Beavis and Butt-head 5x7

Directed by Mike Judge

Tracy Grandstaff as Daria Morgendorffer (voice)

Beavis and Butt-head pledge money to Daria for a walkathon, then have to walk off the money when they can't pay.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Everybody shut up! Right now, please give your undivided attention to Clark Cobb and his

2. good friend, Saco! Thank you young students. I'm Clark Cobb from Cobb's Family Hardware.

3. May and Saco here want to tell you about the Christian business man's annual charity case walkathon.

4. Mr. Cobb, is it true that Jesus invented the walkathon when he walked out onto the sea of Galilee?

5. That's right Saco! Saco's great! Saco's got a hand up his butt. I think it's one of those TV preachers.

6. Damn it, Beavis. Better not send them all our money again.

7. Sometimes I can't help but it's like, if they're going, I know that's right. I'll let you get to me.

8. Before you know, it's like, I'm on the phone like that. Yeah, yeah, here's all my money.

9. Yeah, but it's like, you send them all your money and then you're still just a dumb-ass with a lot of problems.

10. Oh yeah. Hey, you're right. Get me there with that.

11. Elvis is in our jeans. Yeah, yeah, he put a chick's effect. Elvis has left my jeans.

12. Damn it, Beavis. If you pull down your pants one more time, I'm going to be the living crap out of you.

13. Hey, Beavis, while you were fiddling with your wiener, I think you said that Elvis is like, in Joan Rivers?

14. What really?

15. I'm having cold. Can we talk? I've got Elvis inside me.

16. Beavis, that doesn't sound anything like her. I hear very much.

17. Yeah, but in GoCart. Yeah, GoCart's rule. But instead of a car, I'm going to have a GoCart.

18. Yeah, Elvis.

19. You got a pace yourself.

20. Hello, boys. Learning how to drink from a cup, Beavis. Shut up. I hear you.

21. How come you guys aren't out collecting pledges for the walkathon?

22. Pledges?

23. The way you raise money in a walkathon is you get people to pledge money for every mile you walk.

24. People give you X amount of money if you walk, Y number of miles.

25. You get people to pay you to walk.

26. Cool. Why didn't you just say so?

27. So, will you guys pledge for me?

28. Uh, okay. Like, uh, how much?

29. How's a quarter of a mile sound?

30. Uh, two quarters of a mile? 75 cents.

31. I just said that dumb-ass. Okay, a dollar.

32. 10. Beavis and Butthead. 10 dollars a mile each. Hey, uh, don't you have to like do something for us now?

33. Okay, fair spare. For every mile you walk, I'll pledge a nickel for you guys to split.

34. Okay. Great. See you at the walkathon.

35. We just totally ripped her off.

36. Oh, yeah. Cool. A midnight encounter with a drunken kink of juleeds but head to consider zoology.

37. Stay tuned.

38. Alex, let me say this.

39. Each step you take is like a kick in Satan's Keister.

40. You ready, Saco?

41. On your mark. Get sick. Go. That's fucked.

42. Yeah, they didn't even use a gun.

43. That's okay, dude, because we're going to be rich.

44. Yeah, charity of cool.

45. Hey, there's too many people walking.

46. Yeah, let's go this way.

47. Walking fuck. Yeah, I don't understand what all this walking crap has to do with making money.

48. Yeah, really.

49. Uh, we must be close to that 10 mile mark by now.

50. Hey, good job, boys. You made it.

51. Your friend Dario already gave me the 50 cents she pledged you. So if you any up the hundred bucks a piece you pledge to

52. will be all squared up. You two are fine young people.

53. Uh, could you like give us our money now?

54. Yeah, yeah, give us our money.

55. Don't tell me you boys weren't planning to pay. I thought we ripped off Dario, but head.

56. Boys, when you play the Christian Businessman's Association for Fools, you play the Lord for a fool.

57. Uh, could you like shut up?

58. Yeah, me.

59. Now, because I'm a Christian, I will not strike you.

60. But because I'm a businessman, I will see to it that you walk off this pledge at a rate of five cents a mile between you.

61. Now, let me see. That would be four thousand miles. You better get started, boys.

62. Uh, I'm making out what?

63. Uh, this is kind of irritating.

64. Yeah.

65. I bet that's one of those songs I'm liking sucks right now, but then later on it starts rocking.

66. Yeah.

67. Uh, how do you know?

68. One guy's got a cool tee.

69. Uh, oh.

70. Well, let's see.

71. Uh, is that what you're talking about, Bee-Beth?

72. What's going on?

73. What the hell is going on here?

74. Yeah, I'm like, what is this?

75. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

76. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

77. What's this like that? Easy listening stuff?

78. Oh, yeah, yeah.

79. I can't make all that easy listening when it's like, it's like really hard to listen to.

80. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

81. It makes me sick.

82. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

83. There's no man there.

84. Damn it, Bee-Beth, you promised that this would start rocking.

85. I did promise, but I did.

86. Maybe it would start rocking.

87. Well, maybe I'm going to smack you upside the head.

88. Well, hey, dumb-ass.

89. I'm going to kick your ass.

90. I promise.

91. Let's not the whole thing.

92. Let's not do that.

93. Yeah.

94. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

95. Yeah.

96. Look at these guys suck so much.

97. Yes, they dress up like they're going to rock, but they make you suck.

98. Yeah, these guys are like a cross between stone temple pilots and Nelson and my butt

99. really cool and like, uh, and some dirt and a rabbit.

100. Rats are cool.

101. Somebody better call the Arkham Man.

102. Whoa, candle, candle, candle, candle.

103. I think, rule.

104. Have you ever seen a alarm clock that they're like candles and you stick them up your butt?

105. Uh, I've never heard of that, baby.

106. It's like, they have all these times written on the side and then you light it and sleep on your stomach.

107. And then when like, burns down to the time, it's like, if I could get on your butt, you like,

108. and then you wake up and, yeah, really?

109. Yeah, I'll show you what.

110. My uncle has a whole bunch of them.

111. He nearly gives me one for my birthday.

112. He put it, that's a guy that works at Maxi Mart.

113. Oh, yeah.

114. He's cleaning out the slurpy machine.

115. Get me a large or a chopper.

116. A chopper and a blue waka-do.

117. This chick is psycho.

118. Yeah, I'm like, you know, like she's pretty hot, but it's like, I don't know, man.

119. And I stay away from her.

120. It's like, she's got a nice body and everything, but if you went out with her,

121. she'd probably like, put a rat's head on your bed or something.

122. I wouldn't be so bad if you'd probably chop off your wiener, too.

123. Oh, yeah.

124. You don't want to get involved with the chick, that's like a whole bunch of pets.

125. Yeah, yeah.

126. The library cuts that dude who like invented the waka-thon.

127. I'm gonna kick his ass.

128. Yeah.

129. I thought charity was supposed to be for free.

130. How about less talking and more walking boys?

131. You're gonna finish this job even if it takes you till the second coming.

132. Charity sucks.

133. Whoa, this looks like that cop's show.

134. Yeah, really.

135. It's like, one atom five, one atom five.

136. We have a female Caucasian chick standing in the road acting like a dumb-ass.

137. Work me back up.

138. Come on.

139. Roger, one atom five.

140. You can rip her down naked and bring her to me.

141. That's a ten-four.

142. Good buddy, we got him.

143. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

144. That's a fucking bad man.

145. Come on.

146. That's pretty cool, baby.

147. You could probably be a cop.

148. Yeah, me.

149. I think it's like in my blood because I heard my dad was like in the Navy or something.

150. It's like one of those dudes is like really intense all the time.

151. I was like, you know, you're wearing some stuff and sometimes it's pretty cool,

152. but sometimes the years I go, sun-down, damn it.

153. Yeah.

154. Guys like this, like they always come into burger world telling you why meat's bad for you and stuff.

155. Yeah, yeah.

156. But it's like, I always tell them if meat's bad for you, then how come it's food?

157. Me, yeah, really.

158. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

159. Say I was a good boy.

160. I was like, I told him to get the hell out of my restaurant.

161. This looks like that dude from that movie, Smell of a Woman.

162. Oh, yeah, yeah.

163. You know, he was like blind and stuff.

164. Yeah, he was like, whoah, whoah, whoah.

165. He's a good actor.