1. ♪ everybody
said it was a shameCopy !req
2. ♪ 'cause her mama was
a workin' on the chain gangCopy !req
3. ♪ a mean, vicious womanCopy !req
4. (coins clatter)
oh, Jesus.Copy !req
5. It can't be done.Copy !req
6. You sure about that?Copy !req
7. Ah. There's a trick,
huh?Copy !req
8. There's got to be.
(woman laughs)Copy !req
9. This guy wouldn't be
putting any money on it
unless there's a trick, huh?Copy !req
10. I'm telling you,
it can't be done.Copy !req
11. So you give up?Copy !req
12. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
13. ♪ the gators got you grannyCopy !req
14. Let's see it.
♪ chomp, chomp, chomp, chompCopy !req
15. ♪ everybody said
it was a shame ♪Copy !req
16. (scoffs)
wait. What?Copy !req
17. No way!Copy !req
18. Show me that again.Copy !req
19. Sure.
You got another $20?Copy !req
20. Screw this.Copy !req
21. Ah, don't go away mad.Copy !req
22. Oh, hey, guys,
you want to buy a rolex?Copy !req
23. Whoa, whoa. Hold on.Copy !req
24. How much for that
cheap piece of crap?Copy !req
25. Look what
the wind blew in.
Hey, merna.Copy !req
26. Holy crap.Copy !req
27. Jimmy, my man,
I said you would beat the rap.
(chuckles)Copy !req
28. Hey, merna,
set him up, would you?Copy !req
29. Merna, no, thanks.
I'm good.Copy !req
30. No, go on.
He don't mean it.Copy !req
31. You just got out of jail.
Come on.Copy !req
32. You're, you're not
gonna have a drink?Copy !req
33. That'll be the day,
huh?Copy !req
34. Marco, settle down, okay?
I'm in a rush.Copy !req
35. My brother's
outside in a taxi.
The meter's running.Copy !req
36. What, chuck's outside?Copy !req
37. Tell him to pull
that broomstick
out of his assCopy !req
38. And get in here.
I'm buying.Copy !req
39. No. No, no, we got no time.
We're catching a plane.Copy !req
40. I came here
to say goodbye.Copy !req
41. I'm moving to albuquerque,
new mexico.Copy !req
42. Mexico?
You skipped bail?Copy !req
43. New mexico...Copy !req
44. You know, like, uh,
the bugs bunny and
road runner, you know?Copy !req
45. Yeah. What are
you gonna do there?Copy !req
46. I'm gonna work
at his law firm,
like, in the mailroom.Copy !req
47. It's a start, anyways.Copy !req
48. (chuckles)
what? Now you're
talking crazy, man.Copy !req
49. You just got out of jail.
Now you want to go back?Copy !req
50. Because working for him,
that's all that is.Copy !req
51. Marco, I was done.Copy !req
52. You understand?
I didn't beat the rap.Copy !req
53. Chuck flew in
and saved my ass.Copy !req
54. It's time
to make some changes.Copy !req
55. Hey, listen, man.
You're slippin' jimmy.Copy !req
56. What do you
got to change, huh?Copy !req
57. Everything.
It's time to grow up.Copy !req
58. Yeah, according to who,
chuck?Copy !req
59. The same goes
for you, man.Copy !req
60. You want to spend the rest
of your life on that stool?Copy !req
61. I mean, come on, marco.
Look at yourself.
(horn honks)Copy !req
62. All right, that's him.
I got to hit it.Copy !req
63. Geez.
His master's voice.Copy !req
64. Really?
Look, come on.
Go outside.Copy !req
65. Tell chuckles that
you got some business
you forgot.Copy !req
66. (chuckling) marco.
Come on.Copy !req
67. You got to have
one last blowout.Copy !req
68. We'll do
the watch thing again.Copy !req
69. But maybe
we'll pull that, uh,Copy !req
70. That tar-money scam
you were talking about,Copy !req
71. Get some girls...
I made a promise.Copy !req
72. Yeah, you made a promise,
but it was...Copy !req
73. Whaddyamacallit?
Under duress.Copy !req
74. Look, he got you
out of jail, okay?Copy !req
75. But he's your brother.
I mean, what else
is he gonna do?Copy !req
76. Marco, listen to me,
all right?Copy !req
77. Chuck's not
making me do this.Copy !req
78. He's giving me an opportunity,
and I'm grabbing it.Copy !req
79. Geez, it's like
watching miles davis
give up the trumpet.Copy !req
80. (chuckling) what?
What does that even mean?Copy !req
81. It's just a waste,
is all I'm saying.Copy !req
82. (sighs) all right, look.
I'm gonna fly out there.Copy !req
83. I'm gonna get settled,
and I'll call you. Yeah?Copy !req
84. All right, jimmy.Copy !req
85. Hey, have a safe flight,
all right?Copy !req
86. ♪ yeah!Copy !req
87. (door closes)
♪ oh, my baby,
when she walks byCopy !req
88. ♪ all the fellows go, "ooh,"
and I know whyCopy !req
89. ♪ it's just because
that girl... ♪Copy !req
90. There are
so many documents.Copy !req
91. I don't know what to do
with them.Copy !req
92. It's gonna take...
(footsteps approach)Copy !req
93. He's waiting for you
in the conference room.Copy !req
94. Hey.Copy !req
95. Hey.Copy !req
96. What's up?
(sighs)Copy !req
97. Just waiting
to talk to howard.Copy !req
98. Can I ask about what?Copy !req
99. I'm taking your advice.Copy !req
100. I'm, uh,
giving the case to hmm.Copy !req
101. Why?Copy !req
102. The fact that chuck
doesn't want me hereCopy !req
103. Has something
to do with it.Copy !req
104. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
105. Why didn't
you just tell me?
I just...Copy !req
106. I didn't want you
hating your own brother.Copy !req
107. How did you find out?
Did kim tell you?Copy !req
108. I figured it out
on my own.Copy !req
109. (chuckling)
it's about time, right?Copy !req
110. I brought
the sandpiper stuff
with me.Copy !req
111. It's down in my car.Copy !req
112. I figure your guys
could do the outreach.Copy !req
113. If any of those geezers
don't want to sign with you,Copy !req
114. Just give me their names.
I'll talk them into it.Copy !req
115. You know, jimmy, I never
wanted it to go this way.Copy !req
116. If it had been up to me,
we would have at least...Copy !req
117. Howard, I get it.Copy !req
118. Your brother's
very important
to the firm.Copy !req
119. Sorry I called you
a pig fucker.Copy !req
120. Well...Copy !req
121. We owe you some money,
don't we?Copy !req
122. The of-counsel fee,Copy !req
123. I think we discussed
$20,000.Copy !req
124. That and whatever
the common-fund proceedsCopy !req
125. Of sandpiper
ultimately adds up to,Copy !req
126. You'll receive
20% of that...Copy !req
127. Should be a very nice
payday for you
when it comes.Copy !req
128. Yep.Copy !req
129. I've got something
for you, too.Copy !req
130. Uh, it's a shopping list
for chuck.Copy !req
131. I mean,
he's doing better,Copy !req
132. But he still needs
deliveries every day.Copy !req
133. I think he'd be
more comfortableCopy !req
134. With someone
else doing it.Copy !req
135. I see.Copy !req
136. You don't have to do it
personally.Copy !req
137. It just needs
to get done.Copy !req
138. It's pretty
straightforward.Copy !req
139. The ice is a pain
in the ass,
but he needs it.Copy !req
140. I usually sneak into a motel
and fill a garbage bag,Copy !req
141. But you can have
whoever you hire
just buy it.Copy !req
142. The most important thing
is the newspapers.Copy !req
143. Uh, the new york times,
the wall street journal,
they're a must.Copy !req
144. There's a newsstand
on eubankCopy !req
145. That has both of them
at 6:00 a.M.,Copy !req
146. Which is good
'cause he's an early riser.Copy !req
147. The albuquerque journal
he gets delivered,Copy !req
148. But somebody still has to
bring it in for him.Copy !req
149. You've been doing
all of this every day...Copy !req
150. For over a year?Copy !req
151. You'll take care
of this?Copy !req
152. Absolutely.Copy !req
153. I'll get it done
and done right.Copy !req
154. I always liked you,
jimmy.Copy !req
155. Remember?Copy !req
156. I used to call you
"charlie hustle."Copy !req
157. Yeah,
I remember that.Copy !req
158. I'm sorry
I yelled at you.Copy !req
159. That was nice.Copy !req
160. You sure
you're all right?Copy !req
161. It's not a crime
to let it out.Copy !req
162. There's nothing to let out.
Chuck's a sick man.Copy !req
163. (thud)
that's no excuse.Copy !req
164. (sighs)
he's my brother.Copy !req
165. He thinks
I'm a scumbag.Copy !req
166. There's nothing I can do
to change that.Copy !req
167. What else
is there to say?Copy !req
168. Wow. That's mature.Copy !req
169. Dalai lama's
got nothing on me.Copy !req
170. O-64, as in,Copy !req
171. "oh, to be 64 again!"Copy !req
172. O-64.
(indistinct conversations)Copy !req
173. All right. Next up...Copy !req
174. We got n-32.Copy !req
175. "n" as in "nancy reagan,"Copy !req
176. A first lady with
a lot of style.Copy !req
177. Anybody else seen
"hellcats of the navy"?Copy !req
178. All right. No winners yet?Copy !req
179. Okay, here's...Copy !req
180. B-2,
just like the b-2 bomber,Copy !req
181. The stealth...Copy !req
182. There's probably one
taking off over at
kirtland right now.Copy !req
183. We would never know
because it's stealthy.Copy !req
184. (feedback)
still no winners? No?Copy !req
185. Here we have...Copy !req
186. B-4, another "b."Copy !req
187. (chuckles) how about that?Copy !req
188. As in, "before too long,
we're gonna have
another winner."Copy !req
189. No? Nobody? Okay.Copy !req
190. All right.
(clears throat)Copy !req
191. And here comes...Copy !req
192. Hey,
it's our old friend "b."Copy !req
193. (chuckles) b-12.Copy !req
194. "b," as in, uh...Copy !req
195. "b," as in...Copy !req
196. "betrayal..."Copy !req
197. Benedict arnold
betrayed the United States.Copy !req
198. Still no winners.Copy !req
199. No?
(exhales sharply)Copy !req
200. (feedback)
okay.Copy !req
201. Here it is.Copy !req
202. Oh, what are the odds?Copy !req
203. Four b's in a row.
That's...Copy !req
204. B-7.Copy !req
205. "b" as in...Copy !req
206. "b" as in, "brother."Copy !req
207. Brother.Copy !req
208. B-7, "seven brides
for seven brothers."Copy !req
209. I'm sure a lot of you
have brothers.Copy !req
210. It's not like mine, though.Copy !req
211. Any winners yet?Copy !req
212. Take another look, okay?Copy !req
213. I'll wait.Copy !req
214. All I'm gonna say is,
if it's another "b,"Copy !req
215. Could have
a real problem here.Copy !req
216. And...Copy !req
217. (chuckling)
hey, it is another "b."Copy !req
218. B-5, as in,Copy !req
219. "boy, this 'b' thing is
really starting
to tick me off."Copy !req
220. "b" as in "battleship."
"b" as in "bourbon."Copy !req
221. "b" as in "belize,"Copy !req
222. Beautiful place,
so I've heard.Copy !req
223. I would love to go there.Copy !req
224. But, uh, let's face it,
that's never gonna happen.Copy !req
225. None of us is ever leaving
this godforsaken wasteland.Copy !req
226. Sorry.Copy !req
227. Scratch that.
Moving on.Copy !req
228. I mean,
what is it with this place?Copy !req
229. It's like living
inside an easy-bake oven.Copy !req
230. I mean, look out that window.Copy !req
231. It's like a soulless,Copy !req
232. Radioactive georgia o'keeffe
hellscape out there,Copy !req
233. Crawling with coral snakes
and scorpions and...Copy !req
234. You ever see the movie
the hills have eyes?Copy !req
235. It's a documentary!
(chuckles)Copy !req
236. God forbid
your car breaks down...Copy !req
237. You have to walk 10 steps.Copy !req
238. You got a melanoma
the size of a pineappleCopy !req
239. Where your head used to be.Copy !req
240. And so you ask, "why?"
why?Copy !req
241. If that's how I feel,
why do I live here?Copy !req
242. Why?
(feedback)Copy !req
243. Excuse me.Copy !req
244. Are you gonna read
that number?Copy !req
245. Yeah. I'm gonna read
your number.Copy !req
246. And it's another "b."
(laughs)Copy !req
247. It's another frigging "b."
boy, of course.Copy !req
248. Why not? Why not?Copy !req
249. (sighs)
and the next number...Copy !req
250. Uh, quick question,
who here knows
what a chicago sunroof is?Copy !req
251. Anybody?
You, sir? No? Okay.Copy !req
252. True story, uh, back home,
uh, there was this guy
named chet.Copy !req
253. Now,
chet was a real asshole.Copy !req
254. He might have
owed me some money.Copy !req
255. He might have slept
with my wife...Copy !req
256. Before she became
my ex-wife.Copy !req
257. The details don't matter.Copy !req
258. Suffice it to say,
I was wronged.Copy !req
259. All right, so,
one summer evening,Copy !req
260. I was out having
a few drinks,
one or two, maybe three.Copy !req
261. (chuckles)
you get the picture?Copy !req
262. And, uh, who do I see?
Chet.Copy !req
263. He drove up,
and he double-parkedCopy !req
264. Outside a dairy queen
and went in to get some
soft-serve.Copy !req
265. Now, chet drove,
and this will give you an ideaCopy !req
266. Of exactly what kind
of a douchebag this guy was,Copy !req
267. Drove a white pearlescent
bmw 7 seriesCopy !req
268. With white leather interior.Copy !req
269. (chuckles)
so, I saw that thing,Copy !req
270. And I had,
I'd had a few, like I said.Copy !req
271. And, uh...Copy !req
272. I climbed up top,Copy !req
273. And I may have...Copy !req
274. Defecated, uh,Copy !req
275. Through the sunroof.Copy !req
276. Not my finest hour,
I'll grant you that.Copy !req
277. But that's
what a chicago sunroof is.Copy !req
278. Now you know.
(chuckles)Copy !req
279. It's a real thing.Copy !req
280. I didn't make it up.Copy !req
281. I'm not the first person
to do it.Copy !req
282. There's a name for it.Copy !req
283. Guy wanted some soft-serve,
I gave him some soft-serve.Copy !req
284. I did not know
that his children
were in the backseat.Copy !req
285. There was a level of tint
on the windowsCopy !req
286. That I'll maintain to this dayCopy !req
287. Was not legal in an
illinois-licensed vehicle.Copy !req
288. But somehow,
that's on me,Copy !req
289. I guess.Copy !req
290. Who leaves two cub scouts
in a double-parked carCopy !req
291. With the engine running?Copy !req
292. Come on.Copy !req
293. Now, chet was connected,
see?Copy !req
294. Like, uh, cicero connected.Copy !req
295. So, usually, I'd be looking
at malicious mischief,Copy !req
296. Public intoxication,
disorderly conduct, maybe,Copy !req
297. But he's got the da
saying indecent exposure,Copy !req
298. Calling me a sex offender.
What?Copy !req
299. One little chicago sunroof,Copy !req
300. And suddenly
I'm charles manson?Copy !req
301. And that's where
it all went off the rails.Copy !req
302. I've been paying for it
ever since.Copy !req
303. That's why I'm here!Copy !req
304. I don't...Copy !req
305. You know what?
(sniffs)Copy !req
306. Any of this stuff you want,
come get it.Copy !req
307. Kitty-cat notebooks
for everybody.Copy !req
308. ♪ when I look out my windowCopy !req
309. ♪ there's so many sights
to seeCopy !req
310. ♪ and when I look in my windowCopy !req
311. ♪ yeahCopy !req
312. ♪ there are so many people
to beCopy !req
313. ♪ that it's strangeCopy !req
314. ♪ yeahCopy !req
315. ♪ I think it's strange
right nowCopy !req
316. ♪ you've got to pick up
every stitch ♪Copy !req
317. What can I get you?
Old style.Copy !req
318. Make it two.Copy !req
319. You got it.Copy !req
320. What happened to merna?
Merna?Copy !req
321. She's doing all right.Copy !req
322. She's my stepmom.Copy !req
323. She don't come in
much anymore.Copy !req
324. Tell her slippin' jimmy
says hello.Copy !req
325. Slippin' jimmy?Copy !req
326. Yeah, she'll know.Copy !req
327. I'll tell her.
That'll be $5.50.Copy !req
328. (high-pitched voice)
marco...Copy !req
329. You gorgeous
hunk of a man...Copy !req
330. How long
will you keep me waiting?Copy !req
331. (normal voice)
hmm! Wake up,
you fat son of a bitch.Copy !req
332. Bought you a beer.Copy !req
333. Jimmy?Copy !req
334. In the flesh.
(chuckles)Copy !req
335. Hey. (chuckles)Copy !req
336. (chuckles) so, I'm not
dark enough for you, huh?Copy !req
337. No, no.
I'm just saying
I don't see any color.Copy !req
338. I mean,
10 years in the desert,
you should look like, uh,Copy !req
339. Anthony quinn
in lawrence of arabia.Copy !req
340. (imitates auda abu tayi)
turks, they paid me
a golden treasure!Copy !req
341. (as auda abu tayi)
yet I am poor...
Because I am a...Copy !req
342. River to my people!
River to my people!Copy !req
343. (chuckles)
well, hey, I'm irish, okay?Copy !req
344. I spend my time
staying out of the sun.Copy !req
345. (chuckles) speaking of
pale sons of bitches,Copy !req
346. How's your brother
doing?Copy !req
347. Chuck's fine.Copy !req
348. Still working
for him?Copy !req
349. (clicks tongue)
sometimes.Copy !req
350. What about you, I mean,
besides falling asleep
on a barCopy !req
351. At 4:00
on a Wednesday afternoon?Copy !req
352. "lake michigan standpipe"?Copy !req
353. What's that?
My brother-in-law
owns the company.Copy !req
354. Wait. Hold it.
You got married?Copy !req
355. No, no, no.
My sister angle's husband.Copy !req
356. (chuckles) ah.
So, what the hell's
a standpipe?Copy !req
357. Standpipe,
you know what
a standpipe is.Copy !req
358. I don't think so.
Fire department comes.Copy !req
359. They stick
one end of the hose
on the hydrant.Copy !req
360. The other end goes
on the standpipe.Copy !req
361. The water
goes out the standpipe,Copy !req
362. Through the sprinklers,
and then douses the flames.Copy !req
363. It's important stuff.Copy !req
364. So, that's what
a standpipe is, huh?Copy !req
365. Well, it's a dry standpipe.
There's also
the wet standpipe.Copy !req
366. What's the difference?Copy !req
367. I don't know if I could
explain it to a layman.Copy !req
368. Excuse me.Copy !req
369. How's your mom?Copy !req
370. Oh, she passed away
about three years ago.Copy !req
371. Ah. That's too bad.
She was a great lady.Copy !req
372. Yeah.
From wisconsin, right?Copy !req
373. Yeah.
The funeral out there?Copy !req
374. No, it was here.Copy !req
375. Here?Copy !req
376. Yeah, well,
we were only in town
for a few days, so...Copy !req
377. You were in town.
You didn't look me up?
(sighs)Copy !req
378. Chuck was in the middle
of a big case,Copy !req
379. And, uh,
we couldn't stay around,
so...Copy !req
380. Can I get
you guys anything else?Copy !req
381. I'm good.
You want anything?Copy !req
382. Nah.
Your change here, too.Copy !req
383. Uh, yeah, okay.
Hey.Copy !req
384. Thank you.
(sighs)Copy !req
385. How's my cutlass running?Copy !req
386. Gets me around.Copy !req
387. Well, it's a classic.Copy !req
388. Little bodywork, paint job,
really be something.Copy !req
389. So, what you gonna do
while you're here?Copy !req
390. (inhales sharply)
I don't know.
See the sights, you know,Copy !req
391. Catch a cubbies game
from the bleachers,Copy !req
392. Get a hot dog
at henry's.Copy !req
393. (horn honks)
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.Copy !req
394. Uh-huh.Copy !req
395. (door closes)
correct.Copy !req
396. (sighs)
I'm gonna see
them tomorrow.Copy !req
397. Yeah, both of them.Copy !req
398. Okay. Okay, bye.Copy !req
399. Is he a regular?Copy !req
400. No.Copy !req
401. You're buying,
I'm selling.Copy !req
402. All right, then.Copy !req
403. All I'm asking
is that you take a look.Copy !req
404. I'm sorry, buddy,
no offense.Copy !req
405. I'm just, you know,
I'm not interested.Copy !req
406. (sighs)
come on, man.Copy !req
407. What's it gonna hurt
to take a look?Copy !req
408. It'll take you
two seconds.Copy !req
409. All right.Copy !req
410. All right.
Show me what you got.Copy !req
411. Boom.Copy !req
412. Okay.Copy !req
413. Do you see it?Copy !req
414. I see a kennedy
half-dollar.Copy !req
415. Which way
is he facing?Copy !req
416. Jfk's facing left.Copy !req
417. (chuckling) exactly.Copy !req
418. Hey, which way
is he supposed
to be facing?Copy !req
419. Right, he's supposed to be
facing right.Copy !req
420. Okay, so why,
why is this one
facing left?Copy !req
421. November 22, 1963,Copy !req
422. Kennedy is assassinated,
right?Copy !req
423. The whole nation
goes into mourning.Copy !req
424. They start naming
everything in sight
after him.Copy !req
425. And the mint wants in
on the act.Copy !req
426. So, in '64, they decide
to change the lincoln
half-dollarCopy !req
427. Into the kennedy
half-dollar.Copy !req
428. When they design it,
they put kennedy
facing right,Copy !req
429. Facing east,
just the way
they had lincoln.Copy !req
430. You know why?
Mmm-mmm.Copy !req
431. He symbolizes the dawn.Copy !req
432. It's why pretty much
every grave everywhere
faces east, you know?Copy !req
433. So the spirit
of the dead person faces
the rising sun.Copy !req
434. You know,
it's a death thing.
It's a burial thing.Copy !req
435. But there's one technician
in the denver mint, right?Copy !req
436. And this guy,
he believed in, uh,
the new frontier,Copy !req
437. Camelot,
the whole deal.Copy !req
438. So, the assassination
just destroyed him.Copy !req
439. When he sees that coin
with kennedy facing east,Copy !req
440. Facing the american past,
pissed him off.Copy !req
441. And so he went rogue.Copy !req
442. Without telling anybody,Copy !req
443. He flipped things around
so that kennedy
was facing west,Copy !req
444. Towards the new frontier,
the future.Copy !req
445. Now, the mint struck
about 3,000 of theseCopy !req
446. Before they figured it out.
They canned the guy.Copy !req
447. About 1,000 of them
made it out into
general circulation.Copy !req
448. They managed
to get most of them back,Copy !req
449. Melt them down, but...Copy !req
450. There are still...
(inhales sharply)Copy !req
451. 200 plus
floating around out there.Copy !req
452. What's that?
I didn't catch that.Copy !req
453. I didn't
say anything.Copy !req
454. Do you mind, buddy?
We're having a private
conversation here.Copy !req
455. (sighs) this one's not in
perfect condition, but...Copy !req
456. (breathes deeply)
on the open market,Copy !req
457. I'd say it's worth,
600 or 800 bucks.Copy !req
458. $800?Copy !req
459. Yeah, but...
(inhales sharply)
I'm hard up.Copy !req
460. So I'll take,
uh, $100 for it.Copy !req
461. You want me
to give you $100
for a half-dollar.Copy !req
462. I want you to give me $100
for an $800 coin.Copy !req
463. Yeah, I don't know, man.
You know?Copy !req
464. I'm gonna go drain the snake.
Think about it.Copy !req
465. This guy's playing me,
right?Copy !req
466. Definitely.Copy !req
467. (sighs)
slick son of a bitch.Copy !req
468. You know,
I should...Copy !req
469. You know what?
I know this guy
on wabash,Copy !req
470. Coin dealer,
a friend of my uncle's.Copy !req
471. Hey, joey,
can I use your phone?Copy !req
472. Local call.
Keep it short.Copy !req
473. Right on.Copy !req
474. Let's see. Man.Copy !req
475. I'm gonna call this guy,
and when he tells me
this is a scam,Copy !req
476. You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna call the copsCopy !req
477. And get this scumbag
thrown in the can.Copy !req
478. You're my witness,
okay?Copy !req
479. Facing west.
(chuckles)Copy !req
480. My hairy ass.Copy !req
481. Hey. How you doing?Copy !req
482. Yeah, it's alvin,
dave tanner's nephew.Copy !req
483. (chuckles)
yeah, mmm-hmm.Copy !req
484. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
485. Hey, this is gonna
sound like the beginning
of a bad joke,Copy !req
486. But, uh, I'm in this bar,
and I've got this guyCopy !req
487. Spinning this
cock-and-bull storyCopy !req
488. About this, uh,
50-cent piece
he's trying to sell me.Copy !req
489. He says, uh...Copy !req
490. Says kennedy's
supposed to beCopy !req
491. Facing west
or something.Copy !req
492. Yeah?Copy !req
493. Yeah.
(clears throat)Copy !req
494. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
495. At the tone,
the time will be 5:11 p.M.Copy !req
496. Yeah. That's what he said,
denver.Copy !req
497. (scoffs)
Jesus. No kidding?Copy !req
498. At the tone...
Well, listen, I got to go.Copy !req
499. All right?
Uh, thank you.Copy !req
500. And I owe you one.
(chuckles)Copy !req
501. (clears throat)
thanks, joey.Copy !req
502. So, what did he say?Copy !req
503. Yeah, you know,
he didn't really know much.Copy !req
504. I'll tell you what,
I'll give you $50 for it.Copy !req
505. $50?
I'm taking a bath at $100.Copy !req
506. All right. Okay.
Look, I got...Copy !req
507. $64 right here.Copy !req
508. It's an $800 coin,
okay?Copy !req
509. I'm not gonna sell it
to you for $64.Copy !req
510. Okay, if you wait for me,
I'll get you 100 bucks.Copy !req
511. I don't know.
Okay.Copy !req
512. Hey, buddy,
I got 75 bucks right here.Copy !req
513. I, sorry.
I need $100.Copy !req
514. Hey, slick,
nobody's talking to you.Copy !req
515. Mind your own business,
okay?Copy !req
516. Come on.
Cash money, $80.Copy !req
517. Look,
if you give me a chance,
I'll be back with $110.Copy !req
518. How long will that be?
I don't know.Copy !req
519. I got to catch a train,
come back, hour,Copy !req
520. Hour and a half
at the most.
Yeah, you know, this guyCopy !req
521. Was getting ready
to call the cops on you.
No, I was not.Copy !req
522. What?
Why would you do that?Copy !req
523. (stammers) now this guy
is making shit up!Copy !req
524. Hey,
I got $110 right here.
That's...Copy !req
525. Sold.
No! No, no, no,
no, no, no.Copy !req
526. This guy's got the cash.
Now...Copy !req
527. Don't do that.
Here, take care of that.Copy !req
528. That's history
right there.Copy !req
529. Hey, you can't do that.
Hey, money talks.Copy !req
530. (chuckling)
you lost. It's over.Copy !req
531. No, it's not over.
No, that's crap.Copy !req
532. And where do you think
you're going, huh?Copy !req
533. Hey, back off, dude.Copy !req
534. Yeah, I'll back off
when you give me
the jfk back.Copy !req
535. Hey, joey, call the cops.Copy !req
536. This guy just tried
to rip me off.Copy !req
537. Hey, this guy's a liar.
I did not rip anybody off.Copy !req
538. Yes, you did!
You come back in here,Copy !req
539. And your ass is grass!Copy !req
540. I got friends,
buddy!Copy !req
541. Do you hear me?
You double-dealing
bastard!Copy !req
542. I got friends!Copy !req
543. You are
so beautiful!Copy !req
544. Hey, everybody,
next round's on us!Copy !req
545. All right.
Are you listening?Copy !req
546. Can you
keep a secret?Copy !req
547. Yeah. Absolutely.Copy !req
548. Okay,
his name is idi abbassi.Copy !req
549. (clears throat)
he's 27 years old.Copy !req
550. He's a nigerian prince,
all right?Copy !req
551. He's worth,
conservatively,
$400 million.Copy !req
552. The dictatorship
of equatorial uqbar orbisCopy !req
553. Is detaining him
on trumped-up charges.Copy !req
554. Now, the abbassi family,
they're going crazy.Copy !req
555. They will reward
whoever helps them
get their boy back.Copy !req
556. The hitch is,
the banks have
frozen their...Copy !req
557. Assets, I'm talking
irish sweeps tickets,Copy !req
558. A whole trunk
full of 'em.Copy !req
559. They're just sitting
at o'hare,
impounded in customs.Copy !req
560. Now, I know what
you're saying, "so what?"Copy !req
561. I can leave this as security,
but you got to understand,Copy !req
562. This violin is my livelihood.
It's a valuable antique.Copy !req
563. What do you mean
it doesn't belong to you?Copy !req
564. I'll pay you
900 bucks for this,
cash on the barrel.Copy !req
565. I don't know.
I hate to part with it.Copy !req
566. It's been in my family
for years.Copy !req
567. You can keep
a secret, right?
Yeah, absolutely.Copy !req
568. But the point is,
you need a good front,Copy !req
569. So you're gonna have
the most return
on your dollars.Copy !req
570. But I know
this customs officer...Copy !req
571. That money,
then make it an investment.Copy !req
572. If the price is right.Copy !req
573. And I'm all
about investments,
all about what's coming next.Copy !req
574. Hey, kid,
help me get my wife's carCopy !req
575. Out of this bad neighborhood.Copy !req
576. Sir, sir,
could you help me?Copy !req
577. Tell me,
are these today's numbers?Copy !req
578. Now, none of this
was strictly legal,Copy !req
579. And the import taxes
would have been a killer...
Have at it.Copy !req
580. So he had to find
a way to get the money
into the countryCopy !req
581. Without anyone
knowing about it.Copy !req
582. He coated the cash
with this black stuff,Copy !req
583. Vectrol paste.Copy !req
584. And the only way
to get it off is with
a special chemical.Copy !req
585. It's not cheap,
but the upside?Copy !req
586. The upside is huge.
(chuckles)Copy !req
587. Can you
keep a secret?Copy !req
588. You know, the guy
in "dances with wolves"?Copy !req
589. A guy like you,
who's got some money,Copy !req
590. Who's got some money
to throw around...Copy !req
591. Now, I know
what you're saying,
"who cares?"Copy !req
592. No matter which one wins,
we're gonna get a piece.Copy !req
593. He's got
a gambling problem.Copy !req
594. Nobody can ever
come after you,
but you get the profit.Copy !req
595. The price is right.
It's a win-win for you.Copy !req
596. It's a lose-lose
for everybody else.Copy !req
597. You want to tell the guy
you've got a 14.Copy !req
598. He checks...
That's why we're getting
a consortium together.Copy !req
599. Realizes he's...
It's not gonna just be you.Copy !req
600. It's gonna be
a piece of the pie.Copy !req
601. But you're gonna own a full
mountain range, guaranteed.Copy !req
602. Can you keep...Copy !req
603. A secret?Copy !req
604. 'cause I really...Copy !req
605. Really shouldn't...Copy !req
606. Shouldn't be
telling you this.Copy !req
607. Hey.Copy !req
608. Hey.
(scoffs)Copy !req
609. You are not
kevin costner.Copy !req
610. I was last night.Copy !req
611. Jesus.Copy !req
612. Asshole.Copy !req
613. I mean, seriously?Copy !req
614. (scoffs)
oh, my god.Copy !req
615. Lucianne? Lucianne!
What?Copy !req
616. He's not kevin costner.
What?Copy !req
617. Well, who's this guy?Copy !req
618. Uh,
not kevin costner's manager.Copy !req
619. Oh, come on.
Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
620. Uh, hang on.
Got to get my dress on.Copy !req
621. Come on. Get the hell
out of this dump.Copy !req
622. So, are you sure
he's not a manager?Copy !req
623. Yes, luci,
I am sure.Copy !req
624. But he said
he was gonna give me
his card.Copy !req
625. Does this look
like a manager's place?Copy !req
626. Maybe.
Can I interest you ladies
in some mimosas?Copy !req
627. (sighs)
at least stick around
long enough to get dressed.Copy !req
628. Oh, oh.
Screw you.Copy !req
629. If you build it,
I will come.Copy !req
630. Lucy, come on.Copy !req
631. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
632. (doorknob rattling)
Come on.Copy !req
633. (inhales sharply)
that door sticks.Copy !req
634. (rattling continues)
yeah, okay. I got it.Copy !req
635. Okay.Copy !req
636. (grunts) go. Go.
Okay.Copy !req
637. You have 15 messages.Copy !req
638. (beep)
This is greta muller.Copy !req
639. I wanted to check to see
if my wi...
(beep)Copy !req
640. My name's
gary albert arnold.Copy !req
641. I'd like to
discuss making a...Copy !req
642. (beep)
Hi, mr. Mcgill.Copy !req
643. I'm calling on behalf
of my mother.Copy !req
644. She's in assisted living,
and...Copy !req
645. Uh, yes,
mr. Mcgill, this is
manny hollinger again.Copy !req
646. (clears throat)
uh, I hate to...Copy !req
647. (beep)
Hey, mr. Mcgill...Copy !req
648. (sighs)
so, what's it gonna be
today, pal?Copy !req
649. (beep)
I'm up for anything
and everything.Copy !req
650. Marco, I'm sorry.
I got to go back.Copy !req
651. What?
(chuckles)Copy !req
652. Uh, it's be great,
and I appreciate
your hospitality,Copy !req
653. But a week's
gonna have to do it.Copy !req
654. I got to go home.Copy !req
655. I already
called in sick.Copy !req
656. (sighs)
come on, man.Copy !req
657. This is home.
You hate it out there.Copy !req
658. What do you
got to go back to?Copy !req
659. My clients.Copy !req
660. (chuckling)
clients.Copy !req
661. What, what are you,
like a gigolo or something?Copy !req
662. Uh, marco...
(clears throat)Copy !req
663. I'm a lawyer.Copy !req
664. What?Copy !req
665. Honest to god.Copy !req
666. I do elder law,
which is like
wills and estates.Copy !req
667. So you're ripping off
old people?Copy !req
668. No, I'm not
ripping off old people.Copy !req
669. I'm not ripping off
anybody.Copy !req
670. Holy crap.
Slippin' jimmy's a lawyer?Copy !req
671. (laughs) no wonder
you want to go back.Copy !req
672. I mean, you got to be
king of the desert,Copy !req
673. Driving around town
in a white caddy,
making bank.Copy !req
674. I'm not making bank.Copy !req
675. I'm making a living,
more or less.Copy !req
676. A living?Copy !req
677. All due respect,
you're a lawyerCopy !req
678. And you're not making bank,
you're doing it wrong.Copy !req
679. Well, I'm building something.
Takes time.Copy !req
680. Well, you're gonna
build something,
build it out here.Copy !req
681. I mean, lawyers
in chicago make plenty,
I assure you.Copy !req
682. Yeah, I don't know
what to tell you, marco.
I...Copy !req
683. Chuck's in albuquerque.Copy !req
684. Again, all due respect,
chuck's a stuck-up
douchebag.Copy !req
685. I hate to break it to you,
but he doesn't even
like you.Copy !req
686. He's my brother.Copy !req
687. Okay. (chuckles)Copy !req
688. I get it, family.Copy !req
689. You got to go back.
But...Copy !req
690. Remember this?Copy !req
691. The rolex thing.
What...Copy !req
692. Whatever happened
to the guy who used
to sell us those?Copy !req
693. Jin kang?
He got deported.Copy !req
694. This is the last one.Copy !req
695. I say we go for it.Copy !req
696. No.
Oh, come on.Copy !req
697. Last time, we did what?
$600?Copy !req
698. The hot streak we're on,
I bet we break a grand,
easy.Copy !req
699. I could
lend you some cash.Copy !req
700. I don't need the money,
jimmy.Copy !req
701. I need this.Copy !req
702. Come on.
You say you're happy
doing wills or whatever,Copy !req
703. Good for you, man,
seriously.Copy !req
704. But I got to tell you,
standpipes ain't cutting it
for me, man.Copy !req
705. I got nothing, jimmy.Copy !req
706. Give me this.Copy !req
707. Give me this, man.
I can't do it.Copy !req
708. Come on.
Give me this.Copy !req
709. Marco.
Give me this.Copy !req
710. Come on. Come on.
Buddy, listen to me.Copy !req
711. I'm listening.
Come on.Copy !req
712. Hey.
Just one last time.Copy !req
713. Come on.
I'm not being hypnotized.Copy !req
714. No? (laughs) okay.
Come on, one more time.Copy !req
715. I can't do it.
Just one more,
one more.Copy !req
716. Hey, listen to me.
Just listen to you.Copy !req
717. Yeah, I'm listening.
Come on.
No.Copy !req
718. (to tune of
smoke on the water)
♪ dun, dun, dunCopy !req
719. ♪ dun, dun, dun, du-dunCopy !req
720. ♪ dun, dun, dun
dun, dun, dun-dunCopy !req
721. ♪ dun, dun, dun, du-dunCopy !req
722. Yeah!Copy !req
723. It's got to come
from the gut, man.Copy !req
724. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
725. Oh, that's crazy.
(howls)Copy !req
726. Just like a wolf.
Go ahead.Copy !req
727. (howls)
no, deeper, deeper.Copy !req
728. Yeah, and you do that
right at the moment of,Copy !req
729. You know, pure joy...Copy !req
730. Yeah.
And it will
escalate it 10...Copy !req
731. (howls)
10 times.Copy !req
732. There's something...
Hey.Copy !req
733. It's prehistoric.
Hey, hey. Look.Copy !req
734. $50, $200, $400.Copy !req
735. Whose is it?
I don't know.Copy !req
736. (chuckles)
there's got to be
1,000 bucks in here.Copy !req
737. (chuckles)
somebody must have...Copy !req
738. Oh.Copy !req
739. Oh, damn.Copy !req
740. Is he, uh...
I don't know.Copy !req
741. Hey, buddy,
you with us?Copy !req
742. Look, the guy's
just had too many.Copy !req
743. I say we move on.Copy !req
744. You want to split this?Copy !req
745. Marco, you okay?Copy !req
746. Marco?Copy !req
747. What,
do you know this guy?Copy !req
748. Hey, call 911.Copy !req
749. Call 911!Copy !req
750. Hey!Copy !req
751. I need an ambulance.
My friend's
having a heart attack.Copy !req
752. (sighs)
we're in an alley.Copy !req
753. Uh, southeast of lasalle
and shermer.Copy !req
754. No, I don't know.Copy !req
755. He was like this
when I found him.Copy !req
756. (gasps)
hey, hold...Copy !req
757. Marco, marco,
you with me?Copy !req
758. You with me?
(slurring) I screwed up.Copy !req
759. No, you did,
you did good, buddy.Copy !req
760. Just hold on, all right?
They're on their way.Copy !req
761. They'll be here
in a minute.Copy !req
762. Jimmy,
you know what?Copy !req
763. Just save your breath,
okay?Copy !req
764. You're gonna be fine.Copy !req
765. This was the greatest week
of my life.Copy !req
766. Hey.Copy !req
767. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
768. Hang in there! Hey!Copy !req
769. Hey! Hey!Copy !req
770. Hey, wake up, man!Copy !req
771. Come on!
Marco, buddy!Copy !req
772. Help!Copy !req
773. Anybody!Copy !req
774. Marco!Copy !req
775. Hey, jimmy.
Oh, hey, bud.Copy !req
776. Can I bum one?Copy !req
777. Is that his?Copy !req
778. Yeah.Copy !req
779. His mom gave it to me.Copy !req
780. Thought it
looked familiar.Copy !req
781. I figured
I'd wear it today, but...Copy !req
782. (clicks tongue)
I don't know.Copy !req
783. I'm not a big
ring guy, so...Copy !req
784. Still. Could be worth
a couple of bucks.Copy !req
785. Better head back.Copy !req
786. See you inside.Copy !req
787. Hey.
Is this ferris bueller?Copy !req
788. Speaking.
(chuckles)Copy !req
789. I don't want to interrupt
your big day off.Copy !req
790. Just checking in.
What are you up to?Copy !req
791. You know,
burning down the place.Copy !req
792. I wouldn't expect
any less.Copy !req
793. So, whatever it was,
did you get it out
of your system?Copy !req
794. Yep, all gone.Copy !req
795. Good. I want to run
something by you.Copy !req
796. The sandpiper case,
it's getting too big
for hhm.Copy !req
797. Howard's decided to partner
with another firm.Copy !req
798. Davis and main.
You heard of them?Copy !req
799. Sure, up in santa fe.
Right.Copy !req
800. Well,
they've heard of you, too,
and they're interested.Copy !req
801. They want to make you
an offer contingent
on an interview.Copy !req
802. They've got a partner-track
position in mind.Copy !req
803. Wait. (chuckles) what?Copy !req
804. Partner track?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
805. I'm talking about
there's an office
in santa feCopy !req
806. With your name on it,Copy !req
807. Or there could be,Copy !req
808. And you'd be working
on your case.Copy !req
809. (chuckles)
I, well, I...Copy !req
810. I don't even, uh...Copy !req
811. Chuck wouldn't like it.Copy !req
812. Chuck has no say
in this.Copy !req
813. You wouldn't be working
for hhm,Copy !req
814. And chuck can't tell
davis and main
who to hire.Copy !req
815. Why me?Copy !req
816. Is this like
a tax write-off
or a charity thing?Copy !req
817. What's the angle,
huh?Copy !req
818. Jimmy, we've been talking
to your clients,Copy !req
819. The sandpiper residents,Copy !req
820. And they ask about you
every chance they get.Copy !req
821. I don't know what it is,
but you have a way with them.Copy !req
822. (chuckles) hey.
Old people love me.Copy !req
823. So, sounds good?Copy !req
824. Kim, I can't imagine
what you did to
make this happen.Copy !req
825. Thank you.
I didn't do anything...Copy !req
826. Much.Copy !req
827. And believe it or not,
howard's been
pushing this, too.Copy !req
828. Good, old howard.Copy !req
829. Listen, we're gonna be down
in judge murray's courtCopy !req
830. On Thursday at 11:00.Copy !req
831. The davis and main people
will be there.Copy !req
832. It'd be the perfect chance
for you to meet them.Copy !req
833. Thursday at 11:00.
All right, I'll be there.Copy !req
834. Thanks, kim, really.Copy !req
835. I'll see you then.Copy !req
836. All the originals
need to be copied and filed.Copy !req
837. See, I've written
right here on the box,
"copy and file."Copy !req
838. That's to make it
as clear as possible.Copy !req
839. Got it, mr. Mcgill.
Anything else?
(clears throat)Copy !req
840. Well,
on the grocery front,Copy !req
841. Almost everything
was right this time.Copy !req
842. Great.
Almost.Copy !req
843. Um, it's a small thing,
but to my taste,Copy !req
844. The, uh,
granny smith apples
are a bit too tart.Copy !req
845. Those are
the green ones, right?
Right.Copy !req
846. I prefer the red ones,
but not red delicious.Copy !req
847. Those are
generally tasteless.Copy !req
848. Fujis should be
in season.Copy !req
849. (chuckles)
it's not a major issue,
but...Copy !req
850. Yeah.
Fuji apples.Copy !req
851. Okay.Copy !req
852. Oh, and I'd like
to try soy milk,Copy !req
853. So maybe
a half gallon of that.Copy !req
854. You got it.Copy !req
855. Well, thank you,
ernesto.Copy !req
856. I appreciate
your attention to detail.Copy !req
857. Do you need to
write any of this down?Copy !req
858. 'cause it's okay
if you do.Copy !req
859. You know,
just to be sure.Copy !req
860. So, fuji apples.Copy !req
861. Hey, ernie.Copy !req
862. Hey.
How you doing, man?Copy !req
863. Good, good.Copy !req
864. So, howard's got you
looking after chuck, huh?Copy !req
865. Yeah.
It's a few extra bucks,
you know?Copy !req
866. How's he doing?Copy !req
867. Seems okay,
like usual.Copy !req
868. I'd say
we could grab a beer,Copy !req
869. But they're waiting
on all that paperwork
back at the office,Copy !req
870. You know how it is.
Don't I, though?
(chuckles)Copy !req
871. See you, jimmy.Copy !req
872. Uh, see you 'round,
ernie.Copy !req
873. You done business
with him before?Copy !req
874. Right.Copy !req
875. Yeah. I'll be there.Copy !req
876. Davis and main
and mcgill.Copy !req
877. Great to meet you.
(clears throat)Copy !req
878. Nice to meet you, gentlemen.Copy !req
879. (coughs)
it's good to meet you.Copy !req
880. Nice...Copy !req
881. Well, that was quick.Copy !req
882. No charge.
Help me out here.Copy !req
883. Did I dream it,
or did I have $1,600,000
on my desk in cash?Copy !req
884. When I close my eyes,
I can still see it.Copy !req
885. It's burned into
my retinas like
I was staring into the sun.Copy !req
886. No one on god's green earth
knew we had it.Copy !req
887. We could have
split it 50/50.Copy !req
888. We could have gone home
with $800,000 each,
tax-free.Copy !req
889. Your point being?Copy !req
890. Why didn't we?
What stopped us?Copy !req
891. I remember you saying
something about doing
the right thing.Copy !req
892. I don't even know
what that means.
(chuckles)Copy !req
893. You want to know
why I didn't take
that money?Copy !req
894. Is that
what you're asking?Copy !req
895. Yeah,
that's what I'm asking.Copy !req
896. Me, personally,
I was hired to do a job.Copy !req
897. I did it.
That's as far as it goes.Copy !req
898. Yeah. Well,
I know what stopped me.Copy !req
899. And you know what?
It's never
stopping me again.Copy !req
900. (to tune of
smoke on the water)
♪ mnh-mnh-mnhCopy !req
901. ♪ mnh, mnh, mnh-mnhCopy !req
902. ♪ mnh, mnh, mnh, mnh-mnhCopy !req
903. (smoke on the water plays)
♪ mnh, mnh, mnh-mnh
mnh, mnh, mnh-mnhCopy !req
904. ♪ mnh, mnh, mnh-mnhCopy !req