BEEF 1x10

1. The female and the male are unwell.

2. The male fed me once.

3. I hope he feeds me again.

4. The female scared my uncle at her home.

5. Scared? Did he release poo-poo?

6. Yes, he released. She pointed a weapon at him.

7. Can this act of war be verified?

8. I will cry out for testimony.

9. It is confirmed.

10. I am upset.

11. Fuck.

12. Stay right where you are.

13. Amy.

14. Put the gun down.

15. Don't move.

16. I'm calling the police.

17. What the fuck? Get away from me!

18. Danny!

19. Shit.

20. Danny!

21. Shit.

22. Fuck. Why'd you make me do that?

23. Help!

24. Help!

25. Shit.

26. Fuck.

27. Fuck.

28. Ow.

29. Shit.

30. Goddamn it.

31. Water.

32. Oh, someone's here. Thank God.

33. Hello?

34. Ugh! Danny!

35. Oh, fuck you!

36. Leave me alone!

37. You leave me alone!

38. You ruined my life!

39. I ruined your life? What?

40. I may never see June again, you psycho!

41. My brother is dead because of you!

42. What?

43. Ow.

44. Paul's dead?

45. I don't know. I think so.

46. Fuck!

47. Danny, what happened?

48. The cops shot him.

49. He tried to climb over the wall and they fucking shot him.

50. Well, did you see him get into an ambulance?

51. - How many times did he get shot? - I don't know, okay?

52. I couldn't see.

53. Well, then you don't know.

54. Like, maybe he got away.

55. I mean, that could happen, right?

56. I don't know. I'm lost.

57. I just gotta see if he's okay.

58. All right? I just— Do you know how to get back?

59. Look, I hurt my ankle when you shoved me down the fucking hill,

60. so just help me get out of here and I'll show you where the road is.

61. I won't call the cops.

62. Where's your gun?

63. I don't know. I lost it.

64. How do I know you're not hiding it?

65. Huh? Because you're a pathological liar.

66. Because I would be shooting you with it, you moron.

67. Hey! Hey, come back here.

68. No. Use nice words!

69. You called me a liar.

70. I am not helping you unless you use nice words!

71. All right, all right, all right.

72. There's a hospital by the highway exit.

73. I bet they took him there.

74. Look, you don't get to talk about Paul.

75. - All right? - I was just trying to help.

76. If I'm gonna carry you, you don't get to talk, period.

77. Whatever.

78. God, there is no service anywhere.

79. What am I going to do?

80. - If he thinks he can just take her away— - Can you please shut the fuck up?

81. Okay? You sure we're going the right way?

82. Yes, I know where I'm going. Head towards those trees.

83. - Which trees? They're all trees. - The ones I'm pointing to, dumb-ass.

84. Oh, my God.

85. - It feels like we're going in circles. - Well, we're not, okay?

86. Okay.

87. Do you have anything to eat?

88. Yeah. Hold on.

89. Oh.

90. - Oh, thanks. - Yeah.

91. - Thanks— - Here you go.

92. - You are such a dick. - Mm. That is so good.

93. Ow! Why'd you do that?

94. - You started it. - God.

95. What are you doing?

96. Stop. Stop. Stop.

97. Your brother taught me that move.

98. Fuck you.

99. Next time someone honks at you, maybe let it go.

100. Maybe next time, think twice before you honk.

101. - How about that? - Why are you angry all the time?

102. - I could ask you the same thing. - Whatever.

103. We need water.

104. Humans can go days without water, so relax.

105. That is 100 percent not true.

106. Oh, yeah? How long then?

107. I don't know— Nineteen hours?

108. Nineteen? I've slept nineteen hours without water, you idiot.

109. Who sleeps that long?

110. I had a bad day!

111. - You're a child. - You're a baby.

112. You can't even walk.

113. And you fucked yourself, by the way. I can't even carry you now.

114. It doesn't matter.

115. I just need to last through the night.

116. - Someone's gonna find me in the morning. - Right.

117. You think someone's looking for you?

118. I bet George doesn't even know you're missing.

119. He's not gonna check on you, after all you put him through.

120. Please, you're not gonna shoot me.

121. Relax! Jesus! My God.

122. You are fucking proof that Western therapy does not work on Eastern minds.

123. Yeah, no shit.

124. Now go find some aloe vera and agave.

125. Elderberries too.

126. Come on.

127. Fine.

128. And stay where I can see you because I will shoot.

129. I have nothing left to lose.

130. What the fuck is an elderberry?

131. Can I eat this?

132. No, those are flowers.

133. Go towards the rock. Juicy shit thrives in the shade.

134. Can I eat this?

135. God, just listen to me and look for what I said.

136. Can I get you anything else?

137. Tea? Dessert?

138. Keep sassing and you won't get any.

139. Oh, wow, okay.

140. You know what your problem is?

141. You only think about yourself.

142. Your problem is you only bitch about everybody else.

143. Let's just stop talking, okay?

144. Here, have some elderberries.

145. Come on.

146. Whatever.

147. What a fucking mess.

148. You know, you're born,

149. you make choices,

150. then suddenly...

151. you're here.

152. Great summary.

153. Hey, are you sure these are elderberry?

154. Oh, my God.

155. What the fuck did we eat?

156. Something poisonous.

157. I thought you were a plant expert?

158. I just Google shit and pretend I am.

159. Oh, my God, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

160. I think we're in trouble. This—

161. This is not normal.

162. I'll go find help.

163. No, you won't be able to make it back.

164. I just want to try.

165. Hey!

166. Don't leave me here.

167. I can't move.

168. What's happening?

169. - What? - What?

170. What even is poison?

171. I think they're just chemicals.

172. What are chemicals?

173. I don't know, Danny.

174. How come Asians are all lactose intolerant?

175. Um...

176. Maybe because, uh...

177. milk wasn't part of our ancestors' diet.

178. No, that doesn't make sense,

179. because all Korean dishes have beef.

180. So if we have the cows, why wouldn't we drink the milk?

181. - Hey... - You know?

182. you gotta stop asking me questions, okay?

183. - You sound like June. - Mommy, why do you work so much?

184. - Okay. You all right? - Mommy, don't leave me!

185. Time is not making sense right now.

186. George told me how time is like—

187. Like, when you're a kid, it's all... small.

188. There's like a percentage—

189. Fuck. I'm messing it up.

190. Um, there's— Fuck!

191. Fuck, I mess everything up.

192. I have to go home.

193. The day you honked at me,

194. I was trying to return these hibachi grills

195. that I bought to kill myself.

196. Oh.

197. They wouldn't let me return them.

198. It's like the world wanted me gone.

199. Maybe that's why we're sick—

200. God, I fucked it all up,

201. they never even got my college applications.

202. Help Paul out.

203. You're the older brother after all.

204. You hear those voices?

205. No, I don't hear anything.

206. That's nice.

207. Danny, you really need to throw up.

208. It helped me feel better.

209. One time I peed all over someone's bathroom.

210. Yeah, that was me.

211. Oh, yeah, right.

212. No, I was thinking when I was a kid.

213. It was an accident, but my dad smacked the shit out of me.

214. Now you have to pass that trauma down

215. to an innocent driver of a white SUV.

216. You know our body absorbs nutrients,

217. and then pisses and shits out all the bad stuff?

218. Yeah, Danny, I do know about that.

219. What if we're doing that to babies?

220. But, you know, like parents,

221. like they just, like, piss their trauma down.

222. I wonder who took the first piss. You know?

223. - What were we before monkeys? - Sponge.

224. We weren't sponge before monkey.

225. We used to have tails.

226. Sometimes I can still feel where my tail used to be—

227. Oh, my God, someone's coming.

228. Thank you.

229. Thank you so much.

230. For what?

231. What?

232. Oh.

233. I think that helped.

234. Oh, look, it's pretty like Skittles.

235. I could go for some Burger King right now.

236. You know, everyone born in the '80s got fucking screwed,

237. like, fast food, candy, fucking secondhand smoke.

238. Look, just think about it.

239. We hit puberty right when they invented the Internet.

240. And then when we left home, that's when ethernet became a thing.

241. Right.

242. All that porn. Uncharted territory.

243. Yeah, it was like Wild, Wild West shit.

244. I didn't even have to search. I grabbed whatever was available.

245. You know what, we were the guinea pigs, right?

246. We got used.

247. It's fucked up.

248. I guess I can agree with that.

249. Yo, what if—

250. What if our generation started copying the porn

251. that they saw in real life?

252. And then real life became the porn.

253. Like digital— Like a digital-analog bridge.

254. Oh, whoa.

255. Right, like...

256. we're the reason choking is mainstream now.

257. It is?

258. Yeah, all the kids are doing it.

259. They don't even know that it used to be less common.

260. What?

261. Is that what my brother was like?

262. Yeah, very rough but like in the best way possible.

263. Okay, actually never— Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Okay?

264. I'm sorry I asked. I don't want to know details.

265. Sorry.

266. I don't even know if Paul had a real girlfriend.

267. I should have talked to him more.

268. About some real shit.

269. He would have liked that.

270. I think he just wanted to feel seen.

271. I mean, we all do, right?

272. I don't want anyone to see who I really am.

273. You know, one time I was so sick of George's vases,

274. I broke one on purpose and I blamed it on June.

275. - You don't like George's vases? - No, I hate them.

276. I just— I couldn't tell him.

277. I couldn't tell him a lot of things.

278. Why not?

279. I think when nowhere feels like home, you just retreat into yourself.

280. But George and June feel like home, right?

281. I don't know.

282. I used to think June was the answer.

283. When she was a baby, I'd look at her and I just felt like,

284. no matter what I did or didn't do that day,

285. her love would never waver.

286. And I've been chasing that feeling with her ever since.

287. But she's getting older.

288. And her love gets very conditional.

289. Right, like if you give me that cookie, then I'll give you the hug.

290. Paul is like that.

291. Still is.

292. Exactly.

293. I realized, you know, when she was a baby,

294. she never had unconditional love for me.

295. People think babies are so innocent and cute but they're not.

296. No, they're all screaming and crying

297. because they don't got what they want right away.

298. - Ugh. - They're the most ruthless of us all.

299. They just lack the words or power to do anything about it.

300. A baby with mobility and strength is just a serial killer.

301. And yet, to think...

302. I expected this little child to make me whole.

303. When George couldn't and work couldn't.

304. Hmm.

305. Why is it so hard for us to be happy?

306. Oh, shit, you okay?

307. Did I eat Skittles?

308. Oh, something's not right. It's coming back on strong.

309. I feel like you're inside my head.

310. Are you talking or me?

311. I'm not sure.

312. I think I was talking about this one night,

313. I was up real late at night

314. and my mom got me real good with that Kmart maemae.

315. I think I was like 12 or 13 at the time.

316. I got out of bed and walked over to my brother's.

317. God, he must have been having a good-ass dream

318. because he was all smiling and shit.

319. Made me so fucking mad.

320. I grabbed a mechanical pencil and I was about to stab Paul in the eye.

321. And the only reason I didn't was because when I looked up

322. there was a motel guest staring right back at me outside the window.

323. I thought I did that.

324. Wait.

325. Who am I?

326. Yo, you're Amy.

327. I'm Danny. Come on.

328. Oh, right, I'm Amy.

329. Wait, did you jerk off to my butt photo?

330. I'm sorry.

331. It's okay, Danny.

332. I've done some shameful things too.

333. Yo, by the way, what's up with your tattoo?

334. It's the number 22.

335. Right, but why 22?

336. Did you know Joseph Heller titled his book Catch-18

337. but his editor arbitrarily changed it to Catch-22?

338. Ow, ow, ow.

339. No.

340. Well, for as long as I can remember, that's what being alive has felt like.

341. Can't have form without space.

342. Can't experience light without dark.

343. We're stuck.

344. Yeah, and any time you try to hold on to one thing...

345. it slips away.

346. I've never been able to describe this feeling inside of me,

347. but I think that's it.

348. Catch-22.

349. Right? It's like a void.

350. But not. It's like empty but solid.

351. Yes, that's right, Daniel.

352. Empty but solid.

353. Right under the surface.

354. You think other people feel this way?

355. I know George doesn't.

356. I hope June never does.

357. I don't know.

358. Maybe we're not normal.

359. Maybe we're too fucked up.

360. Or maybe normal people are just delusional fucked up people.

361. Either way, that's why I don't believe in God.

362. What do you mean?

363. Why would a God make it like this?

364. Well, if God is everything,

365. then we're God.

366. That means God is just like us.

367. Maybe that's why everything is the way it is.

368. God's just trying not to feel alone in nothingness.

369. I've never talked to anybody like this before.

370. Me neither.

371. I think we're dying.

372. I think so too.

373. I see your life.

374. You poor thing.

375. All you wanted was to not be alone.

376. You don't have to be ashamed.

377. It's okay.

378. I see it all.

379. You don't have to hide. It's okay.

380. Wow.

381. There's really nothing after this.

382. We should have done this more often.

383. What a waste.

384. At least we did it once.

385. Yeah.

386. This is nice.

387. Oh, my God.

388. Danny, wake up.

389. Huh?

390. We're still here?

391. Yeah.

392. Hey, I hear cars.

393. Oh, we gotta be getting close.

394. It's kind of funny that we're rushing back

395. to the absolute shit show that's waiting for us.

396. Yeah, well...

397. we gotta face it, right? Fuck.

398. Yeah, but we could slow down, right?

399. Yeah. All right, yeah.

400. You know what?

401. You forget, but LA's pretty beautiful.

402. Oh, yeah.

403. You get so used to it, it's easy to take for granted.

404. Oh, shit.

405. There's some houses over there.

406. Oh, wow.

407. Look. There they are.

408. It's so peaceful from up here.

409. I got reception.

410. Oh. Thank you, God.

411. Paul's alive.

412. Oh, my God, that's amazing.

413. Shit, I lost reception.

414. Fuck. Me too.

415. Those houses looked a lot closer from up there.

416. Oh, shit.

417. I think we're close.

418. Oh, thank God.

419. I'm sure we can explain everything.

420. A good lawyer should keep you out of jail.

421. Look, Danny, if you need help with anything,

422. - like financially or like— - No, no, no. I'll be fine.

423. Everything's gonna work out as it should.

424. Are you sure?

425. I mean, I'm not, but...

426. - We need a break. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

427. Okay.

428. - All right, you good? - Yep.

429. Careful, careful. Okay?

430. - Yeah. - Hey!

431. - Amy! Are you okay? - George?

432. Get your hands off her!

433. What? What?

434. I just wanna know if I gotta get to where you are.

435. Everything fades.

436. Nothing lasts.