Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis 1x19

Directed by

Brad Pitt as Self • Louis C.K. as Self

Brad Pitt sits down with Zach Galifianakis for his second most memorable interview yet.

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1. - Sorry I had to cancel a few times.

2. My mouse pad broke last week,

3. and I had to get my great aunt some diabetes shoes,

4. and, uh—

5. - You know what, Zack, it's no problem.

6. I mean, I have to say, when I heard that, like,

7. people actually watch this show,

8. I was actually pretty surprised.

9. - Shh, shh.

10. Hi, welcome to another addition of Between Two Ferns.

11. I am your host, Zack Galifianakis,

12. and my guest today is,

13. uh, Barack Oba...

14. President Barack Obama.

15. - Good to be with you, Zack.

16. - First question.

17. In 2013, you pardoned a turkey.

18. What do you have planned for 2014?

19. - We'll probably pardon another turkey.

20. We do that every Thanksgiving.

21. Was that depressing to you,

22. seeing one turkey kind of taken out of circulation,

23. a turkey you couldn't eat?

24. - How does this work?

25. Do you send Ambassador Rodman to North Korea on your behalf?

26. I had read somewhere that you'd be

27. sending Hulk Hogan to Syria,

28. or is that more of a job for Tanya Harding?

29. - Zack, he's not our Ambassador.

30. - What should we do about North IKEA?

31. Kor, North.

32. - Why don't we move on?

33. - I have to know, what is it like

34. to be the last black President?

35. - Seriously?

36. What's it like for this to be the

37. last time you ever talk to a President?

38. - It must kind of stink, though, that you can't run,

39. you know, three times.

40. You know?

41. - Actually, I think it's a good idea.

42. You know, if I ran a third time, it would be sort of like

43. doing a third hangover movie.

44. It didn't really work out very well, did it?

45. Now, I have to say, that I've seen this show before,

46. and some of the episodes have probably been

47. a little bit better than this.

48. For example, the one with Bradley Cooper,

49. that was a great show.

50. - Bradley Cooper? Everybody loves.

51. - He kind of carried that movie, didn't he?

52. - Which, which film are you speaking of?

53. - Uh, those hangover movies.

54. Basically, he carried them.

55. - Yeah, everybody loves Bradley.

56. Good for him.

57. - Good looking guy.

58. - Being like that in Hollywood, that's easy.

59. Tall, handsome, that's easy.

60. Be short, fat, and smell like Doritos

61. and try to make it in Hollywood.

62. - Is it gonna be hard in two years

63. when you're no longer President,

64. and people will stop letting you win at basketball?

65. - How does it feel having the 3 inch vertical?

66. - It's a 3 inch horizontal, so

67. - Where are you planning on building a Presidential library,

68. in Hawaii or in your home country of Kenya?

69. Because both places seem like they would be—

70. - Zack, that's a ridiculous question.

71. - Well, you know, I mean,

72. not to bring up the birth certificate thing,

73. but you really did really produce your real one.

74. - Where's your birth certificate?

75. Why don't you show it to us right now?

76. - I don't want to show anybody my birth certificate

77. cause it's embarrassing.

78. - What's embarrassing about it?

79. - My weight on it.

80. It says that I was born seven pounds, eight hundred ounces.

81. You know what I would do if I were President,

82. Mr. President?

83. I would make same sex divorce illegal,

84. then see how bad they want it.

85. - I think that's why you're not President,

86. and that's a good thing.

87. - You said if you had a son,

88. you would not let him play football.

89. What makes you think that he would want to play football?

90. What if he was a nerd like you?

91. - Do you think a woman like Michelle would marry a nerd?

92. Why don't you ask her whether she thinks I'm a nerd.

93. - Could I?

94. - No, I'm not gonna let her near you.

95. - Do you go to any websites that are

96. .com's, or.net's,

97. or do you mainly just stick with.gov's?

98. - No, actually we go to.gov's.

99. Have you hear of healthcare.gov?

100. - Here we go.

101. Okay, let's get this out of the way.

102. What did you come here to plug?

103. - Well, first of all, I think it's fair to say

104. that I wouldn't be with you here today

105. if I didn't have something to plug.

106. Have you heard of the Affordable Care Act?

107. - Oh, yeah, I heard about that.

108. That's the thing that doesn't work.

109. Why would you get the guy that created the Zune

110. to make your website?

111. and millions of Americans have already gotten

112. health insurance plans.

113. What we want is for people to know

114. that you can get Affordable Healthcare.

115. Most young Americans, right now,

116. they're not covered.

117. The truth is, is that they can get coverage,

118. all for what it costs you

119. to pay your cellphone bill.

120. - Is this what they mean by drones?

121. - The point is that a lot of young people,

122. they think they're invincible.

123. - Did you say invisible, because, uh—

124. - No, no.

125. - I just think, like, that's improbable.

126. - Not invisible.

127. Invincible.

128. Meaning that they don't think they can get hurt.

129. - I'm just saying that nobody could be invisible,

130. if you had said invisible.

131. - I understand that.

132. If they get that health insurance

133. it can really make a bit difference.

134. They've got till March 31st to sign up.

135. - I don't have a computer,

136. so how does—

137. - Well, then you can call 1-800-318-2596.

138. - I don't have a phone.

139. I'm off the grid.

140. I don't want you people,

141. like, looking at my texts,

142. if you know what I mean.

143. - First of all, Zack, nobody's interested in your texts.

144. Second of all, you can do it in person.

145. The law means that insurers can't discriminate against you

146. if you've got a pre-existing condition anymore.

147. - Yeah, but what about,

148. what about this, though.

149. - That's disgusting.

150. How long have you had that?

151. - Oh, just four months.

152. - Really?

153. - Spider bites.

154. I got attacked by spiders.

155. - Zack, you need to get that checked right away.

156. that's one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

157. - Is your plug finally over?

158. - Uh.

159. I suppose so.

160. - Which country were you rooting for

161. in the Winter Olympics?

162. - Seriously?

163. I'm the President of the United States.

164. What do you think, Zack?

165. - I want to thank, um,

166. President Obama for, uh, being on the show.

167. - I'm gonna press this.

168. - Uh, don't touch that please.

169. - Thanks for the interview,

170. and, um,

171. thanks for letting me shoot my show here all these years.

172. - You've been shooting these shows

173. here in the Diplomatic Room?

174. Who gave you permission to do that?

175. - Bush.

176. - Seriously?

177. Who gave him clearance?

178. - Watch the spider bite.

179. - That's the other hand.

180. - Oh, it's everywhere.