1. History has known
many great liars...Copy !req
2. Copernicus, Goebbels,Copy !req
3. Saint Ralph the Liar.Copy !req
4. But there have been none quite so vile
as the Tudor King, Henry VII.Copy !req
5. It was he, who rewrote historyCopy !req
6. to portray his predecessor,
Richard III,Copy !req
7. as a deformed maniac
who killed his nephews in the tower.Copy !req
8. But the real truth is that
Richard was a kind and thoughtful manCopy !req
9. who cherished his young wards.Copy !req
10. What have we here?Copy !req
11. In particular, Richard, Duke of York,Copy !req
12. who grew into a big, strong boy.Copy !req
13. Henry also claimed he won
the Battle of Bosworth Field,Copy !req
14. and killed Richard III.Copy !req
15. Again, the truth is very different.Copy !req
16. For it was Richard, Duke of York,
who became king after Bosworth FieldCopy !req
17. and reigned for 13 glorious years.Copy !req
18. As for who really killed Richard IIICopy !req
19. and how the defeated Henry Tudor
escaped with his life,Copy !req
20. all is revealed in this,Copy !req
21. the first chapter of a history
never before told,Copy !req
22. the history of The Black Adder.Copy !req
23. Silence, silence for the King!Copy !req
24. Now is the summer of our sweet content,Copy !req
25. made o'ercast winter
by these Tudor clowns.Copy !req
26. And I that am not shaped
for black-faced war...Copy !req
27. I that am rudely cast
and want true majesty...Copy !req
28. am forced to fight
to set sweet England free.Copy !req
29. I pray to heaven we fare wellCopy !req
30. and all who fight us go to hell!Copy !req
31. Hurrah!Copy !req
32. Hey, absolutely, hurray!Copy !req
33. Who is that?Copy !req
34. I know not, My Lord.
I'll ask my son.Copy !req
35. Harry, who is that?Copy !req
36. Your other son, My Lord.Copy !req
37. It is my other son, My Lord.Copy !req
38. Fights he with us on the morrow?Copy !req
39. What's his name?Copy !req
40. Edmund.Copy !req
41. Edna!Copy !req
42. Fight you with us on the morrow?Copy !req
43. Oh, goodness, no.
No, I thought I'd fight with the enemy.Copy !req
44. You're not putting him
anywhere near me, are you?Copy !req
45. Oh, no, no, he'll be somewhere
amongst the rabble.Copy !req
46. Oh, arrow fodder.Copy !req
47. - Precisely.
- Yes.Copy !req
48. What a little turd.Copy !req
49. Percy, you see how the King
picks me out for special greeting?Copy !req
50. - No, My Lord.
- I saw it, My Lord.Copy !req
51. Ah! And what is your name,
little fellow?Copy !req
52. - My name is Baldrick, My Lord.
- Oh.Copy !req
53. Then I shall call you...Copy !req
54. Baldrick.Copy !req
55. And I shall call you "My Lord",
My Lord.Copy !req
56. I like the cut of your jib,
young fellow-me-lad.Copy !req
57. How'd you like to be my squire
in the battle tomorrow?Copy !req
58. It will be a great day tomorrow
for we, nobles.Copy !req
59. Well, not if we lose, Percy.Copy !req
60. If we lose,
I'll be chopped to pieces.Copy !req
61. My arms will end up in Essex,
my torso in Norfolk,Copy !req
62. and my genitalia stuck up
a tree somewhere in Rutland.Copy !req
63. With you at the helm, My Lord,
we cannot lose.Copy !req
64. Ah.Copy !req
65. We could if we wanted to.Copy !req
66. Ah, but we won't, Percy.Copy !req
67. And I shall prove to all
that I am a man.Copy !req
68. But you are a man, My Lord.Copy !req
69. But how shall it be proved, Percy?Copy !req
70. Well, they can look up
that tree in Rutland.Copy !req
71. Will you stop, My Lord?Copy !req
72. It shall be proved by mine enemies
rushing to the water closet in terror.Copy !req
73. - Hurrah!
- Hurrah.Copy !req
74. Come, a toast!Copy !req
75. Let all those who go
to don arm our tomorrow,Copy !req
76. remember to go before
they don arm our tomorrow!Copy !req
77. Already, I can hear the sound
of battle ringing in my ears.Copy !req
78. Once more unto the breach,
dear friends, once more.Copy !req
79. Consign their parts most private
to a Rutland tree.Copy !req
80. Let "Blood, blood, blood" be your motto!Copy !req
81. Slit their gizzards!Copy !req
82. Now, I'm afraid there's going to have
to be a certain amount of...Copy !req
83. violence.Copy !req
84. But at least we know
it's all in a good cause, don't we?Copy !req
85. And gentlemen in London still a-bedCopy !req
86. shall think themselves accursed
they were not here.Copy !req
87. And hold their manhood cheap,Copy !req
88. while others speak of those
who fought with usCopy !req
89. on Ralph the Liar's Day!Copy !req
90. Edmund.Copy !req
91. Edmund.Copy !req
92. Oh, Mother, what do you want?Copy !req
93. Did you want to go
to the battle this morning?Copy !req
94. Oh, my God, it's 11:00!Copy !req
95. - My Lord?
- What is it?Copy !req
96. Where is this battle, then?Copy !req
97. Oh, somewhere
called Bosworth Field.Copy !req
98. Ah.Copy !req
99. Oh... Damn, damn!Copy !req
100. First decent battle
since I've reached puberty.Copy !req
101. Here we are, My Lord.Copy !req
102. Onward, Baldrick, to glory!Copy !req
103. Yes, erm...Copy !req
104. I'm not so sure we're needed,
you know, Baldrick.Copy !req
105. I mean, everything seems
to be going very well, doesn't it?Copy !req
106. Everyone's fighting,Copy !req
107. clearly having the time of their lives.Copy !req
108. - Why, some people over there
aren't fighting, they're...Copy !req
109. They're just lying down!Copy !req
110. They're dead, My Lord.Copy !req
111. Ah.Copy !req
112. Damn, I knew I'd forgotten something.Copy !req
113. Would you excuse me a moment, Baldrick?Copy !req
114. - Your Majesty...
- Ah.Copy !req
115. You've lost your steed.
Take mine.Copy !req
116. No, no, no. I've won the battle,
I've saved the kingdom.Copy !req
117. I think I can find myself a horse.Copy !req
118. True, My Noble Lord.
I'll see you back at the castle.Copy !req
119. So be it.Copy !req
120. A horse!Copy !req
121. A horse.Copy !req
122. My kingdom for a horse.Copy !req
123. Ah!Copy !req
124. Horsey.Copy !req
125. Who is this?Copy !req
126. Oi! That's my horse!Copy !req
127. That'll teach you!Copy !req
128. You won't be doing that again now,
will you?Copy !req
129. Oh, my God, it's Uncle Richard.Copy !req
130. What's up, My Lord?Copy !req
131. Oh, dear, Richard III.Copy !req
132. - What are you going to do?
- Well, quick!Copy !req
133. Quick.Copy !req
134. Hold it there. Hold it there.Copy !req
135. My Lord!Copy !req
136. Will you wait? Will you wait?Copy !req
137. Oh, well done.Copy !req
138. Where's the head?Copy !req
139. I thought you had it.Copy !req
140. Oh, Baldrick!
I can't be expected to carry everything!Copy !req
141. Percy, you brainless son
of a prostitute,Copy !req
142. where've you been?Copy !req
143. I've just proved that I'm a man.Copy !req
144. Look what I've found!Copy !req
145. Oh, thank God.
Quick, Percy, quick!Copy !req
146. Put it down and let's get out of here!Copy !req
147. No, no, no. I found it, it's mine.Copy !req
148. What do you mean it's "yours"?Copy !req
149. I've got to use it to prove
that I killed a nobleman.Copy !req
150. And which nobleman, pray?Copy !req
151. Er...Copy !req
152. Well, it's the King actually.Copy !req
153. Quick! Quick!Copy !req
154. Lost! All is lost!Copy !req
155. What?Copy !req
156. Flee! Flee!Copy !req
157. Oh, my God.
Quick, let's get out of here.Copy !req
158. Take me with you.Copy !req
159. Get your hands off!Copy !req
160. If you leave me alone here, I'll die.Copy !req
161. If you don't leave me alone,
I'll kill you myself.Copy !req
162. Now, leave him here. Come on, Baldrick!Copy !req
163. I'll give you money.Copy !req
164. Ten thousand sovereigns!Copy !req
165. - Mother!
- Edmund, dear.Copy !req
166. How did it go?Copy !req
167. Within seconds Henry Tudor
will be here at our gates!Copy !req
168. Oh, but Edmund, I'm not ready.Copy !req
169. I haven't had a bath or anything.Copy !req
170. Mother, Henry is our enemy.Copy !req
171. When his men get here,Copy !req
172. they'll brutally ravish you
and every woman in the castle.Copy !req
173. Oh, well, I shan't bother
to change then.Copy !req
174. My Lord!Copy !req
175. - What do you want?
- Listen!Copy !req
176. Oh, my God.
They're here already.Copy !req
177. Run for your lives!Copy !req
178. Run for the hills!Copy !req
179. No, My Lord, they're...
They're coming from the hills.Copy !req
180. Sorry, run away from the hills!
Run away from the hills!Copy !req
181. If you see the hills, run the other way!Copy !req
182. No, My Lord, it's all right.Copy !req
183. They're flying the banners
of King Richard.Copy !req
184. That's impossible.
He's dead, isn't he?Copy !req
185. King Richard... Dead?Copy !req
186. Yes. Er...Copy !req
187. God knows how.Copy !req
188. Oh, dear.Copy !req
189. That's really upset the tulip cart.Copy !req
190. Those flags, Percy,
are obviously just a cunning trickCopy !req
191. to deceive us into staying.Copy !req
192. No, My Lord, I don't think
it is a cunning trick.Copy !req
193. Well, no, it's not
a particularly cunning trick,Copy !req
194. because we've seen through it.Copy !req
195. But they obviously thought
it was cunning when they thought it up.Copy !req
196. What I mean, My Lord,
is I don't think they did think it up.Copy !req
197. What, you think someone else
thought it upCopy !req
198. and they borrowed it for the occasion?Copy !req
199. No, My Lord, I don't think
it's a trick at all.Copy !req
200. You don't think riding up to a castle
under someone else's banner is a trick?Copy !req
201. Well, no, I suppose it isn't...Copy !req
202. Ahhh!Copy !req
203. It's only your father.Copy !req
204. Who locked that bloody door?Copy !req
205. Richard, it's you!Copy !req
206. Well, who'd you expect it to be, woman?Copy !req
207. I thought it would be Henry Tulip.Copy !req
208. Henry Tulip?Copy !req
209. Have you lost your conkers?Copy !req
210. So you won?Copy !req
211. Yes, of course. We won.Copy !req
212. We won!Copy !req
213. Victory!Copy !req
214. So I suppose now you want to ravish me.Copy !req
215. Yes, yes, in a moment.Copy !req
216. The woman's insatiable.Copy !req
217. Three cheers for good King Richard.Copy !req
218. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
219. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
220. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
221. Huzzah!Copy !req
222. All we need now is King Richard
to be here,Copy !req
223. and the day shall be complete!Copy !req
224. Yes. What a pity he's dead.Copy !req
225. What? Well, who told you that?Copy !req
226. Well, Edmund.Copy !req
227. Is this true?Copy !req
228. Er... Well...Copy !req
229. I wouldn't know really.
I was nowhere near him at the time.Copy !req
230. I just heard from someone that he, er...Copy !req
231. Er... I mean, I don't even
know where he was killed.Copy !req
232. I was completely on the opposite side
of the field,Copy !req
233. I was nowhere near the cottage.Copy !req
234. Not that it was the cottage.Copy !req
235. It was the river.
But then, I wouldn't know, of course...Copy !req
236. Because I wasn't there.Copy !req
237. But apparently some fool
cut his head off...Copy !req
238. Or at least killed him in some way.Copy !req
239. Perhaps took an ear off, or something.Copy !req
240. Yes. Yes, in fact,
I think he was only wounded.Copy !req
241. Er... Or was that somebody else?Copy !req
242. Yes, I think it was.
Well, he wasn't even wounded.Copy !req
243. - Why, did someone say he was dead?
- Yes!Copy !req
244. - What?
- It's true, My Lord.Copy !req
245. I stumbled on his body myself.Copy !req
246. Oh, pardon me,
thou bleeding piece of earth!Copy !req
247. - Good night, sweet King.
- That's enough of that.Copy !req
248. - May flights of angels sing...
- Thank you, Harry. Thank you, Harry.Copy !req
249. Thank you, Harry!Copy !req
250. Yes.Copy !req
251. And we all know who did
this dreadful deed, don't we?Copy !req
252. - Yes.
- Henry Tudor!Copy !req
253. Yes! And he still roams free.Copy !req
254. Harry, call for silence!Copy !req
255. Silence!Copy !req
256. For the King!Copy !req
257. Long live King Richard IV!Copy !req
258. This day has been
as t'were a mighty stewCopy !req
259. in which the beef of victory was mixedCopy !req
260. with the vile turnip
of sweet Richard slainCopy !req
261. and the grisly dumpling
of his killer fled.Copy !req
262. But we must eat
the yellow wobbly partsCopy !req
263. the good Lord serves.Copy !req
264. In life, each man gets
what he deserves!Copy !req
265. Well, come on.
Let's go and kill some more prisoners.Copy !req
266. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
267. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
268. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
269. Hurrah!Copy !req
270. We're safe and I am a prince
of the realm.Copy !req
271. - Hup, hup...
- Huzzah!Copy !req
272. Huzzah.Copy !req
273. Can you imagine the power?Copy !req
274. It's ours, all ours!Copy !req
275. What?Copy !req
276. - Yours, all yours!
- Yours.Copy !req
277. Ah, Edmund, there you are.Copy !req
278. Now, I know it's a little early,Copy !req
279. but I'd just like to get these
battle averages sorted out.Copy !req
280. Now then, who did you kill today?Copy !req
281. Erm...Copy !req
282. No one.Copy !req
283. No one! Oh, dear.Copy !req
284. Right, er, I'll put you down
for a duck then,Copy !req
285. which I'm afraid takes you out
of the running for the Legion Of Honour.Copy !req
286. Oh, I see. Sorry.Copy !req
287. Sorry, I thought you meant
had I killed King Richard.Copy !req
288. What?Copy !req
289. What was the question?Copy !req
290. Who did you kill today?Copy !req
291. Oh, I see. Er, right...Copy !req
292. Er... Let's see. Um...Copy !req
293. Pedant.Copy !req
294. What?Copy !req
295. Pleasant...Copy !req
296. Pedant.Copy !req
297. Peas...Copy !req
298. Peasants! Peasants!Copy !req
299. There were a lot of peasants.
But they don't really count, do they?Copy !req
300. Only in the event of a tie.Copy !req
301. Nevertheless, how many did you kill?Copy !req
302. Oh, er...Copy !req
303. - Four...
- Four.Copy !req
304. hundred. Hundred.Copy !req
305. Four hundred... Hand.Copy !req
306. Four hundred... Hand...Copy !req
307. Fifty.Copy !req
308. Four hundred and fifty!Copy !req
309. Good Lord.
That's three times more than myself!Copy !req
310. Yes, well, I had a couple
of lucky breaks.Copy !req
311. Any nobles?Copy !req
312. Ah, let me see... Nobles...Copy !req
313. Um, I think...Copy !req
314. Lord... Lord Coverdale.Copy !req
315. Who fought on our side, I believe.Copy !req
316. Uh, yes, I think
Lord Coverdale saw me slaying, erm...Copy !req
317. - Warwick.
- Warwick the Wild, of Leicester?Copy !req
318. Yes, that's him,
and pretty wild he was, too.Copy !req
319. He took some finishing off,
I can tell you.Copy !req
320. Yes, indeed. I killed him myself
at one point. Anyone else?Copy !req
321. Um, er...
Now, let me see. Er...Copy !req
322. I'm just trying to put names to faces.Copy !req
323. Yes. Well, this is the list of the lords
as yet unaccounted for.Copy !req
324. Erm, Roger de Runcey.Copy !req
325. Oh, de Runcey, yes,
he was one of mine. Yes.Copy !req
326. - Uh... Lord Thomas of Devon.
- Ah, yes, backslash.Copy !req
327. - Lord Yeovil.
- Ah, yes, groin job.Copy !req
328. Good Lord.Copy !req
329. This is remarkable, Edmund!
Remarkable!Copy !req
330. Oh, and the Bishop of Bath and Wells...Copy !req
331. Oh, yes. Will never walk again!Copy !req
332. will conduct
the thanksgiving service.Copy !req
333. Oh, Bath and Wells?Copy !req
334. Ah, Lord Percy.Copy !req
335. Edmund tells me that you managed
to turn up late for the battle,Copy !req
336. so there's not much point in asking you
your score, is there?Copy !req
337. At last, I can relax.Copy !req
338. Who the hell is this?Copy !req
339. Ah, well, you remember
that dying man we saw in the cottage?Copy !req
340. The one I specifically told you
not to bring back to the castleCopy !req
341. under any circumstances?Copy !req
342. Mmm-hmm.
Yes, that's the one. Yes.Copy !req
343. So what's he doing in my bed?Copy !req
344. Well, he claims to be a wealthy man.Copy !req
345. I thought if we nurse him
back to health,Copy !req
346. - he may reward us.
- Now, wait!Copy !req
347. I think I have an idea.Copy !req
348. If he is a wealthy man
and we nurse him back to health,Copy !req
349. he may reward us!Copy !req
350. Ah, brilliant, My Lord.
Very quick thinking.Copy !req
351. Thank you, Baldrick.Copy !req
352. Well, what would you expect?Copy !req
353. After all, who has the fastest brain
in the land?Copy !req
354. Prince Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh.Copy !req
355. Who is the boldest horseman in the land?Copy !req
356. - Prince Edmund...
- Duke of Edinburgh.Copy !req
357. Who is the bravest swordsman
in the land?Copy !req
358. Oh, don't tell me...
That's that... Oh, from Norfolk.Copy !req
359. - Prince...
- Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh.Copy !req
360. Precisely.Copy !req
361. Or, as I shall be known from now on...Copy !req
362. The Black Vegetable.Copy !req
363. My Lord, wouldn't something
like The Black Adder sound better?Copy !req
364. No, wait.Copy !req
365. I think I have a better idea.Copy !req
366. What about...Copy !req
367. The Black Adder?Copy !req
368. Hurrah.Copy !req
369. That one!Copy !req
370. That pair!Copy !req
371. That one!Copy !req
372. - Very witty, My Lord.
- Ah, thank you, Baldrick.Copy !req
373. Very, very, very witty, My Lord.Copy !req
374. Ah, thank you, Percy.Copy !req
375. You're certainly wittier
than your father,Copy !req
376. - My Lord.Copy !req
377. Yes, and head and shoulders
over Richard III!Copy !req
378. Is that supposed to be witty?Copy !req
379. Er... No, My Lord.Copy !req
380. That was an example of the sort of thingCopy !req
381. that you yourself would not stoop to.Copy !req
382. - Go away!
- Yes, My Lord.Copy !req
383. Oh, you're still here, are you?Copy !req
384. Er... Yes.Copy !req
385. Wait a minute!Copy !req
386. Haven't I seen you
somewhere before?Copy !req
387. I don't know.
I feel that I've seen you before also.Copy !req
388. Well, I am Prince Edmund,
son of Richard IV, in fact.Copy !req
389. - Why? Who are you?
- Well, I'm not important.Copy !req
390. Not important?
You mean you're not rich?Copy !req
391. Yes, yes, I'm incredibly rich.Copy !req
392. And I'm a very wealthy, erm...Copy !req
393. Modest person,
who wishes to remain nameless.Copy !req
394. Well, you'd better be rich.
Get your money together,Copy !req
395. get better and get out
of my bed! Is that clear?Copy !req
396. Oh, yes, very fetching.Copy !req
397. And hello to you.Copy !req
398. Hello. Hello. Oh, goodness me.Copy !req
399. I hadn't expected to see you like this.Copy !req
400. Sitting down, you mean?Copy !req
401. Yes, that's right.
Sitting down.Copy !req
402. Goodness, look...Copy !req
403. - Look, you're sitting down.
- Yes.Copy !req
404. Good Lord, I haven't
seen you sitting down since, er...Copy !req
405. Yesterday?Copy !req
406. Was it only yesterday? Good Lord.Copy !req
407. Erm... Er... Well...Copy !req
408. How was your battle?Copy !req
409. Fine. Somebody cut
my head off at one point,Copy !req
410. but otherwise,
everything went swimmingly.Copy !req
411. How are you, Edna?Copy !req
412. - Edmund.
- Oh, your father told me "Edna.”Copy !req
413. No...Copy !req
414. So, Edna, you loathsome
little fairy maggot,Copy !req
415. how are you?Copy !req
416. Uh... Oh, how very, very kind
of you to ask, um, Your Majesty.Copy !req
417. I'm very well.Copy !req
418. And, uh... And it's very good
to see you because, frankly...Copy !req
419. - Yes?
- Well, frankly, er...Copy !req
420. - Gosh, you look well.
- Frankly what?Copy !req
421. Spit it out you horrid,
little, scabby reptile.Copy !req
422. Um... Well, frankly,Copy !req
423. everyone thought you were dead.Copy !req
424. Well, frankly, I am.Copy !req
425. Oh!Copy !req
426. Do come in.Copy !req
427. - No, don't come in!
- Why not?Copy !req
428. Have you got someone in there with you?Copy !req
429. Um... Not as such.Copy !req
430. - Is it a woman?
- No.Copy !req
431. - Is it a man?
- Erm...Copy !req
432. Erm... Yes. Yes, it is.Copy !req
433. You hesitated, Edmund.Copy !req
434. It's not a sheep, is it?Copy !req
435. No, it certainly isn't a sheep.Copy !req
436. Well then, let me in.Copy !req
437. So farewell, Edna.
You'll be seeing me later.Copy !req
438. Erm... Have, er...Copy !req
439. Have you got transport?Copy !req
440. Erm, perhaps you'd like
to borrow my horse again.Copy !req
441. Or at all. I mean...
Not that you've borrowed it before.Copy !req
442. Coming.Copy !req
443. Are you all right, Edmund?Copy !req
444. Oh, you look as if
you've just seen a ghost.Copy !req
445. - Yes.
- Hurry up, anyway.Copy !req
446. You're expected at the banquet.Copy !req
447. Erm, look, um... Mother, er...Copy !req
448. You won't tell anyone
about my oversleeping this morningCopy !req
449. and what have you?Copy !req
450. - Now, will you?
- No, would I, Edmund?Copy !req
451. Do I tell people that
your brother Harry is scared of spoons?Copy !req
452. Or that your father
has very small private parts?Copy !req
453. Oh! Mother!Copy !req
454. Oh, Edmund.Copy !req
455. It's the lying
I find so hurtful.Copy !req
456. Slit him right up here.
Tore his head off.Copy !req
457. So sorry I'm late.Copy !req
458. Hold!Copy !req
459. You dare sit there, boy?Copy !req
460. That was King Richard's seat.
Would you insult his ghost?Copy !req
461. Erm... No.Copy !req
462. No, sorry.Copy !req
463. Yes, find your own chair,
you smelly little dog's pizzle.Copy !req
464. How many prisoners
have you got, Harry?Copy !req
465. - I've still got close to a gross...
- I'm not Harry, I'm Richard.Copy !req
466. - ... in the dungeons.
- Send a brace to my room, will you?Copy !req
467. Very well. Do you want them hung?Copy !req
468. - Hello? Hello?
- No, fresh ones.Copy !req
469. I want to practise my backhand!Copy !req
470. I don't think you need to,
the way you slaughtered Lord Stanley!Copy !req
471. Hello!Copy !req
472. Oh, I wish Uncle Dickie was here.Copy !req
473. - Ah.
- Don't Dickie me, duckie.Copy !req
474. Tonight, honoured friends,Copy !req
475. we are gathered to celebrate
a great victoryCopy !req
476. and to mourn a great loss.Copy !req
477. A toast to our triumph!Copy !req
478. Our triumph!Copy !req
479. And I raise a royal curseCopy !req
480. upon the man who slew Richard,
our noble king!Copy !req
481. It was him!Copy !req
482. Oh, my God!Copy !req
483. Quiet at the end there!Copy !req
484. - Whoever it was...
- It was him, Edna!Copy !req
485. - ... wherever he be...
- He's down there at the end!Copy !req
486. he shall be struck down!Copy !req
487. Well, then, get on with it.
You stupid oaf, he's there!Copy !req
488. - It wasn't me!
- Who said that?Copy !req
489. The idiot who killed me this afternoon.Copy !req
490. - I didn't.
- Well then, who did?Copy !req
491. It was actually Edmund
who interrupted, sire.Copy !req
492. Hang the little slug.Copy !req
493. I will have silence!Copy !req
494. Another toast.Copy !req
495. To dead King Richard.Copy !req
496. Oh, my God.Copy !req
497. Gentlemen.Copy !req
498. King Richard!Copy !req
499. Thank you.
Thank you very much for nothing.Copy !req
500. Thank you so much.Copy !req
501. That's the last you'll be seeing of me.Copy !req
502. Not that you've seen much of me anyway.Copy !req
503. Now that we have silence,Copy !req
504. we shall continue
with the ceremony of desecration.Copy !req
505. Produce the portrait
of the pretender, Henry Tudor.Copy !req
506. Oh, my God!Copy !req
507. - Good evening.
- Oh... Where's Henry Tudor?Copy !req
508. Oh, no!Copy !req
509. Where is he? Where is he?Copy !req
510. Whoo...Copy !req
511. Thank you so much.Copy !req
512. - Hail!
- Hail!Copy !req
513. Hail!Copy !req
514. - Ruler of men.
- Ravisher of women.Copy !req
515. Slayer of kings!Copy !req
516. Be gone, hideous crones.Copy !req
517. Be not amazed.Copy !req
518. Be not overcome with fear.Copy !req
519. Be not paralysed with terror.Copy !req
520. Why have you lured me here,
you loathsome drabs?Copy !req
521. We bear good news.Copy !req
522. What news could such
repulsive harbingers convey?Copy !req
523. Today has brought misfortune.Copy !req
524. - But one day...
- Oh, glorious day!Copy !req
525. - One day...
- Oh, happy day!Copy !req
526. Yes?Copy !req
527. You shall be king!Copy !req
528. Really?Copy !req
529. Yes.Copy !req
530. Your Majesty.Copy !req
531. Well, that is good news, isn't it?Copy !req
532. God be with you,
you snaggle-toothed vultures.Copy !req
533. History... Here I come!Copy !req
534. The sound of hoofbeats
across the gladeCopy !req
535. Good folk
lock up your son and daughterCopy !req
536. Beware the deadly flashing bladeCopy !req
537. Unless you want to end up shorterCopy !req
538. Black AdderCopy !req
539. Black AdderCopy !req
540. He rides a pitch-black steedCopy !req
541. Black AdderCopy !req
542. Black AdderCopy !req
543. He's very bad indeedCopy !req
544. Black, his gloves of finest moleCopy !req
545. Black, his codpiece made of metalCopy !req
546. His horse is blacker than a holeCopy !req
547. His pot is blacker than his kettleCopy !req
548. Black AdderCopy !req
549. Black AdderCopy !req
550. With many a cunning planCopy !req
551. Black AdderCopy !req
552. Black AdderCopy !req
553. You horrid little man!Copy !req
554. He wasn't as I expected him.Copy !req
555. I thought he was very rude.Copy !req
556. I thought Henry Tudor
would be better looking.Copy !req
557. Yes, not so Jewish.Copy !req
558. More like that man
who rode by just before.Copy !req
559. No!Copy !req
560. We've done it again!
You silly witches!Copy !req
561. Oh.Copy !req