Better Call Saul 6x12

1. Yeah?

2. Do you have any idea what time it is?

3. A watched pot never boils, Francesca.

4. It's been an hour.

5. You've got a lobby full of people out here, and at 8:00, I am done.

6. I don't care if the building burns down. I'm going home.

7. Wow. You and your work ethic.

8. Did I ever tell you how indispensable you are? No?

9. How much longer, Saul?

10. You know what? I can't say.

11. So pass along my sincerest apologies

12. and tell them I'm swamped.

13. Everyone can hear you bouncing that thing.

14. That's the sound of thinking. You should try it sometime.

15. Yeah?

16. What are you waiting for? Send her in.

17. How's it coming?

18. Good.

19. Did you get the mayonnaise?

20. Well, here's the thing.

21. They didn't have Duke's, and I really like Duke's.

22. But they didn't have it, which is a bummer.

23. So...

24. I don't know.

25. Think this'll work?

26. I mean, technically, it isn't actually mayonnaise, but...

27. Yeah.

28. Technically, I don't think this is mayonnaise.

29. But close, right?

30. What do you think?

31. Should we give it a shot?

32. I don't know.

33. What do you think?

34. Yeah.

35. Let's give it a shot.

36. Oh, my gosh.

37. I don't know.

38. It's as close as I could get.

39. Cissy, garnet and gold.

40. I see it plain as day.

41. Plus, they're really beautiful, Cissy.

42. The red ones could maybe pass for garnet.

43. But the gold ones are just regular yellow.

44. Well, the minute I saw them, I said "FSU."

45. Besides, gold food coloring?

46. - June, did you ever even hear of that? - No. Sounds expensive.

47. If they even make such a thing,

48. you'd probably get flipper hands from all the chemicals.

49. Well, this is as close as I could get, anyway.

50. - It's perfect, Cissy. - Thank you.

51. - This is all so beautiful. - Looks amazing.

52. - Looks delicious. - I forgot spoons.

53. - Let me tell you about epoxy. - Epoxy yellows.

54. - You hit it with enough sun... - He's right.

55. If you just use a dark enough floor...

56. Guys, I'm telling you. We're never gonna settle this.

57. I've been having this argument five days a week.

58. - But now I'm Sweden. - Switzerland.

59. - Want something to drink? - Wine coolers?

60. - Cissy? - Marvin doesn't like me to drink.

61. Cissy.

62. We're gonna get a wine cooler down you one day.

63. That was fun.

64. Yeah. That was fun.

65. Yep.

66. Yep.

67. Yep.

68. Yep.

69. Yep.

70. Yep.

71. Yep.

72. That's it right there. Good job, guys.

73. Peter the Great is buried inside me.

74. - What did she say? - We're gonna help each other.

75. Boy, you gotta be in shape to be on this show.

76. You sure do.

77. Lots of running.

78. Yeah.

79. Think they ever ran with the bulls on this show?

80. Like, in Spain?

81. Well, not that we've seen, I don't think.

82. Maybe it's too dangerous.

83. What do you think?

84. Maybe.

85. Maybe.

86. - Yeah. - We gotta go.

87. I thought the potato salad worked out great.

88. - You think? - Yep.

89. Looks like rain again.

90. Yeah. It does.

91. Oh, hey, they opened a new Outback down in Satellite Beach.

92. - You wanna go Friday? - Sure.

93. It's a date.

94. Yes, yes, yes...

95. Can you tell me the flange diameter of 212-dash-17-backslash-H?

96. Great.

97. Does that come in a 3-inch riser, or just the 2-inch?

98. Great.

99. ABS or PVC?

100. Oh, great.

101. - Hi. - Hi.

102. We're gonna sing at 5.

103. Great.

104. Let me see.

105. That's cute, June.

106. I'll pick up the cake after lunch.

107. Do you remember what kind of ice cream Tammy likes?

108. Uh...

109. - Jeez, no. - Yeah.

110. So maybe... What do you think?

111. Vanilla or strawberry?

112. Ooh. Um...

113. - They're both good. - I know, right?

114. - Five o'clock. - Okay, great.

115. No. Nobody makes it that long.

116. Well, I mean... Because, I mean, think about it.

117. It's gotta fit in the truck, right? So how's it gonna fit in the truck if...?

118. Well, yeah. But nobody makes a truck that long so...

119. Safe to say.

120. Okay. Well, sorry we couldn't be of service.

121. So, whatever happened to crack?

122. How come you never hear about it on the news anymore?

123. Did everybody just all decide to stop taking it?

124. What's the drug that makes you dance and put a pacifier in your mouth?

125. - Ecstasy. - Ecstasy.

126. That's the big one now...

127. Yeah, that's the big one. My sister's best friend's son?

128. Oh, my God.

129. But I don't understand the pacifier. Why would they all need pacifiers?

130. Don't you think if you ran a store

131. and some teenager came in and tried to buy a pacifier,

132. - don't you think you'd call the police? - Yeah.

133. - I sure would. - Absolutely.

134. What you eating?

135. Tuna salad.

136. I made it with Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise.

137. Hm. I use almond butter instead of peanut...

138. When I woke up this morning,

139. guess what was in my living room.

140. A freaking exercise bike.

141. Yeah.

142. I can't believe he got that for my birthday.

143. Hold on a second.

144. Palm Coast Sprinkler, watering your world since 1978.

145. Please, hold.

146. Yep?

147. Kim, there's a Viktor St. Claire for you on Line 3.

148. Kim?

149. Yeah. Okay.

150. Yeah, so, what do you think about that? That's pretty rude.

151. What brand is it?

152. I don't care who made it.

153. I don't care if it's Megatron 3000 or worth $4 million.

154. I'm gonna ride it straight back to the store,

155. and guess what he's gonna get for his next birthday.

156. Some hair regrowth serum. And I'm gonna laugh at him.

157. Yeah.

158. Kim Wexler.

159. Hey, Kim.

160. You know who this is?

161. I'm gonna take that as a yes.

162. Uh, that receptionist of yours, is she the type to listen in?

163. - No. - Good.

164. Okay.

165. So how's Florida been treating you?

166. I'm catching you between hurricanes, I hope.

167. Kim, you there?

168. What do you want?

169. I don't want anything.

170. I just...

171. It's been a while, you know?

172. Just thinking it's been a while.

173. And, uh, it might be nice to catch up.

174. Catch up?

175. Yeah, my mind was wandering this morning.

176. I was not thinking anything in particular, just random thoughts.

177. And, bam, it suddenly occurred to me. It's been six years.

178. I mean, Jesus.

179. I couldn't believe it.

180. I thought you might wanna know I'm still alive.

181. Yep.

182. I'm still out here.

183. Still getting away with it.

184. Feds couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a proctologist.

185. You shouldn't be calling me.

186. Oh, hey, you're awake.

187. You shouldn't be calling.

188. Why not? Am I tying up the line for important irrigation business?

189. Come on, Kim. Say something.

190. Call me an asshole. Yell at me.

191. Just let me know you still got a pulse.

192. Just say something.

193. You want me to say something?

194. Yeah.

195. You should turn yourself in.

196. Do what?

197. You heard me.

198. I don't know what kind of life you've been living, but it can't be much.

199. Said the pot to the kettle.

200. That is really rich. You preaching to me?

201. See...

202. you have no idea what I did or didn't do, okay?

203. And why don't you turn yourself in?

204. Seeing as how you're the one with the guilty conscience, huh?

205. What is stopping you?

206. Fring's in the ground.

207. Mike's in the ground. Lalo's in the ground, apparently.

208. You don't have to hold back on my account.

209. They can only hang me once. So go ahead.

210. Spill your guts. Put on your hair shirt. See what it gets you.

211. Why...?

212. Kim, why are we even talking about this?

213. We're both too smart to throw our lives away for no reason.

214. I just...

215. I only wanted to...

216. Kim.

217. Kim.

218. - Kim. - I'm glad you're alive.

219. Yeah?

220. Time to sing.

221. Okay.

222. I'll make sure they're aware. Just remember to sit up straight

223. and listen carefully when the judge addresses you.

224. Stay attentive and engaged.

225. Even if you're not sure what's going on, don't show it.

226. All right. Come here.

227. - Tuck your shirt in for me, will you? - Okay.

228. You gotta look good for the judge...

229. Because of your record, this judge might be looking

230. to make an example of you.

231. Okay, so you need to...

232. Kim?

233. Hi, Cheryl.

234. I'm out front.

235. Howard was murdered?

236. Why?

237. He was...

238. in the wrong place at the wrong time.

239. Where's his body?

240. I don't know.

241. And the police?

242. Will they search again?

243. They'll search.

244. I don't think they'll find him.

245. Cheryl, he...

246. It...

247. It all happened in an instant. And he didn't...

248. He didn't suffer.

249. He didn't suffer?

250. The lies you two made up.

251. The picture you painted.

252. That's all he is now.

253. That's all anybody remembers.

254. I wanna change that.

255. What happens now?

256. Will you be tried?

257. Will you go to jail?

258. I don't know.

259. You're a lawyer, right?

260. You're a great one, Howard said.

261. How could you not know?

262. Bernalillo County has my affidavit.

263. It's up to the district attorney whether to prosecute.

264. And she may not.

265. Why?

266. There's no physical evidence.

267. No remaining witnesses other than my ex-husband,

268. assuming he's still alive.

269. I could sue you in civil court.

270. I could take everything you've got.

271. Yeah.

272. Why are you doing this?

273. Oh, God!

274. Passwords.

275. Passwords.

276. A hat man.

277. Holy shit.

278. Nothing to see here.

279. Move along.

280. Look at this bullshit. Look.

281. Look. What would you call this?

282. I'd call that... I don't know, what?

283. Would you call that a fish taco? Could anybody call this a fish taco?

284. - Legally? - Stop waving that at me.

285. Look at this.

286. There's one piece of goddamned pollock no bigger than the end of my thumb.

287. - How can you even call that...? - Like I'm supposed to do something? What?

288. I want you to look inside and tell me what you see.

289. Huh? Would you or would you not sell this to an unsuspecting public?

290. Why do you persist in ordering fish when we're 1400 miles from the ocean?

291. Because it's on the menu, all right?

292. Because I live in the 21st goddamn century, all right?

293. And this? This is some bullshit.

294. I'm telling you, I got half a mind to go back there and smack somebody in the...

295. Charlie 14, Charlie 14, can you advise on your 10-16?

296. Yes.

297. What do you think? Pretty great, right?

298. Yeah. It's, uh...

299. Yep.

300. I just need your printed name and signature.

301. So...

302. Florida.

303. Florida, Florida, Florida.

304. Why there?

305. - I guess... - It doesn't matter.

306. Doesn't have to make sense.

307. Hey, I gotta tell you.

308. I think you're gonna regret not taking your share of the Sandpiper money.

309. That'd buy a shitload of swampland.

310. I will, um...

311. file these tomorrow.

312. All right. Well, have a nice life, Kim.

313. Hey, sweetcheeks, who do we got next? Let's make some money.

314. Emilio Koyama.

315. - Where's your paperwork? - I don't do no paperwork.

316. He doesn't do paperwork.

317. Who cares? Come on, come on.

318. Hey, yo, could I bum one of those?

319. Thanks.

320. What's up with this shit?

321. It's rainy.

322. Yeah, no, it's...

323. It's crazy.

324. It's like bananas, all this rain.

325. I mean, I thought we were, like, in a desert, you know?

326. You're a lawyer, right?

327. Ah.

328. I recognize you.

329. You defended my buddy Combo.

330. Christian Ortega. Juvie court?

331. Stole a baby Jesus?

332. I mean, not like a real baby, just a... One of those things outside of the church.

333. - Nativity scene. - Yeah.

334. Knights of Columbus.

335. I mean, what the hell did he even want that thing for, huh?

336. I still don't know. Dumbass.

337. I told him he could go to hell for stealing that,

338. but did he listen to me? No.

339. But you, you got him off, like, scot-free. That...

340. That was pretty slick, yo.

341. Well, tell him I hope he's keeping his nose clean.

342. Yeah. Yeah, right on.

343. Absolutely.

344. Hey, so you having all this expertise and all...

345. this guy Goodman...

346. He the real deal? Like, lawyer-wise?

347. Why do you ask?

348. I got a buddy in there who's facing some serious time.

349. I mean, not baby Jesus time, but serious.

350. You know, he needs top-shelf legal representation.

351. And I tell him that, right? But he sees this dude's commercials on TV

352. and this is where he wants to go.

353. And I tell him, "Yo, Emilio, you know,

354. a funny TV commercial is not a sound basis for, like, you know..."

355. I mean, like, would you go to a doctor to do an operation on you,

356. on, like, your spleen or whatever

357. on the fact of a funny TV commercial? No.

358. I mean, come on. How is this any different, you know?

359. Anyway.

360. This guy, any good?

361. When I knew him, he was.

362. Hello?

363. Hey, uh, Dad?

364. It's me. It's... It's Jeff.

365. Jeff? What time is it?

366. Are you okay?

367. Yeah. No, not really. Um...

368. I, uh... Dad, I got arrested.

369. Oh, no. What for? Jeffie.

370. It's like this crazy mistake, you know? I mean, I had an accident, okay?

371. A little fender bender type deal, no big thing.

372. My foot maybe slipped on the accelerator, or maybe it was defective.

373. I don't know. But that's not the big deal part.

374. The big deal part is, they think that I...

375. me, committed a robbery.

376. - Why would they think that? - I know, right?

377. The place where I had the accident? This guy, this drunk guy?

378. He comes wandering out of his house and flags down the cops, the police.

379. And says "Hey, you know, I got robbed."

380. And sure enough, the police, they find evidence of, like, breaking and entering.

381. And... And... And stuff is missing, which I did not do.

382. And, uh...

383. Yeah. Like that.

384. Well, the police are obviously barking up the wrong tree.

385. Yeah. No shit, wrong tree.

386. - Wrong, like, forest. - Exactly.

387. Because you would never do something like that, would you, son?

388. No, no. No way, man. Absolutely not.

389. When the police took you into custody,

390. did they find any of this so-called stolen merchandise?

391. - Was it in your possession? - No.

392. Of course it wasn't. Because you didn't steal anything.

393. Therefore, since there's no evidence whatsoever that you committed any crime,

394. I'd say you got nothing to worry about.

395. So, what happens next?

396. Breathe deep and sit tight. I'll have you out by lunchtime.

397. You coming down here yourself?

398. Nah, I think it'll be your mom.

399. - You'll talk to her for me? - I sure will.

400. Straighten it all out, no problem.

401. Yeah. Okay. Good.

402. You're gonna get the best legal defense in the whole wide world.

403. Trust your old man on that.

404. Okay, copy that. Sit tight.

405. You do that.

406. Keep your shirt on.

407. Hello?

408. Gene. Honey, do you know what time it is?

409. Oh. Oh, God. That boy.

410. He's gonna put me in my grave.

411. Marion, it's a mistake, is all.

412. Getting picked up for something you didn't do?

413. That could happen to anybody.

414. Yeah, right, anyone. This isn't the first time, you know.

415. He's been in trouble before. Oh, Jesus.

416. - Marion. - The death of me.

417. - He's gonna be the death of me. - Marion?

418. Marion, it's gonna be all right.

419. We'll get him out of there lickety-split.

420. I've been through this before. There's nothing lickety-split about it.

421. Back when he was living in Albuquerque, drunk in public, resisting arrest,

422. urinating in someplace he shouldn't have.

423. And me on the telephone for hours,

424. long-distance, trying to find him one of those bailout places.

425. I maxed out my Discover card. I'm still paying for that one.

426. Well, money's not gonna be a problem, because I'm gonna help you with that.

427. No. Gene, I can't let you do that.

428. Sure you can. Jeff will pay me back.

429. And you don't have to worry about a bondsman, either.

430. Because guess what, in Omaha, they don't have them.

431. All right? You just walk in the station, you pay a straight cash bail.

432. It's not like Albuquerque at all.

433. Marion, you still there?

434. Yeah. Why...?

435. Why did Jeff call you instead of me?

436. Well, I think he was scared of how you'd take it.

437. Honestly, I was gonna pay the bail myself, but I think it should be a family member.

438. I think that'd be best.

439. I'll tell you what, I'm gonna take a shower, get dressed.

440. And you do the same. I'll swing by and pick you up.

441. We'll get this whole thing squared away.

442. What about Buddy? Is he in any trouble?

443. I don't think so. Why would he be?

444. I'll see you in about an hour.

445. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Thanks.

446. Marion.

447. Marion.

448. Marion?

449. Marion.

450. - Oh! - Hey.

451. - Hi. - Oh, hey.

452. Everything okay?

453. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I just lost track of the time.

454. That's okay. Uh...

455. Wanna put some clothes on, so that we can get moving?

456. What do you say?

457. Uh, well, you know, I don't wanna slow things down.

458. I think maybe you ought to go without me.

459. You are under arrest.

460. I better call Saul.

461. Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights?

462. The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty,

463. every man, woman and child in this country is innocent.

464. And that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque.

465. "Better Call Saul."

466. What's that?

467. You tell me.

468. Marion, do you think that's me?

469. Because it's not.

470. There never was a Nippy, was there?

471. What did Jeff tell you?

472. He didn't tell me anything.

473. Ask Jeeves told me.

474. I typed in "con man" and "Albuquerque,"

475. and up you popped, big as day.

476. - What are you doing, Marion? - What do you think? Calling the police.

477. Here, let me help you with that.

478. Listen, I think we're losing sight of the bigger picture here, okay?

479. Jeff is in trouble and I wanna help him.

480. He and I sure could use your support here.

481. - What did you get my son into? - Nothing that he didn't ask for.

482. Now, listen, I'm still the good friend you thought I was, okay?

483. Jeff understands me, Buddy understands me.

484. And you will too.

485. Just have to, you know, keep things on an even keel.

486. All right?

487. What have you got there?

488. Put that down.

489. Put that down, Marion.

490. Put it down.

491. Do not do it, Marion.

492. Final warning.

493. I trusted you.

494. Marion? This is Valerie with Life Alert. Are you okay?

495. No, Valerie, I'm not okay.

496. There's a criminal standing in my kitchen, threatening me.

497. He's a wanted man, and his name is Saul Goodman.

498. All right. Marion, I'm calling the police. I'm calling right now.