Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis 1x20

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Hillary Clinton as Self

Hillary Clinton sits down with Zach Galifianakis for her most memorable interview yet.

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1. - No, I'm just saying I interviewed the President last time,

2. and now I gotta, you know,

3. go back to interviewing dumb actors.

4. That's all I'm saying.

5. No, it's fine.

6. It's fine, he's a big star.

7. Hi.

8. Welcome to another edition of "Between Two Ferns."

9. I'm your host, Zach Galifianakis.

10. My guest today, Bradley Pitts.

11. Bradley Pitts, thanks for joining me.

12. - It's my pleasure.

13. - How old were you when you lost your virginity?

14. Zero?

15. I'll tell you about when I lost my virginity.

16. - I would really not like to hear that.

17. - Showers.

18. - Hmmm.

19. - Why don't you take them?

20. You play a lot of people that are Nazi haters,

21. which is weird to me.

22. - Why do you say that?

23. - Because you look like Hitler's dream.

24. - Huh.

25. Yes, I understand the conundrum of it all.

26. - Naked pictures of you

27. were in Playgirl magazine many years ago,

28. and I only know that because my dad

29. got a subscription for me

30. after I graduated from junior high school, and ...

31. Anyway, tell us about this movie, "Furry."

32. - It's "Fury."

33. - "Fury."

34. It's not "Furry?"

35. No.

36. - When does that come out

37. on DVD?

38. I got you a gift and it's ...

39. Do we have the gift?

40. Oh, it's right behind the fern there.

41. - Jeez, I wonder what that is?

42. - It's a bassoon.

43. - I thought it was a bowling ball.

44. You know I'm a —

45. Thank you.

46. You know I'm a dad now.

47. - That's a bassoon.

48. You can play them for your kids.

49. - Yeah we don't bassoon in my house anymore.

50. - This is off topic just a bit,

51. but do you mind if I borrow one or two of your sperms?

52. - No, I think that would be inappropriate.

53. - Okay, it's just written down here.

54. I have to ask.

55. - I understand.

56. - After a big meal on Thanksgiving,

57. do you ever unbutton your pants

58. and just sit back and go, "Oh boy."

59. - Don't recall doing that.

60. - You do a lot of charity work,

61. and I think that it's a really great thing you do,

62. and I was wondering if you could maybe tell us

63. about some of your charity work,

64. because I also am involved in a lot of charity work myself.

65. - Like what?

66. - I work with this one group called

67. Doctors without Diplomas.

68. Brad, tell us about your charity work.

69. - Yeah, it's something I'm very proud of.

70. It's called the Make It Right Organization.

71. We started building in the lower ninth

72. after Hurricane Katrina.

73. - Hold on one second, I have to liven this up.

74. Ladies and gentlemen, Louie C. K.

75. doing stand up.

76. Hey, how's it going everybody?

77. Great to be here

78. in New York

79. in this crazy town.

80. There was a couple of rats on the subway,

81. and I thought they were either Ebola or ISIS.

82. I was like, "Get out of here, you rats."

83. - Thank you.

84. He looks like the reverse Benjamin Buttons, doesn't he,

85. because he gets older and fatter.

86. I'm playing you off. - Who are you talking to?

87. - I was talking to my good friend, and then about you,

88. but he was in Benjamin Buttons.

89. He was in it.

90. That's why I said it.

91. He's in that movie. - That guy?

92. - Yeah. - Who'd you play

93. in Benjamin Buttons?

94. - He's Benjamin Bottoms ...

95. Buttons.

96. That's the guy.

97. You can't recognize him,

98. because of the makeup stuff.

99. - Yeah, I was in makeup.

100. - I don't care.

101. - Okay.

102. - When you and Clooney

103. get dressed up in your tuxes together,

104. do you ever look at each other and go,

105. "Aren't we a couple of dapper Dans?"

106. - Never happened to my recollection.

107. - Is it hard for you to maintain a suntan?

108. - Why?

109. - Because you life in your wife's shadow.

110. Because I too,

111. I had a romantic fling with someone that was —

112. - Sorry.

113. - In a romantic fling that was —

114. - Wow, that was my last piece.

115. - Public and it got on my nerves,

116. and because she outshone —

117. - That was my last piece.

118. - I had the same thing with Condi Rice.

119. - Awesome.

120. Oh really?

121. - Tell me what it was like

122. the first time that you laid eyes on Angelina.

123. Was it one of those classical love stories,

124. like when Ross first saw Rachel?

125. You know that show "Friends?"

126. Have you seen it?

127. - I like that song.

128. - Do you think people focus maybe too much on your looks,

129. and don't even realize that you're just a shitty actor?

130. - Next question.