Beavis and Butt-head 5x47

Directed by Mike Judge

The boys want to sue a chick in class for sexual harassment because she's constantly giving them ""wood.""

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1. Remember, sexual harassment can be defined as any sexual interaction, be it verbal or physical,

2. that makes its victims uncomfortable or makes it difficult for them to work.

3. Now, I don't want to mention any names, but it seems that some of you could use a little

4. sensitivity training on this issue.

5. Okay.

6. Does everyone understand what I'm trying to say here?

7. Davis, that head, uh, sort of, because like, right now, I'm being, you know, sexually

8. harassed by Kimberly.

9. What?

10. Yeah, me too.

11. He's giving me a steffy.

12. Yeah.

13. And it makes it like, uncomfortable for me to work and stuff.

14. Usually, harasses me at least once a day.

15. Four or five times a day for me, sir.

16. Mr. Fant reason, do I have to sit near these guys?

17. Yeah, yeah.

18. Right, baby.

19. Mr. Vendries, and make them stop.

20. Guys, that's just the kind of thing I'm talking about.

21. See, right now, you two are harassing Kimberly.

22. Oh, wait!

23. Just can't get s-deffy's.

24. Come on, guys, this is serious.

25. In the real world, people go to court and sue for millions of dollars over this kind of

26. harassment.

27. Whoa.

28. Yeah, yeah.

29. And only a little dollar?

30. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

31. Yeah.

32. Yeah.

33. Hey, that's not kid from that losing my religion video.

34. Yeah, but I thought he got shot with an arrow or something.

35. Yeah.

36. It's good to be gay.

37. Top half.

38. Be an arrow.

39. Just be there and velvet.

40. Yeah, to give him a smile.

41. It's good to get him.

42. Yeah, yeah.

43. Yeah, yeah.

44. Yeah, yeah.

45. Yeah, yeah.

46. Yeah.

47. Yeah.

48. Yeah, yeah.

49. It's good to get high.

50. It's good to get high.

51. What kind of method is that?

52. Hey, buddy, did you see that guy?

53. He had like mirrors all over himself.

54. Yeah.

55. It would be cool if you had mirrors all over your clothes like this.

56. And then like, you could use them to see your own taint.

57. That would be cool.

58. I don't want to see my taint.

59. That's stupid.

60. Yeah, I'm always thinking.

61. Still a freeze I'm excited.

62. It's good to be keen.

63. Oh, check it out.

64. What had it velvet, Joe?

65. Oh, yeah.

66. He's cool.

67. I'm leather, Joe.

68. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

69. I'm leather, Joe.

70. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

71. I'm leather, Joe.

72. It's my book.

73. How to be a hoe.

74. It's my book.

75. How to be a hoe.

76. It's about time they put him in a video.

77. Hey, buddy, how come Tom Perry is famous?

78. Hey, cause he's on TV dumb-ass.

79. Yeah, but how did he get on TV?

80. Uh, cause he's famous.

81. Um, he ever, but he like, how did he get famous?

82. He got famous cause he's on TV.

83. Yeah, but how did he get on TV?

84. Cause he's famous, beveth.

85. Now shut up before I smack the BG.

86. I thought of you.

87. And what would be the basis of this sexual harassment suit?

88. Uh, she keeps harassing us by, you know, giving us diffies.

89. Yeah, yeah.

90. Like, um, like just yesterday when you go thriding something,

91. I could like lean over and like, I could check out part of her boobs.

92. I see.

93. Uh, tell me.

94. Is the young lady in question, uh, well off financially by chance?

95. Uh, I don't know.

96. She never talks to us cause like, she's one of those rich chicks.

97. Yeah.

98. Gentlemen, this is exactly the type of reverse sexual harassment case

99. in which the constitution of the United States of America is being thrown right out the window.

100. Cool.

101. Yeah, throw it out the window.

102. Boys, we are going to sue the girl.

103. We are going to sue the teacher.

104. We are going to sue the school system and we are going to sue the girl's parents.

105. What?

106. That rule.

107. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

108. And furthermore, we are going to put a restraining order on that girl,

109. making it illegal for her to come within 100 feet of you boys.

110. Uh, that would suck.

111. Yeah.

112. I need her to be a little closer than that.

113. So, uh, we're not going to have to like go to court, are we?

114. Gentlemen, I believe we can win this case

115. without even going to court.

116. Next, if you've ever dared to dream, if you've ever looked to the sky and wondered,

117. if you've ever stepped in something you wish you hadn't,

118. just dated it.

119. Order.

120. Order.

121. Counselor Adler, you may begin your opening statement.

122. Your Honor, I will prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that my clients are the victims of a cruel campaign of sexual harassment.

123. Imagine yourself a student in school,

124. losing your one chance at a decent education because some young woman of questionable morals,

125. some vile temptress repeatedly arouses you to the point where you-

126. I did not, I didn't not.

127. Of course you didn't.

128. It's obvious that the guilty party here is that young lady right over there.

129. Objections.

130. Over rules.

131. Rules sustained. Watch it, Counselor.

132. Now, I know this is difficult, but tell me if you can about the pain that Kimberly has caused you.

133. Uh, it's like, you know, she's a chick.

134. And how would you describe this chick?

135. A hot chick.

136. Yes?

137. Well, she's always like harassing us by being so hot every day.

138. And it's hard to concentrate on this stuff.

139. Hard.

140. And she's doing it again.

141. She's doing it right now.

142. What?

143. Is she doing?

144. She's giving me a stiffie.

145. Do you think you-a-what?

146. You know?

147. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.

148. He has a new erection.

149. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

150. It's all her fault.

151. Order.

152. Order.

153. Shut up.

154. You, you, and you in my chambers now.

155. I got the power, sir.

156. I got the power, sir.

157. Whoa, they're cracking concrete.

158. I got the power, sir.

159. You said crack.

160. Well, I guess I'll just-a-mean.

161. I guess I'll just do that for a while.

162. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.

163. Whoa, hey!

164. They're rolling around in a pool of feces!

165. Oh, yeah.

166. Cool.

167. I think a video is like, a tribute to turds?

168. Yeah, it's about time.

169. I've been meaning to do a tribute to my own turds.

170. It's called food by a retro specter.

171. You know who I'd like to see roll around in a bunch of species?

172. Food in the blowfish.

173. Oh yeah, me.

174. Yeah, that'd be cool.

175. Me.

176. With a little love.

177. Bring me a little tendon ass.

178. Flop, flop, flop.

179. Yeah.

180. That would roll.

181. Yeah.

182. Yeah.

183. And I think it would really go with the music really well too.

184. Your honor, my clients constitutional rights are being trampled by this closed door session.

185. If we're not returned to the courtroom immediately, we are going to sue you.

186. We are going to sue the state.

187. Mr. Adler, have you ever been jailed for contempt of court?

188. Uh, I believe that was among the charges, yes.

189. Well, that was a picnic compared to what will happen to you if you don't shut up right now.

190. As for you too.

191. In all my years on the bench, I have never seen such a cynical, manipulative, and ultimately pathetic attempt to subvert the judicial system.

192. Two sexist, ignoramuses such as your sounds have no business time.

193. Uh, what am I?

194. Now you're harassing us.

195. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

196. Yeah, yeah.

197. These are cool.

198. Yeah.

199. Oh, check it out.

200. It's John Stewart.

201. Yeah.

202. He's horny.

203. Yeah.

204. He's the hornyest talk show dude on TV.

205. Yeah, but it's like he shouldn't try to be in a band like this.

206. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's okay, but you know, it's like, you know, nothing special.

207. You know, like, he ought to just do his show, you know.

208. Yeah, but you know what he should do?

209. He should just like get rid of all that other stuff on his show and just have the whole show be like, you know, him trying to pick up on a chick.

210. Yeah, yeah.

211. It's like, they bring out a girl with big hooters.

212. Maybe like this one right here.

213. And then, um, he just sits there and tries to score.

214. And that would be cool.

215. Damn it.

216. I wish they'd show those bees again.

217. Bees kick ass.

218. Yeah.

219. Bees roll.

220. Yeah, I'd like to see a little more fat too.

221. That's the best part.

222. You know, like whenever I'm eating some meat, I just like eat all the fat and just leave the rest.

223. Yeah.

224. I like to make a fat sandwich sometimes.

225. Yeah, little mayonnaise, little salt.

226. Yeah, roll.

227. Yeah.

228. I'm hot.

229. Look what she's doing.

230. I do that sometimes, dude.

231. Like, help me fall asleep.

232. You mean, cause it like tires you out or something?

233. No.

234. Not really.

235. I just spin around until I get really dizzy, and then I like to fall down and bang my head

236. on something, and I just go to sleep.

237. Or it's every time.

238. You're pretty cool sometimes, Bees.

239. No.

240. No.

241. No.

242. No.

243. No.