1. Let's go! Let's go! We're already late!Copy !req
2. It's 7:01.Copy !req
3. Yeah, and he said 7:00. Let's go.Copy !req
4. It's spring break,
it's supposed to be relaxing.Copy !req
5. Marty Glouberman doesn't relax.
The man eats on the toilet to save time.Copy !req
6. Jesus, Connie,
what did you pack in here?Copy !req
7. - I didn't know what to bring.
- It's Florida, baby.Copy !req
8. The only time you don't wear
a bathing suit is to a funeral.Copy !req
9. And even then, it depends on who died.Copy !req
10. No one is dying, Maury.Copy !req
11. Honestly, I've never been to Florida
and not watched someone die.Copy !req
12. - Luckily, I've brought a grieving Speedo.
- Mmm. My condolences.Copy !req
13. Thanks again for taking him, Barbara.Copy !req
14. You know, Nick is going through
a real, um...Copy !req
15. asshole phase.Copy !req
16. Oh, then he'll fit right in
with the Glouber-men.Copy !req
17. I'm getting flop sweats just thinking
about all that testosteroneCopy !req
18. and shoulder hair.Copy !req
19. Do you want a couple Xanax?Copy !req
20. I kissed a few into Elliot's mouth
this morning for his separation anxiety.Copy !req
21. I'm just gonna miss him so much.Copy !req
22. You can stop honking now, Dad.Copy !req
23. - I'll stop when we're in Florida!Copy !req
24. Argh! Come on, come on!
We already know who's in the show!Copy !req
25. What is that, a sperm? Disgusting!Copy !req
26. Skip the intro already, would ya?
We don't have time!Copy !req
27. Mantzoukas? Too many letters.Copy !req
28. Ugh, who is watchin' this garbage?Copy !req
29. The neo-Nazi trolls on YouTube are right,Copy !req
30. this show is disgusting!Copy !req
31. You know who had a good intro song?Copy !req
32. Two and a Half Men.
They got right to the point.Copy !req
33. Let's literally get this show on the road.Copy !req
34. Now, that's funny.Copy !req
35. They should put that in the show.Copy !req
36. What is this Seder thing again?Copy !req
37. Nicola, you don't know?Copy !req
38. I'm kidding. It's just
this long, boring dinnerCopy !req
39. with my angry grandpa
and my lame cousin, Cheryl.Copy !req
40. Ugh! Cheryl's such a baby.Copy !req
41. She makes us play My Little Pony.Copy !req
42. We wanna play big-boy stuff
like baseball cards and Mad Libs!Copy !req
43. Andrew, the Seder is
when we tell the story of Passover,Copy !req
44. the one time our people did the screwing!Copy !req
45. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
46. We were Pharaoh's slaves,
forced to do all sorts of labor,Copy !req
47. unlike Andrew, who could barely use
a Swiffer WetJet!Copy !req
48. It is not as intuitive as it looks.Copy !req
49. One day, God turned Himself
into a burning bush.Copy !req
50. Oh, I had that before.Copy !req
51. And he tells Moses,
"Get outta Egypt already!"Copy !req
52. But the Pharaoh, he won't let him go.Copy !req
53. - So, God hits 'em with ten plagues.Copy !req
54. Locusts, hail, and finally, the big one...Copy !req
55. My firstborn penis. Why, God? Why?Copy !req
56. 'Cause you didn't paint the lamb's blood
above the door like I told you.Copy !req
57. I don't like chores.Copy !req
58. Pharaoh said, "Scram,"
so we had to get out fast.Copy !req
59. Oh, but I'm waiting for the bread to rise.Copy !req
60. It's 7:01! Just make it matzo!Copy !req
61. Then this Pharaoh Schlemiel,
he changes his mind,Copy !req
62. but God had one more trick up his sleeve.Copy !req
63. He parts the Red Sea.Copy !req
64. Great, three-drachma leather sandals
ruined.Copy !req
65. And then what,
they just went to Israel?Copy !req
66. No, they spent 40 years in the desertCopy !req
67. 'cause they didn't know
how to make good time.Copy !req
68. - Marty, it's sweltering.Copy !req
69. Please turn on the AC.Copy !req
70. What, are you crazy?
I'm gettin' great gas mileage.Copy !req
71. Andrew, blow on your mother.Copy !req
72. He doesn't know how to blow cool air.
He snorts!Copy !req
73. It's true, Nick, I only know
how to exhale through my nose.Copy !req
74. - No, I did it again.Copy !req
75. - What the...Copy !req
76. The change is coming, Barbara.Copy !req
77. How does she know my name?Copy !req
78. Mr. Glouberman, I'm starving.Copy !req
79. - Where do you see us stopping for lunch?Copy !req
80. We've got wet salami sandwiches
in tinfoil,Copy !req
81. a thermos of clam chowder,Copy !req
82. and some Chex Mix in an old Band-Aid box.
Help yourself.Copy !req
83. Can we at least stopCopy !req
84. - to go to the bathroom?
- Hah!Copy !req
85. - Ha-ha!
- We stop when I need gas.Copy !req
86. Until then, you're more than welcome to
finish the chowder and pee in the thermos.Copy !req
87. And it's hard to aim into the thermos!Copy !req
88. - What? It's huge, the thermos.
- Yeah, just try.Copy !req
89. Oh, no! There's a fire!Copy !req
90. Val! Kurt! Mom, Dad!Copy !req
91. Where are you guys?
We gotta get outta here!Copy !req
92. Whoa, did someone gift-wrap our house?Copy !req
93. I'm a present for a giant.Copy !req
94. Holy shit! There was a kid in there!Copy !req
95. What? The whole family should be
on spring break.Copy !req
96. They Home Alone'd me?
Hah! Classic Bilzerian move.Copy !req
97. Did they, uh...
Did they say when they'd be back?Copy !req
98. You're in luck,
Mr. Too Good to Piss in a Thermos.Copy !req
99. - I need gas.
- Oh, thank God!Copy !req
100. I got a salami and clam chowder poop
that's backed up to my throat.Copy !req
101. God, look at the prices.Copy !req
102. Now, you listen to me, Nick.
We have exactly the amount of timeCopy !req
103. it takes my dad to fill his gas tank,
or he will leave without us.Copy !req
104. - No child left behind.
- No child left behind. Let's do this!Copy !req
105. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ,
there's so much blood.Copy !req
106. Oh, just shit on the blood.
I'll piss into the sink.Copy !req
107. I'm lookin' around,
I'm seein' hair dye and a razor.Copy !req
108. I think someone got shot
and changed their identity in here.Copy !req
109. - Let's go!
- There's a half-eaten ice-cream sandwich.Copy !req
110. - Andrew!
- God. He let his guard down for one secondCopy !req
111. - and they got him, Nick.
- What?Copy !req
112. - Oh, all of a sudden, I can't go.
- Andrew!Copy !req
113. Psst. The change is coming.Copy !req
114. What change?Copy !req
115. - What are you talking about?Copy !req
116. You finish up in here,
I'm gonna go get a snack.Copy !req
117. Sh! Don't talk, it's finally coming out.Copy !req
118. - That's gonna cost you.Copy !req
119. - What?
- A high five, my dude.Copy !req
120. Coach Steve?Copy !req
121. I'm actually North Carolina
Gas Station Attendant Coach Steve now.Copy !req
122. We don't have time for a Coach Steve bit!Copy !req
123. - We're movin' out!
- I gotta go.Copy !req
124. I flushed, and the blood sprayed my tushy!Copy !req
125. It's okay, Andrew.
We'll give you a Handi Wipe in the car.Copy !req
126. - Come on, jump!
- Okay.Copy !req
127. Andrew! Careful with my precious door.Copy !req
128. Don't worry, I'm okay because—Copy !req
129. and I know you're not supposed
to say this anymore—Copy !req
130. but I'm fire retardant, so...Copy !req
131. Hey, Mrs. Diane Mommy
and Soft-Daddy Dr. B.Copy !req
132. Please, Jay, call me by that name.Copy !req
133. Is, uh... is Nick home?Copy !req
134. Nick actually went to Florida
with Andrew and his family.Copy !req
135. Oh, right, yeah, that's cool.Copy !req
136. Outta curiosity, before I leave,Copy !req
137. do you have any, like, old pizza crusts
or white wine backwash?Copy !req
138. If you're hungry,
we're about to sit down for dinner.Copy !req
139. Would you like to join us?Copy !req
140. Wait, really? Uh... Like, without Nick?Copy !req
141. - Yes.
- Any friend of my son is a son of mine.Copy !req
142. - Yeah, okay.
- I love you.Copy !req
143. I love you too.Copy !req
144. I was just gonna dress up like a duck
and try and score some bread at the park,Copy !req
145. but this is so much better!Copy !req
146. - Ooh.Copy !req
147. Someone is for sure gonna die.Copy !req
148. Nick, welcome to Lakeland, Florida,Copy !req
149. the upper Bronx
of the Greater Tampa Bay Area.Copy !req
150. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.Copy !req
151. - Help me, boy, I died yesterday.Copy !req
152. Isn't it weird how strong his grip is?Copy !req
153. Andrew, this place is not, uh... ideal.Copy !req
154. Oh, did I not mention that it sucks?Copy !req
155. Let's get outta here.Copy !req
156. I wanna go to South Beach
to see a wet dick contest!Copy !req
157. Yeah, let's blow a line of Lipitor
and use my Radisson points.Copy !req
158. You made shit time.Copy !req
159. We got a late start, Dad.Copy !req
160. Yeah, well, if you were late in Korea,
they made you eat your own socks.Copy !req
161. You weren't in Korea, Lewis.Copy !req
162. Yeah, well, I read about it
on the History channel.Copy !req
163. Hi, Zaide. How's your hip?Copy !req
164. Ugh... You wanna know?Copy !req
165. I— I care, a little.Copy !req
166. I squeak, all right? Every time
I get Cream of Wheat from the cabinet.Copy !req
167. Hello, I'm Nick Birch,
I'm Andrew's friend.Copy !req
168. I think I speak for everyone when I sayCopy !req
169. that we're very exhausted
and deeply disappointedCopy !req
170. - with where we find ourselves.
- Yeah, me too.Copy !req
171. So maybe you could just
show us to our rooms?Copy !req
172. Your rooms?
Right this way, Your Highness.Copy !req
173. - I call it the floor.
- For real?Copy !req
174. What? That's where I do
my physical therapy every morning.Copy !req
175. - Nude. I hope you like white pubes.Copy !req
176. Sweetie, does your family know
where you are?Copy !req
177. The question is,
do I know where they are?Copy !req
178. - I do not.
- Oh, dear.Copy !req
179. Well, this has been
the best night of my life.Copy !req
180. So, I'm just gonna go find
a street mattress to sleep on.Copy !req
181. Ooh, may I borrow a steak knife,
just in case there are mustache men?Copy !req
182. Absolutely not.Copy !req
183. Yeah, you're right,
I can just bite 'em with my mouth knives.Copy !req
184. No, you'll sleep here, in Nick's room.Copy !req
185. Wait, am I the new Nick?Copy !req
186. - No, Jay.
- Yeah. Yeah, I get it.Copy !req
187. We like you just the way you are.Copy !req
188. Oh, my Go—Copy !req
189. Why can't we sleep
in your grandfather's room?Copy !req
190. There's a whole empty bed in there.Copy !req
191. Nick, are you kidding?
That bed is for old newspapers.Copy !req
192. Shut up, you two. Go to sleep!Copy !req
193. We have a long and terrible day tomorrow.Copy !req
194. It's so hot in here, Marty.Copy !req
195. I hate to say it, but I think
we need to turn on the air conditioner.Copy !req
196. Sh! He'll hear you.Copy !req
197. I'm not a millionaire.Copy !req
198. - Fine. I'm gonna get some fresh air.Copy !req
199. Don't let the mosquitoes in.Copy !req
200. Oh, I feel like my skin is boiling.Copy !req
201. Change, change, change...Copy !req
202. It's you!Copy !req
203. A year goes by, no blood to letCopy !req
204. - No men need fear to heed my threat!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
205. Your mood, she swings, the tears do fallCopy !req
206. And soon you'll dance
at the Banshee's Ball!Copy !req
207. - Aah!Copy !req
208. The Banshee's Ball? I don't wanna go!Copy !req
209. Me neither!
Where are we not going?Copy !req
210. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.Copy !req
211. Oh, I can't believe it's hailing.Copy !req
212. Yep, just when you think
Florida can't get any worse,Copy !req
213. it rips out its belly button ring
and punches you in the face with it.Copy !req
214. Andrew, are you enjoying this?Copy !req
215. I am. I like it when things are
as bad for you as they are for me.Copy !req
216. Okay, yeah, that's fair. I see that.Copy !req
217. - Imagine living like this.
- You got a booger hanging out your nose.Copy !req
218. Yeah, I know, and if I pull that rip cord,Copy !req
219. there's a bucket of blood behind it.Copy !req
220. Ahem.Copy !req
221. Now, Marty, promise meCopy !req
222. you and Skip aren't gonna fight
over the afikomen at the Seder this year.Copy !req
223. I won't start if he doesn't.Copy !req
224. Hey, big brother.Copy !req
225. - How you doin', Skip?
- Barbara, you look stunning.Copy !req
226. You know, if you ever wanna leave the zeroCopy !req
227. and, uh, you know, have, um...Copy !req
228. - sex with your brother-in-law...
- Ugh.Copy !req
229. - ... you know where to find me.
- On Dad's couch?Copy !req
230. What can I say?
The couch and I have a lot in common.Copy !req
231. We both pull out.Copy !req
232. Oh, God.Copy !req
233. My Little Pony, is that you?Copy !req
234. Cousin Cheryl?Copy !req
235. It's Cherry now. I changed it.Copy !req
236. - Cherry Maraschino.
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
237. I was told I needed,
like, a catchy stage nameCopy !req
238. if I wanted to vape competitively.Copy !req
239. Certainly better than Cheryl Glouberman.Copy !req
240. - Hah, yeah, Glouberman sucks.
- You look good, cuz.Copy !req
241. Wow-wow-wee-wow!Copy !req
242. My cousin!Copy !req
243. Hi, Cherry, I'm Nick.Copy !req
244. I'm kind of the Bradley Cooper
to Andrew's Ed Helms.Copy !req
245. - Thank you.
- Oh, cool, a Hangover reference.Copy !req
246. - Yeah.
- That's not dated.Copy !req
247. - Yeah, I— I guess—
- Guys, this is my friend, Vicki.Copy !req
248. 'Sup. Y'all fools wanna sink a boat?Copy !req
249. - Andrew, Cherry's, like, hot.
- Ew, that's my cousin.Copy !req
250. Don't talk about how her butt
fills her jean shortsCopy !req
251. like two plastic bags
filled with so much syrup.Copy !req
252. - What?
- Just don't talk about it.Copy !req
253. She's my cousin!Copy !req
254. Brainstorm! Let's go to LongHorn's
for some steaks!Copy !req
255. Restaurant steaks for lunch?
Who are you, Vince McMahon?Copy !req
256. Uh-oh. Sounds like
he wants to wrestle, Skip.Copy !req
257. Oh, let's do it. Dad's room, no shoes.Copy !req
258. - Don't touch my newspapers.
- No one is wrestling!Copy !req
259. The hell we're not.
Barbara, help me move the couch!Copy !req
260. Yo, cuz, check this out.Copy !req
261. Oh! Look at us.
Can you believe we were ever that young?Copy !req
262. - Or that naked.Copy !req
263. Sure. Except for my bath glasses.Copy !req
264. How funny would it be
if we took another bath together?Copy !req
265. - What's that now?
- Uh, you wanna take a bath with me?Copy !req
266. Oh, I'm just fucking with you.Copy !req
267. You're so gullible.
It's kinda cute, you gross perv.Copy !req
268. Wait, wait, wait.
What the fuck is she doing?Copy !req
269. - Y'all wanna go to an abandoned marina?
- Abandoned marina, Andrew?Copy !req
270. - I don't know about this, Nick.
- Could be fun.Copy !req
271. Yes, let's follow this little psycho
to a boat graveyard.Copy !req
272. You gotta slither under a fence.Copy !req
273. - It'll scratch your back up good.
- What?Copy !req
274. Y'all ever seen a fish explode
it's so dead?Copy !req
275. You didn't realize you forgot him?Copy !req
276. Uh-huh. Oh, and there's a $10 change fee
if you shorten your trip. I see.Copy !req
277. - What's this mouth sauce called again?
- Oh, we call that toothpaste.Copy !req
278. So, I put this on the bathroom fork?Copy !req
279. - Mmm.
- No, no, no, you don't eat it!Copy !req
280. Ah, shit! Oh, sorry, language. Fuck!Copy !req
281. Good news, Jay. You can stay with us
until your family gets back.Copy !req
282. And also, your brothers
really want you to know,Copy !req
283. you weren't Home Alone'd,Copy !req
284. - you were Homo Alone'd.
- Oh, man!Copy !req
285. And then one of them farted
into the receiver.Copy !req
286. Did it squeak, or was it wet?Copy !req
287. It sounded wet.Copy !req
288. Classic Kurt. Shit on another hotel phone.Copy !req
289. Wow!Copy !req
290. Incredible.Copy !req
291. Was that last one
a guy filling out a bank loan?Copy !req
292. Close. It was a declaration
of bankruptcy.Copy !req
293. You can't do nothing to him now.Copy !req
294. - Andrew, come sit with me.
- Um... Okay.Copy !req
295. I wanna see those pasty-white thighs
spread across the dock.Copy !req
296. - Okay.
- Your knees look like dry biscuits.Copy !req
297. - Thank you?
- I dunno, man,Copy !req
298. I can't get a read on this chick.Copy !req
299. My sexual detector doesn't have
a horny-cousin setting.Copy !req
300. What's cool about a piss pop is that
they're frozen and they're your piss.Copy !req
301. And if someone eat one,
then they have your piss in their stomach.Copy !req
302. Uh-huh, and a piss pop,
that's a Florida delicacy?Copy !req
303. Hey, sweet lips, you think anyone
would ever look for you?Copy !req
304. If— What— Where— If—Copy !req
305. How many people do you think are
at the bottom of that canal right now?Copy !req
306. I don't know, twe— twelve?Copy !req
307. - For now.
- Ah, is she—Copy !req
308. Threatenin' to kill ya? I don't know.Copy !req
309. These Florida girls are hard to read.Copy !req
310. So, what's going on at your school?Copy !req
311. Are you guys doing hand jobs and stuff?Copy !req
312. Either she wants you,
or she swallowed a roll of quarters.Copy !req
313. No, she doesn't, she's my cousin.Copy !req
314. Maybe she's just fucking with me.
Maybe that's her thing.Copy !req
315. Maybe it gets her off,
to fuck with her own cousin.Copy !req
316. Well, everyone's doing 'em here.Copy !req
317. Could you imagine
if I gave you a hand job?Copy !req
318. - Our dads would be so pissed.Copy !req
319. - Would they... be there?
- Do you want them to be?Copy !req
320. Great! She broke the thingy.Copy !req
321. You wanna give me a hand job?Copy !req
322. Ew, no!Copy !req
323. - You're my cousin!
- You're my cousin, I know!Copy !req
324. What— People are nuts!Copy !req
325. I'm just talking about sucking your tongue
down my throat.Copy !req
326. - Holy shit!
- Dude, we gotta get outta here.Copy !req
327. Vicki just showed me
her stepdaddy's corpse.Copy !req
328. One of my stepdaddies'.
Hey, if we ain't gonna sink a boat,Copy !req
329. let's go spill SpaghettiOs
on a baby's headCopy !req
330. and wait for a dog to come lick it up.Copy !req
331. Let's go, girls. I got a business meeting.Copy !req
332. Selling old Four Lokos in that community
college parking lot is not a business!Copy !req
333. - What do you know?
- Boys, boys, please.-Copy !req
334. You're both disappointments.Copy !req
335. - See you at the Seder, cuz.
- Oh, boy.Copy !req
336. Yeah, and I'll see you too, Nick.
You better watch your ass,Copy !req
337. you little Beverly Hills Chihuahua bitch.Copy !req
338. Andrew, I think Vicki might wanna kill me.Copy !req
339. That's cool. I think Cherry might wanna
suck my tongue down her throat.Copy !req
340. - Ew, gross, she's your cousin.
- I know!Copy !req
341. But, hey, um... remind me,Copy !req
342. why's it so frowned upon
to hook up with your cousin?Copy !req
343. - Are you serious?
- I don't— I don't know.Copy !req
344. Because your fathers are brothers.Copy !req
345. Because when you say Grandma,
you're talking about the same woman.Copy !req
346. Hey, let's not bring Bubsie into this.Copy !req
347. Unless you wanna bring Bubsie into this.
Sounds like all bets are off, baby.Copy !req
348. Now, what about kissing cousins?
That's a term I've heard.Copy !req
349. Well, here's another term I've heard,
and I say it without judgment,Copy !req
350. - but here it is, incest.Copy !req
351. Oh. The banjo thing's
a little regionalist,Copy !req
352. but are those letters fucking each other?Copy !req
353. Oh, God, you're right, Nick, it's incest.Copy !req
354. I can't go back to school
and when people ask,Copy !req
355. "How was your spring break?",
I say, "Oh, it was fine, I had incest."Copy !req
356. Please put the word away now.Copy !req
357. That's the thing, Andrew. Once that word
is out there, you can't put it away.Copy !req
358. I don't know, I think the word is cute.Copy !req
359. Oh, now it's trying to breastfeed.Copy !req
360. Ooh, it's got a strong latch,
think it's all the extra teeth.Copy !req
361. Hey, honey. How's Florida?Copy !req
362. It's actually crazy here.Copy !req
363. I watched a dog lick SpaghettiOs
off a baby's head.Copy !req
364. - It was pretty... cra—crazy—Copy !req
365. - Uh-huh.
- Mom, are you even listening?Copy !req
366. What? Oh, sorry, sweetie.
I have to pick a card.Copy !req
367. - What?
- Hey, Nick!Copy !req
368. What's Jay doing there?Copy !req
369. He's doing magic,
and I'm his lovely assistant.Copy !req
370. I hate this.
I— I— I really hate what I'm seeing.Copy !req
371. Jay is staying with us
while his parents are away.Copy !req
372. Why can't you put him up
in, like, a dog hotel?Copy !req
373. What?Copy !req
374. Dude, if I lived here,
I would never leave.Copy !req
375. The food is great.
Your family's full of love.Copy !req
376. Miss Diane Mommy,
please pick a card.Copy !req
377. - Bye, sweetie. We love you.
- Your bed is super comfortable.Copy !req
378. What? No!
Don't let him near my pillow.Copy !req
379. - Ugh.
- A year goes by, no blood to let...Copy !req
380. Well, it has been four months
since I've had my period.Copy !req
381. The change is coming, Barbara!Copy !req
382. The change?Copy !req
383. Hot flashes, insomnia, my mood swings—Copy !req
384. Are you menopause?Copy !req
385. Menopause Banshee, 'tis my nameCopy !req
386. Wreaking havoc is my game!Copy !req
387. White fish on a Triscuit!
I'm not ready for menopause.Copy !req
388. You know, if you do take a bath
with Cherry, you gotta do it in here.Copy !req
389. Non-slide surface, a safety rail,Copy !req
390. you could really jackhammer
your blood relative in here.Copy !req
391. I'm not going to jackhammer Cherry.Copy !req
392. Nick's right,
this whole thing is too weird.Copy !req
393. Oh, please, we're talkin'
about kissing your cousin,Copy !req
394. not shtupping your sister.Copy !req
395. - I don't have a sister.
- Exactly.Copy !req
396. We've only got the cousin,
let's work with what we've got.Copy !req
397. Marty? Are you still awake?Copy !req
398. How can I sleep?
It's 95 degrees in here.Copy !req
399. Do you think I'm past my prime?Copy !req
400. Past your prime?
What are you, stupid?Copy !req
401. You are as sexy
as the day you hit my car.Copy !req
402. Oh, you're just saying that.Copy !req
403. Oh, yeah? Then tell me,Copy !req
404. why is my egg roll
full of duck sauce?Copy !req
405. Oh, Marty!
What about your father and the boys?Copy !req
406. Ah, they're sound asleep.Copy !req
407. And I've got an extra order
of moo shu pork!Copy !req
408. Oh, Marty,
your dumplings are so big.Copy !req
409. They're stuffed
with ground chicken.Copy !req
410. I am sorry, but I can't do it.Copy !req
411. It just seems wrong.Copy !req
412. Wrong? We're in Florida.Copy !req
413. The state bird is a chicken finger.Copy !req
414. It is a pretty crazy place.Copy !req
415. Brother...Copy !req
416. Anything goes in Florida.Copy !req
417. - Hello, Lakeland!Copy !req
418. Y'all ready to rock in the Sunshine State?Copy !req
419. Wow, did you write that song?Copy !req
420. Yeah. I mean, Vince Neil helped.Copy !req
421. - Legitimately good song.
- Thanks, man.Copy !req
422. And it makes a good point.
You know what, Maury?Copy !req
423. I'm gonna do it.Copy !req
424. I'm gonna french
my grandma's granddaughter.Copy !req
425. Whoop-whoop!Copy !req
426. I can't believe we're eating dinner
at four o'clock.Copy !req
427. Oh, Nick, the Seder meal won't be served
for another three to four hours.Copy !req
428. - What?
- But don't worry.Copy !req
429. In about an hour and a half,
you'll get a slab of cold gefilte fish.Copy !req
430. - Okay.
- Which tastes likeCopy !req
431. the baby changing station at SeaWorld.Copy !req
432. Oh, that sounds horrible.Copy !req
433. It is. It's all horrible.Copy !req
434. - Ooh! There she is.Copy !req
435. You should pack her poon
with your fat macaroon.Copy !req
436. Happy Passover.Copy !req
437. - Your womb is dry, like matzo meal.Copy !req
438. But soon you'll—Copy !req
439. Oh, stop it, okay?
I'm not ready to be old.Copy !req
440. For your information,
last night, I made love to my husband.Copy !req
441. I had two helpings of moo shu pork! Two!Copy !req
442. Yes, I watched, raw dog and all.Copy !req
443. No fear of pregnancy
at the Banshee's Ball!Copy !req
444. You know, it was a relief
not to worry about birth control.Copy !req
445. This next chapter's yours to liveCopy !req
446. And now you have no fucks to give!Copy !req
447. Your son wants to tongue your niece!Copy !req
448. What? What? I didn't get that last part!Copy !req
449. Ma nishtanaCopy !req
450. - halilah hazeh...
- Mm.Copy !req
451. - ... mikol haleilot...Copy !req
452. I don't think this is
what your ancestors intended, Andrew.Copy !req
453. Hey, cuz, you wanna come
wander the desert with me?Copy !req
454. Oh, my God, it's happening.
This is happening.Copy !req
455. Nick, we gotta get outta here.
Where's that little swamp rat?Copy !req
456. - She scares me.
- Exactly.Copy !req
457. It's like Kanye tweeted,Copy !req
458. "Do one thing every day
that scares your housekeeper."Copy !req
459. So, as is tradition,
I have hidden a piece of matzo.Copy !req
460. Whoever finds the afikomen this year...Copy !req
461. gets my condo when I die.Copy !req
462. - What?
- I pay for that condo!Copy !req
463. Well, I live there
five nights a week!Copy !req
464. - Marty, he's just tryingCopy !req
465. to pit you and Skip against each other.Copy !req
466. - It's mine!
- Not if I find it first!Copy !req
467. - The hell you will!
- Cold. Colder.Copy !req
468. Me now with the hot and the cold.Copy !req
469. Your nuts just froze off.Copy !req
470. All right, I'll give you schmucks a hint.
It ain't in this room.Copy !req
471. That means it's in another room.
All right, move! Move!Copy !req
472. - Hello, Vicki.
- You wanna go suck gas out of a Jeep?Copy !req
473. - Um...
- Wanna go to Piggly WigglyCopy !req
474. - and slice up a bunch of milk gallons?
- Maybe.Copy !req
475. Mm, I know what you want, fuck face.
Y'all wanna sink a boat.Copy !req
476. You know what? Yeah.
Let's go sink a fuckin' boat.Copy !req
477. Ooh, yeah!Copy !req
478. - Jay?
- Where are you, sweetie?Copy !req
479. Your family said
they'd be back around six.Copy !req
480. - Jay, is everything okay?
- Yeah, totally.Copy !req
481. I'm just, uh...
packin' up my stuff, you know?Copy !req
482. Maybe he doesn't have
to go home right now.Copy !req
483. Elliot, he has a family.Copy !req
484. - Does he?Copy !req
485. Jay, honey, would you like to stay here
for a few more days?Copy !req
486. Is this a trick
to get me out from under the bed?Copy !req
487. No, we'll talk to your parents
and work it out.Copy !req
488. Really? So I can just live here
until college?Copy !req
489. Yeah, no,
that's not what's happening.Copy !req
490. Yeah, who am I kidding?
I'm not going to college.Copy !req
491. Oh, I'm gonna miss him
when he doesn't go to college.Copy !req
492. Oh, here? In Zaide's room?Copy !req
493. Sure, I mean, he doesn't use the bed.Copy !req
494. His newspapers!Copy !req
495. Why don't you come join me?Copy !req
496. Under the covers?Copy !req
497. You know, this is the bed
where Bubsie died.Copy !req
498. Her wig is still under the pillow.Copy !req
499. Oh, I told you Bubsie would be
a part of this.Copy !req
500. - Put it on.
- Okay, this is crazy. This is crazy.Copy !req
501. She might be fucking with you,
but I think we love it.Copy !req
502. Do the voice.Copy !req
503. These Palestinians, they deserve bubkis.Copy !req
504. - Oh, God, come here!Copy !req
505. I believe there is a two-state solution,
but this, this is beautiful.Copy !req
506. So, uh... So what's the plan here?Copy !req
507. Kick a hole in it?
Drop a big rock on it?Copy !req
508. Well, I got this pipe bomb
I been savin' for Easter.Copy !req
509. - Holy—
- Shit!Copy !req
510. - Oh, it's like grabbing my own ass.Copy !req
511. Yeah, I got a nice big solid seat,
don't I?Copy !req
512. - Andrew!Copy !req
513. What the fuck is goin' on in here?Copy !req
514. And why are you wearing Bubsie's wig?Copy !req
515. - My newspapers!
- Andrew, were you kissing your cousin?Copy !req
516. Don't look at me!
Everyone leave! Get amnesia!Copy !req
517. Look at how shocked you all are.Copy !req
518. Your pervert son
groped my daughter!Copy !req
519. Hey, only I get
to call my son a pervert.Copy !req
520. Oh, yeah? Take that.Copy !req
521. Whoever wins gets the ultimate prize.
My newspapers!Copy !req
522. Come on, no shoes.Copy !req
523. - Huh?
- Ooh, dang! That's how you sink a boat!Copy !req
524. Yes, it is.Copy !req
525. Huh?Copy !req
526. - No fair strangling.
- No, no, no!Copy !req
527. Stop it!Copy !req
528. I'm hot, and I'm sweaty,Copy !req
529. and life is too short for this shit!Copy !req
530. Sinkhole comin'.
You better run, Romeo.Copy !req
531. Marty, let go of your brother!Copy !req
532. Andrew, let go of your cousin!Copy !req
533. We are gettin' the hell outta
this GD shitholeCopy !req
534. with these terrible people!Copy !req
535. Are you gonna let your wife
talk to me that way?Copy !req
536. - My wife can do whatever she wants.
- What?Copy !req
537. 'Cause she's one hot number six combo.Copy !req
538. What the hell is that?Copy !req
539. General Tsao's chicken,
with a spring roll,Copy !req
540. and your choice of soft drink.Copy !req
541. Oh, Marty, that's your favorite.Copy !req
542. - No, you are.
- Aww!Copy !req
543. Andrew, let your cousin go!Copy !req
544. No, Cherry!Copy !req
545. No, I didn't get to finish.Copy !req
546. Oh, no, it got me!Copy !req
547. We sank a boooooat!Copy !req
548. Hey, guys, much like your ancestors,Copy !req
549. I think we should get the hell out,
not wait for the bread to rise.Copy !req
550. He listened to my story.Copy !req
551. Vamoose your caboose! All of you!Copy !req
552. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.Copy !req
553. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.Copy !req
554. Cherry!Copy !req
555. - Andrew, get in the car.
- But I love her.Copy !req
556. - Gross, you're my cousin.
- I know, I'm kidding, as if.Copy !req
557. - Floor it, Mr. Glouberman!Copy !req
558. - Tidal wave!Copy !req
559. This day, we need to part the seaCopy !req
560. Banshee, lend your power to me!Copy !req
561. First of all, I forgot my watch.Copy !req
562. Second of all, I love ya, Barbara.Copy !req
563. Let's go home, Marty.Copy !req
564. I told you someone was gonna die.Copy !req
565. I didn't know everyone was gonna die.Copy !req
566. - Holy shit.
- Did that just really happen?Copy !req
567. No, cookie puss.Copy !req
568. It's like the Bible, it's a metaphor.Copy !req
569. A metaphor for what?Copy !req
570. For Florida, baby. Hit it, Maury!Copy !req
571. Haha. Good At Bizness.Copy !req
572. - Chirp.
- Fathouse.Copy !req