1. I'm worried about Alex Trebek.
He looks too skinny.Copy !req
2. Barbara, shush!
You made me miss the question.Copy !req
3. Jeopardy! doesn't give
questions, Marty, they give answers.Copy !req
4. All right, who is "you know
what the hell I meant"?Copy !req
5. - Thank you, sir.
- You are welcome, sir.Copy !req
6. Oh, a virgin sock? Ooh-la-la.Copy !req
7. Yes, the elastic on it stretched, so...Copy !req
8. - It's not a foot sock anymore.
- Indeed.Copy !req
9. - I have the scriptures, Rabbi Glouberman.
- Thank you.Copy !req
10. Printing out a picture
of your dad's associate SusanCopy !req
11. was a stroke of genius.Copy !req
12. - Who knew a kid could just join Linkedln?
- Not I. Now pull your pud.Copy !req
13. First I must shield the eyes
of the innocent.Copy !req
14. You're a decent man.Copy !req
15. Yeah, get that special sauce.Copy !req
16. It begins.Copy !req
17. There we go.
Visualize, focus.Copy !req
18. Interesting. Yes!Copy !req
19. - Yes...Copy !req
20. Well, how about that?
Plump tomato did it this time.Copy !req
21. - Yes.
- You ever actually fuck a tomato?Copy !req
22. - It's like fucking a sneeze.
- You find a sneeze sexual?Copy !req
23. - Ooh, I find everything sexual.
- What about a chair?Copy !req
24. - Sit on it, brother.
- An airplane?Copy !req
25. Big dick flying through the sky.Copy !req
26. What about a button-down shirt?Copy !req
27. You mean a gaping butthole and ten clits?Copy !req
28. What?Copy !req
29. Ugh. This thing's like an Ace bandage.Copy !req
30. It looks like I sprained my tits.Copy !req
31. Guinea piglet, what are you doing
with that bra?Copy !req
32. - It's the only one I have.
- Get rid!Copy !req
33. Do you ever have anything positive to say?Copy !req
34. - Ex-squash me?
- It's just you're such a bummer.Copy !req
35. All you do is make me sore
and hairy and bloatedCopy !req
36. and, like, want to cry all the time.Copy !req
37. - Well, fuck you!
- Fuck you too!Copy !req
38. Honey, let's not do this
to each other, all right?Copy !req
39. We can have fun.
I can make you feel good.Copy !req
40. When have you ever made me feel good?Copy !req
41. Don't you remember the Jacuzzi jets?Copy !req
42. - You were there?
- I've always been there.Copy !req
43. Like when your mother
showed you Dirty Dancin'.Copy !req
44. Oh, his hips,
they could do some things.Copy !req
45. Dirty things, and you liked it.Copy !req
46. Yeah. It was like a feeling
in my stomach, but deep down.Copy !req
47. That's just the beginning.Copy !req
48. There's a whole world of feelings
down there.Copy !req
49. Now, come here, baby.
Let's do the lift.Copy !req
50. - Really?
- Really.Copy !req
51. We are gonna have the time of our lives.Copy !req
52. How is writing a book report a skill
I'm ever gonna use in real life?Copy !req
53. When I'm an NBA point guard,Copy !req
54. it's not like I'll write a report
about how well I dunked.Copy !req
55. I'm doing mine on the current issue
of Abraca-Daily.Copy !req
56. But Ms. Razz said that it had to be
on a work of historical fiction.Copy !req
57. Ms. Razz can suck my historical dick-tion.Copy !req
58. Nailed it. I already read this.
Why would I read something else?Copy !req
59. I don't mind reading so much.
My book's pretty cool. Ask me about it.Copy !req
60. "What's it about, Andrew?" It's about
an astronomer in the Middle AgesCopy !req
61. who discovers another planet,
and the church is mad.Copy !req
62. - So he has to go to the Vatican—
- Ooh, the Vatican?Copy !req
63. - Does he kill hookers?
- No, but he does perjure himself.Copy !req
64. Oh, boy-oy-oy-oy...Copy !req
65. - Uh, you okay over there, Missy?
- This book is...Copy !req
66. Really good!
It's called The Rock of Gibraltar.Copy !req
67. It won the Gerson Prize
for historical fiction.Copy !req
68. You should read it, for Gustavo alone.Copy !req
69. What's the book about?Copy !req
70. Ooh! Well...Copy !req
71. the book takes place
during the Moorish rule in Spain,Copy !req
72. so there's this knight,
Gustavo of Sevilla,Copy !req
73. who falls in love
with a Moorish princess, Fatima—Copy !req
74. - Well, it sounds—
- Gustavo's Catholic and she's Islamic,Copy !req
75. and their love is forbidden.Copy !req
76. But then Gustavo needs to see her
because he loves her so much.Copy !req
77. - Yeah, no, I'm gonna get—
- He contacts the gypsy sorceror El Colon,Copy !req
78. who gives Gustavo the ability
to turn into a horse...Copy !req
79. - I got it.
- ... just so he can visit Fatima,Copy !req
80. she meets him in the stables
and she rides himCopy !req
81. and he loves her so much
but they can never truly be togetherCopy !req
82. - because of their time—
- You really read the book.Copy !req
83. When Gustavo and Fatima are together
I feel like I'm sitting on a fountainCopy !req
84. - and there's fireworks in my stomach—
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
85. - Read that book.
- Yeah, I think I should.Copy !req
86. We're lucky men, Marty.Copy !req
87. To our magnificent boys Nicky and Andrew,Copy !req
88. what great friends
they found in each other.Copy !req
89. And to our wives, our beautiful,
surprising, sensual wives.Copy !req
90. Cheers!Copy !req
91. How many times is he gonna walk by
and not bring me more bread?Copy !req
92. - We still have some.
- What are you, on his side?Copy !req
93. - Marty, I'm not on the waiter's side.
- He's not a waiter!Copy !req
94. He's a busboy.
What are you promoting him for?Copy !req
95. Oh, this looks good.Copy !req
96. I think Elliot's waiting because
his wife's food hasn't arrived yet.Copy !req
97. Elliot could do what he wants.Copy !req
98. But I'm not letting my scallops
get ice-cold.Copy !req
99. Oh, well, God forbid.Copy !req
100. Cold scallops is how I got
food poisoning in West Palm, remember?Copy !req
101. - I remember.
- Then in Atlantic City, twice in Cape CodCopy !req
102. - and then again in Atlantic City—
- I remember. You shit the bed.Copy !req
103. I'm referring to that!Copy !req
104. Maybe you should stop
eating scallops, Marty.Copy !req
105. And let the scallops win?
Ha! They'd love that.Copy !req
106. So, I know you weren't interested
in book club,Copy !req
107. but we read
the most amazing book this month.Copy !req
108. It won the Gerson Prize
for historical fiction.Copy !req
109. Oh, I'm not a history buff.Copy !req
110. No, listen, you will like this.Copy !req
111. It's a love story
between Fatima and Gustavo.Copy !req
112. Trust me, it's very... compelling.Copy !req
113. You're winking. It is it not compelling?Copy !req
114. It's a sexy book, Barbara.
Just take the sexy book.Copy !req
115. - You'll like it.
- All right.Copy !req
116. "The Rock of Gibraltar"?Copy !req
117. Did Diane tell you we read it together?Copy !req
118. We like to incorporate reading
into our intimate time.Copy !req
119. Once all we had handy was a copy
of If I Did It by OJ Simpson.Copy !req
120. - Oh, God.
- And we definitely did it that night.Copy !req
121. Made love, not murdered
our estranged spouse.Copy !req
122. - And let's not forget Ron Goldman.
- Ron Goldman. Speaking of waiters,Copy !req
123. where the hell is that guy?Copy !req
124. Oh, these scallops.
Where's the men's room?Copy !req
125. - And we need more bread!
- Ugh.Copy !req
126. Fatima knew
if her father caught herCopy !req
127. running down to the stables at this hourCopy !req
128. he would forbid her
from studying at la universidad.Copy !req
129. But was it her fault
that she craved a ride?Copy !req
130. Fatima, come to me.Copy !req
131. I am hungry for your touch
and for warm spiced oats.Copy !req
132. Wait, did you guys read through lunch?Copy !req
133. Wow. Uh, yes, we did.Copy !req
134. You must really like that book.Copy !req
135. Right now Fatima is trying
to track Gustavo's movementsCopy !req
136. by following the stars, so she creates
a rudimentary astronomy lab.Copy !req
137. Oh, my God, have you read
Doubting Andreas?Copy !req
138. He too creates a rudimentary
astronomy lab.Copy !req
139. Have you ever looked up at the stars
and thought, "The world is so big"?Copy !req
140. - "And I'm so small"?
- And yet so loud.Copy !req
141. This is the library.
Please go away, I am reading.Copy !req
142. Jesus. Okay.Copy !req
143. Let's go see if that science teacher
is still crying.Copy !req
144. Fatima looked down
at her intricately laced bodice,Copy !req
145. her sensual, ripe breasts
bursting from—Copy !req
146. See what I mean?
That brassiere is U-G-L-Y.Copy !req
147. - It ain't got no alibi. It's—
- Dog shit, I know.Copy !req
148. Really? The Rock of Gibraltar.Copy !req
149. Why is every girl I know
obsessed with this?Copy !req
150. Well, there is this incredible romanceCopy !req
151. between Fatima and... Gustavo.Copy !req
152. So, what, do they kiss privates
or what's the deal?Copy !req
153. - Kiss privates?
- You know what I mean.Copy !req
154. Do they have sex?
No, Nicky, they can't. That's the point.Copy !req
155. - That's where the tension comes from.
- Of course, the tension.Copy !req
156. You have no idea why girls
read this book, do you?Copy !req
157. - Yeah, I do.
- Because it turns them on.Copy !req
158. What was that now?
- Newsflash: girls get horny too.Copy !req
159. - Don't tell me you didn't know that.
- Of course I did.Copy !req
160. Girls are just as horny as boys.
We just don't talk about it constantly.Copy !req
161. Hmm.Copy !req
162. Hey, Lia, I just remembered
I have a book report to write. Um...Copy !req
163. - Can I borrow Rock of Gibraltar?
- Fine.Copy !req
164. I don't know what you're up to,
you little perv,Copy !req
165. but I like the journey you're on.Copy !req
166. I still don't see what the rush is, honey.Copy !req
167. You've already got a perfectly nice bra.Copy !req
168. You tell Shannon you do not want nice.Copy !req
169. You want two scoops of Haagen-Dazs
French vanilla boobies.Copy !req
170. Mom, I want something... voluptuous.Copy !req
171. A woman's bosom should resemble
the wild, sweet oranges of ValenciaCopy !req
172. which yearn to be plucked.Copy !req
173. Oh, honey, buying a fancy bra
won't make you look like these models.Copy !req
174. They all have their ribs removed
and their buttholes bleached.Copy !req
175. I get it. I just want a grownup bra, okay?Copy !req
176. This one! This is the one.Copy !req
177. Tell Shannon you'll kill yourself
if you don't get it.Copy !req
178. How about this one?Copy !req
179. I don't know, Jessi.
Is this bra really... you?Copy !req
180. Yes! Of course it's you!Copy !req
181. - It's always been you!
- Shh, shh. I got this.Copy !req
182. Was it not you, Mom,
who insisted from an early ageCopy !req
183. that I quote, "embrace my power,"
end quote, as a female?Copy !req
184. Yes, but this red bra.Copy !req
185. I mean, this is a power
that you can't handle yet.Copy !req
186. Are you trying to make me afraid
of my own sexuality?Copy !req
187. No, Jessi—
- Are you slut-shaming me?Copy !req
188. I would never slut-shame you.Copy !req
189. Are you the patriarchy?Copy !req
190. Oh, my God, of course not.Copy !req
191. Go in for the kill.Copy !req
192. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, quote,Copy !req
193. "Do one thing every day that scares you,"
closed quote,Copy !req
194. and I think this red bra
scares both of us.Copy !req
195. - Oh, my God, we did it!Copy !req
196. - We got a bra, oh, my God!Copy !req
197. You think you're excited.Copy !req
198. I just found out Dippin' Dots
isn't fluorescent guinea pig doodies.Copy !req
199. - It's ice cream.
- But you were eating it anyway?Copy !req
200. Yeah. Couldn't figure out
why these doodies were so delicious, so.Copy !req
201. What are you, bra shopping or what?Copy !req
202. Shark Tank is making me nuts.Copy !req
203. I know that rotten kid stole my idea
for the illuminated toilet seat.Copy !req
204. - I'm reading.
- I never put it on paper,Copy !req
205. I never said it out loud, but somehow
he crawled into my brainCopy !req
206. and he stole my intellectual property.Copy !req
207. Fatima, I need you.Copy !req
208. My love, if my father sees you
he will have you killed.Copy !req
209. After tonight, we need never fear again.Copy !req
210. I have spoken to El Colon.Copy !req
211. Tomorrow, I become horse.Copy !req
212. But the transformation,
it will be painful, yes?Copy !req
213. Hush now, my love.Copy !req
214. We will face tomorrow when it comes.Copy !req
215. Tonight... we dance.Copy !req
216. I want to hold you close, Barbara.Copy !req
217. - Oh, but we shouldn't.
- But we must.Copy !req
218. Hey, did you put my toilet seat idea
on FacebookCopy !req
219. or did you mention it
to one of your friends?Copy !req
220. Perhaps I should leave you two alone.Copy !req
221. No. Gustavo, please.Copy !req
222. Barbara, I must go,Copy !req
223. because... I don't like him.Copy !req
224. You know what I'm gonna do?
Get a lawyer and sue that kid.Copy !req
225. - Do you mind? I'm reading.
- Fine!Copy !req
226. I'm going to sleep. Oh.Copy !req
227. Oh, God.Copy !req
228. I can't believe
I ate those scallops again.Copy !req
229. Oh, Marty!Copy !req
230. Listen, while you're up, there's a thing
of Rolaids in my dress shoes.Copy !req
231. Okay, show-off.
What are you, Mr. Library now?Copy !req
232. President of Books, Comptroller of...Copy !req
233. - Jay, you're out of steam.
- Shut up, I got this.Copy !req
234. - Books. Fuck!
- Guys, I think I'm onto something.Copy !req
235. There's a reason all the girls
are reading this book.Copy !req
236. - Lia told me. It turns them on.
Huh?Copy !req
237. Get this: girls are horny too.Copy !req
238. - Just as horny as guys, supposedly.Copy !req
239. - No, no, that's impossible.
- What's impossible?Copy !req
240. According to Nick, girls are horny too.Copy !req
241. What the...?Copy !req
242. There's no way
girls are as horny as I am.Copy !req
243. That's true. Jay fucks his pillow.Copy !req
244. I also once fucked
this really sexy bag of potting soil.Copy !req
245. - See? They can't be like Jay.
- To completion.Copy !req
246. - The boy is a deviant.
- I'm not allowed back in that greenhouse.Copy !req
247. All I know is Lia says girls get horny.Copy !req
248. So you're telling me Devon gets horny?Copy !req
249. - Yeah.
- Yes!Copy !req
250. - What about Principal Baron?
- Apparently, they all do.Copy !req
251. - All of them!
- But not...Copy !req
252. - Missy?
- Andrew, she's reading that bookCopy !req
253. and evidently,
that's one of their triggers.Copy !req
254. My God, you're right. Missy gets horny.Copy !req
255. I'm telling you, they all do.Copy !req
256. This book makes them horny?
It's just porn, then, right?Copy !req
257. They're walking around school
reading porn!Copy !req
258. - Actually, no.
- Jesus, this is no fair!Copy !req
259. Girls walking around school
reading porn,Copy !req
260. and I make one drawing
of 23 teachers having consensual sex,Copy !req
261. and I'm the creep.Copy !req
262. Yeah, I wasn't included in the drawing,
but that's okay.Copy !req
263. It was just the academic teachersCopy !req
264. is how he did the cutoff there, so...Copy !req
265. So, what, this is gonna be on The Office
or Modern Family or what?Copy !req
266. Boy, these straight to camera testimonials
are great for narrative structure.Copy !req
267. They're a crutch,
but they cut right to the chase.Copy !req
268. They really help with story.Copy !req
269. Not in this case.
This is a, you know, a departure,Copy !req
270. but they'll find their way back.Copy !req
271. - Look at me. Look at me.Copy !req
272. - Okay.
- You are Fatima.Copy !req
273. - You are sexy.
- Really? I don't know.Copy !req
274. - You do know.
- What do I know?Copy !req
275. How to dance!Copy !req
276. Holy shit, is that Jessi?Copy !req
277. Whoa!Copy !req
278. Whoa!Copy !req
279. Own it, bitch.Copy !req
280. So trashy.Copy !req
281. Please, Jessi, I have $28.
I want to give it to you.Copy !req
282. Well, bonjour to the lovely Ms. Glaser.Copy !req
283. one of the Kardashians?Copy !req
284. Ow!Copy !req
285. What the hell? Why are you crying?Copy !req
286. Because it's all so overwhelming.Copy !req
287. My mom was right.Copy !req
288. - Don't you ever say that again.
- What? She said I wasn't ready,Copy !req
289. and I wasn't ready
for all those eyes on me.Copy !req
290. - But you liked some of them.
- I know!Copy !req
291. But what about Mr. Lizer
and Jay and... Lola.Copy !req
292. - I want to throw this thing away.
- Yes, drown the bra. Kill it!Copy !req
293. Or maybe I could just
put it in my backpack.Copy !req
294. Yeah, keep it. I still love it, too.Copy !req
295. So, we know girls read the book
because it makes them horny.Copy !req
296. And we know Jessi is reading the book,Copy !req
297. ergo Jessi is horny
and she's wearing a red bra,Copy !req
298. which means she wants us
to know she's horny.Copy !req
299. - Or she just likes the bra.
- The bra isn't a bra.Copy !req
300. - It's a signal.
- Okay, let's say it is a signal.Copy !req
301. - What do we even do with that?
- I don't see what we can do with that.Copy !req
302. We can relieve Jessi of her horniness
by touching her boobs.Copy !req
303. She'll be grateful.
I know if I was walking aroundCopy !req
304. with a red bra on my dick, I'd want
somebody to touch my dick, right?Copy !req
305. You're a little fuckin' freak,
I like hanging out with you.Copy !req
306. Mi amor, you look fantástica.Copy !req
307. - Oh!
- Martín is a muy lucky man.Copy !req
308. Muchas gracias.Copy !req
309. - And it's Marty.
- Go to him.Copy !req
310. Go to... Marty?Copy !req
311. Good Christ,
are you eating scallops again?Copy !req
312. They're leftovers!
Why are you so dressed up?Copy !req
313. I thought maybe we could...Copy !req
314. - What?
- You know...Copy !req
315. Oh! Oh.Copy !req
316. Oh, all right.Copy !req
317. Let me go sit on the toilet
for a minute, clear the pipes.Copy !req
318. - You know, the scallops.Copy !req
319. - Forget it!
- What's the matter?Copy !req
320. You know what the matter is?
You are not Gustavo.Copy !req
321. The horse? You're mad
'cause I'm not a horse.Copy !req
322. I'm not mad you're not a horse,
I'm mad that you don't love meCopy !req
323. as much as you love the GD scallops.Copy !req
324. What? That's crazy.
I love you both, in different ways.Copy !req
325. Ooh, speaking of which...Copy !req
326. Oh, Marty.Copy !req
327. This scallop man, he does not know
how to treat a woman.Copy !req
328. - I know.Copy !req
329. ¡Dios mío!Copy !req
330. Even when I was a horse I did not make
noises or smells of this nature.Copy !req
331. Hey. Just wanted to let you know,
I read you loud and clear.Copy !req
332. - Excuse me?
- Signal received.Copy !req
333. - I sent no signal.
- Yeah, wink-wink. I get it.Copy !req
334. Uh-oh, Dickarus is flying
too close to the sun.Copy !req
335. But if he's right it changes everything.Copy !req
336. Like when a baboon is in heat
and presents its red bum-bumCopy !req
337. so the other baboons know
it's time to monkey around.Copy !req
338. What the fuck are you talking about?Copy !req
339. Hello! The red bra, the book.
I know how horny you are.Copy !req
340. And as your friend,
I want to help you outCopy !req
341. by touching your boob—Copy !req
342. And now you're choking me.Copy !req
343. And I'm wondering if maybe that's not
what you wanted me to do.Copy !req
344. No, that's not what I wanted you to do.Copy !req
345. I just thought, when I get horny,
I want somebody—Copy !req
346. You have no idea what I want,
you fucknut shitbag!Copy !req
347. - Huh, I guess the bra wasn't a signal.
- And Jessi is very strong.Copy !req
348. Hi Andrew, if you're finished
with Doubting Andreas,Copy !req
349. I thought you might like to borrow
my copy of The Rock of Gibraltar.Copy !req
350. - You think I would like it?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
351. There's telescopes and compasses
and Islamic art,Copy !req
352. basically everything you want
in an interesting book.Copy !req
353. - And of course there's Gustavo.Copy !req
354. Anyway, it's definitely worth a read.Copy !req
355. There's something for everyone
in there, I think.Copy !req
356. Whew! I gotta get to jazz club.Copy !req
357. - Was that a signal?
- I don't know. I'm very confused.Copy !req
358. Whoo!Copy !req
359. Did you guys see Jessi
choking me out over there?Copy !req
360. Yeah. She gets pretty angry
when she's horny.Copy !req
361. - Lia.
- Hey, Nicky.Copy !req
362. I had some questions
re: The Rock of Gibraltar.Copy !req
363. Are you up to the part where
she grooms him with sweet almond oil?Copy !req
364. Yeah, actually, re: almond oil,Copy !req
365. girls don't want to have sex with horses.Copy !req
366. That's not what this book
is about, right?Copy !req
367. Of course not!
The horse part isn't what's sexy.Copy !req
368. It's the fact that they can't have sex
that's so hot.Copy !req
369. This is where you lose me.
What's so hot about not having sex?Copy !req
370. See, you're thinking like a guy.
Women are different.Copy !req
371. - Sometimes we think sex itself is sexy.
- Great news.Copy !req
372. But other times we imagine
a faceless dudeCopy !req
373. walking around with a baby
in a Baby Bjorn, and that's sexy.Copy !req
374. - So babies and no faces are sexy?
- No, you tiny dum-dum.Copy !req
375. It's a lot of different things.Copy !req
376. Sometimes we think a smell is sexy,Copy !req
377. - or sushi or Dr. Drew Pinsky.
- What?Copy !req
378. Or like a million other incomprehensible
things, you know what I mean?Copy !req
379. So The Rock of Gibraltar,
it's about sexCopy !req
380. because it's about everything around sex.Copy !req
381. - See what I'm saying?
- Look at that.Copy !req
382. Our inquisitive son, our wise daughter,Copy !req
383. working together to solve
the mysteries of human desire.Copy !req
384. I know, sweetheart. I credit you.Copy !req
385. No, no, no, I credit you.Copy !req
386. No, no, I credit you.Copy !req
387. I wanna credit you all night long.Copy !req
388. - Why don't we go and affirm each other?
- I'm already affirmed right now.Copy !req
389. Oh, you devil dog.Copy !req
390. Some might say it's weird
they're getting turned onCopy !req
391. by their children
talking about what's sexy.Copy !req
392. But I'm not here to judge.
I'm just here to watch.Copy !req
393. Jay is so gross.Copy !req
394. He doesn't know what I want.Copy !req
395. Yeah! He doesn't.Copy !req
396. Jessi, what do you want?Copy !req
397. I don't know. I know I like this,Copy !req
398. and I thought I was gonna like this.Copy !req
399. You did like that.Copy !req
400. Yeah, but everyone's reaction to it
made me feel so weird.Copy !req
401. Who cares about everyone else?Copy !req
402. Maybe it's time to get to know yourself.Copy !req
403. Oh, you mean take a look in it?Copy !req
404. Yeah, take a gander.
It's yours, isn't it?Copy !req
405. Uh, okay, sure.Copy !req
406. Can I get some privacy?Copy !req
407. Of course, pecorino.Copy !req
408. If you need me I'll be in the bubble bath
watching Dr. Drew Pinsky.Copy !req
409. He looks like a sexy turtle.Copy !req
410. Here goes something.Copy !req
411. - Um... hello?
- Hey, girl, hey!Copy !req
412. Oh, my God, I have been dying to meet you.Copy !req
413. Oh, cool. Okay. Hi, I'm Jessi.Copy !req
414. Well, I'm your genitals.Copy !req
415. What's up?
- I was wondering when you'd—Copy !req
416. - I'm sorry, you go first.
- Wait!Copy !req
417. - Jinx!
- We just talked at the same time.Copy !req
418. - We're having fun.
- This is fun.Copy !req
419. I have to say, you are not
what I was expecting.Copy !req
420. - Do you want the grand tour?
- Uh, yes, please.Copy !req
421. Great. Okay.Copy !req
422. Well, up top, la-la-la-la,Copy !req
423. this is the clitoris.Copy !req
424. It is where the party happens.Copy !req
425. What do you mean by "party"?Copy !req
426. Oh, gosh. Have you ever been
electrocuted, but in a good way?Copy !req
427. - No.
- Okay. It's a very important spot.Copy !req
428. This is the urethra.
That's where the pee comes out.Copy !req
429. Oh. I didn't know there was a second hole.Copy !req
430. There's three, if you count your anus.Copy !req
431. - I don't think I do.
- Me neither. She's an asshole.Copy !req
432. - That's a joke.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
433. She's a lovely lady, and a drummer.Copy !req
434. What else? Labia majora.Copy !req
435. - The labia minora.
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
436. And this part here is the actual vagina.Copy !req
437. Oh. Weird. Sorry, I assumed
the vagina was like, the whole thing.Copy !req
438. A lot of people do that.Copy !req
439. It's like how people call
all sparkling wine champagne,Copy !req
440. but technically champagne is from
one specific region in France.Copy !req
441. It's like, "Shut up, nerd,
we're just trying to get drunk!"Copy !req
442. - You know, you're not scary.
- Boo!Copy !req
443. - Ahh!Copy !req
444. Of course I'm not scary.
I'm you, and I'm very fun.Copy !req
445. Wink-wink.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
446. Um, I mean, yeah, I guess
I think I know what you mean.Copy !req
447. - Oh, you know what I mean.
- I have some sense of what you mean.Copy !req
448. - I'm telling you to masturbate.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
449. - All right.
- Okay, well, I'm gonna go now.Copy !req
450. - No. What? Stay forever.
- I wish I could.Copy !req
451. Aww. Don't be a stranger.Copy !req
452. - Neigh!
- Marty, what the...?Copy !req
453. I'm Gustavo the horse.Copy !req
454. - Why?
- I'm trying to romance you.Copy !req
455. Oh, of course you are.Copy !req
456. Look at you, you're Gustavo the horse.Copy !req
457. For the record, Marty, Gustavo
wasn't a man who dressed like a horse.Copy !req
458. Just get over here, all right?Copy !req
459. I threw away the scallops.Copy !req
460. Oh, you did? You threw 'em away, huh?Copy !req
461. Oh, my God, girls get horny.Copy !req
462. - And your mom's a girl.
- So my mom gets horny too.Copy !req
463. Neigh.
- Jesus Christ,Copy !req
464. look at the size of your dad's balls.Copy !req
465. Okay, and for our final book report,Copy !req
466. Nick Birch will be talking to us
about... Oh, The Rock of Gibraltar.Copy !req
467. - Nick.
- Ms. Razz, bored students,Copy !req
468. The Rock of Gibraltar is a brilliantly
told work of historical fiction.Copy !req
469. The story is beautiful
and filled with passion,Copy !req
470. but it's about so much more than just sex.Copy !req
471. In a way, it's about everything
around sex.Copy !req
472. - Does that make sense?
- It totally makes sense.Copy !req
473. See, Gustavo takes care of Fatima
without ever robbing her of her power.Copy !req
474. Mm-hm!Copy !req
475. Now, I'd like to perform
a dramatic readingCopy !req
476. of the speech Gustavo gives to Fatima
on the shores of Playa Paraíso.Copy !req
477. That is, of course,
if it's all right with the class.Copy !req
478. Do it now! Do the speech now!Copy !req
479. Fatima, I worship you.Copy !req
480. I worship your brain
for all the brilliance it holds.Copy !req
481. I worship your beauty,
for it intoxicates meCopy !req
482. and drives me passionately to you.Copy !req
483. Señorita.
- Ooh!Copy !req
484. I worship your uncompromising free spirit.Copy !req
485. Know that I will never tame you,
unless that is what you wish.Copy !req
486. This one's slippery, be careful.Copy !req
487. Know that I could never uncover
all of your mysteries,Copy !req
488. even if I spent a lifetime trying.Copy !req
489. Mm-hm. There you go. That's it, baby.Copy !req
490. - Oh. Hello.
Hey, girl, what's up?Copy !req
491. But if you know nothing else,
Fatima, know this:Copy !req
492. I want you. I want you forevermore.Copy !req
493. I want you.Copy !req
494. Okay, thanks, that's it.Copy !req
495. Thank you, Gustavo— Nick.
Thank you, Nick.Copy !req
496. Gracias.Copy !req
497. - El libro, señor.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
498. - Missy, huh?
- I guess so.Copy !req
499. I'm surprised your dad's
big ol' balls didn't show up.Copy !req
500. I hate you.Copy !req
501. Seriously, I was like, "Why is your dad
having sex with a messenger bag on?"Copy !req
502. And then I was like,
"Oh, those are his balls."Copy !req
503. I can't get 'em out of my mind.Copy !req
504. It's like, is he seeing a doctor
because there could be something wrong.Copy !req
505. It's weird, too, because they're veiny
but there's no hair.Copy !req
506. It's smooth. That's the weight, right,
pulling down the skin?Copy !req
507. I honestly wonder if he ever poops
on his own balls.Copy !req
508. He's probably got to drape 'em
outside the toilet.Copy !req
509. Maybe that's how he came up
with the illuminated toilet seat.Copy !req
510. I told some kid about that and he went
on Shark Tank and made millions.Copy !req
511. I feel like I should tell your dad,Copy !req
512. but I'm scared he'll hit me in the head
with that big pillowcase of watermelons.Copy !req
513. Ah, the boy is asleep. What a kid.Copy !req
514. What a set of nuts. Jesus Christ,
what a thing to live up to.Copy !req
515. And here's the thing with balls...Copy !req