- 1. - Coach.
- 2. - Where do I go?
Proceed to the hub.
- 3. Got ya.
- 4. - How will I know who he is?
This is him.
- 5. Sorry. Fork.
- 6. - Amy.
- No, no, my name's not fork.
- 7. - I guessed. It was just—
- It's Frank.
- 8. - Do you wanna sit? Shall we sit?
- I think it's that or stand.
- 9. Come sit, yeah?
- 10. Oh, oh! That's, um... I was on that side.
- 11. - Oh. Shall I...?
- No, no, it doesn't matter.
- 12. Sorry. I'm so bloody nervous.
- 13. It's my first time on the,
you know, the system.
- 14. - Me too.
- Oh, really?
- 15. Yeah, I'm shitting it, mate.
- 16. - Come to mention it, you look terrified.
- Do I?
- 17. - Yeah, quaking with fear.
- Or maybe shaking with revulsion?
- 18. At least you stopped... shitting.
- 19. Oh!
- 20. - Are you sure about that?
- 21. - Shall we stop talking about shitting?
- Maybe order some food? Good plan.
- 22. Yeah. OK.
- 23. - Do you know how we order?
- I think we use these.
- 24. - Oh!
Menu choice already established.
- 25. Oh. Ta.
Here you are, sir.
- 26. And for you, madam.
- 27. Well, evidently I'm a pasta girl.
- 28. Yeah, I'm a, uh...
- 29. - ... fishcake...
- 30. Hmm.
- 31. - It's good.
- Can I try some?
- 32. Are we... allowed to do that?
- 33. Fuck it.
- 34. - Yeah, fuck it.
- 35. - Mm. That is good.
- 36. So... we're both first-timers.
- 37. Hmm.
- 38. - Shall we check our expiry date?
- Yeah, good plan.
- 39. Yeah? All right, um,
so I think it's under "info."
- 40. Yeah, uh, "tap to reveal."
We have to tap to reveal at the same time.
- 41. - OK. So, on three, two, one. Go.
- 42. - Twelve hours.
- Yeah, 12 hours.
- 43. - OK.
- Bit, um...
- 44. - Yeah.
- Bit short.
- 45. - It is a bit short, isn't it?
- 46. Oh. And getting shorter.
I didn't realize it would...
- 47. sort of count down like that.
- 48. It's sort of sad.
- 49. Maybe we should eat quickly.
- 50. - Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should.
- The race is on.
- 51. - Come on, hurry up.
- 52. I guess this is us.
- 53. And this takes us to the place?
- 54. Yeah, suppose so.
- 55. - After you.
- 56. It's massive.
- 57. Here we are.
- 58. Huh.
- 59. - Do you wanna open it or shall I?
- You go ahead.
- 60. - All right.
- Ha! Too slow.
- 61. You're a knob.
- 62. Oh, God. It's a shithole.
- 63. - You're kidding.
- I am, yeah.
- 64. Ooh!
- 65. It's nice. I, uh, like that lamp.
- 66. - Yeah, it's incredible, that lamp.
- 67. Hmm.
- 68. Right. That's, uh...
- 69. There's an en suite.
- 70. - Shower or bath?
- 71. Ah. That's good.
- 72. Uh. Well, I'm...
I'm just gonna use the loo.
- 73. Yeah, I've got to, uh... over here, so...
- 74. Yeah.
- 75. OK, seriously, what are we meant to do?
- 76. Query too broad. Please narrow.
- 77. Well, I mean, are we just meant to...
I don't know, like, just go at it?
- 78. Fucking hell.
- 79. So, are we meant to just
have sex with each other?
- 80. Participants are not required
to take any specific action.
- 81. Yeah, but I mean we can, right?
- 82. I mean, people do
if it's just a short time?
- 83. If that's your decision.
- 84. - It's up to us?
It's up to you.
- 85. I could just sleep here.
- 86. Don't be daft.
You'll be scrunched up in a ball.
- 87. It's not awful.
- 88. The bed's pretty big.
I'm sure we could both fit in it.
- 89. Yeah, OK.
- 90. Must have been mental before the system.
- 91. How do you mean?
- 92. Well, people had to do
the whole relationship thing themselves,
- 93. work out who they wanna be with.
- 94. Hmm. Option paralysis.
- 95. So many choices, you end up
not knowing which one you want.
- 96. Yeah, exactly, and if things seem shitty,
- 97. they'd have to figure out whether
they wanted to break up with someone.
- 98. How to break up with someone.
- 99. - Just a nightmare.
- It's not like when it's all mapped out.
- 100. God, no. It's so much simpler
when it's all mapped out.
- 101. Hmm.
- 102. - This is weird, though.
- It really is. Hmm.
- 103. - Well, then.
- 104. Thanks for being my first.
- 105. Oh. Yeah.
- 106. Bloody time.
- 107. It was great, you know. You were nice.
- 108. - So were you.
- 109. If we had this time again,
you would totally get it, by the way.
- 110. - Oh, you... You bastard.
- 111. - You'd get it, too.
- Fucked that one up, didn't we?
- 112. - Yeah, totally.
- 113. I guess I just don't see the point
in something that short. Twelve hours.
- 114. Even your reaction to a brief encounter
- 115. provides the system
with valuable information.
- 116. Yeah, well, I didn't even do anything.
The system thinks I'm a prude.
- 117. The system makes
no moral judgments.
- 118. Yeah, but how do I know she wasn't
the perfect match for me? She was...
- 119. Your ultimate compatible other
has not yet been selected.
- 120. Yeah, I know, but it's—
- 121. The system gains insight
as each participant progresses
- 122. through numerous relationships
- 123. and uses the gathered data to eventually
select an ultimate compatible other.
- 124. On your pairing day, I know,
and it always finds your perfect match.
- 125. In 99.8% of cases.
- 126. But I have to go through
loads of relationships to find it.
- 127. That is correct.
- 128. - What was that?
- 129. Another relationship.
- What, already?
- 130. What's this, another one?
- 131. That is correct.
- 132. I'd best go get changed, then.
- 133. Holy fuck. Tell me that's him.
- 134. I cannot confirm identity
until a personal introduction is made.
- 135. - Hi.
- 136. - I like your hair.
- Yours is good too.
- 137. - It's all my own.
- 138. It's just funny.
- 139. Hi.
- 140. I'm Frank.
- 141. Hmm.
- 142. Nicola. I've been here a while.
- 143. Aye, sorry. I was getting changed.
- 144. - Really?
- You started already?
- 145. - I was hungry.
- Yeah, course, yeah. Sorry.
- 146. Come on, let's get it over with.
Checking the expiry.
- 147. Oh! Yeah, yeah.
- 148. One year.
- 149. We've got each other for one year?
Could be a mistake.
- 150. - Coach, is this a mistake?
This is not a mistake.
- 151. Jesus fucking Christ.
- 152. There'll be a reason.
- 153. Thanks.
- 154. Look on the bright side.
Chicken tikka masala.
- 155. What?
- 156. Chicken tikka mas— It's a joke.
- 157. Right. So you're the sort of person
that makes jokes.
- 158. - OK, so on three.
- Two, one.
- 159. Oh. Interesting.
- 160. Nine months.
- 161. Well... cheers.
- 162. Cheers.
- 163. Pretty much the same as my last one.
- 164. - How many of these have you had?
- Relationships? So far? Five.
- 165. Oh.
- I'm an old hand, I suppose.
- 166. Listen, I'm just gonna jump in the shower.
- 167. - OK.
- Won't be long.
- 168. Hey.
- 169. Hi.
- 170. So, listen, if you're OK with it,
this is relationship five for me,
- 171. and I've found it's best to have sex
straight away upfront.
- 172. Right, yeah.
- 173. Kind of breaks the ice, gives an early
overview of compatibility and so on.
- 174. Yep.
- 175. - So I'm consenting to everything now.
- 176. Whenever you feel comfortable
doing the same—
- 177. Tikka masala. Just...
- 178. What?
- It's a bit tikka masala.
- 179. Oh. I'm sorry.
Talking makes it worse.
- 180. Sorry.
- 181. No, no, you're gonna have to do it
- 182. You what?
- From behind.
- 183. Bit faster?
- 184. More motion.
- 185. Not like that. More motion.
You're all in out, in out,
- 186. like you're trying to shut a drawer
into a filing cabinet.
- 187. Sorry.
- It's just boring.
- 188. Want a bit more side to side.
- 189. Like this?
- 190. No, not really.
- 191. - What was that?
- 192. - Nothing.
- 193. Fucking hell.
- 194. So I can't just walk away?
- 195. That is correct.
- 196. One day it will provide you
with the ultimate match.
- 197. One day. One day.
- 198. So I'd just like to say,
- 199. do have faith in the system,
because it does deliver.
- 200. - It did for us.
- 201. You have so many experiences,
- 202. and then one day it pairs you up
with your ultimate match,
- 203. the best in show, as it were.
- 204. Ha.
- 205. So if you're having doubts,
just hang on in there.
- 206. - Because it really does work.
- 207. Garlic dip. Thanks for that.
- 208. Hi. Hi.
- 209. - Was that, uh, your...?
- 210. - Yeah. Nicola.
- Oh. Nicola.
- 211. Hmm.
- 212. You OK?
- 213. No, you're not being...?
Are you being serious?
- 214. Oh, my God.
OK, this is happening. OK, um, just...
- 215. - You look well.
- 216. I'd return the compliment, but you've just
spat food on my shoe, so...
- 217. To be fair, it is a revolting shoe, so...
- 218. All the better to kick you with.
- 219. Was that really hard?
- 220. - Ouch.
- I'm so sorry. Fuck.
- 221. Oh. Oh! Um... Uh...
- 222. Lenny, this is, um, Frank.
Frank, this is Lenny.
- 223. - Hi, Lenny. You all right?
- 224. We were together for a bit.
- 225. - A small... small bit.
- Yeah, just before we...
- 226. So you two...? Oh. That's... that's great.
- 227. So, I mean... it looks like you two
make a great team.
- 228. Yeah.
- 229. Yeah.
- Um, I'll see you.
- 230. Yeah.
- 231. - You know that noise you make?
- What noise?
- 232. - Do I do that?
- Yeah, you do, quite often.
- 233. Does it bother you?
- 234. A bit, yeah.
- 235. - I'll try not to.
- 236. So it's been great, really.
- 237. - Shame it has to end.
- But end it must.
- 238. Anyway...
- 239. - OK, bye.
- 240. Another partner already?
- 241. That is correct.
- 242. So, three, two, one, go.
- 243. Thirty-six hours?
- 244. Well, uh... bye.
- 245. - Bye.
- 246. Three, two, one.
- 247. - I just wanna say—
- 248. Well, I learned what it's like to cohabit
with someone I despise.
- 249. - Is that useful for the system?
Everything happens for a reason.
- 250. That's sooner than I expected.
- 251. Hello, you.
- 252. Hi.
- 253. Is this right?
- 254. Yeah.
- 255. Yeah, I didn't think the system
would hook us up again.
- 256. No, me neither. I mean,
I hope it's right, obviously, but...
- 257. - Coach, are we sat at the right table?
Yes, that is correct.
- 258. OK, well...
- 259. Wait, um...
Can we not check the expiry date?
- 260. - Uh... Why?
- Just sick of it.
- 261. The system's just bounced me from bloke
to bloke, short fling after short fling.
- 262. I know they're short flings,
they're just meaningless,
- 263. and I get really detached.
It's like I'm not really there.
- 264. So the other week, I was with this guy,
God knows who, basically just a haircut.
- 265. And I literally had
this out-of-body experience.
- 266. I wandered out of my body,
and I sat in this chair across the room
- 267. and I watched myself fucking this guy.
And I was, like, what is that all about?
- 268. That is literally just a dick
going in and out of a hole.
- 269. - Yeah, that's pretty detached.
- 270. When it's a long-term thing,
it's just as bad,
- 271. watching the clock like you're a prisoner,
counting the hours, the minutes.
- 272. - Oh, God, I've been there.
- 273. - Yeah, let's not check the expiry, then.
- 274. - It's a deal.
- 275. OK.
Bring on les fishcake.
- 276. I don't know.
- 277. - So?
- 278. - Might as well.
- I suppose we have to.
- 279. - Don't know how much time we've got.
- Yeah, it could be ten minutes.
- 280. - Think you could last ten minutes?
- Fuck off.
- 281. All right. OK, then.
- 282. Wait. One of us should
get undressed first.
- 283. - Why only one of us?
- It'll be funny.
- 284. - Go on then. Get your kit off.
- 285. No. No, it was my idea.
- 286. All right.
- 287. This is kind of emasculating.
- 288. Well, then, you'd better
make up for it in a minute.
- 289. Sorry.
- 290. What if there is no scrutiny, it's just
putting us together in any old order,
- 291. and we all go along with it 'cause they're
always telling us how clever it is?
- 292. Yeah, but it does put people with the one.
It's got a 99.8% success rate.
- 293. But how do you know
they're perfect matches?
- 294. I mean, what if all it's actually doing
is gradually wearing us down,
- 295. putting us in one relationship
- 296. for random durations
in a random sequence?
- 297. Each time you get a little bit
more pliable, a little bit more broken,
- 298. until eventually it coughs up the final
offering and says that's the one.
- 299. And by that point
you are so defeated and so exhausted
- 300. that you just accept it, you settle.
- 301. And then you have to live
the rest of your life
- 302. convincing yourself you didn't.
- 303. Well done. That's one of
the bleakest things I've ever heard.
- 304. Thank you.
- 305. Right. Do you wanna know my theory?
Let's assume the system isn't random.
- 306. - It's as sophisticated as they say it is.
- 307. Right, so using these,
it slurps up all your reactions, yeah?
- 308. - It builds up a complex profile.
- 309. Every crazy thought you've ever had, all
your dreams and your weaknesses and—
- 310. - And your mad theories.
- Yeah, like, everything in your head.
- 311. - Right.
- So if it's everything in your head...
- 312. - does it have thoughts?
- All right, so now you're gonna say:
- 313. "What if that's us
and we're stuck in a simulation?"
- 314. Well, how would we know?
- 315. I think that settles it.
- 316. I might have been programmed to go "Ow."
- 317. OK.
- 318. - Hey, come here.
- 319. - Coach?
- 320. - I've gotta know.
What would you like to know?
- 321. The expiry date for me and Amy.
I need to know how long.
- 322. You're not gonna talk me out of it?
- 323. Would you like me
to talk you out of it?
- 324. Yeah. Uh... No. I...
- 325. Don't know.
- 326. No, I'm not gonna do it.
I said I wouldn't.
- 327. We shook on it.
- 328. - Fuck it.
- 329. Coach?
- 330. - Coach.
- 331. What's happening?
Coach, it's getting shorter.
- 332. One-sided observation
has destabilized the expiry date.
- 333. - What?
- 334. has destabilized the expiry date.
- 335. Recalibrating.
- 336. 'Cause I looked at it on my own,
it made it shorter?
- 337. That is correct.
- 338. All right, well, undo it, then.
Make it go back.
- 339. I cannot do that. Recalibrating.
- 340. What if she looks at it?
- 341. Once shortened,
the expiry date cannot be extended.
- 342. - Why?
- 343. Everything happens for a reason.
- 344. - Come on. Come on.
- 345. - When will it stop?
It will stabilize
- 346. once recalibration has completed.
- 347. Stop it. Stop it. Just...
- 348. You OK?
- 349. Yeah, I'm fine.
- 350. - All right.
- 351. Have you ever had more than four
or less than four?
- 352. What you thinking about?
- 353. Nothing.
- 354. All right, seriously, what's up?
- 355. I looked.
- Looked at what?
- 356. We promised we wouldn't. We shook on it.
- 357. - Don't you wanna know what it said?
- No. That was the point.
- 358. - It's almost done anyway.
- How almost done?
- 359. We've got, like, an hour.
- 360. - Why didn't you tell me this before?
- 361. - Didn't wanna spoil today.
- And this hasn't spoilt it?
- 362. It was supposed to be five years,
- 363. I looked at it, something happened,
it started going down.
- 364. - I don't know what it was.
- So you broke it?
- 365. No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, I don't... I don't know.
- 366. Why did you have to look at it?
- 367. Look, I was thinking maybe
we could overcome it somehow.
- 368. Why did you have to look at it?
- 369. - Because I like you.
- 370. Like properly, really, I like you.
- 371. - For fuck's sake. And that wasn't enough?
- That's not the point.
- 372. - I looked, but that's not the issue here.
- Are you sure about that?
- 373. You're more wound up about that
than how short the time is.
- 374. Yes, because we had agreed.
- 375. - Listen. Listen. Listen.
- 376. - What if we just ignore it?
- We can't.
- 377. Listen, we'll just fuck the system.
We'll fuck it—
- 378. - And do what?
- We'll jump out, over the wall, get out.
- 379. - There is nothing out there.
- How d'you know? How d'you know?
- 380. - Amy...
- You've ruined this.
- 381. You've ruined it.
- 382. - Hey, it's nothing.
- 383. - Amy.
- Don't follow me.
- 384. Amy, I'm sorry.
- 385. Amy.
- 386. Everything happens for a reason.
- 387. The system will be assessing
- 388. to the painful premature termination
of a treasured relationship
- 389. and will adjust and improve its profile
of your eventual chosen one accordingly.
- 390. You're a great comfort.
- 391. I swear to God,
I feel like scaling the wall out there
- 392. and jumping in the fucking wilderness.
- 393. That would contravene the rules
of the system.
- 394. Oh, the fucking system.
- 395. Failure to comply with the system
may result in banishment.
- 396. All right, I know.
- 397. Christ, will you let me be angry at least?
Will you give me that?
- 398. You must vacate your current
living quarters when the time expires.
- 399. Like I didn't know.
- 400. And if I hadn't have looked,
we'd have been together years.
- 401. She was...
- 402. You know when you meet someone
and you just know? You just know that...
- 403. Reckon you could pop this in me now?
I've sort of got jaw ache.
- 404. Yeah, come on.
- 405. And after all that,
he never even apologized, not once.
- 406. That's too bad.
- 407. Do you mind if I think about her?
- 408. If I can think about him?
- 409. Yeah, sound.
- 410. One, two, three, four.
- 411. One, two, three, four.
- 412. Congratulations, Amy.
Your ultimate match has been identified.
- 413. Your pairing day is tomorrow.
- 414. - Ultimate as in "the one"?
That is correct.
- 415. - And we meet tomorrow?
That is correct.
- 416. Tomorrow you'll be coupled
with your ultimate match
- 417. and together
you will leave this place forever.
- 418. OK.
- 419. Are you allowed
to tell me anything about them?
- 420. - Do I know them already?
- 421. - Right.
There is one more thing.
- 422. Yeah, and what's that?
- 423. Prior to pairing day, you have
been allocated a short farewell period
- 424. with an individual of your choosing.
- 425. A farewell period?
Like, I get to say goodbye to someone?
- 426. That is correct.
- 427. Data shows this can help provide
- 428. Frank, I choose Frank.
- 429. Your choice has been registered.
- 430. Wait. Where are we meeting?
- 431. Usual booth, 7:30 p.m.
- 432. Right.
- 433. - Coach?
- 434. Count to four.
- 435. One, two, three, four.
- 436. Wait, wait. How long have we got?
- 437. Look, the system's set
my pairing day for tomorrow.
- 438. - Yeah, me too.
- 439. I don't want whoever the system
reckons the one is, OK?
- 440. - I want you.
- I want you.
- 441. Failure to comply with the system
- 442. - may result in banishment.
- You can fuck off.
- 443. Can you remember where you were
before you came here?
- 444. You can't, can you?
- 445. - No.
- Me neither.
- 446. - Why can't I think of that?
- It's a test.
- 447. Do you remember the first night
that we were together? How did you feel?
- 448. I felt safe, happy, comfortable.
- 449. It felt right. It felt like something
locked into place, like we'd met before.
- 450. Like it had happened before
and it'll happen again,
- 451. like it's happened a thousand times
over and over again.
- 452. - Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah. Yeah, I do.
- 453. Ever since we've met,
this world has been toying with us.
- 454. It's trying to keep us apart. It's...
- 455. It's a test, I swear it is,
- 456. and the two of us rebelling together
is something to do with passing it.
- 457. - We've gotta fuck it all off.
- 458. Exactly. We've just gotta
fuck the whole thing off and go.
- 459. - Yeah, over the wall.
- Right over it.
- 460. - No matter what's out there.
- 461. So let's go.
- 462. Yeah, let's go.
- 463. Come on.