1. Guys.
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2. Come on. Talk to me.
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3. Crap, you already knew that.
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4. Jesus, fellas.
There's a better way to do this.
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5. Hello?
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6. Why are we going off-road?
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7. Oh, oh...
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8. Whatever this is,
can we please not do it in the desert?
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9. Anywhere but the desert.
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10. Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick.
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11. Come on, guys. This...
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12. We can... We can fix this.
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13. Whatever the problemo,
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14. we can fix it with dinero.
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15. Come on. Please.
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16. One of you, if you'd talk, habla.
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17. Come on, before mistakes are made.
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18. Come on, talk to me, guys, huh?
Please! Come on!
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19. Just tell me what you want!
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20. Jeez...
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21. Oh, no, no, no! No, it wasn't me!
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22. It was Ignacio! He's the one...
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23. It's good.
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24. You can't put seeds and stems in the sink.
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25. Put what or what?
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26. Seeds and stems.
You can't put them down the drain.
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27. Uh, we didn't do that.
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28. Then what's this?
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29. Regular sink stuff.
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30. Listen, if you're gonna do this shit,
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31. at least flush it down the toilet.
Not the sink.
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32. What are you, my mom?
We don't have drugs here.
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33. Uh-huh.
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34. You don't believe us.
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35. She doesn't believe us.
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36. You sleep past noon,
you don't seem to have regular employment,
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37. plus your whole place
smells like a skunk's butthole.
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38. Also, your sink
is full of stems and seeds.
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39. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look, narca, we're not doing drugs,
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40. so stop trying to cast, you know...
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41. aspersions.
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42. - "Narca"?
- Yeah, "narca."
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43. Feminine version of "narco."
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44. Conjugate much?
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45. I gotta go. Leave the plunger
outside the door when you're done.
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46. But it's still clogged, dude.
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47. You do it, dude.
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48. - Where you going?
- Yo, lady.
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49. We pay rent.
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50. You can do it.
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51. It's a simple up-and-down motion,
like you're used to.
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52. Okay, okay. Okay.
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53. - Yeah?
- Oh!
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54. Good. You're there. Great.
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55. Great. Unencumbered
by curious eyes and ears, I'm guessing.
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56. - Wouldn't have picked up otherwise.
- Right.
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57. Excellent.
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58. Okay. Well, then...
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59. Lay it on me.
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60. First things first.
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61. No, I believe we agreed after.
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62. I'm hanging up.
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63. Okay, okay, then. Jeez, I...
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64. Okay, if you're facing the phone...
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65. turn right, 90 degrees, and walk straight.
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66. You'll see some pieces
of broken concrete in the dirt.
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67. Just pull back the one
that's kind of shaped like New Jersey.
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68. New Jersey?
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69. Alfred Hitchcock in a fez. Whatever.
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70. Just pull that one back
and you'll see a, um, soda can tab.
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71. It's got a fishing line tied to it.
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72. Follow that line,
it'll take you to an old water line,
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73. and just keep pulling the string
and you'll get what I promised.
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74. Okay.
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75. Great. Was it all there?
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76. I mean,
the rats didn't eat it or anything?
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77. It's all here.
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78. Okay. Well, uh...
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79. tell me. How hot?
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80. - How hot?
- Yeah.
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81. Well, I still get followed.
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82. Not as often as when the shit
first hit the fan, but I still see them.
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83. My mail gets opened.
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84. My phone at home clicks whenever I use it.
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85. So the maestro buying the farm,
it didn't change anything?
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86. No. If anything, it made it worse.
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87. Skyler White got her deal,
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88. so the only ones left
to go after are you and Pinkman,
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89. and I heard they found his car
down by the border, so...
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90. adiós, dopehead.
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91. Oh. So they're still into me.
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92. Well...
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93. Hey, what do you know
about the nail salons?
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94. Nail salons are gone.
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95. What? Gone? All of them?
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96. Yup.
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97. What about the vending machines?
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98. - Gone.
- Jesus.
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99. Uh, don't tell me... Laser tag?
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100. Feds found it all, Saul.
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101. But how?
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102. It was shells within shells.
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103. Damn it.
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104. Damn it.
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105. Okay.
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106. Okay.
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107. Hey. Oh.
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108. What if, let's say,
there was an overseas account
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109. in Antigua and Barbuda?
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110. Tigerfish Corporation?
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111. - What?
- Tigerfish Corporation, 850K?
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112. I gave it to the feds.
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113. You did what? Why would you do that?
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114. Time has expired.
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115. Goddamn it!
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116. You put my name on the board
of a fictional corporation.
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117. I had to. I didn't really have a choice.
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118. And a heads-up
would have been nice, by the way.
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119. So...
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120. It's gone. It's all gone.
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121. Those sons of bitches took everything.
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122. Except what you took with you.
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123. And I'm guessing that wasn't chump change.
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124. Yeah, well...
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125. Well...
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126. Guess that's it.
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127. Wait, wait, come on.
I just put more quarters in.
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128. Can't you just, I don't know,
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129. give me the lowdown?
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130. - There's nothing else.
- Well, that's not true.
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131. After all this time,
come on, just fill me in.
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132. What, um...
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133. How's Kuby?
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134. No idea.
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135. All right, how about Huell?
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136. Huell?
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137. I guess back home in New Orleans.
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138. DEA held him
under false pretenses or something.
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139. So last I heard, he walked.
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140. Good.
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141. Uh, how about Danny?
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142. Or, uh, Ira?
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143. I mean, any word on those two guys?
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144. They have Internet where you are?
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145. Well, just...
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146. Come on, give me something.
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147. There's gotta be some news.
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148. Remember Bill Oakley?
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149. He switched sides.
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150. He came out, huh?
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151. No, he's not gay.
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152. He's a defense attorney now.
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153. Huh.
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154. Well, I mean...
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155. What about you? How are you doing?
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156. I'm just great.
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157. Prince Rainier proposed.
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158. The private jet is taking us
to the palace on Thursday.
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159. Yeah. Okay, well...
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160. I guess that's it, then.
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161. I did get one call...
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162. after everything went down.
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163. Kim.
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164. Checking in on me.
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165. No kidding?
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166. Mm-hm.
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167. Your name came up.
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168. Asked if you were alive.
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169. She asked about me.
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170. What did you tell her?
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171. Nothing.
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172. But she asked.
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173. Yup.
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174. Oh, okay, well...
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175. I guess...
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176. this is goodbye.
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177. Hello? Hello?
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178. Hi, I need a number in Florida.
Titusville.
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179. Palm Coast Sprinklers.
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180. It's on a road, um...
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181. It's named after a fish. Uh...
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182. Tarpon Road. Right.
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183. Can you put me through? I'll...
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184. Say again how much? Okay.
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185. Hi.
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186. I'm looking for...
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187. Kim Wexler. I believe she works there?
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188. Another good one.
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189. Oh, hey, Jeffie.
Look what the cat dragged in.
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190. Hey... Hey, Gene.
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191. Your mom was showing me
this computer you bought her.
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192. Well, he got it for me, and I didn't know
what the hell to do with it.
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193. Look. Gene showed me.
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194. You go to the box up here.
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195. And then you type in "funny cat videos."
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196. I mean, that's it,
just "funny cat videos."
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197. These funny cat videos just pop up.
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198. Look at this one. Look, look.
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199. Cat eating ice cream. Can you believe it?
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200. It's like America's Funniest Home Videos,
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201. - but you get to be the host.
- Wouldn't that be something?
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202. Hey. Uh, Jeffie, get some glasses
and we can pour the old schnapps, huh?
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203. Yeah.
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204. I thought a computer
would be good for her. You know?
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205. It was on sale.
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206. Not a...
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207. big buy at all.
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208. Well, I think it's great.
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209. "Treat your mom right," that's what I say.
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210. Hey, Marion, how about, uh,
we leave you to the cat videos...
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211. and Jeff and I take our drink to go.
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212. I mean, is that car running?
I'd love to take a gander.
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213. Come on.
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214. Okay.
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215. I swear, the computer's
the one big thing I bought.
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216. And it's not even that much.
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217. It's an old model on discount.
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218. And nobody said nothing to nobody.
Not me, not Buddy.
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219. Living our lives like normal,
just like you said.
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220. Stop talking.
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221. - But I want...
- Jeff, stop talking.
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222. I need you to answer some questions.
First up: You have a night shift, right?
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223. You mean the graveyard shift
at the cab company? Yeah.
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224. What are the hours?
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225. They got a 9-to-6, a midnight-to-9. Why?
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226. Get on the 9-to-6.
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227. After that, we need to get our hands
on some barbiturates.
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228. What?
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229. You're shitting me.
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230. What are we gonna do with them?
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231. But you said we're done. You said...
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232. cross to the other side of the street
if I see you coming.
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233. So we're back in business?
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234. Oh, hell yeah.
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235. Thanks.
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236. Wow.
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237. Wow.
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238. He did that.
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239. Well...
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240. that must have been what it would be like
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241. if you watched the Hindenburg go down.
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242. But worse, am I right?
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243. Yeah, well, with gusto, right?
A bet's a bet.
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244. With gusto.
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245. Hey, what do you say we go again,
up the stakes?
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246. Loser has to sing
with his shirt off this time.
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247. No, no, no. No more bets. Okay?
Come on, I haven't been right once.
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248. Oh, what's the matter, little fella?
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249. You haven't been right once? Not once?
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250. Hey, can we get more peanuts?
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251. Come on, Viktor. Don't be a wuss.
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252. I'm not a wuss.
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253. That's right. You're not.
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254. You... You gotta believe
in yourself, little buddy.
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255. Come on, let's do one more bet.
One more bet, one more bet.
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256. No. No more.
No more lemon wedges on my nose.
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257. No more trick coins,
no more toothpick puzzles.
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258. I'm not good at this.
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259. Viktor...
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260. this is an easy one.
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261. Now, you grab the hundo before I do,
you get to keep it.
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262. I grab the hundo first,
you buy another round.
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263. Only rule is, you can't move until I move.
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264. Yeah, but I'm so much closer to it.
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265. It's like giving me the money.
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266. So you wanna take the bet?
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267. Yeah, I'll take it.
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268. - Oh!
- Son of a bitch.
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269. You lose, sucker.
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270. Another round, good man.
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271. Once again, courtesy of my little friend.
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272. All right, all right.
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273. You're fun.
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274. You're all right, Viktor.
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275. I just wish I knew how you did it.
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276. Well, you see, I'm a man of many talents.
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277. And you are a man of very few.
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278. Ha, ha! Kidding.
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279. Kidding. Maybe.
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280. Every time... Every time,
she'll never see it coming.
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281. I need some night air.
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282. Well...
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283. Easy.
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284. Looks like one of our cabs is here.
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285. Okay.
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286. - I'll bet you for it.
- No, no. No bets.
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287. Come on, now. Hear me out. It's simple.
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288. Don't be such a pussy, baby.
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289. Look.
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290. - What?
- Simple as simple can be.
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291. Balance this book of matches
on the back of your hand for ten seconds.
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292. That's it, and the cab is yours.
I'll even pay for it.
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293. Are you just gonna punch me or something?
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294. No, I promise,
my hands won't touch your body
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295. and I won't blow it off
the back of your hand.
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296. Really?
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297. My body will not touch
your body or the matches.
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298. - Fine. I gotta win one, right?
- Huh?
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299. All right.
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300. - That's right, you do.
- Okay.
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301. Now count with me.
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302. - Ten, nine, eight...
- Nine, eight...
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303. Jesus! Jesus!
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304. Loser.
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305. I'll see you around next time, pal.
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306. This was fun.
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307. Oh, and Viktor?
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308. You can keep the matches.
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309. - You called for a ride?
- No, I'm good.
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310. You okay back there?
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311. Yeah, I'm fine.
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312. Just got a lot of booze and,
uh, nuts in my mouth.
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313. I got water here, if you want.
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314. On the house.
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315. Car 357, what's your status?
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316. Yeah, Car 357.
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317. I'm about ten minutes away
from my drop at, uh, 17 Delmar Place.
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318. 357, head to the airport when you're done.
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319. Copy that.
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320. You doing okay, sir?
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321. Yeah, I'm fine.
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322. Hey, you can go.
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323. I'm not giving you another tip.
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324. No problem, sir.
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325. Feel better.
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326. What the hell is this?
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327. It's like James Whale's
traveling road show in here.
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328. Whoever the hell that is.
Crystal Ship definitely travels.
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329. I'm sorry, you said the what travels?
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330. Crystal Ship. It's what I call this thing.
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331. All right. Never mind, just no details.
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332. I'm paying him to do a job.
Let's just leave it at that.
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333. No details? Fellas,
that money you put in my pocket,
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334. that doesn't just extend to this job.
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335. That will get you
attorney-client privilege on all matters.
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336. No details.
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337. Look at the setup.
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338. What, you two drive around
like Mister Softee,
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339. scooping out drugs
for all the good boys and girls?
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340. We don't deal from here.
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341. I said, no details.
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342. He's standing in a meth lab.
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343. It's not like
he ain't gonna put two and two together.
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344. He's on a need-to-know basis.
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345. I didn't wanna show my face.
Did he need to know that?
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346. So you're not just distribution.
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347. You're the whole freaking package.
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348. You two actually make the blue stuff.
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349. Here?
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350. That's amazing.
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351. Can you not touch?
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352. I mean, look at this.
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353. I had a fish that could have
used this as a vacation home,
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354. but you're using it
to make the goods, huh?
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355. Yeah, that's a, uh, round-bottom flask.
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356. Right? Round-bottom?
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357. It's a flask for distilling.
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358. It won't be if you break it.
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359. Now, please, put it down.
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360. Okay, so if you cook the blue stuff,
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361. then that means you're Igor,
and that makes you...
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362. You're Heisenberg.
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363. Wow.
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364. Hey, tell me, how much product
can you churn out with this setup?
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365. We're done. We're done with the questions.
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366. We ask the questions.
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367. You have a job, one job,
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368. and I still don't understand
how you're gonna pull it off.
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369. Listen, when I get all my ducks in a row,
I'll give you a PowerPoint at the office,
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370. but until then,
just bring what we talked about. Okay?
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371. Don't worry, I'm gonna make it work.
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372. I'm taking the 80,000
as a starting point for negotiation.
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373. Take it any way you want.
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374. That's the price, and,
uh, I'm calling shotgun.
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375. I will drive.
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376. Oh, yeah. Sure.
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377. I'll just stand, I guess.
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378. Dick.
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379. At least you won't be rolling around
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380. like the last Christmas ham
in the back of the delivery truck.
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381. You know, I've got bad knees.
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382. Think you might have
messed up my rotator cuff.
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383. You're lucky I'm not charging you
for my chiropractor. She's expensive.
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384. But she adjusts everything.
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385. Damn it.
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386. You gotta give it some gas
when you're backing up.
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387. I gave it the proper amount of gas.
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388. - I guess that's why we're moving, then.
- It just was idling too long. It'll start.
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389. You should've just let me drive, yo.
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390. Look, nothing would be different
in this moment,
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391. except you panicking
and flooding the engine.
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392. Bullshit.
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393. Fellas, I was enjoying
the Laurel and Hardy vibe,
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394. but I'm not such a fan of the Bickersons.
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395. Now, can you get me back to my office?
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396. I got work to do
if you want me to make some magic.
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397. We just need to sit a moment, that's all.
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398. When it idles too long,
the fuel pump overheats.
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399. And so we just need to let it cool down.
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400. So...
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401. who's Lalo?
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402. Who?
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403. Lalo. You thought
some dude named Lalo sent us.
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404. You seemed pretty freaked out.
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405. Never heard of no Lalo on the street.
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406. It's nobody.
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407. Hey, are you gonna
try that again? Because...
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408. Or are they gonna find us buried
in a sandstorm a thousand years from now?
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409. Just, please.
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410. Bravo.
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411. I second that.
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412. And let me give you
two free words of advice.
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413. Jiffy Lube.
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414. Hold on.
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415. Where did you read that?
Personal Finance for Dummies?
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416. I mean, is it wrong?
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417. Yeah, bigtime.
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418. Don't put all your eggs
in one basket, genius.
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419. Yeah, this is mine.
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420. - How about a water?
- Sure.
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421. Thanks.
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422. Wanna know my trick?
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423. Play your own game, don't get caught up
with what the other guys are buying.
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424. Like the man says, "You never know who
is swimming nude till the tide goes out."
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425. I guess, but...
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426. With this financial stuff,
it feels like the game is rigged.
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427. The big guys always win.
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428. Well, I wish I could disagree with you,
Viktor, but I can't.
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429. There is definitely dishonesty,
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430. but the majority,
I believe, are straight shooters.
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431. Now, the folks responsible for, uh...
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432. Enron, WorldCom, Madoff and his ilk...
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433. I gotta believe there's a special place
in hell for those people.
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434. Yeah.
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435. But in my experience,
that's the exception.
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436. You can't let a few bad apples
spoil it for the rest of us.
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437. In fact...
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438. Sorry.
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439. Those look exotic.
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440. I went through that phase.
I took every vitamin there was. Hey.
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441. Guess how many pills I took
to try to keep the hair on my head.
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442. Worked like a charm.
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443. What are those for?
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444. Cancer.
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445. Oh.
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446. Sorry.
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447. Uh, is it, uh...?
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448. Is it bad?
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449. Well, it ain't the good kind.
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450. Come on, more drinks. This one's on me.
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451. Get two more here, please.
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452. Hey, it's none of my business, but, uh...
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453. should you be drinking?
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454. You only go around once.
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455. You got that right.
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456. You sure you don't wanna
take this one, Vik? I can wait.
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457. No, it's all you.
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458. Okay.
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459. Feed me. What do we got?
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460. Remember to take your fish oil?
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461. - B12?
- I did. Did it.
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462. - L-arginine?
- Got them all. Next.
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463. You're supposed to file
that appellate brief for Hemple by 4.
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464. Crap.
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465. Um, hey, could you put down
the travel magazine and help with that?
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466. I'm not a paralegal, Saul.
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467. Anyway, your 12:30 just walked in.
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468. Aces, send them in.
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469. Ho! Enter, sunshine.
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470. Cast some light into my cold, dark world.
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471. Hello, you're on the clock, right?
So give with the info anytime.
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472. When you're done.
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473. I can multitask, please.
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474. I'm not gonna talk to you
while you're on whatever that is.
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475. LBJ used to have his underlings give him
reports while he was on the shitter.
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476. Uh-huh.
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477. Well, either I'm gonna leave,
or I'm gonna put my foot in your skull.
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478. Fine.
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479. You should try one of these.
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480. You walk like Frankenstein
after he was probed by aliens.
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481. I could get you one.
It would do wonders for your chi.
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482. Let's go. Lay it on me.
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483. All right. First...
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484. there's your Mrs. Denise Gabler.
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485. She's cheating, all right.
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486. Limber.
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487. Well, at least I know
they didn't spot you.
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488. No one could stay that aroused
with your mug peeking through the window.
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489. What else you got?
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490. Now, next, I followed your bus driver.
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491. News flash,
he really does have a broken neck.
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492. Fantastic.
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493. That makes my life much easier.
Keep it coming.
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494. Second-story guy out of Indianapolis,
Lasky, did a dime at Menard.
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495. If you're looking for talent who'll keep
his mouth shut, you can trust him.
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496. I say he's worth keeping an eye on.
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497. Second-story guy, second-story guy...
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498. I got more second-story guys in my book
than pimples at a junior prom.
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499. What about, uh, that Heisenberg fella?
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500. High-school chemistry teacher.
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501. You're shitting me. Really?
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502. Walter Hartwell White,
chemistry teacher over at J.P. Wynne.
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503. Working with a former student,
current meth head, one Jesse Pinkman.
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504. Wow.
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505. Uh, what else about the teacher?
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506. He has lung cancer.
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507. Jesus.
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508. That's why
he can't quit with the coughing.
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509. How bad?
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510. Stage 3A, he's in treatment,
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511. more tests to come,
but it doesn't look good.
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512. Listen, even if this guy was gonna live,
I wouldn't go near him.
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513. He's a complete amateur.
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514. Well, you see an amateur,
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515. I see 170 pounds of clay
ready to be molded.
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516. If the cancer doesn't get him,
it'll be the cops or a bullet to the head.
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517. Is that your appraisal, or is that
what He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named
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518. says about him?
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519. He didn't say anything.
The guy is small potatoes.
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520. Yeah, okay, I hear you. I just...
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521. I got a feeling about this.
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522. This Heisenberg guy has got something.
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523. It's top-of-the-line product.
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524. That's the buzz on the street.
I just think with the right management...
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525. Years ago, I bought a Betamax,
good product, top of the line.
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526. Experts said it was better than a VHS.
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527. Turned out to be
a complete waste of time and money.
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528. Hm?
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529. Let it go.
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530. Guy with that mustache probably
doesn't make a lot of good life choices.
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531. - So, yeah. The second-story guy. Menard?
- Right, right, right.
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532. All right. Part of a high-end crew,
fencing jewelry up into Canada.
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533. That Lasky kid caught a bad break.
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534. Cop was driving by
just as he was ducking in a window.
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535. He did the time.
No one else on his crew went down.
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536. Solid.
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537. Known for their
vast migration patterns through Africa,
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538. nearly 2 million wildebeests
travel 2000 miles each year,
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539. making their migration
one of the greatest on earth.
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540. The herd seeks fresh grass...
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541. While traveling,
the herd must stay well-fed,
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542. rested, and free of disease,
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543. or be left behi...
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544. Couple more. And shuffle, ladies.
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545. Just like that.
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546. Now I step.
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547. Four times.
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548. Fabulous.
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549. Let me see you having fun.
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550. Yeah?
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551. Wait. What do you mean?
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552. He what?
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553. Tell him to get his ass
back to the garage right now.
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554. You cutie patootie.
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555. You think you've seen everything.
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556. Oh, kitty, I'm sorry...
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557. Kitty.
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558. Shut that goddamn dog up
and get back in here.
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559. Hey, it's okay, Zeke. I know.
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560. Get in.
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561. You're kidding me. Absolutely kidding me.
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562. - I'm sorry, I couldn't...
- You know how much time,
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563. how much effort
I put into finding the perfect mark?
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564. I have to weed through all these saps
who have wives and families at home,
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565. find somebody who's alone,
with money, and...
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566. So, what? So you can just wimp out?
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567. The guy has cancer, man.
I found pills in his pocket.
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568. Okay? The same ones
my dad took for pancreatic cancer.
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569. So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole?
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570. Believe me. I speak from experience.
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571. I can't rip off a guy with cancer.
I'm sorry.
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572. You know how many of the suckers
we've ripped off had sob stories?
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573. Every single one of them.
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574. Besides, it'll be months before
they even realize they've been taken.
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575. This guy will already be dead,
so get back in your truck,
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576. go back to the house and finish the job.
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577. No, man. I can't do that.
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578. I can't.
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579. All right. I get it.
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580. You get over it, okay? Please, believe me.
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581. Before you know it,
you forget all about it.
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582. Go.
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583. Look, we're doing really well, right?
Hear me out, okay?
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584. We're rolling in cash.
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585. - We can just let this one go.
- Not your call.
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586. But I pulled the tape when I left.
The door is locked.
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587. We couldn't get back in.
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588. Shut up.
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589. Jeff, come on, man. Back me up here.
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590. Huh?
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591. Oh, well, uh, I don't know.
I mean, I can see both sides kind of.
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592. Forget it. You're fired.
Just give me the camera and go.
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593. - Fine.
- Good. Go. We don't need you.
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594. I know I don't need to tell you this,
but since you're such a goddamn amateur,
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595. I will anyway.
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596. Keep your mouth shut.
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597. If we're gonna do this,
we should leave now.
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598. We're really gonna go back there?
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599. What did I just say?
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600. Jeff, are you in or out?
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601. What?
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602. I'm down for this, I am, but, uh...
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603. But what?
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604. What time did the guy take the drugs?
We give it to him, what?
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605. Three hours ago?
I don't even know if he finished it.
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606. - He might be awake by now.
- Don't worry about it.
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607. - Yeah, but...
- I said, don't worry about it.
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608. It'll be fine.
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609. That's it. Right there.
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610. Come back and get me in 20 minutes.
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611. Just roll up slow
like you're picking up a fare.
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612. It'll be fine.
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613. Relax.
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