1. That's what I'm sayin'.
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2. I'd do me, I know
I'd fuck it up.
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3. Fuck, so it's —
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4. Damn!
Damn, Boon.
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5. You hit that mud dead, smack in
the center like a bull's-eye.
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6. Or better yet, bullshit,
but either way, good shot.
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7. Yeah, man, no thanks
to you, man.
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8. You're supposed to guard
a nigga's steps.
Me?
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9. What do I go to do with where
you plant your kicks at, Boon?
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10. Come on, man. Jesus, you're Jesus.
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11. You could easily give
a nigga a heads up.
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12. I know you got divine ability
to see some bull like this
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13. before I step in
some bull like this!
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14. Sorry, brah.
I'm just wore out, man.
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15. You know, some days being Jesus
takes a toll on your boy.
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16. It's gettin' hard out here, man.
Folks are always in your ear.
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17. They want to come up, and it's
kickin' my ass, dude, and...
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18. You kickin' them laces' asses,
too, dawg.
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19. Oh, yeah, you think
this is funny, right?
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20. I hope that —
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21. No, I pray this happens
to you someday!
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22. Man, that's fucked up, Boon.
You know I don't wear no socks.
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23. Think of what
that'll do to my feet.
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24. Man, get your ass
out of here.
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25. Boonie.
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26. Boonie!
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27. Boonie!
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28. What?
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29. You two for two, dawg!
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30. Oh, damn!
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31. Even when you try to tell 'em,
folks don't wanna hear the word.
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32. Laughter is one of Pops'
greatest gifts, Boon.
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33. Laugh a little bit. Whatever, man.
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34. You're Jesus.
You don't get it.
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35. See, you never really
get hurt or...
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36. Shit, that crucifixion shit
hurt like a motherfucker.
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37. You're crazy.
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38. Heh. Hey.
I'm just sayin', man,
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39. if I had your powers,
I'd be so straight.
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40. So, you think
what I do is easy?
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41. Pulling weeds
in the Garden of Eden?
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42. Fluffin' angels' wings?
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43. Who you think carved out
the stone tablets
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44. before Moses got
his hands on 'em?
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45. Or — Or who you think
mopped up that flood?
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46. Mexicans, right?
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47. I'm serious, Boon!
Stop playin', man!
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48. I'm telling you, y'all humans
is straight drama, dawg.
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49. This ain't easy, Boon.
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50. Well, how hard can it be?
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51. Blam! You're healed.
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52. Blam! Extra wine.
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53. Blam! Your pet ostrich
got a female vagina.
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54. Oh, so you think
you can do better?
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55. Pfft!
With my eyes closed.
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56. Tsk.
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57. Pops, please
forgive Boonie
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58. for he know not
what he talkin' about.
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59. Well, let him have it one time
so we can show him.
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60. Please, Lord, please.
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61. Let me have that day off
and give this dude
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62. this lesson he so very
badly needs, Lord.
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63. Can he have it?
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64. For real?
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65. Thanks, Pops!
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66. Yep. Pops say it's cool.
He got your back.
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67. Bam! You got my power.
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68. What the fuck?
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69. Oh!
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70. I got the J.C. perm!
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71. Hey, do this thing
need any chemicals
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72. for upkeep or for
anything like that?
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73. Nope. Just an
occasional hot comb.
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74. But you got the power,
though, pimp. Ha-ha!
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75. Hey, well,
can I do a miracle?
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76. How about levitation? No.
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77. No levitating, Boon.
That's too advanced.
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78. You gotta
slow down, pimp.
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79. Oh, man. See, I knew
you wasn't serious.
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80. Man, I ain't gonna give you
nothing that you can't handle.
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81. Matter of fact,
go ahead and levitate.
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82. Just go on —
concentrate, brah.
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83. Boon.
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84. Is you tryin' to float
or take a shit, man?
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85. Relax, brah!
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86. Alright.
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87. Oh, yeah! Oh, whoa!
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88. Baby, you not just beautiful,
you Viagra-ful!
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89. Ah, ha ha ha!
Yeah! I love it!
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90. No, no, no,
that's a negative!
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91. No carnal lustin'
for you, bro.
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92. No, I don't wanna go!
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93. No! Oh, God.
Oh, man. Nah, Boon.
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94. We gotta limit
your powers, brah.
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95. That bitch was thick.
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96. No levitation.
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97. Oh, well, hey,
can I just —
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98. No walking on water!
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99. Oh, sh— Well,
at least they clean.
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100. I got a couple of guidelines
to rundown to you, too, Boon.
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101. Do not raise the dead.
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102. Please, no raising
the dead, brah.
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103. You mess that up — you have
a zombie apocalypse in the city.
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104. And no smiting
and no plagues.
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105. Leave all the vengeance
to pops, a'ight?
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106. It's mine,
so sayeth the Lord.
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107. Also, one more very
important thing, Boon —
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108. no sex with Rihanna.
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109. Aw, man! Can a brother
have a dream?
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110. No! 'Cause I know for a fact
she ain't fucking with you!
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111. A'ight.
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112. Fuck it.
It's off the list.
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113. A'ight.
Enjoy your day, pimp.
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114. Oh! And since
I can't give you
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115. me and Pops' special
father-son psychic connection,
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116. he told me to tell you to make
sure you keep your phone on you
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117. so he can get ahold of you
if he needs you, a'ight?
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118. Oh, man! I ain't had
no service in weeks!
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119. And even if I did,
I don't know where it's at.
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120. Don't even trip, pimp.
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121. You know Pops works
in mysterious ways.
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122. Where did
Boonie's broke ass
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123. get the money to turn
this phone back on?
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124. Alright, Boons,
you've got the power.
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125. Let's do this.
Alright.
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126. God!
Pops! Ha!
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127. Whatever! Ha!
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128. Your boy right here Boonie.
I'm gonna request — ha!
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129. I pray — ha!
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130. I wish — ha!
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131. For some money!
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132. Goddamn it,
right now, God!
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133. Yeah.
Oh, this is bomb!
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134. Bring it to Boonie.
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135. Miss Calle Reynolds?
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136. Yes?
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137. You just won
the jumbo-supreme sweepstakes
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138. grand prize
of $10 million!
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139. This is
bullshit! God—
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140. Thank you, Jesus!
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141. My check!
My check!
My check!
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142. Fuck that!
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143. Good job, Boonie!
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144. Way to boss
their life up, pimp!
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145. Man, you ain't had to
give 'em all that money.
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146. They would've happy with some
beans and horchata juice.
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147. One second.
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148. Holy Jesus!
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149. What's poppin', Lloyd?
W-W-What's happening?
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150. Well, I never seen the Lord,
my God, buck naked before!
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151. Lloyd, only those with the stain
of sin feel embarrassment
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152. and shame at the sight
of what God has created
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153. to be a state
of natural perfection.
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154. Well, whatever.
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155. I came by
to pray for a favor.
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156. Uh...
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157. That's a negative, Lloyd.
We talked about this already.
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158. I can't make you a drunk again.
I got some stuff to do.
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159. No, no, no, no, no! You're
supposed to answer prayers.
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160. I'm praying for you
to help me fix my water pipe.
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161. Pray to Boonie.
Who?
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162. Boonie.
Pray to Boonie.
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163. Boonie? Yeah, pray to Boonie.
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164. I gave him my powers so he can
learn a little responsibility.
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165. You know, just let the boy
do something a little different.
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166. Must be a trick to it.
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167. Maybe if I don't ask for money,
but something more personal.
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168. Yeah! Hey, God!
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169. Hey, what I really want
is a dope-ass —
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170. Oh. Forgive me for saying "ass,"
heavenly father, but...
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171. if — if I could
really sing...
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172. You made me sober and gave
that fool some holy powers?
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173. Oh! Shit! I wanna —
I wanna fly!
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174. Look at it!
Put some drawers on.
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175. Oh.
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176. Damn, I can sing!
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177. You know, I've always
wanted to sing.
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178. Don't think that this gonna
take the place of me
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179. not getting lit off
a bottle of Darby.
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180. Don't work that way.
Thanks for nothing.
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181. Black Jesus:
Don't thank me
for nothing.
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182. Thank Boonie.
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183. Jesus.
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184. Boonie! Thank you.
Love the hair.
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185. Oh, that sounds good.
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186. How do you
control this?
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187. You said you can
do a better job.
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188. Go on,
handle that there, pimp.
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189. Hey!
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190. You go to Hell.
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191. Man, seems like the trick
is to get away
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192. from other greedy
motherfuckers.
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193. Now, listen, we gonna
get our wires crossed.
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194. Yeah, that's what's up.
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195. Okay, God, I see
what's happening.
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196. I'm wishing for too much
material stuff, right?
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197. I feel you.
I feel you.
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198. A'ight, let's
keep it 100, God.
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199. What I want is
that one-true love.
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200. You know, that
"Superbad video" woman.
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201. That special lady!
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202. Boon!
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203. Oh, my God.
Well, that didn't work.
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204. What ain't working
is this situation.
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205. Where you get
fucking money
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206. to get your phone
turned back on?
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207. I didn't!
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208. Why you got on that ratchet-ass,
1975 Isley Brothers,
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209. "Fight the Power
That Be" weave?
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210. I don't!
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211. And why you buy Boonlinka
a PlayStation
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212. and a 50-inch-screen TV?
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213. It don't make
no damn sense.
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214. She plays with
doll babies, Boonie.
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215. See, I wouldn't
buy her that.
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216. That was for me!
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217. So, not only are you
not paying child support,
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218. you runnin' illegal scams
to buy stuff for yourself?
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219. Hey, look, I'm not doing
nothing like that.
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220. It's just Jesus hooked me
up with his powers, Link.
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221. All that stuff
was miracles.
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222. It's just, every time
I wish for something,
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223. it goes
to somebody else.
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224. Matter of fact,
how did you even find me?
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225. I don't know how I found you
in my life fucking period.
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226. See? That was kind of fucked
up divine intervention.
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227. I ain't
lookin' for your ass!
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228. And take off this
fake-ass weave!
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229. Feel it.
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230. I'm feeling this shit.
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231. Oh, my God.
It is like real hair.
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232. The thing that's
trippin' me out
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233. is it growin' out your
natural, black-ass head.
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234. I told you!
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235. Last time I felt hair
this smooth it was
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236. when I was messing
with this Japanese dude.
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237. His shit
real smooth and silky.
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238. You didn't fuck to get
no orange chicken, did you?
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239. No, I ain't fucked
to get no orange chicken.
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240. I fucked
to get child support!
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241. So, don't worry about it.
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242. I gotta go
find Jesus
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243. so I can tell him
to take these powers back
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244. before you
do something stupid,
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245. like give Stevie Wonder
his sight back.
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246. Stevie don't want
to see this shit!
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247. He been doin' just fine
with his eyes closed.
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248. Look, Link! Link!
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249. No, you can't have
a pony, little boy.
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250. What was that?
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251. Teach you
how to drive a stick?
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252. These prayer requests
gettin' on my nerve.
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253. Dude, your wife
already know!
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254. Man, I've got to get —
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255. Boy, I've got to get
out of here...
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256. That is him.
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257. Alright. Alright. Yeah.
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258. Come on. Let's do this.
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259. Jesus!
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260. You did done
some stupid shit now.
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261. But givin' Boonie
any kind of power
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262. beyond havin' his own house key
is trouble waiting to happen,
Copy !req
263. and I can tell you
that right now.
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264. Boonie needed to learn
that being the son of God
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265. ain't all fun and games,
you know what I'm talkin' about?
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266. It's hard for Boonie
to learn anything.
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267. Whatcha — You all dressed up?
I see you got on new robes.
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268. What is this?
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269. You look like you tryin'
to take a skip day.
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270. Even Pops took the seventh
day off to rest.
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271. Jesus, it's Wednesday.
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272. How are you Jesus
and don't even know
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273. how many days
of the week it is?
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274. Look, Link, I just want
a day for myself.
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275. Can I chill?
Can I do me one time?
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276. No prayers, no laying
of hands, no miracles.
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277. But you can't do that.
You're the son of God.
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278. Uh... yeah.
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279. But, uh, if you'll
excuse me, Shalinka.
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280. Oswaldo?
What's happening, pimp?
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281. Oh, Okay! I see!
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282. Alright,
I see what is now.
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283. A cab rollin' through
picking your black ass up!
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284. In Compton?
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285. I thought we weren't
doing no miracles, Jesus!
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286. Will it ever stop?
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287. Hello?
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288. No, I'm filling in
for him.
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289. Uh-huh. Yeah.
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290. Hey, well, if you ain't
got insurance, you're
screwed. Oh, really?
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291. Well, you can't fuck me
'cause I'm a divine being.
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292. Hey, man, the morning-after pill
don't work the weekend after.
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293. Enjoy your new family.
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294. Hello? Hey, well, me, myself, I
prefer lambskin,
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295. but don't take ginseng
'cause it'll seep through.
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296. Hel— Man, that nigga's show
been sold out for weeks, man!
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297. No! Even God
couldn't get tickets.
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298. Come on, man! Let me go!
I didn't do nothing, man!
Copy !req
299. Hey! Yeah, I
loved Prince, too, man,
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300. but I can't raise him
from the dead.
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301. Maybe if
he was't cremated.
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302. These motherfuckers will
leave me the fuck alone!
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303. Goddamn.
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304. There you go.
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305. Not gonna arrest me?
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306. No. We just decided
to leave you the fuck alone.
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307. Can't explain it,
but that's what's up.
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308. You want a beer?Hell, no. Fuck.
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309. Beer's on the house.
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310. This is just ridiculous.
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311. Man, they ain't never
let me go like that.
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312. Yeah. There go
that chunky... Either I owe them
some money
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313. or them yoga bitches
sent the toenail mob after me.
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314. I'm not sticking
around here, goddamn it.
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315. Hey, come on, man.
That's him. Hey!
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316. Come on, come on.
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317. Welcome, Jesus.
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318. Young Lil:
Jesus.
Young Lil!
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319. Oh, I know that ain't
my Lord and savior, Jesus!
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320. What's happening', pimp,
Young Lil? Oh! Ha ha! What up, boy?
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321. Oh! It's been
a minute, man.
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322. Yes, it has.
You're lookin' good!
Copy !req
323. Hey, man, I appreciate —
thank you. Thanks.
Copy !req
324. Hey, look,
you see the crib?
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325. You see how I'm
livin' now, right?
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326. Yeah, man, this is fly.
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327. Oh, man. You know
what you should call it?What?
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328. "Heavenly Estates."
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329. Ah! Now, see, you just
blessed me again!
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330. Oh! Yo, come on.
Come inside, man.
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331. I got Jesus
in the house, y'all!
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332. This is
player paradise.
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333. And that rug, though.
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334. I got that from Chile.
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335. When you
go down there, pimp?
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336. No, no, no, not from
South America.
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337. From TLC.
Oh, oh.
She's so pretty!
Copy !req
338. And in great shape.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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339. I-I knew you —
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340. I knew you
was gonna do that!
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341. I knew you
was gonna do that!
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342. Man, that's a baller-ass
portrait of your boy, man!
Copy !req
343. I'm so flattered, man.
Thank you!
Copy !req
344. You know I'm your
biggest fan, right?
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345. Brah, brah.
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346. And I know you got one of the
biggest portraits out here, man.
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347. You know
what I'm talkin' about?
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348. And this crib!
Oh, my God, man!
Copy !req
349. This crib make
the Garden of Eden
Copy !req
350. look like a little
old flower bed.
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351. S-Seriously?
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352. No, I'm just kidding.
Copy !req
353. You know the Garden
of Eden is dope!
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354. You ain't ever been there, brah?
I'm talking about —
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355. Man, there's
nooks and crannies
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356. I ain't even seen up
in that joint.
Really?
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357. Pops hooked that up.
It's fly, man.
Really?
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358. You know,
but let it be known
Copy !req
359. that my boy Tyrone Bentley Davis
aka Young Lil
Copy !req
360. got one of the flyest cribs
in the land, pimp!
Copy !req
361. All because of you
and your pops, man.
Copy !req
362. Hey. You blessed.I prayed for this.
Copy !req
363. I prayed for this —
all of this!
Copy !req
364. I prayed.
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365. Hold up, wait,
wait, wait.
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366. What's up, party people?
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367. Jesus!
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368. Ah-ha-ha-ha!
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369. What up, boy?
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370. What's up, man?
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371. Yeah, man.
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372. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get a haircut, boy.
Copy !req
373. Hey, Young Lil,
you know
Copy !req
374. I'm lovin'
all this love, right?
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375. Hey! Hey!
Stop! Hey!
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376. - Where you goin'?
- Hold up.
Copy !req
377. Hey, stop! Come here!
Hey! Come here!
Copy !req
378. It is not
this nigga's birthday!
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379. It ain't his birthday.
What the hell are you doing?
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380. I'm chillin'
with my loved ones
Copy !req
381. and kinfolk,
you know what I'm sayin'?
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382. Enjoyin' my day off! That's right!
Copy !req
383. Hey, why don't you
have some sangria?
Copy !req
384. Hey, Quan,
let her smoke yours.
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385. Jesus, I ain't come here
for this shit,
Copy !req
386. but I will
save this for later.
Copy !req
387. It look like that good,
so I will save it for later.
Copy !req
388. But, Jesus, giving Boonie
heavenly powers
Copy !req
389. is like giving a damn a racist
some white sheets to make a bed.
Copy !req
390. That ain't ever gonna
work out the way you expect.
Copy !req
391. It's all good. We
got this handled,
you know what I mean?
Copy !req
392. And besides,
how you find me anyway?
Copy !req
393. You in my heart for one,
but it's everywhere!
Copy !req
394. How you this out of
touch and you Jesus?
Copy !req
395. It's on Instragram, Snapchat,
BlackPlanet, Facebook.
Copy !req
396. My grandmama even
saw it on Myspace.
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397. Look, I don't care
what you say,
Copy !req
398. there's too much going on
for you to be out here partying!
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399. "Go Jesus, it's
your birthday". Really?
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400. Shalinka,
you really tripping.
Copy !req
401. I got this. You see me?
I'm lookin' fly. My hair's whip.
Copy !req
402. I'm dancin', I'm chillin',
I'm spreadin' love.
Copy !req
403. I'm sure if Pops thought
I was out of control,
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404. he would've let me know. Yeah, man.
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405. You want me kickin' it?
Can I kick it?Yeah!
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406. Alright, Pops.
I got you. I'm on my way.
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407. God! That shit
is amazing!
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408. Yeah, that — that —
that might be a sign.
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409. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
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410. Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's go
and pack this shit up.
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411. Um... yeah, everybody,
y'all can go home.
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412. Hey, why you runnin'?
Why you — Why you runnin'?
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413. That's right. Door's gonna keep
closin' in your life, fool.
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414. What? Aw.
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415. Yeah.
Man, why you trippin'?
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416. What's up?
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417. What you 'posed to be?
Fillin' in for Jesus?
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418. No, I'm — No, fuck that.
Don't lie, motherfucker.
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419. We went to the park,
and we waited on you.
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420. Mm-hmm.
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421. Hey, Jesus!
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422. I don't want this
burden no more!
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423. Please!
Come help your boy!
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424. That's my boy.
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425. There you go.
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426. Jesus.
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427. My savior!
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428. Whoa, bro!
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429. What's happenin',
young pimps?
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430. Fuck these niggas up.
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431. No, Boon.
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432. It ain't even
like that, dawg.
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433. Look, man, these dudes
are just some young men
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434. I meet at the park
once a month
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435. to offer some game
and some guidance.
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436. A lot of them ain't
never had no real,
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437. solid role models
in their life, man.
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438. They're just lookin'
for some love.
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439. Love?
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440. Nigga, I almost pissed
on myself out here, boy.
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441. Come on, dawg.
You can do it. Just —
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442. Just — Just lift
your arms up, man,
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443. and let Pops' love
fill your heart.
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444. Come on!
Come on, hold 'em up!
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445. You feel that?I feel something.
It's kinda warm.
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446. That's God's love
filling your body inside.
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447. Now spread that shit.
This is Tiny Baseball.
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448. Tiny Baseball,
this is Boonie.
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449. What's up, cuz?
What's up, man?
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450. Show me some love, man. Yeah, man.
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451. Thank you,
fake-ass son of God.
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452. Praise your
fake-ass name.
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453. Hey, man...
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454. Kinda cool showin' these little
bastards some love.
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455. You all right, boy?
Come here.
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456. Give me
some love, boy.
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457. Your ass gonna get your brains
blew out next week, probs.
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458. You all right, boy?
You look bitty, boy.
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459. I knew you was gonna
enjoy the game.
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460. You needed some backup.
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461. What up, boy? Hug that out!
I feel you, boy.
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462. That's a grown-man afro
you got right there.
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463. Yeah, this
is cool, Jesus.
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464. Best part
of the job, Boon.
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465. Best part
of the job.
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