1. Albuquerque Police. Hello.Copy !req
2. Sir, we'd like to talk
with you for a minute.Copy !req
3. Could you
open the door, please?Copy !req
4. Look, we know
you're in there.Copy !req
5. You're casting a shadow
through your peephole.Copy !req
6. All we want to do
is talk.Copy !req
7. Would you please
open the door?Copy !req
8. I'd, uh... I'd prefer
not to, officers.Copy !req
9. Sir, come on
and open up.Copy !req
10. (SIGHS)
I have a condition.Copy !req
11. Uh, I can't go outsideCopy !req
12. or be exposed
to what's out there.Copy !req
13. You were able
to come outsideCopy !req
14. to steal your
neighbor's newspaper.Copy !req
15. I didn't steal it.Copy !req
16. I left $5.Copy !req
17. The... The cover price
is 50 cents.Copy !req
18. Did your neighbor consent
to sell you her paper?Copy !req
19. I, uh... (SIGHS)Copy !req
20. She... Isn't...Copy !req
21. Um, Officer, let's...
Let's...Copy !req
22. Let's talk about something
called "probable cause."Copy !req
23. As I'm sure you know,
in the state of New Mexico,Copy !req
24. there is a two-part testCopy !req
25. to determine
whether police officersCopy !req
26. have an objectively
reasonable basis...Copy !req
27. (ON TV) ... the situation
as missing,
versus Arizona,Copy !req
28. as I pointed out, uh,
creates an event...Copy !req
29. Hey, Tommy,
come around here,
would you?Copy !req
30. (ON TV) And that's
why the Tenth Circuit
Court of AppealsCopy !req
31. ruled that
a coercive order...Copy !req
32. Check this out.Copy !req
33. requiring an individual
leave his house is seizure,Copy !req
34. and, therefore,Copy !req
35. protected under
the Fourth Amendment, right?Copy !req
36. Whole lot
of camp-stove fuel.Copy !req
37. Guy sure as shit
sounds like a tweaker.Copy !req
38. You see what he did
to the breaker box?Copy !req
39. Is he coming out,
or are we going in?Copy !req
40. You got 10 seconds
to open this door,Copy !req
41. or it's coming down.
You hear me?Copy !req
42. Ah.
Final warning!Copy !req
43. Okay, I'll... I'll... I'll...
I'll let you in,Copy !req
44. but you have to leave
your electronic devices
outside.Copy !req
45. No phones,
no walkie-talkies,Copy !req
46. no flashlights...Copy !req
47. Definitely,
definitely no Tasers.Copy !req
48. I can't emphasize that
enough. Deal?Copy !req
49. Or... Look, look.
I'll give the paper back.Copy !req
50. (OVER INTERCOM) Yeah?Copy !req
51. Uh, James McGill
to see Mr. Richard Sipes.Copy !req
52. Ricky...
Call me "Ricky."Copy !req
53. Come on in.Copy !req
54. Uh. Uh, this is
my assistant's car.Copy !req
55. Well, my Mercedes
is in the shop.Copy !req
56. (CHUCKLES) I ought to
give him a raise.
You're right.Copy !req
57. Jim, I saw you on the TV...Copy !req
58. That billboard thing.Copy !req
59. And I had me a pair
of insights.Copy !req
60. (OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
Insight the first,Copy !req
61. you ain't afraid
to put yourself out there.Copy !req
62. And insight the second,Copy !req
63. you believe in
the real America...Copy !req
64. Freedom,
self-sufficiency.Copy !req
65. I do.Copy !req
66. I... I really do.Copy !req
67. When I see a man
like youCopy !req
68. driving that foreign
shitbox of a car...Copy !req
69. Well, see,
actually, it's...Copy !req
70. it's a sign a good man
can't get ahead today.Copy !req
71. It's a damned travesty.
That's what it is.Copy !req
72. Well, that may be,
(CLEARS THROAT) Ricky,Copy !req
73. but, uh...Copy !req
74. I refuse to consider
myself a victim.Copy !req
75. You know, we are once again
at a point in our historyCopy !req
76. where the fly-swatting
hand of governmentCopy !req
77. is crushing the spirit
of entrepreneurship...Copy !req
78. Taxes,
OSHA requirements,Copy !req
79. the INS poking
their big, fat noseCopy !req
80. into every
mother-loving hire.Copy !req
81. It's damned oppressive.Copy !req
82. It's tragic.Copy !req
83. It's un-American.Copy !req
84. Jim, I think you are
just the lawyer I need,Copy !req
85. 'cause I got me a case...Copy !req
86. Major... I say,
a major case.Copy !req
87. Are you ready
to clear your calendar?Copy !req
88. (SIGHS)
Ricky, I'm all ears.Copy !req
89. I want to secede
from the United States.Copy !req
90. Now, I got 1,100 acres
of property here,Copy !req
91. self-sustaining
with solar power and wells,Copy !req
92. a sovereign state immune
to the business-killing
regulationsCopy !req
93. of the country in which
it geographically lies.Copy !req
94. We are going to be
America's Vatican City.Copy !req
95. Ricky...Copy !req
96. I'm your man.Copy !req
97. Yeah, let's do this.Copy !req
98. Let's show 'em all.Copy !req
99. Yee-haw!Copy !req
100. Yee-haw!Copy !req
101. Yee-haw!
(LAUGHS)Copy !req
102. Yes!
We are doing this!Copy !req
103. Ah.Copy !req
104. Now, it's not
gonna be easy, sir.Copy !req
105. I mean, the government
is gonna fight us
tooth and nail.Copy !req
106. We could end up
in the Supreme Court...Copy !req
107. I'm talking thousands
of man-hours...Copy !req
108. I mean,
years of effort.Copy !req
109. Are you ready
for that?Copy !req
110. Me?Copy !req
111. I say bring 'em on.Copy !req
112. Let's talk turkey.Copy !req
113. What's your rate?Copy !req
114. $450 an hour.Copy !req
115. The hell with hourly.Copy !req
116. I want you on retainer.Copy !req
117. How about
$1 million even?Copy !req
118. $500,000 up front
and $500,000
when we're done?Copy !req
119. A million?
(CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
120. That seems... Fair.Copy !req
121. Would you like that
in cash?Copy !req
122. Uh...Copy !req
123. Well...Copy !req
124. Tax-free and backed by
the full faith and creditCopy !req
125. of the sovereign
Sandia Republic.Copy !req
126. It's, uh...Copy !req
127. Son, you are getting in
on the ground floor.Copy !req
128. Mr. McGill, hi.Copy !req
129. Thanks so much
for coming.Copy !req
130. Roland Jaycocks.
Roland.Copy !req
131. Hey, Roland.
Great to meet you.Copy !req
132. You can call me Jimmy.
Jimmy, absolutely.Copy !req
133. Uh, hello.
Please, come on in.Copy !req
134. Oh, well, thank you.Copy !req
135. God, what was it like
climbing that billboard?Copy !req
136. Must have been
pretty scary, huh?Copy !req
137. Guy needed help,
that's all.Copy !req
138. You know,
if I could do it,
anybody could.Copy !req
139. Well,
my hat is off to you.Copy !req
140. So, here we are.Copy !req
141. And patent law
is something you...Copy !req
142. Oh, yeah. In fact,
I do so many patent cases,Copy !req
143. I should probably
just go ahead
and specialize already.Copy !req
144. (CHUCKLES)
So, what do we got?Copy !req
145. Uh, I feel silly
asking this.
Yeah.Copy !req
146. But before I show you
my invention,Copy !req
147. would you mind signing
a non-disclosure agreement?Copy !req
148. You got it.
No problem.Copy !req
149. It's my idea
of a lifetime.Copy !req
150. If Fisher-Price
or Playskool ever
got their hands on this...Copy !req
151. No worries.Copy !req
152. You ready?Copy !req
153. I may have seen
one of these before.Copy !req
154. Not like this.Copy !req
155. This one has this
little unit I've added.Copy !req
156. This is my invention.Copy !req
157. Do you have children?
No.Copy !req
158. My wife and I
have two boys...
Four and six.Copy !req
159. And let me tell you...
Toilet-training them?Copy !req
160. Nightmare, both times.Copy !req
161. They just didn't want to
use the commode.Copy !req
162. So I wired a motion sensor
to a voice chip,Copy !req
163. and, well, no sense
getting all technical,Copy !req
164. but it's all about
positive reinforcement.Copy !req
165. Meet Tony
the toilet buddy.Copy !req
166. And when you sit down
to do your business,Copy !req
167. this is how he works.Copy !req
168. (MALE AUTOMATED VOICE)
Oh, yeah, that's the way!Copy !req
169. Gosh, you're big!Copy !req
170. You're so big!Copy !req
171. My goodness!Copy !req
172. Look at you!Copy !req
173. Fill me up, Chandler!Copy !req
174. Put it in me!Copy !req
175. Chandler's my youngest...
Loves it.Copy !req
176. Huh.Copy !req
177. Give it to me, Chandler!
I want it all!Copy !req
178. Mmm!Copy !req
179. Ahh!Copy !req
180. Anyway,
it goes on from there.Copy !req
181. You get the picture.Copy !req
182. Yeah, I, uh...Copy !req
183. Yeah.Copy !req
184. So,
what do you think?Copy !req
185. It's a little sexual,
maybe?Copy !req
186. Sexual? What...
What does that...Copy !req
187. Suggestive, maybe?Copy !req
188. Maybe that's a better word.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
189. Look, I'm not...Copy !req
190. I'm not saying this thing
won't make you rich.Copy !req
191. I mean, some of your
wealthier Pacific Rim
nations,Copy !req
192. they'll love this,
the crazy bastards.Copy !req
193. I created this
for children.Copy !req
194. Children, understand?Copy !req
195. Well, hey, Viagra
was originally invented
to treat hypertension.Copy !req
196. Look how that turned out.Copy !req
197. You're completely disgusting,
you know that?Copy !req
198. Hey, buddy, you're the one
with the sex toilet.Copy !req
199. Get off my property!Copy !req
200. Hey, you know what?Copy !req
201. I hope you do
make a fortune,Copy !req
202. 'cause Chandler's
gonna need it to help
pay for his therapy!Copy !req
203. I found
the Alpine Shepherd Boy!Copy !req
204. No, no.
You just stay put.Copy !req
205. I'll be right over.Copy !req
206. Oh.Copy !req
207. Now, where were we?Copy !req
208. Oh, would you like
some more tea?Copy !req
209. No! No, thank you.
I'm... I'm fine.Copy !req
210. Now, the Shepherd Boy
Hummel,Copy !req
211. that's gonna go to
your nephew Clarence?Copy !req
212. As long as he
finishes college.
Okay.Copy !req
213. If he drops out,
it goes to my niece
Raylene.Copy !req
214. But then, Raylene doesn't
get the girl...Copy !req
215. The girl with the geese.
Mmm.Copy !req
216. Yeah. No, then that would go
to your cousin Helen...Copy !req
217. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
218. so long as she never
remarries Frederick?Copy !req
219. Exactly.
Yeah.Copy !req
220. And no matter what,
I want the towheaded twinsCopy !req
221. to go to Reverend Lawrence's
grandson.Copy !req
222. Um, don't you mean
Reverend Hanes?Copy !req
223. 'Cause Reverend Lawrence's
grandson is going to getCopy !req
224. the, uh, lute-playing angel,
'cause he was in the choir.Copy !req
225. Very sharp, Mr. McGill.Copy !req
226. And here I thought
all lawyers were idiots.Copy !req
227. (CHUCKLES) No,
only half of us are idiots.Copy !req
228. The other half
are crooks.Copy !req
229. Aren't you a spicy one?
Well...Copy !req
230. If I were
40 years younger,Copy !req
231. I'd have you buy me
a Pina Colada.Copy !req
232. Well, if you want me
to draw up a DNR,Copy !req
233. I'll bring a blender
and some pineapple.Copy !req
234. (BOTH LAUGH)
I knew I'd like youCopy !req
235. when I saw how you
saved that poor man
on the television.Copy !req
236. Well...Copy !req
237. Moxie is in such
short supply these days.Copy !req
238. (SIGHS) Yeah.Copy !req
239. Well, I pride myself
on my moxie.Copy !req
240. Now,
I hate to do this,Copy !req
241. but I do need to bring up
my payment.Copy !req
242. Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
And I'm sorry,Copy !req
243. but I can't accept
S&H Green Stamps.Copy !req
244. Now, uh,
my fee is $140.Copy !req
245. $140?Copy !req
246. I'll gladly accept
$70 todayCopy !req
247. and $70 when I come backCopy !req
248. with the completed
documents, if...Copy !req
249. $20, $40, $60...Copy !req
250. $80,Copy !req
251. $100...Copy !req
252. And $20, $40.Copy !req
253. Uh... Okay.Copy !req
254. Shall we continue,
Mr. McGill?Copy !req
255. Yes. Yes, we shall,
Mrs. Strauss.Copy !req
256. Put it on the nail,
not the skin.Copy !req
257. I can't help it
if your toes are too small.Copy !req
258. They should all be
the same size...Copy !req
259. The size of
the big toe.Copy !req
260. That one I can do.Copy !req
261. Yeah, that would
be attractive.Copy !req
262. So...
How's it go again?Copy !req
263. (IMITATING TONY
THE TOILET BUDDY)
Oh, you're huge, Chandler!Copy !req
264. You're a big, big boy!Copy !req
265. Oh, where does it end?Copy !req
266. Oh, don't stop, Chandler!Copy !req
267. Don't stop!
(LAUGHS)Copy !req
268. Oh, here it comes!Copy !req
269. Oh, what is that?Copy !req
270. Is that a piece of corn?
(LAUGHING) No, don't.Copy !req
271. Did you eat corn,
Chandler?Copy !req
272. Is that a niblet I see,
Chandler?
That's disgusting.Copy !req
273. No, don't.
(NORMAL VOICE)
Too much?Copy !req
274. Hey, good times.Copy !req
275. Oh, even your lousy daysCopy !req
276. are more interesting
than my good ones.Copy !req
277. Yeah, well,
we should definitely
do something about that.Copy !req
278. Seriously, don't ever try
to make a living at this.Copy !req
279. Stick with the law.Copy !req
280. Yeah,
because I'm really...Copy !req
281. lighting the world on fire
in that department.Copy !req
282. Did two wills today.Copy !req
283. Two wills,
and I started a living trust.Copy !req
284. Whoopee!
Old people love me.Copy !req
285. Maybe you got a future
in elder law.Copy !req
286. You think I could handle
all that glamour?Copy !req
287. No, I'm serious.Copy !req
288. I... I've thought
about getting into
elder law myself.Copy !req
289. I watched my grandmother
at the end. It's...Copy !req
290. It's awful what people
have to deal with...Copy !req
291. Insurance companies,Copy !req
292. my scumbag cousins
stealing her savings
and her pain meds.Copy !req
293. Getting old sucks.Copy !req
294. Seniors need
someone on their side.Copy !req
295. It's Howard.Copy !req
296. What the hell
does he want?Copy !req
297. Shh!
(CELLPHONE BEEPS)Copy !req
298. Hi, Howard.Copy !req
299. Uh, no.
I mean, I haven't, uh...Copy !req
300. Oh, my God. When?Copy !req
301. Yeah, okay.
I'll see if I can, um,
track Jimmy down.Copy !req
302. I'll call you back.
Sure.Copy !req
303. It's Chuck.Copy !req
304. Chuck.Copy !req
305. (DISTORTED)
Chuck, you with me?Copy !req
306. Chuck, hey, buddy.
It's me.Copy !req
307. Hey, can you talk to me?
Jim...Copy !req
308. Jesus Christ.
These sons of bitches.Copy !req
309. Hey, hey.
Sir, you can't do that.Copy !req
310. All of this
needs to stay on.Copy !req
311. No, no.
No electricity.
You understand?Copy !req
312. No, it needs to be on.
I'm getting security.Copy !req
313. No, uh, wait, wait.Copy !req
314. Wait, wait. Uh, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
315. Huh? Why isn't
that one going out?Copy !req
316. Jimmy. Jimmy.
Damn it.Copy !req
317. I just...
Jimmy, wait a second.
Jimmy. Think.Copy !req
318. What's the plan here?
Sir? Sir?Copy !req
319. Sir, I need you
to get down from there.Copy !req
320. What the hell kind of torture
chamber you running here?Copy !req
321. He... He's allergic
to electricity, all right?Copy !req
322. You heard the doc.
Get down now.Copy !req
323. No, all these lights
and machines,Copy !req
324. you might as well
throw him into a microwave.Copy !req
325. Come on down now.
No, don't touch me!Copy !req
326. He is this patient's brother.
Please, listen to him.Copy !req
327. Hey, let's go.
DR. Hey.
Wait, Edwin, hold up.Copy !req
328. Hold on a second, Edwin.Copy !req
329. Sir, are you ready
to calm down now?Copy !req
330. Yes. His name is Jimmy,
and, yes, he is
gonna calm down.Copy !req
331. DR.I need you to
say the words, Jimmy.Copy !req
332. I need to hear it
from you.Copy !req
333. I'm calm, okay?
I'm calm.Copy !req
334. Edwin, why don't you
go wait in the hallway?Copy !req
335. I'll call
if we need you.Copy !req
336. Okay, so, tell me about
the electricity.Copy !req
337. Yeah, look,
I know how it sounds,
but it's real.Copy !req
338. Oh, shit.Copy !req
339. My phone and stuff...
Anything with
a battery in it,Copy !req
340. he can't have it
near him.Copy !req
341. Hang on.Copy !req
342. Here's my phone.
Okay, that's it.Copy !req
343. (BREATHING HEAVILY)
Thanks.Copy !req
344. Okay, what the hell
happened to him?Copy !req
345. Why is he here?
Apparently, it startedCopy !req
346. when Charles stole
his neighbor's newspaper.Copy !req
347. What? He... He never
leaves the house.Copy !req
348. DR.I don't...
I don't have
all the details,Copy !req
349. but the police found him
in a very agitated state.Copy !req
350. He was confrontational
and incoherent.Copy !req
351. How come
you didn't call me?Copy !req
352. Uh, why did I have
to hear about thisCopy !req
353. through my brother's
prick of a law partner?Copy !req
354. The only contact information
we could find was
a business card.Copy !req
355. Jimmy, in my opinion,
Charles should be committedCopy !req
356. for 30 days
of psychiatric observation.Copy !req
357. As a family member,
you can submit a petition
for him to be evaluated.Copy !req
358. There's an excellent
facility in Las Cruces.Copy !req
359. He can be there tomorrow.Copy !req
360. I'd rather not.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)Copy !req
361. Hey, buddy.
Hey, I'm right here.Copy !req
362. Oh, hey, Chuck.Copy !req
363. Excuse me.Copy !req
364. Mr. McGill,
my name is Dr. Cruz.Copy !req
365. Do you know why
you're in the hospital?Copy !req
366. The police
kicked in my door.Copy !req
367. No warrant, no cause.Copy !req
368. I wasn't incoherent.Copy !req
369. They just weren't listening.Copy !req
370. They tasered me, jimmy.Copy !req
371. Aw, Jesus.Copy !req
372. Kim?Copy !req
373. I'm sorry.
I can give you privacy.Copy !req
374. Oh, no, no, no.
That's all right. Stay.Copy !req
375. Howard... called me.Copy !req
376. He's very concerned
about you.Copy !req
377. How are you feeling now,
Mr. McGill?Copy !req
378. Uh, do... Do you have
a phone or a... A pager?Copy !req
379. Anything with a battery?Copy !req
380. I don't think so. I...Copy !req
381. Uh...Copy !req
382. Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
383. Oversight.
Sorry about that.Copy !req
384. Can you tell me
a little more about your...
Situation?Copy !req
385. It's not a situation.Copy !req
386. It's a condition.Copy !req
387. Electromagnetic
hypersensitivity.Copy !req
388. For reasons unknown,Copy !req
389. my nervous system
has become sensitizedCopy !req
390. to certain frequencies
of electromagnetic radiation.Copy !req
391. Your brother called it
an allergy to electricity.Copy !req
392. Well, it's
an oversimplification,Copy !req
393. but it's essentially correct.Copy !req
394. Electronic devices
create their own
electromagnetic fields.Copy !req
395. The closer I am
to such devices,Copy !req
396. the worse my symptoms.Copy !req
397. Which are?Copy !req
398. Burning sensation
on my skin,Copy !req
399. a sharp, cold pain
in my bones,Copy !req
400. muscle fatigue,
heart palpitations,Copy !req
401. blurred vision,
tinnitus,Copy !req
402. vertigo, nausea,
shortness of breath,Copy !req
403. a general...
It hurts.Copy !req
404. Yes, it hurts.Copy !req
405. When did you first
experience these symptoms?Copy !req
406. (SIGHS)
Oh, it must have been...Copy !req
407. You left the office
18 months ago.Copy !req
408. Huh. Well, in that case,
uh, must have been
almost two years.Copy !req
409. Two years?
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
410. That's a...
That's a long time
to live with discomfort.Copy !req
411. Oh, there it is.Copy !req
412. You think I'm crazy.Copy !req
413. I never said that.Copy !req
414. No, you didn't,
because you're very polite,Copy !req
415. but you think it.Copy !req
416. Otherwise,
you wouldn't be
talking about commitment.Copy !req
417. You find that idea
distressing.Copy !req
418. Who the hell wouldn't?Copy !req
419. I... I find it
inappropriateCopy !req
420. for a person suffering
from a physical condition.Copy !req
421. Anyone who's spent more than
a few minutes with meCopy !req
422. knows that this isn't
some kind of delusion.Copy !req
423. Wouldn't you agree, Kim?Copy !req
424. Of course she does.Copy !req
425. Well, I'm not a doctor.Copy !req
426. You've known me for
the better part of a decade.Copy !req
427. Have you ever seen me
exhibit any sign...Copy !req
428. Any sign whatsoever
of mental illness?Copy !req
429. See?Copy !req
430. If I thought for one second
you could cure me,Copy !req
431. believe me,
I'd jump at the chance.Copy !req
432. But with all due respect,Copy !req
433. psychiatry doesn't have
the answers.Copy !req
434. I'd very much like to try.Copy !req
435. Section 43-1-11,
part (E)(3),Copy !req
436. "The proposed commitment
is consistent withCopy !req
437. "the treatment needs
of the clientCopy !req
438. "and with the least
drastic means principle."Copy !req
439. Do you think subjecting me
to this kind of pain
for a monthCopy !req
440. is the least
drastic means?Copy !req
441. He might as well spend
a month in a wood chipper.Copy !req
442. DR.I understand
your frustration. I do.Copy !req
443. You're obviously
a highly intelligent manCopy !req
444. in difficult
circumstances.Copy !req
445. May I ask you a question,
just for my own interest?Copy !req
446. How do you meet the needs
of daily life?Copy !req
447. What do you do
for light, or...Copy !req
448. How do you
prepare food?Copy !req
449. (SIGHS)
I use white-gas lanterns.Copy !req
450. For cooking,
I have a camp stove.Copy !req
451. I have a large cooler
I keep filled with ice.Copy !req
452. It's not ideal,
but I make do.Copy !req
453. I see.Copy !req
454. Well, thank you.Copy !req
455. Would you mind
if I took a momentCopy !req
456. to speak with
your brother?Copy !req
457. Oh, uh, make sure
you still have your
wallet when you're done.Copy !req
458. (CHUCKLES)
Funny guy.Copy !req
459. Jimmy.Copy !req
460. (SIGHS)
I want to go home.Copy !req
461. That was
a dirty trick.Copy !req
462. That wasn't a trick.
It was a demonstration.Copy !req
463. This allergy to
electricity isn't real.Copy !req
464. It's a manifestation
of something deeper.Copy !req
465. I'm not saying
it's 100% real, okay?Copy !req
466. But Chuck is smarter than
you and me put together,Copy !req
467. so we're not
talking him out of this,Copy !req
468. and I'm not sending him
to a rubber room.Copy !req
469. No one is talking about
rubber rooms.Copy !req
470. There are specialists
who will...Copy !req
471. He's seen specialists,
okay?Copy !req
472. The best doctors
from here to Denver,Copy !req
473. and none of them helped,
not one.Copy !req
474. So you're ready
to give up.Copy !req
475. (SCOFFS)
Who's giving up, huh?Copy !req
476. I'm... I'm the one doing
the heavy lifting here.Copy !req
477. That white gas
he was talking about?Copy !req
478. Who do you think
brings him that?Copy !req
479. And milk and bread
and toilet paperCopy !req
480. and ice and every other
damn thing he needs.Copy !req
481. Is that helping
or enabling?Copy !req
482. If you testify
in a custodial hearing,Copy !req
483. he can get
the help he needs.Copy !req
484. That's in your power.Copy !req
485. To be committed
involuntarily,Copy !req
486. he has to be a danger
to himself or others.Copy !req
487. And he is.Copy !req
488. Coleman lanterns indoors,
a camp stove?Copy !req
489. I mean, he could burn
his house downCopy !req
490. or the entire
neighborhood,Copy !req
491. and then you're looking
at a commitment of
10 to 20 years.Copy !req
492. What if...Copy !req
493. What if he just
hurts himself in
a household accident?Copy !req
494. How does he call
for help?Copy !req
495. You have the power
to help your brother...Copy !req
496. Truly help him.Copy !req
497. Ignoring this
won't make it go away.Copy !req
498. What would you do?Copy !req
499. All I know is...Copy !req
500. He needs help.Copy !req
501. Untie him.Copy !req
502. I'm getting him
out of here.Copy !req
503. A nurse will bring you
the release forms.Copy !req
504. Oh, boy.Copy !req
505. Jimmy. Jimmy.
I found him.Copy !req
506. I thought I'd wait
till you got here.Copy !req
507. Great.
How's he doing?Copy !req
508. Better. Resting.Copy !req
509. Good.Copy !req
510. Uh, Jimmy...Copy !req
511. I want you to know that
I've talked to the DA,Copy !req
512. and he absolutely
will not sign off on
any commitment papers.Copy !req
513. This is
a physical condition,
not a mental one.Copy !req
514. Chuck is of sound mind.Copy !req
515. I think we can all
agree on that.Copy !req
516. You're a real peach,
Howard.Copy !req
517. Of course you don't want
Chuck committed.Copy !req
518. No, I don't.
Why would I?Copy !req
519. Because if Chuck
were committed,Copy !req
520. then I'd become
his legal guardian,Copy !req
521. and I cash him
out of HHM.Copy !req
522. Jesus, Jimmy.
Now?Copy !req
523. You want to hash that out
while he's lying in here?Copy !req
524. You know,
the tanning bed must
have melted your brainCopy !req
525. if you think
for one second...Copy !req
526. Guys... Chuck.
That's why we're here.Copy !req
527. Yes. Let's stay on point.Copy !req
528. We're talking about
the well-being of a manCopy !req
529. whom we all
love very much.Copy !req
530. There's many
factors at play.Copy !req
531. Spite doesn't have
to be one of them.Copy !req
532. You know what,
Howard?Copy !req
533. I was on the fence
till you showed up,Copy !req
534. but thanks for
helping me decide.Copy !req
535. Wave bye-bye
to your cash cow,Copy !req
536. 'cause it's leaving
the pasture.Copy !req
537. I'm committing him.Copy !req
538. Jimmy. Uh... Wait.Copy !req
539. Jimmy, wait. Jimmy.Copy !req
540. Jimmy, can you wait?Copy !req
541. Jimmy,
wait a second.Copy !req
542. Listen, I agree
that Chuck needs help,Copy !req
543. and maybe it's
the right thing to do,Copy !req
544. but you can't
do it like this.Copy !req
545. I just want to see
that son of a bitch sweat.Copy !req
546. It's so obvious
what he's afraid of.Copy !req
547. I'm taking
my brother home.Copy !req
548. There you go, buddy.Copy !req
549. Yeah. There you go.Copy !req
550. Okay, some steps.
One and two.Copy !req
551. And there you go.Copy !req
552. Hey, you're home,
all right?Copy !req
553. Everything's
gonna be all right.Copy !req
554. Uh, you want
something to eat?Copy !req
555. Uh, some tea?
A cup of tea?Copy !req
556. Coffee?
(SIGHS) Yeah.Copy !req
557. Coffee.
Coffee it is.Copy !req
558. Uh, Jimmy, I'm... I'm...
I'm gonna need my...Copy !req
559. I don't...
(STAMMERING) I...Copy !req
560. Oh, it's...Copy !req
561. Yeah.Copy !req
562. You want to
talk about this?Copy !req
563. There's nothing
to talk about.
You took the paper.Copy !req
564. You saw this.Copy !req
565. You got sick.Copy !req
566. What's your point?Copy !req
567. Chuck, I think
you got sick 'cause
you saw this story.Copy !req
568. No, whenever you think
I've done something wrong,Copy !req
569. something questionable,
you get worse.Copy !req
570. I didn't get sick
because I read about you
in the paper.Copy !req
571. I got sick because I
went out of my house
to retrieve the paper.Copy !req
572. I'm too tired
for this argument, Jimmy.Copy !req
573. I've had it
too many times.Copy !req
574. You think this is
the return of
Slippin' Jimmy,Copy !req
575. but it's not.Copy !req
576. All right.Copy !req
577. Uh, you think
the billboard thing
was unethical,Copy !req
578. but it was...
Promotion.Copy !req
579. It was advertising,
that's all.Copy !req
580. Which wasn't even
allowed until five
Supreme Court justicesCopy !req
581. went completely bonkers
in Bates versus
State Bar of Arizona.Copy !req
582. A-ha!
But in any event...Copy !req
583. It's legal.Copy !req
584. If you want to advertise,
that's your business.Copy !req
585. "Business" being
the operative word there,
Chuck,Copy !req
586. because I have gotten
business off of this...Copy !req
587. Legit business!
Wills, uh, trusts.Copy !req
588. Uh, I'm...
I'm kind of starting to
specialize in elder law.Copy !req
589. Elder law?Copy !req
590. Yeah, the things
the elderly have to
deal with...Copy !req
591. I mean, you know,
relatives coming
after their savings,Copy !req
592. telemarketers,
reverse-mortgage scams...Copy !req
593. I mean,
getting old sucks.Copy !req
594. Seniors need someone
on their side, so...Copy !req
595. You're looking at him.Copy !req
596. Well, that sounds...Copy !req
597. Promising.Copy !req
598. But it has nothing to do
with my condition.Copy !req
599. Chuck, listen.
I'm gonna make you
a promise right now, okay?Copy !req
600. No, not necessary,
not requested.
Okay.Copy !req
601. The billboard
was a one-time thing.Copy !req
602. I... I'm a good lawyer.Copy !req
603. I just needed some
razzmatazz, you know,Copy !req
604. to get the ball rolling,
some showmanship.Copy !req
605. That's all it was.Copy !req
606. It's done now.
It's over.
All right.Copy !req
607. From here on out,
I'm gonna play by the rules.Copy !req
608. As any lawyer should.
Exactly.Copy !req
609. There are clients
out there who need me,Copy !req
610. and I'm gonna give them
the best representationCopy !req
611. I know how to provide.Copy !req
612. I'm on
the up-and-up, okay?Copy !req
613. I will be good.Copy !req
614. Slippin' Jimmy...Copy !req
615. He's back in Cicero,
dead and buried.Copy !req
616. (INHALES DEEPLY) Okay.Copy !req
617. We'll see.Copy !req
618. Where you going?Copy !req
619. Somebody's got to
make that coffee.Copy !req
620. I'm sure the truth
will come out,Copy !req
621. if, indeed, that's what
we're all interested in.Copy !req
622. I know everybody
in this courtroom
has strong feelingsCopy !req
623. about
Nicholas Baron's past,Copy !req
624. but I submit he is
not on trial here
for his past.Copy !req
625. He is on trial
for the murders
of Donald KovackCopy !req
626. and Eddie Alonzo.Copy !req
627. Single-breasted...Copy !req
628. Light blue or cream.Copy !req
629. Blue.Copy !req
630. Linen.Copy !req
631. Single pocket.Copy !req
632. Hello, there.Copy !req
633. James McGill,
attorney at law.Copy !req
634. How are you
this fine morning?Copy !req
635. I'm just fine.
And how about you?Copy !req
636. Very good.Copy !req
637. Play fair.Copy !req
638. Oh, what do we got here?Copy !req
639. (STRAINING) I see.Copy !req
640. A piece is trying
to get away.Copy !req
641. Enjoy the Jell-O.Copy !req
642. Get to the bottom.Copy !req
643. Wait.
Who's the banker here?Copy !req
644. That's the only one
I want to talk to.
There he is.Copy !req
645. Hey.
How are you?Copy !req
646. I'm good. Whoa!
What a grip, young man!Copy !req
647. Yeah, watch out.
That's my
will-writing hand.Copy !req
648. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
Okay.Copy !req
649. Hello, ladies.
You look beautiful today.Copy !req
650. All right over there?Copy !req
651. Very good. Play fair.Copy !req
652. Ah, no betting.Copy !req
653. Oh, wait a second.
Is that Veronica Lake?Copy !req
654. Give me a hug, beautiful.Copy !req
655. Yes. You look great today.Copy !req
656. All right, no cheating.
No hiding the tablet.Copy !req
657. Oh, what do we
have here?Copy !req
658. Hey, there he is.
The man in the booth.Copy !req
659. John Wilkes Booth,
Booth Tarkington.Copy !req
660. What you reading there?Copy !req
661. The Complete Annotated
Book of Rules
for Parking Validation?Copy !req
662. No.Copy !req
663. The rules for
parking validation are
actually pretty simple.Copy !req
664. Most people get it
on the first try.Copy !req
665. Well, you'll be pleased
to knowCopy !req
666. I have
the requisite stickers.Copy !req
667. Well,
be still my heart.Copy !req
668. And...Copy !req
669. You can have this,
as well.Copy !req
670. I'm doing elder law now.Copy !req
671. Need a Will?
Call McGill!Copy !req
672. So, give me a call
if you, uh...Copy !req
673. Uh, if, uh, you happen
to know any elders.Copy !req
674. Good night.Copy !req
675. Couldn't have a bad one
if I tried.Copy !req
676. Good night.
Night.Copy !req
677. (ON TV)
Out here in the hall
and everything?Copy !req
678. Don't be so silly.Copy !req
679. Well,
there's nobody around.Copy !req
680. Oh, but you never
can tell when
there's someone around.Copy !req
681. Then I'll come in.Copy !req
682. Oh, no, Dan,
I wouldn't come in
if I were you.Copy !req
683. Really, we're going
to be awfully late.Copy !req
684. Well, don't be
bashful, Lucy.Copy !req
685. Well, I'm not bashful, but
I've never kissed you before,Copy !req
686. and I don't think
this is exactly the place.Copy !req
687. Gosh, if you knew
how crazy I am about you,Copy !req
688. you wouldn't hesitate...
I can't sleep nights.Copy !req
689. Oh, why don't you
take some hot milk?Copy !req
690. I guess I must
be in love,
'cause it started right...Copy !req
691. Long way from home,
aren't you?Copy !req
692. You and me both.Copy !req