1. He's really...
It's really messed up.Copy !req
2. Aah!
Watch the
door, okay?Copy !req
3. Hey, hello.
Habla English?Copy !req
4. Hey, are you
the son?
Ow!Copy !req
5. Grandson.Copy !req
6. She hit...
Hit him while driving.Copy !req
7. My leg.
El smack-o.Copy !req
8. Look. Look.Copy !req
9. Just a crazy old biznatch
who ran over my brother.Copy !req
10. It hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad.Copy !req
11. (GRUNTS)
It hurts so bad.Copy !req
12. Look at that.
Yeah, it's this one.Copy !req
13. My leg.
She... She broke
his leg.Copy !req
14. And then she stood on the gas.
It's a hit-and-run.Copy !req
15. She... She felonied me.
That's a felony.
Got the whole thing...Copy !req
16. Got the whole
thing right here.Copy !req
17. Ay, dios mio.
Okay, hold on. Hold on.Copy !req
18. Let me talk to her.Copy !req
19. So, start talking.
Yeah, good.Copy !req
20. Aah!
Look. He can't...Copy !req
21. He can't put
any pressure on it.Copy !req
22. I need to lean on you,
so...Copy !req
23. I think it's...
It's definitely broken.Copy !req
24. Es muy mal
for my leg-o.Copy !req
25. Here. Lean up.
Lean up on the mantel.Copy !req
26. No, man,
it really hurts.Copy !req
27. Just hang in there.
Hang in there.Copy !req
28. "Muy mal"?
Yeah, it's muy mal.Copy !req
29. Dude.Copy !req
30. Dude.Copy !req
31. Yes, si, problema.Copy !req
32. Shh, shh, shh!
And now dos problemas.Copy !req
33. Aah!
Dude!Copy !req
34. (SPEAKING SPANISH)
Si, d-dos
big problemas.Copy !req
35. I don't know
what you're saying, man.Copy !req
36. Dude.
Si.Copy !req
37. Dude.
Si.Copy !req
38. We got a real problem
here. Si.Copy !req
39. Yeah, si, problema.
Shh.Copy !req
40. Ay, dios mio.
Ay, dios mio.Copy !req
41. Hey, amigo, what are you gonna
do about this leg situation?Copy !req
42. I really need
to see a doctor.Copy !req
43. A doctor.
Doctors ain't cheap, yo.
It's gonna cost.Copy !req
44. Either you or her.
Somebody's got to pay.Copy !req
45. You want money.Copy !req
46. Yes!
Yeah, damn straight.Copy !req
47. Hit-and-run?
It's no joke. We're...Copy !req
48. What are the cops
gonna say?Copy !req
49. Cops?
(TV CHATTER IN DISTANCE)Copy !req
50. They coming?Copy !req
51. Y-yeah, yeah, maybe.
That's up to you, man.Copy !req
52. They... The cops...
They can be lookingCopy !req
53. at this tape
anytime now.
It's all up to you.Copy !req
54. (INHALES SHARPLY)
Aah!Copy !req
55. Oh,
that's really bad.Copy !req
56. You c-called her
"biznatch"?Copy !req
57. I didn't...
Yeah, but whatever, man.Copy !req
58. Please, hurry it up.
I'm hurting here.Copy !req
59. Show us the green,
or la policia
is gonna come,Copy !req
60. and they're gonna be
taking granny away!Copy !req
61. She's gonna go to jail.
Do you want that?Copy !req
62. Yeah, that's right.
Play it smart. Okay, good.Copy !req
63. So,
let's talk dollar amounts.
For what you did to my...Copy !req
64. No! No!Copy !req
65. Biznatch.Copy !req
66. Mijo?Copy !req
67. Mijo?Copy !req
68. Mijo...Copy !req
69. Ah, si.Copy !req
70. Ay, mijo.Copy !req
71. A-abuelita.Copy !req
72. Oh.Copy !req
73. Bueno.Copy !req
74. Si. Si.Copy !req
75. Si. Si.Copy !req
76. Si.Copy !req
77. Hi. Get over here.Copy !req
78. Uh, my abuelita's.Copy !req
79. Bring No-doze and tell
Nacho to bring his van.Copy !req
80. Open up!
Officer of the court!Copy !req
81. Open up
in the name of the law!Copy !req
82. Good afternoon.
This...Copy !req
83. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm showing hands.Copy !req
84. I'm... I'm relaxed... Okay?
Um, non-threatening.Copy !req
85. You move,
and you're dead.Copy !req
86. Got it.Copy !req
87. Seems to be
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
88. Is there, by any chance,
a Betsy Kettleman here?Copy !req
89. See, I'm not sure
if this is a situationCopy !req
90. where I should
or should not
look you in the eye.Copy !req
91. (SIGHS) Sit.Copy !req
92. Who are you?Copy !req
93. Are you with those
redheaded scumbags?Copy !req
94. My name's James McGill.
I'm an attorney.Copy !req
95. Uh, I got a call
from some clients, uh,Copy !req
96. said something
about an accident.Copy !req
97. I did not
get any details.Copy !req
98. When I saw some skateboards
in your front yard,Copy !req
99. I assumed they might...
(DOOR OPENS)Copy !req
100. Mijo...Copy !req
101. Si, si.Copy !req
102. Talk.Copy !req
103. I'm gonna make an educated
guess what happened here.Copy !req
104. My two clients,
frick and frack, the mopheads,Copy !req
105. were in a simple
traffic accident,Copy !req
106. a minor fender bender,Copy !req
107. but maybe they were on
the wrong side of the street,Copy !req
108. or they didn't look
both ways.Copy !req
109. It could happen to anyone.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
110. My clients, exhibiting
extremely poor judgment,Copy !req
111. uh, followed
your grandmotherCopy !req
112. to this delightful,
well-tended home.Copy !req
113. Now, at this juncture,
I'm deducingCopy !req
114. that they said
or did something that...Copy !req
115. Crossed a line, and you,
with some justification...Copy !req
116. You put them
in their place.Copy !req
117. Based on the
salsa stain there,Copy !req
118. could have gone a couple ways.Copy !req
119. The bottom line.
Not to be morbid,Copy !req
120. but if they're dead, um,
I'm guessing that I'm...Copy !req
121. I'm gonna... I'm gonna...Copy !req
122. Yeah, I'm gonna go
with glass half full hereCopy !req
123. and say they're not.Copy !req
124. Uh, my point is, if they're
still alive, why kill us? Why?Copy !req
125. Because of a misunderstanding?
Our own stupidity?Copy !req
126. Why mess up your lovely
abuelita's place?Copy !req
127. (CHUCKLES) Why jump
to the nuclear option?Copy !req
128. See, I'm saying
keep it simple.Copy !req
129. I will collect
my moronic clients, and...Copy !req
130. Poof! We are gone.Copy !req
131. Neither you
nor your lovely abuelitaCopy !req
132. will ever lay eyes on us
ever again, guaranteed.Copy !req
133. Signed, sealed,
and delivered.Copy !req
134. Assuming, you know,
that they're still breathing.Copy !req
135. Wow.Copy !req
136. You got a mouth
on you.Copy !req
137. Thank you.Copy !req
138. Get up.Copy !req
139. That way.Copy !req
140. That way.
Y-yeah, sure. Why not?Copy !req
141. So, what?
I should cut 'em loose?Copy !req
142. Oh!Copy !req
143. It was him!
It was all his idea!Copy !req
144. No, no, no!
You shut up!Copy !req
145. Say what?Copy !req
146. He...
He wanted to scam you.Copy !req
147. He said we could clear
2 grand, easy.Copy !req
148. You punking me?Copy !req
149. Are you punking
my abuelita?Copy !req
150. He hit his head.
He doesn't know
what he's saying.Copy !req
151. For what?Copy !req
152. For what are you
getting 2 grand?Copy !req
153. It was for going
after your grandma,Copy !req
154. just for taking
a header over her car
and then b-bracing her.Copy !req
155. It was him, I swear!
It was the lawyer!Copy !req
156. Who are you?
Why are you after me?Copy !req
157. I can explain. It's...
You're gonna laugh.Copy !req
158. It's so... I'm a lawyer.
I... Check my I.D., okay?Copy !req
159. But I was
running a scam.Copy !req
160. On my abuelita?
No, no!Copy !req
161. Not on your abuelita,
not on you.Copy !req
162. There's a woman
named Betsy Kettleman.
I mentioned her.Copy !req
163. She's married to
Craig Kettleman.Copy !req
164. He's the treasurer
of Bernalillo county.Copy !req
165. I wanted his business
'cause...Copy !req
166. He stole a million and
a half bucks from the county.Copy !req
167. He's gonna be indicted
for embezzlement any day now.Copy !req
168. This is a good case for me.Copy !req
169. A lot of publicity.
I'll get my name out, and...Copy !req
170. Anyway, I thought
if I had these twoCopy !req
171. run their little skateboard
hustle on Mrs. Kettleman,Copy !req
172. I could, you know,
rescue her.Copy !req
173. Come in, throw some
oil on troubled waters,Copy !req
174. and, yeah,
I'd get their business.Copy !req
175. That was the plan.Copy !req
176. But it turns out
your lovely abuelita...Copy !req
177. She drives a car...
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
178. that's a whole lot
like the kettle-mobile.Copy !req
179. So, these two geniuses
ran their little stunt
on the wrong one.Copy !req
180. So, joke's on me.
Ha ha!Copy !req
181. I...
Simple as that.Copy !req
182. Where's he going?Copy !req
183. Talk to me, okay?Copy !req
184. Who do you think I am?
What is he getting?Copy !req
185. I was running a scam
to get a client.Copy !req
186. I made a mistake.
That's all this is.Copy !req
187. Oh, geez.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)Copy !req
188. Y-you don't need...Copy !req
189. That's not...
I'll talk, okay?Copy !req
190. Tell me what
you want to know!Copy !req
191. Who do...
Who do you think I am?Copy !req
192. Hey, use your words,
okay?Copy !req
193. What?
(SNIFFS)Copy !req
194. You know
what I smell?Copy !req
195. I smell lies.Copy !req
196. I smell pork.Copy !req
197. No,
that's not necessary.Copy !req
198. Okay, we know
you're with the heat.
The question is, who?Copy !req
199. Local? FBI?
No, no, no.Copy !req
200. D.E.A?
No, I'm a lawyer.Copy !req
201. Just reach in my pocket
right now! Right there!Copy !req
202. Truth.Copy !req
203. (GRUNTS)
That is the truth!Copy !req
204. I'm a lawyer! Guys, I passed
the bar! Ask me anything!Copy !req
205. Not contract law, okay?Copy !req
206. I'm down at
the courts every day!Copy !req
207. People know me!Copy !req
208. I'm a known quantity.
I am!Copy !req
209. Aah!Copy !req
210. I'm...Copy !req
211. I'm special agent
Jeffrey Steele, FBI.Copy !req
212. FBI?
FBI.Copy !req
213. I'm undercover, okay?
You got me.Copy !req
214. I'm the tip
of the spear,Copy !req
215. and releasing me
would be the smart move.Copy !req
216. You hear that shit?Copy !req
217. I told you the business
was too good.Copy !req
218. I knew it.
I told you.Copy !req
219. Can I?Copy !req
220. Okay, uh, Special Agent,
uh, Steele?Copy !req
221. Jeffrey A. Steele.Copy !req
222. Okay, Agent Steele,
what business are we in?Copy !req
223. Business?
You're investigating
us, right?Copy !req
224. For what?
What did we do?Copy !req
225. What do we sell?
Drugs.Copy !req
226. What kind of drugs?
Uh...Copy !req
227. It's title 21,Copy !req
228. schedule II
through schedule V,
including part B.Copy !req
229. That's what we call
them down
at the bureau. It's...Copy !req
230. The task force
is designated
"operation king breaker."Copy !req
231. "King breaker"?
So...Copy !req
232. That makes me
the king! Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
233. Can I?Copy !req
234. All right.Copy !req
235. The next words out of your
mouth got to be the truth.Copy !req
236. You understand?Copy !req
237. Uh-huh.Copy !req
238. Who are you?Copy !req
239. I'm James Morgan McGill.
I'm a lawyer.Copy !req
240. I was trolling for business,
okay? That's the truth.Copy !req
241. Now, you find a bible,
I'll swear on it.Copy !req
242. Okay, what about,
uh, operation, uh,
king breaker, FBI?Copy !req
243. I made it up, okay?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
244. I don't know you.
I don't want to.Copy !req
245. Uh, this was a mistake, okay.
It's my mistake, okay?Copy !req
246. I take full and complete
responsibility,Copy !req
247. but I don't know
any of your names,Copy !req
248. and I got a bad case
of face-blindness.Copy !req
249. You let us go, we're gonna
forget this happened.Copy !req
250. Guys,
we're gonna forget, right?Copy !req
251. Nod your heads.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)Copy !req
252. Okay?Copy !req
253. So, if you just
let us go and just...Copy !req
254. We want to just go...
Home.Copy !req
255. I say cut 'em loose.Copy !req
256. He said he was FBI.
He admitted it.Copy !req
257. You had your
wire cutters on him.Copy !req
258. He would have
said anything.Copy !req
259. You really see
the FBI hiring
those two flaquitos?Copy !req
260. Maybe.Copy !req
261. Croaking a lawyer
for no reason
is bad business.Copy !req
262. He goes away, someone's
gonna come look for him.Copy !req
263. They walked
into my house.Copy !req
264. They disrespected
my abuelita.Copy !req
265. They call her
"biznatch"!Copy !req
266. (MUFFLED GRUNTING)
And they just walk?Copy !req
267. Uh-uh!Copy !req
268. What about the lawyer?Copy !req
269. He's giving respect.Copy !req
270. Okay.Copy !req
271. "James M. McGill...Copy !req
272. "A lawyer
you can trust."Copy !req
273. I know how to find you,
James McGill.Copy !req
274. Understand
what I'm saying?Copy !req
275. Yeah.Copy !req
276. Up.Copy !req
277. Okay?Copy !req
278. Take him
back to his car.Copy !req
279. Thank you.Copy !req
280. Uh, uh, this is...
This is good.Copy !req
281. This... This is right.
Thank you.
Come on.Copy !req
282. What... What...
What about them?Copy !req
283. Come on.
Yeah, right.Copy !req
284. Come on.
Uh, yeah, right.Copy !req
285. Whoa. Uh...
Yo, where you going?Copy !req
286. Uh, wait. Can I...
Can I say something?Copy !req
287. Where you going?
Can you let them go?Copy !req
288. Just let them go.
Are you stupid?Copy !req
289. They don't deserve to die.
I put them up to it.Copy !req
290. I don't deserve to die,
but they don't, either.Copy !req
291. I'm gonna skin them,
like javelinas!Copy !req
292. Forget about them!
They're insects!Copy !req
293. They're...
Hey, think about their mother.Copy !req
294. (SPITS)
I spit on their mama!Copy !req
295. She is a sweet little lady.
She... She's a widow.Copy !req
296. She works hard all day,
every day,Copy !req
297. just like her mother before
her, from dawn till dusk,Copy !req
298. scrubbing the floors
of rich people.Copy !req
299. She needs a cane to walk,
you know?Copy !req
300. She's got arthritis.
And still,
she works every day.Copy !req
301. What? For herself?
No. No.Copy !req
302. For them...
For these two, her boys,
her apples of her eye.Copy !req
303. You say
they don't deserve her?Copy !req
304. Maybe so,
but they're all she's got.Copy !req
305. Now... you turn them
inside out,Copy !req
306. I want you to think
about what happens to her.Copy !req
307. No, that's on them.Copy !req
308. They should have
thought about that.Copy !req
309. When I was at
your abuelita's place,Copy !req
310. you were gonna
let them go.Copy !req
311. Way I see it, that's because
you're tough, but you're fair.Copy !req
312. You're all
about justice.Copy !req
313. That's what I'm saying...
Justice.Copy !req
314. These...
These two shit-for-brains?
These big-mouths?Copy !req
315. You... You already beat
the living hell out of them.Copy !req
316. Do you think they're ever
gonna forget today?Copy !req
317. Never...
10 years from now,Copy !req
318. they're still gonna
be crapping their Jockeys.Copy !req
319. It's not enough.Copy !req
320. Okay, okay.Copy !req
321. Then let's
talk proportionality.Copy !req
322. They're guilty.Copy !req
323. Oh, agreed.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)Copy !req
324. Now you have to decide,
what's the right sentence?Copy !req
325. Like a judge?Copy !req
326. Like a judge.Copy !req
327. Ever hear of the code
of Hammurabi.Copy !req
328. Let the punishment fit
the crime, eye for an eye?Copy !req
329. Eye for an eye.Copy !req
330. You want me
to blind them.Copy !req
331. (MUFFLED GRUNTING)
No, no.Copy !req
332. All they did
was trash-talk.Copy !req
333. So I cut their tongues out!Copy !req
334. Wait.
See, I'm advising...Copy !req
335. That you make
the punishment fit the crime.Copy !req
336. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
Punishment fit the crime.Copy !req
337. Columbian neckties.Copy !req
338. I cut their throats,
and then I pull their lying
tongues through the slits!Copy !req
339. (MUFFLED SCREAMING)
"Biznatch"!Copy !req
340. Or you... You could
give them black eyes.Copy !req
341. Black eyes? (LAUGHS)Copy !req
342. That ain't nothing.Copy !req
343. NO-
that one there, homes...Copy !req
344. He already got
a black eye, fool.Copy !req
345. Stop helping.Copy !req
346. Or you could
sprain their ankles.Copy !req
347. Sprain?
They're...
They're skateboarders, right?Copy !req
348. That... That's how
they run their scam.Copy !req
349. (SCOFFS)
They can't skate.Copy !req
350. You... You hit them
where they live.Copy !req
351. I ain't spraining
nothing, bitch.Copy !req
352. I'm gonna break
their arms,Copy !req
353. and I'm gonna
break their legs.Copy !req
354. Arms? When... When...
When did we get on to arms?Copy !req
355. Let's...
I'm cutting their legs off.Copy !req
356. But...
We could go that way, but...Copy !req
357. We were talking
about breaking.Copy !req
358. I think we're heading
in the wrong direction.Copy !req
359. Okay.Copy !req
360. Break their legs.Copy !req
361. How many legs?Copy !req
362. Two...
They got two legs.Copy !req
363. One leg. Each.Copy !req
364. One leg. Each?Copy !req
365. They're... (SIGHS)Copy !req
366. One leg each,
that's a total
of two legs.Copy !req
367. Uh, hey, look.
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)Copy !req
368. They can't skateboard
for six months,Copy !req
369. and they're
scared of you forever.Copy !req
370. You show everybody
that you are the man,Copy !req
371. but that you're fair,
that you're just.Copy !req
372. One leg each.Copy !req
373. That's tough,
but it's fair.Copy !req
374. All right, lay 'em out!
I ain't got all day!Copy !req
375. It's hotter than
shit out here!Copy !req
376. Quit moving! You're only
gonna make it worse!Copy !req
377. We're sorry!
We're sorry!Copy !req
378. (LAUGHS) Lookit!Copy !req
379. Hell, yeah!
Hell, yeah!Copy !req
380. He said he had a broke leg.
Now he's got one for real!Copy !req
381. You... Tell your mama
you're sorry, bitch!Copy !req
382. Other one.Copy !req
383. Look! It's backwards.
(LAUGHS)Copy !req
384. Check it out.Copy !req
385. I'm gonna do this one
real clean.Copy !req
386. No! Oh, my god! No!Copy !req
387. (BONE CRACKS)
(LAUGHS) Whoo!Copy !req
388. Shut up! Shut up!Copy !req
389. Here you go. Here you go.
Easy, easy.Copy !req
390. You... You...
You... Aah! Aah!
Save your breath.Copy !req
391. You... You are...
You are the worst lawyer,Copy !req
392. the worst lawyer ever!Copy !req
393. Hey, I just talked you down
from a death sentence...Copy !req
394. Oh, my god! Oh, my!
to six months' probation.Copy !req
395. I'm the best lawyer ever.Copy !req
396. Dude, dude, dude, oh!
Oh, my god! Oh! No!Copy !req
397. (SCATTING)
♪ Cha-cha-chaCopy !req
398. (LOUD CRACK)
♪ Do-do-do, do-doCopy !req
399. (LOUD CRACK)
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-doCopy !req
400. Could you, uh...Copy !req
401. Could you, um...
I'll be right back.Copy !req
402. (DOOR CLOSES)
Ground yourself?Copy !req
403. Jimmy,
did you ground yourself?Copy !req
404. (SIGHS) Oh.Copy !req
405. I don't think
you grounded yourself.Copy !req
406. Jesus.Copy !req
407. Jimmy, you didn't drive
like this, did you?Copy !req
408. Oh, no.Copy !req
409. No. I knew it.Copy !req
410. (GRUNTS) Oh.Copy !req
411. Ah. Oh.Copy !req
412. Aah.Copy !req
413. Chuck.Copy !req
414. Coffee?Copy !req
415. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
416. You're gonna have
to take it black.Copy !req
417. We're out of milk?Copy !req
418. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
419. Why are you in
that space blanket?Copy !req
420. You brought
your cellphone
in here last night.Copy !req
421. It was
in your pants pocket.Copy !req
422. Oh.Copy !req
423. Sorry about that.
(SIGHS)Copy !req
424. Where, uh...
Where is it?Copy !req
425. Outside.
I threw it out the door.Copy !req
426. Yeah.Copy !req
427. How did I get here?Copy !req
428. Your car's not outside,
so I'm assuming taxi.Copy !req
429. (SIGHS) Right.Copy !req
430. Uh, the bartender...
Wouldn't let me drive.Copy !req
431. (SIGHS) Why are you
in that space blanket?Copy !req
432. I told you, you brought your
cellphone into my house.Copy !req
433. Uh, Chuck,
um, did you...Copy !req
434. Chuck,
did you read this?Copy !req
435. Read what?Copy !req
436. Uh, this, um, this bill.
Did you read it?Copy !req
437. Emergency-room bill...
Yeah, I may
have glanced at it.Copy !req
438. It fell
out of your pocket.Copy !req
439. Hey, Chuck, listen,
I... I know how this looks.Copy !req
440. I'm down to my last dime,
and, suddenly,Copy !req
441. I'm paying for broken legs,
but...Copy !req
442. It's... It's not that.Copy !req
443. I swear.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
444. This represents
a good thing, ultimately.Copy !req
445. Okay.Copy !req
446. I... I'm not backsliding.
This isn't slippin' Jimmy.Copy !req
447. Fine.Copy !req
448. Take off the space blanket,
will you, please, Chuck?Copy !req
449. It helps.Copy !req
450. Take off the space blanket.
I didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
451. It has nothing
to do with that.
It was your phone.Copy !req
452. Take off
the space blanket.Copy !req
453. Why?Copy !req
454. Take off the
space blanket, Chuck.Copy !req
455. Come on.
Take off the blanket.Copy !req
456. Thank you.Copy !req
457. Front yard?
Mmm.Copy !req
458. Uh, do you have any idea
where it landed?Copy !req
459. No.Copy !req
460. (TELEPHONE RINGING)
No.Copy !req
461. No.Copy !req
462. No.Copy !req
463. No.Copy !req
464. No. No.Copy !req
465. No.Copy !req
466. What do you want?Copy !req
467. Not to starve
to death.Copy !req
468. What do you say?Copy !req
469. Got something for me?Copy !req
470. It's showtime, folks.Copy !req
471. (BUZZER)
Globis, lawyer.Copy !req
472. I'm gonna kill him.Copy !req
473. "Your honor, I'm very sorry.
I'll never do it again."Copy !req
474. Say what?
Just...Copy !req
475. Your honor, I'm very sorry,
and I'll never do it again.Copy !req
476. Okay, Mr. Pearson,
up you go.Copy !req
477. Up you go.
All right.Copy !req
478. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa!Copy !req
479. What's this?
I told you a suit,
remember?Copy !req
480. Told you you
want to look sharp.Copy !req
481. That's a loaner, okay?
I need it back. Let's go.Copy !req
482. Petty with a prior.
The kid took
a slice of pizza.Copy !req
483. Petty with a prior.
Look, the parents
are a train wreck.Copy !req
484. There's no food
in the house!
He was hungry!Copy !req
485. Petty with a prior.
Come on!Copy !req
486. You're light on stickers.
Come on.Copy !req
487. $5.
You serious?Copy !req
488. You got four.
You need five.Copy !req
489. There's four
90-minute stickers there.Copy !req
490. You've been here
6 hours and 5 minutes.Copy !req
491. It takes 10 minutes
to walk down here!Copy !req
492. $5, or you go get
another sticker.Copy !req
493. This makes you feel
real important, huh?Copy !req
494. Not enough stickers!
More stickers!Copy !req
495. It's showtime, folks.Copy !req
496. It's showtime.Copy !req
497. Petty with a prior.
(URINAL FLUSHES)Copy !req
498. Prior will stay
on his sheet for life.Copy !req
499. Petty with a prior.Copy !req
500. (SIGHS)
You're overcharging him.Copy !req
501. Petty with a prior.Copy !req
502. That lady up there.
She shorts me
every time, okay?Copy !req
503. This is not a me problem...
This is a you problem.Copy !req
504. It's showtime.Copy !req
505. What?
It's from a movie.Copy !req
506. Hey!Copy !req
507. Petty with a prior.
Misdemeanor shoplifting.Copy !req
508. Petty with a prior.
Come on. Meet me halfway.Copy !req
509. Petty with a prior.
(SIGHS) I can't do it.Copy !req
510. Petty with a prior.
Okay, or how about this?Copy !req
511. I plead the kid
to the sheet,Copy !req
512. but you give me
a continued sentence.Copy !req
513. And in six months,
if he's still clean,Copy !req
514. you file
for a dismissal.Copy !req
515. Come on. Is this how
you want to
spend your time?Copy !req
516. You can have
the rest of these.Copy !req
517. Berger, lawyer.Copy !req
518. Oh, Mr. Berger, we've met
before, haven't we?Copy !req
519. Mr. Edison, like the inventor?
I'm James McGill.Copy !req
520. I'll be your lawyer.Copy !req
521. Doesn't matter. Judge has
got to see your mother.Copy !req
522. Well, do you know anybody
who looks like her?Copy !req
523. No, an uncle won't do it.Copy !req
524. Okay, so,
a fire was started.Copy !req
525. We all know that.Copy !req
526. Freezing, shivering,
as she is now.Copy !req
527. In fact,
wrote a book about it.
(CLICKS TONGUE)Copy !req
528. to make some cookies.Copy !req
529. But because you...
given her this name...Copy !req
530. You can see that this man...Copy !req
531. Chose... A bonehead move.Copy !req
532. Like a troll
under a bridge!Copy !req
533. "You must have the stickers,
or you won't pass!"Copy !req
534. Troll alert here.
Don't feed it!Copy !req
535. (GREETING IN VIETNAMESE)
ladies.Copy !req
536. Good evening,
Mrs. Nguyen.Copy !req
537. No mail.Copy !req
538. Hey, Vicki, Maggie.Copy !req
539. You have... Zero messages.Copy !req
540. (DOOR THUDS)
Customer.Copy !req
541. What?
For you.
A customer, waiting now.Copy !req
542. Oh, uh, sure, sure.
Uh, give me a minute.Copy !req
543. Welcome, welcome.
My office is being painted.Copy !req
544. Excuse the temporary,
uh, quarters.Copy !req
545. Wow. Cozy.Copy !req
546. Just me.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
547. Tuco freaked
you out, huh?Copy !req
548. It's cool.
He doesn't know I'm here.Copy !req
549. So, uh...
What can I do for you?Copy !req
550. I've been thinking
about what you saidCopy !req
551. out there
in the desert.Copy !req
552. Those people that
you were trying to scam.
How much did they steal?Copy !req
553. Um, north of a million
and a half bucks, I think.Copy !req
554. So, they have a million
and a half bucks somewhere.Copy !req
555. In what, cash?Copy !req
556. I don't... Well...Copy !req
557. Why are you asking me?Copy !req
558. I'm gonna rip them off.
Oh.Copy !req
559. I like
ripping off thievesCopy !req
560. 'cause they can't go to the
cops. They have no recourse.Copy !req
561. Mmm.Copy !req
562. You point me at where
they have their cash,Copy !req
563. I'll pay you,
a what do you call it?Copy !req
564. A finder's fee.
Call it 10%, 100 large.Copy !req
565. Well, uh, why...
Why would you
come to me for that?Copy !req
566. You already tried
ripping them off.Copy !req
567. I'm gonna finish
what you started.Copy !req
568. I... I wasn't trying
to rip them off.Copy !req
569. I... I just wanted
their business.Copy !req
570. Okay. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
571. (SIGHS) I don't know
where their money is.Copy !req
572. Smart guy like you
could figure it out.Copy !req
573. If I know what I need
to know, nobody gets hurt.Copy !req
574. We rip them off.
Easy money.Copy !req
575. Hey, look, I'm a lawyer,
not a criminal.Copy !req
576. You are shitting me.Copy !req
577. I crossed a line.
I made a mistake.Copy !req
578. I'm not doing that
again, not ever.Copy !req
579. I got between
you and Tuco.Copy !req
580. Do you think you'd be here
now. I kept my mouth shut?Copy !req
581. And I appreciate that.
I owe you.Copy !req
582. And if you're
ever in trouble,Copy !req
583. god forbid,
legal trouble,Copy !req
584. I will be there,
24-7, as a lawyer.Copy !req
585. What's your angle?Copy !req
586. No! No angle.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
587. And I'm not saying anything
about this to anybody.Copy !req
588. As far as I'm concerned,
you're a client.Copy !req
589. This is
a consultation,Copy !req
590. and everything
you just told me
is privileged.Copy !req
591. You rat, you die.Copy !req
592. And that, too, yes.Copy !req
593. For when you figure out
you're in the game.Copy !req
594. I'm not in the game.Copy !req
595. (DOOR OPENS)
I... I promise.Copy !req