1. Belinda here.Copy !req
2. Yes.Copy !req
3. Name?
Charles McGill.Copy !req
4. Client visit.Copy !req
5. Here's Johnny!Copy !req
6. (LAUGHING) Hey,
I knew you'd come.Copy !req
7. All right. You're
a sight for sore eyes.Copy !req
8. You're looking good.Copy !req
9. (BUZZER)
Jimmy.Copy !req
10. Sorry you had to
come all this way.Copy !req
11. It's a long way,
right?Copy !req
12. It's a long way.
Yeah. Sorry.Copy !req
13. Only two things I know
about Albuquerque...Copy !req
14. Bugs Bunny should've taken
a left turn there.Copy !req
15. And, give me
a hundred tries,Copy !req
16. I'll never be able
to spell it.Copy !req
17. Anyway...Copy !req
18. (SIGHS) As you can see,
I'm in a...Copy !req
19. A bit of a pickle.Copy !req
20. You certainly are.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
21. Forget the property damage
and assault charges.Copy !req
22. You face being labeled
a sex offender, Jimmy.Copy !req
23. If that happens,
it'll follow you for
the rest of your life.Copy !req
24. That is insane!Copy !req
25. Okay? Th...Copy !req
26. That is a trumped-up
load of horse crap,
Chuck, come on.Copy !req
27. Is that what
I tell the judge...Copy !req
28. "Trumped-up load
of horse crap"?Copy !req
29. I'm not the lawyer
here, okay,Copy !req
30. but it was a simple
Chicago sunroof.Copy !req
31. "Sex offender"?Copy !req
32. That's not even
remotely a...Copy !req
33. Let's talk
strategy, okay?Copy !req
34. 'Cause I need you
to work your magicCopy !req
35. and make this whole
situation go poof.Copy !req
36. You got
a plan of attack?Copy !req
37. Huh? Come on.Copy !req
38. I know I haven't
made it easy for you,Copy !req
39. but you are...
You are the man!Copy !req
40. Right? I know
you got a million
legal loopholesCopy !req
41. that we can
dance through.Copy !req
42. Big bag of tricks,
you know?Copy !req
43. Any clever technicalities,
huh?Copy !req
44. And reasonable-doubt
type stuff?Copy !req
45. Come on, Chuck.Copy !req
46. I haven't seen you in,
what, five years?Copy !req
47. We barely hear from you.Copy !req
48. Now that you're in it
up to your neck,Copy !req
49. you can't even
call me yourself?Copy !req
50. You have Mom call me?Copy !req
51. Mom took it upon herself
to call you.Copy !req
52. I was just letting her know
where I was.Copy !req
53. You didn't cry to her
on the phone?Copy !req
54. What? No.Copy !req
55. You didn't cry
and beg Mom for help?Copy !req
56. What? Jesus!Copy !req
57. She hears what she
wants to hear, okay?Copy !req
58. I'm gonna cry
on a payphoneCopy !req
59. in the middle of
Cook County Jail.Copy !req
60. Jesus!Copy !req
61. Can we... Can we talk
strategy here, huh?Copy !req
62. Look...
(SIGHS)Copy !req
63. I know I'm
a lousy brother.Copy !req
64. I'm a lousy brother,
I'm a big screw-up.Copy !req
65. And if I was just
a better person,Copy !req
66. I would not only stop
letting you down...Copy !req
67. You know what,
I'd stop letting me down.Copy !req
68. And it's about timeCopy !req
69. that I started to make
both of us proud.Copy !req
70. Am I right?
Guard.Copy !req
71. Wait. Chuck, wait,
wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
72. No, no.
You can't leave me, no.Copy !req
73. If I don't get out of this,
my life is over!Copy !req
74. So long
as you understand that.Copy !req
75. Yeah.Copy !req
76. Jimmy, if I do this...Copy !req
77. If...Copy !req
78. Do not make
a fool out of me.Copy !req
79. I promise I won't.Copy !req
80. Everything
you're doing,Copy !req
81. everything
you're involved with,Copy !req
82. that's over.Copy !req
83. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
Just tell me what to do.Copy !req
84. (VOICE BREAKING)
Whatever it is,
I'll do it.Copy !req
85. Just say it.Copy !req
86. Please, Chuck?Copy !req
87. Help me.Copy !req
88. (BEEP)
Hello?Copy !req
89. Hey. It's me.Copy !req
90. Jimmy?
What's... Uh...Copy !req
91. Jesus, what time is it?Copy !req
92. Clock says 2:00,Copy !req
93. but I think that might be
Ho Chi Minh's time zone.Copy !req
94. What? What's happening?
Is Chuck all right?Copy !req
95. Yeah. Chuck...Copy !req
96. Chuck is Chuck,
all right?Copy !req
97. Everything's all right.Copy !req
98. (CLEARS THROAT)
I just wanted to call you.Copy !req
99. So, uh...
(BREATHES DEEPLY)Copy !req
100. Hey, whatcha doing?Copy !req
101. Jimmy...Copy !req
102. No. I'm not talking
dirty to you.Copy !req
103. What?Copy !req
104. Wait, you think
that's the only reasonCopy !req
105. I would call you
at this time of night?Copy !req
106. I mean,
can you just give me...Copy !req
107. Give me a little bit
of credit, okay?Copy !req
108. And you're not
talking dirty to me either.Copy !req
109. Okay, bye.
I knew it.Copy !req
110. Uh, joking. Just joking.
Having fun with you.Copy !req
111. I'm calling you tonightCopy !req
112. with quality
PG phone conversation.Copy !req
113. PG-13 at worst.Copy !req
114. Uh-huh.Copy !req
115. Hand to God,
you know?Copy !req
116. Uh, but, uh,
if you hang up nowCopy !req
117. and drive straight over,Copy !req
118. limited time only,Copy !req
119. I'm offering
a free pedicure
and foot bath.Copy !req
120. Is that right?Copy !req
121. Well, maybe next time.Copy !req
122. Hey, more for me.
(CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
123. Uh, you're, uh, probably
swamped with work anyways,Copy !req
124. what, with that big,
fat, giant caseCopy !req
125. falling
right into your lap.Copy !req
126. Which case is that?
I don't know.Copy !req
127. Some, uh, some county official
or something?Copy !req
128. It was in
all the papers.Copy !req
129. Craig Kettleman.Copy !req
130. Craig Kettleman, yeah!Copy !req
131. The primo client
your dipwad bossCopy !req
132. stole right out
from under me.Copy !req
133. Nobody stole anybody.Copy !req
134. The Kettlemans
made a choice.Copy !req
135. Yeah, so did the Donner Party
when they took that shortcut.Copy !req
136. Come on, Jimmy.
Hamlin is not that bad.Copy !req
137. And I'm gonna be second chairCopy !req
138. if it ever goes
to trial, so...Copy !req
139. Be happy for me.Copy !req
140. Hey, um, how much exactly
did Kettleman get away with?Copy !req
141. Uh, excuse me, innocent
until proven guilty?Copy !req
142. Uh, excuse me, but I'm
a taxpayer in this county.Copy !req
143. I think I have
a right to know.Copy !req
144. And besides, it's not like
I'm his lawyer or anything.Copy !req
145. I have to go to sleep.Copy !req
146. So do you.Copy !req
147. I know you have court
in the morning.Copy !req
148. He got away with a million,
million-six, at least?Copy !req
149. I'm not talking details
of the case with you.
Good night.Copy !req
150. Where'd he stash
all that dough?Copy !req
151. I mean, besides for buying
that idiotic boat.Copy !req
152. Hello, guilty.Copy !req
153. Hanging up now.Copy !req
154. This guy's...
Yeah, he's probably a target.Copy !req
155. Somebody might
get some bad, bad ideas.Copy !req
156. You know, if Kettleman isn't
careful with that money,Copy !req
157. I mean, (SIGHS)
his whole family
could be in danger.Copy !req
158. What do you mean
"danger"?Copy !req
159. Jimmy,
why would you say that?Copy !req
160. What?Copy !req
161. You said the family
might be in danger.Copy !req
162. I did? I...Copy !req
163. Oh, I, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
164. I'm... I'm drunk.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
165. So, I'm just, uh...Copy !req
166. I'm thinking out loud.
I'm...Copy !req
167. I'm up, spinning, uh...Copy !req
168. Spinning thoughts.Copy !req
169. You sure?
Yeah.Copy !req
170. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh...Copy !req
171. So, I'll see you down
in the court bowels manana.Copy !req
172. Good night, Kim.Copy !req
173. Good night, Jimmy.
(CLICK)Copy !req
174. I'm no hero.Copy !req
175. Hello!
You've reached Team Kettleman!Copy !req
176. Please leave
a message for Craig...Copy !req
177. Betsy...
Warren...Copy !req
178. And Jo Jo...Copy !req
179. After the beep!Copy !req
180. (CLICK)
Hello! You've reached
Team Kettleman!Copy !req
181. Please leave a message...Copy !req
182. Hello?Copy !req
183. (MUFFLED) Kettlemans,
you're in danger.Copy !req
184. You're in danger.Copy !req
185. I'm s...
I'm sorry. What?Copy !req
186. Craig,
who is it?
I am not sure.Copy !req
187. Wait. Say...
Say that again, please.Copy !req
188. (BEEP)
(DISTORTED)
They know about your money.Copy !req
189. Watch out.Copy !req
190. Yeah, what are you
trying to say?Copy !req
191. This is a warning.
You're in danger.Copy !req
192. They're coming
for your money.Copy !req
193. This is a friendly stranger.Copy !req
194. Your whole family
is in danger.Copy !req
195. They money...
They know about the money!Copy !req
196. You have
a terrible connection.Copy !req
197. I'm warning you.
They know about your money.Copy !req
198. Be careful!Copy !req
199. Do you think...
Can you call back
on a better line?Copy !req
200. (NORMAL VOICE) Kettlemans,
you're in danger.Copy !req
201. They're coming
for your money. Bye.
(RECEIVER SLAMS)Copy !req
202. What'd he say?Copy !req
203. We're...
"In danger."Copy !req
204. "They're coming."Copy !req
205. Who...Copy !req
206. Who's coming?Copy !req
207. Okay, how about this,
time served plus counseling?Copy !req
208. Can't do it.
It's his first offense.Copy !req
209. Can't do it, McGill.Copy !req
210. "Can't do it."Can't do it."
Would you work with me here?Copy !req
211. I'm listening, aren't I?
(BUCKLE JINGLING)Copy !req
212. Well, you're kind of
a captive audience.Copy !req
213. What'd you eat for lunch?
The whole roast beast?Copy !req
214. Funny.
(TOILET FLUSHES)Copy !req
215. Okay, okay, hear me out.Copy !req
216. Wow.Copy !req
217. The 30 he's done,
which is a 60 credit,Copy !req
218. plus 60 additional days.Copy !req
219. Can't do it.Copy !req
220. Best offer...Copy !req
221. Six months plus
the time he's done,Copy !req
222. half time for good behavior,
out in 90.Copy !req
223. That's my final.
That's never gonna happen.Copy !req
224. Oh! Come on.
Now, are you joking?Copy !req
225. Now, that is the best
deal you're gonna get.Copy !req
226. (AIR BLOWING)
I can't do it.Copy !req
227. Your guy drove drunk
into a shopping centerCopy !req
228. and killed three people.Copy !req
229. Wait. Shopping center?Copy !req
230. Desmond Rojas.Copy !req
231. Armed robbery,
liquor store.Copy !req
232. He assaulted the cashier
with a bottle of Kahlua!Copy !req
233. Oh. I was thinking
of Daryl Redwood.Copy !req
234. Yeah. Okay, my bad.
Desmond Rojas.Copy !req
235. Okay, go, start over.Copy !req
236. I'm not starting over!Copy !req
237. I'm busting my nut here
every day for 700 a throw,Copy !req
238. inhaling your BM,Copy !req
239. which is straight
from Satan's bunghole,Copy !req
240. and you can't tell one
defendant from another?Copy !req
241. 90 days with good behavior,
we're doing this!Copy !req
242. Yeah, okay. Yeah.Copy !req
243. Say it. Say the words,
"I accept the deal."Copy !req
244. Yeah, I accept...
I accept the deal.Copy !req
245. Good morning.Copy !req
246. What do you mean,
what did I mean?Copy !req
247. I... No, I told you.
I was drunk. I just...Copy !req
248. Kim, why are you...
Why are you asking me this?Copy !req
249. (TIRES SCREECH)
Oh, damn it.Copy !req
250. Here.
I'm in a real rush.Copy !req
251. I didn't have time
to get the validation.Copy !req
252. Fine. 9 bucks.Copy !req
253. I... I don't have it.Copy !req
254. I have $5. Please?Copy !req
255. You know the drill,
money or the validation.Copy !req
256. Look, this is
an emergency, okay?Copy !req
257. A serious,
serious emergency.Copy !req
258. I have to
get out of here.Copy !req
259. I promise, on the souls
of my forefathers,Copy !req
260. I will get you the stickers
when I come back.Copy !req
261. I will get you extra
if you just let me go.Copy !req
262. Fine! Fine! You're
gonna make me walk back
and get the stickers,Copy !req
263. I'll walk back
and get the stickers!Copy !req
264. I'm not making
you do anything.Copy !req
265. Those are the rules.Copy !req
266. Hey, whatever helps you
sleep at night.Copy !req
267. Screw you, geezer!Copy !req
268. Copy that, dispatch.Copy !req
269. Jimmy.Copy !req
270. What brought you here?Copy !req
271. Me? Uh...Copy !req
272. Uh, I was surfing
the police scanner.Copy !req
273. I heard there was
big activity out this way.Copy !req
274. Well, there's no
business for you here,
so maybe next time.Copy !req
275. Uh, it was
a home invasion?Copy !req
276. Uh, the Kettlemans okay?Copy !req
277. Uh, we don't know.Copy !req
278. Neighbor was walking
the dog last night,Copy !req
279. saw the front door
wide open.Copy !req
280. The place was ransacked.
No sign of the family.Copy !req
281. There's no note, so...Copy !req
282. We're still
figuring it out.Copy !req
283. I gotta get back.Copy !req
284. Yeah, yeah. Of course.
Good luck.Copy !req
285. Why did you
come here?
(SCOFFS)Copy !req
286. I'm just supporting a friend
in her time of need.Copy !req
287. You wanna be supportive?
Tell me why you said
those things last night.Copy !req
288. I'm just reading
tea leaves,Copy !req
289. same way I knew
the Kettlemans needed
a lawyer.Copy !req
290. All that money
floating out there,Copy !req
291. it's logical somebody
would come after it.Copy !req
292. So, the same night
you worry about them,
they... disappear?Copy !req
293. Yeah. It's crazy.
It's Ripley's.Copy !req
294. Jimmy, it's not just Craig
and Betsy Kettleman,Copy !req
295. it's their two kids
as well.Copy !req
296. You would say something
if you could help
find them, right?Copy !req
297. I don't... I don't know
what happened to them.Copy !req
298. Really, I...
I don't know.Copy !req
299. The longer you stay here,
the more explaining I have
to do to Hamlin.Copy !req
300. I'll talk to you later.Copy !req
301. Hey, you'll tell me
if there's anything
I can do?Copy !req
302. Everything is gonna be fine.Copy !req
303. It's gonna work out A-Okay.Copy !req
304. It's gonna be fine.
(BREATHES SHARPLY)Copy !req
305. Nacho. Leave it.Copy !req
306. (BEEP)
Uh, yes, I'm, uh...Copy !req
307. This is the party
you spoke to the other day.Copy !req
308. Uh, and I sincerely
want to help you (SIGHS)Copy !req
309. de-escalate your situation,Copy !req
310. uh, legally and otherwise.Copy !req
311. Um, so call me
at 146-8729Copy !req
312. at your earliest convenience.Copy !req
313. But soon, please.Copy !req
314. Nacho. Leave it.
(BEEP)Copy !req
315. Yeah, Nacho, hi.Copy !req
316. Uh... Just to clarify,Copy !req
317. look, I don't know anything.Copy !req
318. I have spoken to no one,Copy !req
319. and, uh, there are no rats
on this ship.Copy !req
320. But (SIGHS) for the sake
of everyone involved,Copy !req
321. I would just like
to open a dialogue.Copy !req
322. So... 146-8729.Copy !req
323. Call me when you get this.Copy !req
324. If I didn't say it before,Copy !req
325. time is of the essence
on this matter,Copy !req
326. so, uh, I'm gonna
hang up now...Copy !req
327. If you're trying to call.Copy !req
328. Uh, there's no
call waiting hereCopy !req
329. if you get a busy signal.Copy !req
330. 146-8729.Copy !req
331. Just keep trying.
I'll be here.Copy !req
332. I can put out this fire,Copy !req
333. if there is a fire.Copy !req
334. By hope of hopes, this is all
a big misunderstanding.Copy !req
335. 146-8729.Copy !req
336. Hello?Copy !req
337. Hello? Nacho?Copy !req
338. Nacho?Copy !req
339. Walking.Copy !req
340. Just walking.Copy !req
341. Just strolling along.Copy !req
342. Thank God! Help! Help!Copy !req
343. Down! Show us your hands!
Stop! On the ground!Copy !req
344. You guys are cops?
Show us your hands!Copy !req
345. I got bad knees! Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
346. (GRUNTING)
Come on, officers.Copy !req
347. You're making a mistake.Copy !req
348. My name is McGill,
James McGill.Copy !req
349. (HANDCUFFS CLICK)
I'm an attorney.Copy !req
350. Easy, easy!Copy !req
351. It's his lawyer.
Whose lawyer?Copy !req
352. You sure
he asked for me?Copy !req
353. You going in
or what?Copy !req
354. Hey.
(CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
355. You asked for me,
and I have come.Copy !req
356. I want to tell you
this was a wise move.Copy !req
357. Very smart.Copy !req
358. Because I'm here to help.Copy !req
359. Everyone. All parties.
But mostly you.Copy !req
360. Uh, those two detectives...
(STAMMERS)Copy !req
361. They just gave me
an earful. (SIGHS)Copy !req
362. And what they were
telling me is...Copy !req
363. It's problematic.Copy !req
364. I'm gonna pitch it
back to youCopy !req
365. so I know we're
on the same page.Copy !req
366. A neighbor lady saw
a suspicious vanCopy !req
367. parked across the street
from the Kettlemans' houseCopy !req
368. two nights in a row.Copy !req
369. She wrote down
the license plate.Copy !req
370. It was your
license plate.Copy !req
371. Cops tracked
your van and you,Copy !req
372. searched it,
and found blood on the floor.Copy !req
373. So, here we are.Copy !req
374. Um... Um...Copy !req
375. They're calling
the FBI in on this,Copy !req
376. which makes it federal.Copy !req
377. That's a bad thing,
Nacho.Copy !req
378. That's...
That's very bad,Copy !req
379. but if you tell me
where the family is,Copy !req
380. if you give them up now,Copy !req
381. full cooperation,
deep remorse,Copy !req
382. I feel very good about
knocking your sentenceCopy !req
383. down to the minimum,Copy !req
384. 18 years.Copy !req
385. They take this good behavior
thing very seriously,Copy !req
386. so start here,
right here.Copy !req
387. Tell me
the family is okay.Copy !req
388. Tell me
the kids are okay.Copy !req
389. You want to tell me
your thoughts and weigh in?Copy !req
390. Does this sound
like a plan that
you can get behind?Copy !req
391. You miserable
piece of shit.Copy !req
392. You set me up.
I what?Copy !req
393. You gave my score
to another crew,Copy !req
394. and now you're
setting me up.Copy !req
395. I... What the what?Copy !req
396. Did the cops beat you?Copy !req
397. 'Cause you're talking like
a person with head trauma...Copy !req
398. You think
you're funny?Copy !req
399. What are you saying?
Are you saying that you had
nothing to do with this?Copy !req
400. That was your van
outside the house.Copy !req
401. Y... You weren't there?Copy !req
402. Yeah, I was there.Copy !req
403. I was casing the place,Copy !req
404. figuring out the best way
in and out,Copy !req
405. what time they went
to bed, all that.Copy !req
406. They were fine when I left.
That's it.Copy !req
407. You had nothing to do
with the Kettlemans.Copy !req
408. I was never in the house.Copy !req
409. What about the blood
in your van?Copy !req
410. They DNA my ride,Copy !req
411. all they're gonna find
is the blood of your
skate-rat twins,Copy !req
412. plus whatever piss
and shit you leaked out
when you were in there.Copy !req
413. Nobody's been in the
back of that van since.Copy !req
414. I... I don't understand.Copy !req
415. Here's what I understand,
Counselor.Copy !req
416. I told my plan
to one other person.Copy !req
417. One...Copy !req
418. You.Copy !req
419. Now here I am,
under arrest.Copy !req
420. Go figure.
(SIGHS)Copy !req
421. I don't know anything about
a setup or another crew.Copy !req
422. You know what?
I don't even care.Copy !req
423. The cops are
out there right now,Copy !req
424. poking in to my business,Copy !req
425. and if they find
something on meCopy !req
426. or my partners,
for real,Copy !req
427. it's gonna be
bad for you.Copy !req
428. Really bad.Copy !req
429. Bad? Bad as in...Copy !req
430. You get me
out of here today...Copy !req
431. Or you're a dead man.Copy !req
432. Oh, hey.Copy !req
433. I asked
if you knew anything.Copy !req
434. You didn't tell me
you were representing
the lead suspect.Copy !req
435. I didn't know it
at the time.Copy !req
436. He give up anything?Copy !req
437. What?
Did he tell you
where the family is?Copy !req
438. (SIGHS)
He doesn't know.Copy !req
439. What does that mean,
he doesn't know?Copy !req
440. He gave them
to somebody else?Copy !req
441. He doesn't know
because he didn't do it.Copy !req
442. Ah, Christ.
Give me a break.Copy !req
443. Guys, can you give us
just a minute?Copy !req
444. Jimmy, that family
is in real danger.Copy !req
445. You don't have to stand behind
attorney-client privilege.Copy !req
446. I'm not.Copy !req
447. These people can be
buried in a box,Copy !req
448. sucking air through
a straw right now.Copy !req
449. And I'm sorry if
that's where they are,Copy !req
450. but my guy
didn't do it.Copy !req
451. How are you
so sure?Copy !req
452. (SIGHS) You know what
you're gonna do?Copy !req
453. You're gonna get your
special CSI people, right?Copy !req
454. And you're gonna test
the blood from that van,Copy !req
455. because I guarantee you,
one billion percent,Copy !req
456. it's not the Kettlemans'.Copy !req
457. Whose is it?Copy !req
458. It's not
the Kettlemans'.Copy !req
459. Just test it.
That'll take weeks,Copy !req
460. if we can even
get a DNA sample
to compare it to.Copy !req
461. Well, isn't that
convenient?Copy !req
462. You've got an innocent man
in there right now,Copy !req
463. who I demand you release
with an apology!Copy !req
464. There are
no other suspects.Copy !req
465. There's no evidence
that points to anyone else.Copy !req
466. Well, then, I want
to see the crime scene,Copy !req
467. 'cause you guys
are missing something.Copy !req
468. Screw you,
"Missing something."Copy !req
469. No, Detectives, I, um...Copy !req
470. I think that's a good idea.Copy !req
471. A good idea?
Yes.Copy !req
472. I think we should invite
Mr. McGill to the house.Copy !req
473. (SCOFFS)
Why?Copy !req
474. Yeah, why?Copy !req
475. So, what did we miss?Copy !req
476. This is the son's room.
Warren.Copy !req
477. Twelve years old.Copy !req
478. Jo Jo's room.Copy !req
479. She's 7.Copy !req
480. All right, you wanted me
to crack?Copy !req
481. Mission accomplished.Copy !req
482. But I'm telling you,
my client didn't do this.Copy !req
483. We know Varga was
outside the houseCopy !req
484. the night the family
disappeared.Copy !req
485. That is a fact.Copy !req
486. Advocate for the guy
all you want,Copy !req
487. after we get these people
back safe.Copy !req
488. In the meantime,
help us.Copy !req
489. Where's the doll?Copy !req
490. Where's the what?Copy !req
491. Uh, got little shoes,
a bunch of clothes,Copy !req
492. a table and chairs,
hairbrush,Copy !req
493. but where's the doll that
goes with all this stuff?Copy !req
494. In every picture
of this little girl,Copy !req
495. she's holding
the same doll.Copy !req
496. So, where's the doll?Copy !req
497. What does it matter?Copy !req
498. Doll is gone.
Girl is gone,Copy !req
499. which means doll and girl
are most likely together,Copy !req
500. which means...Copy !req
501. I have no idea
what that means.Copy !req
502. Which means the kid wasn't
dragged out of the house,
ipso facto...Copy !req
503. Wait, wait.
What are you saying?Copy !req
504. Maybe the Kettlemans
kidnapped themselves.Copy !req
505. That's it. You're...
You're done. Let's go.Copy !req
506. It makes
perfect sense.Copy !req
507. How does it make sense?
Why would they do that?Copy !req
508. They stole
a million dollars-plus, right?Copy !req
509. You... You wanna get away
with all that yummy cash,Copy !req
510. what do you do, run?
No, you can't.Copy !req
511. If you run, everyone knows
you're guilty. Ah!Copy !req
512. But if you're kidnapped,
you're a victim, right?Copy !req
513. They staged this
to throw everyone off.Copy !req
514. (SCOFFS)
You guys are looking
in the wrong place.Copy !req
515. Who knows how many miles
into Mexico or Canada
they could be.Copy !req
516. You gotta put
the word out.Copy !req
517. Oh, come on. You don't think
it's possible I'm right?Copy !req
518. It's possible,
unlikely.Copy !req
519. Unlikely?Copy !req
520. All their cars
are here.Copy !req
521. There's no record of
a taxi or car service
to the house.Copy !req
522. And they didn't
get on any planes
or buses or trains.Copy !req
523. You checked all that?
Yes, we checked it.Copy !req
524. And the doll?
It's not news.Copy !req
525. We saw it was missing.Copy !req
526. So where is it?Copy !req
527. The girl was scared,
crying.Copy !req
528. Bad guy lets the kid
take the doll to shut her up.Copy !req
529. What, you don't think
that's possible?Copy !req
530. I need to
talk to you.Copy !req
531. Alone.Copy !req
532. I've got to tell you
something on the QT,Copy !req
533. and promise not to be
upset with me.Copy !req
534. No way am I making
that promise.Copy !req
535. I called
the Kettlemans.Copy !req
536. After I hung up with you,
I gave them a warning call.Copy !req
537. A warning call?Copy !req
538. Yeah, I was worried
my guy Varga was going
after their money.Copy !req
539. And he was.
He was gonna rip them off.Copy !req
540. I deduced it from
a conversation that we had.Copy !req
541. It was lawyer
to client,Copy !req
542. so there was, you know,
confidentiality issues.Copy !req
543. But I called the Kettlemans
anonymously to warn them.Copy !req
544. Anonymously?Copy !req
545. You didn't...
Oh, God, you didn't...Copy !req
546. You didn't do
the sex robot voice,
did you?Copy !req
547. I did, with the tube
and the whole thing,Copy !req
548. which probably scared
the living shit out of them,Copy !req
549. and they took off,
which, you know,Copy !req
550. file that under
"unintended consequences,"Copy !req
551. but you...
You believe me now?Copy !req
552. Uh...Copy !req
553. Great!Copy !req
554. Now we have
to find them.Copy !req
555. Or better yet,Copy !req
556. get the cops
to let Varga goCopy !req
557. because right now,
my ass is on the highway
to the danger zone.Copy !req
558. Why are you
in danger?
Nacho Varga.Copy !req
559. He didn't kidnap
the family,Copy !req
560. but he's a bad guy.Copy !req
561. He's a very bad guy.Copy !req
562. And if the cops
keep pushing him,Copy !req
563. they're gonna
find something.Copy !req
564. And when that happens,
Nacho blames me,Copy !req
565. and then his guys turn me
into a meat pinata.Copy !req
566. Jimmy, tell the police.Copy !req
567. No, there's... There's no way
I'm gonna rat on this guy.Copy !req
568. I will never be safe.Copy !req
569. No, I have to convince
the cops that I'm right,Copy !req
570. get them to stop
looking at Nacho,Copy !req
571. and catch the Kettlemans
on the run.Copy !req
572. And if they
never catch them?Copy !req
573. The Kettlemans?Copy !req
574. Well, you've met
these people, right?Copy !req
575. They're not exactly
masterminds, right?Copy !req
576. They will be caught if the
cops are looking for them,Copy !req
577. so you tell them to,
would you?Copy !req
578. FBI, too. I heard
they're getting in on this.Copy !req
579. Why would the FBI
listen to me?Copy !req
580. Well, Hamlin...Copy !req
581. They'll listen
to him, right?
APD, at least.Copy !req
582. You talk to Howard.
You explain things to him.Copy !req
583. He has clout
with these people.Copy !req
584. What?
Is that a no or...Copy !req
585. Hamlin will never
agree to it.Copy !req
586. The Kettlemans
are our clients.Copy !req
587. This would mean
incriminating them.Copy !req
588. Oh, you...
You see?Copy !req
589. This is why
people hate lawyers.Copy !req
590. It's Hamlin's call,Copy !req
591. and Hamlin
will never agree.Copy !req
592. And even if it were up to me,
you know I couldn't.Copy !req
593. I'm sorry.
I just...
I get it.Copy !req
594. Where are you going?Copy !req
595. I'm gonna go
talk to Nacho.Copy !req
596. I'll try to make him
see reason.Copy !req
597. To beg!Copy !req
598. Come on.Copy !req
599. Come on!Copy !req
600. Right. Yeah. Hey.
(CLEARS THROAT)Copy !req
601. I was a jerk, okay?Copy !req
602. So, I will...
I will pay you
what I owe you,Copy !req
603. plus interest, if you
just let me come through.Copy !req
604. I suggest you find
parking somewhere else.Copy !req
605. Somewhere else, as in...
Where somewhere else?Copy !req
606. Not my concern.Copy !req
607. Uh, actually,
uh, this is your job,Copy !req
608. so, by definition,
it's your concern.Copy !req
609. So pump out the ticket
and open the stupid gate
already, please.Copy !req
610. I mean, I don't
have time for this.Copy !req
611. All...
(SIGHS)Copy !req
612. All right.Copy !req
613. Hey. I'm gonna...
I'm gonna park right here.Copy !req
614. I don't think
you wanna be doing that.Copy !req
615. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
616. What are you gonna do?
You got a poop-filled
diaper in there?Copy !req
617. You're gonna
throw it at me?Copy !req
618. You gonna gum me
to death, huh, geezer?Copy !req
619. Ohh! Whoa, ow!Copy !req
620. We're talking about
a family,Copy !req
621. mom, dad, two kids.Copy !req
622. Lawyer's got
this bullshit theoryCopy !req
623. about them staging thisCopy !req
624. and running off
with the money.
You know the story?Copy !req
625. Yeah, county treasurer
embezzled funds.Copy !req
626. I read the paper.Copy !req
627. Yeah, well, we got this
gangbanger dead to rights.Copy !req
628. Only problem is
your guy over there.Copy !req
629. He needs to help us get
his scumbag client to talk.Copy !req
630. So, what do you say?
You on board?Copy !req
631. Help us do
some good.Copy !req
632. Sure.Copy !req
633. Okay, here's the deal.
You assaulted this man.Copy !req
634. Give me a break.
I barely touched the guy.Copy !req
635. But you laid hands
on him first.Copy !req
636. Finger...
I laid finger on him.Copy !req
637. Well, whatever your
interpretation, it was
still an assault.Copy !req
638. Now, this gentleman
is willing to let this go,Copy !req
639. not press charges,
if you help us out.Copy !req
640. You gotta get your client
to tell us where he has
the family stashed.Copy !req
641. Wait, guys,
I'm the definitionCopy !req
642. of a broken record
on this one.Copy !req
643. Nacho is "not-cho" man,
comprendo?Copy !req
644. Nobody took
the Kettlemans.Copy !req
645. The Kettlemans
took themselves!Copy !req
646. You're gonna keep
playing that line,Copy !req
647. it's gonna go rough.Copy !req
648. You know what?
Do your worst.Copy !req
649. All right. Let's go.
To booking.Copy !req
650. Yeah. Sure. Fine.
(CLAPS HANDS)Copy !req
651. Perfect end
to a perfect day.Copy !req
652. Hey, guys, wait a second.
I changed my mind.Copy !req
653. I'm sorry, what?Copy !req
654. I don't wanna
press charges.Copy !req
655. We talked about this.
You want to press charges.Copy !req
656. No. No, I don't.Copy !req
657. What're you doing, buddy?
I thought you had our backs.Copy !req
658. No, I don't think
I said that, buddy.Copy !req
659. So, what, you get a
chance to do the right
thing and you puss out?Copy !req
660. Mmm...Copy !req
661. Yeah. Well,
I guess it's my loss.Copy !req
662. Hey, Cagney, Lacey.Copy !req
663. When you realize
how wrong you are
about all this,Copy !req
664. I'll take an
Edible Arrangement
as a "sorry."Copy !req
665. Heavy on
the pineapple.Copy !req
666. Hey, hold up.Copy !req
667. How come you let me
off the hook back there?Copy !req
668. I'm going back to work.
Why don't you quit
while you're aheadCopy !req
669. and go on your way?Copy !req
670. No, I refuse
to believe it's becauseCopy !req
671. you have something resembling
a heart inside your body.Copy !req
672. You're not gonna have
a heart inside your body
in about five seconds.Copy !req
673. Okay, don't tell me,
all right?Copy !req
674. I already know
why you did it.Copy !req
675. Yeah? Why's that?Copy !req
676. 'Cause you believe me.Copy !req
677. That family
kidnapped themselves.Copy !req
678. (CLICKS TONGUE)
All right, I believe you.Copy !req
679. I knew it! I knew it!Copy !req
680. Finally,
someone believes me!Copy !req
681. Why do you believe me?Copy !req
682. I heard the details.
Your story makes sense.Copy !req
683. Of course it does!Copy !req
684. But, devil's advocate.Copy !req
685. Like the cops said,
the Kettlemans' cars
are still at their house.Copy !req
686. There's no record
of them leaving.Copy !req
687. How'd they get
out of the country?Copy !req
688. They didn't.Copy !req
689. Odds are, they didn't
get out of their neighborhood.Copy !req
690. What? They...
Come again?Copy !req
691. Look, (SIGHS) when
I was still on the job
back in Philly,Copy !req
692. we had this case...Copy !req
693. Whoa, hold up.
Hold up.Copy !req
694. Now, wait.
"On the job,"Copy !req
695. as in you were a cop
on the job?Copy !req
696. This bookie disappeared
after the Super Bowl...Copy !req
697. Cowboys/Steelers.Copy !req
698. Took $6 million in betsCopy !req
699. and skipped town when
things didn't go his way.Copy !req
700. Now, everybody thought
he was on the beach
in The BahamasCopy !req
701. or dead in the
Jersey Pine Barrens...Copy !req
702. Wasn't the case.Copy !req
703. He was two doors down
from where he livedCopy !req
704. in a foreclosed house.Copy !req
705. Hid there for six months
without anyone suspecting.Copy !req
706. But why?
Why not run?Copy !req
707. Now, that's what
everybody expects.Copy !req
708. It's human nature to want
to stay close to home,Copy !req
709. and if this Kettleman
figured out how to do it,Copy !req
710. that's what he did.Copy !req
711. Nobody wants
to leave home.Copy !req
712. I know.
It's pretty exciting.Copy !req
713. Let's really sell
this one, okay?Copy !req
714. Let's do this. And...Copy !req
715. ♪ There was a farmer had a dogCopy !req
716. (PANTING)
♪ And Bingo was his name-oCopy !req
717. (ALL CLAP)
♪ I-N-G-OCopy !req
718. (ALL CLAP)
♪ I-N-G-OCopy !req
719. (ALL CLAP)
♪ I-N-G-OCopy !req
720. (DIALING)
♪ There was a farmer
had a dog,Copy !req
721. (ALL CLAPPING TWICE)
♪ N-G-O, N-G-OCopy !req
722. Hey, it's me.
Listen to this.
(ALL CLAP TWICE)Copy !req
723. You hear that? I found
your dumb-ass clients.Copy !req
724. (ALL CLAPPING THREE TIMES)
♪ G-O, G-O, G-OCopy !req
725. It's a long story.
♪ And Bingo was his name-oCopy !req
726. Look, I'm... I'm
taking them back
to their place.Copy !req
727. We'll meet you there.
♪ Bingo was his name-oCopy !req
728. Give me a couple hours.Copy !req
729. (ALL CLAPPING FOUR TIMES)
♪ O, O, OCopy !req
730. (LAUGHING) Hey.
Yay!Copy !req
731. That was great, guys.Copy !req
732. Yeah, I think we have time
for one more before bed.Copy !req
733. Do we have to?Copy !req
734. Oh, hey,
I don't know about you,Copy !req
735. but I would love
a littleCopy !req
736. John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt.Copy !req
737. Yeah, and
you know what?Copy !req
738. Let's really have fun
with this one.Copy !req
739. Okay, Kettle Team?Copy !req
740. Let's do this. And...
(ZIPPER OPENS)Copy !req
741. Here's Johnny!Copy !req
742. Hey, Warren.
Hey, Jo Jo.Copy !req
743. Uh, sorry about that.Copy !req
744. I'm your Uncle Jimmy,
all right?Copy !req
745. Now, your parents
are gonna take you
down the mountainCopy !req
746. back to your house.
That sound good?Copy !req
747. Uh, we...Copy !req
748. Yeah. See,
they're excited.Copy !req
749. Mr. McGill, can we
talk about this?Copy !req
750. No, we can't, okay?
You're done here.Copy !req
751. Pack up your stuff,
bury your scat,Copy !req
752. 'cause we're heading back.
Civilization awaits.Copy !req
753. Finally.
(CHUCKLES)Copy !req
754. Look. Please, could we
just talk this through?Copy !req
755. It's not an option.Copy !req
756. You either do this
on your own recognizanceCopy !req
757. or the cops come and
drag you by your heels.Copy !req
758. I...
Let's go.Copy !req
759. Kettlemans,
time to ship out!
No. No!Copy !req
760. Yes, you are.
This is happening!
No!Copy !req
761. No! This is
not happening!
Yes, it is! Yes, it...Copy !req
762. Yes! Kettlemans!
No! (GRUNTING)Copy !req
763. Yes, you are
doing this now!Copy !req
764. (GRUNTING) No!Copy !req
765. Yeah.Copy !req