Black Mirror 7x1

1. Oh my God!

2. Wow, look at us.

3. We were so happy then.

4. What happened to us?

5. I blame you.

6. I think it's your fault.

7. - Happy anniversary. - Happy anniversary.

8. Happy anniversary.

9. - Save it for tonight. - What?

10. - Yeah. - I'll make some coffee.

11. Okay, that's great.

12. You can stay here and look at more pictures of me.

13. Does anyone know how autonomous drone insects

14. help with flowers?

15. Anyone? Tisha.

16. - Polarization. - Ah!

17. Almost. Very close.

18. Pollination.

19. So the ADIs buzz from flower to flower

20. and spread pollen,

21. which is the same way organic bees used to do.

22. And the technology around this is amazing.

23. Oh, that's it.

24. Class is over.

25. Happy weekend, everybody.

26. - Bye. - Bye-bye. Bye-bye, see ya.

27. Hey, Eva.

28. Everything okay? What's up?

29. It's Tisha again.

30. She laughed at my shoes.

31. We can't afford new ones.

32. These were my sister's.

33. - Tisha says they're old. - Mm.

34. They're not old. They're vintage, which means they tell their own story.

35. And that is cool.

36. Okay, I guess so.

37. All right. Have a great weekend.

38. - Bye. - Bye. Who has the coolest shoes?

39. I guess me.

40. - Hey, cool shoes. - Thanks.

41. Amanda, are you coming for a drink?

42. Oh.

43. - Yes, you are, is the answer, but... - Well, the problem is I can't.

44. Come on, I could use the moral support.

45. I would love to come. Really, I can't.

46. Why not?

47. That's why not. Our anniversary. He's taking me away for the weekend.

48. - Guten Tag, ladies. - They're back.

49. They were at the back of your sock drawer.

50. I really tried my best to never see them again, but here we are.

51. It's tradition, isn't it?

52. Got the suede shorts, but I didn't think I should wear them around the school.

53. Are you taking her somewhere nice?

54. God, no. No, same old shithole.

55. - Where we got married. - All right, have a good time, you guys.

56. - Thank you. Bye. - Bye.

57. Be safe out there.

58. I'm so excited. Happy anniversary.

59. The minute your brain tries to think about it,

60. it can't think about it.

61. Still the same sign as ever.

62. You think Phyllis is still working the desk? I hope so.

63. I hope she's not, actually.

64. Do you remember when Janice got up and started singing?

65. Your maid of honor? Yes. Would she remember?

66. Do you think she was drunk?

67. - Oh my God. - And one Juniper Brat Burger.

68. - Jeez Louise. - One more Juniper Brat Burger.

69. Thank you, Polly.

70. - Wow. - Yeah, sure. Knock yourselves out.

71. - Thank you. Thank you? - Oh, it hasn't changed.

72. Oh, they have really outdone themselves.

73. - Ooh! - Look at that.

74. - Ready? - Yeah.

75. Three, two, one.

76. - Oh! - Mmm.

77. Mmm!

78. Oh, that's dense.

79. I like when my food fights back.

80. Wow. He's sweet.

81. I hope they're an item.

82. He's more committed than ever before.

83. Oh, look.

84. The old piece of gum is still here.

85. - Oh! - Hello, our little friend.

86. Who stuck you up there?

87. We all know how you feel.

88. What's with the sex yoga?

89. Apparently, this helps your little swimmers find their target.

90. Are you sure you wanna try again?

91. - This isn't an official try. - Mm-hmm.

92. But I'm okay with a happy accident.

93. Okay.

94. Although, arguably, I'm doing a lot of encouraging right now, so...

95. I'll encourage you.

96. Oh.

97. - Oh. Oh, you okay? - Another headache.

98. Another fucking headache. Oh, you poor thing.

99. Lucky for you, it's post-coitus.

100. Coitus. Nice.

101. - Can you grab my, uh... - Yeah, I got you.

102. - Medic... Oh, thank you. - Here you go.

103. Ooh.

104. That's, uh... Wow.

105. Made you some coffee, babe.

106. Babes?

107. Babe?

108. Hey. You okay?

109. - I got my period. - Oh.

110. Hey, we'll get 'em next time, okay?

111. - We bought this too soon. - No, don't do that.

112. Yeah. I mean, you know I can't resist a bargain,

113. but maybe it was bad luck.

114. Come on, Amanda.

115. Maybe it still is.

116. Let's put it on eBay and just get a couple bucks.

117. Shut up.

118. We're gonna need it soon.

119. After last time, we don't even... know if I can.

120. You can.

121. And you will.

122. Or my dick will die trying.

123. Ah...

124. - I'm late. I love you. - Love you.

125. Mike!

126. Mike!

127. - What? - Come here.

128. - What's up? - We need Shane on the rig.

129. - Where is he? - Taking too long on his break again.

130. All right, you weirdos.

131. Shane!

132. Don't be resting.

133. - Nothing. - Wait one moment.

134. Come on. You're taking the piss. Get out there.

135. I just threw some coin at this loser on Dum Dummies.

136. - On what? - Dum Dummies.

137. - You don't know about Dum Dummies? - No, come on.

138. It's so fucking funny.

139. Desperate people go on here,

140. and then the audience pays them to do some dark shit.

141. - When we reach 20 bucks— - I don't, I...

142. This guy is gonna drink his own piss. Look at him.

143. Oh, look, look. Target reached.

144. - Fucking sick. - He's drinking piss.

145. Jesus Christ.

146. - I'm supporting the gig economy. - Don't do it on the work computer.

147. You're so good at your job, I just wanna see you do it, you know?

148. Oh, fuck you guys.

149. Fucking Americans.

150. Then the sun's rays travel millions and millions of miles,

151. all from space,

152. and come down and hit the solar panels.

153. And then, once they hit the solar panels,

154. they, uh, travel

155. far...

156. travel... long.

157. Mike! Mike!

158. Hey, Mike!

159. Mike!

160. - What? - Hospital's trying to call you.

161. - What? - Something about Amanda.

162. - Did they say what it was? - I don't know, but it sounded serious.

163. There is no simple solution

164. due to where it's located and how long it's been growing.

165. It's essentially fused to her parietal lobe.

166. - Mr. Waters? - Yeah.

167. - As I was saying, there's no— - Is she gonna be okay?

168. I'm sorry. Her prognosis isn't good.

169. How...

170. Sorry, what are you saying to me right now?

171. She may never regain consciousness.

172. No.

173. No. I mean, come on, look at her.

174. She's breathing in there. There must be something you can do.

175. Even just a few months ago, I'd have said no,

176. but now there may be an option.

177. It's... it's a new start-up.

178. They have an experimental procedure.

179. - It's very new, so not without risk. - Okay.

180. Their rep was in here just last week.

181. I can't make a personal recommendation, but you want me to call her?

182. Yeah, I want you to call her.

183. Hi.

184. You must be Mike.

185. Uh-huh.

186. I'm Gaynor from Rivermind.

187. Come with me.

188. Rivermind is a revolution in neurological science.

189. How it works is both high-tech and incredibly simple.

190. So we take an imprint of the affected part of her neural structure,

191. and we clone it onto our mainframe.

192. So basically, we just... we make a backup

193. of part of her brain onto our computer.

194. And then we remove the tumor and the surrounding tissue and—

195. Wait, wait, wait. Isn't that dangerous?

196. Well, normally, yeah.

197. But we made a backup, remember?

198. And then we replace what we removed with synthetic receiver tissue.

199. And then the Rivermind System transmits cognitive function

200. from the backup on the cloud-based server.

201. - Allowing her to live her life. - Okay, has anyb—

202. Does this work, honestly? Has this been tested even?

203. Yes, it has.

204. I am living proof.

205. Wait. What are you talking about?

206. Do you want me to show you? Okay, you see me right now, right?

207. - I do. - Okay.

208. Eighteen months ago, this was me.

209. - Oh shit. - I had a terrible accident.

210. I got a knock to the head that technically killed me.

211. So I was... I was lucky to be one of the first Riverminders.

212. - Otherwise, I would not be here— - Are you...

213. I'm sorry. I don't— I... I don't know how else to say this.

214. - No, go ahead. Bring it on. - Are you, um...

215. Tell me. Normal?

216. - Yes. - Yes.

217. Physically, mentally, I...

218. I am fine.

219. And my kids say that I am still the same pain in the ass that I was.

220. It's really sweet.

221. - Do you have children? - Not yet.

222. Oh.

223. Been close a couple of times.

224. Mike.

225. This will give you time.

226. - Yeah. - Yeah.

227. It will.

228. Yeah.

229. - So a couple things you need to know. - Uh-huh.

230. She's gonna sleep more every night.

231. One or two more hours.

232. It's one of the ways that we help the demand on our servers.

233. And then she has to physically stay within the coverage range.

234. It's kind of like cell service. We're new, but let me just show you.

235. So we already have most of the state covered,

236. and in the next year or so,

237. we're gonna roll out nationwide and worldwide.

238. How much is this gonna cost?

239. It's less than you think.

240. Is it less than we have?

241. Because it's pretty tight.

242. Honestly, it's less than you think.

243. We're really trying to drive uptake, so our pricing is really reasonable.

244. Uh-huh.

245. And

246. the surgery is free.

247. Wow, okay.

248. - Yes. - Okay.

249. And then for the streaming, we run a subscription model.

250. - So it's 300. - Mm.

251. It's 300 a month.

252. - Okay. - Mm-hmm.

253. Mr. Waters?

254. She did great. You can see her now.

255. Hey.

256. - Hi. - Hey, babe.

257. Hi.

258. Is it really you?

259. Mm-hmm.

260. Aw, I'm so happy to see you.

261. - Ditto. - Mm.

262. They said I was gone for a couple days.

263. - Yeah, you were. - Mm-hmm.

264. I came back.

265. - So you did. - Thanks to you.

266. The doctor said I could go home next week.

267. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get you home.

268. Missed you.

269. That nurse said I was a miracle.

270. You are a fucking miracle.

271. I am a fucking miracle.

272. Hmm.

273. Holy shit! I mean,

274. I'm, like, really happy I'm alive, but 300 bucks a month?

275. Mike, it's a lot of money every month.

276. Yeah, I know. I know.

277. But I'm taking extra shifts, and there's stuff that we can cut back on.

278. Like... maybe we don't need that trip to Galway.

279. To see your dad? No.

280. It says Rivermind won't roll out in Ireland for a couple of years,

281. and Dad's a bit of a cunt now anyway, so that's a cutback I can live with.

282. Come on!

283. You know you're going, like, five miles per hour, right?

284. You just had surgery on your brain. I'm being cautious.

285. Yeah, well, there's cautious, and then there's, like, this.

286. You're so pretty when you're alive.

287. Okay, guys, let's take a look at our little friend,

288. our little amphibian.

289. Don't put your fingers in there 'cause he might think it's food.

290. - Hey. - Hey.

291. Go easy on those. Can't afford more until payday.

292. - Go grab me another one. - Sure.

293. Guy's pulling out his own tooth.

294. Oh yeah!

295. Look, he swallowed it!

296. Shit.

297. Babe.

298. Sorry I'm late.

299. Shane knocked over a scaffold.

300. Amanda?

301. Shit.

302. It's June 5th this Saturday.

303. Okay, and?

304. And?

305. Ju... June 5th.

306. Our anniversary?

307. - Oh shit. - God.

308. Oh, I'm sorry.

309. I didn't plan anything.

310. I did though.

311. We're going to the Juniper.

312. Okay.

313. A fun little splurge.

314. - You okay, hon? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

315. - I can drive. - I'm fine, Amanda.

316. Just a really long day today.

317. Yeah. You're doing too many shifts.

318. Mm, yeah, well, we need the money. It's not like you can get a second job.

319. - Oh. - You need to sleep.

320. Yeah, that's not really my fault.

321. I know. I know.

322. I'm not— That wasn't— That's not what I was saying.

323. You know, we could just not go to the Juniper

324. and save some money, you know?

325. We promised we'd always go on our anniversary, babe.

326. I know, I just... I'm saying we could celebrate at home.

327. I need a break, Amanda. I work my fucking arse off.

328. - We both do. It's not just you. - I'm not saying you don't. I'm not s—

329. - I didn't— - But I sleep all the time.

330. - And I'm just a teacher. - Oh, "just a teacher."

331. - Not manual labor. - I see where we're going.

332. - But that— - You work hard, Amanda.

333. - I'm not fucking disputing that. - I'm not making money...

334. We both work hard! Nobody is disputing that!

335. I'm just saying, don't you wanna have fun in our free time, you know?

336. Babe? Shit.

337. Babe, babe, babe? Sweetheart, can you hear me?

338. Okay, babe? Babe. We're gonna get you to the hospital, okay?

339. All right, wait, wait.

340. Oh shit.

341. Fuck, fuck!

342. Oh shit.

343. What happened? What happened?

344. - Why are you driving so fast? Don't... - I'm not.

345. Slow down.

346. What's wrong?

347. Oh my God.

348. Oh God.

349. I understand.

350. Wow, that must have been so frightening, you guys.

351. Yeah.

352. Oh.

353. The good news is there's no malfunction, Amanda.

354. - There... Wh... - What?

355. Did you not just... She blacked out.

356. - Yeah, it was... - I thought she was dead.

357. It's because you passed outside the coverage area.

358. - But you said that you checked the map. - I did check the m—

359. - I looked. It said it was within range. - You were gonna...

360. Ah, ah, ah. What happened was we are upgrading some of our towers,

361. and the ones in Palmer County are on the new bandwidth,

362. which is part of an exciting change to Rivermind's service.

363. What do you mean, change?

364. From Monday,

365. we are introducing Rivermind Plus.

366. Plus?

367. A new subscription tier that has extended coverage, okay?

368. So it makes great use of those upgraded towers.

369. - I'm gonna show you. Stand by. - That could be good.

370. - Yeah. We have this... - Here we go. All right, look at this.

371. This is it.

372. As you can see, we will be extending our coverage all over North America.

373. - So we can travel. - Yeah.

374. Yes, if you upgrade, then absolutely you can travel.

375. And if we don't?

376. Then you just stay within your existing coverage range.

377. So you're saying

378. that we have to upgrade to Plus

379. if we wanna leave the county?

380. Right, yeah.

381. When we signed up, you said it was just gonna roll out everywhere.

382. Yes, it is, with Rivermind Plus. That's what this is. This is the rollout.

383. How much is the... how much is the Plus?

384. So it is $500 a month

385. on top of the existing package.

386. So $800 in total.

387. - 800 bucks a month? - Yeah.

388. We can't afford that. That's not— We can't...

389. You don't have to worry about that.

390. I mean, if you choose not to upgrade, you'll just stay on Rivermind Common.

391. "Common"?

392. And you will continue to enjoy experiencing the services

393. that you already have at the current price point.

394. You okay? It's nearly eight o'clock. Won't you be late?

395. Yeah. I swear I'm sleeping more,

396. which was a life goal, but this isn't like normal sleep.

397. There's like a... electronic whistling in my head.

398. - You want a coffee? - Yes, please. God, yes, thank you.

399. Have you tried Espresso Grande?

400. The beans are roasted slow and long for a richer, smoother taste.

401. Can't say that I have.

402. - Can't say that you have what? - Tried Espresso Grande.

403. Is that what this is?

404. What? No. That's just our usual shit.

405. Mm.

406. - So why did you bring up Espresso Grande? - I didn't.

407. - Wait, what? - Sh— Fucking Shane.

408. Fucking Shane today.

409. See you later.

410. So, at the hive,

411. the bees pass the nectar between themselves until it's gooey,

412. and then they push it into the wax chamber until it becomes...

413. Anyone? Bobby.

414. It becomes honey.

415. That's right. Honey.

416. Kids love honey.

417. That's why parents love Honey Nugs.

418. Whole grain chunks covered in golden Tupelo honey,

419. the sweetest way to start your day.

420. Honey Nugs from Ditta.

421. And can anyone tell me something with honey in it?

422. Mickey.

423. Honey Nugs.

424. Honey what?

425. Honey Nugs.

426. What are... what are those?

427. The sweetest way to start your day.

428. Okay, if you say so.

429. Anyone else?

430. Bye-bye. Bye.

431. Bye, sweetie. See you tomorrow.

432. Hey, Oscar, what's up? You're kind of quiet today.

433. You okay?

434. Well, Mom says we have to move out to get away from Dad.

435. Oh, well,

436. you know, your mom must have a very good reason

437. to even think about saying something like that.

438. Yeah, Dad gets mad all the time.

439. That must be really scary.

440. Yeah, but he says it's Mom's fault.

441. I don't wanna go.

442. Oh, I hear you, Oscar.

443. Listen,

444. sometimes we have to do things that we don't wanna do,

445. but they turn out for the best.

446. Uh-huh.

447. And the truth is,

448. families that stay together bask in the glow of Christ's heart.

449. For more information on faith-based family counseling,

450. visit Christsheart.com.

451. Okay.

452. Okay.

453. Have a good day.

454. Long day?

455. Yeah.

456. Too long for a happy accident?

457. Fuck no.

458. Oh.

459. - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Mm.

460. Ride smooth with Thirst Trap Lube.

461. Mm...

462. Available in six flavors, none of them vanilla.

463. What did you say?

464. What?

465. - What did you just say? - I didn't say anything.

466. No, I mean when you were just talking about lube.

467. Oh, I don't need lube.

468. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

469. Why did you just say, "Ride smooth with Thirst Trap Lube"?

470. What? I didn't... I didn't say that.

471. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did, just now.

472. I know the kind of sex stuff that I say. I would never say that.

473. No, no. Sorry.

474. Fuck of a buzzkill, that.

475. Hoping for a hard time?

476. Try Manville Erectile Dysfunction Gel.

477. Side effects may include high blood pressure and suicidal ideation.

478. What?

479. Oh, yeah, that's a commercial message.

480. Jesus Christ.

481. As in an advertisement?

482. It's something that we are trialing as a part of the evolution of our service.

483. You must be in one of our test cells. Let me just check and see.

484. So you're running ads through me?

485. You're, like, giving me, like, commercial fucking Tourette's?

486. Okay, not all the customers appreciate the messages.

487. Ads! Those are ads!

488. - Yes. - Not messages, ads!

489. But they are designed

490. to be contextually relevant to the situation that you're in.

491. So they will stand out less in a conversation.

492. - They'll be less intrusive. - That makes them worse.

493. What's your next trick? You gonna make my asshole whistle jingles?

494. - That's not part of our development. - Can we opt out?

495. Of course you can. Yeah, all you need to do—

496. Is upgrade to Rivermind Plus.

497. That is right, Amanda.

498. - Upgrade. - We can't afford that.

499. You people are sick.

500. Hot, new Fall Nikes.

501. Just $200. Now at Foot Locker.

502. Amanda?

503. A quick word?

504. Sorry. Um, wait, she said I said what?

505. What I just told you.

506. She says that you recommended Christian family counseling to her son.

507. And, uh, listen, she's pissed, right?

508. God.

509. Like, I mean,

510. I said it doesn't sound like something that you'd say.

511. I didn't think that was happening during school hours. Shit.

512. You didn't think what would happen?

513. Feeling over the hill?

514. Don't panic. There's hope for you.

515. Find your mature match at Silver Swans.

516. Exclusive dating for the over 50.

517. I'm 49.

518. - What? - And... what the fuck are you talking about?

519. So she said if I can't stop doing it that they're gonna have to let me go.

520. Uh, what? I mean, she can't fire you.

521. What choice do they have?

522. I can't be around kids.

523. Amanda...

524. you know, if you lose your job,

525. we're gonna struggle to even cover our Common subscription.

526. I know.

527. We'll work it out.

528. We'll do something.

529. I'll do something.

530. Say goodbye to stomach gas

531. with Debloat's Gummies,

532. our unique blend of simethicone and THC.

533. Hi, it's Gaynor from Rivermind.

534. - How are you this morning? - Hello? Yes, yes.

535. Yes, thank God.

536. - You got my payment? - Yeah.

537. Can you flick a switch or whatever?

538. We are processing your Rivermind Plus upgrade now.

539. - How long does it take to kick in? - Should be pretty much instant.

540. Okay, great.

541. Ketchup, mustard, and...

542. While I have you, would you like to hear about exciting plans—

543. Fuck no. Hey, babe.

544. - Hey. - Hey.

545. Okay, so you're, uh, officially on Rivermind Plus.

546. - What? - Yeah.

547. I had a bit more left over from my overtime and stuff,

548. so I just... made an upgrade.

549. - Yeah, okay. - No more ads?

550. No more ads. No more ads.

551. And, hey, now, with the location restrictions off,

552. next anniversary,

553. we can go back to the Juniper.

554. Aw.

555. - I wish we could afford it. - I'll make sure we can afford it.

556. - Okay, thank you. - Yeah.

557. - Love you. - I love you.

558. Hey, Oscar. Listen, I just—

559. Mom said not to speak to you anymore.

560. Okay, I'm sorry. Um, can you tell your mom—

561. I'm not supposed to listen to you either.

562. - Hey, Oscar. Why don't you come with me? - Yeah.

563. Okay, guys.

564. Uh, we've just got 20 more bucks to reach our target.

565. And I will put my nose in this mousetrap.

566. I'm not gonna put it on my dick.

567. Not doing that either.

568. Mask stays on.

569. Fuck.

570. Okay.

571. How about, uh... how about this, guys?

572. How about for $90,

573. I'll put the fucking mousetrap on my tongue.

574. Mm...

575. Mm-mm.

576. It's 10:00 a.m.

577. How long have I been asleep?

578. Like... like, 12 hours.

579. - What? - Mm-hmm.

580. Jesus.

581. - Thank God it's the holidays. - Mm.

582. Thank God.

583. - What's wrong with you? - Hmm?

584. Bit my tongue.

585. Why am I sleeping longer?

586. As a part of our last firmware update,

587. we did extend the sleep time a little bit.

588. To 12 hours a night?

589. Well, everyone can use a little extra rest, right?

590. It's not, um, restful though.

591. Like, I'm not dreaming.

592. I wake up tired.

593. It doesn't feel like actual sleep.

594. Oh, well, that's 'cause it's sleep mode.

595. - "Sleep mode"? - Yeah.

596. While you're in sleep mode,

597. our servers are harnessing your spare processing capabilities

598. to help with the overall workload.

599. So you're using my brain

600. to... to power the server?

601. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

602. It is, except when you're in sleep mode. You can kind of think of it like

603. giving back to the grid.

604. Why do I have to give back to the grid?

605. Why? I mean, we pay for fucking Plus. It's supposed to be better than Common.

606. It's better than Common.

607. Seriously, if you were still on Common,

608. my God, you would be looking at sleeping at, like, up to 16 hours a night,

609. and with ads?

610. I mean, Amanda, I'd be happy to drop you back down a tier.

611. No.

612. Or you could move up to our exciting new tier.

613. It's actually the reason

614. that we have extended sleep mode for our non-premium users.

615. We're premium users.

616. Well, Plus is actually now Standard. But it is better than Common.

617. And this new tier, it is ultra-premium.

618. We call it

619. Rivermind Lux.

620. If you could just turn your attention to the monitor.

621. Take a look here. Right?

622. Ever since my fatal liposuction procedure,

623. Rivermind has been a lifesaver.

624. And now there's something even better. Rivermind Lux.

625. Rivermind Lux doesn't just keep your brain running.

626. It heightens your senses.

627. Meaning sights, sounds, flavors,

628. even the feeling of this breeze.

629. Mmm!

630. In fact, all physical sensations are simply more...

631. Mmm.

632. sensational than ever.

633. And you're in charge.

634. Dial it up or dial it down.

635. Take control of your mood with the Rivermind app.

636. And with the exclusive Rivermind Lux Ability Browser,

637. you can use skills and attributes sourced from other Rivermind users.

638. So if you thought you couldn't do parkour... think again.

639. Whoo!

640. Rivermind Lux.

641. It's life, but not as you know it.

642. So, uh, if I could have you back over here.

643. That was pretty cool, right?

644. - Great. - Mm-hmm.

645. How much does it cost?

646. It's just an additional $1,000 a month.

647. Oh, sweetheart, you'll wanna watch your head.

648. We can't... We can barely afford what we're paying now.

649. I know. We understand that Lux is a real VIP package.

650. So if you don't choose to subscribe to the full-time package,

651. we actually have temporary boosters

652. for, like, a few hours.

653. Or a few days.

654. No? So maybe if you have a special occasion, Amanda?

655. - We're not interested. - Okay.

656. - Thank you. - I understand.

657. How much are those booster packs?

658. What have you got, Dum Dummies?

659. No, I'm not putting one of my bunny ears up my a-hole.

660. Okay.

661. Let's make this fucking quick.

662. All good?

663. - You feeling okay? - Uh-huh.

664. Yep. Free to roam.

665. Okay!

666. It's better than that.

667. - What do you mean? - Check the glove box.

668. That's 12 hours of Rivermind Lux.

669. You're gonna have a very good time.

670. Mike, come on. We can't afford this.

671. I know, I know, I know.

672. It's one weekend.

673. I want you to enjoy it.

674. In fact, I order you to.

675. Thank you.

676. Yeah, that's it. You just scratch it.

677. And then you look at the code, and that activates it.

678. Okay, well, I put the app on your phone.

679. And then you just dial up your pleasure.

680. - Like this? - Mm-hmm.

681. That's it.

682. Oh wow.

683. Feel it?

684. Hi!

685. I like your truck.

686. Hm.

687. Your hand feels so nice.

688. - Yeah, yours feel nice. - Like extra, extra nice.

689. Two Juniper Brat Burgers.

690. Thank you.

691. Cheers.

692. Three, two, one.

693. You're in.

694. Mmm.

695. - Oh! - Oh my God.

696. It's exactly as I remember it. That is...

697. Oh, that's pungent.

698. That is just...

699. That's fucking amazing.

700. Oh, look, they're back. Oh Christ.

701. Babe.

702. Amanda.

703. Hey, you don't need to do all that for me, baby.

704. It feels so good.

705. It's just... it sounds like you're exaggerating a little bit.

706. I'm not. Oh, your skin feels so fucking good.

707. Yeah.

708. All right, maybe we can just dial it down a little bit.

709. Just literally on the app.

710. - No, no, no, not right now. - No. Okay. All right.

711. Oh, Jesus Christ. Do you mind if I just take a little breather?

712. Okay, okay.

713. Okay, you—

714. Oh Jesus.

715. Babe?

716. Babe, it's 11:00 a.m.

717. We gotta check out.

718. I guess Lux is over, then?

719. Mm-hmm.

720. Jack, Jack.

721. - Oh man. - Oh shit.

722. Jesus.

723. Morning.

724. Hey!

725. Mikey! If you're gonna live by the sword, you're gonna die by it, man.

726. - Okay. Whoa, watch out now, big guy. - Fucking arsehole.

727. Hey, just chill, man.

728. Fuck. What the fuck?

729. What, it's not so funny now, huh?

730. Is that not funny now? Come on, funny man.

731. - Give us a fuckin' giggle! - Let him go.

732. - Prick. - You're a fuckin' psycho!

733. Don't fuckin' speak!

734. Piss-drinking motherfucker!

735. - Come on! - Hey!

736. We're coming, man!

737. What the fuck are you doing? Back up!

738. - You're home early. - Mm-hmm.

739. What's wrong?

740. Mike?

741. Come on, you're scaring me.

742. I just got fired.

743. What?

744. But you've worked there for ten years.

745. Oh, I fucked up so bad, babe.

746. How? What did you— They can't just fire you.

747. I don't wanna talk about it.

748. You get fired and don't wanna talk about it?

749. Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.

750. Wait. So how do we, uh...

751. I don't...

752. What do we... How do we, um...

753. How will we pay for Rivermind Plus?

754. - I don't know. - I... I can't start running ads again.

755. They won't let me back in school.

756. Well, we'll... Do you know what? We'll go to Rivermind and plead our case.

757. They won't listen.

758. Because we're... we're loyal customers.

759. Yeah.

760. She knows us. She... yeah.

761. - I mean, it's been a long time. - Yeah?

762. We pay on time.

763. They have to listen, right?

764. Yeah.

765. I am afraid not.

766. You know, given a little time, I'm sure I will just get another job.

767. At Uber, Postmates, or whatever.

768. Great. Yes, that's great.

769. And when you do,

770. we will reinstate your full subscription.

771. I... I'll lose my job

772. if, uh, if I can't get back on Plus.

773. - Sorry, Plus is actually now Standard. - Please!

774. - Mm... Okay. Mm-hmm. - We are good customers

775. We're just asking for a little credit so we can get back on our feet.

776. I understand your circumstances, I do, but the system won't even let me input it.

777. - Come on. - Not even if I try. My hands are tied.

778. Don't make us use the baby money.

779. There's... there's still baby money?

780. - I mean, not fucking much, but yeah. - You didn't tell me.

781. - Let's not use it. - I didn't know.

782. Because if we use it, then that's it. What's the point?

783. - Yeah, but— - That's just giving in.

784. - Are you trying to get pregnant? - Surely... Yes!

785. You are?

786. I mean... we haven't been trying very hard lately, but...

787. We were hoping for a happy accident.

788. Okay. But you're not pregnant now.

789. Why are you asking?

790. Pregnancy costs extra.

791. When you're pregnant, it just alters the brain.

792. There are cortical shifts and changes to the ventral striatum.

793. It's a lot for your brain to process when you're pregnant.

794. Like, literally.

795. So it's $90 a month.

796. Oh!

797. Fuck you!

798. Hey. Uh, we're here for the crib.

799. I'll get it.

800. Good luck with the baby.

801. We're not having a baby.

802. Then why'd you want the crib?

803. We're setting it on fire for our music video.

804. Hey...

805. Hey, babe.

806. Hey.

807. How are you doing, sleepy head?

808. Happy anniversary.

809. You remembered.

810. Happy anniversary, babe.

811. Come with me, please.

812. I could only afford 30 minutes.

813. Oh, Mike.

814. - How did you even pay for this? - Don't worry about it.

815. You told me you weren't gonna do any more... tooth stuff.

816. No, no. It's just...

817. It's a private buyer. It's Dum Dummies, but it's a specialist thing.

818. Don't even think about it. Come on.

819. I'm just gonna slide your Serenity up to max.

820. I think it's time.

821. - No, I— - Yeah.

822. - I think we're okay for a little while. - It's time.

823. Only if you're sure.

824. I'm sure.

825. Okay.

826. Okay.

827. Do it when I'm not here.

828. There we go.

829. Are you comfy, babe?

830. I love you.

831. I love you too.

832. - Are you filled with dread? - Babe!

833. Wracked with despair?

834. Babe? Not yet.

835. Let the sun shine in with Endorphox antidepressant lozenges.

836. - Sustained release. - It's okay.

837. Endorphox is...

838. God.

839. I love you.