, too, have heard such tales.Copy !req
46. - In Harrogate it rained phlegm.
- Ugh!Copy !req
47. And they do say that in EdinburghCopy !req
48. the graves did open
and the ghosts of our ancestorsCopy !req
49. rose up and competed in athletic sports!Copy !req
50. And a friend of mine had this awful
pimple on the inside of his nose!Copy !req
51. Percy, shut up.
For God's sake.Copy !req
52. And a farmer in Rye heard a cow
reciting Geoffrey Chaucer,Copy !req
53. and a young woman in Shropshire
saw Geoffrey Chaucer in a field,Copy !req
54. mooing and suckling a young heifer!Copy !req
55. Now, gentlemen,
surely we aren't the sort of peopleCopy !req
56. who believe in this sort of thing.Copy !req
57. I mean, next you'll be telling me thatCopy !req
58. washing your hair in bats' droppings
stops you going bald!Copy !req
59. But it's true! I couldn't find
enough bats and look what happened.Copy !req
60. I move that we do
the only thing we can doCopy !req
61. to remove this curse from the kingdom.Copy !req
62. Ah, well, that sounds like
the answer, doesn't it?Copy !req
63. Send for the witchsmeller pursuivant.Copy !req
64. Aye!Copy !req
65. Call for the Prince of Wales.
He must be informed.Copy !req
66. Now, wait! Wait! Wait! Percy!Copy !req
67. - Percy!
- What?Copy !req
68. What the devil
do you think you're doing?Copy !req
69. Look, I just can't take the pressure
of all these omens any more!Copy !req
70. - Percy...
- No, no, really. I'm serious.Copy !req
71. Only this morning in the courtyard,Copy !req
72. I saw a horse with two heads
and two bodies!Copy !req
73. Two horses standing next to each other?Copy !req
74. Yes, I suppose it could have been.Copy !req
75. I'm sick with you. I bet you're just
the sort of person who thinks thatCopy !req
76. sticking your finger up a sheep's bottom
on Good Friday makes you fertile!Copy !req
77. - Rubbish!
- Precisely!Copy !req
78. It's Easter Monday.Copy !req
79. Yes. Remind me not to shake your hand
during a religious festival, Baldrick.Copy !req
80. I don't believe it.Copy !req
81. Who is this witchsmeller
pursuivant, anyway?Copy !req
82. I don't know, My Lord.
But Mistress Scott would.Copy !req
83. Ah, yes. The old crone with the cat!Copy !req
84. Yes, the cat! Lovely!Copy !req
85. But she lives in the village!Copy !req
86. - So?
- Everyone's dying of the plague!Copy !req
87. Yes, that's what they claim,
those peasants.Copy !req
88. Any excuse to get off
a decent day's work!Copy !req
89. Well, I mean, obviously
there are some genuine cases.Copy !req
90. Good mornin', Prince Edmund.Copy !req
91. Morning, peasant.Copy !req
92. Good morning, Prince Edmund.Copy !req
93. Morning, peasant.Copy !req
94. - Morning, Prince Edmund.
- Morning, peasant.Copy !req
95. My Lord,
shouldn't you disguise yourself?Copy !req
96. Hmm?Copy !req
97. I mean, we don't want
someone with a grudgeCopy !req
98. coming up and infecting you
on purpose, do we?Copy !req
99. Ah, yes, you're right.Copy !req
100. - Morning, stranger.
- Morning, friend.Copy !req
101. - Morning, stranger.
- Morning, friends!Copy !req
102. Who is that dark stranger?Copy !req
103. Oh, that'll be Prince Edmund.Copy !req
104. This way, My Lord.Copy !req
105. Yes.Copy !req
106. Bring out your dead...Copy !req
107. You! Where's Mistress Scott?Copy !req
108. - You've just passed her.
- What?Copy !req
109. Oh, my God!Copy !req
110. And what's that?Copy !req
111. The, er, cat, My Lord.Copy !req
112. Does anyone know what happened?Copy !req
113. No! I don't!Copy !req
114. Me neither.Copy !req
115. I was right on the other side of town
when we burned her.Copy !req
116. You burned her? Why?Copy !req
117. I don't know.Copy !req
118. Well, it was because she was a witch,
wasn't it?Copy !req
119. You burned Mistress Scott
for being a witch? Why?Copy !req
120. I can't say. It's a secret.Copy !req
121. A secret?
Do you know who I am?Copy !req
122. A stranger.Copy !req
123. Oh, yes. That's right.Copy !req
124. Well, tell me anyway.Copy !req
125. No, no, we can't.
And I'll tell you why.Copy !req
126. Because If you'd been part
of a secret committeeCopy !req
127. to invite the witchsmeller
pursuivant into town,Copy !req
128. and he'd already burnt
four of your best friends,Copy !req
129. would you go telling everyone?Copy !req
130. No, I suppose I wouldn't.Copy !req
131. So... So is it the witchsmeller
pursuivant who burnt her?Copy !req
132. - He's guessed.
- He's clever.Copy !req
133. They don't call him Clever Jake
for nothing, you know.Copy !req
134. Well, they don't call me Clever Jake.Copy !req
135. Oh, I see.Copy !req
136. So what does
this witchsmeller man look like?Copy !req
137. No-one knows, My Lord.
No-one.Copy !req
138. He is a master of disguise
who mostly appears only at night.Copy !req
139. That's right. Innit?Copy !req
140. I believe so.Copy !req
141. Ah, right. So he won't be around now.Copy !req
142. Well, let me tell you something.Copy !req
143. If this so called witchsmeller
burnt Mistress Scott...Copy !req
144. - And her pussy cat.
- Be quiet, Percy!Copy !req
145. Then there's something wrong
with his nose, and I should know.Copy !req
146. They don't call me
Clever Pete for nothing.Copy !req
147. - Jake, My Lord.
- What about him?Copy !req
148. - Clever Jake.
- Where?Copy !req
149. You are Clever Jake.Copy !req
150. Oh, yes.Copy !req
151. They don't call me Clever Pete at all.Copy !req
152. They call me Clever Jake.Copy !req
153. And if I were you and I'd asked
the witchsmeller into town,Copy !req
154. I'd kick the big-nosed
bully straight out again!Copy !req
155. What do you say?Copy !req
156. I think it's worth
serious consideration.Copy !req
157. Exactly. Take Clever Tom's adviceCopy !req
158. and send him back
to the madhouse he came from.Copy !req
159. Come on, boys.
Put those down, Percy. Come on!Copy !req
160. Mistress Scott is obviously
in no state to help us today.Copy !req
161. I have two functions.
To protect the good,Copy !req
162. and to crush the evil.Copy !req
163. Watch!Copy !req
164. Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating!Copy !req
165. Erm, actually you have crushed
both eggs, you know.Copy !req
166. Some that seem good
sometimes proveth to be evil.Copy !req
167. My Lords, the Duke of Edinburgh.Copy !req
168. Ah, Edmund! Come on in, come on in.
The witchsmeller's arrived!Copy !req
169. Oh, yes? Old Bignose is back, is he?Copy !req
170. Oh. Hello.Copy !req
171. I'm delighted to meet you.Copy !req
172. I'm one of your greatest admirers.Copy !req
173. "Old Bignose is back"?Copy !req
174. Yes, old big nose is back.Copy !req
175. He's in a terrible state.
I was talking to him just now.Copy !req
176. He's a great admirer of yours as well.Copy !req
177. - Who's this?
- Old big nose.Copy !req
178. In fact, I've been hearing
about your work in Taunton.Copy !req
179. Imagine that!
Every single person in the villageCopy !req
180. having an affair with the same duck.Copy !req
181. The Duck of Taunton
was a tragic circumstance.Copy !req
182. And I hear you very kindly burnt
our Mistress Scott for us.Copy !req
183. Oh, yes. And her pussy cat.Copy !req
184. Ah, but have you found
the chief witch yet?Copy !req
185. I fear I may be very close.Copy !req
186. Oh, get the kindling ready.Copy !req
187. Make sure that stake is well done!Copy !req
188. Witchsmeller, my dear fellow,
if you do happen to come acrossCopy !req
189. someone who's a bit,
you know, witchy,Copy !req
190. how do you prove him guilty?Copy !req
191. By trial or by ordeal.Copy !req
192. Ah, ordeal by water?Copy !req
193. - No. By axe.
- Oh?Copy !req
194. The suspected witch has his head
placed upon a blockCopy !req
195. and an axe aimed at his neck.Copy !req
196. If the man is guilty,
the axe will bounce off his neck,Copy !req
197. so we burn him.Copy !req
198. If he is not guilty,
the axe will simply slice his head off!Copy !req
199. What a very fair test that is.Copy !req
200. Would you like to attempt
a less violent test yourself,Copy !req
201. Your Highness,
by way of demonstration?Copy !req
202. How much less violent?Copy !req
203. I place before the suspect
a dagger and a crucifix.Copy !req
204. Oh, how interesting!Copy !req
205. The suspect is blindfolded.Copy !req
206. If he picks up the dagger
from the table,Copy !req
207. he is Satan's bedfellow.Copy !req
208. Yes, Edmund!
I think you should do it.Copy !req
209. At least take yourself
out of the running!Copy !req
210. I haven't seen
your broomstick recently, Your Highness!Copy !req
211. - I'm not so sure about all this.
- Oh, come on!Copy !req
212. You will all notice
how it has suddenly become much darker.Copy !req
213. Choose!Copy !req
214. There we are!Copy !req
215. How the devil did that happen?Copy !req
216. My Lord, as I thought, this is
the source of evil in your kingdom.Copy !req
217. This is your witch!
Behold Lucifer's brother!Copy !req
218. Burn the witch!Copy !req
219. I'm not sure I caught
the first part of that.Copy !req
220. Try him, My Lord,
and you will know the truth.Copy !req
221. If that's what you recommend.Copy !req
222. But Henry,
you can't let him do this.Copy !req
223. He is very highly
thought of, you know.Copy !req
224. But he's a quack.Copy !req
225. What did you say?Copy !req
226. Quack, quack, quack!Copy !req
227. You see, My Lord,Copy !req
228. how the Duck of Taunton
lives within him?Copy !req
229. Yes, I'm afraid so!
Let him be tried tomorrow.Copy !req
230. But this...Copy !req
231. Lords and ladies of England.Copy !req
232. This court is summoned to adjudge
the most heinous of all crimes,Copy !req
233. that of witchcraft!Copy !req
234. All the more heinous
as the accused is a prince of the realm.Copy !req
235. Step forward, Edmund,
Duke of Edinburgh.Copy !req
236. - Look at his hair!
- His hair proves it.Copy !req
237. Who will defend the accused?Copy !req
238. And thus condemn
himself to certain burning at the stakeCopy !req
239. as a partner in Satan if
the accused is found guilty.Copy !req
240. Lord Percy will defend
his royal highness.Copy !req
241. Oh, yes. Yes, me.
Sorry. Yes. Hello!Copy !req
242. Witch! Witch! Witch!Copy !req
243. What?Copy !req
244. - Look at his hair!
- His hair proves it!Copy !req
245. My Lord, will you force us to listen
to the pleadings of a manCopy !req
246. who may be a witch himself?Copy !req
247. You're absolutely right.Copy !req
248. Yes, well, that concludes
the case for the defence.Copy !req
249. Thank you, Lord Percy.Copy !req
250. Prosecutor, begin!Copy !req
251. Prince Edmund, are you a Christian?Copy !req
252. Yes, of course I am.Copy !req
253. Can you say the Lord's Prayer?Copy !req
254. Well, yes, I can
say it backwards if you like!Copy !req
255. Confession!Copy !req
256. Edmund, I believe
you have a pussy cat.Copy !req
257. - Yes.
- Oh!Copy !req
258. Its name is Bubbles?Copy !req
259. - Right.
- Yes?Copy !req
260. Or to give it its full name,
Beelzebubbles!Copy !req
261. Do you deny that you were seen
on the feast of Saint Jacob the TurgidCopy !req
262. speaking to this little cat Bubbles?Copy !req
263. - Of course I deny it!
- Ah!Copy !req
264. But the chambermaid, Mary,
heard you saying, and I quote,Copy !req
265. "Hello, little Bubbles.
Would you like some milk?"Copy !req
266. - Well, I might have said that.
- Ah!Copy !req
267. Ah!Copy !req
268. And what did you mean by it?Copy !req
269. I meant would the cat like some milk.Copy !req
270. "Milk"? What did you
mean by "milk"?Copy !req
271. Well, I meant milk, bloody milk!Copy !req
272. Bloody milk!
A mixture of milk and blood!Copy !req
273. No, no, just milk.Copy !req
274. The blood was to come later!Copy !req
275. There wasn't any blood!Copy !req
276. So you had to make do with milk!Copy !req
277. My Lord, you have
a horse called Black Satin?Copy !req
278. - Yes.
- Do you confess thatCopy !req
279. on the 13th day of NorristideCopy !req
280. you did say to this horse,
Black Satin, and I quote,Copy !req
281. "Satin, would you
like some carrots?"Copy !req
282. I might have done.
He likes carrots.Copy !req
283. Carrots?Copy !req
284. Yes, carrots.Copy !req
285. Ladies and gentlemen, we all know thatCopy !req
286. carrots are the devil's
favourite food!Copy !req
287. No, no, we don't.
No, we don't.Copy !req
288. If the devil likes carrots, why isn't it
mentioned in the Bible then?Copy !req
289. Erm... Why doesn't it say,Copy !req
290. "And he took the Lord up to
the top of an high mountainCopy !req
291. "and offered him a carrot"?Copy !req
292. Why isn't "Thou shalt not eat carrots”
in the Ten Commandments?Copy !req
293. It is!Copy !req
294. The Ten Commandments
of Jereboth.Copy !req
295. In the appendix
to the Apocrypha.Copy !req
296. "And the Lord said
unto the children of Bednebott,Copy !req
297. "'Neither shalt thou
eat the fruit of the treeCopy !req
298. "that is known as the carrot tree.'"Copy !req
299. Carrots don't grow on trees.Copy !req
300. Oh, really? And how did you get to know
so much about carrots, eh?Copy !req
301. Witch!Copy !req
302. My Lord,
I call my first witness!Copy !req
303. Now, Satin, just relax,
you're amongst friends. Good.Copy !req
304. Now, tell me in your own words,Copy !req
305. did you, Satin,
on certain nights last Garethstide,Copy !req
306. indulge, albeit I accept in
all innocence, in frenzied,Copy !req
307. naked and obscene...Copy !req
308. satanic orgies with your master,Copy !req
309. known to you as
the Great Grumbledook?Copy !req
310. - What?
- Silence, Grumbledook!Copy !req
311. Satin, you're not replying.
He's not replying, My Lord.Copy !req
312. Are we to assume this horse
has something to hide?Copy !req
313. Either that or he can't talk.Copy !req
314. A likely story.Copy !req
315. Black Satin, known in the hierarchy
of evil as Black Satin the Loquacious!Copy !req
316. Are you or are you not
the servant of Satan?Copy !req
317. I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
Was that a "yea" or a "nay"?Copy !req
318. It was a "nay", My Lord,
but I don't believe a word of it.Copy !req
319. I call for a recess.Copy !req
320. He may think he can fool us,
but we have ways of making him talk!Copy !req
321. Well, I suppose this is what
comes of being a witch.Copy !req
322. Oh, Mother, I'm not a witch!Copy !req
323. Edmund, you always
were a bit of a fibber.Copy !req
324. Mother, I beg of you,
use whatever power you have to help me.Copy !req
325. I haven't had any power
for years, you know.Copy !req
326. No, but Father's sick!
You must do something, otherwise...Copy !req
327. Otherwise what?Copy !req
328. Well, otherwise I'll be burnt!Copy !req
329. Oh, yes.
This would be a pity.Copy !req
330. Oh, thanks!Copy !req
331. I'll see if I can
sort out something.Copy !req
332. My Lord, I had an idea
how to get out of this.Copy !req
333. Yes?Copy !req
334. Send for all the greatest lawyers
in the land and they could save you.Copy !req
335. Brilliant! Contact them at once.Copy !req
336. I've already done it, My Lord!Copy !req
337. Oh, Percy, thank you!Copy !req
338. Are those the letters?Copy !req
339. Erm, yes!Copy !req
340. Well, read them.Copy !req
341. Erm, er, very well.Copy !req
342. This is from Robert Wyatt in Somerset.Copy !req
343. "What you ask is against reason and God.Copy !req
344. "I spit on you and your masterCopy !req
345. "and look forward to passing waterCopy !req
346. "over both your graves as you lay dead."Copy !req
347. What does that one say?Copy !req
348. It's from John Watts.Copy !req
349. Stinker Watts!Copy !req
350. "Dear Percy, of course
I remember being at schoolCopy !req
351. "with Prince Edmund and yourself,
and so was very interestedCopy !req
352. - "by your letter."
- Yes?Copy !req
353. "May you both die horribly.
Yours, John Watts."Copy !req
354. Oh, no! I'm doomed!Copy !req
355. Wait a moment, My Lord!Copy !req
356. I have a cunning plan that cannot fail.Copy !req
357. - What is it?
- Well...Copy !req
358. My wife was wondering whether you'd like
to come around for dinner tonight.Copy !req
359. - No, thanks.
- Why not?Copy !req
360. Well, the food tastes like manureCopy !req
361. and frankly,
I find you both very boring.Copy !req
362. Oh, fair enough.Copy !req
363. How about next Thursday, then?Copy !req
364. Erm, yeah,
that's lovely, yeah. About half eight?Copy !req
365. Yeah. Be there.Copy !req
366. Brilliant!
Well done, Baldrick. Very cunning.Copy !req
367. You may capture the eagle,
but you cannot clip its wings.Copy !req
368. Anyway, how's that eagle of yours?Copy !req
369. Oh, fine. Mind you,
I had a bit of trouble to start with,Copy !req
370. but now I've
clipped its wings, no problem.Copy !req
371. Good.Copy !req
372. Tomorrow I shall not be so meek.Copy !req
373. My Lord, unhappily the horse,
Blessed Satin the Confessor,Copy !req
374. that was to have been
our first witness today...Copy !req
375. - Yes?
- ... cannot be with us.Copy !req
376. - Oh, dear.
- However, before he died...Copy !req
377. You bastard!Copy !req
378. he did make
this signed confession.Copy !req
379. I'll read it. "I, Black Satin,Copy !req
380. "confess that my former master,
Edmund, is the servant of Satan.”Copy !req
381. Oh!Copy !req
382. "And I spoke to him on
the matter frequently.”Copy !req
383. "Over a gallon... A gallon!Copy !req
384. "A gallon of stable boy's blood"!Copy !req
385. Dear lord, this tragic, horrid, nasty,
and most evil case draws to an end.Copy !req
386. I call my last witness!Copy !req
387. Oh, yes, and what is it?
A cow?Copy !req
388. A talkative badger?Copy !req
389. An easily bribed ant?Copy !req
390. I call Jane Firkettle!Copy !req
391. Hooray!Copy !req
392. Jane Firkettle. Can you see
that man standing over there?Copy !req
393. - Which?
- That's him.Copy !req
394. 'Course I recognise him!Copy !req
395. She's seen me on a coin.Copy !req
396. And have you or have you not
committed sins of the flesh with him?Copy !req
397. - I have.
- You must be joking!Copy !req
398. To my deepest shame.Copy !req
399. And mine! I mean, look at her.Copy !req
400. Can you describe these foul deeds?Copy !req
401. After we had just kissed once,Copy !req
402. he transformed into a wild animal.Copy !req
403. Perhaps I do remember you.Copy !req
404. Anything else?Copy !req
405. Yes, My Lord. Three months later,
I was great with child.Copy !req
406. Oh, for God's sake.Copy !req
407. You bore him a son?Copy !req
408. I did. My little Johnny.Copy !req
409. Can you see this son of Satan
anywhere in this court?Copy !req
410. Yes, that's him!Copy !req
411. I give you John Grumbledook!Copy !req
412. That gives him away!Copy !req
413. Come on. He doesn't look
the slightest bit like me!Copy !req
414. My Lord, you have
three proofs of witchcraft.Copy !req
415. A cat that drinks blood,Copy !req
416. a horse that talks,Copy !req
417. and a man who propagates poodles!Copy !req
418. These men must burn!Copy !req
419. Burn! Burn! Burn!Copy !req
420. Silence! Silence for
the Prince of Wales!Copy !req
421. The verdict of this court
is that the accusedCopy !req
422. are found guilty of witchcraft.Copy !req
423. The maximum penalty that the law allows
is that you be burned to death.Copy !req
424. However, in view
of your previous good background,Copy !req
425. I am disposed to be lenient.Copy !req
426. Therefore, I sentence you
to be burned alive!Copy !req
427. Do you have anything to say?Copy !req
428. - Well, yes, actuallyCopy !req
429. - I'd like to say something.
- Shut up!Copy !req
430. And you, Grumbledook?Copy !req
431. Yes!Copy !req
432. Now!Copy !req
433. Brilliant, Baldrick.
How you did that I'll never know!Copy !req
434. Quick! In here!Copy !req
435. You Turkish pigs!Copy !req
436. Percy.Copy !req
437. Sorry.Copy !req
438. Look, you two,
you wouldn't perhaps consider,Copy !req
439. for a pretty hefty reward,
perhaps letting us...Copy !req
440. Escape?Copy !req
441. - By dressing up as...
- Washerwomen?Copy !req
442. And carrying us out in...Copy !req
443. Three large
wicker laundry baskets.Copy !req
444. No, obviously not.Copy !req
445. Here comes the wife.Copy !req
446. Hello, Edmund.Copy !req
447. Hello, dear.Copy !req
448. You look funny!Copy !req
449. Yes, I've had all my hair cut off.Copy !req
450. Oh, yes, that's it.Copy !req
451. Look, there's no news
of a reprieve, is there?Copy !req
452. Oh, no.
Everyone's really looking forward to it.Copy !req
453. Hello, boys.Copy !req
454. Morning, Your Highness.Copy !req
455. I have to go to my room,
which isn't fair.Copy !req
456. - But in fact...
- Yes?Copy !req
457. I think I might even
get a better view from the window.Copy !req
458. Oh, great.Copy !req
459. Well, I'd better be going.Copy !req
460. Oh, yes, and your mummy
asked me to give you this.Copy !req
461. Oh, great! What is it?Copy !req
462. A knife? A file?
A small bucket of water?Copy !req
463. No, silly, it's a dolly!Copy !req
464. So it is. So it is.Copy !req
465. Great, great.
It's just what we needed.Copy !req
466. Goodbye, Edmund.Copy !req
467. Goodbye, dear.Copy !req
468. Mother?Copy !req
469. Yes? Oh, bye-bye, dear.Copy !req
470. I suppose, really, this must be one
of the most difficult parts of the job.Copy !req
471. - Yes.
- And for the witch as well, of course.Copy !req
472. Of course!Copy !req
473. My Lord, I have a cunning plan.Copy !req
474. Oh... off, Baldrick!Copy !req
475. I think I might be
able to stall him.Copy !req
476. Grumbledook, your time has come!
Do you wish to confess?Copy !req
477. - No.
- Very well.Copy !req
478. Sorry. Sorry, yes.
Yes, I do, in fact.Copy !req
479. Confession!Copy !req
480. I should like to
confess in front of GodCopy !req
481. and this rather small crowdCopy !req
482. that I have occasionally
done things wrong.Copy !req
483. Be more specific.Copy !req
484. Erm... Well...Copy !req
485. I have erred and strayed like a lost ox.Copy !req
486. - Sheep!
- Er, sheep.Copy !req
487. I have coveted my father's adultery.Copy !req
488. Get on with it!Copy !req
489. I have not...Copy !req
490. Not honoured my neighbour's ass.Copy !req
491. Oh, light the fires!Copy !req
492. - I'm a witch! I'm a witch!
- Me, too! Me, too!Copy !req
493. Burn! Burn! Burn!Copy !req
494. Oh, damn!Copy !req
495. I'm not even comfortable.Copy !req
496. How fast this heat travels!Copy !req
497. Yes, it is a touch warm, isn't it?Copy !req
498. I feel as if I am on fire!Copy !req
499. I know. I'm rather regretting
my choice of undergarments as well.Copy !req
500. I'm burning! I'm burning! I'm burning!Copy !req
501. Yes, but I bet you're jolly glad
of that cloak in the winter.Copy !req
502. Good Lord!Copy !req
503. Oh! Well done, Baldrick.Copy !req
504. Yes, that was a close shave.Copy !req
505. Thank you, Baldrick.Copy !req
506. Morning, my love!Copy !req
507. Ah, morning, dear.Copy !req
508. Morning, Princess.Copy !req
509. Good morning.Copy !req
510. What's going on out there?Copy !req
511. Well, Uncle Harry was going
to burn Edmund alive...Copy !req
512. Darling? Tch, tch, tch.Copy !req
513. Nothing, my dear.
It's all sorted out now.Copy !req
514. Oh, good, good.Copy !req
515. The sound of hoofbeats
cross the gladeCopy !req
516. Good folk lock up
your son and daughterCopy !req
517. Beware the deadly flashing bladeCopy !req
518. Unless you want to end up shorterCopy !req
519. Black Adder! Black Adder!Copy !req
520. He rides a pitch-black steedCopy !req
521. Black Adder! Black Adder!Copy !req
522. He's very bad indeedCopy !req
523. Black his gloves of finest moleCopy !req
524. Black his codpiece made of metalCopy !req
525. His horse is blacker than a holeCopy !req
526. His pot is blacker than his kettleCopy !req
527. Black Adder! Black Adder!Copy !req
528. With many a cunning planCopy !req
529. Black Adder! Black Adder!Copy !req
530. You horrid little man!Copy !req
531. I said he shouldn't
have burnt that cat.Copy !req
532. Oh!Copy !req