Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis 1x11

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Zach sits down with Bruce Willis; one of the stars of the new movie Red, to talk about the 80s and some of the prestigious awards he has been awarded.

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1. - Bruce, you can't smoke in here.

2. You can't smoke in here, give me this.

3. You can't smoke.

4. Thank you.

5. Hello and welcome to another edition

6. of Between Two Ferns.

7. My name is Zach Galifianakis and

8. my guest today is Bruce Willis,

9. movie star and harmonicist.

10. What was that, a wasp?

11. Are there wasps in here?

12. Sorry.

13. So, how many children do you have?

14. - Three.

15. - Three.

16. Which is your favorite, Ashton?

17. Do you, do you get his Tweets?

18. Like you call him and go, hey I got your Tweets.

19. Pretty good Tweeting today.

20. When you were making The Whole Ten Yards,

21. were you ever worried that it would be too good?

22. I'll just, I'll just keep moving.

23. Did you know that some actors turn down roles?

24. Any plans to reboot The Grumpy Old Men franchise?

25. Bruce, I'm going to need you to loosen up a little bit.

26. This is hard for me, I'm very, I'm intimated,

27. and you don't seem to be answering the questions.

28. - Have we started?

29. We're not doing it right now, right?

30. - No, no, no we've been doing it for about four minutes.

31. - What are you talking about?

32. - What are you talking about, Willis?

33. You ever heard that before?

34. - No, it's a little easy, I got to tell you.

35. - Look who's talking.

36. Product placement.

37. Under the arm pits?

38. Sorry.

39. Let's talk about,

40. where do you, where do you keep your Oscar,

41. your Oscar trophy,

42. I mean your Blockbuster Entertainment Award?

43. Where do you keep that?

44. - It's a great award.

45. I look at it everyday and it reminds me of what used to be.

46. How much fun it used to be.

47. - Yeah, I mean those were the good old days,

48. - The 80s,

49. 80s, man you could get away with anything.

50. - Yeah.

51. - Women were much cleaner.

52. Much cleaner then.

53. Patent leather shoes and women's toe nails,

54. clicking on the pavement,

55. as you go by Anthropologie,

56. and you don't want to buy some candles,

57. and it just all of the sudden you're going,

58. I can't get the candles today Bredonna.

59. - Bruce.

60. What's wrong, I mean?

61. - You'll see, it's all parties,

62. getting blown up and down Hollywood Boulevard, my friend.

63. And then the phone stops ringing,

64. okay and you're going to get to that fucking point,

65. and you're going go,

66. now I get it, now I understand.

67. And then you're sitting in a room,

68. and it's just you and all your cousins.

69. - What is that, is it a wasp?

70. - Don't move. - Where are you going?

71. It's not a wasp, it's not a wasp!

72. Ashton should Tweet this.