Beavis and Butt-head 5x45

Directed by Mike Judge

The boys go investigate a crime scene, Beavis gets arrested after nearly killing Butt-head.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. I'm gonna turn to a very special bay watch.

2. Oh no! Mitch is drowning! But all I have on is this white t-shirt.

3. We interrupt this program with a special news bullet.

4. Damnit, Bavis, that's the last time I let you touch the remote.

5. Give me that.

6. No way, I didn't change it.

7. Domestic violence reared its ugly head today in the town.

8. Damnit, Bavis, give me the remote.

9. No way!

10. I'm a shocking murder has taken place.

11. We now cut life to the scene, Mike.

12. Thanks, Don. That's right, I am live, but I'm also about the only thing live here.

13. A man has allegedly killed his brother, right here, and this apartment behind me.

14. Apparently the older of the two brothers had a history of abusing his younger sibling,

15. and authorities are speculating that the younger brother finally resorted to murder,

16. to put an end to his years of torment.

17. Police are asking this normally quiet community for their cooperation,

18. asking citizens to stay away from the Grizzly scene and avoid the urge to come and see things for themselves.

19. Hey, Bavis.

20. I know where that is.

21. We can go check it out!

22. We can go check it out!

23. Yeah.

24. That's a good idea.

25. Yeah, thank you very much.

26. Uh, violence?

27. Alright, yeah, yeah.

28. I like when I tell you beforehand that there's going to be some violence,

29. so you can make sure you don't go to the bathroom or anything.

30. Yeah.

31. Check it out.

32. Oh, yeah.

33. Who are these guys, but it...

34. This is whole, Bavis.

35. What do you think I was talking about?

36. Oh, I thought you were talking about her bunghole.

37. BANGHOL!

38. BANGHOL!

39. BANGHOL!

40. BANGHOL!

41. So, like, the sign at the beginning of the video said violence,

42. and the band's name is HOLD,

43. and we aren't seeing any violence or any HOLD.

44. Yeah, really?

45. That's f**k!

46. Yeah.

47. They need to show up big, violent, butthole.

48. Show you my butt hole if you want.

49. Ow!

50. You know, I heard this whole chick is a slut.

51. Really?

52. Yeah, I think it'd be cool if we got together, you know?

53. Because, like, we get spaz out and stuff,

54. and then we can do it.

55. The only way you could score with a chick

56. is if she was like the biggest slut in the world.

57. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

58. You know who HOLD looks like in this video?

59. She looks like that Tory spelling chick.

60. Yeah, but HOLD looks a lot hotter than Tory spelling.

61. Okay.

62. What kind of a name is HOLD anyway?

63. Yeah, I mean, you're gonna name your daughter HOLD.

64. At least name her like bunghole or something.

65. It could be like, you know, that joke

66. where the father names her after the first thing he sees when she's born.

67. Yeah, but then why would he have a baby?

68. Oh, yeah.

69. Hey, hey.

70. You're a big...

71. and then then then then then then.

72. Hey, butt it.

73. Where are we going again?

74. Babe, I have to smack you upside the head

75. and beat some sense into you.

76. We're going to check out that place

77. where that guy killed his brother, dumb-ass.

78. Oh, yeah.

79. It was your idea in the first place, butt knocker?

80. Hey, don't come in butt knocker, butthead.

81. I'm serious.

82. So, uh...

83. I wonder why that dude killed his brother.

84. Yeah.

85. He must have been really pissed.

86. That's no excuse, be this.

87. Oh, yeah.

88. Sorry.

89. I bet his brother probably like stole his woman

90. or his nachos or something.

91. Yeah, probably.

92. Maybe killed him with his butt.

93. See, yeah.

94. Or maybe killed him with a bird.

95. That's really stupid, be this.

96. Butt knocker.

97. Damn it, butthead. Stop calling me butt knocker.

98. There it is, dude.

99. Looks just like it did on TV.

100. Yeah.

101. Uh...

102. This is stupid.

103. What the hell is this doing here?

104. This isn't going to keep anybody out.

105. It isn't?

106. Oh, yeah.

107. Turn on the light butt knocker.

108. I can't see anything.

109. Stop calling me butt knocker.

110. Be this you butt munch.

111. Turn on the light before I kick your ass.

112. Okay, that's better.

113. This is cool.

114. So, uh...

115. Where do you think he killed him?

116. Hmm, let's see.

117. It looks like he fell.

118. I have to say he died right about here.

119. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

120. Oh, yeah.

121. Whoa, check out this thing.

122. I bet he hit him with this.

123. Don't be stupid, be this.

124. That's for like changing tires and stuff.

125. Whoa, need it.

126. Hey, I got the remote.

127. Let's see what's on TV.

128. Leave us.

129. I told you I wasn't going to let you touch the remote anymore.

130. Now, give me that butt knocker.

131. No way.

132. Stop calling me butt knocker.

133. Get it here before I kick your butt knockering ass.

134. Stop calling me that butt knocker.

135. Butt knocker.

136. Shut up, butt knocker.

137. I'm going to kill you butt knocker.

138. I got him.

139. Oh, yeah.

140. You and what other butt knocker is?

141. Shut up, butt knocker.

142. Butt knocker.

143. Shut up, butt knocker.

144. Kill you butt knocker.

145. Yeah, stop it, bitch.

146. Come on, let me go.

147. I'm going to kill butt hit.

148. I'm going to kill it.

149. Ah!

150. Ah!

151. That was cool.

152. Hey, check it out.

153. That looks like the jungle ride.

154. Oh, yeah.

155. That's so stupid.

156. Oh, yeah.

157. You get in there and there's that guy with that safari hat on and stuff.

158. Yeah.

159. When I used to go on that thing, I used to just jump off the boat and just wait around the water.

160. And then go off into bushes and sit there by myself.

161. Yeah.

162. And then I stand up and pull down my pants and go,

163. boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

164. It's down the road.

165. You got the boys.

166. You know another cool ride to jump off of is the haunted house?

167. I used to like going there and I'd like jump off the car,

168. and then I'd go over by the witches and wait till the next car comes

169. and I'd put a broom up my butt.

170. There you go.

171. Boom, boom, boom.

172. Beavis witches don't put rooms up their butt they put them between their legs

173. Really I wish someone had told me that before I ruptured my sphincter

174. I have a splitter in my bunghole a size of a pencil

175. You're just joking right bev

176. I'm in no

177. You know your friend beavis's fingerprints are all over everything and it's making things kind of hard on us

178. With your help we can book this kid bevis and keep the press off our backs

179. Yeah, really? I know you're coming from man. Yeah. It's like it's like sometimes but it just like if I keep calling me butnocker

180. He won't stop and pissing me off and I tell him to stop and he won't stop he just keeps calling me butnocker

181. And he won't give me the remote and and okay follow me girls

182. So you sure that's him yeah, Thothar that's the butt knocker right in the middle

183. You know he threatened to kill you that's pretty serious stuff. Would you be willing to press charges

184. Prath what

185. Charges you know you feel a little form that explains everything that happened

186. Uh, I don't want to fill out forms and stuff are you sure because if you don't we'll have to let him go without any kind of punishment

187. Uh, that's okay dude. I'll just kick his ass later

188. All right, let him go

189. Butnocker

190. Whoa, you're not sure

191. Look I heal

192. Must mean there's a chick

193. Yeah, or Todd run grand

194. Who?

195. Todd run grand

196. Who the hell if he bevast you don't know who Todd run grand is

197. Yeah

198. No and you don't either

199. He's drinking

200. I can hardly wait till I get older and like get a job and stuff so I can drink yeah

201. I plan on doing some smoking too

202. Yeah, hey, hey, hey, that's a street where Madonna wanted to have her baby

203. So what?

204. Well, then you think of something to say bunghole

205. At least I'm trying

206. Okay, I will think of something to say

207. Shlong poop

208. Whoa check it out you must have been drinking milk

209. See if she's getting bigger thing. Yeah

210. Oh

211. And our boobs got bigger too

212. Well, hey, that just gave me an idea you know, it'd be cool if they could like make me big

213. And then they could shrink me again, but keep my weener the same size

214. You know what I would roll say cuz then I got this gigantic slong

215. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but like if I could really do that

216. And you could just have them just make your weener bigger. No, no, I'm saying they'd make me bigger

217. Because I might weener get bigger, but then they shrink me and keep my weener the same size same damn it

218. What are you talking about who are they?

219. Who cares anyways just shut up

220. Oh, well, I thought it was a pretty good idea. Yeah, yeah