Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis 1x9

Directed by

Steve Carell as Self

Zach sits down with Steve Carell from "The Office" and they quite possibly discuss "Dinner for Schmucks".

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1. - Exclusive.

2. - Hello, welcome to another edition

3. of Between Two Ferns.

4. I am your host, Zach Galifianakis,

5. and I'm very pleased to have one

6. of my favorite actors, Steve Carell.

7. - Yeah, it's a pleasure to meet you.

8. You know, I hear the camera adds 10 pounds.

9. Looks like you've eaten five cameras.

10. Here we go.

11. Here we go.

12. - Uh, I really love The Office,

13. and I think that you did such a great—

14. - And you love Ricky Gervais.

15. - Uh—

16. - I see where you're going.

17. I've watched your show.

18. I know what you do.

19. "Oh, I got you confused.

20. "I got you confused with the good one," right?

21. "Oh no, I didn't mean your Office.

22. "I meant the good one,"

23. and scene.

24. - Alright, listen, Steve,

25. I'm not here to,

26. I'm not gonna do the insults like I usually do.

27. - Oh, okay.

28. - I'm not gonna say your character on Despicable Me,

29. I hear that they were gonna base the nose

30. of the character on your nose,

31. but decided to go for something less cartoonish.

32. - Okay.

33. - I'm not gonna say that.

34. Let's just do a straight interview.

35. - Straight interview, okay.

36. Yeah, I'm down with that.

37. That sounds great.

38. - What is the thing that you're most proud of

39. in your career?

40. - Oh, Evan Almighty, of course—

41. - That's a good movie.

42. That's a good movie.

43. - Fuck you, fatty.

44. - Steve, I'm not—

45. - Just lead me right into that

46. and smack me across the face.

47. - It's a great movie.

48. - Okay.

49. - Regardless of all that,

50. like it lost a lot of money,

51. and all that stuff.

52. No one saw it, and the budget was way over,

53. and no one was interested in seeing it.

54. It's a great movie.

55. - Actually brought a few things

56. I'd like to say to you.

57. G-Force?

58. More like, gee, he's fat.

59. The only french word you know is buffet.

60. - That's not true.

61. I know the word croissant.

62. - I heard your last name used to be even longer,

63. but you ate all the other letters of the alphabet.

64. Zack, you look like a homeless guy

65. who's been to a soup kitchen

66. that specializes in ice cream soup.

67. What are you doing?

68. - I don't know if we should

69. air this one.

70. - I'm sorry.

71. I'm sorry.

72. - To be honest with you,

73. I do struggle with the weight thing.

74. - Okay, I'm—

75. - It's tough in Hollywood.

76. They either want you to stay overweight,

77. or they want you to lose a bunch of weight, and—

78. - You're right.

79. You're right.

80. - Now that I've got a little bit of career going,

81. the Jews want me stay at my weight,

82. and it might be unhealthy.

83. - Okay, well—

84. - And I just like, I don't know, man.

85. You just seem so lucky.

86. No one ever makes fun of the great Steve Carell.

87. Everybody just loves you, and—

88. - That's not true.

89. Well, it is true.

90. - No, there's lots of things to make fun of.

91. - Like what?

92. - I'm Italian.

93. You can make fun of that.

94. - Is Carell not your last name?

95. - Not originally.

96. - What is it, Pinocchio?

97. - Okay.

98. Okay.

99. - Like when you got to the beach

100. and someone yells, "Shark, shark,"

101. and then they just realize

102. that it's Steve Carell doing the backstroke.

103. - When you go to the beach

104. and you swim out past the buoys,

105. do people think that there's an island there?

106. - I'm not that fat, man.

107. - You are pretty—

108. - No, I'm not that fat.

109. - You're pretty fat.

110. - If you were to do like my percentage of body fat

111. versus your percentage of how much your nose weighs,

112. I guarantee that your nose per capita

113. weighs more than what I would.

114. - Alright, fuck you, fatso.

115. - Point is is I'm not that fat, okay?

116. - Okay.

117. - I'm not that fat.