Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis 1x10

Directed by

Sean Penn as Self

Sean Penn sits down with Zach's twin brother, Seth Galifianakis.

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1. - Exclusive.

2. Hello my name is Seth Galifianakis.

3. I'm filling in for my brother Zach because

4. he couldn't be here today, he's at adult fat camp.

5. My guest is a famous actor, humanitarian,

6. please welcome Sean Penn.

7. Thank you Sean for being on the show.

8. - You're very welcome.

9. - Zach wrote something here, I don't understand,

10. he said, you have a twin brother and

11. he wanted me to say how's your brother ballpoint.

12. - Mmm.

13. - Oh, that's funny, it's like the guy's first name

14. is ballpoint and because your last name is Penn.

15. I bet you get that a lot when people like

16. "Hey it would be funny if your name was felt,"

17. or uh, like felt pen.

18. Is your first name Sylvania?

19. - Yep.

20. - Usually I don't think my brother's that much funny

21. but I gotta give him some credit for that one.

22. That's a pretty good spoof.

23. - Hm.

24. - Who is the true movie star of our time right now?

25. - You know I guess the one who sort of has it all—

26. - Ryan Reynolds.

27. - Jack Nicholson, who?

28. - Ryan Reynolds.

29. - Ryan Reynolds is uh—

30. - Van Wilder.

31. - I saw him in something.

32. - Jack Nicholson, he's that crazy guy that sits

33. at the Lakers games?

34. You hang out with him?

35. - Sometimes.

36. - Where do you guys like to eat?

37. Ya'll go to Long John Silver's

38. and somethin' fancy like that?

39. - It would be fun if maybe you and I and

40. Jack Nicholas went to dinner and stuff

41. and I can tell him some of my movie ideas.

42. - Mmhm.

43. - I have a pug and my pug his name is Funions.

44. I've made this captains hat for him

45. and I put it right on his head and he's crazy looking,

46. he's like, that guy needs to, Funions needs to be

47. in the movies, he's got a captains hat on him.

48. You know, you just take the dog, you put him in a movie

49. and you know he'd be like a taxi driver

50. or something like that and people'd be like

51. "Why is there a pug with a captains hat

52. being a taxi driver in New York City?"

53. - Might have something there.

54. - I'll tell you something right now,

55. I know you're playing with me.

56. - No I'm trying, to be honest I was just trying to protect

57. because I know—

58. - Let me tell you something this country boy right here—

59. - It's a southern kind of, it's invasive—

60. - Is not really intimidated. I'll follow you home tonight.

61. - I'll knock you to fuck out right in your chair.

62. - Real interested in the work you've been doing

63. down in Haiti and tell us a little about that?

64. - Well I—

65. - Is there a Six Flags down there?

66. - There's not, no.

67. - We can move on.

68. Oh, I forgot, this segment is brought to you by

69. Mennen, Speed Stick by Mennen.

70. You put it under your arms,

71. it makes you feel real good at night

72. and during the day and you just kinda have this fresh start

73. much like America is doing.

74. Oscar night must be so much fun,

75. you must love, that's the whole reason is

76. to get into acting is so you can get all dolled up

77. and go out on the red carpet and get to talk to people

78. and people wanting to know all about your life and stuff.

79. - I think you can get tired very fast of

80. hearing about yourself and talking about yourself.

81. - Really?

82. I don't think, I mean, one time,

83. this guy was like, "I want to interview

84. for the local paper" and I was like

85. "What" and he was like "What"

86. and I'm like "What?"

87. He was interviewing me because my mailbox

88. got knocked down in my home town

89. But I was like "what?" And he was like,

90. let's do a story on it.

91. I loved that the guy came on and he talked

92. to me about my story and my life and I didn't

93. get tired of it at all, I really didn't.