Black Dynamite 2x5

1. now, mr. Melvin van peebles. as you know, there have been many great black films —

2. as you know, there have been many great black films — "black caesar,"blacula,"

3. Many great black films — "black caesar,"blacula," "black on this sucka,"

4. "black caesar,"blacula," "black on this sucka," "you blacked my mama,"

5. "black on this sucka," "you blacked my mama," "who you callin' black?"

6. "you blacked my mama," "who you callin' black?" "get black jack,"

7. "who you callin' black?" "get black jack," "all that black," and the very

8. "get black jack," "all that black," and the very popular "some of my best friends

9. "all that black," and the very popular "some of my best friends are black."

10. Popular "some of my best friends are black." but today, right here in the

11. Are black." but today, right here in the heart of the black community, we

12. But today, right here in the heart of the black community, we begin production on our greatest

13. Heart of the black community, we begin production on our greatest and blackest film ever, called

14. Begin production on our greatest and blackest film ever, called "blackity black black black"!

15. And blackest film ever, called "blackity black black black"!

16. "blackity black black black"! excuse me. Excuse me.

17. excuse me. Excuse me. Melvin!

18. excuse me. Excuse me. Melvin! I would like to talk to you!

19. Melvin! I would like to talk to you! not now, bill cosby.

20. I would like to talk to you! not now, bill cosby. There has never been this much

21. not now, bill cosby. There has never been this much black crammed in a title or a

22. There has never been this much black crammed in a title or a movie before.

23. Black crammed in a title or a movie before. You need to come on down to the

24. Movie before. You need to come on down to the set right now to meet our most

25. You need to come on down to the set right now to meet our most beloved stars and heroes —

26. Set right now to meet our most beloved stars and heroes — rudy ray moore, pam grier,

27. Beloved stars and heroes — rudy ray moore, pam grier, antonio fargas, and the main man

28. Rudy ray moore, pam grier, antonio fargas, and the main man himself, mr. Jim kelly!

29. Antonio fargas, and the main man himself, mr. Jim kelly! look here, my beautiful

30. Himself, mr. Jim kelly! look here, my beautiful white she-devil.

31. look here, my beautiful white she-devil. Business has been a little slow

32. White she-devil. Business has been a little slow for the black pumas these days.

33. Business has been a little slow for the black pumas these days. But if you could please cut our

34. For the black pumas these days. But if you could please cut our cable back on, I would be...

35. But if you could please cut our cable back on, I would be... brother stuey, look at the tv

36. Cable back on, I would be... brother stuey, look at the tv screen!

37. brother stuey, look at the tv screen! come witness the most

38. Screen! come witness the most historic film in the making.

39. come witness the most historic film in the making. You better be there or be

40. Historic film in the making. You better be there or be square, baby!

41. You better be there or be square, baby! I can't believe this sucker

42. Square, baby! I can't believe this sucker is film in in our community.

43. I can't believe this sucker is film in in our community. And he ain't pay us a dime!

44. Is film in in our community. And he ain't pay us a dime! and we want all 10 pennies,

45. And he ain't pay us a dime! and we want all 10 pennies, too!

46. and we want all 10 pennies, too!

47. Too!

48. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

49. ♪ he's dynamite ♪ so dynamite ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh

50. ♪ so dynamite ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ ooohhh

51. ♪ ooohhh ♪ ahhhh

52. ♪ he's dynamite ♪ dy-no, dy-no

53. ♪ dy-no, dy-no ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh

54. ♪ ooohhh, ooohhh ♪ oooohhhh ♪ dynamite! Dynamite!

55. ♪ oooohhhh ♪ dynamite! Dynamite! this week...

56. come witness the most historic film in — honey bee: Black dynamite, I

57. Historic film in — honey bee: Black dynamite, I can't believe you don't want to

58. honey bee: Black dynamite, I can't believe you don't want to go down there and see the

59. Can't believe you don't want to go down there and see the biggest, blackest movie stars

60. Go down there and see the biggest, blackest movie stars ever.

61. Biggest, blackest movie stars ever. black dynamite: What's the

62. Ever. black dynamite: What's the big deal about seeing

63. black dynamite: What's the big deal about seeing "blackity black black black"

64. Big deal about seeing "blackity black black black" actors on the movie screen when

65. "blackity black black black" actors on the movie screen when we live the lives of real

66. Actors on the movie screen when we live the lives of real blackity, black, black, black

67. We live the lives of real blackity, black, black, black every day?

68. Blackity, black, black, black every day? cream corn: Damn, blacky d,

69. every day? cream corn: Damn, blacky d, how come because you don't ever

70. cream corn: Damn, blacky d, how come because you don't ever like to do we all can't

71. How come because you don't ever like to do we all can't like to do

72. Like to do we all can't like to do black dynamite: I tell you

73. Like to do black dynamite: I tell you what you can like — your ass

74. black dynamite: I tell you what you can like — your ass gettin' whupped for callin' me

75. What you can like — your ass gettin' whupped for callin' me "blacky d" again.

76. Gettin' whupped for callin' me "blacky d" again. honey bee: I bet you would

77. "blacky d" again. honey bee: I bet you would make a bad-ass movie star,

78. honey bee: I bet you would make a bad-ass movie star, black dynamite.

79. Make a bad-ass movie star, black dynamite. Mm-hmm!

80. Black dynamite. Mm-hmm! black dynamite: This is true.

81. Mm-hmm! black dynamite: This is true. Me and old melvin go way back,

82. black dynamite: This is true. Me and old melvin go way back, all the way back to the days of

83. Me and old melvin go way back, all the way back to the days of

84. All the way back to the days of cream corn: The days of

85. cream corn: The days of truckin'?

86. cream corn: The days of truckin'? I didn't know you liked

87. Truckin'? I didn't know you liked truckin', black dynamite.

88. I didn't know you liked truckin', black dynamite. I love those horns.

89. Truckin', black dynamite. I love those horns. Toot, toot!

90. I love those horns. Toot, toot! black dynamite: Not the

91. Toot, toot! black dynamite: Not the days of truckin' — the days of

92. black dynamite: Not the days of truckin' — the days of

93. Days of truckin' — the days of Man, in those days,

94. Man, in those days, we in cars, bars, trees,

95. Man, in those days, we in cars, bars, trees, and even under the sea.

96. We in cars, bars, trees, and even under the sea. I a bitch on top of the

97. And even under the sea. I a bitch on top of the empire state building!

98. I a bitch on top of the empire state building! black dynamite: Look,

99. Empire state building! black dynamite: Look, somebody's robbing roscoe's bean

100. black dynamite: Look, somebody's robbing roscoe's bean pies and pork rinds!

101. Somebody's robbing roscoe's bean pies and pork rinds!

102. Pies and pork rinds! whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Cut! Cut!

103. whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Cut! Cut! honey bee: Oops.

104. honey bee: Oops. cream corn: And skeeted on

105. honey bee: Oops. cream corn: And skeeted on the statue of liberty!

106. cream corn: And skeeted on the statue of liberty!

107. The statue of liberty! black dynamite, I should have

108. black dynamite, I should have known.

109. Black dynamite, I should have known. Take 10, everybody, and let's

110. Known. Take 10, everybody, and let's get some of these dead stunt men

111. Take 10, everybody, and let's get some of these dead stunt men out of here.

112. Get some of these dead stunt men out of here. Oh, man, I haven't seen you

113. Out of here. Oh, man, I haven't seen you since the days of truckin'.

114. Oh, man, I haven't seen you since the days of truckin'. black dynamite: You mean

115. Since the days of truckin'. black dynamite: You mean

116. black dynamite: You mean yeah, I always get those

117. yeah, I always get those two mixed up.

118. yeah, I always get those two mixed up. How's it swinging?

119. Two mixed up. How's it swinging? black dynamite: Low like a

120. How's it swinging? black dynamite: Low like a sweet chariot.

121. black dynamite: Low like a sweet chariot.

122. Sweet chariot. that's what I'm talkin' about.

123. that's what I'm talkin' about. black dynamite: Sorry about

124. That's what I'm talkin' about. black dynamite: Sorry about killing and/or mortally wounding

125. black dynamite: Sorry about killing and/or mortally wounding all your stunt men.

126. Killing and/or mortally wounding all your stunt men. don't worry.

127. All your stunt men. don't worry. These love to die.

128. don't worry. These love to die. So, this must be the infamous

129. These love to die. So, this must be the infamous black dynamite crew I've heard

130. So, this must be the infamous black dynamite crew I've heard so much about.

131. Black dynamite crew I've heard so much about. cream corn: In the flesh!

132. So much about. cream corn: In the flesh! My name is cream corn, certified

133. cream corn: In the flesh! My name is cream corn, certified pimp and rest haven for hoes.

134. My name is cream corn, certified pimp and rest haven for hoes.

135. Pimp and rest haven for hoes. well, it's a pleasure to meet

136. well, it's a pleasure to meet you.

137. well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Come on, let me introduce you to

138. You. Come on, let me introduce you to our stars.

139. Come on, let me introduce you to our stars. cream corn: Hey, you look

140. Our stars. cream corn: Hey, you look just like me.

141. cream corn: Hey, you look just like me. Or do I look just like you?

142. Just like me. Or do I look just like you? Or did your daddy my

143. Or do I look just like you? Or did your daddy my mama?

144. Or did your daddy my mama? Melvin van p, who

145. Mama? Melvin van p, who the is he supposed to

146. Melvin van p, who the is he supposed to be?

147. The is he supposed to be? rudy ray moore is my name,

148. Be? rudy ray moore is my name, and up is my

149. rudy ray moore is my name, and up is my game.

150. And up is my game. Well, rudy, you

151. Game. Well, rudy, you might be the man on the silver

152. Well, rudy, you might be the man on the silver screen, but bullhorn's the

153. Might be the man on the silver screen, but bullhorn's the meanest you ever did

154. Screen, but bullhorn's the meanest you ever did seen.

155. Meanest you ever did seen. why, you born-insecure

156. Seen. why, you born-insecure

157. why, you born-insecure I made godzilla suck my

158. I made godzilla suck my while king kong held the balls.

159. I made godzilla suck my while king kong held the balls. I whupped a skyscraper's ass and

160. While king kong held the balls. I whupped a skyscraper's ass and made all the london bridges

161. I whupped a skyscraper's ass and made all the london bridges fall.

162. Made all the london bridges fall. Man, I ate an oil

163. Fall. Man, I ate an oil tanker, and it didn't give me

164. Man, I ate an oil tanker, and it didn't give me gas.

165. Tanker, and it didn't give me gas. I walked by the devil and burnt

166. Gas. I walked by the devil and burnt his ass.

167. I walked by the devil and burnt his ass. I swam in the sun and

168. His ass. I swam in the sun and skinny-dipped on the moon.

169. I swam in the sun and skinny-dipped on the moon. I uranus in her ass and

170. Skinny-dipped on the moon. I uranus in her ass and made the bitch crawl to neptune.

171. I uranus in her ass and made the bitch crawl to neptune. you!

172. Made the bitch crawl to neptune. you! okay, okay, that's enough,

173. you! okay, okay, that's enough, rudy.

174. okay, okay, that's enough, rudy. Save that for the film.

175. Rudy. Save that for the film. honey bee: Black dynamite,

176. Save that for the film. honey bee: Black dynamite, this got to be breaking some

177. honey bee: Black dynamite, this got to be breaking some kind of copyright rules or

178. This got to be breaking some kind of copyright rules or something.

179. Kind of copyright rules or something. This bitch looks just like me,

180. Something. This bitch looks just like me, except for them little titties.

181. This bitch looks just like me, except for them little titties. black dynamite: Look, I'm

182. Except for them little titties. black dynamite: Look, I'm sure that any of these

183. black dynamite: Look, I'm sure that any of these characters' similarities to

184. Sure that any of these characters' similarities to anyone alive or dead is purely

185. Characters' similarities to anyone alive or dead is purely coincidental.

186. Anyone alive or dead is purely coincidental. Right, melvin?

187. Coincidental. Right, melvin? uh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

188. Right, melvin? uh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

189. uh, uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. that's right, baby.

190. that's right, baby. I looked him right in his little

191. that's right, baby. I looked him right in his little chinese eyes and said,

192. I looked him right in his little chinese eyes and said, mr. Han man!"

193. Chinese eyes and said, mr. Han man!"

194. Mr. Han man!" jim kelly, black dynamite.

195. jim kelly, black dynamite. Black dynamite, jim kelly.

196. jim kelly, black dynamite. Black dynamite, jim kelly. black dynamite: Melvin, the

197. Black dynamite, jim kelly. black dynamite: Melvin, the similarities between jim kelly

198. black dynamite: Melvin, the similarities between jim kelly and black dynamite cannot be

199. Similarities between jim kelly and black dynamite cannot be purely coincidental.

200. And black dynamite cannot be purely coincidental. oh, okay, you got me. I —

201. Purely coincidental. oh, okay, you got me. I — look, melvin, I got no time

202. oh, okay, you got me. I — look, melvin, I got no time for male groupies, you dig?

203. look, melvin, I got no time for male groupies, you dig? Man, you look like you come

204. For male groupies, you dig? Man, you look like you come right out of a comic book.

205. Man, you look like you come right out of a comic book. black dynamite: Look here,

206. Right out of a comic book. black dynamite: Look here, jim kelly.

207. black dynamite: Look here, jim kelly. Black dynamite is blacker than

208. Jim kelly. Black dynamite is blacker than the ace of spades and more of a

209. Black dynamite is blacker than the ace of spades and more of a star than you and this whole

210. The ace of spades and more of a star than you and this whole black cast put together.

211. Star than you and this whole black cast put together. And while you in front of them

212. Black cast put together. And while you in front of them movie cameras pretending to

213. And while you in front of them movie cameras pretending to up suckers and stick it

214. Movie cameras pretending to up suckers and stick it to the man, I'm in the streets

215. up suckers and stick it to the man, I'm in the streets for real, protecting the

216. To the man, I'm in the streets for real, protecting the community and taking out any

217. For real, protecting the community and taking out any jive-ass turkey that gets in my

218. Community and taking out any jive-ass turkey that gets in my way.

219. Jive-ass turkey that gets in my way. Now, I suggest you shut the

220. Way. Now, I suggest you shut the up when a real black

221. Now, I suggest you shut the up when a real black hero is telling you to shut the

222. up when a real black hero is telling you to shut the up!

223. Hero is telling you to shut the up! um...

224. up! um... black dynamite, suddenly, I

225. um... black dynamite, suddenly, I would like to leave your island.

226. black dynamite, suddenly, I would like to leave your island.

227. Would like to leave your island. I love it when he talks in movie

228. I love it when he talks in movie lines.

229. I love it when he talks in movie lines. mr. Van peebles!

230. Lines. mr. Van peebles! Mr. Van peebles!

231. mr. Van peebles! Mr. Van peebles! hey, my assistant, young

232. Mr. Van peebles! hey, my assistant, young spike lee.

233. hey, my assistant, young spike lee. What's shakin', baby?

234. Spike lee. What's shakin', baby? you're gonna be late to your

235. What's shakin', baby? you're gonna be late to your 3:00 ménage et trois, which is

236. you're gonna be late to your 3:00 ménage et trois, which is running right into your 3:30

237. 3:00 ménage et trois, which is running right into your 3:30 quickie, and not to mention your

238. Running right into your 3:30 quickie, and not to mention your suck at 4:00.

239. Quickie, and not to mention your suck at 4:00. okay, okay, put them all

240. suck at 4:00. okay, okay, put them all together.

241. okay, okay, put them all together. Hey, show business calls.

242. Together. Hey, show business calls. Why don't y'all hang around for

243. Hey, show business calls. Why don't y'all hang around for a while?

244. Why don't y'all hang around for a while? We got free roscoe's buttery

245. A while? We got free roscoe's buttery bitches and waffles, all you can

246. We got free roscoe's buttery bitches and waffles, all you can eat.

247. Bitches and waffles, all you can eat. black dynamite: I don't

248. Eat. black dynamite: I don't know, melvin.

249. black dynamite: I don't know, melvin. cream corn: Free roscoe's

250. Know, melvin. cream corn: Free roscoe's bitches and waffles?

251. cream corn: Free roscoe's bitches and waffles? You know I like my bitches

252. Bitches and waffles? You know I like my bitches buttery, black dynamite.

253. You know I like my bitches buttery, black dynamite. Waffles, bitches, butter, all

254. Buttery, black dynamite. Waffles, bitches, butter, all that!

255. Waffles, bitches, butter, all that! by the way, bill cosby left

256. That! by the way, bill cosby left you a bunch of messages.

257. by the way, bill cosby left you a bunch of messages. You might want to listen to

258. You a bunch of messages. You might want to listen to them.

259. You might want to listen to them.

260. Them. ohhhh, it's me, bill cosby.

261. ohhhh, it's me, bill cosby. Hey, um, melvin, I had some

262. ohhhh, it's me, bill cosby. Hey, um, melvin, I had some concerns about the film.

263. Hey, um, melvin, I had some concerns about the film.

264. Concerns about the film. Cosby again.

265. Cosby again. Can you call me back?

266. Cosby again. Can you call me back? I have concerns about the mov—

267. Can you call me back? I have concerns about the mov—

268. I have concerns about the mov— Me back, please? The movie —

269. Me back, please? The movie — Dying to talk to you like a

270. Dying to talk to you like a civilized —

271. Dying to talk to you like a civilized —

272. Civilized — call me ba—

273. Call me ba— filth flarn flarn!

274. Filth flarn flarn! hey, melv—

275. Hey, melv— filth —

276. Filth — flarn —

277. Flarn — ohh!

278. Ohh!

279. oh, yeah, I almost forgot —

280. oh, yeah, I almost forgot — there's three girls here that

281. oh, yeah, I almost forgot — there's three girls here that said you promised them an

282. There's three girls here that said you promised them an audition.

283. Said you promised them an audition. they got five minutes.

284. Audition. they got five minutes. Send them in.

285. they got five minutes. Send them in. All right, girls, I only have a

286. Send them in. All right, girls, I only have a couple of roles left, so the

287. All right, girls, I only have a couple of roles left, so the competition...

288. Couple of roles left, so the competition...

289. Competition... Is stiff.

290. Is stiff. the put the dick away,

291. Is stiff. the put the dick away, melvin.

292. the put the dick away, melvin. We ain't come here for that.

293. Melvin. We ain't come here for that. we didn't?

294. We ain't come here for that. we didn't? black puma leader

295. we didn't? black puma leader stuey fig newton and two other

296. black puma leader stuey fig newton and two other members of the black puma party?

297. Stuey fig newton and two other members of the black puma party? How did y'all get in here?

298. Members of the black puma party? How did y'all get in here? disguised as three bitches

299. How did y'all get in here? disguised as three bitches that want to you.

300. disguised as three bitches that want to you. That's how.

301. That want to you. That's how. damn, y'all pumas are some

302. That's how. damn, y'all pumas are some sneaky bitches.

303. damn, y'all pumas are some sneaky bitches. wait. So, we not

304. Sneaky bitches. wait. So, we not you know the shakedown rules,

305. wait. So, we not you know the shakedown rules, brother.

306. you know the shakedown rules, brother. You don't as much as take a

307. Brother. You don't as much as take a in our community without

308. You don't as much as take a in our community without paying us before you wipe your

309. in our community without paying us before you wipe your ass.

310. Paying us before you wipe your ass. come on, stuey.

311. Ass. come on, stuey. I'm always paying you pumas.

312. come on, stuey. I'm always paying you pumas. Damn, how much does the

313. I'm always paying you pumas. Damn, how much does the revolution cost?

314. Damn, how much does the revolution cost? this ain't for no revolution,

315. Revolution cost? this ain't for no revolution, sucker.

316. this ain't for no revolution, sucker. It's for our cable bill.

317. Sucker. It's for our cable bill. sh-sh-sh-shut up.

318. It's for our cable bill. sh-sh-sh-shut up.

319. sh-sh-sh-shut up. black dynamite: Little

320. black dynamite: Little spike lee, I suggest you do the

321. black dynamite: Little spike lee, I suggest you do the right thing and tell me what the

322. Spike lee, I suggest you do the right thing and tell me what the y'all are doing around

323. Right thing and tell me what the y'all are doing around my car.

324. y'all are doing around my car. I'm sorry, black dynamite,

325. My car. I'm sorry, black dynamite, but sensei jim kelly says he

326. I'm sorry, black dynamite, but sensei jim kelly says he likes your car and that he wants

327. But sensei jim kelly says he likes your car and that he wants to drive it in the movie.

328. Likes your car and that he wants to drive it in the movie. black dynamite: Sensei

329. To drive it in the movie. black dynamite: Sensei jim kelly is about to drive my

330. black dynamite: Sensei jim kelly is about to drive my foot up his ass.

331. Jim kelly is about to drive my foot up his ass. when it comes, I won't even

332. Foot up his ass. when it comes, I won't even notice.

333. when it comes, I won't even notice. black dynamite: And why is

334. Notice. black dynamite: And why is that?

335. black dynamite: And why is that? because I will be too busy

336. That? because I will be too busy lookin' good.

337. because I will be too busy lookin' good. come on, man.

338. Lookin' good. come on, man. That's all I got.

339. come on, man. That's all I got. I put every penny I had into

340. That's all I got. I put every penny I had into this "blackity black black

341. I put every penny I had into this "blackity black black black" film!

342. This "blackity black black black" film! well, I guess that's your

343. Black" film! well, I guess that's your blackity, black, black ass!

344. well, I guess that's your blackity, black, black ass! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

345. Blackity, black, black ass! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite: Sorry,

346. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite: Sorry, melvin, I didn't mean to

347. black dynamite: Sorry, melvin, I didn't mean to interrupt your

348. Melvin, I didn't mean to interrupt your ménage-a-four and destroy your

349. Interrupt your ménage-a-four and destroy your trailer and put my foot up your

350. Ménage-a-four and destroy your trailer and put my foot up your black star's ass, but that

351. Trailer and put my foot up your black star's ass, but that turkey was way out of line.

352. Black star's ass, but that turkey was way out of line. no problem.

353. Turkey was way out of line. no problem. These bitches were just leaving,

354. no problem. These bitches were just leaving, unless of course they want to

355. These bitches were just leaving, unless of course they want to hang around and give you some

356. Unless of course they want to hang around and give you some action, too.

357. Hang around and give you some action, too. no, that's okay.

358. Action, too. no, that's okay. Bye, melvin! I'll see you soon!

359. no, that's okay. Bye, melvin! I'll see you soon! don't call me!

360. Bye, melvin! I'll see you soon! don't call me! I'll call you, bitches!

361. don't call me! I'll call you, bitches! let's get this straight.

362. I'll call you, bitches! let's get this straight. Are we him or not?

363. let's get this straight. Are we him or not? black dynamite: Look melvin,

364. Are we him or not? black dynamite: Look melvin, maybe black dynamite's just too

365. black dynamite: Look melvin, maybe black dynamite's just too real to be around who

366. Maybe black dynamite's just too real to be around who act like they're real.

367. Real to be around who act like they're real. I think we're gonna go.

368. Act like they're real. I think we're gonna go. are you kidding me, man?

369. I think we're gonna go. are you kidding me, man? I could use a real bad-ass like

370. are you kidding me, man? I could use a real bad-ass like you around here, jack, for, uh,

371. I could use a real bad-ass like you around here, jack, for, uh, inspiration.

372. You around here, jack, for, uh, inspiration. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

373. Inspiration. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite bitch, you know my balls

374. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite bitch, you know my balls don't wear cotton drawers.

375. bitch, you know my balls don't wear cotton drawers. mr. Moore, your hair is

376. Don't wear cotton drawers. mr. Moore, your hair is needed in hair in 10 minutes.

377. mr. Moore, your hair is needed in hair in 10 minutes. I'm comin'

378. Needed in hair in 10 minutes. I'm comin' mrs. Grier, your titties are

379. I'm comin' mrs. Grier, your titties are needed in m— ah! Ah!

380. mrs. Grier, your titties are needed in m— ah! Ah!

381. Needed in m— ah! Ah! sensei kelly?

382. sensei kelly? I'm comin'.

383. sensei kelly? I'm comin'. Still tryin' to get

384. I'm comin'. Still tryin' to get black dynamite's shoe out my

385. Still tryin' to get black dynamite's shoe out my ass.

386. Black dynamite's shoe out my ass. Ohh! Unconscious.

387. Ass. Ohh! Unconscious.

388. Ohh! Unconscious. all right, quiet on the set!

389. all right, quiet on the set! Okay, antonio, this the big

390. all right, quiet on the set! Okay, antonio, this the big scene where your mama has been

391. Okay, antonio, this the big scene where your mama has been on the stroll all day, but she

392. Scene where your mama has been on the stroll all day, but she ain't got your money.

393. On the stroll all day, but she ain't got your money. So, why don't you give her a

394. Ain't got your money. So, why don't you give her a little motivation?

395. So, why don't you give her a little motivation? now, do you want a 45-degree

396. Little motivation? now, do you want a 45-degree "cleopatra jones" slap, or you

397. now, do you want a 45-degree "cleopatra jones" slap, or you want a

398. "cleopatra jones" slap, or you want a "come back, charleston blue"

399. Want a "come back, charleston blue" upper slap?

400. "come back, charleston blue" upper slap? whatever you think

401. Upper slap? whatever you think she deserves, baby!

402. whatever you think she deserves, baby! Just make it look real.

403. She deserves, baby! Just make it look real. cool.

404. Just make it look real. cool. and action!

405. cool. and action! Action! Action!

406. and action! Action! Action! What the is going on

407. Action! Action! What the is going on in there?

408. What the is going on in there?

409. In there? mr. Van peebles, all of our

410. mr. Van peebles, all of our black stars are gone!

411. mr. Van peebles, all of our black stars are gone! Ain't nobody seen nothin'!

412. Black stars are gone! Ain't nobody seen nothin'! Nobody, nobody, nobody!

413. Ain't nobody seen nothin'! Nobody, nobody, nobody! No-no-nobody!

414. Nobody, nobody, nobody! No-no-nobody!

415. No-no-nobody! you will not say filth

416. you will not say filth flawrin flawrin filth in front

417. you will not say filth flawrin flawrin filth in front of people ever again!

418. Flawrin flawrin filth in front of people ever again! Duhhhh!

419. Of people ever again! Duhhhh! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

420. black dynamite: Hmm? Now, this is some heavy shit.

421. black dynamite: Hmm? Now, this is some heavy shit. oh, man, what am I gonna do?

422. Now, this is some heavy shit. oh, man, what am I gonna do? honey bee: I can only imagine

423. oh, man, what am I gonna do? honey bee: I can only imagine how much money was spent on this

424. honey bee: I can only imagine how much money was spent on this movie, melvin.

425. How much money was spent on this movie, melvin. the money!

426. Movie, melvin. the money! Do you know how much I

427. the money! Do you know how much I would have got?

428. Do you know how much I would have got? black dynamite: Don't count

429. Would have got? black dynamite: Don't count that out yet, melvin.

430. black dynamite: Don't count that out yet, melvin. I found a clue.

431. That out yet, melvin. I found a clue. the reverse strip club?

432. I found a clue. the reverse strip club? Now, this is some heavy shit.

433. the reverse strip club? Now, this is some heavy shit. black dynamite: Some heavy

434. Now, this is some heavy shit. black dynamite: Some heavy shit.

435. black dynamite: Some heavy shit. I know.

436. Shit. I know. There's a good chance that

437. I know. There's a good chance that whoever likes to watch funky

438. There's a good chance that whoever likes to watch funky moose knuckles slide up and down

439. Whoever likes to watch funky moose knuckles slide up and down poles at this joint also

440. Moose knuckles slide up and down poles at this joint also kidnapped your black stars.

441. Poles at this joint also kidnapped your black stars. Don't worry, melvin.

442. Kidnapped your black stars. Don't worry, melvin. I'm gonna show you how a real

443. Don't worry, melvin. I'm gonna show you how a real action hero saves the day.

444. I'm gonna show you how a real action hero saves the day. I'm on the case.

445. Action hero saves the day. I'm on the case. thanks, black dynamite, but

446. I'm on the case. thanks, black dynamite, but who knows how long that'll take?

447. thanks, black dynamite, but who knows how long that'll take? I still need to stay on

448. Who knows how long that'll take? I still need to stay on schedule.

449. I still need to stay on schedule. cream corn: Well we

450. Schedule. cream corn: Well we look just like them.

451. cream corn: Well we look just like them. Maybe we can stand in for a

452. Look just like them. Maybe we can stand in for a while.

453. Maybe we can stand in for a while. black dynamite: That's a

454. While. black dynamite: That's a dumb-ass idea, cream corn.

455. black dynamite: That's a dumb-ass idea, cream corn. that's a great idea,

456. Dumb-ass idea, cream corn. that's a great idea, cream corn.

457. that's a great idea, cream corn. Fellas, we have our new stars.

458. Cream corn. Fellas, we have our new stars. Get them in makeup pronto.

459. Fellas, we have our new stars. Get them in makeup pronto. welcome to the cosby coon

460. Get them in makeup pronto. welcome to the cosby coon removal program.

461. welcome to the cosby coon removal program. In 24 hours, you will be

462. Removal program. In 24 hours, you will be converted from self-degrading

463. In 24 hours, you will be converted from self-degrading blaxploitation film stars to

464. Converted from self-degrading blaxploitation film stars to upstanding, intelligent,

465. Blaxploitation film stars to upstanding, intelligent, dignified representatives of the

466. Upstanding, intelligent, dignified representatives of the black race.

467. Dignified representatives of the black race. And blaxploitation will be a

468. Black race. And blaxploitation will be a thing of the past!

469. And blaxploitation will be a thing of the past! Now, here are the scripts for

470. Thing of the past! Now, here are the scripts for my new show that will represent

471. Now, here are the scripts for my new show that will represent a clean, wholesome image of the

472. My new show that will represent a clean, wholesome image of the black community that you will

473. A clean, wholesome image of the black community that you will all be starring in, called...

474. Black community that you will all be starring in, called... "the huxtables."

475. All be starring in, called... "the huxtables." any questions?

476. "the huxtables." any questions? well, what if we say no?

477. Any questions? well, what if we say no? brown hornet?

478. well, what if we say no? brown hornet? now, cream corn, this should

479. brown hornet? now, cream corn, this should be easy for you, being that you

480. now, cream corn, this should be easy for you, being that you are a real pimp.

481. Be easy for you, being that you are a real pimp. Now, your line is, "bitch,

482. Are a real pimp. Now, your line is, "bitch, where's my money?"

483. Now, your line is, "bitch, where's my money?" cream corn: Uh, uh, okay.

484. Where's my money?" cream corn: Uh, uh, okay. and action!

485. cream corn: Uh, uh, okay. and action! cream corn: Um, girl — I-I-I

486. and action! cream corn: Um, girl — I-I-I mean, bitch, um — well, I ain't

487. cream corn: Um, girl — I-I-I mean, bitch, um — well, I ain't mean to call you bitch, but, uh,

488. Mean, bitch, um — well, I ain't mean to call you bitch, but, uh, could you give me my money,

489. Mean to call you bitch, but, uh, could you give me my money, please?

490. Could you give me my money, please? cut!

491. Please? cut! black dynamite: Moms mabley?

492. cut! black dynamite: Moms mabley? Hmm. She just "mabley" be next.

493. black dynamite: Moms mabley? Hmm. She just "mabley" be next. I should check it out.

494. Hmm. She just "mabley" be next. I should check it out. coming to the stage is a

495. I should check it out. coming to the stage is a beautiful, wretched hoe that has

496. coming to the stage is a beautiful, wretched hoe that has turned every trick in the book,

497. Beautiful, wretched hoe that has turned every trick in the book, but is now lookin' for some

498. Turned every trick in the book, but is now lookin' for some self-respect, y'all.

499. But is now lookin' for some self-respect, y'all. Give it up for anti-biotica!

500. Self-respect, y'all. Give it up for anti-biotica!

501. Give it up for anti-biotica! ♪ put on that big blouse

502. ♪ put on that big blouse ♪ these is mighty

503. ♪ put on that big blouse ♪ these is mighty ♪ keep your titties from

504. ♪ these is mighty ♪ keep your titties from falling out ♪

505. ♪ keep your titties from falling out ♪ black dynamite: Say, mama, is

506. Falling out ♪ black dynamite: Say, mama, is it me, or are those cats paying

507. black dynamite: Say, mama, is it me, or are those cats paying chicks to put their clothes on?

508. It me, or are those cats paying chicks to put their clothes on? that's the deal, daddy.

509. Chicks to put their clothes on? that's the deal, daddy. Here we get paid to respect

510. that's the deal, daddy. Here we get paid to respect ourselves.

511. Here we get paid to respect ourselves. You want a private dance?

512. Ourselves. You want a private dance? I'll go get naked, so I can

513. You want a private dance? I'll go get naked, so I can cover up just for you.

514. I'll go get naked, so I can cover up just for you. black dynamite: Uh, no,

515. Cover up just for you. black dynamite: Uh, no, thanks, but you can tell me

516. black dynamite: Uh, no, thanks, but you can tell me where I can find moms mabley.

517. Thanks, but you can tell me where I can find moms mabley. her undressing room is right

518. Where I can find moms mabley. her undressing room is right there to the right.

519. her undressing room is right there to the right. black dynamite: Miss mabley,

520. There to the right. black dynamite: Miss mabley, I'm black dynamite.

521. black dynamite: Miss mabley, I'm black dynamite. hot damn, I bet you is.

522. I'm black dynamite. hot damn, I bet you is. Come on in. I won't bite you.

523. hot damn, I bet you is. Come on in. I won't bite you. My teeth is way over there.

524. Come on in. I won't bite you. My teeth is way over there.

525. My teeth is way over there. black dynamite: Now, I ain't

526. black dynamite: Now, I ain't got time to explain, but there

527. black dynamite: Now, I ain't got time to explain, but there may be danger lurkin' around

528. Got time to explain, but there may be danger lurkin' around each and every nipple of this

529. May be danger lurkin' around each and every nipple of this titty bar.

530. Each and every nipple of this titty bar. whatever

531. Titty bar. whatever is you eating or not?

532. whatever is you eating or not? black dynamite: Uh, excuse

533. Is you eating or not? black dynamite: Uh, excuse me?

534. black dynamite: Uh, excuse me? look, you can either lick it

535. Me? look, you can either lick it or stick it, but quit it if you

536. look, you can either lick it or stick it, but quit it if you can't do nothin' with it.

537. Or stick it, but quit it if you can't do nothin' with it. If you can do somethin' with it,

538. Can't do nothin' with it. If you can do somethin' with it, come get it!

539. If you can do somethin' with it, come get it! black dynamite:

540. come get it! black dynamite: maybe the bitch should get

541. black dynamite: maybe the bitch should get kidnapped.

542. Maybe the bitch should get kidnapped. it's black dynamite.

543. Kidnapped. it's black dynamite. Run!

544. oh man, I'm tired as hell! I thought black people

545. Hell! I thought black people supposed to be sprinters.

546. I thought black people supposed to be sprinters. This guys doing a goddamn

547. Supposed to be sprinters. This guys doing a goddamn marathon.

548. This guys doing a goddamn marathon. What the is this

549. Marathon. What the is this black dynamite: Where are the

550. What the is this black dynamite: Where are the "blackity black black" actors

551. black dynamite: Where are the "blackity black black" actors that you kidnapped, and where

552. "blackity black black" actors that you kidnapped, and where are they kidnapped at?

553. That you kidnapped, and where are they kidnapped at? we didn't kidnap nobody,

554. Are they kidnapped at? we didn't kidnap nobody, black dynamite!

555. we didn't kidnap nobody, black dynamite! All we did was dress up like

556. Black dynamite! All we did was dress up like some bitches so we could ambush

557. All we did was dress up like some bitches so we could ambush melvin for some dues so we could

558. Some bitches so we could ambush melvin for some dues so we could get our cable back on!

559. Melvin for some dues so we could get our cable back on! black dynamite: So, you were

560. Get our cable back on! black dynamite: So, you were the three ugly bitches.

561. black dynamite: So, you were the three ugly bitches. Damn, y'all some sneaky pumas.

562. The three ugly bitches. Damn, y'all some sneaky pumas. The kidnappers dropped a clue

563. Damn, y'all some sneaky pumas. The kidnappers dropped a clue that led me to this club.

564. The kidnappers dropped a clue that led me to this club. So, if it ain't you, why you

565. That led me to this club. So, if it ain't you, why you here?

566. So, if it ain't you, why you here? look, man, we just here to

567. Here? look, man, we just here to enjoy ourselves, throw a couple

568. look, man, we just here to enjoy ourselves, throw a couple drawers on the stage, and give a

569. Enjoy ourselves, throw a couple drawers on the stage, and give a few bitches their dignity back.

570. Drawers on the stage, and give a few bitches their dignity back. Man, I promise!

571. Few bitches their dignity back. Man, I promise! We ain't kidnap nobody!

572. Man, I promise! We ain't kidnap nobody! black dynamite: Then who did

573. We ain't kidnap nobody! black dynamite: Then who did it, damn it?

574. black dynamite: Then who did it, damn it? Who?

575. It, damn it? Who? bill cosby — that's who!

576. Who? bill cosby — that's who! We heard the word on the street

577. bill cosby — that's who! We heard the word on the street that this was his hangout.

578. We heard the word on the street that this was his hangout. black dynamite: Wait.

579. That this was his hangout. black dynamite: Wait. Cosby, like jell-o pudding,

580. black dynamite: Wait. Cosby, like jell-o pudding, date-rapin' cosby?

581. Cosby, like jell-o pudding, date-rapin' cosby? Why would he do it?

582. Date-rapin' cosby? Why would he do it? word on the street is he's

583. Why would he do it? word on the street is he's starting a revolution to change

584. word on the street is he's starting a revolution to change black television and film, and

585. Starting a revolution to change black television and film, and that's all I know, man.

586. Black television and film, and that's all I know, man. black dynamite: What else?

587. That's all I know, man. black dynamite: What else? What other words were on that

588. black dynamite: What else? What other words were on that street, damn it?

589. What other words were on that street, damn it? okay, okay, the word on the

590. Street, damn it? okay, okay, the word on the street did say one more thing.

591. okay, okay, the word on the street did say one more thing. If cosby can't stop all the

592. Street did say one more thing. If cosby can't stop all the black actors from coonin' and

593. If cosby can't stop all the black actors from coonin' and jivin' in hollywood, he said

594. Black actors from coonin' and jivin' in hollywood, he said he's gonna kill them all.

595. Jivin' in hollywood, he said he's gonna kill them all. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

596. huxtable residence. Nah, denise ain't home, sucker,

597. huxtable residence. Nah, denise ain't home, sucker, but I got plenty of other hoes

598. Nah, denise ain't home, sucker, but I got plenty of other hoes that will study with you and

599. But I got plenty of other hoes that will study with you and suck your —

600. That will study with you and suck your — cut! Cut! No! No! No!

601. Suck your — cut! Cut! No! No! No! Theodore would never say "ain't"

602. cut! Cut! No! No! No! Theodore would never say "ain't" and "sucker" and "filth flarn

603. Theodore would never say "ain't" and "sucker" and "filth flarn filth"!

604. And "sucker" and "filth flarn filth"! Just read what's on the paper!

605. Filth"! Just read what's on the paper! look, pops, I'm sorry, but my

606. Just read what's on the paper! look, pops, I'm sorry, but my mouth just don't form no square

607. look, pops, I'm sorry, but my mouth just don't form no square words, you dig?

608. Mouth just don't form no square words, you dig? I got to act like me.

609. Words, you dig? I got to act like me. look, I am trying to create

610. I got to act like me. look, I am trying to create the most ethical black family

611. look, I am trying to create the most ethical black family show in the world!

612. The most ethical black family show in the world! And I need you to all behave

613. Show in the world! And I need you to all behave like jell-o pudding-pop eating,

614. And I need you to all behave like jell-o pudding-pop eating, coke-and-a-smile-having,

615. Like jell-o pudding-pop eating, coke-and-a-smile-having, colorful-sweater-wearing

616. Coke-and-a-smile-having, colorful-sweater-wearing huxtables!

617. Colorful-sweater-wearing huxtables! Now set up the next scene,

618. Huxtables! Now set up the next scene, please!

619. Now set up the next scene, please! claire! Claire!

620. Please! claire! Claire! I'm calling you!

621. claire! Claire! I'm calling you! I'm coming, sucker.

622. I'm calling you! I'm coming, sucker. I was baking some cookies for

623. I'm coming, sucker. I was baking some cookies for your raggedy ass.

624. I was baking some cookies for your raggedy ass. bitch, you know I don't want

625. Your raggedy ass. bitch, you know I don't want no duncan hines.

626. bitch, you know I don't want no duncan hines. I want some of that nookie

627. No duncan hines. I want some of that nookie cookie from the front door of

628. I want some of that nookie cookie from the front door of your behind.

629. Cookie from the front door of your behind. cut! Cut!

630. Your behind. cut! Cut! that's it.

631. cut! Cut! that's it. We ain't got to put up with

632. that's it. We ain't got to put up with this

633. We ain't got to put up with this let's get the out of

634. This let's get the out of here.

635. Let's get the out of here. you are not going anywhere!

636. Here. you are not going anywhere! It is now clear you will not

637. you are not going anywhere! It is now clear you will not perform with self-respect and

638. It is now clear you will not perform with self-respect and decency, so I have to reprogram

639. Perform with self-respect and decency, so I have to reprogram you.

640. Decency, so I have to reprogram you. It is time for phase two.

641. You. It is time for phase two. Let the reprogramming begin.

642. It is time for phase two. Let the reprogramming begin. Double duhhhh!

643. Let the reprogramming begin. Double duhhhh! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

644. Double duhhhh! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

645. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite okay, on "action," I want you

646. okay, on "action," I want you to jump off this six-story

647. okay, on "action," I want you to jump off this six-story building, and hopefully you'll

648. To jump off this six-story building, and hopefully you'll land on this air mattress, okay?

649. Building, and hopefully you'll land on this air mattress, okay? honey bee: Okay, okay.

650. Land on this air mattress, okay? honey bee: Okay, okay. Wait. What you say?

651. honey bee: Okay, okay. Wait. What you say? action!

652. Wait. What you say? action!

653. action! honey bee: Wait.

654. honey bee: Wait. What the hell?

655. honey bee: Wait. What the hell? Are these throwing

656. What the hell? Are these throwing fruit?

657. Are these throwing fruit? Ow!

658. Fruit? Ow! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

659. Ow! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! ugh!

660. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! ugh! whoa!

661. ugh! whoa! cut! Cut!

662. whoa! cut! Cut!

663. cut! Cut! Man, I done read

664. Man, I done read every line in this

665. Man, I done read every line in this script from head to toe, and I

666. Every line in this script from head to toe, and I ain't see no scene where my ass

667. Script from head to toe, and I ain't see no scene where my ass gets hit with a "to-may-to" or a

668. Ain't see no scene where my ass gets hit with a "to-may-to" or a "to-mah-to"!

669. Gets hit with a "to-may-to" or a "to-mah-to"! cream corn, this was a

670. "to-mah-to"! cream corn, this was a dumb-ass idea.

671. cream corn, this was a dumb-ass idea. honey bee: Black dynamite,

672. Dumb-ass idea. honey bee: Black dynamite, black dynamite, where are you?

673. honey bee: Black dynamite, black dynamite, where are you? I'll be damned if I'm gonna be

674. Black dynamite, where are you? I'll be damned if I'm gonna be killed by a grapefruit or a

675. I'll be damned if I'm gonna be killed by a grapefruit or a banana.

676. Killed by a grapefruit or a banana. black dynamite: Do you know

677. Banana. black dynamite: Do you know where bill cosby is?

678. black dynamite: Do you know where bill cosby is? Do y'all know where bill cosby

679. Where bill cosby is? Do y'all know where bill cosby is?

680. Do y'all know where bill cosby is? Tell me where bill cosby is,

681. Is? Tell me where bill cosby is, or I'm-a —

682. Tell me where bill cosby is, or I'm-a — check the

683. Or I'm-a — check the jell-o pudding plant.

684. check the jell-o pudding plant. black dynamite: I already

685. Jell-o pudding plant. black dynamite: I already been to the goddamn jell-o

686. black dynamite: I already been to the goddamn jell-o plant.

687. Been to the goddamn jell-o plant.

688. Plant.

689. s-so, I said to the chinaman, "I

690. s-so, I said to the chinaman, "I threw that shit before I walked

691. S-so, I said to the chinaman, "I threw that shit before I walked in the room!"

692. Threw that shit before I walked in the room!" uh, well y'all.

693. In the room!" uh, well y'all.

694. Uh, well y'all. ♪ 'cause the cars took

695. ♪ 'cause the cars took them away ♪

696. ♪ 'cause the cars took them away ♪ as you can see, the black

697. Them away ♪ as you can see, the black community is in an uproar,

698. as you can see, the black community is in an uproar, ladies and gentlemen.

699. Community is in an uproar, ladies and gentlemen. The negro stars have been

700. Ladies and gentlemen. The negro stars have been stolen, and apparently their

701. The negro stars have been stolen, and apparently their less-than-talented replacements

702. Stolen, and apparently their less-than-talented replacements aren't being received very well.

703. Less-than-talented replacements aren't being received very well. If only there was a real hero

704. Aren't being received very well. If only there was a real hero out there that could save these

705. If only there was a real hero out there that could save these actors, someone that's big,

706. Out there that could save these actors, someone that's big, black, and dynamite!

707. Actors, someone that's big, black, and dynamite! But right now, it seems as

708. Black, and dynamite! But right now, it seems as though there isn't.

709. But right now, it seems as though there isn't. black dynamite: Man, these

710. Though there isn't. black dynamite: Man, these black stars really mean a lot to

711. black dynamite: Man, these black stars really mean a lot to this community.

712. Black stars really mean a lot to this community. In the movies, the hero always

713. This community. In the movies, the hero always gets his man.

714. In the movies, the hero always gets his man. Why can't I?

715. Gets his man. Why can't I? Maybe black dynamite ain't the

716. Why can't I? Maybe black dynamite ain't the real blackity, black, black,

717. Maybe black dynamite ain't the real blackity, black, black, black hero he thought he was.

718. Real blackity, black, black, black hero he thought he was. well you, too!

719. Black hero he thought he was. well you, too! I don't know why the hell my

720. well you, too! I don't know why the hell my manager would book my nasty ass

721. I don't know why the hell my manager would book my nasty ass at a square club like

722. Manager would book my nasty ass at a square club like this, anyway.

723. At a square club like this, anyway. Why the long face, honey?

724. This, anyway. Why the long face, honey? You look like you lost your

725. Why the long face, honey? You look like you lost your dick.

726. You look like you lost your dick. black dynamite: Nah, I still

727. Dick. black dynamite: Nah, I still got my dick, moms mabley.

728. black dynamite: Nah, I still got my dick, moms mabley. What I don't have is bill cosby.

729. Got my dick, moms mabley. What I don't have is bill cosby. He's kidnapped all the black

730. What I don't have is bill cosby. He's kidnapped all the black stars, and I can't find him.

731. He's kidnapped all the black stars, and I can't find him. you lookin' for bill?

732. Stars, and I can't find him. you lookin' for bill? Me and bill go way back to the

733. you lookin' for bill? Me and bill go way back to the days of but the only

734. Me and bill go way back to the days of but the only problem was, he wasn't doin' no

735. Days of but the only problem was, he wasn't doin' no

736. Problem was, he wasn't doin' no in fact, he didn't even want me

737. In fact, he didn't even want me to talk about that's my whole act.

738. To talk about that's my whole act. black dynamite: So, you can

739. that's my whole act. black dynamite: So, you can show me where to find him so

740. black dynamite: So, you can show me where to find him so that black dynamite can prove to

741. Show me where to find him so that black dynamite can prove to his community he's the real

742. That black dynamite can prove to his community he's the real bad-ass action hero he knows

743. His community he's the real bad-ass action hero he knows he is?

744. Bad-ass action hero he knows he is? of course, baby.

745. He is? of course, baby. black dynamite: Thank you,

746. of course, baby. black dynamite: Thank you, moms mabley.

747. black dynamite: Thank you, moms mabley. right after you throw me one

748. Moms mabley. right after you throw me one right quick.

749. right after you throw me one right quick. black dynamite: What?

750. Right quick. black dynamite: What? hey, with great dick comes

751. black dynamite: What? hey, with great dick comes great responsibility.

752. hey, with great dick comes great responsibility.

753. Great responsibility. black dynamite: All right,

754. black dynamite: All right, come on, let's hurry this shit

755. black dynamite: All right, come on, let's hurry this shit up.

756. Come on, let's hurry this shit up. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

757. Up. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite aah!

758. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite aah! no! No! No!

759. aah! no! No! No! Now, where is cockroach?

760. no! No! No! Now, where is cockroach? here I am.

761. Now, where is cockroach? here I am. Aah!

762. here I am. Aah! now, you knows I'm a freak,

763. Aah! now, you knows I'm a freak, so get on your knees like

764. now, you knows I'm a freak, so get on your knees like "a whora," or I'm gonna have you

765. So get on your knees like "a whora," or I'm gonna have you on the street sellin' that

766. "a whora," or I'm gonna have you on the street sellin' that "doora" to "doora"!

767. On the street sellin' that "doora" to "doora"! that's not the line!

768. "doora" to "doora"! that's not the line! You don't say "doora"!

769. that's not the line! You don't say "doora"! The letter is "r"!

770. You don't say "doora"! The letter is "r"! It's "r," as in "are you

771. The letter is "r"! It's "r," as in "are you stupid?"

772. It's "r," as in "are you stupid?" aah!

773. Stupid?" aah! "arra"arra"!

774. aah! "arra"arra"! "r."r."

775. "arra"arra"! "r."r." are you happy now, mother filth

776. "r."r." are you happy now, mother filth flarn?

777. Are you happy now, mother filth flarn? "r."

778. Flarn? "r." koo-koo-ka-choo!

779. "r." koo-koo-ka-choo! I think they've got it!

780. koo-koo-ka-choo! I think they've got it! I'm almost done!

781. I think they've got it! I'm almost done! Pammy, baby, you are the last

782. I'm almost done! Pammy, baby, you are the last one.

783. Pammy, baby, you are the last one. you want me to strip?

784. One. you want me to strip? cool.

785. you want me to strip? cool. no, I want you to put it on!

786. cool. no, I want you to put it on! Put it on!

787. no, I want you to put it on! Put it on! Put it on!

788. how could you do this to me?

789. how could you do this to me? This is so humiliating.

790. how could you do this to me? This is so humiliating. Bill cosby, you're a monster!

791. This is so humiliating. Bill cosby, you're a monster! you look so dignified, baby!

792. Bill cosby, you're a monster! you look so dignified, baby! Just one more article of

793. you look so dignified, baby! Just one more article of clothing, and my mission will be

794. Just one more article of clothing, and my mission will be complete!

795. Clothing, and my mission will be complete! black dynamite: Ahh-suey!

796. Complete! black dynamite: Ahh-suey! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

797. black dynamite: Ahh-suey! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite, I'm so glad

798. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite black dynamite, I'm so glad you're here.

799. black dynamite, I'm so glad you're here. black dynamite: Uncover those

800. You're here. black dynamite: Uncover those titties, pam.

801. black dynamite: Uncover those titties, pam. Planets that heavenly are meant

802. Titties, pam. Planets that heavenly are meant to be in orbit.

803. Planets that heavenly are meant to be in orbit. Bill cosby, your hate for

804. To be in orbit. Bill cosby, your hate for blaxploitation is only

805. Bill cosby, your hate for blaxploitation is only outmatched by your zest for

806. Blaxploitation is only outmatched by your zest for reverse strip treachery.

807. Outmatched by your zest for reverse strip treachery. black dynamite, are you

808. Reverse strip treachery. black dynamite, are you crazy, busting into my place,

809. black dynamite, are you crazy, busting into my place, messing up a perfectly good

810. Crazy, busting into my place, messing up a perfectly good reverse strip!

811. Messing up a perfectly good reverse strip! black dynamite: Bill cosby,

812. Reverse strip! black dynamite: Bill cosby, unhand those blaxploitation

813. black dynamite: Bill cosby, unhand those blaxploitation stars, or I'm gonna exploit my

814. Unhand those blaxploitation stars, or I'm gonna exploit my black fist in your face, can you

815. Stars, or I'm gonna exploit my black fist in your face, can you dig it?

816. Black fist in your face, can you dig it? look behind you — it's

817. Dig it? look behind you — it's sidney poitier.

818. look behind you — it's sidney poitier. black dynamite: You don't

819. Sidney poitier. black dynamite: You don't expect me to fall for the old

820. black dynamite: You don't expect me to fall for the old "sidney poitier behind the back"

821. Expect me to fall for the old "sidney poitier behind the back" trick.

822. "sidney poitier behind the back" trick. That's the oldest trick in the

823. Trick. That's the oldest trick in the book.

824. That's the oldest trick in the book. Black dynamite's been around too

825. Book. Black dynamite's been around too long for —

826. now, it seems to me that you need to be reprogrammed, too. Why are you always scowling?

827. Need to be reprogrammed, too. Why are you always scowling? You are scaring white people!

828. Why are you always scowling? You are scaring white people! I want you to smile!

829. You are scaring white people! I want you to smile! black dynamite: I am smiling.

830. I want you to smile! black dynamite: I am smiling. "I am smiling"? No!

831. black dynamite: I am smiling. "I am smiling"? No! This is a smile!

832. "I am smiling"? No! This is a smile! Duhhhh!

833. This is a smile! Duhhhh! Now you... Will smile!

834. Duhhhh! Now you... Will smile!

835. Now you... Will smile! black dynamite: Your electric

836. black dynamite: Your electric behavior modification could

837. black dynamite: Your electric behavior modification could never work on me 'cause I'm no

838. Behavior modification could never work on me 'cause I'm no actor.

839. Never work on me 'cause I'm no actor. I'm a real bad-ass

840. Actor. I'm a real bad-ass talking, ass-kickin'

841. I'm a real bad-ass talking, ass-kickin' can you dig it?

842. Talking, ass-kickin' can you dig it? no, I can't dig it, but you

843. Can you dig it? no, I can't dig it, but you can dig these filth flawrns!

844. no, I can't dig it, but you can dig these filth flawrns! what the is a filth

845. Can dig these filth flawrns! what the is a filth flawrn

846. what the is a filth flawrn ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

847. Flawrn ♪ dynamite! Dynamite no! Not you!

848. ♪ dynamite! Dynamite no! Not you! yeah it's me and my

849. no! Not you! yeah it's me and my that you wouldn't eat.

850. yeah it's me and my that you wouldn't eat. dohhh!

851. that you wouldn't eat. dohhh! you no suckin' son of

852. dohhh! you no suckin' son of a bitch, you ass-face

853. you no suckin' son of a bitch, you ass-face bitch-ass bumble

854. A bitch, you ass-face bitch-ass bumble bastard, you face

855. Bitch-ass bumble bastard, you face smokin' douchebag

856. Bastard, you face smokin' douchebag goddamn dick weasel of a

857. Goddamn dick weasel of a black dynamite: That's it

858. black dynamite: That's it moms mabley, keep talkin' that

859. black dynamite: That's it moms mabley, keep talkin' that

860. Moms mabley, keep talkin' that you ain't nothin' but a

861. you ain't nothin' but a rim-jobbing spittin'

862. you ain't nothin' but a rim-jobbing spittin' black lip-havin'

863. Rim-jobbing spittin' black lip-havin' suckin son of a bitch!

864. Black lip-havin' suckin son of a bitch!

865. black dynamite: Didn't I tell

866. black dynamite: Didn't I tell you to wait your ass in the car?

867. black dynamite: Didn't I tell you to wait your ass in the car? I can leave your

868. You to wait your ass in the car? I can leave your black ass tied up if you want

869. I can leave your black ass tied up if you want me to.

870. Black ass tied up if you want me to. not so fast, moms mabley.

871. Me to. not so fast, moms mabley.

872. not so fast, moms mabley. guess who's coming to dinner.

873. brown hornets! black dynamite: Man, I hope you actors can act like y'all

874. black dynamite: Man, I hope you actors can act like y'all can really fight.

875. You actors can act like y'all can really fight. just keep cool.

876. Can really fight. just keep cool. I will handle this.

877. just keep cool. I will handle this. hoo-whee! Hoop-hoop!

878. I will handle this. hoo-whee! Hoop-hoop! Hoo-whee!

879. hoo-whee! Hoop-hoop! Hoo-whee! black dynamite: Jim kelly,

880. Hoo-whee! black dynamite: Jim kelly, sit your ass down.

881. black dynamite: Jim kelly, sit your ass down. All of you, sit! Sit!

882. Sit your ass down. All of you, sit! Sit! get that dahhhh!

883. black dynamite: Ahh-suey! I just wanted to do better, black dynamite!

884. I just wanted to do better, black dynamite! black dynamite: Bill cosby,

885. Better, black dynamite! black dynamite: Bill cosby, you can't expect all the black

886. black dynamite: Bill cosby, you can't expect all the black community to be incredibly

887. You can't expect all the black community to be incredibly intelligent, insightful, and

888. Community to be incredibly intelligent, insightful, and hilariously funny comedy men,

889. Intelligent, insightful, and hilariously funny comedy men, just like I can't expect them

890. Hilariously funny comedy men, just like I can't expect them all to be super-bad, ex-c.I.A.,

891. Just like I can't expect them all to be super-bad, ex-c.I.A., private-eye, ass-kickin'

892. All to be super-bad, ex-c.I.A., private-eye, ass-kickin' machines like myself.

893. Private-eye, ass-kickin' machines like myself. But with black exploitation

894. Machines like myself. But with black exploitation movies, at least can

895. But with black exploitation movies, at least can fantasize about it.

896. Movies, at least can fantasize about it. After all, these are the only

897. Fantasize about it. After all, these are the only heroes they got on the big

898. After all, these are the only heroes they got on the big screen.

899. Heroes they got on the big screen. And even if hollywood did make a

900. Screen. And even if hollywood did make a black super hero, they'd

901. And even if hollywood did make a black super hero, they'd probably make him a damn hell

902. Black super hero, they'd probably make him a damn hell spawn or something.

903. Probably make him a damn hell spawn or something. you're right.

904. Spawn or something. you're right. You're right, black dynamite.

905. you're right. You're right, black dynamite. I'm sorry.

906. You're right, black dynamite. I'm sorry. black dynamite: Well, you can

907. I'm sorry. black dynamite: Well, you can still make your little cosby

908. black dynamite: Well, you can still make your little cosby show, bill cosby.

909. Still make your little cosby show, bill cosby. Who knows?

910. Show, bill cosby. Who knows? It could make a different world

911. Who knows? It could make a different world for our people in television.

912. It could make a different world for our people in television. But it ain't gonna happen with

913. For our people in television. But it ain't gonna happen with these cats.

914. But it ain't gonna happen with these cats. Can you dig it?

915. These cats. Can you dig it? dug!

916. Can you dig it? dug! Ohh!

917. dug! Ohh! it's "arra"

918. Ohh! it's "arra" "arra"!

919. it's "arra" "arra"! ohh!

920. "arra"! ohh! well, you heard it here,

921. ohh! well, you heard it here, folks.

922. well, you heard it here, folks. The "blackity black black black"

923. Folks. The "blackity black black black" stars are back!

924. The "blackity black black black" stars are back! And once again, the black

925. Stars are back! And once again, the black community has big black heroes

926. And once again, the black community has big black heroes on the big white screen, thanks

927. Community has big black heroes on the big white screen, thanks to the one and only real hero in

928. On the big white screen, thanks to the one and only real hero in the black community,

929. To the one and only real hero in the black community, black dynamite.

930. The black community, black dynamite. well, now that everything is

931. Black dynamite. well, now that everything is back to normal, let's finish

932. well, now that everything is back to normal, let's finish this "blackity black black

933. Back to normal, let's finish this "blackity black black black" movie once and for all!

934. This "blackity black black black" movie once and for all! And action!

935. Black" movie once and for all! And action! I cannot believe that these

936. And action! I cannot believe that these filthy flawrns did not want to

937. I cannot believe that these filthy flawrns did not want to clean up their act.

938. Filthy flawrns did not want to clean up their act. Well, more millions of dollars

939. Clean up their act. Well, more millions of dollars for me!

940. Well, more millions of dollars for me! whatever

941. For me! whatever is you eatin' or not?

942. whatever is you eatin' or not? oh! Sorry!

943. Is you eatin' or not? oh! Sorry! Duhhh!

944. oh! Sorry! Duhhh! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite

945. Duhhh! ♪ dynamite! Dynamite