1. 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in nasty situations.'
Copy !req
2. 'Let's play Botherguts!'
Copy !req
3. 'Come on!
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4. 'Three, two, one!
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5. 'Go!
Copy !req
6. 'Chuck her a bun!
Copy !req
7. 'Not hungry? That's a first?
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8. 'Come on!
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9. 'That'd hurt!
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10. Brilliant!
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11. Fucking brilliant, that!
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12. That one does that sometimes.
Hang on.
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13. There's a little knob
in here somewhere.
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14. Almost the only real thing in there,
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15. and even that's grown
in a Petri dish.
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16. Thank you.
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17. 'Licking my pussy.'
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18. For Christ's sake!
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19. Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut!
Cheers for the reflection!
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20. One minute I'm in slitsville,
the next there's a haunted pig
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21. gawping at me. They may as well
have cut to a war crime!
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22. Oi!
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23. You missed a bit.
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24. Pie ape!
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25. You see that?
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26. Fucking pie ape!
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27. He'll be in lemon
and all before long!
Copy !req
28. 'Selma Telse.'
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29. 'Howie Mandelbrot.'
Copy !req
30. 'Each headlines their own content on
one of your eight daylight streams.
Copy !req
31. 'But they started here, like you.
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32. 'Putting their back into giving
back for a brighter now.
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33. 'Each paying their dues like you,
hoping to become a hot shot.'
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34. 'That wasn't good...
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35. '.. that was beyond incredible!'
Copy !req
36. 'You decide the victors,
you control their fates,
Copy !req
37. 'you make the call on Hot Shots.
Copy !req
38. 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situations.
Copy !req
39. 'So let's view it.'
Copy !req
40. 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
Copy !req
41. 'Resume viewing.
Copy !req
42. 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
Copy !req
43. 'Resume viewing.'
Copy !req
44. 'You are going to see it all.'
Copy !req
45. 'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL.
Copy !req
46. 'Hey, what else were you planning
to do with that hand?'
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47. 'You lick my pussy, baby.
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48. 'I turn you on!
Copy !req
49. 'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello.
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50. 'Hi, I'm Evie.'
Copy !req
51. Didn't let him sign in.
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52. Told him to report to 22 down.
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53. Told ya!
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54. He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck!
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55. What do you think?
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56. It's a bit much.
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57. Yeah.
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58. 'Best thing about my new lifestyle?
Where do I start?
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59. 'I love choosing my own clothes
and I love gold.
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60. 'I feel like it really
expresses who I really am
Copy !req
61. 'and I love looking over outside.
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62. 'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just
wish that everyone could see it.'
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63. Nice outfit
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64. Suits you.
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65. 'Well, honesty is ruthless
so I suppose it's just honesty...
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66. 'ruthless honesty.'
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67. Drying my hands.
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68. Impressive.
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69. Have fun...
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70. I mean, on the...
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71. 'Hey, regular user!
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72. 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situation.
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73. 'Select view... '
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74. Dick.
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75. Detritus. Sorry.
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76. Come on!
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77. Wait. There's a knack to it.
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78. - You'll take your fingers off.
- Trust me.
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79. Smart.
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80. Bing Manson.
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81. Short for Bingham.
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82. Abi Carner.
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83. Short for Abi Carner.
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84. You're a new person.
I've not seen you.
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85. I just went 21 last week.
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86. I wanted to go to Airdale
My sister's there, but...
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87. It's full, apparently.
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88. Proper fruit.
It was worth the risk.
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89. The most natural thing in there's
probably grown in a Petri dish.
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90. Yeah.
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91. Quite good, though.
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92. Yeah. That's the right way round.
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93. When you get the cheap one,
you end up having to pedal it off.
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94. Then you want more sugar. Then
you're playing catch-up and I've...
Copy !req
95. I've been there.
It's a vicious circle.
Copy !req
96. Can't you just use that CPT app?
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97. What's that?
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98. This cognitive behavioural thing.
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99. It realigns your thinking
to pick healthy food.
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100. Whispers you into it
while you sleep.
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101. Yeah, I should try that, yeah.
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102. I liked your singing the other day.
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103. I was trying to sing
so no-one could hear me pee.
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104. I'm not Selma or anything.
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105. You've got a phenomenal voice.
It was the most beautiful song...
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106. Y... You think I'm being cheesy?
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107. All right, I am being cheesy.
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108. But it was beautiful, so, you know...
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109. Reality's cheesy sometimes.
Not often, admittedly, but...
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110. Now.
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111. Yeah...
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112. Well, thank you.
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113. It's just noises, though.
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114. Noises in the right order.
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115. Don't downplay... you're good.
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116. The song's good. It's old.
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117. My mum used to sing it
and she learnt it from her mum.
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118. A hand-me-down.
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119. You thought of trying out
for Hot Shot?
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120. Me?
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121. Why not?
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122. Singing in front of Judge Hope?
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123. I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway
to the afterlife come the chorus.
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124. No, you'd walk it.
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125. A) I wouldn't.
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126. And B)... I don't have
that clockage.
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127. It's, what, 12 mil just to enter?
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128. What kind of bike time is that?
Six months?
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129. - Yeah, but...
- I'm hand to mouth.
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130. I know people save and stuff
to get onto that stage
Copy !req
131. and then there's what Selma did.
But, you know what?
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132. - I'd rather not give myself...
- Yeah, but I'll gift it to you.
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133. The full 12, I'll gift it.
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134. Don't be ridiculous!
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135. Seriously, I've got it spare.
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136. You've got 12 mil spare?
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137. My brother left it me.
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138. Own a channel, does he?
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139. No, he...
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140. He died.
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141. He... He died last year,
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142. so it got transferred to me.
Copy !req
143. Just over six months' worth,
but I've kept it.
Copy !req
144. Why don't you spend it on you, then?
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145. And buy what? Some new shoes
for my doppel to wear?
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146. I don't know, upgrade your MOS...
Copy !req
147. Or get a Fat Attack season pass?
Copy !req
148. Buy one of those wall buddies.
Copy !req
149. The new ones that talk to you after
shutting and solve your problems.
Copy !req
150. They guide your dreams, like gurus.
It's amazing, really, what they can do.
Copy !req
151. A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I
look as a werewolf? What's the point?
Copy !req
152. - I know it can be quite funny.
- It's all just stuff. It's...
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153. It's stuff, it's confetti, it's...
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154. You've got something real.
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155. What better to spend it on?
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156. You heard me singing in a toilet.
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157. Is that real?
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158. More than anything that's
happened all year.
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159. I can't take that kind of clockage
off someone.
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160. It's 12 mils, no way.
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161. Let me do this.
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162. I... I look around here, I just...
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163. I just want something real to happen.
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164. Just once.
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165. I'd mess up.
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166. You wouldn't. I don't care anyway.
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167. I'll go with you.
I'll be able to force you.
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168. I'll force you to go.
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169. It's tomorrow.
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170. Come on!
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171. Say yes.
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172. I'll go as far as to say, "OK."
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173. Which proves acceptable.
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174. Thank God for that.
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175. Walking away now.
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176. You loon!
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177. I can live with it!
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178. I'd love to fucking ruin that
and all.
Copy !req
179. What?
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180. 15?
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181. A flippin' joke...
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182. 'New from Wraith Babes.
Copy !req
183. 'The hottest girls
in the nastiest situations.'
Copy !req
184. Yeah!
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185. Can't believe I'm doing this.
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186. I am doing this.
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187. I can't be doing this.
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188. Can you trade it back?
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189. The ticket?
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190. Don't be mad.
Copy !req
191. It's a lot of pressure
to put someone under, you know.
Copy !req
192. Don't think I'm not grateful.
But it's, it's just...
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193. You're babbling.
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194. I'm babbling.
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195. I made you this.
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196. You never get to keep them more
than a day, but there it is, anyway.
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197. It folds flat.
Copy !req
198. So you can keep them
in your waistband.
Copy !req
199. Thank you.
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200. It's, you know...
Copy !req
201. something.
Copy !req
202. Face the screen, please.
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203. Is he your Friends And Family
allocation?
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204. Hand, please.
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205. That's not permanent, is it?
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206. No. Two months max.
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207. Round to the right,
and through the scanner.
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208. Where do we go now?
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209. You wait here.
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210. How long?
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211. So, what do we do?
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212. I don't know.
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213. Hey, hey, hey.
Fuck off.
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214. Her with the dark hair?
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215. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one.
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216. Yup. OK. Move.
Copy !req
217. They want to preview you.
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218. - What?
- Preview. Come on.
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219. - He's with me.
- Hand?
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220. Show me your hand.
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221. OK. You, too.
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222. That's not fair.
She's new. That's not fair.
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223. I don't pick the order.
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224. I've waited here all week,
and she's just walked in.
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225. Everyone will get seen eventually.
I don't pick the order.
Copy !req
226. But I'm a good singer.
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227. I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am.
Copy !req
228. - Stand aside.
- It's not fair!
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229. It's not fair!
Copy !req
230. - Next lot.
- Stand there.
Copy !req
231. Would you like to be as big as Salma
one day?
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232. Yeah, I mean...
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233. Could you say that
Copy !req
234. as a self-contained sentence
into that screen?
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235. I guess I'd like to be
as big as Salma one day.
Copy !req
236. OK. Proceed to stage area.
Copy !req
237. Are we done?
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238. - Both performing?
- Just her.
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239. - Okay... and what are you?
- Singer.
Copy !req
240. - Cuppliance?
- No, thanks.
Copy !req
241. A-ha. Yes, thanks!
It's compulsory for all contestants.
Copy !req
242. More to the point,
it'll stop you puking with nerves.
Copy !req
243. - She's got to perform.
- Well...
Copy !req
244. Look, just sip it, you'll be fine.
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245. Just a touch of light foam.
It'll pass.
Copy !req
246. Make the most of it.
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247. You can't get this stuff
anywhere else.
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248. You OK?
Yeah.
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249. You OK?
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250. Yeah. Just...
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251. I don't know. Things are just
wider apart. I'm fine.
Copy !req
252. - Really?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
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253. Right. You're on.
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254. A little closer, please.
Copy !req
255. Little closer.
Copy !req
256. Into the light, love.
Copy !req
257. - And who're we looking at here?
- Abi Khan.
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258. What are you going
to do for us today, Abi?
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259. I'm going to sing.
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260. You speak up, love.
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261. We don't bite.
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262. I'm going to sing.
Copy !req
263. Hey, would you mind
lifting up your top for me?
Copy !req
264. Can you take off your top?
Copy !req
265. I want to check out those titties.
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266. Come on. Mucho feranto.
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267. No titties?
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268. She says she's here to sing.
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269. I got to see
those titties, though.
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270. Come on, girl.
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271. I mean, damn!
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272. You hot.
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273. Please, just sing for us.
Copy !req
274. OK. I'm going to stop you there.
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275. That was...
Copy !req
276. without a doubt...
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277. probably the best piece of singing
we've had this season.
Copy !req
278. Yes! Well done!
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279. Fair play.
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280. But I have to say...
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281. No. No, no, no.
I have to say,
Copy !req
282. actually,
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283. I'm with Rafe on this one.
Copy !req
284. Good though your voice is...
and it is good.
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285. It's not the most magical sound
in the world.
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286. It's just... good.
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287. I don't think anyone's
really hearing it.
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288. Certainly not the guys
in the audience.
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289. These looks you got going on
kind of get in the way.
Copy !req
290. Men will want you.
Women will hate you.
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291. All the time you're on stage.
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292. Couldn't help picturing you.
Copy !req
293. In an erotic scenario.
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294. Getting pretty turned on,
if I'm honest.
Copy !req
295. Right.
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296. You've got this pure beauty
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297. What seems to be
a knockout figure.
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298. And this sort of interesting
innocence going on.
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299. That's something I think
Rafe's erotica channels
Copy !req
300. could really play with.
Copy !req
301. Absolutely. That's what I thought
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302. the moment I saw you.
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303. The moment.
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304. I'd watch. I don't know a man here
who wouldn't.
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305. To be honest,
some of us girls might join you.
Copy !req
306. Get off me!
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307. Don't! Abi!
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308. No! Abi! Abi!
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309. I don't think that's quite...
Copy !req
310. You will never have to pedal again.
Not one minute.
Copy !req
311. We could really work with you.
Copy !req
312. Last year we had
singers, singers, singers.
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313. So many singers.
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314. So, to be a singer you have to be
truly exceptional
Copy !req
315. There's just no slots left
for an above average singer.
Copy !req
316. Not for the next few years,
at least. Charity?
Copy !req
317. No. Saturation point, singer-wise.
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318. Listen. We said,
right from the start.
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319. We'll go with something
different this season.
Copy !req
320. That's why he's on the panel!
Copy !req
321. She would be a star on our stream.
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322. A star.
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323. On his...
Copy !req
324. You're furniture, at best.
Copy !req
325. Forget about all the shame,
and all that ppht-ppht-tew.
Copy !req
326. We medicate against that.
Copy !req
327. You will have pleasure forever.
Copy !req
328. Realistically, sweetheart,
it is that,
Copy !req
329. or the bike.
Copy !req
330. I, I don't think...
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331. This is starting to annoy me.
Copy !req
332. Who do you think is powering
that spotlight?
Copy !req
333. Millions of people. That's who.
Copy !req
334. All of them, out there, right now.
Copy !req
335. Putting in an honest day
on the bike,
Copy !req
336. while you stand in the light
they're generating
Copy !req
337. and dither.
Copy !req
338. You know what?
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339. They would give anything.
Do anything to be where you are now.
Copy !req
340. Am I right?
Copy !req
341. You want to cock a snook at all
that, as though it's nothing.
Copy !req
342. As though they're nothing.
Copy !req
343. And that makes me sick.
Copy !req
344. But, you know what?
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345. Maybe you do belong on the bike.
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346. Because you don't seem to be
very willing to step off it.
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347. I do want to.
Copy !req
348. We have a decision?
Copy !req
349. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Copy !req
350. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Copy !req
351. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Copy !req
352. I suppose.
Copy !req
353. Go on!
Copy !req
354. Well done!
Copy !req
355. Best thing about my new lifestyle...
Copy !req
356. I get to meet lots of hot guys.
Copy !req
357. Wraith treats me well.
Copy !req
358. For Christ's sake!
Copy !req
359. I pay for this!
Copy !req
360. I... pay... for... this!
Copy !req
361. I pump my arse off, and you...
Fuck you!
Copy !req
362. Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits.
Copy !req
363. Find your horizon
and fuck off over it!
Copy !req
364. 'It's a dream.
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365. 'I get to live...
Copy !req
366. 'in a...
Copy !req
367. 'beautiful place.
Copy !req
368. 'And...
Copy !req
369. 'wear lots of...
Copy !req
370. 'beautiful things.
Copy !req
371. 'It's a dream.'
Copy !req
372. Insufficient funds.
Copy !req
373. 'From Wraith Babes... '
Copy !req
374. 'C'mon, girl... '
Copy !req
375. '..a Wraith Babes reality special.'
Copy !req
376. I guess I'd like to be as big as
Thelma one day.
Copy !req
377. 'Millions watched her glide through
the Hot Shot curtain of dreams
Copy !req
378. 'to sing her heart out.'
Copy !req
379. 'What happened next
shocked them all.'
Copy !req
380. We could really work with you.
Copy !req
381. Do we have a decision?
Copy !req
382. 'Now, watch her
stunning erotic debut... '
Copy !req
383. No, no, no, no, no...
Copy !req
384. 'So, who do we have here?'
Copy !req
385. I'm Abby.
Copy !req
386. 'You were at Hot Shot.
Copy !req
387. 'You were real impressive.'
Copy !req
388. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
389. - No! No!
- Resume viewing!
Copy !req
390. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
391. Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
Copy !req
392. Resume viewing! Resume viewing!
Resume viewing!
Copy !req
393. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
394. 'Look at you.
Copy !req
395. 'All clean and shiny.'
Copy !req
396. Portal disabled
during commercial.
Copy !req
397. 'You'll see everything.
Copy !req
398. 'You'll see it all!
Copy !req
399. 'Open your mouth.
Copy !req
400. 'Open... take it in...
Copy !req
401. 'take it in... yeah...
Copy !req
402. No! No! No! No!
Copy !req
403. 'The hottest girls... '
Copy !req
404. Could you stand aside, please?
Copy !req
405. Come up into the back,
in front of me, please.
Copy !req
406. Are you messin'?
Copy !req
407. A what-nic one?
Copy !req
408. An eth-nic one!
Copy !req
409. On it.
Copy !req
410. We're going to preview, all right?
Want to follow me in the back?
Copy !req
411. You're a prick!
Copy !req
412. Next, lot.
Copy !req
413. Stand there!
Copy !req
414. So what are you, a magician?
Copy !req
415. An entertainer.
Copy !req
416. Could you say that down the screen
as a self-contained sentence?
Copy !req
417. I'm an entertainer.
Copy !req
418. Before you go on,
you need to drink a Cuppliance.
Copy !req
419. They give me one back there.
Really? OK.
Copy !req
420. Well, in that case,
you are good to...
Copy !req
421. go.
Copy !req
422. Who are you?
Copy !req
423. Bing Madsen.
Copy !req
424. What are you planning to do for us?
Copy !req
425. What the fuck?
Copy !req
426. 'A sort of performance.'
Copy !req
427. A sort of performance?
Copy !req
428. Yes.
Copy !req
429. Man of mystery!
Copy !req
430. I suppose we'd better see it.
Copy !req
431. OK.
Copy !req
432. Knob'ead!
Copy !req
433. Fucking cock!
Copy !req
434. Stop or I'll do it. This is a main
artery. Keep walking, you kill me.
Copy !req
435. No-one stops me till I've said my piece.
Then you can do what you like.
Copy !req
436. Man, just fucking kill yourself.
Copy !req
437. Get heavy on me, I swear to God,
I kick your ass back to life,
Copy !req
438. just so I could cut
your goddamn head off.
Copy !req
439. Go on!
Copy !req
440. I think we should let him speak.
Copy !req
441. - Speak!
- Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak!
Copy !req
442. Let's hear what he has to say.
Copy !req
443. Well?
Copy !req
444. Come on.
Copy !req
445. Got our attention, as requested.
Copy !req
446. What do you want to say?
Copy !req
447. Have you prepared a speech,
is that it?
Copy !req
448. Speak!
Copy !req
449. I haven't got a speech. I didn't
plan words. I didn't even try to...
Copy !req
450. I just knew I had to get here, to stand
here, and I wanted you to listen.
Copy !req
451. To really listen, not just pull
a face like you're listening,
Copy !req
452. like you do the rest of the time.
Copy !req
453. A face that you're feeling
instead of processing.
Copy !req
454. You pull a face, and poke it towards
the stage,
Copy !req
455. and we lah-di-dah,
we sing and dance and tumble around.
Copy !req
456. And all you see up here,
it's not people,
Copy !req
457. you don't see people up here,
it's all fodder.
Copy !req
458. And the faker the fodder,
the more you love it,
Copy !req
459. because fake fodder's the only
thing that works any more.
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460. It's all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
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461. Real pain, real viciousness,
that, we can take.
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462. Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
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463. We laugh ourselves feral,
because we've earned the right,
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464. we've done cell time
and he's slacking, the scum,
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465. so ha-ha-ha at him!
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466. Because we're so out of our minds
with desperation,
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467. we don't know any better.
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468. All we know is fake fodder
and buying shit.
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469. That's how we speak to each other,
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470. how we express ourselves,
is buying shit.
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471. What, I have a dream?
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472. The peak of our dreams is a new app
for our Dopple, it doesn't exist!
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473. It's not even there!
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474. We buy shit that's not even there.
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475. Show us something real and free
and beautiful. You couldn't.
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476. Yeah? It'd break us.
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477. We're too numb for it.
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478. I might as well choke.
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479. It's only so much wonder
we can bear.
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480. When you find any wonder whatsoever,
you dole it out in meagre portions.
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481. Only then until it's
augmented, packaged, and
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482. pumped through 10,000
preassigned filters
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483. till it's nothing more than
a meaningless series of lights,
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484. while we ride day in day out,
going where?
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485. Powering what?
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486. All tiny cells and tiny screens
and bigger cells
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487. and bigger screens and fuck you!
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488. Fuck you,
that's what it boils down to.
Copy !req
489. Fuck you for sitting there
and slowly making things worse.
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490. Fuck you and your spotlight
and your sanctimonious faces.
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491. Fuck you all for thinking
the one thing
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492. I came close to never meant
anything.
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493. For oozing around it and crushing it
into a bone, into a joke.
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494. One more ugly joke
in a kingdom of millions.
Copy !req
495. Fuck you for happening.
Copy !req
496. Fuck you for me, for us,
for everyone.
Copy !req
497. Fuck you!
Copy !req
498. That was, without a doubt,
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499. the most heartfelt thing
I've seen on this stage
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500. since Hotshot began!
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501. Brilliant!
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502. You...
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503. you're so articulating
something we all,
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504. and I mean everyone in this hall,
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505. something we all agree on.
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506. Even though we may not comprehend
all of it.
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507. I think I'm right in saying
we do feel it.
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508. Even me.
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509. I know you've got me down
as this creature.
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510. You know, hey...
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511. I get where you're coming from.
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512. - I like your stuff.
- It's not stuff.
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513. It's truth. Am I right?
Copy !req
514. Your truth, admittedly,
but truth nonetheless.
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515. And you're right.
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516. Authenticity is in woefully
short supply.
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517. I'd like to hear you talk again.
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518. How so?
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519. The slot on one of my streams
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520. where you can talk just like that.
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521. I'd watch it.
It was such great passion.
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522. He's a'right.
You're a little hot there, bud.
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523. That throat cutting thing?
Neat gimmick.
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524. What do you say?
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525. 30 minutes twice a week?
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526. - Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
527. Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
528. Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
529. Do it, do it, do it!
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530. Go on, you bastard.
Copy !req
531. - Do it, do it, do it!
- Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
532. Beats the bike.
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533. Certainly does.
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534. 'We have with us Oliver.
Oliver ate and ate
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535. 'till he hit 17 stone and he's here
today to try and beat us
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536. 'on Botherguts!
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537. 'Keep going.'
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538. OK, I'm going to stop you there.
That was achingly terrible.
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539. You have the magnetism of a towel. I
don't ever want to look at you again.
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540. I have to agree.
I'm so sorry, love.
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541. You came across as fundamentally
unlikeable
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542. and really quite worthless.
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543. You could fill that pussy with honey
and I still wouldn't fuck it.
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544. I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah.
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545. Cos this is my destiny
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546. and I can sing, fu...!
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547. 'Like that, don't you, Harry?
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548. 'Say it.
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549. 'Yeah.
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550. '15,000 new wardrobe options
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551. 'launched last week alone.
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552. 'It effectively translates as
15,000 new ways to kill time
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553. 'in your cell before you explore
an afterlife
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554. 'which doesn't exist anyway.
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555. 'With any luck, it'll take your mind
off those saddle sores?
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556. 'You know the only thing stopping me
from slashing myself open right now?
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557. 'I might not die right away.
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558. 'And before I went,
they'd find a way
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559. 'to charge my twitching
half-dead cadaver,
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560. '20,000 merits for swabbing
the walls clean.'
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561. - Yeah.
- Anyway,
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562. 'hang on in there
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563. if you must.
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564. 'We're all in this together
they say.
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565. 'Yeah, right.
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566. 'Farewell for ever.
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567. 'Till the same time next week.'
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568. Stream off-line.
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