BEEF 2x2

1. - Are you sure you guys don't want some? - No, thank you, love.

2. I'm... intolerant.

3. Uh, my... my stepmom can't eat peanuts.

4. She actually almost died on a cruise. It was... it was crazy.

5. That was crazy, yeah.

6. So what, uh, what's on your mind? What can we do for you? What's up?

7. You wanna go first?

8. No, you go.

9. Okay. Um...

10. Well, as you guys know,

11. Ashley's been an asset to the club's F&B department

12. for almost two years.

13. There's literally no reason why I would know that.

14. We, um...

15. We're very thankful for... for her contributions.

16. - You wanna go? - You go.

17. Okay.

18. Well, uh,

19. given her valuable contributions,

20. we, um, couldn't help but wonder

21. if there aren't maybe other opportunities

22. that could better fit her, uh,

23. expertise.

24. Well, given she never graduated,

25. I think she fits pretty perfectly where she is.

26. Well, if I may say this, Josh,

27. it seems like with all the changes at the club,

28. the new owner and what have you,

29. it would be very beneficial to everyone

30. for the status quo to be maintained vis-à-vis what has transpired.

31. Mm-hmm.

32. Well, I don't know what you think transpired, Austin,

33. but this is... this is really not how we do things around here.

34. Yeah. Look, if she's unsatisfied,

35. you know, we can ask around.

36. Maybe there'll be a motel in the area

37. that's willing to hire someone without a high school diploma.

38. - Hey, that's uncalled-for, man. - This whole meeting is uncalled-for, man.

39. Okay, I think it's time for you guys to go.

40. This is really a human resources issue.

41. You can tell your side, and we'll tell ours.

42. We'll tell our side.

43. And our side is that we were at home having a heated discussion.

44. - A debate. - A lively debate amongst husband and wife...

45. - In our home. - ... when we saw two employees trespassing.

46. Sneaking around, which is illegal.

47. - If it's not, blackmailing is. - Yes, exactly.

48. Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit.

49. Sorry, I'll turn it up.

50. - Enough, fucking bitch! - Don't touch me!

51. Stop! Stop it!

52. Stay the fuck away from me!

53. - Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit! - Let me go!

54. - That's enough, fucking bitch! - Don't fucking touch me!

55. Stop it!

56. - Stay the fuck away from me! - Lindsay, I'm sick of this shit!

57. Let me go!

58. - Enough, fucking bitch! - Don't fucking touch me!

59. So what do you want?

60. Holy shit!

61. 45K, ten days paid vacation, and fucking health insurance.

62. We're set. We are set for life.

63. For sure.

64. Hey, when we get home, can you help me find a good doctor?

65. I wonder if they can bundle something with the cyst surgery.

66. Do I have any weird moles they can remove?

67. What's wrong?

68. Nothing. You got a big one right by your scapula.

69. Um, are you feeling... guilty or something?

70. 'Cause... we're not bad people. They are.

71. Yeah, totally. They suck.

72. Late-stage capitalism, just like you said.

73. I mean, we agreed to do this for our future baby.

74. No, I know.

75. It just feels like we left a lot on the table,

76. negotiation-wise.

77. - All we need is health insurance. - Mm-hmm.

78. Anything more and it sounds like blackmail.

79. I just wonder if maybe we could've gotten something for me, too, you know?

80. Oh.

81. I'm just now realizing that we didn't even think about that.

82. - Do you wanna go back? - No, it's too late now.

83. Fine. It's fine.

84. Just... it just felt weird, is all.

85. You know what feels weird is this growing cyst inside me

86. that could become a medical emergency at any given moment, but okay.

87. No, you're right. You're right, you're right, you're right.

88. I'm sorry.

89. I can't imagine how scary that is.

90. Yeah, it's really scary.

91. Let's never fight like this again, okay?

92. Mm-hmm.

93. I love you.

94. I love you too.

95. All employees must maintain the highest standards of conduct

96. both during and outside of work hours.

97. Any behavior that may harm the company may be grounds for termination.

98. Yeah, we really gotta update that.

99. Yeah.

100. The video looks so much worse than what actually happened, right?

101. - I mean, it's like they zoomed in and... - Yeah.

102. I mean, the technology is just so fucked up.

103. You sure you wanna eat those? God knows what they put in them.

104. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with kids these days?

105. Entitlement.

106. If I had pulled this shit at Soho House,

107. Kevin Nader would've cut my fucking bollocks off.

108. Kevin was a good boss.

109. Yeah, I've come to realize now why he ran such a tight ship.

110. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ow. My QL's cramping up.

111. - Use the foam roller. - Ow!

112. Ow!

113. Ow.

114. These fucking kids don't know who they messed with.

115. We have so many more years' experience being petty.

116. No, no, no. No, listen. We're not gonna make it worse.

117. We're lucky all she wants is health insurance.

118. When I was at Oliver Peoples, I made everyone hate this one kid

119. until he quit.

120. He had no idea it was me. Mark Ritter.

121. What a cunt.

122. Stop.

123. Promoting her is the only move. Done.

124. They're just gonna get away with it? No consequences?

125. Linds, if that video got out, I'd be fired in two seconds.

126. Josh, they are going to lord this over us for the rest of our lives.

127. No one's lording, okay? There's no lording.

128. I'm gonna promote her tomorrow. She deletes the video. We move on.

129. Until they surprise us with a backup the next time they want something.

130. I can only put out the present fire, not the nonexistent one.

131. Or you could prevent the next fire

132. by chopping down these two unbelievably shit trees.

133. What do you want me to do? We can't fire her. We can't call the cops.

134. Uh...

135. Uh...

136. All right. Crazy thought.

137. What if you quit?

138. - Linds... - No, I... I'm...

139. You know, hear me out. If...

140. If you leave the club,

141. the video is of no use to them, right?

142. Okay. And then what?

143. Where... where am I gonna get a job? How are we gonna pay for this place?

144. We'll sell it.

145. We can downsize.

146. - Really? - Yeah.

147. Are you kidding me? You would not be happy downsizing.

148. Look around. It's all upsize. All upsize.

149. I know it sounds mad, but this could be a fresh start for us.

150. We could take out a loan, get credit cards.

151. We'd have time to actually enjoy things.

152. We could go to concerts. You could play music again.

153. I don't know.

154. Maybe this is exactly what we needed to get back on track.

155. Can you just consider it genuinely for a moment?

156. I mean...

157. I'm... I'm gonna promote her tomorrow.

158. Okay? It's gonna be all right. It's gonna be all right.

159. I let people win every day.

160. We'll manage it. It's... literally my job.

161. General... general manager.

162. Yeah.

163. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

164. Come on, Deb. I'm trying... I'm trying...

165. I've never missed a day.

166. Did Lindsay say something about the 30% discount?

167. - Because that was a good deal. - No. No, Deb.

168. - No, I stand by that. - Deb, you've been great.

169. You've been a wonderful member of the team. This is Park.

170. - It's... it's purely fiscal. - Fuck your fiscal, Josh!

171. Okay, Deb. I know that emotions are really high right now.

172. - You have every right to be angry. - Sixteen years, Josh!

173. You have every right to be frustrated, but try to take a breath for a second.

174. It's a bad situation for all of us. You've been a great member of the team...

175. Fucking ridiculous.

176. I know I've put a lot on your plate.

177. And you've always delivered.

178. The new guy sucks, Josh.

179. Ashley always had that yogurt honey bar I liked.

180. She had a great face too.

181. Yeah, we had to find somebody to cover bev cart last minute.

182. But it's no excuse. You're absolutely right.

183. All right. Can you comp the drinks at least?

184. Let me take care of that. Call you back.

185. He's taking care of it. Put the fear of God in him.

186. Hey, there she is.

187. Hi. Sorry, is now a good time?

188. Yeah, sure. No, I wanted to check in with you right when you got in.

189. How we doing? Everything to your liking?

190. - Oh, yeah. Thanks. - Good.

191. Please close the door and have a seat and...

192. - Have a little chit-chat. - Um...

193. So...

194. So, uh, how do you wanna go about this?

195. Do you wanna delete the video now?

196. Or do you wanna wait till you settle in more?

197. Uh...

198. Yeah, either way.

199. Um, I actually went ahead and took on some of Deb's workload.

200. - Oh, you don't have to do that. - No, no, I want to.

201. No, that's manager stuff, so it's okay.

202. Oh, but, um, I... I did it, so...

203. This one goes with this one. Oh.

204. Wrong... Well, um, yeah. Just... yeah.

205. If you just give them the ol' autograph, I'll mail them to finance to cut checks.

206. Yeah, awesome. Uh, FYI, though,

207. we can't pay M&L Pony Rides 'cause they don't exist anymore.

208. M died.

209. And we already paid them. This invoice is old.

210. Sorry, I... I didn't see an updated one in Deb's files, so...

211. Yeah, a lot of Deb's most up-to-date files were in her head, unfortunately.

212. Yeah, a lot of these are filled out wrong. I'll go through them.

213. No, I can do it. There wasn't an orientation.

214. Hey, Ashley, you won. It's okay. You won.

215. You don't have to do any of this. You just have to delete the video, okay?

216. Yeah, okay.

217. Um...

218. Here.

219. Delete. Done.

220. And the recently deleted?

221. Oh, yeah. Duh. Uh...

222. I assume you backed it up to the cloud, but there's not much I can do about that.

223. Uh...

224. Well,

225. you could walk me through everything and, like,

226. you know, get me familiar with my responsibilities and whatnot.

227. Only if you have time. Not trying to force you.

228. No, no, no. We'll get a... an orientation on the books.

229. - Great. - Okay.

230. Anything else you need?

231. Um... I don't think so.

232. - Okay. - Oh!

233. Could I have one of those real name thingies for my office?

234. Copy that.

235. Thanks.

236. Hey.

237. You're a really good GM.

238. Oh, nice. Appreciate that.

239. See you.

240. Oh my God. She's lording.

241. She's fucking lording.

242. Here are three common mistakes everyone makes with a glute bridge.

243. See how my knees are rolling forward right now?

244. - Mm-hmm. - Stack them above your ankles.

245. Boom. That is a glute exercise, not a lower back one.

246. I'm working right now.

247. - You okay? - Sorry. I know you're busy.

248. I, uh, was gonna go during lunch, but I have an orientation now.

249. Damn, we're both so busy today.

250. Yeah. Can you please do this for me? Our whole future's riding on this job.

251. Why are you so stressed? We have the videos still.

252. I know, but I still have to do a good job.

253. If someone talks shit and the owner fires me,

254. then I can't do my surgery, and then I lose my health insurance,

255. and you can't get yours, and then we can't pay our bills,

256. and then we're doing ASMR mukbangs in my car for rent money,

257. so can you please go to H&M?

258. Hello? Did I lose you?

259. Sorry, reception's weird. Yeah, I'll go to H&M.

260. Oh my gosh. Thank you, thank you.

261. Hey, I love you.

262. God, I'm gonna start crying just talking about it,

263. but our silent auction raised over $100,000 for Save the Frogs.

264. That's all thanks to you, Ava.

265. Oh, stop, it was a team effort. Linds, could you check on the food?

266. - Could you check on the food? - Mm-hmm.

267. Oh my God, people went so crazy bidding on that dinner with Woosh.

268. I mean, he's so fucking hot.

269. I don't even like tennis, and I'm taking lessons.

270. I think he has a crush on me.

271. He sent me a little text. I would never, of course.

272. Oh, sweetie, he texted all of us.

273. He's gonna send a few more flirty texts,

274. then try to sell you skincare.

275. Yeah.

276. Right, I mean, that's why I didn't reply.

277. Ava, did you buy anything from Woosh? Your skin looks amazing.

278. Aw, thanks.

279. No, same old routine.

280. Just a little Aquaphor before bed.

281. Linds, you should talk to Woosh about the travel packages.

282. They're only 40K,

283. and Korean lasers knock, like, ten years off your face.

284. Right, yeah.

285. Well, that's a good deal. I should... I'll look into that.

286. Before I forget, could you tell Josh to book the conference room next week?

287. It is so hard to focus in here.

288. Do you know what, Ava?

289. We actually promoted someone

290. for this very reason.

291. Oh yeah?

292. Yeah. Her name's Ashley Miller.

293. Let me give you her cell.

294. Any requests you have, grievances, honestly, even just personal errands,

295. you can just reach out to her directly.

296. You can think of her as a personal concierge.

297. That is such a great idea.

298. I know, right?

299. Right.

300. I'm gonna go and pinch a cig from someone, but you all carry on.

301. When did she start smoking?

302. There's gonna be a lot of people, and the event's gonna come up fast.

303. You'll need to update accounts payable

304. and make sure that quarterly projections track

305. with the allocation of the Carnival feathers.

306. You following me so far?

307. Got it.

308. Now, the way that Deb and I liked to work together for the last 16 years,

309. we would give our vendors enough lead time,

310. given the supply-chain issues

311. that come with delivering a luxurious evening of tropical dreams.

312. You understand?

313. Yes. Got it.

314. SCM-wise, are you the point for towels?

315. - I think so. - You are not.

316. Towels are vendor-managed inventory.

317. I was gonna say.

318. Oh, I'm so sorry.

319. You know, Josh didn't give me much of a heads-up about your promotion.

320. Yeah, no, it all happened so fast.

321. It's a big step up from beverage cart.

322. Uh, where'd you go to college?

323. Uh, actually, in... in lieu of college,

324. I decided to gain, uh, managerial experience,

325. uh, in the food and beverage sector.

326. Oh, managerial.

327. Yeah, yeah, managing in the, uh, the registorial capacity.

328. And where was that?

329. Uh, I think... I think it was Albertson's.

330. Um... Oh, um, I have to take this.

331. Uh, it's... it's the city of Oxnard.

332. Oh God, Ashley's a fucking idiot.

333. This one's wrong too. They're all wrong.

334. Monte Vista Point, Josh speaking.

335. Sorry to call you at work. Your cell went to voicemail.

336. No worries. You okay?

337. I'm fine. Is now a good time?

338. Yeah, of course.

339. Uh, hey, I'm sorry I didn't send any money this month.

340. It's just been really crazy with the new owner and everything.

341. It's okay. We're doing fine.

342. Okay, are you sure? 'Cause I can send some now if it's urgent.

343. We're good. Funeral's paid off. Chipping away at the hospital bill.

344. Nice. Slowly but surely, right?

345. Hey, so... some of your mail got sent to Mom's.

346. Uh... Oh yeah?

347. That's, uh... that's weird.

348. Uh, yeah. They're from a debt collector.

349. Oh. Oh God, how...

350. Sorry about that. That's, um...

351. I'm pretty sure I paid those off.

352. Uh, you haven't. You should call them.

353. Okay, yeah. Wow, jeez. Thanks for the heads-up, sis.

354. And you know, I checked the joint account you had with Mom.

355. What? I...

356. I don't think that you... you can...

357. Uh, that's allowed? How... how did you do that?

358. I just pretended I was Mom. They haven't updated their records yet.

359. That's illegal, Sara. I... I really need to close that account.

360. I couldn't help but notice the account had a bunch of overdraft charges.

361. Yeah, you know, like I said, I... I...

362. It's really crazy over here, and I can't stay on top of everything.

363. Josh, if you're hard up for money, you don't need to send us anything.

364. I'm fine.

365. Sara, I can't believe you lied to the bank.

366. I know you regret not being there when she passed,

367. but sending money you don't have isn't gonna change that.

368. Okay, you know what? Like I said...

369. It's the last time I'm gonna say this.

370. I had to work that night. It is what it is.

371. I'm gonna send you money. Goodbye.

372. Good boy. Good boy.

373. Sit down. Burberry, sit. Sit.

374. Off you go. Go find it.

375. Ugh, fucking Woosh.

376. Good boy. Good boy, good boy.

377. Good boy. Drop it. Good boy.

378. Oh, you're so cheeky.

379. Go find it.

380. Good boy. Good boy.

381. Drop it. Drop it.

382. Good boy. Sit, sit.

383. Go find it.

384. Oh! Fast reply.

385. Okay, let's see here.

386. Let's smooth that out.

387. Toss on a filter.

388. Burberry?

389. Burberry?

390. Good boy. Good boy. Come here. Come here.

391. No more. No more. No more.

392. No. No.

393. Sit.

394. Good boy.

395. Maybe you could come by and design my room sometime.

396. I moved in a week ago and still haven't unpacked.

397. So you just left your entire life in Korea

398. because she asked you to teach tennis here?

399. The chairwoman's always helped me out since my parents passed,

400. and, you know, she accounts for, like, 2% of Korean GDP.

401. Well,

402. she has appalling taste in interior design.

403. God, you could say anything in that accent, I'd still find it hot.

404. Oh, please. You have a line for everyone.

405. No, for real though.

406. The sun's a little hot today.

407. Here. Try this.

408. It's the best brand by far. Trochos.

409. Wow.

410. It feels so much cleaner. Is it Korean?

411. Yeah, Koreans are like that.

412. It's getting a little hot out.

413. - Can I get some on my back? - Yeah, of course.

414. Sorry, my hands are a bit cold.

415. No, feels really good.

416. So does Trochos only make sunscreen?

417. No, they got everything.

418. Eye creams, masks.

419. I'll bring you some samples next time.

420. I know a guy. I can get you a good deal.

421. Now, if I wanted to see results, like, right away, what would you recommend?

422. If you want immediate results, you gotta go to Seoul.

423. Trochos has the best skin clinic, and they have this VIP program

424. where they fly you first class, car service, five-star hotels.

425. - It's crazy. - Wow. How much is that?

426. Depends on what you want, but at the friends-and-family rate,

427. with a little Woosh-and-Lindsay rate,

428. I'd say $40,000?

429. But, I mean, you know, it's me.

430. Couldn't you knock off, like, uh, 20%?

431. Oof.

432. Yeah, with the flights and the hotels,

433. think the best I could do is $39,500.

434. Um...

435. I really need this.

436. So could you just... help me out?

437. I'm pulling a lot of strings for you.

438. Could always save up.

439. Yeah.

440. Fine.

441. Sorry.

442. Start working on that overhead.

443. Does the chairwoman know?

444. Yeah, she knows. She gave me permission.

445. No, I mean, does she know

446. you've been making a lot of the women here feel uncomfortable?

447. What are you talking about?

448. I think she'd be disappointed to hear you've been sexually harassing members.

449. Whoa. Are you serious?

450. Frankly, you're making me feel quite uncomfortable right now.

451. And the club takes allegations like this very seriously.

452. All right, guys, you gotta stack your knees above your ankles.

453. This isn't a lower back exercise, okay?

454. It's all about your posterior chain.

455. When I won the Butkus Award in 2015—

456. - My God. I'm so glad to be home. - Shit.

457. I had the busiest day today. Oh.

458. Sorry, were you recording something?

459. Yeah, I'm making a series of how-to videos.

460. I'm starting with the glutes.

461. Then I'm gonna work my way up the posterior chain.

462. Then I'm gonna head back down.

463. - Who's making you do this? - No one.

464. I just realized I got all this knowledge, you know?

465. From football, when I won the Butkus Award in 2015—

466. Oh, like all those trainer influencers you follow.

467. - You don't think it's a good idea? - No, it is. I was just asking.

468. It's a great idea.

469. I'm gonna clean up.

470. - No, no, it's okay. Um... - Yeah.

471. Did you pick up some clothes?

472. - Yeah, I got some good stuff. - Oh.

473. I texted a bunch, but you didn't reply.

474. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I... I had the craziest day today.

475. I... I was just, like, running around,

476. and people at work actually need me, which is...

477. It's kinda cool, but I have so much work to do.

478. Do you wanna do that in the bedroom? I gotta keep on recording my videos.

479. Yeah, okay.

480. Uh, is everything okay though? 'Cause I... I don't know.

481. I feel like I'm picking up a weird energy or something.

482. I'm fine. I... I think maybe you just might be projecting.

483. Yeah, maybe.

484. Wait. Are... are these from Goodwill?

485. Yeah, I went to H&M,

486. but it didn't feel right leaving the tags on and then returning, so...

487. Oh wow.

488. Nice, right?

489. So nice.

490. These are, like, timeless.

491. Good job.

492. Thanks.

493. Uh, just gonna go try them on.

494. Okay.

495. I got your back anytime. Anything for my girl.

496. Aw, that's so sweet.

497. Only the best for my boys.

498. What you got for us?

499. I got you the 20-year this time.

500. My guy, you know I'm happy for that Pappy.

501. It's a softer proof, more refined. It's very hard to find these days.

502. Man, this new owner better not replace you, bro.

503. What? What do you mean?

504. - Hey, Troy. - Yeah?

505. Tell him what you heard.

506. I didn't really hear much. It's not worth stressing out over.

507. Just tell me. I'm not stressed. I won't... won't stress.

508. You know, I just heard she might be interviewing some folks.

509. That's all.

510. Yeah, who? How... Like, how many?

511. I don't really know much.

512. Sorry, bro.

513. Oh, I got a capital-gains situation.

514. Hey, Troy, who's that tax guy you got? I think I need a little help.

515. Yeah, I'll text you.

516. He helped Park buy this club.

517. - Saved her 20 mil. - That's crazy.

518. What did he do, a 1031 or something?

519. Uh, duh.

520. My guy's good.

521. He set up a buy-borrow-die for me.

522. Yo, that's crazy. I can't even believe this shit's legal.

523. Damn. What asset did he make you buy?

524. Uh, I don't know, Monet, Manet.

525. All I know is we making money.

526. - Oh shit. - Party foul!

527. I saw that, Joshie. Now you gotta play. Come on over here.

528. - Oh... - Come on, just a quick one.

529. Nah, I can't. I gotta go home.

530. Put your money in.

531. - I mean, if you guys like losing. - Now we talking.

532. - Shit, here we go. High card wins. - Come on, Joshie.

533. - Come on. - Let's go, baby.

534. - All right. - Show us what you got.

535. - Hey, Josh, draw for me too. - You got it, Michael.

536. - Um... - Tough card to beat.

537. Oh shit! King takes it.

538. Way to go, Michael.

539. Goddamn it, Phelps. I hate you.

540. I don't care, Baron.

541. Swear to God, Mike. Do you ever lose at anything?

542. No, I don't do that. Thanks, Joshie.

543. - Yep. - All right, do it again.

544. What's your Venmo?

545. @MichaelPhelps.

546. Oh, yep, there you are.

547. There's a 5K limit.

548. Back-to-back days is fine.

549. Yeah, smart.

550. I know my post said $800,

551. but I am flexible, so, you know, we can talk.

552. I got stuff from pretty much everybody at every level.

553. Collegiate, pro, great guys.

554. So here we got the... AE 1s.

555. Signed by Ant.

556. Ah.

557. And we got the, uh, Jordans here. 1990 Jordans.

558. And here we got the Tiger Woods clubs. So, funny story about—

559. Are... are those the Beolab 18s?

560. Yeah.

561. Huh.

562. You, uh, you an audiophile?

563. Yeah, a little bit.

564. Nice, man. Nice.

565. So, anyway, funny story about these. Remember when Tiger went crazy at Augusta?

566. - Yeah. - This is his 4-iron.

567. That's why it's a little... little crooked.

568. You know, these 18s are going for, like, 10K on eBay.

569. - Is that right? - Yeah.

570. I'll take 'em off your hands right now for nine.

571. - They're, uh, they're not for sale. - Huh.

572. But I will sell you Tiger Woods's clubs for 10K.

573. - What about the Moog though? - None of the music stuff's for sale.

574. Right. Huh.

575. You know the... the AE 1s, they're gonna appreciate, by the way.

576. Anthony Edwards, he's the future.

577. When you said Anthony Edwards, I...

578. I thought that was the... the dude from ER.

579. Goose?

580. No, no. ER.

581. Yeah, no, I know. Goose from Top Gun.

582. - What does that have to do— - I'm saying it's the same actor.

583. Huh.

584. Uh...

585. Thank you for your time. You have a good day.

586. Uh, wait.

587. My husband will really hate this.

588. - Remove this one as well. - Yes.

589. You know, if the chairwoman needs help with any of the equipment,

590. my fiancé's a trainer here.

591. She said if you happen to need help with any of the equipment...

592. her fiancé is a trainer here.

593. We don't need that.

594. She won't be needing that at the moment.

595. He's... he's Korean.

596. Well, ha... half.

597. Oh, your boyfriend is Korean?

598. It's nice you look out for him.

599. You know, as you get old, friends go away.

600. Parents die. Even children leave.

601. The only person by your side is your spouse.

602. She says it's sweet of you to think of your fiancé.

603. What my husband really needs is a physical therapist.

604. What the chairwoman's husband needs is a physical therapist.

605. It's funny she should mention that because my fiancé's a physical therapist.

606. I thought he was a trainer.

607. Yeah, no, he is, part-time.

608. But, uh, yeah, we just never thought to have a PT here before.

609. It's genius, really.

610. Most members are fifties, sixties. They definitely keep Austin busy.

611. She's smart.

612. Your English, Chairwoman?

613. Sh, don't tell. Only you know.

614. Oh.

615. Well, I'm so honored.

616. And I'd be happy to set up Austin as a PT, if you wish.

617. Perhaps the chairwoman should try a session with your fiancé first?

618. Yes, let me try first.

619. Absolutely. Yeah, I'll set that up.

620. I chose a husband 20 years younger so I can die before him.

621. And now he has more health problem than me.

622. Hmm.

623. - Hey, babe. - Oh, uh, hey.

624. Shit, shit.

625. I got, like, so many compliments on my shirt today.

626. Like, I love it so much.

627. Oh, well, you look so good in it.

628. So

629. guess who's up for a full-time position at the gym.

630. I don't wanna know.

631. Austin Davis.

632. There's another Austin Davis?

633. - No. It's you, silly. - What?

634. How'd you do that?

635. I didn't do anything.

636. Like, Chairwoman Park just asked about you on her own.

637. She knew all about your football background.

638. I think she saw one of your videos.

639. Yeah?

640. It's kind of cool, right?

641. - I think we should celebrate or something. - Yeah.

642. - Do you want a DiGiornos? - For sure.

643. - Can you put, uh, uh, the triple meat in? - Uh, yeah.

644. There's, like... one little thing though.

645. Um...

646. You have to be a licensed physical therapist.

647. What? That's gonna take me, like, five years.

648. No, no, it's not.

649. What are you talking about? I don't have a license.

650. Look...

651. I just feel like we've been off lately.

652. Right?

653. No, I'm fine.

654. Are you okay?

655. Yeah, I... I guess I've been feeling a bit off.

656. And I don't know.

657. I... I just feel like it'd be really good for me and us

658. if we both worked at the club and, you know, moved up together.

659. I mean, I guess if you think that'll help you feel better, sure.

660. Yeah, I think it would.

661. Okay, then.

662. Hey, do you remember when you lost your driver's license,

663. and you used your fake ID for a year, and no one noticed?

664. - Yeah. - So...

665. Let's do the Fraxel. Also a brow lift.

666. And some filler.

667. Is that a wart? Tell her I'll remove that for free.

668. So Dr. Kim is recommending

669. the Fraxel laser, brow lift, and some filler.

670. The mole, he'll remove for free.

671. Canthoplasty and a bit of blepharoplasty- I guess we can talk about that once she gets here.

672. I'm going into surgery now, so...

673. Let me know when you've locked in a date. Okay? Bye.

674. Okay? Bye.

675. Say hello to my wife for me.

676. And I'd get all of this for free?

677. Sure. I guess, uh, that's the agreement.

678. Do you know what? I'm just gonna start with the laser.

679. I don't want to end up looking crazy.

680. Thank you.

681. I wouldn't have been able to afford all that.

682. I think this is gonna be really good for me.

683. I need you so bad, Ricky.

684. Oh yeah?

685. - No one can fuck me like you do. - Yeah.

686. Please don't make me go that long without you. Please, sir.

687. Oh fuck.

688. - No one gets me this dripping wet. - Oh yeah.

689. I love your perfect cock. It fills me up.

690. Did you come?

691. We still have nine more minutes—

692. I'm not trying to say that all pornography is bad,

693. but there are good data to support the idea

694. that if your brain learns to be aroused by watching other people have sex,

695. it is not necessarily going to carry over...

696. What the fuck?

697. What the fuck?

698. I'd like to change my security questions.

699. Uh, the joint account for me and my mom.

700. Marta Lucretia Diaz.

701. Yeah, I'll hold.

702. Uh, come on in.

703. - Hey, boss. - Hey.

704. Uh, just got a couple of things for you to sign.

705. Yeah, cool. Whatever you need.

706. Um, also, Eunice asked me to leave Austin's credentials with you,

707. assuming Park gives the green light, of course, but...

708. All right. Here you go.

709. Yeah, perfect.

710. Hey, um, by the way, I had a look at the invoices you gave me.

711. - I went over them, and they're all good. - Great.

712. Yeah. If, uh, you wouldn't mind just mailing them out... Is that all right?

713. - Yeah, no problem. Of course. - Yeah? All right.

714. - Thanks for doing that. - Oh. Yeah, uh...

715. Uh, thank you for being you.

716. Yeah.

717. Hey, you know what?

718. I think that you're just about ready to take on more of Deb's workload.

719. Oh. Wow.

720. Thank you. I... I really appreciate that.

721. Won't let you down.

722. - Keep crushing it. - Oh.

723. Hey, you're the MVP.

724. Yeah.

725. It totally worked. He didn't even look.

726. - I can't do this. I'm coming home. - Babe, stop.

727. No, this is straight-up fraud.

728. The only person who needs to approve the license is Josh,

729. and he already gave the thumbs-up.

730. If he ever becomes an issue, we whip out the video, and he'll fold.

731. That stupid old fuck.

732. Babe?

733. Josh?

734. One sec. I'm locked in.

735. Did you take the day off?

736. They got my number if they need me.

737. What happened to all of your stuff?

738. I had to pay Michael Phelps.

739. Okay.

740. Um...

741. So

742. I think I'm gonna go and visit my parents next month.

743. I scattered the mulch. Scattered it.

744. Yeah, I saw that.

745. Figured we'd grow tomatoes, zucchinis, squash, whatever.

746. We'd turn the ADU into an artist retreat.

747. Build a stage in the yard.

748. And then we dance, baby.

749. You're sort of freaking me out now, okay? Did you hear what I said?

750. Hey, have you ever heard of a buy-borrow-die loophole?

751. Um, are you okay?

752. It's this thing rich fucking assholes do where they purchase an asset.

753. Let's say you buy a painting for $1,000, and it appreciates to a million.

754. Well, when you sell it, you gotta pay taxes, right?

755. You hate art.

756. No, I love art. I love art. I love it. Monet, Manet.

757. I love it 'cause art can be collateral to get a million dollars from the bank.

758. And while you swim in money,

759. that art appreciates 10 mil, 20 mil.

760. And when you die, you pass it to your kid, and they sell it, and bam! Zero taxes!

761. - They pay no taxes. - Oh my God.

762. Please, don't tell me you bought art.

763. Babe, everyone is scamming.

764. Everyone's scamming.

765. We have been grinding away here, and for what?

766. Oh, I can smell it now. You're high and drunk.

767. Yeah, I had a few puffs.

768. I'm the fucking GM.

769. Outgoing payments, I sign them.

770. - You see where I'm going, right? - No.

771. - You see it? - No, I don't.

772. And you... you know Burberry hates the smell of marijuana.

773. Linds, listen to me. Listen to me, Lindsay.

774. I came up with a way

775. to skim thousands of dollars from the club.

776. Wait, is this a joke? Are you serious?

777. I'm the most serious.

778. The only person other than me that mails out the invoices

779. is now an underqualified, entitled little Gen Z

780. with no attention to detail.

781. She's the perfect scapegoat.

782. This... this is how we get back on track.

783. We finish the bed and breakfast.

784. We focus on us.

785. God, you're so beautiful.

786. I miss you.

787. We can't just disappear, Lindsay.

788. We can't.

789. Let me explain it again, okay? So you buy art—

790. Beautiful home.

791. Thank you. It's a rental.

792. Oh man.

793. Landlords, right?

794. Hmm.

795. I'll go check on the chairwoman.

796. Chairwoman!

797. One moment -

798. Would you like me to reschedule the session with Austin?

799. I'm on with my husband. Eunice, could you try him out for me?

800. Yes, understood.

801. Okay, get your head on straight.

802. What the hell is going on?

803. What did you mess up this time?

804. Dammit...

805. If you bought another Rolls-Royce without telling me, I'm going to be really mad.

806. The patient is dead.