Black Dynamite 2x6

1. we are here today to determine if, um, congress

2. we are here today to determine if, um, congress shall cut funding for the

3. Determine if, um, congress shall cut funding for the pubic broadca—

4. Shall cut funding for the pubic broadca— what is this? "public."

5. Pubic broadca— what is this? "public." public broadcasting system, pbs,

6. What is this? "public." public broadcasting system, pbs, currently at $20 million a year.

7. Public broadcasting system, pbs, currently at $20 million a year. Okay, rogers. It's your floor.

8. Currently at $20 million a year. Okay, rogers. It's your floor. senator pastore, I'm the host

9. Okay, rogers. It's your floor. senator pastore, I'm the host of a television program on pbs

10. senator pastore, I'm the host of a television program on pbs called —

11. Of a television program on pbs called — "mister rogers'

12. Called — "mister rogers' neighborhood."

13. "mister rogers' neighborhood." yes, we all are aware.

14. Neighborhood." yes, we all are aware. could I tell you the words of

15. Yes, we all are aware. could I tell you the words of one of the songs on our program

16. could I tell you the words of one of the songs on our program that I feel is very important?

17. One of the songs on our program that I feel is very important? sure. Why not?

18. That I feel is very important? sure. Why not? it's you I like because your

19. sure. Why not? it's you I like because your back is hairy like a bear.

20. it's you I like because your back is hairy like a bear. It's you I like, not your fat

21. Back is hairy like a bear. It's you I like, not your fat booty bottom that barely fits

22. It's you I like, not your fat booty bottom that barely fits the chair — not your man boobs

23. Booty bottom that barely fits the chair — not your man boobs or your obviously fake hair.

24. The chair — not your man boobs or your obviously fake hair. I make no judgments about how

25. Or your obviously fake hair. I make no judgments about how ugly you are and tell you I like

26. I make no judgments about how ugly you are and tell you I like you just the way you are.

27. Ugly you are and tell you I like you just the way you are. mister rogers, I think —

28. You just the way you are. mister rogers, I think — wait, senator.

29. mister rogers, I think — wait, senator. I haven't even gotten to your

30. wait, senator. I haven't even gotten to your flaccid little ding-dong and

31. I haven't even gotten to your flaccid little ding-dong and your elephantitis of the nuts.

32. Flaccid little ding-dong and your elephantitis of the nuts. Or would you rather just give me

33. Your elephantitis of the nuts. Or would you rather just give me my hush money now?

34. Or would you rather just give me my hush money now?

35. My hush money now? looks like you just earned

36. looks like you just earned your $20 million.

37. looks like you just earned your $20 million.

38. Your $20 million. mister rogers, put it here,

39. mister rogers, put it here, baby!

40. mister rogers, put it here, baby! Congratulations!

41. Baby! Congratulations! All of us at pbs knew you could

42. Congratulations! All of us at pbs knew you could do it.

43. All of us at pbs knew you could do it. oh, I'm just pleased for all

44. Do it. oh, I'm just pleased for all the children we'll be able to

45. oh, I'm just pleased for all the children we'll be able to care for over the next few

46. The children we'll be able to care for over the next few years.

47. Care for over the next few years. yeah, yeah.

48. Years. yeah, yeah. Don't worry, rogers.

49. yeah, yeah. Don't worry, rogers. Trust me — this $20 million is

50. Don't worry, rogers. Trust me — this $20 million is gonna last a long, long time.

51. Trust me — this $20 million is gonna last a long, long time.

52. Gonna last a long, long time. guess what, guys —

53. guess what, guys — this $20 million didn't last

54. guess what, guys — this $20 million didn't last long at all!

55. This $20 million didn't last long at all! really? All I did was buy

56. Long at all! really? All I did was buy this opulent mansion, import

57. really? All I did was buy this opulent mansion, import this coke from colombia, and

58. This opulent mansion, import this coke from colombia, and throw a few parties with bitches

59. This coke from colombia, and throw a few parties with bitches and money bonfires!

60. Throw a few parties with bitches and money bonfires! whoo! Burnin' money!

61. And money bonfires! whoo! Burnin' money! yeah, and this is the

62. whoo! Burnin' money! yeah, and this is the cheapest luxury submarine they

63. yeah, and this is the cheapest luxury submarine they had!

64. Cheapest luxury submarine they had!

65. Had! can't say the same for the hoes,

66. can't say the same for the hoes, though!

67. Can't say the same for the hoes, though! Quality hoes are expensive.

68. Though! Quality hoes are expensive. hey, what are we gonna tell

69. Quality hoes are expensive. hey, what are we gonna tell that guy mister rogers?

70. hey, what are we gonna tell that guy mister rogers? oh, oh! I know!

71. That guy mister rogers? oh, oh! I know!

72. oh, oh! I know! him, that's what!

73. him, that's what! hey, quit hogging the titty

74. him, that's what! hey, quit hogging the titty cocaine!

75. hey, quit hogging the titty cocaine!

76. Cocaine! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

77. ♪ he's dynamite ♪ so dynamite ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh

78. ♪ so dynamite ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ ooohhh

79. ♪ ooohhh ♪ ahhhh

80. ♪ he's dynamite ♪ dy-no, dy-no

81. ♪ dy-no, dy-no ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh

82. ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ oooohhhh ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

83. ♪ oooohhhh ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! this week...

84. cream corn: Ooh, yeah, girl. That's how I like it. Rub a little harder,

85. That's how I like it. Rub a little harder, you'll get some milk.

86. Rub a little harder, you'll get some milk. honey bee: Cream corn!

87. You'll get some milk. honey bee: Cream corn! Bring your little ass over here

88. honey bee: Cream corn! Bring your little ass over here and stop playing with yourself.

89. Bring your little ass over here and stop playing with yourself. Nasty ass.

90. And stop playing with yourself. Nasty ass.

91. Nasty ass. Man, this antenna

92. Man, this antenna been a hemorrhoid in my

93. Man, this antenna been a hemorrhoid in my ass nipples all day.

94. Been a hemorrhoid in my ass nipples all day. And this raggedy old

95. Ass nipples all day. And this raggedy old motherbetter not be

96. And this raggedy old motherbetter not be shrinkin' my with all

97. Motherbetter not be shrinkin' my with all these microwaves!

98. Shrinkin' my with all these microwaves! bullhorn, "mister rogers" is

99. These microwaves! bullhorn, "mister rogers" is gonna start!

100. bullhorn, "mister rogers" is gonna start! We're gonna miss it!

101. Gonna start! We're gonna miss it! You don't know how to fix

102. We're gonna miss it! You don't know how to fix nothing.

103. You don't know how to fix nothing. Bitch!

104. Nothing. Bitch! I'm adjusting these rabbit ears

105. Bitch! I'm adjusting these rabbit ears as best as I'm able!

106. I'm adjusting these rabbit ears as best as I'm able! But I don't know why the

107. But I don't know why the we don't just break down and get some goddamn cable!

108. We don't just break down and get some goddamn cable! Yay!

109. Some goddamn cable! Yay! honey bee: Bullhorn!

110. Yay! honey bee: Bullhorn! Come here! Come here!

111. honey bee: Bullhorn! Come here! Come here! Orpheens, don't go

112. Come here! Come here! Orpheens, don't go no place.

113. Orpheens, don't go no place. Keep your ass sittin' tight.

114. No place. Keep your ass sittin' tight. Bullhorn will be back faster

115. Keep your ass sittin' tight. Bullhorn will be back faster than you can say, "dolemite"!

116. Bullhorn will be back faster than you can say, "dolemite"! black dynamite: Hey, y'all.

117. Than you can say, "dolemite"! black dynamite: Hey, y'all. I know this is short notice, but

118. black dynamite: Hey, y'all. I know this is short notice, but I need your help to throw a

119. I know this is short notice, but I need your help to throw a surprise birthday party today.

120. I need your help to throw a surprise birthday party today. cream corn: A surprise party

121. Surprise birthday party today. cream corn: A surprise party for me?

122. cream corn: A surprise party for me? honey bee: Shhh!

123. For me? honey bee: Shhh! Shut — shhh!

124. honey bee: Shhh! Shut — shhh! black dynamite: For the

125. Shut — shhh! black dynamite: For the orphans.

126. black dynamite: For the orphans. We never celebrate their

127. Orphans. We never celebrate their birthdays anyway, mostly because

128. We never celebrate their birthdays anyway, mostly because there's 30 of them and I can't

129. Birthdays anyway, mostly because there's 30 of them and I can't remember all those

130. There's 30 of them and I can't remember all those goddamn dates.

131. Remember all those goddamn dates. Besides, we don't know when half

132. Goddamn dates. Besides, we don't know when half their birthdays are anyway.

133. Besides, we don't know when half their birthdays are anyway. So today is gonna be the day we

134. Their birthdays are anyway. So today is gonna be the day we celebrate all of them.

135. So today is gonna be the day we celebrate all of them. honey bee: Okay, look, I

136. Celebrate all of them. honey bee: Okay, look, I think that if you two go out —

137. honey bee: Okay, look, I think that if you two go out — bullhorn, where you at?

138. Think that if you two go out — bullhorn, where you at? We said, "dolemite" like

139. bullhorn, where you at? We said, "dolemite" like 50 times already!

140. We said, "dolemite" like 50 times already! Orpheen, you ain't

141. 50 times already! Orpheen, you ain't sittin' where I told you to

142. Orpheen, you ain't sittin' where I told you to stay!

143. Sittin' where I told you to stay! Can't you see we tryin' to

144. Stay! Can't you see we tryin' to inconspicuously plan your

145. Can't you see we tryin' to inconspicuously plan your motherbirthda—

146. Inconspicuously plan your motherbirthda— honey bee: Defects!

147. Motherbirthda— honey bee: Defects! Yeah, we're talkin' 'bout your

148. honey bee: Defects! Yeah, we're talkin' 'bout your birth defects!

149. Yeah, we're talkin' 'bout your birth defects! > but "defects" don't rhyme

150. Birth defects! > but "defects" don't rhyme with —

151. > but "defects" don't rhyme with — honey bee: Hush, boy, and go

152. With — honey bee: Hush, boy, and go sit your little smart ass down!

153. honey bee: Hush, boy, and go sit your little smart ass down!

154. Sit your little smart ass down! black dynamite: Okay.

155. black dynamite: Okay. So, we got to get this

156. black dynamite: Okay. So, we got to get this whorephanage ready for a

157. So, we got to get this whorephanage ready for a surprise birthday party that

158. Whorephanage ready for a surprise birthday party that these orphans will be

159. Surprise birthday party that these orphans will be surprised by.

160. These orphans will be surprised by. honey bee: And how the hell

161. Surprised by. honey bee: And how the hell we gonna do that?

162. honey bee: And how the hell we gonna do that? You see how nosy these little

163. We gonna do that? You see how nosy these little motherare.

164. You see how nosy these little motherare. aaah!

165. Motherare. aaah! cream corn: Ooh, I know!

166. aaah! cream corn: Ooh, I know! We take the kids to see

167. cream corn: Ooh, I know! We take the kids to see the "mister rogers" show.

168. We take the kids to see the "mister rogers" show. They seem to love that

169. The "mister rogers" show. They seem to love that learning

170. They seem to love that learning black dynamite: Fine.

171. Learning black dynamite: Fine. Now what presents we got?

172. black dynamite: Fine. Now what presents we got? honey bee: Okay, look.

173. Now what presents we got? honey bee: Okay, look. I got this cute little

174. honey bee: Okay, look. I got this cute little my mommy doll from the —

175. I got this cute little my mommy doll from the — black dynamite: What are

176. My mommy doll from the — black dynamite: What are you thinking?

177. black dynamite: What are you thinking? If we give that mommy doll to

178. You thinking? If we give that mommy doll to the orphans, all it's gonna do

179. If we give that mommy doll to the orphans, all it's gonna do is remind them that they ain't

180. The orphans, all it's gonna do is remind them that they ain't got no mommies, and it'll break

181. Is remind them that they ain't got no mommies, and it'll break their little parentless hearts.

182. Got no mommies, and it'll break their little parentless hearts. So we got to find

183. Their little parentless hearts. So we got to find new gifts at full price or on

184. So we got to find new gifts at full price or on clearance that don't remind them

185. New gifts at full price or on clearance that don't remind them orpheens that they ain't got no

186. Clearance that don't remind them orpheens that they ain't got no parents!

187. Orpheens that they ain't got no parents! cream corn: Okay, look — I

188. Parents! cream corn: Okay, look — I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm

189. cream corn: Okay, look — I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm ready to come out of the closet.

190. Don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm ready to come out of the closet. honey bee: Hmph.

191. Ready to come out of the closet. honey bee: Hmph. It's about damn time.

192. honey bee: Hmph. It's about damn time. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

193. It's about damn time. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

194. look — it's speedy deliveryman mr. Mcfeely. What you got for us today,

195. Speedy deliveryman mr. Mcfeely. What you got for us today, mr. Mcfeely?

196. What you got for us today, mr. Mcfeely? hey, mister rogers!

197. Mr. Mcfeely? hey, mister rogers! Today I got you this piano!

198. hey, mister rogers! Today I got you this piano! a piano? Wow!

199. Today I got you this piano! a piano? Wow! Looks like that congress money

200. a piano? Wow! Looks like that congress money is starting to pay off.

201. Looks like that congress money is starting to pay off. Boys and girls, let me show you

202. Is starting to pay off. Boys and girls, let me show you how I hit the g-spot —

203. Boys and girls, let me show you how I hit the g-spot — I mean, note.

204. How I hit the g-spot — I mean, note. You just press these keys, and

205. I mean, note. You just press these keys, and each one makes a different

206. You just press these keys, and each one makes a different sound.

207. Each one makes a different sound. yay! Yay!

208. Sound. yay! Yay! black dynamite: Now, this is

209. yay! Yay! black dynamite: Now, this is an environment I can safely say

210. black dynamite: Now, this is an environment I can safely say the orphans will be safe in.

211. An environment I can safely say the orphans will be safe in. Now's our chance to slip out and

212. The orphans will be safe in. Now's our chance to slip out and get their presents.

213. Now's our chance to slip out and get their presents. Come on, y'all.

214. Get their presents. Come on, y'all. honey bee: Black dynamite,

215. Come on, y'all. honey bee: Black dynamite, are you sure you just want to

216. honey bee: Black dynamite, are you sure you just want to leave the orphans like this?

217. Are you sure you just want to leave the orphans like this? black dynamite: Look at 'em.

218. Leave the orphans like this? black dynamite: Look at 'em. When's the last time you seen

219. black dynamite: Look at 'em. When's the last time you seen them this interested in some

220. When's the last time you seen them this interested in some you were saying?

221. Them this interested in some you were saying? Now, if there is a white man you

222. you were saying? Now, if there is a white man you can trust, it's a mister rogers

223. Now, if there is a white man you can trust, it's a mister rogers white man.

224. oh, wait.

225. oh, wait. This one sounds wrong.

226. oh, wait. This one sounds wrong. A broken piano string.

227. This one sounds wrong. A broken piano string. See, neighbors?

228. A broken piano string. See, neighbors? Life is full of problems, but

229. See, neighbors? Life is full of problems, but you can fix them yourself by

230. Life is full of problems, but you can fix them yourself by pretending that they're not

231. You can fix them yourself by pretending that they're not problems.

232. Pretending that they're not problems. Let's pretend this broken piano

233. Problems. Let's pretend this broken piano string is a magical gold wand

234. Let's pretend this broken piano string is a magical gold wand that can make all your problems

235. String is a magical gold wand that can make all your problems go away.

236. That can make all your problems go away.

237. Go away. black dynamite: Okay, gang.

238. black dynamite: Okay, gang. Let's not this up,

239. black dynamite: Okay, gang. Let's not this up, 'cause I don't want to be buyin'

240. Let's not this up, 'cause I don't want to be buyin' birthday presents for at least

241. 'cause I don't want to be buyin' birthday presents for at least another year.

242. Birthday presents for at least another year. cream corn: Ooh, here's a

243. Another year. cream corn: Ooh, here's a cute goo-goo baby!

244. cream corn: Ooh, here's a cute goo-goo baby! I love goo-goo babies!

245. Cute goo-goo baby! I love goo-goo babies! black dynamite: We can't get

246. I love goo-goo babies! black dynamite: We can't get them this baby doll 'cause

247. black dynamite: We can't get them this baby doll 'cause babies come from mamas, and

248. Them this baby doll 'cause babies come from mamas, and mamas is exactly what we don't

249. Babies come from mamas, and mamas is exactly what we don't want them thinking of.

250. Mamas is exactly what we don't want them thinking of. All right.

251. Want them thinking of. All right. Surely we can't go wrong if we

252. All right. Surely we can't go wrong if we get these orpheens this

253. Surely we can't go wrong if we get these orpheens this stretch armstrong!

254. Get these orpheens this stretch armstrong! black dynamite: I don't want

255. Stretch armstrong! black dynamite: I don't want them wrapping skrech arms around

256. black dynamite: I don't want them wrapping skrech arms around each other 'cause they'll just

257. Them wrapping skrech arms around each other 'cause they'll just think of the hugs they no longer

258. Each other 'cause they'll just think of the hugs they no longer get from the parents they no

259. Think of the hugs they no longer get from the parents they no longer have.

260. Get from the parents they no longer have. honey bee: Okay. Ooh!

261. Longer have. honey bee: Okay. Ooh! How about this light-up

262. honey bee: Okay. Ooh! How about this light-up simon says memory game?

263. How about this light-up simon says memory game? black dynamite: Honey bee,

264. Simon says memory game? black dynamite: Honey bee, the last thing we want them

265. black dynamite: Honey bee, the last thing we want them orphans to do is remember

266. The last thing we want them orphans to do is remember like their parents.

267. Orphans to do is remember like their parents. cream corn: Okay, here —

268. like their parents. cream corn: Okay, here — a totally innocent

269. cream corn: Okay, here — a totally innocent non-parental-reminding

270. A totally innocent non-parental-reminding lionel train set!

271. Non-parental-reminding lionel train set! black dynamite: I don't want

272. Lionel train set! black dynamite: I don't want orphans putting the train

273. black dynamite: I don't want orphans putting the train in the tunnel!

274. Orphans putting the train in the tunnel! honey bee: Trains

275. In the tunnel! honey bee: Trains in the tunnel?

276. honey bee: Trains in the tunnel? What does that have to do

277. In the tunnel? What does that have to do with orphans?

278. What does that have to do with orphans? black dynamite: You know —

279. With orphans? black dynamite: You know — put the train in the tunnel.

280. black dynamite: You know — put the train in the tunnel. It's a euphemism, like the train

281. Put the train in the tunnel. It's a euphemism, like the train is the dick, and it goes in the

282. It's a euphemism, like the train is the dick, and it goes in the tunnel.

283. Is the dick, and it goes in the tunnel. cream corn: Well, then,

284. Tunnel. cream corn: Well, then, what's the tunnel — my?

285. cream corn: Well, then, what's the tunnel — my? black dynamite: Okay, what we

286. What's the tunnel — my? black dynamite: Okay, what we got left?

287. black dynamite: Okay, what we got left? There ain't nothin'

288. Got left? There ain't nothin' here I can find that ain't gonna

289. There ain't nothin' here I can find that ain't gonna remind these orpheens of parents

290. Here I can find that ain't gonna remind these orpheens of parents and a happier time, except maybe

291. Remind these orpheens of parents and a happier time, except maybe these toy guns, knives, and land

292. And a happier time, except maybe these toy guns, knives, and land mines!

293. These toy guns, knives, and land mines! black dynamite: I don't know.

294. Mines! black dynamite: I don't know. Maybe we should get' 'em

295. black dynamite: I don't know. Maybe we should get' 'em nothin', 'cause that's the only

296. Maybe we should get' 'em nothin', 'cause that's the only thing I can think of that won't

297. Nothin', 'cause that's the only thing I can think of that won't remind them of somethin'.

298. Thing I can think of that won't remind them of somethin'.

299. Remind them of somethin'. we're back in five, fred!

300. we're back in five, fred! thanks for letting me know

301. we're back in five, fred! thanks for letting me know that, abe.

302. thanks for letting me know that, abe. You're great with numbers.

303. That, abe. You're great with numbers. what?

304. You're great with numbers. what? oh, hi, there,

305. what? oh, hi, there, public broadcasting friends.

306. oh, hi, there, public broadcasting friends. I thought we were going to use

307. Public broadcasting friends. I thought we were going to use some of that money from the

308. I thought we were going to use some of that money from the government to get some new

309. Some of that money from the government to get some new equipment around here.

310. Government to get some new equipment around here. money? What money?

311. Equipment around here. money? What money? Oh, that money is all gone.

312. money? What money? Oh, that money is all gone. you see, your show just isn't

313. Oh, that money is all gone. you see, your show just isn't profitable.

314. you see, your show just isn't profitable. not to worry, though,

315. Profitable. not to worry, though, freddy baby!

316. not to worry, though, freddy baby! We got a whole stable of

317. Freddy baby! We got a whole stable of product-endorsement deals

318. We got a whole stable of product-endorsement deals that'll shoot our budget

319. Product-endorsement deals that'll shoot our budget sky-high!

320. That'll shoot our budget sky-high! well, I've got to say I've

321. Sky-high! well, I've got to say I've never been a fan of endorsing.

322. well, I've got to say I've never been a fan of endorsing. hey, kids are gonna beg their

323. Never been a fan of endorsing. hey, kids are gonna beg their parents for sugary bad

324. hey, kids are gonna beg their parents for sugary bad anyway, so they might as well

325. Parents for sugary bad anyway, so they might as well get it from us!

326. Anyway, so they might as well get it from us! And we've got the shirt that

327. Get it from us! And we've got the shirt that promotes the soda!

328. And we've got the shirt that promotes the soda! Double pump!

329. Promotes the soda! Double pump! we call it the "obesi-tee"!

330. Double pump! we call it the "obesi-tee"! Get it? Obese? Tee? T-shirt?

331. we call it the "obesi-tee"! Get it? Obese? Tee? T-shirt? Y-you just had to be there.

332. Get it? Obese? Tee? T-shirt? Y-you just had to be there. and we've got snacktime

333. Y-you just had to be there. and we've got snacktime covered!

334. and we've got snacktime covered! oh, my, fellas.

335. Covered! oh, my, fellas. That looks like cocaine.

336. oh, my, fellas. That looks like cocaine. I'll call the police.

337. That looks like cocaine. I'll call the police. are you kidding me?

338. I'll call the police. are you kidding me? With coke prices these days?

339. are you kidding me? With coke prices these days? This is pure refined sugar.

340. With coke prices these days? This is pure refined sugar. a survey we did said 100% of

341. This is pure refined sugar. a survey we did said 100% of drug addicts used to be kids!

342. a survey we did said 100% of drug addicts used to be kids! You believe that?

343. Drug addicts used to be kids! You believe that? and finally, cartoons!

344. You believe that? and finally, cartoons! Check it out — our new addition

345. and finally, cartoons! Check it out — our new addition to "mister rogers'

346. Check it out — our new addition to "mister rogers' neighborhood"!

347. To "mister rogers' neighborhood"! oh

348. Neighborhood"! oh it's "waka blocka blaow!"

349. oh it's "waka blocka blaow!" ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

350. It's "waka blocka blaow!" ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

351. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

352. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at' em!

353. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at' em! so, you just introduce these

354. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at' em! so, you just introduce these cartoons, tell the kids to buy

355. so, you just introduce these cartoons, tell the kids to buy some crap...

356. Cartoons, tell the kids to buy some crap... welcome to the neighborhood,

357. Some crap... welcome to the neighborhood, bitch!

358. welcome to the neighborhood, bitch! Enough cash for at least

359. Bitch! Enough cash for at least three submarines!

360. Enough cash for at least three submarines! Huh? Huh?

361. Three submarines! Huh? Huh?

362. Huh? Huh? sorry, fred.

363. sorry, fred. We got to do this.

364. sorry, fred. We got to do this. We just don't know where the

365. We got to do this. We just don't know where the money went.

366. We just don't know where the money went. Is my money tie on straight?

367. Money went. Is my money tie on straight? I told you they don't care

368. Is my money tie on straight? I told you they don't care about the kids like we do.

369. I told you they don't care about the kids like we do. what the hell is he doing?

370. About the kids like we do. what the hell is he doing? maybe he needs some cocaine.

371. what the hell is he doing? maybe he needs some cocaine. you know what you always said

372. maybe he needs some cocaine. you know what you always said you'd do if it came to this.

373. you know what you always said you'd do if it came to this. If no one is going to protect

374. You'd do if it came to this. If no one is going to protect the kids from all the bad in the

375. If no one is going to protect the kids from all the bad in the world, it has to be you.

376. The kids from all the bad in the world, it has to be you. You know, friends, I try to

377. World, it has to be you. You know, friends, I try to teach my children a lesson about

378. You know, friends, I try to teach my children a lesson about overcoming problems with their

379. Teach my children a lesson about overcoming problems with their imagination, but I guess

380. Overcoming problems with their imagination, but I guess sometimes you just got to find

381. Imagination, but I guess sometimes you just got to find the thing that's broken and take

382. Sometimes you just got to find the thing that's broken and take it out.

383. The thing that's broken and take it out. put that down, fred.

384. It out. put that down, fred.

385. put that down, fred.

386. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

387. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite: Now, see?

388. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite: Now, see? This can't say, "birthday."

389. black dynamite: Now, see? This can't say, "birthday." we can't have the orphans

390. This can't say, "birthday." we can't have the orphans thinking about how they was once

391. We can't have the orphans thinking about how they was once birthed, 'cause that would

392. Thinking about how they was once birthed, 'cause that would remind them of their mama's

393. Birthed, 'cause that would remind them of their mama's vagina, which is connected to...

394. Remind them of their mama's vagina, which is connected to... cream corn: What's that,

395. Vagina, which is connected to... cream corn: What's that, black dynamite?

396. cream corn: What's that, black dynamite? black dynamite: A mama!

397. Black dynamite? black dynamite: A mama! Better, although now that I

398. black dynamite: A mama! Better, although now that I think of it, each of those

399. Better, although now that I think of it, each of those orphans was born on a day.

400. Think of it, each of those orphans was born on a day. Hmm.

401. Orphans was born on a day. Hmm. Do y'all think "happy" might

402. Hmm. Do y'all think "happy" might be too close to "pappy"?

403. Do y'all think "happy" might be too close to "pappy"? ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

404. Be too close to "pappy"? ♪ dynamite! Dynamite you know, kids, we all have

405. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite you know, kids, we all have problems.

406. you know, kids, we all have problems. I want to talk to you right now

407. Problems. I want to talk to you right now about a new way to solve your

408. I want to talk to you right now about a new way to solve your problems.

409. About a new way to solve your problems.

410. Problems. I've never seen this part

411. I've never seen this part before.

412. I've never seen this part before. why does he look like that?

413. Before. why does he look like that? what do you do when the mad

414. why does he look like that? what do you do when the mad that you feel, when each way you

415. what do you do when the mad that you feel, when each way you walk is uphill, when the

416. That you feel, when each way you walk is uphill, when the grown-ups are working against

417. Walk is uphill, when the grown-ups are working against you and all you can do is to

418. Grown-ups are working against you and all you can do is to kill?

419. You and all you can do is to kill?

420. Kill? don't run away.

421. don't run away. Don't admit defeat.

422. Don't run away. Don't admit defeat. Just point your gun up and fire

423. Don't admit defeat. Just point your gun up and fire one volley.

424. Just point your gun up and fire one volley.

425. One volley. all you kids hop out of your

426. all you kids hop out of your seats and get on the

427. All you kids hop out of your seats and get on the mothertrolley.

428. Seats and get on the mothertrolley.

429. Mothertrolley. timmy, no!

430. timmy, no! that's my son.

431. timmy, no! that's my son. Rondell. Rondell. Rondell!

432. that's my son. Rondell. Rondell. Rondell! there you go.

433. Rondell. Rondell. Rondell! there you go. Watch that step.

434. there you go. Watch that step. rondell, come back!

435. Watch that step. rondell, come back! white kids, too, ladies.

436. rondell, come back! white kids, too, ladies. rondell!

437. white kids, too, ladies. rondell! timmy, no!

438. rondell! timmy, no! rondell!

439. timmy, no! rondell! we're moving, boys and girls,

440. rondell! we're moving, boys and girls, off to the real

441. we're moving, boys and girls, off to the real land of make-believe.

442. Off to the real land of make-believe.

443. Land of make-believe.

444. no! No, no, no! Fred!

445. no! No, no, no! Fred! I'm your neighbor!

446. no! No, no, no! Fred! I'm your neighbor!

447. I'm your neighbor! rondell!

448. rondell! well, it's time to move,

449. rondell! well, it's time to move, bitch.

450. well, it's time to move, bitch. Now say, "bye," kids!

451. Bitch. Now say, "bye," kids! don't let them put you in the

452. Now say, "bye," kids! don't let them put you in the back of that white man's

453. don't let them put you in the back of that white man's trolley!

454. Back of that white man's trolley!

455. Trolley! well, where's black dynamite

456. well, where's black dynamite when you need him?

457. well, where's black dynamite when you need him? Wasn't he just here?

458. When you need him? Wasn't he just here? black dynamite: Okay, y'all.

459. Wasn't he just here? black dynamite: Okay, y'all. Now let's get these orphans and

460. black dynamite: Okay, y'all. Now let's get these orphans and have the best birthday ev—

461. Now let's get these orphans and have the best birthday ev—

462. Have the best birthday ev— rondell!

463. rondell! oh, timmy!

464. rondell! oh, timmy! oh, jimmy! My baby!

465. oh, timmy! oh, jimmy! My baby! honey bee: Damn, damn,

466. oh, jimmy! My baby! honey bee: Damn, damn, damn it, black...

467. honey bee: Damn, damn, damn it, black... ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

468. black dynamite: Who's in charge here?

469. black dynamite: Who's in charge here? sarcastically,

470. Charge here? sarcastically, mister rogers is in charge.

471. sarcastically, mister rogers is in charge. black dynamite: Chief

472. Mister rogers is in charge. black dynamite: Chief rodney magilahorn, honkies from

473. black dynamite: Chief rodney magilahorn, honkies from the atf — I can't say I'm happy

474. Rodney magilahorn, honkies from the atf — I can't say I'm happy to see you, so I won't.

475. The atf — I can't say I'm happy to see you, so I won't. What's the lowdown?

476. To see you, so I won't. What's the lowdown? cream corn: Damn!

477. What's the lowdown? cream corn: Damn! Mister rogers did all this?

478. cream corn: Damn! Mister rogers did all this? Makes me question every lesson I

479. Mister rogers did all this? Makes me question every lesson I ever learned from him.

480. Makes me question every lesson I ever learned from him. I knew sharing from your heart

481. Ever learned from him. I knew sharing from your heart was a crock of

482. I knew sharing from your heart was a crock of mister rogers kidnapped all

483. Was a crock of mister rogers kidnapped all the kids in the audience at

484. mister rogers kidnapped all the kids in the audience at gunpoint and escaped via trolley

485. The kids in the audience at gunpoint and escaped via trolley down this tunnel, which seems to

486. Gunpoint and escaped via trolley down this tunnel, which seems to have been built for the sole

487. Down this tunnel, which seems to have been built for the sole purpose of kidnapping kids via

488. Have been built for the sole purpose of kidnapping kids via trolley.

489. Purpose of kidnapping kids via trolley. So, as soon as we get through

490. Trolley. So, as soon as we get through these rocks, we're gonna use our

491. So, as soon as we get through these rocks, we're gonna use our biggest, hardest unit and

492. These rocks, we're gonna use our biggest, hardest unit and penetrate that tunnel.

493. Biggest, hardest unit and penetrate that tunnel. cream corn: Oh, I get it!

494. Penetrate that tunnel. cream corn: Oh, I get it! The tunnel's a vagina!

495. cream corn: Oh, I get it! The tunnel's a vagina! yeah.

496. The tunnel's a vagina! yeah. black dynamite: Chief

497. yeah. black dynamite: Chief magilahorn, I respect you as

498. black dynamite: Chief magilahorn, I respect you as much as I can respect any

499. Magilahorn, I respect you as much as I can respect any incompetent cop who always

500. Much as I can respect any incompetent cop who always things up, but unless

501. Incompetent cop who always things up, but unless you got some good intel, you

502. things up, but unless you got some good intel, you never just storm into a

503. You got some good intel, you never just storm into a situation and start shooting —

504. Never just storm into a situation and start shooting — unless you're black dynamite,

505. Situation and start shooting — unless you're black dynamite, that is, and you're not

506. Unless you're black dynamite, that is, and you're not black dynamite.

507. That is, and you're not black dynamite. I am.

508. Black dynamite. I am. he's just a kiddie-show host.

509. I am. he's just a kiddie-show host. What's he gonna do —

510. he's just a kiddie-show host. What's he gonna do — strangle me with his cardigan?

511. What's he gonna do — strangle me with his cardigan?

512. oh, well, hello, little trolley.

513. oh, well, hello, little trolley.

514. Trolley. what's that, little trolley?

515. What's that, little trolley? there's a s.W.A.T. Team coming

516. there's a s.W.A.T. Team coming to take away all the kids?

517. There's a s.W.A.T. Team coming to take away all the kids?

518. To take away all the kids? oh, no!

519. oh, no! We can't let that happen.

520. Oh, no! We can't let that happen. but why are they coming to

521. We can't let that happen. but why are they coming to get us, mister rogers?

522. but why are they coming to get us, mister rogers? well, boys and girls, how

523. Get us, mister rogers? well, boys and girls, how 'bout I tell you in a song?

524. well, boys and girls, how 'bout I tell you in a song?

525. 'bout I tell you in a song? ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

526. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

527. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

528. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

529. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ they show you ass and sex, so,

530. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ they show you ass and sex, so, bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪

531. ♪ they show you ass and sex, so, bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ ♪ adults don't give a

532. Bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ ♪ adults don't give a so, bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪

533. ♪ adults don't give a so, bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

534. So, bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

535. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

536. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

537. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ they'll get you hooked on

538. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ they'll get you hooked on smack, heroine and coke

539. ♪ they'll get you hooked on smack, heroine and coke and ♪

540. Smack, heroine and coke and ♪ ♪ then you'll sell your mama or

541. And ♪ ♪ then you'll sell your mama or even suck a ♪

542. ♪ then you'll sell your mama or even suck a ♪ ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

543. Even suck a ♪ ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

544. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

545. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

546. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ violence, guns, and sex,

547. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ violence, guns, and sex, we're gonna snap their necks ♪

548. ♪ violence, guns, and sex, we're gonna snap their necks ♪ ♪ the grown-ups want to flex,

549. We're gonna snap their necks ♪ ♪ the grown-ups want to flex, we'll put their ass in check ♪

550. ♪ the grown-ups want to flex, we'll put their ass in check ♪ ♪ pow!

551. heh heh. okay, boys! Saddle up! hut! Hut, hut, hut!

552. okay, boys! Saddle up! hut! Hut, hut, hut! Hut, hut, hut, hut!

553. hut! Hut, hut, hut! Hut, hut, hut, hut! black dynamite: Magilahorn,

554. Hut, hut, hut, hut! black dynamite: Magilahorn, I'm goin' in.

555. black dynamite: Magilahorn, I'm goin' in. no. No one can go after him.

556. I'm goin' in. no. No one can go after him. Those men are all gonna die!

557. no. No one can go after him. Those men are all gonna die! honey bee: Speedy deliveryman

558. Those men are all gonna die! honey bee: Speedy deliveryman mr. Mcfeely?

559. honey bee: Speedy deliveryman mr. Mcfeely? Oh, damn!

560. Mr. Mcfeely? Oh, damn! Looks like your ass ain't gonna

561. Oh, damn! Looks like your ass ain't gonna be deliverin' no more mail!

562. Looks like your ass ain't gonna be deliverin' no more mail! Your back is broke,

563. Be deliverin' no more mail! Your back is broke, your limbs are twisted.

564. Your back is broke, your limbs are twisted. You look like you just got

565. Your limbs are twisted. You look like you just got double-fisted.

566. You look like you just got double-fisted. call them back!

567. Double-fisted. call them back! It's just what he wants!

568. call them back! It's just what he wants! You don't understand!

569. It's just what he wants! You don't understand! They're dead men

570. You don't understand! They're dead men "hut, hut, hutting"!

571. They're dead men "hut, hut, hutting"! are you trying to tell me

572. "hut, hut, hutting"! are you trying to tell me that 30 cops against one old

573. are you trying to tell me that 30 cops against one old tv host is a no-win situation

574. That 30 cops against one old tv host is a no-win situation for us?

575. Tv host is a no-win situation for us? wait! You don't know?

576. For us? wait! You don't know? You don't know about the secret

577. wait! You don't know? You don't know about the secret of fred rogers that no one knows

578. You don't know about the secret of fred rogers that no one knows about?

579. Of fred rogers that no one knows about? black dynamite: Tell me,

580. About? black dynamite: Tell me, dismembered mailman!

581. black dynamite: Tell me, dismembered mailman! Flash back!

582. Dismembered mailman! Flash back! Flash back for me, as I have no

583. Flash back! Flash back for me, as I have no past with mister rogers, so I

584. Flash back for me, as I have no past with mister rogers, so I cannot flash back for myself!

585. Past with mister rogers, so I cannot flash back for myself! captain fred rogers...

586. Cannot flash back for myself! captain fred rogers... Is the baddest mother

587. captain fred rogers... Is the baddest mother I ever knew!

588. Is the baddest mother I ever knew! I first knew him in 1958, before

589. I ever knew! I first knew him in 1958, before he turned.

590. I first knew him in 1958, before he turned.

591. He turned. we ain't getting through that!

592. we ain't getting through that! There's got to be at least 100

593. We ain't getting through that! There's got to be at least 100 commies in there!

594. There's got to be at least 100 commies in there! ugh! Ugh!

595. well, hello, there, little fella. Are you scared?

596. Fella. Are you scared? It's a scary place, isn't it?

597. Are you scared? It's a scary place, isn't it? It's okay to be scared.

598. It's a scary place, isn't it? It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what you

599. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to not know what you should do.

600. It's okay to not know what you should do. I'm sorry!

601. Should do. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to turn out this

602. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to turn out this way!

603. I didn't mean to turn out this way! If only there had been positive

604. Way! If only there had been positive influence in my neighborhood and

605. If only there had been positive influence in my neighborhood and that taught me important values

606. Influence in my neighborhood and that taught me important values of sharing, being friendly, and

607. That taught me important values of sharing, being friendly, and resolving problems in a

608. Of sharing, being friendly, and resolving problems in a constructive manner, this would

609. Resolving problems in a constructive manner, this would have turned out different.

610. Constructive manner, this would have turned out different. I've got an idea.

611. Have turned out different. I've got an idea. Why don't you just hand me that

612. I've got an idea. Why don't you just hand me that pineapple, very slowly?

613. Why don't you just hand me that pineapple, very slowly? Okay?

614. Pineapple, very slowly? Okay?

615. Okay? no!

616. no! Hy-y-y-y-y-y-y-ah!

617. No! Hy-y-y-y-y-y-y-ah! ugh!

618. Hy-y-y-y-y-y-y-ah! ugh! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

619. ugh! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

620. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ugh!

621. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! ugh! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

622. ugh! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

623. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

624. And that was just the beginning. Beirut, 1960.

625. Beginning. Beirut, 1960. Cuba, 1961.

626. Beirut, 1960. Cuba, 1961. Sinai, 1967.

627. Cuba, 1961. Sinai, 1967. Anytime there's kids involved,

628. Sinai, 1967. Anytime there's kids involved, nobody stands a chance.

629. Anytime there's kids involved, nobody stands a chance. Ugh!

630. Nobody stands a chance. Ugh! honey bee: Damn it,

631. Ugh! honey bee: Damn it, black dynamite!

632. honey bee: Damn it, black dynamite! I can't believe I let you

633. Black dynamite! I can't believe I let you convince me to leave my babies

634. I can't believe I let you convince me to leave my babies by themselves with this crazy

635. Convince me to leave my babies by themselves with this crazy psycho maniac!

636. By themselves with this crazy psycho maniac! black dynamite: Okay.

637. Psycho maniac! black dynamite: Okay. Now, how the hell was I supposed

638. black dynamite: Okay. Now, how the hell was I supposed to know the nicest, friendliest,

639. Now, how the hell was I supposed to know the nicest, friendliest, soft-spokenest motherin

640. To know the nicest, friendliest, soft-spokenest motherin the world would turn out to be a

641. Soft-spokenest motherin the world would turn out to be a crazy maniac psycho honky?

642. The world would turn out to be a crazy maniac psycho honky? all right, let's not waste

643. Crazy maniac psycho honky? all right, let's not waste time thinking about how

644. all right, let's not waste time thinking about how black dynamite up and

645. Time thinking about how black dynamite up and could have potentially cost the

646. Black dynamite up and could have potentially cost the orphans their lives.

647. Could have potentially cost the orphans their lives. Now, I assure you my men can

648. Orphans their lives. Now, I assure you my men can handle this fight.

649. Now, I assure you my men can handle this fight. hut, hut, hut, hut!

650. Handle this fight. hut, hut, hut, hut! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

651. hut, hut, hut, hut! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

652. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! nooooo!

653. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! nooooo! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

654. nooooo! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

655. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! oh, god!

656. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! oh, god! We cannot handle this fight!

657. oh, god! We cannot handle this fight!

658. We cannot handle this fight! honey bee:

659. honey bee: what the cream corn: Ohh!

660. what the cream corn: Ohh! oh

661. cream corn: Ohh! oh somebody survived?

662. oh somebody survived? See? I told you they were

663. Somebody survived? See? I told you they were professionals!

664. See? I told you they were professionals! I don't think he wants us to

665. Professionals! I don't think he wants us to be his neighbor.

666. I don't think he wants us to be his neighbor. cream corn: God damn!

667. Be his neighbor. cream corn: God damn! Mister rogers did this, too?

668. cream corn: God damn! Mister rogers did this, too? I ain't never saying, "please"

669. Mister rogers did this, too? I ain't never saying, "please" or "thank you" for the rest of

670. I ain't never saying, "please" or "thank you" for the rest of my whole life.

671. Or "thank you" for the rest of my whole life.

672. My whole life. honey bee: Uh-oh.

673. honey bee: Uh-oh. black dynamite: Look out!

674. honey bee: Uh-oh. black dynamite: Look out! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

675. black dynamite: Look out! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

676. Whoa, whoa, whoa! black dynamite: All right.

677. black dynamite: All right. That's it.

678. black dynamite: All right. That's it. I'm going in there and getting

679. That's it. I'm going in there and getting those orphans back that never

680. I'm going in there and getting those orphans back that never belonged to me in the first

681. Those orphans back that never belonged to me in the first place.

682. Belonged to me in the first place. not without us honkies from

683. Place. not without us honkies from the atf, you're not.

684. not without us honkies from the atf, you're not. the atf honkies are in

685. The atf, you're not. the atf honkies are in command now, black dynamite.

686. the atf honkies are in command now, black dynamite. You dig?

687. Command now, black dynamite. You dig? black dynamite: Whatever you

688. You dig? black dynamite: Whatever you got to tell yourself, chief.

689. black dynamite: Whatever you got to tell yourself, chief. But the only thing you'll be

690. Got to tell yourself, chief. But the only thing you'll be digging is more honkies from the

691. But the only thing you'll be digging is more honkies from the atf's graves.

692. Digging is more honkies from the atf's graves. listen, black dynamite, you

693. Atf's graves. listen, black dynamite, you just stay behind us and we'll

694. listen, black dynamite, you just stay behind us and we'll take care of everything.

695. Just stay behind us and we'll take care of everything. black dynamite: You know, for

696. Take care of everything. black dynamite: You know, for the first time in my life, I'm

697. black dynamite: You know, for the first time in my life, I'm inclined to do what a cracker

698. The first time in my life, I'm inclined to do what a cracker cop tells me to.

699. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! black dynamite: Suey! aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

700. black dynamite, what are you doing? black dynamite: Just staying

701. You doing? black dynamite: Just staying behind you, sucka!

702. black dynamite, I'm not gonna make it! Go on without me!

703. Make it! Go on without me! black dynamite: All right!

704. Go on without me! black dynamite: All right! wait, what?

705. black dynamite: All right! wait, what? black dynamite: Suey!

706. wait, what? black dynamite: Suey! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

707. well, hi, there. I sure didn't expect anybody to survive all that.

708. I sure didn't expect anybody to survive all that. But, gosh, surprises make me

709. Survive all that. But, gosh, surprises make me happy.

710. But, gosh, surprises make me happy. black dynamite: I wish I

711. Happy. black dynamite: I wish I could say the same,

712. black dynamite: I wish I could say the same, mister rogers, and I am

713. Could say the same, mister rogers, and I am impressed by your ability to

714. Mister rogers, and I am impressed by your ability to slaughter motherwith a

715. Impressed by your ability to slaughter motherwith a cardigan.

716. Slaughter motherwith a cardigan. But this ain't no pleasantry

717. Cardigan. But this ain't no pleasantry visit to your make-believe land

718. But this ain't no pleasantry visit to your make-believe land of murder and death.

719. Visit to your make-believe land of murder and death. Some of those kids there belong

720. Of murder and death. Some of those kids there belong to my whorephanage.

721. Some of those kids there belong to my whorephanage. what ever is a whorephanage?

722. To my whorephanage. what ever is a whorephanage? black dynamite: It's like an

723. what ever is a whorephanage? black dynamite: It's like an orphanage but with a lot more

724. black dynamite: It's like an orphanage but with a lot more

725. Orphanage but with a lot more oh, I see.

726. oh, I see. You must be the black dynamite

727. oh, I see. You must be the black dynamite some of these kids have been

728. You must be the black dynamite some of these kids have been talking about.

729. Some of these kids have been talking about. You raise them around sex,

730. Talking about. You raise them around sex, violence, and foul language.

731. You raise them around sex, violence, and foul language. What do you think that's going

732. Violence, and foul language. What do you think that's going to do to them?

733. What do you think that's going to do to them? black dynamite: Listen,

734. To do to them? black dynamite: Listen, rogers, I'm starting to lose my

735. black dynamite: Listen, rogers, I'm starting to lose my patience with you, so I'm

736. Rogers, I'm starting to lose my patience with you, so I'm dropping the "mister."

737. Patience with you, so I'm dropping the "mister." now I got to evict everybody in

738. Dropping the "mister." now I got to evict everybody in this neighborhood.

739. Now I got to evict everybody in this neighborhood. you know, it's easy to take a

740. This neighborhood. you know, it's easy to take a gun and annihilate your

741. you know, it's easy to take a gun and annihilate your opponent, but it's so much more

742. Gun and annihilate your opponent, but it's so much more fun sometimes to just wrap your

743. Opponent, but it's so much more fun sometimes to just wrap your sweater around a mother

744. Fun sometimes to just wrap your sweater around a mother black dynamite: Mr. Rogers,

745. Sweater around a mother black dynamite: Mr. Rogers, you ain't the only one that

746. black dynamite: Mr. Rogers, you ain't the only one that mastered the ancient art of

747. You ain't the only one that mastered the ancient art of cardigan kung-fu!

748. Mastered the ancient art of cardigan kung-fu! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

749. Cardigan kung-fu! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

750. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! black dynamite: Ugh!

751. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! black dynamite: Ugh! ♪ swung and he missed,

752. black dynamite: Ugh! ♪ swung and he missed, black dynamite don't take

753. ♪ swung and he missed, black dynamite don't take no shit ♪

754. Black dynamite don't take no shit ♪ ♪ oh, there goes the cardigan

755. No shit ♪ ♪ oh, there goes the cardigan in his eye ♪

756. ♪ oh, there goes the cardigan in his eye ♪ ♪ he hit him, and he moved

757. In his eye ♪ ♪ he hit him, and he moved ♪ knocked him down, ain't got

758. ♪ he hit him, and he moved ♪ knocked him down, ain't got nothin' to prove ♪

759. ♪ knocked him down, ain't got nothin' to prove ♪ ♪ black dynamite, ooh!

760. Nothin' to prove ♪ ♪ black dynamite, ooh! ♪ mister rogers 'bout to get up

761. ♪ black dynamite, ooh! ♪ mister rogers 'bout to get up with the knife! ♪

762. ♪ mister rogers 'bout to get up with the knife! ♪ ♪ break his arm!

763. With the knife! ♪ ♪ break his arm! ♪ he 'bout to do him wrong

764. ♪ break his arm! ♪ he 'bout to do him wrong wrap it around his neck ♪

765. ♪ he 'bout to do him wrong wrap it around his neck ♪ ♪ look at the kids, they're

766. Wrap it around his neck ♪ ♪ look at the kids, they're gettin' concerned, oh, lord ♪

767. ♪ look at the kids, they're gettin' concerned, oh, lord ♪ kids? Uh, okay.

768. Gettin' concerned, oh, lord ♪ kids? Uh, okay. What did mister rogers teach you

769. kids? Uh, okay. What did mister rogers teach you about dealing with these

770. What did mister rogers teach you about dealing with these bitchass grown-ups?

771. About dealing with these bitchass grown-ups? ♪ kids, you better not

772. Bitchass grown-ups? ♪ kids, you better not say shit ♪

773. ♪ kids, you better not say shit ♪ come on, kids! Say it!

774. Say shit ♪ come on, kids! Say it! we can't.

775. come on, kids! Say it! we can't. Black dynamite always taught us

776. we can't. Black dynamite always taught us to shut the up when

777. Black dynamite always taught us to shut the up when grown folks is talking.

778. To shut the up when grown folks is talking. black dynamite: That's my

779. Grown folks is talking. black dynamite: That's my boy, lil' orphan arnold.

780. black dynamite: That's my boy, lil' orphan arnold. Now shut the up!

781. Boy, lil' orphan arnold. Now shut the up! you grown-ups can't be

782. Now shut the up! you grown-ups can't be trusted, black dynamite.

783. you grown-ups can't be trusted, black dynamite. All you're gonna do is smother

784. Trusted, black dynamite. All you're gonna do is smother 'em with ass, guns, and drugs.

785. All you're gonna do is smother 'em with ass, guns, and drugs. black dynamite: You know,

786. 'em with ass, guns, and drugs. black dynamite: You know, it's funny you bring that up,

787. black dynamite: You know, it's funny you bring that up, because that's what I've been

788. It's funny you bring that up, because that's what I've been thinkin' about this whole

789. Because that's what I've been thinkin' about this whole episode.

790. Thinkin' about this whole episode. See, I realize I've been doing

791. Episode. See, I realize I've been doing the same thing all along.

792. See, I realize I've been doing the same thing all along. I can't hide the fact that these

793. The same thing all along. I can't hide the fact that these orphans don't have any damn

794. I can't hide the fact that these orphans don't have any damn parents, and you can't shelter

795. Orphans don't have any damn parents, and you can't shelter them from the real world by

796. Parents, and you can't shelter them from the real world by puttin' they asses in a

797. Them from the real world by puttin' they asses in a make-believe land that's real.

798. Puttin' they asses in a make-believe land that's real. You always say you got to accept

799. Make-believe land that's real. You always say you got to accept people for who they are.

800. You always say you got to accept people for who they are. Well, you got to accept the

801. People for who they are. Well, you got to accept the world for who he is, too.

802. Well, you got to accept the world for who he is, too. uh, n-no matter what you say,

803. World for who he is, too. uh, n-no matter what you say, black dynamite, you're a

804. uh, n-no matter what you say, black dynamite, you're a grown-up, and I won't listen to

805. Black dynamite, you're a grown-up, and I won't listen to you!

806. Grown-up, and I won't listen to you! but, mister rogers, aren't

807. You! but, mister rogers, aren't you a grown-up, too?

808. but, mister rogers, aren't you a grown-up, too?

809. You a grown-up, too? oh, my bejeebers.

810. oh, my bejeebers. You're right.

811. Oh, my bejeebers. You're right. Black dynamite, you've made

812. You're right. Black dynamite, you've made today a special day.

813. Black dynamite, you've made today a special day. I have to accept myself for who

814. Today a special day. I have to accept myself for who I am.

815. I have to accept myself for who I am. I am a grown-up.

816. I am. I am a grown-up. I am a grown-up.

817. I am a grown-up. I am a grown-up. Thank you, black dynamite.

818. I am a grown-up. Thank you, black dynamite. Now I know what's wrong with me.

819. Thank you, black dynamite. Now I know what's wrong with me. I can't be trusted.

820. Now I know what's wrong with me. I can't be trusted. black dynamite: Glad I could

821. I can't be trusted. black dynamite: Glad I could help, mister rogers.

822. black dynamite: Glad I could help, mister rogers. You know, sometimes love —

823. Help, mister rogers. You know, sometimes love — I think I'm just gonna take

824. You know, sometimes love — I think I'm just gonna take this sweater and wrap it around

825. I think I'm just gonna take this sweater and wrap it around my neck and snap my —

826. This sweater and wrap it around my neck and snap my — black dynamite: Mister

827. My neck and snap my — black dynamite: Mister rogers!

828. black dynamite: Mister rogers! Noooo!

829. Rogers! Noooo!

830. Noooo! well, I've got to say goodbye

831. well, I've got to say goodbye for today, but I'll see you

832. well, I've got to say goodbye for today, but I'll see you again soon, neighbor.

833. For today, but I'll see you again soon, neighbor. Bye, now!

834. Again soon, neighbor. Bye, now! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

835. Bye, now! ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em!

836. ♪ pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em!

837. ♪ bitch, I'm bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em!

838. ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em!

839. ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

840. ♪ I be bustin' at 'em! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! bitch!

841. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! bitch! black dynamite: All right,

842. bitch! black dynamite: All right, little orphans.

843. black dynamite: All right, little orphans. Since I cannot shelter you from

844. Little orphans. Since I cannot shelter you from your painful parentless little

845. Since I cannot shelter you from your painful parentless little worlds, I will remind you of

846. Your painful parentless little worlds, I will remind you of your pain every day and thusly

847. Worlds, I will remind you of your pain every day and thusly make you all a better person.

848. Your pain every day and thusly make you all a better person.

849. Make you all a better person. here you go,

850. here you go, little orphan willis.

851. Here you go, little orphan willis. Your parents were killed in a

852. Little orphan willis. Your parents were killed in a car crash, so here's a 1966

853. Your parents were killed in a car crash, so here's a 1966 coupe deville, the same make and

854. Car crash, so here's a 1966 coupe deville, the same make and model they burned to death in.

855. Coupe deville, the same make and model they burned to death in.

856. Model they burned to death in. black dynamite: Here you go,

857. black dynamite: Here you go, little orphan penny.

858. black dynamite: Here you go, little orphan penny. Your mama was a heroin junkie,

859. Little orphan penny. Your mama was a heroin junkie, so we got you a doll with holes

860. Your mama was a heroin junkie, so we got you a doll with holes in the arms to remind you of why

861. So we got you a doll with holes in the arms to remind you of why you will never see her again.

862. In the arms to remind you of why you will never see her again.

863. You will never see her again. black dynamite: And,

864. black dynamite: And, little orphan stevie, we got you

865. black dynamite: And, little orphan stevie, we got you a pair of track shoes to remind

866. Little orphan stevie, we got you a pair of track shoes to remind you of how quick your daddy ran

867. A pair of track shoes to remind you of how quick your daddy ran out of your life.

868. You of how quick your daddy ran out of your life.

869. Out of your life. black dynamite: Ha ha!

870. black dynamite: Ha ha! Now, isn't this the best

871. black dynamite: Ha ha! Now, isn't this the best birthday y'all ever had?

872. Now, isn't this the best birthday y'all ever had? honey bee: Damn it,

873. Birthday y'all ever had? honey bee: Damn it, black — ugh!

874. honey bee: Damn it, black — ugh!

875. Black — ugh! black dynamite: What?

876. black dynamite: What? ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

877. black dynamite: What? ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

878. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

879. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! hey, black dynamite!

880. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! hey, black dynamite! You ain't