1. Works every...
I'm telling you,Copy !req
2. every time.
Do it. Try it.Copy !req
3. What, right now?
All right, all right.Copy !req
4. Kind of that.
Better work on it, bro.Copy !req
5. All right, man.
Seriously.Copy !req
6. All right,
bro, I'll work on it.Copy !req
7. But, just tell me,
when do you...Copy !req
8. You know...
Right before the cork pops.Copy !req
9. You know,
timing's important, but...Copy !req
10. But you don't do it,
like, in her ear?Copy !req
11. No, you don't do it
in her ear.
Yeah.Copy !req
12. It's a given
you don't do it
in her ear.Copy !req
13. This is, like,
scientifically proven,
okay?Copy !req
14. Really?
This is,
like, prehistoric stuff.Copy !req
15. It's like the medulla.
Crazy, man. (CHUCKLES)Copy !req
16. The wolf brain.
The what?Copy !req
17. It's primitive stuff.
Okay.Copy !req
18. All right,
let me try it again.Copy !req
19. Yeah!
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
20. Yeah?
That's the wolf brain!
Nice.Copy !req
21. Man, this town sucks.Copy !req
22. Sorry, bro,
I know it's yours
and everything,Copy !req
23. but it's not even 2:00.Copy !req
24. Yeah,
it does kind of suck.Copy !req
25. Hey, I know this
after-hours place,Copy !req
26. over a couple
blocks off Cermak.
Yeah?Copy !req
27. You wanna hit it?
Hells yeah!
Let's do it.Copy !req
28. That's what
I'm talking about.Copy !req
29. Whoo.Copy !req
30. (STEVIE HOWLING)
Okay.Copy !req
31. Not in her ear, right?
All right,
not in her ear.Copy !req
32. Hey, bro, I never did
catch your name.Copy !req
33. Saul. (CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
34. Saul?Copy !req
35. S'all good, man.
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
36. Get it?
I do! All right, Saul.Copy !req
37. Hey, hey, brother. Whoa.Copy !req
38. Check it out. What is that?Copy !req
39. Holy shit!Copy !req
40. There's gotta be at least
1,000 bucks in here, man.Copy !req
41. My God,
look at that.Copy !req
42. Whose is it?
Mine.Copy !req
43. Hey, possession's
four-tenths of the
what-do-you-call-it, bro.Copy !req
44. Is there an ID, or...
Yeah.Copy !req
45. I don't know,
some fat guy.Copy !req
46. Uh.Copy !req
47. I'm thinking that one.Copy !req
48. Jesus. Is he...Copy !req
49. What?
Is he...Copy !req
50. I don't know.Copy !req
51. Hey! Hey, fella,
you all right?Copy !req
52. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, buddy!Copy !req
53. Hey, would you answer me?Copy !req
54. Hey, answer this,
you butthole.Copy !req
55. "Butthole"?
What the hell?Copy !req
56. Hey, bro?
Be nice, all right?Copy !req
57. This guy right here
is just trying
to help you.Copy !req
58. Help yourself
to some of this,
you butthole.Copy !req
59. Hey!
Hey, we're not
buttholes, all right?Copy !req
60. So, stop saying that.
♪ Butt, buttholeCopy !req
61. Hey, man,
what's your problem?Copy !req
62. My problem is
I'm standing hereCopy !req
63. talking to
a couple of buttholes.Copy !req
64. Actually,
you're not standing,
you fat bastard.Copy !req
65. You're laying
on your fat ass.Copy !req
66. Hey, I'll roundhouse
kick you right
in your head.Copy !req
67. You think I won't?Copy !req
68. I'll come to the McDonald's
where you work,Copy !req
69. I'll buy the
whole damn place,
and I'll fire you.Copy !req
70. I'll say, "Drop your mops,
you buttholes,
'cause you're fired."Copy !req
71. And then I'll
roundhouse kick you
right in your stupid heads.Copy !req
72. I'll go
Jean-Claude Van Damme
on you.Copy !req
73. Butthole.Copy !req
74. I'm keeping the money.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
75. Here you go, fatty.Copy !req
76. I got dibs on that watch,
man.Copy !req
77. Let me see that.Copy !req
78. What kind is it?Copy !req
79. I don't know,
it's just a watch.Copy !req
80. I gotta get
out of here, man.
Whoa, whoa, whoo, whoo!Copy !req
81. What kind of
watch is it?Copy !req
82. It's, I don't know...Copy !req
83. Well, then let me
look at it.Copy !req
84. It's a damn Rolex.Copy !req
85. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
86. Not cool to be greedy, bro.
Not cool.Copy !req
87. I didn't know what...Copy !req
88. So how you
wanna split this up?Copy !req
89. I'll tell you what,
you keep the cash,Copy !req
90. I'll just keep
the watch.Copy !req
91. It's worth 3 grand, man!
$3,000, easy.Copy !req
92. No. (SCOFFS)
Yeah.Copy !req
93. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
94. Come on now,
let's figure this out,
get out of here.Copy !req
95. All right, you're right.
You know what?Copy !req
96. I will sweeten the pot.Copy !req
97. Add a five,
20, 40, 60, 80...Copy !req
98. 580 bucks,
add that to the thousand,
it's more than half.Copy !req
99. What do you know
about that thing?Copy !req
100. I mean, is it worth
more than three?Copy !req
101. No, I don't know,
but we're good, right?Copy !req
102. Yeah, we good? Okay?Copy !req
103. Later, sucker!
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
104. Six left.Copy !req
105. Can we get more?Copy !req
106. God, I hope so.Copy !req
107. It's like
a license to print money.Copy !req
108. Thing of beauty.
(LAUGHING)Copy !req
109. Hey, what was that
crazy stuff about
roundhouse kicks?Copy !req
110. Where the hell'd
you get that?Copy !req
111. I don't know, man,
just something in
my brain, you know?Copy !req
112. It just came out.Copy !req
113. Too much?
No. I loved it.Copy !req
114. It was like, deep,
or something.Copy !req
115. You wanna talk
about brilliant,
I mean...Copy !req
116. You're the man.
Me, I'm just...Copy !req
117. I love watching
you work, man.Copy !req
118. It's good for
making beer money,
that's about all.Copy !req
119. Please.
No one has to know.Copy !req
120. You could just pretend
you didn't find us.Copy !req
121. We would never tell anyone,
would we, Craig?Copy !req
122. No, absolutely not.Copy !req
123. I already called
your lawyer.Copy !req
124. Besides,
this little family
outing of yours?Copy !req
125. It's put an innocent man
in jail.Copy !req
126. The cops are
investigating this
as a kidnapping.Copy !req
127. They already rounded up
some poor suspect.Copy !req
128. A working-class guy.
A father.Copy !req
129. I think, but...Copy !req
130. Anyway, you two?
You almost
ruined someone's life.Copy !req
131. Potentially
several someones.Copy !req
132. I... We had no idea.Copy !req
133. Could this have been
the person in the van?Copy !req
134. What if the man they
arrested is the one we
were warned about?Copy !req
135. Yeah, maybe he's not
so innocent. Hmm?Copy !req
136. Warned? Warned how?Copy !req
137. We had a phone call.Copy !req
138. Someone disguising
their voice.Copy !req
139. They said someone
was coming for us.Copy !req
140. And there was a van
outside the house,Copy !req
141. as if whoever was inside
was watching us.Copy !req
142. Mmm-hmm.
And once that drove off,Copy !req
143. we did what we did.Copy !req
144. For the kids.
The kids.Copy !req
145. (STAMMERS)
I wouldn't know
about any of that,Copy !req
146. I just... (CLEARS THROAT)
I can assure youCopy !req
147. that you and your
family are safe.Copy !req
148. I mean, the police
are all over this thing,
so...Copy !req
149. It doesn't matter.
We can't just go back.
I mean...Copy !req
150. Our case.
They'll crucify Craig.Copy !req
151. Can't you just call
Ms. Wexler again,Copy !req
152. tell her you
didn't see us after all?Copy !req
153. If they think
I ran away,Copy !req
154. it'll look like I did
something wrong.Copy !req
155. We can't risk
losing everythingCopy !req
156. just because of
some teensy mistake.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
157. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
158. What were you
hoping would happen?
I mean,Copy !req
159. before I found you,
what were you
planning to do?Copy !req
160. (CLEARS THROAT) Well,
we were in the process of,
you know,Copy !req
161. working that out.
We were working that out.Copy !req
162. Yup.Copy !req
163. (SCOFFS) All right,
you still got a little bitCopy !req
164. of maneuverability,
all right?Copy !req
165. You're outdoorsy, right?
So you went on an
impromptu camping trip.Copy !req
166. I don't know.
It's something people do.
Apparently.Copy !req
167. Uh...Copy !req
168. You left the house
a mess,Copy !req
169. and you kicked in
your own front door becauseCopy !req
170. it's a free country.Copy !req
171. Kim Wexler is very good.
She'll make it work.Copy !req
172. What about the money?Copy !req
173. If she knows
about it, she'll tell.Copy !req
174. She'll have to tell.Copy !req
175. Well, like they say
in Silicon Valley,Copy !req
176. "It's not a bug,
it's a feature."Copy !req
177. You ever hear of
a "bargaining chip"?Copy !req
178. Well, what we have
right here isCopy !req
179. the mother of all
bargaining chips.Copy !req
180. As in, you expect us
to give this back?Copy !req
181. We are not
giving this back.Copy !req
182. We are not guilty.
This money belongs to us.Copy !req
183. We... I mean,
Craig earned it.Copy !req
184. I worked very hard.
Yeah.Copy !req
185. You know, weekends,
holidays,Copy !req
186. all unpaid.
All unpaid, always.Copy !req
187. And really,
just because you're salariedCopy !req
188. doesn't mean
you don't deserve overtime.Copy !req
189. I think that's only fair.Copy !req
190. I mean, really,
that's what this
is about, right?Copy !req
191. Fairness.
Fairness, right?Copy !req
192. And not just
what's legal.Copy !req
193. You wanna talk
about legal?Copy !req
194. Slavery.
That used to be legal.Copy !req
195. Human slavery. So...Copy !req
196. Yeah, this is right up there
with that.Copy !req
197. Please, justCopy !req
198. don't tell anyone
about the money.Copy !req
199. I can't take a bribe.Copy !req
200. Who would know?Copy !req
201. We won't tell anyone.
Yeah, take it.Copy !req
202. I can't take it.Copy !req
203. Please. Didn't you say
that you wanted to help us?Copy !req
204. Just pretend you
never saw the money.
How hard is that?Copy !req
205. Take it.Copy !req
206. (STAMMERS)
Take it.Copy !req
207. I can't take a bribe.Copy !req
208. But... (CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
209. You know what I can...
I can take a retainer.Copy !req
210. A retainer?Copy !req
211. Yeah, for my services.Copy !req
212. As your lawyer?Copy !req
213. You're not our lawyer.
Well, not yet.Copy !req
214. Look, I know that HHM
is shiny and it's slickCopy !req
215. and it's chock-full
of lawyers and,
compared to them,Copy !req
216. I'm like
a kiddie lemonade standCopy !req
217. trying to
compete with Walmart,Copy !req
218. but here's the thing.Copy !req
219. What are you gonna
get from meCopy !req
220. that you're not gonna get
from those other guys?Copy !req
221. Passion. Commitment.Copy !req
222. Ask yourself this.
Who found you?Copy !req
223. (SCOFFS)
I don't see
Howard Hamlin ruiningCopy !req
224. his $300 Gucci
loafers out here.Copy !req
225. If you're with me,
you're my number-one client.Copy !req
226. Morning, noon, or night,
you call me, I'm there.Copy !req
227. I would be
singularly devoted to you.Copy !req
228. Why not?Copy !req
229. I'm sorry.Copy !req
230. You're just...Copy !req
231. "Just?" I'm what?Copy !req
232. You're the kind of lawyer
guilty people hire.Copy !req
233. Did it make the paper?Copy !req
234. What?
Did it make the paper?Copy !req
235. Did what
make the paper?Copy !req
236. Okay, well,Copy !req
237. probably missed the deadline,
but check it out
tomorrow morning.Copy !req
238. Front page. The Kettlemans,Copy !req
239. all four of them,
safe and sound.Copy !req
240. Looks like you called it.Copy !req
241. Yeah.Copy !req
242. Camping, you know?Copy !req
243. Pretty much right
in their own backyard.Copy !req
244. Well, five miles above it.
Jesus.Copy !req
245. The night I had.
I got pine nuts
in my shoes.Copy !req
246. But, I mean,
can you believe it?Copy !req
247. I guess you can.
It's just, you know...Copy !req
248. You assume that
criminals are gonna be
smarter than they are.Copy !req
249. I don't know.
Kind of breaks
my heart a little.Copy !req
250. Not the loquacious sort,
are you?Copy !req
251. We can't all be
as blessed as you.Copy !req
252. Well, thanks for your help.Copy !req
253. Don't mention it.Copy !req
254. And, uh, if you ever need
any assistance...Copy !req
255. Wow, wow.
Why is my client
in handcuffs?Copy !req
256. This man is innocent.Copy !req
257. He's a victim.
Why on earth
would he be cuffed?Copy !req
258. Go ahead, take them off,
there you go.Copy !req
259. Free at last!Copy !req
260. Hey, did he tell
you the good news?Copy !req
261. Never even kidnapped.
How about that?Copy !req
262. A family can't go
on a little vacationCopy !req
263. without the whole city
going on lockdown?Copy !req
264. By the way,
where is your partner?Copy !req
265. What, did you lose
the coin toss?Copy !req
266. Because we expect an apology
from him, as well as you.Copy !req
267. You really don't wanna
push your luck
with me, scumbag.Copy !req
268. You got eyes on you,
asshole.Copy !req
269. One little slip.
Just one.Copy !req
270. Yeah, well,
you're both very pretty,
so...Copy !req
271. (SIGHS) Well.Copy !req
272. (CLEARS THROAT) I believe
I did more than
what you asked of me,Copy !req
273. so that would
make us square, yes?Copy !req
274. Great.Copy !req
275. You need a ride?Copy !req
276. Camping?Copy !req
277. You expect me to
believe that shit?Copy !req
278. Yeah, I know,Copy !req
279. the things people do, uh?Copy !req
280. They decide to go
camping right after
I run my little offer by you?Copy !req
281. Could be argued
that all of life
is one great coincidence.Copy !req
282. Somebody told those people
to go camping.Copy !req
283. Somebody warned them.Copy !req
284. (CLEARS THROAT)
They're very woodsy.Copy !req
285. And between you and me,Copy !req
286. they're pretty
rash when it comes
to the decision making.Copy !req
287. They're not really
the plan-ahead types.Copy !req
288. Yeah, I'd cut
the cute attitudeCopy !req
289. right about now,
if I were you.Copy !req
290. You ratted on me.
There will be
consequences.Copy !req
291. Hey, if somebody warned
the Kettlemans,Copy !req
292. it was probably somebody
who was worried
about those kids.Copy !req
293. You know how much trouble
you caused me?Copy !req
294. You didn't need any help
getting caught, okay?Copy !req
295. The neighbor ID'ed you.
You were sloppy.Copy !req
296. Any trouble you might have,
that's on you.Copy !req
297. (SOFTLY) Not to mention
the blood in your van.Copy !req
298. Here's a thought!
Ajax! Formula 409!Copy !req
299. You have no ideaCopy !req
300. the tap-dance
I had to give those copsCopy !req
301. to get you out of here.Copy !req
302. You gave them probable
cause out the wazoo.Copy !req
303. And whoever that
somebody is who may have
warned the Kettlemans,Copy !req
304. got them out of
there before you didCopy !req
305. anything even more stupid.Copy !req
306. You should be thanking
this good Samaritan.Copy !req
307. Because whoever he is,
he did you a favor.Copy !req
308. Okay,
I'm thinking hourly, here.Copy !req
309. Some special circumstances,
so...Copy !req
310. Our elite-tier pricing
will beCopy !req
311. $950 an hour.Copy !req
312. Round it off to 20 hours.
(CLANKING)Copy !req
313. $19,000.Copy !req
314. Plus $1,000 for
travel expenses.Copy !req
315. Consulting fees, $1,500.Copy !req
316. And research.Copy !req
317. Five for filing fees.Copy !req
318. I ate on the road.Copy !req
319. And storage fees.Copy !req
320. Miscellaneous expenses.Copy !req
321. Upon this rock,
I will build my church.Copy !req
322. Double-breasted
or single, sir?Copy !req
323. Single.
And I want you to cut
the armholes high, okay?Copy !req
324. Of course.
And trim through
the middle.Copy !req
325. Trim.Copy !req
326. Cloth?Copy !req
327. Oh, well, wool?Copy !req
328. Yeah.Copy !req
329. Super 170 Tasmanian wool.Copy !req
330. Beautiful choice, sir.Copy !req
331. Thanks.Copy !req
332. Navy, all right?
Yeah.Copy !req
333. Uh... Uh-huh.Copy !req
334. Oh! That's it.
Perfect. Pinstripe.Copy !req
335. Should we
discuss shirts?Copy !req
336. Okay, I'm gonna need
your finest
Sea Island cottonCopy !req
337. with a white club collar
and French cuffs.Copy !req
338. I have the very thing.Copy !req
339. And I'm assuming
you want to see
some ties?Copy !req
340. Yeah, I was picturing
something in
a light blue knit.Copy !req
341. Oh, and could you
make sure those are
real mother of pearl buttonsCopy !req
342. on the shirts, okay?
None of this
fake plastic crap.Copy !req
343. Of course.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
344. Some coffee, David?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
345. Ah! Here we are.Copy !req
346. Shall we?Copy !req
347. Yeah, let's go.Copy !req
348. Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.Copy !req
349. So, what do you think?Copy !req
350. Strawberry Fields Forever?
Hmm.Copy !req
351. No. Are you crazy?
Not even close.Copy !req
352. Yes, it is, look.Copy !req
353. No, no, it's way more
Sassafrass Glow. Way more.Copy !req
354. Use your eyes.Copy !req
355. Strawberry Fields Forever.Copy !req
356. Ladies, back me up, hey!
Is it Sassafrass Glow,
am I right?Copy !req
357. Yeah.Copy !req
358. Maybe Rhapsody in Blonde.
But...Copy !req
359. Yeah, see?
They agree with me.Copy !req
360. Whatever happened
to "the customer
is always right?"Copy !req
361. Sassafrass Glow.
Mix it up, all right?Copy !req
362. You're wrong, you see.Copy !req
363. Big deal. I'll wash it out
in the morning, no biggie.
Jeez.Copy !req
364. It's bleach.
It doesn't wash out.Copy !req
365. What? It's permanent?Copy !req
366. We'll photoshop the color,
okay? (SIGHS)Copy !req
367. Change of plan, ladies.Copy !req
368. I want to go with
a simple curling
iron job, okay?Copy !req
369. Uh, give me, like,
ringlets, you know, on top.Copy !req
370. Like Tony Curtis
in Spartacus. Yeah.Copy !req
371. Like the bath
scene in Spartacus.Copy !req
372. Stop talking about it.
Make me beautiful already.Copy !req
373. (BRITISH ACCENT)
Hello.Copy !req
374. You've reached
the law offices of
James M. McGill, esquire,Copy !req
375. a lawyer you can trust.Copy !req
376. Kindly leave your information
at the tone,Copy !req
377. and Mr. McGill
will phone you promptly.
(BEEPS)Copy !req
378. Hey. It's me. Hi.Copy !req
379. Anyway, The Thing is playing
downtown on Saturday.Copy !req
380. Thought you might be up for
some Kurt Russell action.Copy !req
381. I owe you one,
so why don't we justCopy !req
382. grab some dinner first?
My treat.Copy !req
383. And, uh, you know, if not,Copy !req
384. can you give me a call anyway?
I really want to talk to you.Copy !req
385. Okay. Bye.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)Copy !req
386. Come in.
Hey.Copy !req
387. Hey. Hey!Copy !req
388. How goes it?Copy !req
389. Uh...Copy !req
390. Tricky. For sure.Copy !req
391. Craig and Betsy have
really put us in
a corner with the police.Copy !req
392. Not to mention the press.Copy !req
393. But this camping storyCopy !req
394. of theirs, they've been
keep it consistent,
at least.Copy !req
395. If it's okay with you,
I thinkCopy !req
396. I should try to talk them
into hiring a PR firm.Copy !req
397. Certainly for the next
couple of weeks.Copy !req
398. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
399. So, okay on the PR firm?Copy !req
400. Do you have a minute?
Yeah,Copy !req
401. of course. What's up?Copy !req
402. Take a ride with me.Copy !req
403. Okay. Uh...Copy !req
404. Where are we going?Copy !req
405. Wow!
Yeah.Copy !req
406. Shit.Copy !req
407. Yep.Copy !req
408. That's...Copy !req
409. I mean,
that's my suit, right?Copy !req
410. Am I crazy here?Copy !req
411. No, you're not crazy.Copy !req
412. Look at the logo.
That's our logo.Copy !req
413. He's just
straight-up copying us.Copy !req
414. I mean, what the hell
is he thinking with this?Copy !req
415. Really, he's, you know,
a free spirit.Copy !req
416. That's one way to put it.Copy !req
417. You two are
still friends, right?Copy !req
418. I wouldn't exactly...
You talk, though.Copy !req
419. Not really.Copy !req
420. Still, you're the one
he called when he foundCopy !req
421. the Kettlemans camped
halfway up the Sandias.Copy !req
422. He was just looking out
for his own client,
that's all.Copy !req
423. This isn't
the third degree, Kim.Copy !req
424. I really don't care
one way or the other,
I just...Copy !req
425. He's really
forcing my hand here.Copy !req
426. Hey!
Hey.Copy !req
427. Am I interrupting?Copy !req
428. Not at all.
Perfect timing.
Come on.Copy !req
429. Sit. Have a massage,
free of charge.Copy !req
430. You gotta try
the foot bath, too.Copy !req
431. Oh, yeah. (SIGHS)Copy !req
432. Ah. Give the old dogs
a rest.Copy !req
433. You can go for the deep
tissue setting.
Otherwise...Copy !req
434. Is that the small fist?
Use the...Copy !req
435. It's three arrows.
I did, I pressed it.Copy !req
436. Yeah. Now you feel it?
Good.Copy !req
437. Ah! Now, relax, okay?
Okay.Copy !req
438. You deserve
a break today.Copy !req
439. It's very nice.
Told you.Copy !req
440. I get this free
every night.Copy !req
441. Just one of the perks
of salon living.Copy !req
442. The others being?Copy !req
443. Free cucumber water,
obviously.Copy !req
444. Obviously.
Free mani-pedis?Copy !req
445. Ah!
Deep discount mani-pedis.Copy !req
446. Ah.
Because the ladies
still gotta eat, you know?Copy !req
447. Well, it's still a deal.Copy !req
448. Yeah.Copy !req
449. Living like a king, then?
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
450. What's this?
Is this a cease
and desist?Copy !req
451. Yep.Copy !req
452. How pissed was he?Copy !req
453. Well, his head didn't
actually explode,Copy !req
454. but, you know,
pretty damn pissed.Copy !req
455. Like, "this won't end
well for you" pissed.
Yeah.Copy !req
456. How about that?
Jimmy.Copy !req
457. This is serious.
I know.Copy !req
458. Do you? I mean...
Yes.Copy !req
459. What the hell is
with that billboard?Copy !req
460. I know you have
a problem with Hamlin,
but I...Copy !req
461. I just don't get
your angle here.Copy !req
462. Aren't you trying to build
your own law practice?Copy !req
463. Instead, you're spending
God-knows how much moneyCopy !req
464. turning yourself into
a little Hamlin clone.
I mean...Copy !req
465. Why are you
making this personal?
It's not personal.Copy !req
466. It is so personal.Copy !req
467. It is completely
and totally personal.Copy !req
468. No, no, no, it's not.
Yes, yes, it is.Copy !req
469. Stop trying to pretend.Copy !req
470. I can advertise,
can't I?Copy !req
471. (SCOFFS)
What, do I have
to clear everythingCopy !req
472. past the great
and powerful Howard?Copy !req
473. Yes, you can advertise,
Jimmy. All you want.Copy !req
474. That billboard is
not advertising.Copy !req
475. That is a declaration
of war.Copy !req
476. "Declaration of war,"
that's...Copy !req
477. It's right at Hamlin's exit.
You know he drives by it
every day.Copy !req
478. It's business.
I'm building a brand.Copy !req
479. You're ripping off a brand.Copy !req
480. There is nothing
original in that ad.Copy !req
481. It certainly doesn't
represent Jimmy McGill.Copy !req
482. Hey, all right,
now he fired
the first shot, okay?Copy !req
483. Trying to keep me
from using my name.
My own name,Copy !req
484. Kim...Copy !req
485. I get that.Copy !req
486. But this?Copy !req
487. You're better than this.Copy !req
488. I'm better than this?
I'm better than this?
Yeah, yes.Copy !req
489. I'm better...
Yes, you are.Copy !req
490. Well, you're better
than that schmuck Hamlin!Copy !req
491. Come on, Jimmy.Copy !req
492. You could work anywhere.Copy !req
493. You could be somewhere
where they appreciate you.Copy !req
494. You know, where they see
how valuable you are.
Where, I don't knowCopy !req
495. maybe they care about you.Copy !req
496. Forget it, okay?Copy !req
497. If Hamlin wants
to come after me,
he knows where I am.Copy !req
498. I'll be ready.
Guns blazing.Copy !req
499. The cease and desist
is just the beginning.Copy !req
500. The next step
is an injunction.
You can't win this fight.Copy !req
501. Your Honor,
I'm a humble
solo practitionerCopy !req
502. merely trying
to ply my tradeCopy !req
503. in an aggressive
and evolving marketplace.Copy !req
504. As I've argued
repeatedly,Copy !req
505. this is trademark
infringement.Copy !req
506. Mr. McGill's
new logo is an absolute
copy of ours.Copy !req
507. I think it falls firmly
under fair use.Copy !req
508. "Fair use?"
You're clearly profiting,
so fair use doesn't apply.Copy !req
509. There are only
so many fonts out there.Copy !req
510. Does Mr. Hamlin
outright own them all?Copy !req
511. No, but we've been using
this particular font
for 12 years now.Copy !req
512. And it, in concert with
our tri-rectangle graphic
and Hamlindigo Blue,Copy !req
513. constitutes a trademarked
brand identifier.Copy !req
514. Oh, oh, back up.
"Hamlindigo Blue?"Copy !req
515. Yes, that is our
trademarked name.Copy !req
516. (CHUCKLES) Holy crap.
You seriously named
a color "Hamlindigo?"Copy !req
517. That is... Yikes.Copy !req
518. "Yikes." From the man
dressed exactly like me.Copy !req
519. Your Honor,
I feel like I'm in theCopy !req
520. mirror routine
with Groucho Marx.Copy !req
521. Like we should be standing,
waving our arms
at each other.Copy !req
522. Really?
I don't see it.Copy !req
523. In addition,
the name "McGill"
appears in both logos,Copy !req
524. which I believe
Mr. McGill is hopingCopy !req
525. to further confuse
potential clients.Copy !req
526. So I can't advertise
under my own name, now?Copy !req
527. I'm to be penalized
'cause I happen
to share a nameCopy !req
528. with one of HHM's partners?Copy !req
529. You can't take
my name from me.Copy !req
530. The name is not
the problem here,
Mr. McGill.Copy !req
531. Uh, Mr. Hamlin certainly
seems to think so.
I mean...Copy !req
532. He wants me
to change my nameCopy !req
533. 'cause he claims that, what,Copy !req
534. it's some kind of threat
to his business?Copy !req
535. Your Honor...
This is restraint
of trade, okay?Copy !req
536. Whatever happened
to the free market, uh?Copy !req
537. No. Hamlin here
wants you...Copy !req
538. Okay, enough, Mr. McGill.
I've heard enough.Copy !req
539. All right, yes,
you are within your rightsCopy !req
540. to advertise
using your own name.Copy !req
541. However,
in my estimation,Copy !req
542. the billboard clearly
and intentionally duplicatesCopy !req
543. elements of the
Hamlin Hamlin McGill logo.Copy !req
544. You're actively copying
their established brand
for your own gain.Copy !req
545. I don't see any other
reasonable explanation.Copy !req
546. Your Honor...
Jimmy. Jimmy.Copy !req
547. Wise up.Copy !req
548. The billboard must come down
within 48 hours.Copy !req
549. This is a classic
David vs. Goliath story.Copy !req
550. I mean, you got
your gigantic law firmCopy !req
551. stomping all
over the little guy.Copy !req
552. Yeah, but it's investigative
journalism at its best.Copy !req
553. It's right up your alley.Copy !req
554. Uh-huh.Copy !req
555. Yeah, okay, well,
let me give you my cell
just in case...Copy !req
556. Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
557. Can I get
the news desk, please?Copy !req
558. I got a hot tip.Copy !req
559. Don't you want
to be the station
who brought down big law?Copy !req
560. You could be like
the reporters that
brought down big tobacco.Copy !req
561. Look, I'm talking
Woodward and Bernstein,
here.Copy !req
562. Hey, your expose on predatory
ATM fees, that was, wow!Copy !req
563. Well, it's a miscarriage
of justice,Copy !req
564. and I think your
viewers would be very,Copy !req
565. very interestedCopy !req
566. and grateful to you
for exposing
this injustice.Copy !req
567. I wouldn't characterize this
as a community health risk,Copy !req
568. but it's definitely
in the community interest.Copy !req
569. No, yes, HHM is a pillar
of the community. Yes.Copy !req
570. No, I...
The war is an
important story as well.Copy !req
571. That's why this action
is so egregious!Copy !req
572. Sure. Okay.Copy !req
573. Well, at least consider
the human-interest
angle here.Copy !req
574. Are you kidding?Copy !req
575. Lawyer pulls himself up
by his bootstrapsCopy !req
576. only to be ground
under the heel of the
old money mega-firm?Copy !req
577. That's hearts and minds!
You...Copy !req
578. Hello... (SIGHS)
(LINE DISCONNECTS)Copy !req
579. Yeah, I have your number,
too, so...Copy !req
580. Yeah, I see. Okay.Copy !req
581. No, no, no, no, no, man.
Can't touch the goods.Copy !req
582. I signed the form,
only I can touch
the camera.Copy !req
583. Fine. May I suggest
you widen the frameCopy !req
584. to include the billboard
is the story, okay?Copy !req
585. I'm also the story, so...Copy !req
586. Gotta get me in there.
Okay, so get on your mark.Copy !req
587. You know,
no offense to your
minutes of experience,Copy !req
588. but I'd like to
see what we got
before we do this, okay?Copy !req
589. Other guy.Copy !req
590. Other guy.
Only other guy
that's here.Copy !req
591. Go stand where I was standing.Copy !req
592. Shrink down, shrink down.
Scrunch.Copy !req
593. Yeah.Copy !req
594. Okay, widen the frame,
get the billboard.Copy !req
595. Okay, now get me.
Me, me, me, me, me.Copy !req
596. No, not me. Him, he's me.Copy !req
597. Yeah. Like that.Copy !req
598. Got it?
Yeah.Copy !req
599. Good.Copy !req
600. (EXHALES)
Okay. Is he in the shot?Copy !req
601. No, dude. Just go.Copy !req
602. How do I look?
Great.Copy !req
603. Well...Copy !req
604. No, this is my good side.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
605. (SIGHS)
Is the billboard in?Copy !req
606. Yes, Jesus, just...Copy !req
607. You said
$100 for one hour,
not fricking three.Copy !req
608. You clearly have
a journalistic impulse.Copy !req
609. You're a real go-getter,
you know that?Copy !req
610. Go-get this.Copy !req
611. All right, count me down.Copy !req
612. And five, four, three...Copy !req
613. Gravitas.Copy !req
614. I'm James McGill.Copy !req
615. Like most Americans,
I'm a self-made man.Copy !req
616. I put myself
through law school.Copy !req
617. Working in the courts
as a public defender,Copy !req
618. I represented those
with nowhere else to turn.Copy !req
619. I believe in service.
It's what I've
built my career on.Copy !req
620. But I've also had a dream.Copy !req
621. A dream that
many of us have,Copy !req
622. a dream to own
my own business.Copy !req
623. Well, I scrimped
and I savedCopy !req
624. and finally I was able
to buy one billboard.Copy !req
625. A tiny foray
into advertising for
my fledgling law firm.Copy !req
626. I've always been
told that America is
the land of opportunity,Copy !req
627. and I believed it.Copy !req
628. Until today. (SCOFFS)Copy !req
629. Not 24 hours after
my billboard went up,Copy !req
630. a large law
firm came after me.Copy !req
631. They said that
I was hurting
their business.Copy !req
632. They're rich,
they're powerful,
I'm justCopy !req
633. one man.Copy !req
634. So who do you think
the court sided with?Copy !req
635. So now my little billboard
comes down.Copy !req
636. Let me tell you something.Copy !req
637. If they want a fight,
they're gonna get a fight.Copy !req
638. Because I am not giving up...
(SCREAMING)Copy !req
639. Holy shit! Dude!
The dude!Copy !req
640. Dude, the dude!
Help!Copy !req
641. The worker guy!Copy !req
642. Holy shit!Copy !req
643. Please! (GRUNTS)
Get me down!Copy !req
644. Dude!
Okay, call 911!Copy !req
645. Help me! (GRUNTS)Copy !req
646. You got a cell?
Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
647. Please!Copy !req
648. Yeah, a guy just
fell off a billboard...Copy !req
649. Help me!Copy !req
650. Man, I don't think
that's very safe!Copy !req
651. You need to be
licensed for that!Copy !req
652. Help me!
Man...Copy !req
653. Not looking down.Copy !req
654. One rung at a time.Copy !req
655. Not looking down.Copy !req
656. Hurry up!
Come get me!Copy !req
657. Help!Copy !req
658. Help me!Copy !req
659. Sir, I'm right here!
Please!Copy !req
660. Please!Copy !req
661. Pull me up!
Grab my hand!Copy !req
662. Pull me up!Copy !req
663. Pull me up!Copy !req
664. You okay?Copy !req
665. Took you long enough.Copy !req
666. I was scared, yes,
I mean...Copy !req
667. I'm not really
a big fan of heights,
let me tell you.Copy !req
668. But, you know,
something inside me said,Copy !req
669. "You have to do this."
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)Copy !req
670. I'm sure our
city's first respondersCopy !req
671. would have been
here momentarily...Copy !req
672. Jesus,
can you believe this guy?Copy !req
673. This whole thing was
a publicity stunt,
it's gotta be.Copy !req
674. I think that's kind of
all anybody wants
when they're in trouble.Copy !req
675. You don't think anyone's
gonna actually buy this?Copy !req
676. Hard to say.
People love a hero.Copy !req
677. You take it as
it comes, right?Copy !req
678. The universe put
me in that spot,Copy !req
679. at that moment,
who am I to say no?Copy !req
680. You know, as a lawyer,
I help people every day...Copy !req
681. The whole
thing's a damn stunt.Copy !req
682. But I think my
clients know thatCopy !req
683. when they're in trouble,
I'm there.Copy !req
684. I'm just a guy
who was in the right...Copy !req
685. (AUTOMATED VOICE)
You have seven new messages.Copy !req
686. To listen to your messages,
press "1."Copy !req
687. First message,
received at 5:40...Copy !req
688. It's just showmanship, Chuck.Copy !req
689. Yeah, right.Copy !req
690. You're early.Copy !req
691. Did you...
Yeah, I grounded myself.Copy !req
692. Hey, big day.
My phone's
ringing off the hook.Copy !req
693. I have three consults
before lunchtime. Three!Copy !req
694. That's great, Jimmy.Copy !req
695. Yep.Copy !req
696. The worm has turned.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
697. That's really great.Copy !req
698. So, to what do you credit
this sudden change?Copy !req
699. Well, I gotta admit,
you were right.Copy !req
700. How so?
(WATER RUNNING)Copy !req
701. Well, you told me
to keep plugging,Copy !req
702. and, you know,
"do good work and the
clients will come."Copy !req
703. You know, I'll admit,Copy !req
704. I almost lost
faith a couple times,Copy !req
705. but the worm has turned.Copy !req
706. So, what, you've been
getting referrals from
your PD clients?Copy !req
707. Yeah. You know,
you work hard,
how you got half a brain,Copy !req
708. and people come knocking,
like you said.Copy !req
709. I just needed to
get my face out there.Copy !req
710. Oh.Copy !req
711. So, prosecutors, then?
Referring clients?Copy !req
712. Yeah. Yep. Exactly.Copy !req
713. Was it Bergeron?Copy !req
714. When I was starting out,
she sent me
a couple of good ones.Copy !req
715. Yeah, it was someone
on her team.
You know...Copy !req
716. I mean, hey, it just took
some elbow greaseCopy !req
717. and clean living.
People noticed.Copy !req
718. I knew you had it in you.Copy !req
719. I don't see
the Journal here.Copy !req
720. There. Here you go.
No, no,Copy !req
721. the Albuquerque Journal.
It's not here.Copy !req
722. Oh, yeah,
I didn't see it outside.Copy !req
723. Wasn't out there?
It's always out there.Copy !req
724. I didn't see it.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
725. Maybe they
forgot to deliver it.
Maybe some kids grabbed it.Copy !req
726. Because if there's
one thing kids love,Copy !req
727. it's local print journalism.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
728. I don't know
what to tell you.Copy !req
729. You got a ton of
reading material there.Copy !req
730. Look, hey.
(WHISTLES)Copy !req
731. Financial Times.
You know,
I know AlbuquerqueCopy !req
732. is a hub of global intrigue,Copy !req
733. but you think
that'll tide you over?Copy !req
734. All right, fine,
but if it's not
here tomorrow,Copy !req
735. I'm gonna need you to call
the subscription
office for me.Copy !req
736. Yeah, will do.
Look, I gotta go.
I don't wanna be late.Copy !req
737. Hey, good luck today!Copy !req
738. Thanks.
Keep it up!Copy !req
739. (DOOR OPENS)
Hard work looks good on you.Copy !req