1. Hey, Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd.
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2. Hey, good morning, Lloyd.
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3. Hey, I got to holler
at you real quick, man.
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4. I got some good news, Lloyd.
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5. There you go again
about the good news.
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6. Then you start talking
about loving God and redemption.
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7. It's just not that good.
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8. A new car's good news.
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9. A yacht, mansion, servants,
Darby.
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10. Give me some of
that free Darby.No, no, no.
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11. Look though, I got a message
for you from Pops
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12. and it's this, man:
love yourself.
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13. Take care of yourself
and treat yourself right, Lloyd.
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14. Get healthy, man,
and the world is yours, man.
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15. You got a whole lot
of good shit headed your way.
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16. Too vague!
Get out my face.
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17. Oh, don't worry about it, Lloyd.
I'll clean that up for you, man.
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18. Go and get that shit
Pops got for you!
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19. "Looking for the next Darby man.
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20. "Auditions in Los Angeles.
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21. Free Darby." Ooh. Jose,
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22. come here, come
here. Is this real? Yeah, man.
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23. Some big-shot advertising guys
dropped those off.
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24. They're looking
all over the hood.
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25. You know,
you should try out.
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26. Said they're looking
for someone authentic.
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27. Oh, also,
they said they're giving away
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28. free Darby. Really?
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29. Free Darby.
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30. Hey, Jesus.
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31. Jesus!
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32. Jesus.
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33. Jesus!
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34. What's up, Lloyd?
What is it, man?
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35. Jesus, all my life
you never done shit for me.
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36. But I'm gonna
give you a chance
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37. to make it up to me.
I'm going to this audition.
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38. I want that part.
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39. Okay, I see. So, uh,
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40. when I was trying to talk
to you earlier about, uh,
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41. your-your greater potential, you
know, it was too vague for you.
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42. But it ain't as vague
as it was now, huh?I'll admit
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43. that timing's too much
to be a coincidence.
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44. Okay. If me and the old man get
you this job, you got to promise
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45. to make some important changes
in your life and promise to take
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46. better care
of yourself, Lloyd. Done.
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47. I swear
to the great God of heaven,
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48. and I swear in your name.
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49. All I need is one prayer,
that's all.
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50. Come on in, Lloyd. Come on.
Bring it on in.
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51. Dear heavenly Father,
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52. we ask that you give Lloyd
your blessings as he pursues
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53. his dreams to be
a paid alcohol...
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54. be a paid alcoholic beverage
spokesperson, Lord.
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55. And let this be
the first step of many
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56. towards a better life
and a better lifestyle
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57. for Lloyd, Lord. Thank you.
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58. And in my holy and magnificent
name we pray, Lord. Amen.
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59. Amen.
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60. Mmm, that was good, huh?
Want some bread? That was good.
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61. Yeah. Thank you.
You know, Jesus,
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62. we've had our differences.
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63. But I never will forget this.
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64. Th-That's a big-ass piece
of bread, Lloyd. I could feed
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65. a lot of people
with that.I'm sorry.
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66. You know what, I love you, man.
All right.
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67. God bless you.
You gonna get your money.
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68. Thank you, Jesus!I love to see black folks
get money.
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69. Jesus Christ!
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70. Hallelujah!
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71. I'm here for
the free Darby
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72. and the audition.
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73. Okay.
Right here. Okay.
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74. Okay. Right here.
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75. And here we have
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76. Ll-Lloyd.
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77. That's right. Okay.
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78. Hi, Lloyd. How are you?Fine.
Thank you.
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79. Great. Thank you so much
for coming down here.
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80. What we're trying to do is put
a face on the J. Darby brand
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81. that really embodies the
people who drink J. Darby.
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82. So we're thinking older,
we're thinking mostly men,
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83. mostly
African-Americans,
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84. mostly... divorced,
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85. mostly unemployed or
underemployed, mostly...
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86. What's the word I'm looking for?
Not alcoholic— 'cause we don't
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87. encourage
that— but...
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88. desperate.
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89. I'm your man!
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90. So, all I need you
to do
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91. is just take this bottleUh-huh.
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92. of J. Darby,
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93. look at the camera,
and just say, "Darby."
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94. I also need you
to put this ascot on. Okay.
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95. Okay.
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96. Yeah, that's good.
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97. It's good.
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98. Here you go.
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99. Into the camera and "Darby."
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100. Darby!
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101. Damn. What do you guys
think? Yeah.
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102. Darby!
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103. Darby!
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104. Lloyd!
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105. I know you hear
the phone ringing!
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106. Come answer the phone, man!
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107. "Answer the phone,
answer the phone."
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108. Hello?
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109. Speaking.
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110. Really?
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111. This is great news!
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112. What? Oh, man, I'm so happy.
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113. Yes, yes, yes. Just hold on.
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114. "J... Darbyman...
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115. dot... com."
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116. Yes, thank you so much. Yes.
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117. I'm free. Call me anytime.
Call me.
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118. Yes. Thank you.
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119. I got the job!
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120. What job?
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121. I'm the spokesman for Darby! What?
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122. I went to an audition
and got the job.
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123. They gonna pay youto do that?
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124. Yes. And all the Darby
I can drink. Ooh!
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125. It's a miracle!
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126. Jesus made it happen.
That nigga came through.
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127. The real Jesus
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128. or the neighborhood con man
Jesus?
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129. There's only one Jesus, Vic.
And for the first time ever,
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130. I asked for some shit
and it actually happened. Look, Lloyd,
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131. your con man
didn't make nothin' happen,
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132. all right? That was
just an amazing stroke of luck.
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133. But you better be careful, man.
You don't do this exactly right,
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134. they gonna rip your ass off.
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135. All I care about is
the free Darby.
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136. Lloyd, this is real serious,
man. We're talking
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137. serious money.
Serious fame.
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138. Those sleazy
Hollywood types,
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139. they all the same.
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140. What you need is some help.
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141. Maybe I should go call Jesus.
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142. You don't need Jesus. You need
what they call representation.
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143. And that's why I'm gonna
step up, be your manager.
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144. Whatever. I'm gonna get drunk
and celebrate.
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145. Yeah, go get drunk.
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146. Drink the whole
barrel. Get drunk.
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147. Get drunk, Lloyd.
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148. Drink till your lips turn pink.
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149. Lloyd! Hey, Vic! What's
happening, dawg?
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150. What's this nigga doin' here?Well,
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151. you must understand that I
have accepted Jesus in my life.
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152. I'm a follower
and a humble servant.
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153. Okay, that's cool. But like
I said, what's this nigga
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154. doin' here?Well, I invited Jesus so
he could give us divine support.
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155. Aw, quit hatin', Vic.
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156. Ain't nobody come to
get in the way, dawg.
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157. Me and Pops, we proud
of the boy. He came up! Lloyd,
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158. this nigga's just tryin'
to get your money, man,
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159. get in them pockets.
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160. Man, don't nobody want
this dude bread.
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161. Pops gave him
the bread.
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162. Look here, man,
in exchange
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163. for the fame and the
fortune, Lloyd gonna get
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164. his life together,
and everybody wins.
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165. He doing it right now!
Look, he winnin', he winnin'!
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166. He wanna win! Lloyd's gonna get
his life together?
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167. Nigga, that's the stupidest shit
I ever heard.
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168. Look, Lloyd, as your manager,
I got to recommend... Lloyd!
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169. Tim! Good to see you,
buddy.
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170. I'm so glad
we could make this happen.
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171. Yes! Let me
introduce you to...
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172. my Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ.
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173. Awesome, man. Yeah, my name
is Vic, man.
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174. You met me on the phone.
I'm Lloyd's manager. Oh, yeah,
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175. yeah, yeah, of course.
How are you?
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176. Lloyd, I thought you'd want
to be one of the first
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177. to try a brand-new product,
J. Darby Purple Label.
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178. Ooh! Nothing but
the best.
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179. Gonna retail
for $9.99 a bottle.
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180. Ooh-whoo!
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181. $9.99! Yeah.
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182. You pay for the good stuff.
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183. Yeah, still have
some stuff
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184. we got to go through with
these contracts, man.
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185. 'Cause we
ain't shootin'
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186. one frame of film till
this shit is straight.
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187. Delicious.
Where do I sign? Right here.
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188. Lloyd, Lloyd... And here's your check.
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189. Lloyd!
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190. Thank you kindly.
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191. Thank you, buddy!
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192. Lloyd, what's wrong with you,
man? What are you doing!
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193. Break a leg, Lloyd!
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194. Look at all that bread!
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195. Yeah, you doing good, boy.
Pops is proud.
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196. Hey, Lloyd, you undermining
my authority, man.
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197. I'm out here fighting for you—
we're supposed
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198. to be working together
as a team.
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199. It's me and you, and you
got to get this dude
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200. up out of here!
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201. Vic, whatever you're saying
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202. I'm sure is important to you,
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203. but... [belches,
clears throat]
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204. Here, I'll hold it.You don't have...
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205. L-Lloyd, listen,
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206. I have all these white folks
in line.
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207. Yeah, I know you all thought
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208. y'all was messin'
with some okey-dokes,
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209. but I got some news for you.
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210. Ain't not one frame of film
getting shot
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211. until them contracts
is straight.
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212. Darby, please.
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213. Say when.
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214. A Darby man never says when.
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215. Darby!
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216. And cut! Yes!
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217. Yes, yes, awesome.
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218. That one was really good.
I think we got it.
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219. Great job, Lloyd! No, I don't think
we got it, okay?
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220. I was taking down
a few notes, right?
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221. There's a few things we're
gonna change. Everybody,
Copy !req
222. just keep the
cameras rolling.
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223. We're gonna do
the whole thing
Copy !req
224. over again
from the top.
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225. Now, Lloyd, this time, okay,
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226. I want you to be looking
directly in her eye.
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227. And when the alcohol is
pouring down on the shoes,
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228. you got to say,
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229. "Hey! You don't want
to see this
Copy !req
230. "pouring on my shoes.
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231. "Don't you realize
my shoes cost $2,000?
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232. I'm a Darby man."
Copy !req
233. We're doing it again.
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234. Lloyd, back
to your first position.
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235. Vic, you're fired.
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236. What? Sorry, but that's
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237. the way it's got to be.
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238. We had a great friendship,
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239. but sometimes things
just end abruptly.
Copy !req
240. But you have a good time,
you have a good life. Hey, Lloyd,
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241. listen, hold on,
hold on, man.
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242. Don't let them get
inside your head, Lloyd.
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243. They're trying to separate us—
divide and conquer.
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244. I hear you.
But, uh...
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245. Well.
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246. Oh, it's like that.
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247. Yeah, okay.
All right, Lloyd.
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248. You ain't gonna make it
without me!
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249. I'm the brains
of this operation!
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250. Take your ass back
to the Valley of the Bums,
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251. where lunch
is served cold daily.
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252. Get out of here, man.
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253. Come on, Vic...
Copy !req
254. don't take it personal.
Copy !req
255. Yeah, well, you
take this personal.
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256. Get the out of here.
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257. Ah, just the person
I want to see.
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258. Wha... What's poppin',
Lloyd? What's the beef?
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259. Don't worry about Vic.
I'm rich! Hey, look, Lloyd,
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260. I'm glad you got paid
and all that, man,
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261. but, you know,
money ain't everything, man.
Copy !req
262. I mean, ain't none of this shit
worth your friendship, brah.
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263. Who cares about Vic?
I just want to thank you
Copy !req
264. for what you've done.
Copy !req
265. I've been hard on you.
Copy !req
266. But you really
came through this time.
Copy !req
267. So you right, so you right.
I appreciate it. And I want
Copy !req
268. to thank God
Copy !req
269. and praise him,
because without him
Copy !req
270. this wouldn't
have happened.
Copy !req
271. And I'm gonna tell
allmy new rich Jewish friends
Copy !req
272. they missing out
on you, buddy.
Copy !req
273. Hey, that's all good and all,
but you made a promise
Copy !req
274. with God, though,
you remember that, right?
Copy !req
275. About getting your life
together.
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276. But I've done it. I started
Copy !req
277. with Vic—
he's too negative.
Copy !req
278. But look, man, I'm gonna
need you to do more, like,
Copy !req
279. I need you to eat right, man,
and stop drinking as much, man,
Copy !req
280. 'cause you drink way
too much, Lloyd. Stop!
Copy !req
281. I got to go.
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282. I got to go get
my crib...
Copy !req
283. and some new friends.
Copy !req
284. But I'll see you around, Jesus.
Copy !req
285. Jesus Christ!
Ooh, I love you, man.
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286. I love you, too, Lloyd.
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287. Darby, please.
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288. A Darby man never says when.
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289. Darby!
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290. Visiting hours
are just about up, con man.
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291. I'm gone, Vic.
I'm about to shake this spot.
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292. I'm out of here, brah.
I don't need to hear that today.
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293. Yeah, yeah.
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294. You and Lloyd,
Copy !req
295. living high off the hog now,
now that you
Copy !req
296. done cut old Vic out
the picture, huh?
Copy !req
297. Look, man, I ain't seen
Lloyd in a minute.
Copy !req
298. And on top of that, man, I
guess he too busy or something,
Copy !req
299. he can't holla at his boy, but
he made a promise with God, man,
Copy !req
300. and God real serious
about his promises, brah.
Copy !req
301. Well, guess what?
He did it to me as well.
Copy !req
302. Asked me to be
his manager.
Copy !req
303. I agreed.
Copy !req
304. Then the white people
started talking to him.
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305. Lost his mind.
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306. Now he's all caught up
in the fame.
Copy !req
307. Well, you know what, Vic?
I think y'all friendship
Copy !req
308. is way too important to let go
over some Hollywood bullshit.
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309. Yeah, well, that's
what I thought, too.
Copy !req
310. But the problem's not me.
Copy !req
311. It's him.
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312. Look, Vic, Lloyd throwing
this function tonight
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313. at the Tate Hotel
in Beverly Hills.
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314. Some super exclusive shit.
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315. All types of celebrities
gonna be there. Look,
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316. I'm gonna go
by myself, man.
Copy !req
317. I got a pocketful of weed;
you got them fine,
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318. handmade Nairobi
African three-pieces.
Copy !req
319. Why don't you put
one on, man,
Copy !req
320. let's crash this party
tonight, Vic, me and you.
Copy !req
321. Give me some.
Copy !req
322. The I look like
hanging out with a nigga
Copy !req
323. wearing dirty
women's nightclothes?
Copy !req
324. This was the shit
in Bethlehem, brah.
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325. Hey, look, Vic!
Copy !req
326. Hoo-hoo-hoo!
They doing it big tonight.
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327. Man, they pulled out
all the stops.
Copy !req
328. See? I know you're glad
you're hanging out
Copy !req
329. with me to...
Copy !req
330. We gonna have
some fun, though.
Copy !req
331. Come on, Vic.
Copy !req
332. Oh, wow, man,
they really set it up
Copy !req
333. for the boy, didn't they?
Copy !req
334. Look at this!
Copy !req
335. Hey! What's happenin', Nick?
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336. Jesus! What's up, man?Hey, what's going on
with you, bro? Hey,
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337. is this Lloyd's party?Yeah. Y'all know Lloyd?
Copy !req
338. Yeah, that's my partner! Ha!
Copy !req
339. Lloyd, what's
happenin', dawg!
Copy !req
340. Swaggy P,
Copy !req
341. Jesus is okay,
Copy !req
342. but this other nigga
is no friend of mine.
Copy !req
343. Come on, man, we just want
to function with you
Copy !req
344. and celebrate
Copy !req
345. your success, man.
Copy !req
346. Is that right, Vic?
Copy !req
347. Come on, man.
Copy !req
348. Let us in.
Promise, it's gonna be cool.
Copy !req
349. Hey, Swag, you need to get me
some of them custom kicks.
Copy !req
350. You know, these sandals
is kicking my ass, dawg.
Copy !req
351. That's right.
Copy !req
352. Old friends,
Copy !req
353. gaze upon my new life
as the face of Darby.
Copy !req
354. Look at all my fabulous
new friends,
Copy !req
355. and they all better
and more interesting
Copy !req
356. than y'all.
Make you wish
Copy !req
357. you had treated Lloyd...
♪ a little bit better.
Copy !req
358. Hey, come on now, Lloyd.
You know I always treated you
Copy !req
359. with nothing but respect, brah.
Copy !req
360. Nonsense. How soon you forget.
Copy !req
361. How many times have you called
me a stinkin', nasty, filthy,
Copy !req
362. crusty, old, black?
Copy !req
363. And it was appropriate, nigga.
Copy !req
364. You always looked
down on me.
Copy !req
365. Always trying
to tell me what to do.
Copy !req
366. But the tables
Copy !req
367. have turned.
Copy !req
368. Lloyd, look, man.
I came out here to show support,
Copy !req
369. as one of the homeboys.
I don't need this shit, man.
Copy !req
370. As a matter of fact,
you know what,
Copy !req
371. you, man. Get
out of my way, man.
Copy !req
372. you, man.
Copy !req
373. your perm and
your crushed velvet jacket, man.
Copy !req
374. That shit used to be a couch!
Copy !req
375. Hey, Vic, man, chill out, man...
Copy !req
376. Get your hands off my garments,
son.
Copy !req
377. I thought I knew you, man.
Tripped out.
Copy !req
378. Think you're somebody else
Copy !req
379. now, huh?
Copy !req
380. Johnny Mathis-looking.
Copy !req
381. Look, pardon him, man. Uh...
Copy !req
382. Tonight's your night, man.
What's poppin', Lloyd?
Copy !req
383. Look at you, man. How does
it feel to be the recipient
Copy !req
384. of such great blessings, man?
I mean, you on right now.
Copy !req
385. But I deserve it.
Are you kidding?
Copy !req
386. It's about time since I got
my fair share of fame
Copy !req
387. and easy money.
Copy !req
388. Oh, yeah. That reminds me.
About our agreement—
Copy !req
389. you remember you
made a deal with Pops
Copy !req
390. about making some important
changes in your life?
Copy !req
391. How's that going, man?
What's up with that?
Copy !req
392. I made some changes.
Copy !req
393. I got some new clothes
and some new friends.
Copy !req
394. Look, man. Pops is worried
about your health, man.
Copy !req
395. What good is all that when you
ain't around to enjoy it, Lloyd?
Copy !req
396. I'm doin' fine.
Copy !req
397. Fine, fine, fine.
Copy !req
398. No, you not doin' fine, Lloyd.
Look at you, man.
Copy !req
399. Say, man,
you made a deal with God, man.
Copy !req
400. You better stop that drinkin',
man,
Copy !req
401. or else you gonna around
and die, man.
Copy !req
402. Stop drinkin'? That's crazy.
Copy !req
403. I'm the Darby Man.
Copy !req
404. You are not the Darby Man,
Lloyd.
Copy !req
405. That's somebody you play
on TV. Look at you, man.
Copy !req
406. In reality, you're just an older
man with some serious problems,
Copy !req
407. Lloyd. I'm trying
to help you, brah.I'm not gonna stop drinkin'!
Copy !req
408. Pops wants you to stop drinkin',
man, or he gonna take
Copy !req
409. all this shit away
with the quickness.
Copy !req
410. The bad women, everything.
Copy !req
411. Let me tell you.
I don't need you
Copy !req
412. or Pops anymore.
Kiss... my...
Copy !req
413. ass.
If I want to get a little drink,
Copy !req
414. I'm gonna get myself
a little drink.
Copy !req
415. Ain't nothin'
you can do about it.
Copy !req
416. Swaggy P, goin' out
Copy !req
417. for some air. When I get back,
Copy !req
418. I want this
brotha out
Copy !req
419. of here.
Copy !req
420. You want me out?
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421. Wait, I'm the plug, man.
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422. Swaggy, do as I told you.No, Lloyd...
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423. I haven't changed.
Jesus changed. Shoot.
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424. What he talkin' 'bout?
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425. Hell with Jesus.
I already got what I need.
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426. Y'all, get out of my way there.
Cutie pie!
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427. Guy's drunk.
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428. Hey, y'all can't take pictures
of me.
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429. I'm the Darby Man.
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430. Don't get mad at me
'cause I make a little money!
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431. You can't take pictures of me.
Get-get-get...
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432. Aah! Oops, I peed my pants.
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433. A Darby Man never says...
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434. So, earlier today,
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435. Lloyd Hamilton was dismissed
from J. Darby
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436. as national spokesman
for public drunkenness
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437. and urinating in public.
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438. You know, Jim, I heard
he pissed on himself.
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439. He did. And then he vomited
all over his shoes.
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440. Not a good look. Not a good look at all.
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441. Hey, Vic.
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442. I see you over there lookin'
BHL, blessed and highly favored.
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443. What's so funny?
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444. Hey, Vic!
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445. Yeah. Hey!
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446. What's up, Lloyd? If it ain't the Darby Man.
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447. Heard about you
on TMZ, nigga.
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448. Jesus, you should've told me the
paparazzi was out there waiting
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449. to ambush me!
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450. You know, you two niggas
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451. deserve each other.
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452. 'Cause you're both frauds.
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453. Oh, Vic, come on.
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454. I let fame go to my head,
and I forgot
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455. about the important things
in life, like...
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456. our friendship and hating Jesus.
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457. Don't you forgive me,
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458. Vic? Don't you forgive me?
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459. No, I don't.
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460. Come on, Vic.
Keep it one fow-wow.
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461. You wasn't a little bit envious
of this dude?
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462. Envious? Heh. Of a nigga
that smell like week-old piss?
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463. Come on, brah.So you weren't
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464. coveting this dude's new money
and fame, not even a little bit,
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465. hatin' on his get-down?
And you know
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466. you was out of line for
forcing yourself as a manager
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467. on this dude, knowing
you ain't got no experience.
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468. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm not apologizing
for that.
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469. I was trying to help.
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470. Oh, were you really? Or were you
just trying to lock him down
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471. 'cause you didn't want
to lose his friendship, Victor?
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472. Oh, is that true, Vic?
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473. You was
tryin' to lock down
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474. so you could keep me
as your friend?
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475. Oh, yeah, yeah. I missed the
smelly-ass nigga on my couch.
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476. Let me make it up, Vic.
See, they had to pay me out
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477. of my contract. See?
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478. So I could be known
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479. as a rent-paying roommate.
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480. You're paying rent?
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481. Come on in, Lloyd. Come on in.
Get your... Get all your stuff.
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482. Get all your bags.
Get everything. Let me help you
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483. with your stuff. Let me help you
with this right here.
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484. I got... I got this. Oh,
yeah, I got this, too.
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485. Let me get your back here.Man, you get back, nigga.
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486. Once again,
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487. faith and love in you
ain't shit.
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488. That's right, Lloyd.
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489. He's a con man. Con man!
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490. Yeah. See, now you can hang
out with your real friends.
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491. It's all good though,
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492. 'cause I love the love.
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493. Con man!
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494. Hey, Lloyd!
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495. You forgot your shit, dawg!
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496. Thank you, Jesus!
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497. You welcome!
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