1. New from Wraith Babes, the
hottest girls in nasty situations.
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2. Let's play Botherguts!
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3. Hey, come on!
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4. Three, two, one!
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5. Go! Whoo-hoo!
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6. Chuck her a bun!
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7. Not hungry? That's a first, hey?
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8. Come on!
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9. That'd hurt!
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10. Brilliant!
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11. Ah, fucking brilliant, that!
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12. Um, that one does that
sometimes. Hang on.
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13. There's a little knob in here somewhere.
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14. Almost the only real thing in there,
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15. and even that's grown in a Petri dish.
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16. Thank you.
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17. Hmm. Oh, ah.
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18. Hmm. Licking my pussy.
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19. Oh, for Christ's sake!
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20. Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut!
Cheers for the reflection!
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21. One minute I'm in slitsville,
the next there's a haunted pig
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22. gawping at me. They may as
well have cut to a war crime!
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23. Pie ape!
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24. You see that?
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25. Fucking pie ape!
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26. He'll be in lemon and all before long!
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27. Selma Telse.
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28. Howie Mandelbrot.
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29. Toy Soldiers.
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30. Each headlines their own content on
one of your eight daylight streams.
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31. But they started here, like you.
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32. Putting their back into
giving back for a brighter now.
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33. Each paying their dues like
you, hoping to become a hot shot.
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34. That wasn't good...
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35. that was beyond incredible!
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36. You decide the victors,
you control their fates,
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37. you make the call on Hot Shots.
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38. New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situations.
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39. So let's view it.
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40. Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
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41. Resume viewing.
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42. Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
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43. Resume viewing.
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44. Resume viewing. Resume viewing.
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45. Resume viewing.
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46. You are going to see it all.
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47. Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL.
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48. Hey, what else were you
planning to do with that hand?
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49. You lick my pussy, baby.
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50. Oh, I turn you on!
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51. Oh!'
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52. Hi, I'm Roxy, hello.
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53. Hi, I'm Evie.
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54. Didn't let him sign in.
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55. Told him to report to 22 down.
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56. Told ya!
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57. He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck!
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58. What do you think?
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59. It's a bit much.
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60. Yeah.
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61. 'Best thing about my new
lifestyle? Um, where do I start?
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62. I love choosing my own
clothes and I love gold.
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63. I feel like it really
expresses who I really am
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64. and I love looking over outside.
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65. It's so beautiful sometimes, I just
wish that everyone could see it.
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66. Oh, nice outfit
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67. Suits you.
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68. Well, honesty is ruthless so
I suppose it's just honesty...
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69. ruthless honesty.
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70. Drying my hands.
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71. Impressive.
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72. Have fun...
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73. I mean, on the...
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74. Hey, regular user!
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75. New from Wraith Babes, the hottest
girls in the nastiest situation.
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76. Select view...
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77. Dick.
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78. Detritus. Sorry.
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79. Come on!
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80. Wait. There's a knack to it.
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81. - You'll take your fingers off.
- Trust me.
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82. Smart.
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83. Bing Manson.
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84. Short for Bingham.
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85. Abi Carner.
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86. Short for Abi Carner.
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87. You're a new person. I've not seen you.
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88. I just went 21 last week.
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89. I wanted to go to Airdale
My sister's there, but...
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90. It's full, apparently.
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91. Proper fruit. It was worth the risk.
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92. The most natural thing in there's
probably grown in a Petri dish.
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93. Yeah.
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94. Quite good, though.
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95. Yeah. That's the right way round.
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96. When you get the cheap one, you
end up having to pedal it off.
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97. Then you want more sugar. Then
you're playing catch-up and I've...
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98. I've been there. It's a vicious circle.
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99. Can't you just use that CPT app?
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100. What's that?
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101. This cognitive behavioural thing.
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102. It realigns your thinking
to pick healthy food.
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103. Whispers you into it while you sleep.
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104. Yeah, I should try that, yeah.
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105. I liked your singing the other day.
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106. I was trying to sing so
no-one could hear me pee.
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107. I'm not Selma or anything.
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108. You've got a phenomenal voice.
It was the most beautiful song...
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109. Y... You think I'm being cheesy?
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110. All right, I am being cheesy.
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111. But it was beautiful, so, you know...
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112. Reality's cheesy sometimes.
Not often, admittedly, but...
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113. Now.
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114. Yeah...
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115. Well, thank you.
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116. It's just noises, though.
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117. Noises in the right order.
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118. Don't downplay... you're good.
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119. The song's good. It's old.
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120. My mum used to sing it and
she learnt it from her mum.
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121. A hand-me-down.
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122. You thought of trying out for Hot Shot?
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123. Me?
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124. Why not?
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125. Singing in front of Judge Hope?
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126. I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway
to the afterlife come the chorus.
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127. No, you'd walk it.
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128. A) I wouldn't.
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129. And B) ... I don't have that clockage.
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130. It's, what, 12 mil just to enter?
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131. What kind of bike time
is that? Six months?
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132. - Yeah, but...
- I'm hand to mouth.
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133. I know people save and
stuff to get onto that stage
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134. and then there's what Selma
did. But, you know what?
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135. - I'd rather not give myself...
- Yeah, but I'll gift it to you.
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136. The full 12, I'll gift it.
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137. Don't be ridiculous!
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138. Seriously, I've got it spare.
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139. You've got 12 mil spare?
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140. My brother left it me.
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141. Own a channel, does he?
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142. No, he...
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143. He died.
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144. He... He died last year,
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145. so it got transferred to me.
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146. Just over six months'
worth, but I've kept it.
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147. Why don't you spend it on you, then?
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148. And buy what? Some new
shoes for my doppel to wear?
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149. I don't know, upgrade your MOS...
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150. Or get a Fat Attack season pass?
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151. Buy one of those wall buddies.
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152. The new ones that talk to you after
shutting and solve your problems.
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153. They guide your dreams, like gurus.
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154. It's amazing, really, what they can do.
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155. A mirror plug-in? That shows me
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156. how I look as a werewolf?
What's the point?
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157. - I know it can be quite funny.
- It's all just stuff. It's...
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158. It's stuff, it's confetti, it's...
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159. You've got something real.
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160. What better to spend it on?
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161. You heard me singing in a toilet.
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162. Is that real?
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163. More than anything
that's happened all year.
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164. I can't take that kind
of clockage off someone.
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165. It's 12 mils, no way.
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166. Let me do this.
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167. I... I look around here, I just...
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168. I just want something real to happen.
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169. Just once.
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170. I'd mess up.
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171. You wouldn't. I don't care anyway.
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172. I'll go with you. I'll
be able to force you.
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173. I'll force you to go.
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174. It's tomorrow.
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175. Come on!
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176. Say yes.
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177. I'll go as far as to say, "OK."
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178. Which proves acceptable.
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179. Thank God for that.
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180. Walking away now.
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181. You loon!
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182. I can live with it!
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183. I'd love to fucking ruin that and all.
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184. What?
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185. 15?
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186. A flippin' joke...
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187. New from Wraith Babes.
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188. The hottest girls in
the nastiest situations.
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189. Oh, yeah! Ooh!
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190. Can't believe I'm doing this.
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191. I am doing this.
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192. I can't be doing this.
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193. Can you trade it back?
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194. The ticket?
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195. Don't be mad.
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196. It's a lot of pressure to
put someone under, you know.
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197. Don't think I'm not grateful.
But it's, it's just...
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198. You're babbling.
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199. I'm babbling.
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200. I made you this.
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201. You never get to keep them more
than a day, but there it is, anyway.
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202. It folds flat.
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203. So you can keep them in your waistband.
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204. Thank you.
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205. It's, you know...
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206. something.
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207. Face the screen, please.
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208. Is he your Friends
And Family allocation?
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209. Hand, please.
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210. Oh!
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211. That's not permanent, is it?
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212. Oh, no. Two months max.
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213. Round to the right,
and through the scanner.
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214. Where do we go now?
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215. You wait here.
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216. How long?
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217. So, what do we do?
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218. I don't know.
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219. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck off.
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220. Her with the dark hair?
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221. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one.
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222. Yup. OK. Move.
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223. They want to preview you.
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224. - What?
- Preview. Come on.
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225. - He's with me.
- Hand?
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226. Show me your hand.
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227. OK. You, too.
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228. That's not fair. She's
new. That's not fair.
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229. I don't pick the order.
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230. I've waited here all week,
and she's just walked in.
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231. Everyone will get seen
eventually. I don't pick the order.
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232. But I'm a good singer.
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233. I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am.
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234. - Stand aside.
- It's not fair!
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235. It's not fair!
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236. - Next lot.
- Stand there.
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237. Would you like to be
as big as Salma one day?
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238. Erm... Yeah, I mean...
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239. Could you say that
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240. as a self-contained
sentence into that screen?
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241. I guess I'd like to be
as big as Salma one day.
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242. OK. Proceed to stage area.
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243. Are we done?
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244. - Both performing?
- Just her.
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245. - Okay... and what are you?
- Singer.
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246. - Cuppliance?
- No, thanks.
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247. A-ha. Yes, thanks! It's
compulsory for all contestants.
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248. More to the point, it'll
stop you puking with nerves.
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249. - She's got to perform.
- Well, mmm
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250. Look, just sip it, you'll be fine.
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251. Just a touch of light foam. It'll pass.
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252. Make the most of it.
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253. You can't get this stuff anywhere else.
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254. You OK? Yeah.
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255. You OK?
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256. Yeah. Just, erm...
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257. I don't know. Things are
just wider apart. I'm fine.
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258. - Really?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
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259. Right. You're on.
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260. A little closer, please.
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261. Little closer.
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262. Into the light, love.
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263. - And who're we looking at here?
- Abi Khan.
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264. What are you going to
do for us today, Abi?
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265. I'm going to sing.
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266. You speak up, love.
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267. We don't bite.
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268. I'm going to sing.
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269. Hey, would you mind
lifting up your top for me?
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270. Can you take off your top?
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271. I want to check out those titties.
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272. Woo-hoo-hoo!
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273. Oh!
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274. Come on. Mucho feranto.
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275. Ah! No titties?
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276. She says she's here to sing.
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277. I got to see those titties, though.
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278. Come on, girl.
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279. I mean, damn!
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280. Heh-heh-heh.
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281. You hot.
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282. Please, just sing for us.
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283. OK. I'm going to stop you there.
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284. That was...
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285. without a doubt...
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286. probably the best piece of
singing we've had this season.
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287. Yes! Well done!
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288. Fair play.
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289. But I have to say...
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290. No. No, no, no. I have to say,
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291. actually,
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292. I'm with Rafe on this one.
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293. Good though your voice
is... and it is good.
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294. It's not the most magical
sound in the world.
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295. It's just... good.
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296. I don't think anyone's
really hearing it.
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297. Certainly not the guys in the audience.
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298. These looks you got going
on kind of get in the way.
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299. Men will want you. Women will hate you.
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300. All the time you're on stage.
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301. Couldn't help picturing you.
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302. In an erotic scenario.
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303. Getting pretty turned on, if I'm honest.
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304. Right.
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305. You've got this pure beauty
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306. What seems to be a knockout figure.
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307. And this sort of interesting
innocence going on.
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308. That's something I think
Rafe's erotica channels
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309. could really play with.
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310. Absolutely. That's what I thought
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311. the moment I saw you.
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312. The moment.
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313. I'd watch. I don't know
a man here who wouldn't.
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314. To be honest, some of
us girls might join you.
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315. Get off me!
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316. Don't! Abi!
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317. No! Abi! Abi!
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318. I don't think that's quite...
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319. You will never have to
pedal again. Not one minute.
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320. We could really work with you.
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321. Last year we had
singers, singers, singers.
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322. So many singers.
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323. So, to be a singer you
have to be truly exceptional
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324. There's just no slots left
for an above average singer.
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325. Not for the next few
years, at least. Charity?
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326. No. Saturation point, singer-wise.
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327. Listen. We said, right from the start.
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328. We'll go with something
different this season.
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329. That's why he's on the panel!
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330. She would be a star on our stream.
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331. A star.
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332. On his...
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333. You're furniture, at best.
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334. Forget about all the shame,
and all that ppht-ppht-tew.
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335. We medicate against that.
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336. You will have pleasure forever.
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337. Realistically, sweetheart, it is that,
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338. or the bike.
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339. I, I don't think...
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340. This is starting to annoy me.
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341. Who do you think is
powering that spotlight?
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342. Millions of people. That's who.
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343. All of them, out there, right now.
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344. Putting in an honest day on the bike,
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345. while you stand in the
light they're generating
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346. and dither.
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347. You know what?
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348. They would give anything. Do
anything to be where you are now.
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349. Am I right?
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350. You want to cock a snook at all
that, as though it's nothing.
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351. As though they're nothing.
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352. And that makes me sick.
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353. But, you know what?
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354. Maybe you do belong on the bike.
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355. Because you don't seem to be
very willing to step off it.
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356. I do want to.
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357. We have a decision?
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358. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
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359. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
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360. Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
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361. I suppose.
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362. Woo-hoo-hoo! Go on!
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363. Well done!
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364. BACKGROUND CONVERSATION
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365. Best thing about my new lifestyle...
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366. I get to meet lots of hot guys.
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367. Wraith treats me well.
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368. Oh, for Christ's sake!
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369. I pay for this!
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370. I... pay... for... this!
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371. I pump my arse off, and you... Fuck you!
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372. Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits.
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373. Find your horizon and fuck off over it!
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374. It's a dream.
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375. I get to live...
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376. in a...
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377. beautiful place.
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378. And...
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379. wear lots of...
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380. beautiful things.
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381. It's a dream.
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382. Insufficient funds.
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383. From Wraith Babes...
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384. C'mon, girl...
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385. a Wraith Babes reality special.
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386. I guess I'd like to be
as big as Thelma one day.
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387. Millions watched her glide through
the Hot Shot curtain of dreams
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388. to sing her heart out.
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389. What happened next shocked them all.
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390. We could really work with you.
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391. Do we have a decision?
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392. Now, watch her stunning erotic debut...
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393. No, no, no, no, no...
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394. So, who do we have here?
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395. I'm Abby.
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396. You were at Hot Shot.
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397. You were real impressive.
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398. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
399. - No! No!
- Resume viewing!
Copy !req
400. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
401. Resume viewing! Resume viewing!
Copy !req
402. Resume viewing! Resume
viewing! Resume viewing!
Copy !req
403. Resume viewing!
Copy !req
404. Look at you.
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405. All clean and shiny.
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406. Portal disabled during commercial.
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407. You'll see everything.
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408. You'll see it all!
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409. Open your mouth.
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410. Open... take it in...
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411. take it in... ahh... yeah...
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412. Aaarrghhh!
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413. No! No! No! No!
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414. The hottest girls...
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415. Could you stand aside, please?
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416. Come up into the back,
in front of me, please.
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417. Are you messin'?
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418. A what-nic one?
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419. Oh, an eth-nic one! Aah!
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420. On it.
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421. We're going to preview, all right?
Want to follow me in the back?
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422. You're a prick!
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423. Next, lot.
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424. Stand there!
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425. So what are you, a magician?
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426. An entertainer.
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427. Could you say that down the screen
as a self-contained sentence?
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428. I'm an entertainer.
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429. Ah, before you go on, you
need to drink a Cuppliance.
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430. They give me one back
there. Really? Oh, OK.
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431. Well, in that case, you are good to...
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432. go.
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433. Who are you?
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434. Bing Madsen.
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435. What are you planning to do for us?
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436. What the fuck?
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437. A sort of performance.
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438. A sort of performance?
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439. Yes.
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440. Mmm! Man of mystery!
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441. Hmm.
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442. I suppose we'd better see it.
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443. OK.
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444. Knob'ead!
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445. Fucking cock!
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446. Stop or I'll do it. This is a main
artery. Keep walking, you kill me.
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447. No-one stops me till I've said my
piece. Then you can do what you like.
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448. Man, just fucking kill yourself.
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449. Get heavy on me, I swear to God,
I kick your ass back to life,
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450. just so I could cut
your goddamn head off.
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451. Go on!
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452. I think we should let him speak.
Copy !req
453. Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak!
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454. Let's hear what he has to say.
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455. Well?
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456. Come on.
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457. Got our attention, as requested.
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458. What do you want to say?
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459. Have you prepared a speech, is that it?
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460. Speak!
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461. I haven't got a speech. I didn't
plan words. I didn't even try to...
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462. I just knew I had to get here,
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463. to stand here, and I
wanted you to listen.
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464. To really listen, not just pull
a face like you're listening,
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465. like you do the rest of the time.
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466. A face that you're feeling
instead of processing.
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467. You pull a face, and
poke it towards the stage,
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468. and we lah-di-dah, we sing
and dance and tumble around.
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469. And all you see up
here, it's not people,
Copy !req
470. you don't see people up
here, it's all fodder.
Copy !req
471. And the faker the fodder,
the more you love it,
Copy !req
472. because fake fodder's the
only thing that works any more.
Copy !req
473. It's all that we can stomach.
Actually, not quite all.
Copy !req
474. Real pain, real viciousness,
that, we can take.
Copy !req
475. Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole.
Copy !req
476. We laugh ourselves feral,
because we've earned the right,
Copy !req
477. we've done cell time and
he's slacking, the scum,
Copy !req
478. so ha-ha-ha at him!
Copy !req
479. Because we're so out of
our minds with desperation,
Copy !req
480. we don't know any better.
Copy !req
481. All we know is fake
fodder and buying shit.
Copy !req
482. That's how we speak to each other,
Copy !req
483. how we express
ourselves, is buying shit.
Copy !req
484. What, I have a dream?
Copy !req
485. The peak of our dreams is a new app
for our Dopple, it doesn't exist!
Copy !req
486. It's not even there!
Copy !req
487. We buy shit that's not even there.
Copy !req
488. Show us something real and free
and beautiful. You couldn't.
Copy !req
489. Yeah? It'd break us.
Copy !req
490. We're too numb for it.
Copy !req
491. I might as well choke.
Copy !req
492. It's only so much wonder we can bear.
Copy !req
493. When you find any wonder whatsoever,
Copy !req
494. you dole it out in meagre portions.
Copy !req
495. Only then until it's
augmented, packaged, and
Copy !req
496. pumped through 10,000
preassigned filters
Copy !req
497. till it's nothing more than a
meaningless series of lights,
Copy !req
498. while we ride day in
day out, going where?
Copy !req
499. Powering what?
Copy !req
500. All tiny cells and tiny
screens and bigger cells
Copy !req
501. and bigger screens and fuck you!
Copy !req
502. Fuck you, that's what it boils down to.
Copy !req
503. Fuck you for sitting there
and slowly making things worse.
Copy !req
504. Fuck you and your spotlight
and your sanctimonious faces.
Copy !req
505. Fuck you all for thinking the one thing
Copy !req
506. I came close to never meant anything.
Copy !req
507. For oozing around it and crushing
it into a bone, into a joke.
Copy !req
508. One more ugly joke in
a kingdom of millions.
Copy !req
509. Fuck you for happening.
Copy !req
510. Fuck you for me, for us, for everyone.
Copy !req
511. Fuck you!
Copy !req
512. That was, without a doubt,
Copy !req
513. the most heartfelt thing
I've seen on this stage
Copy !req
514. since Hotshot began!
Copy !req
515. Brilliant!
Copy !req
516. You...
Copy !req
517. you're so articulating something we all,
Copy !req
518. and I mean everyone in this hall,
Copy !req
519. something we all agree on.
Copy !req
520. Even though we may not
comprehend all of it.
Copy !req
521. I think I'm right in
saying we do feel it.
Copy !req
522. Even me.
Copy !req
523. I know you've got me
down as this creature.
Copy !req
524. You know, hey...
Copy !req
525. I get where you're coming from.
Copy !req
526. - I like your stuff.
- It's not stuff.
Copy !req
527. It's truth. Am I right?
Copy !req
528. Your truth, admittedly,
but truth nonetheless.
Copy !req
529. And you're right.
Copy !req
530. Authenticity is in
woefully short supply.
Copy !req
531. I'd like to hear you talk again.
Copy !req
532. How so?
Copy !req
533. The slot on one of my streams
Copy !req
534. where you can talk just like that.
Copy !req
535. I'd watch it. It was such great passion.
Copy !req
536. He's a'right. You're a
little hot there, bud.
Copy !req
537. That throat cutting thing? Neat gimmick.
Copy !req
538. What do you say?
Copy !req
539. 30 minutes twice a week?
Copy !req
540. Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
541. Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
542. Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
543. Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
544. Go on, you bastard.
Copy !req
545. Do it, do it, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
Copy !req
546. Beats the bike.
Copy !req
547. Certainly does.
Copy !req
548. We have with us Oliver.
Oliver ate and ate
Copy !req
549. till he hit 17 stone and he's
here today to try and beat us
Copy !req
550. on Botherguts!
Copy !req
551. Keep going.
Copy !req
552. OK, I'm going to stop you there.
That was achingly terrible.
Copy !req
553. You have the magnetism of a towel.
Copy !req
554. I don't ever want to look at you again.
Copy !req
555. I have to agree. I'm so sorry, love.
Copy !req
556. You came across as
fundamentally unlikeable
Copy !req
557. and really quite worthless.
Copy !req
558. You could fill that pussy with
honey and I still wouldn't fuck it.
Copy !req
559. I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah.
Copy !req
560. 'Cos this is my destiny
Copy !req
561. and I can sing, fu... !
Copy !req
562. Like that, don't you, Harry?
Copy !req
563. Ah-huh.
Copy !req
564. Say it.
Copy !req
565. Yeah.
Copy !req
566. 15,000 new wardrobe options
Copy !req
567. launched last week alone.
Copy !req
568. It effectively translates as
15,000 new ways to kill time
Copy !req
569. in your cell before
you explore an afterlife
Copy !req
570. which doesn't exist anyway.
Copy !req
571. With any luck, it'll take your
mind off those saddle sores, eh?
Copy !req
572. You know the only thing stopping me
Copy !req
573. from slashing myself open right now?
Copy !req
574. I might not die right away.
Copy !req
575. And before I went, they'd find a way
Copy !req
576. to charge my twitching
half-dead cadaver,
Copy !req
577. 20,000 merits for
swabbing the walls clean.
Copy !req
578. - Yeah.
- Anyway,
Copy !req
579. hang on in there
Copy !req
580. if you must.
Copy !req
581. We're all in this together they say.
Copy !req
582. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
583. Farewell for ever.
Copy !req
584. Till the same time next week.
Copy !req
585. Stream off-line.
Copy !req