1. Oh my God!
Copy !req
2. Wow, look at us.
Copy !req
3. We were so happy then.
Copy !req
4. What happened to us?
Copy !req
5. I blame you.
Copy !req
6. I think it's your fault.
Copy !req
7. - Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
Copy !req
8. Happy anniversary.
Copy !req
9. - Save it for tonight.
- What?
Copy !req
10. - Yeah.
- I'll make some coffee.
Copy !req
11. Okay, that's great.
Copy !req
12. You can stay here
and look at more pictures of me.
Copy !req
13. Does anyone know
how autonomous drone insects
Copy !req
14. help with flowers?
Copy !req
15. Anyone? Tisha.
Copy !req
16. - Polarization.
- Ah!
Copy !req
17. Almost. Very close.
Copy !req
18. Pollination.
Copy !req
19. So the ADIs buzz from flower to flower
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20. and spread pollen,
Copy !req
21. which is the same way
organic bees used to do.
Copy !req
22. And the technology around this is amazing.
Copy !req
23. Oh, that's it.
Copy !req
24. Class is over.
Copy !req
25. Happy weekend, everybody.
Copy !req
26. - Bye.
- Bye-bye. Bye-bye, see ya.
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27. Hey, Eva.
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28. Everything okay? What's up?
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29. It's Tisha again.
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30. She laughed at my shoes.
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31. We can't afford new ones.
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32. These were my sister's.
Copy !req
33. - Tisha says they're old.
- Mm.
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34. They're not old. They're vintage,
which means they tell their own story.
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35. And that is cool.
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36. Okay, I guess so.
Copy !req
37. All right. Have a great weekend.
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38. - Bye.
- Bye. Who has the coolest shoes?
Copy !req
39. I guess me.
Copy !req
40. - Hey, cool shoes.
- Thanks.
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41. Amanda, are you coming for a drink?
Copy !req
42. Oh.
Copy !req
43. - Yes, you are, is the answer, but...
- Well, the problem is I can't.
Copy !req
44. Come on, I could use the moral support.
Copy !req
45. I would love to come. Really, I can't.
Copy !req
46. Why not?
Copy !req
47. That's why not. Our anniversary.
He's taking me away for the weekend.
Copy !req
48. - Guten Tag, ladies.
- They're back.
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49. They were at the back of your sock drawer.
Copy !req
50. I really tried my best
to never see them again, but here we are.
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51. It's tradition, isn't it?
Copy !req
52. Got the suede shorts, but I didn't think
I should wear them around the school.
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53. Are you taking her somewhere nice?
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54. God, no. No, same old shithole.
Copy !req
55. - Where we got married.
- All right, have a good time, you guys.
Copy !req
56. - Thank you. Bye.
- Bye.
Copy !req
57. Be safe out there.
Copy !req
58. I'm so excited. Happy anniversary.
Copy !req
59. The minute your brain
tries to think about it,
Copy !req
60. it can't think about it.
Copy !req
61. Still the same sign as ever.
Copy !req
62. You think Phyllis
is still working the desk? I hope so.
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63. I hope she's not, actually.
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64. Do you remember
when Janice got up and started singing?
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65. Your maid of honor?
Yes. Would she remember?
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66. Do you think she was drunk?
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67. - Oh my God.
- And one Juniper Brat Burger.
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68. - Jeez Louise.
- One more Juniper Brat Burger.
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69. Thank you, Polly.
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70. - Wow.
- Yeah, sure. Knock yourselves out.
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71. - Thank you. Thank you?
- Oh, it hasn't changed.
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72. Oh, they have really outdone themselves.
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73. - Ooh!
- Look at that.
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74. - Ready?
- Yeah.
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75. Three, two, one.
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76. - Oh!
- Mmm.
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77. Mmm!
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78. Oh, that's dense.
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79. I like when my food fights back.
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80. Wow. He's sweet.
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81. I hope they're an item.
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82. He's more committed than ever before.
Copy !req
83. Oh, look.
Copy !req
84. The old piece of gum is still here.
Copy !req
85. - Oh!
- Hello, our little friend.
Copy !req
86. Who stuck you up there?
Copy !req
87. We all know how you feel.
Copy !req
88. What's with the sex yoga?
Copy !req
89. Apparently, this helps
your little swimmers find their target.
Copy !req
90. Are you sure you wanna try again?
Copy !req
91. - This isn't an official try.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
92. But I'm okay with a happy accident.
Copy !req
93. Okay.
Copy !req
94. Although, arguably, I'm doing
a lot of encouraging right now, so...
Copy !req
95. I'll encourage you.
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96. Oh.
Copy !req
97. - Oh. Oh, you okay?
- Another headache.
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98. Another fucking headache.
Oh, you poor thing.
Copy !req
99. Lucky for you, it's post-coitus.
Copy !req
100. Coitus. Nice.
Copy !req
101. - Can you grab my, uh...
- Yeah, I got you.
Copy !req
102. - Medic... Oh, thank you.
- Here you go.
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103. Ooh.
Copy !req
104. That's, uh... Wow.
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105. Made you some coffee, babe.
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106. Babes?
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107. Babe?
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108. Hey. You okay?
Copy !req
109. - I got my period.
- Oh.
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110. Hey, we'll get 'em next time, okay?
Copy !req
111. - We bought this too soon.
- No, don't do that.
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112. Yeah. I mean,
you know I can't resist a bargain,
Copy !req
113. but maybe it was bad luck.
Copy !req
114. Come on, Amanda.
Copy !req
115. Maybe it still is.
Copy !req
116. Let's put it on eBay
and just get a couple bucks.
Copy !req
117. Shut up.
Copy !req
118. We're gonna need it soon.
Copy !req
119. After last time,
we don't even... know if I can.
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120. You can.
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121. And you will.
Copy !req
122. Or my dick will die trying.
Copy !req
123. Ah...
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124. - I'm late. I love you.
- Love you.
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125. Mike!
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126. Mike!
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127. - What?
- Come here.
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128. - What's up?
- We need Shane on the rig.
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129. - Where is he?
- Taking too long on his break again.
Copy !req
130. All right, you weirdos.
Copy !req
131. Shane!
Copy !req
132. Don't be resting.
Copy !req
133. - Nothing.
- Wait one moment.
Copy !req
134. Come on.
You're taking the piss. Get out there.
Copy !req
135. I just threw some coin
at this loser on Dum Dummies.
Copy !req
136. - On what?
- Dum Dummies.
Copy !req
137. - You don't know about Dum Dummies?
- No, come on.
Copy !req
138. It's so fucking funny.
Copy !req
139. Desperate people go on here,
Copy !req
140. and then the audience pays them
to do some dark shit.
Copy !req
141. - When we reach 20 bucks—
- I don't, I...
Copy !req
142. This guy is gonna drink his own piss.
Look at him.
Copy !req
143. Oh, look, look. Target reached.
Copy !req
144. - Fucking sick.
- He's drinking piss.
Copy !req
145. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
146. - I'm supporting the gig economy.
- Don't do it on the work computer.
Copy !req
147. You're so good at your job,
I just wanna see you do it, you know?
Copy !req
148. Oh, fuck you guys.
Copy !req
149. Fucking Americans.
Copy !req
150. Then the sun's rays travel
millions and millions of miles,
Copy !req
151. all from space,
Copy !req
152. and come down and hit the solar panels.
Copy !req
153. And then, once they hit the solar panels,
Copy !req
154. they, uh, travel
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155. far...
Copy !req
156. travel... long.
Copy !req
157. Mike! Mike!
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158. Hey, Mike!
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159. Mike!
Copy !req
160. - What?
- Hospital's trying to call you.
Copy !req
161. - What?
- Something about Amanda.
Copy !req
162. - Did they say what it was?
- I don't know, but it sounded serious.
Copy !req
163. There is no simple solution
Copy !req
164. due to where it's located
and how long it's been growing.
Copy !req
165. It's essentially fused
to her parietal lobe.
Copy !req
166. - Mr. Waters?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
167. - As I was saying, there's no—
- Is she gonna be okay?
Copy !req
168. I'm sorry. Her prognosis isn't good.
Copy !req
169. How...
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170. Sorry, what are you saying
to me right now?
Copy !req
171. She may never regain consciousness.
Copy !req
172. No.
Copy !req
173. No. I mean, come on, look at her.
Copy !req
174. She's breathing in there.
There must be something you can do.
Copy !req
175. Even just a few months ago,
I'd have said no,
Copy !req
176. but now there may be an option.
Copy !req
177. It's... it's a new start-up.
Copy !req
178. They have an experimental procedure.
Copy !req
179. - It's very new, so not without risk.
- Okay.
Copy !req
180. Their rep was in here just last week.
Copy !req
181. I can't make a personal recommendation,
but you want me to call her?
Copy !req
182. Yeah, I want you to call her.
Copy !req
183. Hi.
Copy !req
184. You must be Mike.
Copy !req
185. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
186. I'm Gaynor from Rivermind.
Copy !req
187. Come with me.
Copy !req
188. Rivermind is a revolution
in neurological science.
Copy !req
189. How it works is both high-tech
and incredibly simple.
Copy !req
190. So we take an imprint of the affected part
of her neural structure,
Copy !req
191. and we clone it onto our mainframe.
Copy !req
192. So basically, we just... we make a backup
Copy !req
193. of part of her brain onto our computer.
Copy !req
194. And then we remove the tumor
and the surrounding tissue and—
Copy !req
195. Wait, wait, wait. Isn't that dangerous?
Copy !req
196. Well, normally, yeah.
Copy !req
197. But we made a backup, remember?
Copy !req
198. And then we replace what we removed
with synthetic receiver tissue.
Copy !req
199. And then the Rivermind System
transmits cognitive function
Copy !req
200. from the backup on the cloud-based server.
Copy !req
201. - Allowing her to live her life.
- Okay, has anyb—
Copy !req
202. Does this work, honestly?
Has this been tested even?
Copy !req
203. Yes, it has.
Copy !req
204. I am living proof.
Copy !req
205. Wait. What are you talking about?
Copy !req
206. Do you want me to show you?
Okay, you see me right now, right?
Copy !req
207. - I do.
- Okay.
Copy !req
208. Eighteen months ago, this was me.
Copy !req
209. - Oh shit.
- I had a terrible accident.
Copy !req
210. I got a knock to the head
that technically killed me.
Copy !req
211. So I was... I was lucky to be
one of the first Riverminders.
Copy !req
212. - Otherwise, I would not be here—
- Are you...
Copy !req
213. I'm sorry. I don't—
I... I don't know how else to say this.
Copy !req
214. - No, go ahead. Bring it on.
- Are you, um...
Copy !req
215. Tell me. Normal?
Copy !req
216. - Yes.
- Yes.
Copy !req
217. Physically, mentally, I...
Copy !req
218. I am fine.
Copy !req
219. And my kids say that I am still
the same pain in the ass that I was.
Copy !req
220. It's really sweet.
Copy !req
221. - Do you have children?
- Not yet.
Copy !req
222. Oh.
Copy !req
223. Been close a couple of times.
Copy !req
224. Mike.
Copy !req
225. This will give you time.
Copy !req
226. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
227. It will.
Copy !req
228. Yeah.
Copy !req
229. - So a couple things you need to know.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
230. She's gonna sleep more every night.
Copy !req
231. One or two more hours.
Copy !req
232. It's one of the ways
that we help the demand on our servers.
Copy !req
233. And then she has to physically stay
within the coverage range.
Copy !req
234. It's kind of like cell service.
We're new, but let me just show you.
Copy !req
235. So we already have
most of the state covered,
Copy !req
236. and in the next year or so,
Copy !req
237. we're gonna roll out nationwide
and worldwide.
Copy !req
238. How much is this gonna cost?
Copy !req
239. It's less than you think.
Copy !req
240. Is it less than we have?
Copy !req
241. Because it's pretty tight.
Copy !req
242. Honestly, it's less than you think.
Copy !req
243. We're really trying to drive uptake,
so our pricing is really reasonable.
Copy !req
244. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
245. And
Copy !req
246. the surgery is free.
Copy !req
247. Wow, okay.
Copy !req
248. - Yes.
- Okay.
Copy !req
249. And then for the streaming,
we run a subscription model.
Copy !req
250. - So it's 300.
- Mm.
Copy !req
251. It's 300 a month.
Copy !req
252. - Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
253. Mr. Waters?
Copy !req
254. She did great. You can see her now.
Copy !req
255. Hey.
Copy !req
256. - Hi.
- Hey, babe.
Copy !req
257. Hi.
Copy !req
258. Is it really you?
Copy !req
259. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
260. Aw, I'm so happy to see you.
Copy !req
261. - Ditto.
- Mm.
Copy !req
262. They said I was gone for a couple days.
Copy !req
263. - Yeah, you were.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
264. I came back.
Copy !req
265. - So you did.
- Thanks to you.
Copy !req
266. The doctor said I could go home next week.
Copy !req
267. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get you home.
Copy !req
268. Missed you.
Copy !req
269. That nurse said I was a miracle.
Copy !req
270. You are a fucking miracle.
Copy !req
271. I am a fucking miracle.
Copy !req
272. Hmm.
Copy !req
273. Holy shit! I mean,
Copy !req
274. I'm, like, really happy I'm alive,
but 300 bucks a month?
Copy !req
275. Mike, it's a lot of money every month.
Copy !req
276. Yeah, I know. I know.
Copy !req
277. But I'm taking extra shifts,
and there's stuff that we can cut back on.
Copy !req
278. Like... maybe we don't need
that trip to Galway.
Copy !req
279. To see your dad? No.
Copy !req
280. It says Rivermind won't roll out
in Ireland for a couple of years,
Copy !req
281. and Dad's a bit of a cunt now anyway,
so that's a cutback I can live with.
Copy !req
282. Come on!
Copy !req
283. You know you're going,
like, five miles per hour, right?
Copy !req
284. You just had surgery on your brain.
I'm being cautious.
Copy !req
285. Yeah, well, there's cautious,
and then there's, like, this.
Copy !req
286. You're so pretty when you're alive.
Copy !req
287. Okay, guys,
let's take a look at our little friend,
Copy !req
288. our little amphibian.
Copy !req
289. Don't put your fingers in there
'cause he might think it's food.
Copy !req
290. - Hey.
- Hey.
Copy !req
291. Go easy on those.
Can't afford more until payday.
Copy !req
292. - Go grab me another one.
- Sure.
Copy !req
293. Guy's pulling out his own tooth.
Copy !req
294. Oh yeah!
Copy !req
295. Look, he swallowed it!
Copy !req
296. Shit.
Copy !req
297. Babe.
Copy !req
298. Sorry I'm late.
Copy !req
299. Shane knocked over a scaffold.
Copy !req
300. Amanda?
Copy !req
301. Shit.
Copy !req
302. It's June 5th this Saturday.
Copy !req
303. Okay, and?
Copy !req
304. And?
Copy !req
305. Ju... June 5th.
Copy !req
306. Our anniversary?
Copy !req
307. - Oh shit.
- God.
Copy !req
308. Oh, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
309. I didn't plan anything.
Copy !req
310. I did though.
Copy !req
311. We're going to the Juniper.
Copy !req
312. Okay.
Copy !req
313. A fun little splurge.
Copy !req
314. - You okay, hon?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
315. - I can drive.
- I'm fine, Amanda.
Copy !req
316. Just a really long day today.
Copy !req
317. Yeah. You're doing too many shifts.
Copy !req
318. Mm, yeah, well, we need the money.
It's not like you can get a second job.
Copy !req
319. - Oh.
- You need to sleep.
Copy !req
320. Yeah, that's not really my fault.
Copy !req
321. I know. I know.
Copy !req
322. I'm not— That wasn't—
That's not what I was saying.
Copy !req
323. You know,
we could just not go to the Juniper
Copy !req
324. and save some money, you know?
Copy !req
325. We promised we'd always go
on our anniversary, babe.
Copy !req
326. I know, I just...
I'm saying we could celebrate at home.
Copy !req
327. I need a break, Amanda.
I work my fucking arse off.
Copy !req
328. - We both do. It's not just you.
- I'm not saying you don't. I'm not s—
Copy !req
329. - I didn't—
- But I sleep all the time.
Copy !req
330. - And I'm just a teacher.
- Oh, "just a teacher."
Copy !req
331. - Not manual labor.
- I see where we're going.
Copy !req
332. - But that—
- You work hard, Amanda.
Copy !req
333. - I'm not fucking disputing that.
- I'm not making money...
Copy !req
334. We both work hard!
Nobody is disputing that!
Copy !req
335. I'm just saying, don't you wanna have fun
in our free time, you know?
Copy !req
336. Babe? Shit.
Copy !req
337. Babe, babe, babe?
Sweetheart, can you hear me?
Copy !req
338. Okay, babe? Babe.
We're gonna get you to the hospital, okay?
Copy !req
339. All right, wait, wait.
Copy !req
340. Oh shit.
Copy !req
341. Fuck, fuck!
Copy !req
342. Oh shit.
Copy !req
343. What happened? What happened?
Copy !req
344. - Why are you driving so fast? Don't...
- I'm not.
Copy !req
345. Slow down.
Copy !req
346. What's wrong?
Copy !req
347. Oh my God.
Copy !req
348. Oh God.
Copy !req
349. I understand.
Copy !req
350. Wow, that must have been
so frightening, you guys.
Copy !req
351. Yeah.
Copy !req
352. Oh.
Copy !req
353. The good news is
there's no malfunction, Amanda.
Copy !req
354. - There... Wh...
- What?
Copy !req
355. Did you not just... She blacked out.
Copy !req
356. - Yeah, it was...
- I thought she was dead.
Copy !req
357. It's because you passed
outside the coverage area.
Copy !req
358. - But you said that you checked the map.
- I did check the m—
Copy !req
359. - I looked. It said it was within range.
- You were gonna...
Copy !req
360. Ah, ah, ah. What happened was
we are upgrading some of our towers,
Copy !req
361. and the ones in Palmer County
are on the new bandwidth,
Copy !req
362. which is part of an exciting change
to Rivermind's service.
Copy !req
363. What do you mean, change?
Copy !req
364. From Monday,
Copy !req
365. we are introducing Rivermind Plus.
Copy !req
366. Plus?
Copy !req
367. A new subscription tier
that has extended coverage, okay?
Copy !req
368. So it makes great use
of those upgraded towers.
Copy !req
369. - I'm gonna show you. Stand by.
- That could be good.
Copy !req
370. - Yeah. We have this...
- Here we go. All right, look at this.
Copy !req
371. This is it.
Copy !req
372. As you can see, we will be extending
our coverage all over North America.
Copy !req
373. - So we can travel.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
374. Yes, if you upgrade,
then absolutely you can travel.
Copy !req
375. And if we don't?
Copy !req
376. Then you just stay
within your existing coverage range.
Copy !req
377. So you're saying
Copy !req
378. that we have to upgrade to Plus
Copy !req
379. if we wanna leave the county?
Copy !req
380. Right, yeah.
Copy !req
381. When we signed up, you said
it was just gonna roll out everywhere.
Copy !req
382. Yes, it is, with Rivermind Plus.
That's what this is. This is the rollout.
Copy !req
383. How much is the... how much is the Plus?
Copy !req
384. So it is $500 a month
Copy !req
385. on top of the existing package.
Copy !req
386. So $800 in total.
Copy !req
387. - 800 bucks a month?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
388. We can't afford that.
That's not— We can't...
Copy !req
389. You don't have to worry about that.
Copy !req
390. I mean, if you choose not to upgrade,
you'll just stay on Rivermind Common.
Copy !req
391. "Common"?
Copy !req
392. And you will continue to enjoy
experiencing the services
Copy !req
393. that you already have
at the current price point.
Copy !req
394. You okay? It's nearly eight o'clock.
Won't you be late?
Copy !req
395. Yeah. I swear I'm sleeping more,
Copy !req
396. which was a life goal,
but this isn't like normal sleep.
Copy !req
397. There's like a...
electronic whistling in my head.
Copy !req
398. - You want a coffee?
- Yes, please. God, yes, thank you.
Copy !req
399. Have you tried Espresso Grande?
Copy !req
400. The beans are roasted slow and long
for a richer, smoother taste.
Copy !req
401. Can't say that I have.
Copy !req
402. - Can't say that you have what?
- Tried Espresso Grande.
Copy !req
403. Is that what this is?
Copy !req
404. What? No. That's just our usual shit.
Copy !req
405. Mm.
Copy !req
406. - So why did you bring up Espresso Grande?
- I didn't.
Copy !req
407. - Wait, what?
- Sh— Fucking Shane.
Copy !req
408. Fucking Shane today.
Copy !req
409. See you later.
Copy !req
410. So, at the hive,
Copy !req
411. the bees pass the nectar
between themselves until it's gooey,
Copy !req
412. and then they push it into the wax chamber
until it becomes...
Copy !req
413. Anyone? Bobby.
Copy !req
414. It becomes honey.
Copy !req
415. That's right. Honey.
Copy !req
416. Kids love honey.
Copy !req
417. That's why parents love Honey Nugs.
Copy !req
418. Whole grain chunks
covered in golden Tupelo honey,
Copy !req
419. the sweetest way to start your day.
Copy !req
420. Honey Nugs from Ditta.
Copy !req
421. And can anyone tell me
something with honey in it?
Copy !req
422. Mickey.
Copy !req
423. Honey Nugs.
Copy !req
424. Honey what?
Copy !req
425. Honey Nugs.
Copy !req
426. What are... what are those?
Copy !req
427. The sweetest way to start your day.
Copy !req
428. Okay, if you say so.
Copy !req
429. Anyone else?
Copy !req
430. Bye-bye. Bye.
Copy !req
431. Bye, sweetie. See you tomorrow.
Copy !req
432. Hey, Oscar, what's up?
You're kind of quiet today.
Copy !req
433. You okay?
Copy !req
434. Well, Mom says we have to move out
to get away from Dad.
Copy !req
435. Oh, well,
Copy !req
436. you know, your mom must have
a very good reason
Copy !req
437. to even think about
saying something like that.
Copy !req
438. Yeah, Dad gets mad all the time.
Copy !req
439. That must be really scary.
Copy !req
440. Yeah, but he says it's Mom's fault.
Copy !req
441. I don't wanna go.
Copy !req
442. Oh, I hear you, Oscar.
Copy !req
443. Listen,
Copy !req
444. sometimes we have to do things
that we don't wanna do,
Copy !req
445. but they turn out for the best.
Copy !req
446. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
447. And the truth is,
Copy !req
448. families that stay together
bask in the glow of Christ's heart.
Copy !req
449. For more information
on faith-based family counseling,
Copy !req
450. visit Christsheart.com.
Copy !req
451. Okay.
Copy !req
452. Okay.
Copy !req
453. Have a good day.
Copy !req
454. Long day?
Copy !req
455. Yeah.
Copy !req
456. Too long for a happy accident?
Copy !req
457. Fuck no.
Copy !req
458. Oh.
Copy !req
459. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Copy !req
460. Ride smooth with Thirst Trap Lube.
Copy !req
461. Mm...
Copy !req
462. Available in six flavors,
none of them vanilla.
Copy !req
463. What did you say?
Copy !req
464. What?
Copy !req
465. - What did you just say?
- I didn't say anything.
Copy !req
466. No, I mean
when you were just talking about lube.
Copy !req
467. Oh, I don't need lube.
Copy !req
468. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
469. Why did you just say,
"Ride smooth with Thirst Trap Lube"?
Copy !req
470. What? I didn't... I didn't say that.
Copy !req
471. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did, just now.
Copy !req
472. I know the kind of sex stuff that I say.
I would never say that.
Copy !req
473. No, no. Sorry.
Copy !req
474. Fuck of a buzzkill, that.
Copy !req
475. Hoping for a hard time?
Copy !req
476. Try Manville Erectile Dysfunction Gel.
Copy !req
477. Side effects may include
high blood pressure and suicidal ideation.
Copy !req
478. What?
Copy !req
479. Oh, yeah, that's a commercial message.
Copy !req
480. Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
481. As in an advertisement?
Copy !req
482. It's something that we are trialing
as a part of the evolution of our service.
Copy !req
483. You must be in one of our test cells.
Let me just check and see.
Copy !req
484. So you're running ads through me?
Copy !req
485. You're, like, giving me,
like, commercial fucking Tourette's?
Copy !req
486. Okay, not all the customers
appreciate the messages.
Copy !req
487. Ads! Those are ads!
Copy !req
488. - Yes.
- Not messages, ads!
Copy !req
489. But they are designed
Copy !req
490. to be contextually relevant
to the situation that you're in.
Copy !req
491. So they will stand out less
in a conversation.
Copy !req
492. - They'll be less intrusive.
- That makes them worse.
Copy !req
493. What's your next trick?
You gonna make my asshole whistle jingles?
Copy !req
494. - That's not part of our development.
- Can we opt out?
Copy !req
495. Of course you can.
Yeah, all you need to do—
Copy !req
496. Is upgrade to Rivermind Plus.
Copy !req
497. That is right, Amanda.
Copy !req
498. - Upgrade.
- We can't afford that.
Copy !req
499. You people are sick.
Copy !req
500. Hot, new Fall Nikes.
Copy !req
501. Just $200. Now at Foot Locker.
Copy !req
502. Amanda?
Copy !req
503. A quick word?
Copy !req
504. Sorry.
Um, wait, she said I said what?
Copy !req
505. What I just told you.
Copy !req
506. She says that you recommended
Christian family counseling to her son.
Copy !req
507. And, uh, listen, she's pissed, right?
Copy !req
508. God.
Copy !req
509. Like, I mean,
Copy !req
510. I said it doesn't sound
like something that you'd say.
Copy !req
511. I didn't think that was happening
during school hours. Shit.
Copy !req
512. You didn't think what would happen?
Copy !req
513. Feeling over the hill?
Copy !req
514. Don't panic. There's hope for you.
Copy !req
515. Find your mature match at Silver Swans.
Copy !req
516. Exclusive dating for the over 50.
Copy !req
517. I'm 49.
Copy !req
518. - What?
- And... what the fuck are you talking about?
Copy !req
519. So she said if I can't stop doing it
that they're gonna have to let me go.
Copy !req
520. Uh, what? I mean, she can't fire you.
Copy !req
521. What choice do they have?
Copy !req
522. I can't be around kids.
Copy !req
523. Amanda...
Copy !req
524. you know, if you lose your job,
Copy !req
525. we're gonna struggle to even cover
our Common subscription.
Copy !req
526. I know.
Copy !req
527. We'll work it out.
Copy !req
528. We'll do something.
Copy !req
529. I'll do something.
Copy !req
530. Say goodbye to stomach gas
Copy !req
531. with Debloat's Gummies,
Copy !req
532. our unique blend of simethicone and THC.
Copy !req
533. Hi, it's Gaynor from Rivermind.
Copy !req
534. - How are you this morning?
- Hello? Yes, yes.
Copy !req
535. Yes, thank God.
Copy !req
536. - You got my payment?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
537. Can you flick a switch or whatever?
Copy !req
538. We are processing
your Rivermind Plus upgrade now.
Copy !req
539. - How long does it take to kick in?
- Should be pretty much instant.
Copy !req
540. Okay, great.
Copy !req
541. Ketchup, mustard, and...
Copy !req
542. While I have you, would you like
to hear about exciting plans—
Copy !req
543. Fuck no. Hey, babe.
Copy !req
544. - Hey.
- Hey.
Copy !req
545. Okay, so you're, uh, officially
on Rivermind Plus.
Copy !req
546. - What?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
547. I had a bit more left over
from my overtime and stuff,
Copy !req
548. so I just... made an upgrade.
Copy !req
549. - Yeah, okay.
- No more ads?
Copy !req
550. No more ads. No more ads.
Copy !req
551. And, hey, now,
with the location restrictions off,
Copy !req
552. next anniversary,
Copy !req
553. we can go back to the Juniper.
Copy !req
554. Aw.
Copy !req
555. - I wish we could afford it.
- I'll make sure we can afford it.
Copy !req
556. - Okay, thank you.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
557. - Love you.
- I love you.
Copy !req
558. Hey, Oscar. Listen, I just—
Copy !req
559. Mom said not to speak to you anymore.
Copy !req
560. Okay, I'm sorry.
Um, can you tell your mom—
Copy !req
561. I'm not supposed to listen to you either.
Copy !req
562. - Hey, Oscar. Why don't you come with me?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
563. Okay, guys.
Copy !req
564. Uh, we've just got 20 more bucks
to reach our target.
Copy !req
565. And I will put my nose in this mousetrap.
Copy !req
566. I'm not gonna put it on my dick.
Copy !req
567. Not doing that either.
Copy !req
568. Mask stays on.
Copy !req
569. Fuck.
Copy !req
570. Okay.
Copy !req
571. How about, uh... how about this, guys?
Copy !req
572. How about for $90,
Copy !req
573. I'll put the fucking mousetrap
on my tongue.
Copy !req
574. Mm...
Copy !req
575. Mm-mm.
Copy !req
576. It's 10:00 a.m.
Copy !req
577. How long have I been asleep?
Copy !req
578. Like... like, 12 hours.
Copy !req
579. - What?
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
580. Jesus.
Copy !req
581. - Thank God it's the holidays.
- Mm.
Copy !req
582. Thank God.
Copy !req
583. - What's wrong with you?
- Hmm?
Copy !req
584. Bit my tongue.
Copy !req
585. Why am I sleeping longer?
Copy !req
586. As a part of
our last firmware update,
Copy !req
587. we did extend the sleep time a little bit.
Copy !req
588. To 12 hours a night?
Copy !req
589. Well, everyone can use
a little extra rest, right?
Copy !req
590. It's not, um, restful though.
Copy !req
591. Like, I'm not dreaming.
Copy !req
592. I wake up tired.
Copy !req
593. It doesn't feel like actual sleep.
Copy !req
594. Oh, well, that's 'cause it's sleep mode.
Copy !req
595. - "Sleep mode"?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
596. While you're in sleep mode,
Copy !req
597. our servers are harnessing
your spare processing capabilities
Copy !req
598. to help with the overall workload.
Copy !req
599. So you're using my brain
Copy !req
600. to... to power the server?
Copy !req
601. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Copy !req
602. It is, except when you're in sleep mode.
You can kind of think of it like
Copy !req
603. giving back to the grid.
Copy !req
604. Why do I have to give back to the grid?
Copy !req
605. Why? I mean, we pay for fucking Plus.
It's supposed to be better than Common.
Copy !req
606. It's better than Common.
Copy !req
607. Seriously,
if you were still on Common,
Copy !req
608. my God, you would be looking at
sleeping at, like, up to 16 hours a night,
Copy !req
609. and with ads?
Copy !req
610. I mean, Amanda, I'd be happy
to drop you back down a tier.
Copy !req
611. No.
Copy !req
612. Or you could move up
to our exciting new tier.
Copy !req
613. It's actually the reason
Copy !req
614. that we have extended sleep mode
for our non-premium users.
Copy !req
615. We're premium users.
Copy !req
616. Well, Plus is actually now Standard.
But it is better than Common.
Copy !req
617. And this new tier, it is ultra-premium.
Copy !req
618. We call it
Copy !req
619. Rivermind Lux.
Copy !req
620. If you could just
turn your attention to the monitor.
Copy !req
621. Take a look here. Right?
Copy !req
622. Ever since my fatal liposuction procedure,
Copy !req
623. Rivermind has been a lifesaver.
Copy !req
624. And now there's something even better.
Rivermind Lux.
Copy !req
625. Rivermind Lux doesn't just
keep your brain running.
Copy !req
626. It heightens your senses.
Copy !req
627. Meaning sights, sounds, flavors,
Copy !req
628. even the feeling of this breeze.
Copy !req
629. Mmm!
Copy !req
630. In fact, all physical sensations
are simply more...
Copy !req
631. Mmm.
Copy !req
632. sensational than ever.
Copy !req
633. And you're in charge.
Copy !req
634. Dial it up or dial it down.
Copy !req
635. Take control of your mood
with the Rivermind app.
Copy !req
636. And with the exclusive
Rivermind Lux Ability Browser,
Copy !req
637. you can use skills and attributes
sourced from other Rivermind users.
Copy !req
638. So if you thought you couldn't do parkour...
think again.
Copy !req
639. Whoo!
Copy !req
640. Rivermind Lux.
Copy !req
641. It's life, but not as you know it.
Copy !req
642. So, uh, if I could have you
back over here.
Copy !req
643. That was pretty cool, right?
Copy !req
644. - Great.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
645. How much does it cost?
Copy !req
646. It's just an additional $1,000 a month.
Copy !req
647. Oh, sweetheart,
you'll wanna watch your head.
Copy !req
648. We can't... We can barely afford
what we're paying now.
Copy !req
649. I know. We understand
that Lux is a real VIP package.
Copy !req
650. So if you don't choose
to subscribe to the full-time package,
Copy !req
651. we actually have temporary boosters
Copy !req
652. for, like, a few hours.
Copy !req
653. Or a few days.
Copy !req
654. No? So maybe if you have
a special occasion, Amanda?
Copy !req
655. - We're not interested.
- Okay.
Copy !req
656. - Thank you.
- I understand.
Copy !req
657. How much are
those booster packs?
Copy !req
658. What have you got, Dum Dummies?
Copy !req
659. No, I'm not putting
one of my bunny ears up my a-hole.
Copy !req
660. Okay.
Copy !req
661. Let's make this fucking quick.
Copy !req
662. All good?
Copy !req
663. - You feeling okay?
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
664. Yep. Free to roam.
Copy !req
665. Okay!
Copy !req
666. It's better than that.
Copy !req
667. - What do you mean?
- Check the glove box.
Copy !req
668. That's 12 hours of Rivermind Lux.
Copy !req
669. You're gonna have a very good time.
Copy !req
670. Mike, come on. We can't afford this.
Copy !req
671. I know, I know, I know.
Copy !req
672. It's one weekend.
Copy !req
673. I want you to enjoy it.
Copy !req
674. In fact, I order you to.
Copy !req
675. Thank you.
Copy !req
676. Yeah, that's it.
You just scratch it.
Copy !req
677. And then you look at the code,
and that activates it.
Copy !req
678. Okay, well, I put the app on your phone.
Copy !req
679. And then you just dial up your pleasure.
Copy !req
680. - Like this?
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
681. That's it.
Copy !req
682. Oh wow.
Copy !req
683. Feel it?
Copy !req
684. Hi!
Copy !req
685. I like your truck.
Copy !req
686. Hm.
Copy !req
687. Your hand feels so nice.
Copy !req
688. - Yeah, yours feel nice.
- Like extra, extra nice.
Copy !req
689. Two Juniper Brat Burgers.
Copy !req