1. Nick?Copy !req
2. How... could you?Copy !req
3. - Whoa, we did—
- The kiss. Yeah.Copy !req
4. - That was the kiss.
- And it was...Copy !req
5. - Uh...
- ... pretty great.Copy !req
6. - Yeah.
- Okay.Copy !req
7. - Okay.
- Bye.Copy !req
8. - Bye-bye.
- Bye.Copy !req
9. Okay, here's what we do.Copy !req
10. You grab his top lip,
I'll grab his bottom lipCopy !req
11. - and we peel his fucking face off.
- Yes. That way, we're not killing him.Copy !req
12. - We're just peeling his face off.
- Exactly.Copy !req
13. No, no, wait.Copy !req
14. He's my best friend. And fuck, we're
goin' to camp together in a few days.Copy !req
15. - I should give him a chance to come clean.Copy !req
16. Oh, hey, uh, what are you—
Why are you still at school?Copy !req
17. Why are you here?Copy !req
18. - What do I do? Should I tell him?
- No! It'll crush him.Copy !req
19. - Think of an amazing lie.
- Uh, um...Copy !req
20. I was just seeing if the cafeteria
served dinner.Copy !req
21. It does not.Copy !req
22. - Anything else you wanna tell me?
- Uh...Copy !req
23. Nope, see you later.Copy !req
24. - That liar.Copy !req
25. - Jesus, Caleb.
- Please sign my yearbook as Mr. Invisible,Copy !req
26. since no one can see you
in your black turtleneck.Copy !req
27. What? Your yearbook?Copy !req
28. - Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
- Okay.Copy !req
29. Oh, no. Stop!Copy !req
30. Stop kissing each other!Copy !req
31. I'm right here.Copy !req
32. I'm not invisible!Copy !req
33. - Oh, I just had the worst dream.
- Tell me about it.Copy !req
34. I just had a wet nightmare
about Mickey RourkeCopy !req
35. in a long paisley scarf.Copy !req
36. - Again?
- Yeah. Every night, brother.Copy !req
37. Mine was about Nick and Missy.Copy !req
38. - They were kissing.Copy !req
39. Holy shit, Andrew.Copy !req
40. - What?
- You're invisible.Copy !req
41. - I know. People take me for granted.
- No, look.Copy !req
42. Oh my God, where did I go?Copy !req
43. - Andrew! Breakfast is ready!Copy !req
44. I put garlic powder in your
oatmeal, like I've decided you like.Copy !req
45. Oh shit, Maury, if my parents see me,
they'll freak.Copy !req
46. They hate floating clothes.Copy !req
47. - Andrew!
- What do I do?Copy !req
48. - Uh... Quick. Undress.
- Right, I'll take my clothes off.Copy !req
49. Huh.Copy !req
50. - He must have gone to school already.
- Hmm.Copy !req
51. Nothin' makes me more aroused
than the absence of my son.Copy !req
52. How about a little moofky-poofky?Copy !req
53. - Oh, your hands smell like garlic powder.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
54. - Oh, honey.
- Oh, Marty.Copy !req
55. Ugh! Your poor bed is being suffocated
by those huge balls.Copy !req
56. - Ooh!
- Oh, God. Kill me.Copy !req
57. - Oh, fuck!Copy !req
58. This is amazing.Copy !req
59. - Every time I fart, I go in—Copy !req
60. - ... and out of invisibility.Copy !req
61. - Invisible.Copy !req
62. I'm back. And it stinks.Copy !req
63. Truly astounding, Andrew.Copy !req
64. You somehow made farting even cooler.Copy !req
65. I'm basically a superhero.Copy !req
66. Wait until everyone sees your power, baby.Copy !req
67. Do you know what I could do with this?Copy !req
68. I could shop at Lord & Taylor
for hours on endCopy !req
69. - without being judged.
- Sure. Okay.Copy !req
70. I'm gonna be the coolest dude
in school.Copy !req
71. That's right.
There was a freak storm last nightCopy !req
72. and everybody has superpowers.Copy !req
73. Is it related? Who cares?Copy !req
74. I call you the Harmonizer.Copy !req
75. You're a very talented artist, Caleb.
Is that your superpower?Copy !req
76. No, I am known as Lord Infinite.Copy !req
77. I am an all-powerful being.Copy !req
78. Jay, what the fuck is that?Copy !req
79. It's jizz, Matthew.Copy !req
80. I'm the first and last cum bender.Copy !req
81. - Check this out. Il's an Escalade.
- Amazing.Copy !req
82. Gina, how about you?Copy !req
83. Well, Matthew, I can stretch
any part of my body.Copy !req
84. Hey guys, it's me, Bull-ola.Copy !req
85. I've got the legs of a bull
and the body of me.Copy !req
86. And ultimately,Copy !req
87. I would swat a fly with my tail.Copy !req
88. Holy shit.Copy !req
89. Look at Nick.Copy !req
90. Hey, Andrew, check it out.
I'm Big Dick Boy.Copy !req
91. Big Dick Boy destroyin' property.Copy !req
92. Big prostate, peein' all night,
a little concerned.Copy !req
93. Pretty dope, huh?
Hey, what's your power?Copy !req
94. Uh, when I, uh... ahem, fart,Copy !req
95. - I turn invisible.
- Oh.Copy !req
96. And it only really works,
uh, if I'm totally nude.Copy !req
97. Invisible farting.Copy !req
98. That's a really great power, bud.Copy !req
99. Jessi, what's your power?Copy !req
100. I, uh...Copy !req
101. I don't seem to have one.Copy !req
102. Maybe you're the newspaper reporterCopy !req
103. - who gets saved.
- Oof.Copy !req
104. - Or maybe you're just a face in a locket.Copy !req
105. Oh God, there's Nick.
I shouldn't have kissed him, right?Copy !req
106. Oh, Lars is gonna be crushed.Copy !req
107. Who cares?Copy !req
108. I care!Copy !req
109. I'm a cheater.Copy !req
110. So break up with Lars, get together
with Nick and lie about the timeline.Copy !req
111. - Do people do that?
- Fuck, yeah! All the time.Copy !req
112. - Hey, Missy.
- Hi, Missy. I mean, hello, Missy.Copy !req
113. No, I mean, hi, lips. Or hi, Nick.Copy !req
114. - Wow, smackeroonies.
- Nice to see ya.Copy !req
115. - For sure. How lovely.
- Hey, so what are your powers?Copy !req
116. Well, what it is,
is that I can make storms.Copy !req
117. But I really can't control them
at this point. Sorry.Copy !req
118. I'm the Her-ricane.Copy !req
119. Spelled H-E-R, because
unfortunately, female superheroesCopy !req
120. have to have their gender specified
in their names.Copy !req
121. Well, Missy. I think your powers
are kind of electrifying.Copy !req
122. Great superhero word play,
cool personality.Copy !req
123. - Okay.
- Anyhow.Copy !req
124. - I guess I'll see you later or something.
- Great.Copy !req
125. Ooh, he likes you.Copy !req
126. - Do you really think so?
- Absolutely.Copy !req
127. It's time to give Lars the pink slip.Copy !req
128. And give Nick the pink slit.Copy !req
129. Moving forward, slit is not a word
that I'm comfortable withCopy !req
130. and I really don't see that changing.Copy !req
131. Whoa, how are you doing that?Copy !req
132. I'm telekinetic.Copy !req
133. - I can move objects with my mind.
- Huh.Copy !req
134. I'm making lasagna at home right now.Copy !req
135. That's amazing.Copy !req
136. So...Copy !req
137. Not to be an asshole but, in theory,Copy !req
138. you could use your mind
to make your legs—Copy !req
139. - What do you want, Andrew?
- Okay. All right. Okay.Copy !req
140. I'm afraid I have some
troubling information about Nick and MissyCopy !req
141. - and their lips—
- I don't want to hear it.Copy !req
142. - ... which kissed each other.
- Lies.Copy !req
143. - Truth!
- Lies!Copy !req
144. - Holy shit!Copy !req
145. Sorry, still here. Just invisible.Copy !req
146. - I fart when I'm scared.
- Why are you telling me this?Copy !req
147. I thought Nick was your best friend.Copy !req
148. Until he betrayed me.Copy !req
149. So now, you and I, Lars, it appears
we've become unlikely allies.Copy !req
150. - Where are you going? What will you do?
- Simple.Copy !req
151. Nick must die.Copy !req
152. I just stole this big pretzel
from Six Flags.Copy !req
153. My power's lit.Copy !req
154. Ugh, even Lump has powers?Copy !req
155. - Nick Birch, you've got some nerve.Copy !req
156. - What the hell, Lars?
- I know what you did.Copy !req
157. Wait. Missy told you?Copy !req
158. No! I was gonna talk to him after school.
I'm sorry, Lars.Copy !req
159. - It was I who told him that stuff.Copy !req
160. - Andrew?
- Told him what?Copy !req
161. - Nick kissed Missy.Copy !req
162. Gaaah!Copy !req
163. Oof! You snitched to Lars? You weasel.Copy !req
164. You're the fuckin' weasel.Copy !req
165. - I went to you, you lied to me about it.Copy !req
166. Move!Copy !req
167. - Guys, stop fighting.Copy !req
168. You should be mad at me, Lars.Copy !req
169. I'm the one who cheated.Copy !req
170. I thought you were gonna lie
about the timeline.Copy !req
171. This isn't how I wanted you to find out.Copy !req
172. I wanted to let you down gentlyCopy !req
173. in the young adult section
at Barnes & Noble.Copy !req
174. - Quit staring at her.Copy !req
175. The show's over,
you judgmental little fucks.Copy !req
176. Okay, enough with the superpowers.Copy !req
177. I have two days left until retirement.Copy !req
178. You can kill each other
when I'm on a pontoon boatCopy !req
179. drinking my grandchildren's names
out of my mind.Copy !req
180. And it's a jizzasaurus sex.Copy !req
181. - What the fuck, guys?
- We woke up even bigger assholesCopy !req
182. - than we already were.
- Society is our butt to fuck.Copy !req
183. What the fuck are you guys—Copy !req
184. Now that you're a drug-dealing cum god,Copy !req
185. you're cool enough to be a true Bilzerian.Copy !req
186. Father says you're ready
to take the Bilzerian oath.Copy !req
187. Wow, I'm finally becoming a member
of my own family?Copy !req
188. Now put your hand on this Criterion DVD
of The Devil's Advocate.Copy !req
189. - Whoa!
- I swear to fuck shit up goodlyCopy !req
190. and to always remain...Copy !req
191. A loyal Bilzerian.Copy !req
192. Asses to asses, nuts to nuts.Copy !req
193. - Welcome to the family, Cum Bender.Copy !req
194. And if you'll follow me this way,
this is my fruit dehydrator.Copy !req
195. I'm finally making my own raisins,
so I can cross that off my bucket list.Copy !req
196. Yeah, uh, your new place is great, Dad.Copy !req
197. - You all right, jelly bean?
- I just...Copy !req
198. Everybody seems to be doing super great,
and I'm kind of not.Copy !req
199. Oh, come here.Copy !req
200. - I have a new girlfriend.
- What?Copy !req
201. Oh, whoa, I was not gonna tell you
about that yet.Copy !req
202. But I'm dating the cheese sample girl
at Trader Joe's. Yay.Copy !req
203. - You are?
- Wait, Jessi, try touching him again.Copy !req
204. She's 25 and she has braces.
They're colored ones and I like 'em.Copy !req
205. Holy shit!Copy !req
206. You can make people tell the truth
by just touchin' 'em.Copy !req
207. You're like a demon Oprah.Copy !req
208. - I don't know when your birthday is.
- Dad!Copy !req
209. Sorry, I— I know it's like, July fourth,
but it's not as hot—Copy !req
210. - Dad!
- Give me a second, hold on, it's...Copy !req
211. God, what are the months?
Uh, April, April fourth, see? I got there.Copy !req
212. Oh, my God. It's April 16th.Copy !req
213. Sorry. You know what?Copy !req
214. I'll write it down on this envelope,
and I promise I'll never forget it again.Copy !req
215. All right, since I'm back at school now,
you guys can call me Coach Steve.Copy !req
216. I'm handsome now, Coach Steve.Copy !req
217. Let's play dodgeball.Copy !req
218. Hey, Jessie, Where's Missy?Copy !req
219. After that whole scene yesterday,
she didn't come to school.Copy !req
220. See what you did, Andrew?Copy !req
221. Fuck you, sit on this. Fuck your family.Copy !req
222. Now because my power is reading rooms,Copy !req
223. I'm gonna have Nick and Andrew,
the super friends,Copy !req
224. - be team captains, baby.
- Okay. I guess I'll go first.Copy !req
225. Typical Nick, putting himself first.Copy !req
226. - Typical Andrew, playing the victim.
- Oh yeah, fuckface?Copy !req
227. Well, at least I'm not a liar.Copy !req
228. I only lied because I know how crazy
and possessive you can be.Copy !req
229. No, Nick.Copy !req
230. You lied because
you knew what you did was reprehensible.Copy !req
231. Thank you. Lars, you're on my team.Copy !req
232. Missy isn't yours, Andrew.
Nick didn't steal her from you.Copy !req
233. Exactly.Copy !req
234. But Nick and Andrew are bros,Copy !req
235. and as the old saying goes,Copy !req
236. men before women.Copy !req
237. I'm Team Andrew. Surf's up.Copy !req
238. Dibs is heteronormative bullshit.Copy !req
239. Let me ask you this, Nick.Copy !req
240. How would you feel
if I hooked up with Gina?Copy !req
241. Well, I don't think
I have to worry about that.Copy !req
242. Oh, Nick, you cocky little shit.Copy !req
243. I'm on Andrew's team.Copy !req
244. Well, I'm Team Nick,
because he's got a pool.Copy !req
245. Really, Lola?Copy !req
246. What? I'm covered in flies.Copy !req
247. - Jessi, what about you?
- I have no opinion on this, OK?Copy !req
248. Oh, please, Jessi.
You have an opinion about everything.Copy !req
249. Just tell the truth.
That's your power, isn't it?Copy !req
250. No, her power is making other people
tell the truth.Copy !req
251. I call her the Scarlet Truther.Copy !req
252. I don't like that name, Caleb,Copy !req
253. and I don't want any part
in this dumb pissing contest.Copy !req
254. I'm out of here.Copy !req
255. - Jessi, come on.
- Come back, honey.Copy !req
256. - You don't know what you're saying.
- Well, let's play some dodgeball.Copy !req
257. You're like, out.Copy !req
258. Sports!Copy !req
259. Yah! Yes! I win! I win!Copy !req
260. The universe agrees with me.Copy !req
261. Missy is off-limits.Copy !req
262. Andrew's penis is bigger
than Nick's penis.Copy !req
263. Also, that.Copy !req
264. I'm keeping track
of all the penises I see.Copy !req
265. That asshole.Copy !req
266. He can't tell me
that somebody's off-limits.Copy !req
267. Yeah! If you like Missy,
that's your business.Copy !req
268. - Yeah.
- Who cares if Andrew's got a bigger dick?Copy !req
269. - Yeah.
- Because she likes you.Copy !req
270. - Yeah.
- So clearly big dicks are not her thing.Copy !req
271. Yeah. Yeah...Copy !req
272. I know I should be sad,Copy !req
273. but I can't stop thinking about that kiss.Copy !req
274. It felt like there was lightning
in my stomach.Copy !req
275. - And thunder in your unders.Copy !req
276. - Huh?Copy !req
277. - Nick!
- Hi, Missy.Copy !req
278. Uh, I wanted to ask you something.Copy !req
279. Do you maybe want to go out
with me tonight?Copy !req
280. - What?
- We could go play some mini golfCopy !req
281. at Golf Lundgren.Copy !req
282. - Yeah!Copy !req
283. Okay...Copy !req
284. I'll take that as a yes,Copy !req
285. and I'm just gonna put out this fire.Copy !req
286. Excuse me, somebody's soaking in here.Copy !req
287. - And, uh, I will see you tonight.
- It's a date.Copy !req
288. - I've always wanted to say that.
- Big dick jump! Brump! Brump!Copy !req
289. - Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!Copy !req
290. The nerve of this boy.Copy !req
291. - The absolute chutzpah of this child.Copy !req
292. We need to do something, we need to—
Wow. Whoa.Copy !req
293. That fart really resonated.
Uh, I'm nauseous.Copy !req
294. Oh, God. I need to sit down.Copy !req
295. Whoa, I need to— I need to lie down.Copy !req
296. The cheese girl?Copy !req
297. The one with the braces? Okay.
Great, good for him.Copy !req
298. Ugh, I— I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have told you.Copy !req
299. I'm sick of living in Bridgeton.
I wanna move to the city!Copy !req
300. What the fuck?Copy !req
301. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I just—
I think we both could use a change.Copy !req
302. But what about my school and my friends
and... what about Dad?Copy !req
303. Dad and the cheese slut?
They can come visit you in the city.Copy !req
304. I don't wanna move.Copy !req
305. Okay, let's just calm down.
We don't have to decide anything right—Copy !req
306. I've already put the house on the market.
I'm experimenting with BDSM in Brooklyn.Copy !req
307. - This is so unfair.Copy !req
308. I don't wanna go to a new school.Copy !req
309. Where in Brooklyn you goin', Shannon?Copy !req
310. - Maybe we can carpool.Copy !req
311. Sorry about your life, Jessi.Copy !req
312. Even though Dolph Lundgren
played a Russian in Rocky IV,Copy !req
313. which I haven't been allowed to see,Copy !req
314. - but I did IMDb him—
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
315. He's actually from Sweden,
which is a social democracy.Copy !req
316. - Okay. Cool.
- Not technically socialist.Copy !req
317. - That is not what I'm saying.
- Missy's kind of a—Copy !req
318. Dork, she's a dork.Copy !req
319. Big Dick Boy can't be with big dork girl.Copy !req
320. I don't know if you know,
but Dolph Lundgren went to MIT—Copy !req
321. It's time for me to reveal
my twisted plan.Copy !req
322. We're going to use our powersCopy !req
323. - to move Nick's ball...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
324. so he will never get
his precious hole in one.Copy !req
325. - Missy seeing he is not good at the gameCopy !req
326. will never let him get to third base,Copy !req
327. which is my biggest fear.Copy !req
328. It's perfect.Copy !req
329. That's a weak plan. I'm gonna make him
swallow a hundred golf teesCopy !req
330. and watch him hemorrhage
from the inside out.Copy !req
331. Uh... Oh. So, like, a— like, a murder?Copy !req
332. All righty, fuck nuggets.Copy !req
333. Plant these
in the Dolph Lundgren Porta Potties.Copy !req
334. What are they?Copy !req
335. - Radioactive Cotton Candy Brandy Bombs.Copy !req
336. My favorite.Copy !req
337. We're gonna blow these dookie coffins
sky high.Copy !req
338. I... I don't know.
That sounds pretty dangerous.Copy !req
339. Hey! Let me out!Copy !req
340. Val, what are you doing?Copy !req
341. Just having a little fun.Copy !req
342. - Kurt!Copy !req
343. I am the Shit Monster!Copy !req
344. A Dolph Lundgren shit monster.Copy !req
345. This looks like a job for Big Dick Boy.Copy !req
346. And the Her-ricane.Copy !req
347. Oof!Copy !req
348. - Oh, Nick. No!Copy !req
349. Come on, Lars, they need our help.Copy !req
350. Andrew, what are you doing here?Copy !req
351. I was on a date...
with, uh... Lars. First date.Copy !req
352. Were you two spying on us?Copy !req
353. Okay, yes, we were spying on you.
But we're here to help.Copy !req
354. Ooh!Copy !req
355. No! Don't hurt them.Copy !req
356. Don't worry, guys.Copy !req
357. Help is coming.Copy !req
358. Hey, I'm Spermvester Stallone.Copy !req
359. I'm made of cum, but I wanna fight.Copy !req
360. This is great.Copy !req
361. Ugh, ugh.Copy !req
362. What the fuck?Copy !req
363. How dare you use cum on your own family?Copy !req
364. What? Me?
You're the one that blew up Kurt.Copy !req
365. You're not a Bilzerian.Copy !req
366. Wait, please.Copy !req
367. - Guys! Guys!Copy !req
368. Nooooooooo!Copy !req
369. Holy shit.Copy !req
370. - You okay?
- Yeah. What about you?Copy !req
371. Yeah.Copy !req
372. - Hey, thanks for your help.
- No problem.Copy !req
373. Listen, Nick.
If you and Missy really like each other,Copy !req
374. I'm not gonna be the guy
that stands in the way of love,Copy !req
375. but you take care of her.Copy !req
376. You hear me?Copy !req
377. Thanks, Andrew.Copy !req
378. Would it be cool if I grabbed your forearm
while we shake hands?Copy !req
379. I'd like that, Nick.Copy !req
380. I would like that very much.Copy !req
381. Whoa, what a date, huh?
There was action and comedy, romance.Copy !req
382. Yeah, there was, like, shit everywhere.Copy !req
383. - Yeah.
- So—Copy !req
384. - Oh, uh...
- Oh.Copy !req
385. I think I just cut my lip on your braces
a little.Copy !req
386. Oh. Sorry.
I guess I went a little bit turbo.Copy !req
387. No, it's— it's fine.Copy !req
388. I'm not gonna—
I'm not gonna cry or anything.Copy !req
389. Did you maybe wanna come in?
My dad cries all the time.Copy !req
390. Oh, I would love to see your dad cry,
but, um... I wanna be freshCopy !req
391. - for the last day of school tomorrow.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
392. I can't wait to see you
in your graduation gown.Copy !req
393. - Send me a picture tonight?
- You'll see it tomorrow.Copy !req
394. - But I'd really like to have it tonight.
- Okay, tomorrow.Copy !req
395. - Call me when you get home.
- Bye.Copy !req
396. Walk away! Go, go, go! Move it.Copy !req
397. See you by the lockers tomorrow, Connie.Copy !req
398. And don't forget to bring your tongue.Copy !req
399. All right, tomorrow.Copy !req
400. Bye.Copy !req
401. This bitch is crazy.Copy !req
402. Welcome to seventh grade graduation,Copy !req
403. because every moment in your lives
deserves a four-hour ceremony.Copy !req
404. My mom's clearly already decided
we're moving.Copy !req
405. Isn't that messed up?Copy !req
406. Yeah. Everything's so weird
and complicated right now.Copy !req
407. - You mean you and Andrew?
- Mm— No.Copy !req
408. Sorta.Copy !req
409. - Never mind.
- Nick, what is it?Copy !req
410. - Hey, guys.
- Oh, it's nothing.Copy !req
411. - Come on.
- I don't really like Missy.Copy !req
412. It was just the excitement of the play
and now I don't know what to do.Copy !req
413. - What?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
414. - Jessi!
- Sorry.Copy !req
415. So you kiss Missy.
Then I give my blessingCopy !req
416. and now you decide
that you don't even like her?Copy !req
417. Let's circumcise this asshole.
Wolver Peen.Copy !req
418. Hey, future eighth graders. Hi, Nick.Copy !req
419. - Tell her.
- Tell me what?Copy !req
420. - Nothing. Everything's fine, Missy.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
421. - Hey!
- I don't actually like you.Copy !req
422. I got caught up in the play but in reality
we're not a good fit at all.Copy !req
423. - Ooh.
- Ooh. Oh...Copy !req
424. Oh, man. I'm sorry.Copy !req
425. - Oh, no.Copy !req
426. - Missy, no, no, no...Copy !req
427. What the fuck, Andrew?
Why would you do that?Copy !req
428. - Kick his ass!
- All right.Copy !req
429. I'm finally gonna give you
the beating you deserve.Copy !req
430. Ha-ha!Copy !req
431. That's right, idiot.Copy !req
432. I was nude under my robe.Copy !req
433. Oh, where did I go?Copy !req
434. - Oh! What's wrong? Cat got your knee?Copy !req
435. - Oh, God.Copy !req
436. If you want,
the studio will hire a writer for you.Copy !req
437. Hey, Nick, try rebounding from this.Copy !req
438. There's gotta be a way I can be
a Bilzerian but still be a good guy.Copy !req
439. Ugh. I wish Diane were here.
She'd know what to do.Copy !req
440. Jay, I am here.Copy !req
441. Diane mommy, made of cum?Copy !req
442. You need to show your family how to love.Copy !req
443. But how? That seems impossible.Copy !req
444. Well, you could start by turning
this shithole into a home.Copy !req
445. - Huh.
- Take it from me, I'm your cum.Copy !req
446. She's right, we can't live like this.Copy !req
447. I know what I have to do,
but it will take all of my cum.Copy !req
448. Cummmmmm...Copy !req
449. Cummmmmm...Copy !req
450. What the heck is going on?Copy !req
451. Ow, I squished my hog.Copy !req
452. Andrew! Andrew!Copy !req
453. It's more of a chode.Copy !req
454. Everybody, please stop fighting. Whoa!Copy !req
455. Missy, if you come back to me now,Copy !req
456. I promise I won't destroy you.Copy !req
457. I don't belong to you.Copy !req
458. I don't belong to anyone!Copy !req
459. Cummmmmm...Copy !req
460. Cummmmmm...Copy !req
461. - Aah! Basic-ass bitch.Copy !req
462. I'm not basic, my husband is black.Copy !req
463. Baby, no. No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
464. What a shitshow.Copy !req
465. Yeah. I can't believe this is my last day
at Bridgeton.Copy !req
466. - What are you talking about?
- My mom wants us to move to the city.Copy !req
467. - Oh! You can't move. I need you.
- Oh, Matthew.Copy !req
468. But honestly, I have a boyfriend
so I'll be fine.Copy !req
469. Oh, damn your power.Copy !req
470. - Ugh. Even you.
- Wait, Jessi.Copy !req
471. - Whatevs.
- Ohh...Copy !req
472. If I can't have you, nobody can.Copy !req
473. Stop! Lars!Copy !req
474. You don't have to do this.Copy !req
475. Why are you such a fuckin' asshole to me?Copy !req
476. God, I'm sorry I kissed Missy. Okay?Copy !req
477. - But I'm not talkin' about Missy.Copy !req
478. I'm talkin' about everything.Copy !req
479. Every moment of our friendship,Copy !req
480. you've treated me like shit.Copy !req
481. Like I'm second class
'cause my parents are embarrassing,Copy !req
482. because I'm hairy and weird-looking.Copy !req
483. And then you have the nerve
to say you're my best friend.Copy !req
484. I'm sick of it, Nick.Copy !req
485. I'm sick of it!Copy !req
486. Do it, Missy.Copy !req
487. Unleash the storm!Copy !req
488. Hey, Caleb, my dude.
What are you drawing?Copy !req
489. Big Dick Boy kissed Her-ricane
and that made Mr. Invisible feel angry.Copy !req
490. They used to be allies,
and now they're mortal enemies.Copy !req
491. Whoa, good story. And then what happened?Copy !req
492. Even I, Lord Infinite, do not know.Copy !req
493. Oh, so this whole thing was in your head?Copy !req
494. Reality is only a construct.Copy !req
495. Wow, yeah, no, I knew that.Copy !req
496. You okay, Nicky?Copy !req
497. You've hardly touched your blins.Copy !req
498. - Too much lemon ricotta?Copy !req
499. I'm just worried about going to camp
with Andrew.Copy !req
500. We got in a pretty nasty fight.Copy !req
501. Well, whenever your mother and I quarrel,Copy !req
502. I try to look at things
from her point of view.Copy !req
503. - He puts on my nightgown.
- Ooh!Copy !req
504. Maybe you should put yourself
in Andrew's nightgown.Copy !req
505. Yeah, you're right.
I guess I should put myself in his shoes.Copy !req
506. Nicky, I never raise my voice with you,Copy !req
507. but it needs to be a nightgown.Copy !req
508. - Holy fuck.Copy !req
509. - It's as clean as a doctor's cunt in here.
- Jay, did you do this?Copy !req
510. I love you guys.Copy !req
511. - Fuck you.
- What the hell is this?Copy !req
512. I stole plates from the Birches
and I made us a turkey.Copy !req
513. - All right.
- For eating.Copy !req
514. Not fucking.Copy !req
515. I know. Duh.Copy !req
516. Jay, you're such a good boy.Copy !req
517. And a worthy Bilzerian.Copy !req
518. Wait till I teach you guys
about mouth sauce.Copy !req
519. I know what mouth sauce is, son.Copy !req
520. It's what I keep in my nuts for your mom.Copy !req
521. Dad, you gotta do stand-up comedy.Copy !req
522. My heart...Copy !req
523. it just hurts so much, Mona.Copy !req
524. Why doesn't Nick like me?Copy !req
525. 'Cause he's a shitty little idiot.Copy !req
526. Andrew, Lars, they're all
fucking shit-iots.Copy !req
527. - Right.
- None of them are worth your tears.Copy !req
528. - They don't deserve me.
- Let's burn them allCopy !req
529. and rise from the ashes
stark naked with three dragons.Copy !req
530. Yeah, I think I'm finally ready to watch
Game of Thrones this summer.Copy !req
531. Mm, I'm more into Westworld, but okay.Copy !req
532. Hey, uh, Andrew,Copy !req
533. I wanted to come by
and— and just say I'm sorry.Copy !req
534. I think I thought I was,
like, a big dick boy,Copy !req
535. but I think I was just a big dick.Copy !req
536. Thanks, Nick.Copy !req
537. I'm sorry, too.Copy !req
538. Cool. Uh, okay,
we are done with that fight.Copy !req
539. - I'm very excited for camp.
- Oh. Um...Copy !req
540. - I'm not going to camp.
- What do you mean, not going to camp?Copy !req
541. Nick, I bear you no ill will,Copy !req
542. but I think...Copy !req
543. I think you're a piece of shit.Copy !req
544. - Oh.
- You're not a good person...Copy !req
545. at all.Copy !req
546. And I don't wanna be friends with you.Copy !req
547. Uh... okay...Copy !req
548. Maury, is the boy serious?Copy !req
549. Afraid so, Connie.Copy !req
550. He practiced that speech in the mirror,
like, all morning.Copy !req
551. Okay, that's all I had prepared.Copy !req
552. Fucking nailed it, in my opinion.Copy !req
553. Okay. I guess I'll...Copy !req
554. see you in eighth grade, then.Copy !req
555. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
556. Hey, look at that, you made one in.Copy !req
557. Aw, come here, big guy.Copy !req
558. Six weeks.Copy !req
559. Lot of big feelings, huh.Copy !req
560. I can't believe he's really not coming.Copy !req
561. That's cause he don't love you no more.Copy !req
562. Why? Whyyyy?Copy !req
563. Burn, baby. Burn.Copy !req
564. Maybe it's for the best.Copy !req
565. I mean the city's cool
and everyone here sucks anyway.Copy !req
566. Ooh, yeah, I love the city.
First I'm gonna hit up Times Square,Copy !req
567. then I might go to TKTS.
I am dying to see Lion King.Copy !req
568. - You go right. He's so slow.Copy !req
569. - Whoa! Whoa!
- You almost got me.Copy !req
570. Oh, Guy, stop it.Copy !req
571. - Here we go, uh-oh.Copy !req
572. - Birch! Oh-ho!
- Yeah, there he is.Copy !req
573. Are you gonna moon those girls
at Tapawingo again?Copy !req
574. Ha-ha, you know it.Copy !req
575. - I'll show my butt to anyone.Copy !req
576. - Yeah.
- All right.Copy !req
577. It's summer.Copy !req
578. Andrew! Why aren't you at camp?Copy !req
579. - Because I am not going to camp, Dad.
- What the hell are you talking about?Copy !req
580. We said goodbye to you last night.Copy !req
581. You didn't say goodbye.Copy !req
582. You said goodnight to the TV,
which you do every night.Copy !req
583. Well, you're goin' to camp.
I already paid for it.Copy !req
584. No, Nick is there
and he and I are fighting.Copy !req
585. Nick? Who the hell is Nick?Copy !req
586. He's nobody to me.Copy !req
587. Aren't you gonna ask me
about my eye patch?Copy !req
588. Haha. Good At Bizness.Copy !req
589. - Chirp.
- Fathouse.Copy !req